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When Bakugou and Kirishima stop being friends, it isn't the end of world for Kirishima.
He still has other friends, he always has.
Bakugou on the other hand?
Bakugou's entire planet stops spinning. His sun burnt out, leaving only darkness in its absence.
He can't eat. He can't sleep. All he can think about is the stupid fight, the one where he said too many harsh words, the ones that finally pushed Kirishima away for good.
"You act like you have a fucking thing for me, asshole. You gay for me? Ha! Fucking sick."
He meant it as a joke. He did. Honestly.
Kirishima didn't find it funny.
Bakugou tries to shake the image of it his brain. Tries not to picture his eyes welling up with tears. Tries not to remember him screaming at him to never talk to him again.
That was weeks ago now.
Weeks of Bakugou barely functioning.
Weeks of having to sit back and watch Kirishima flourish.
Because apparently, he didn't need Bakugou.
Apparently he got along just fine without him.
From across the crowded lunchroom Bakugou can see him. Kirishima is sitting, surrounded by a large group of people, laughing wide and loud at something one of those idiots said. Everyone leaning close being pulled in by his natural gravitational pull.
Kirishima is as bright as the sun. And he left Bakugou here, alone, to rot in the dark.
It's later that night, and Bakugou is shuffling back from the library where he attempted to study. It's been so hard to focus and even harder to focus in his own room when he can hear Kirishima through the thin walls of the dorm, laughing with whoever happens to be in his room. It used to be him in his room. Both of them crowded on Kirishima’s much too small bed, their shoulders pressed firm against each others as they watched movies on a laptop perched up on one of their laps.
Bakugou swallows hard, clearing the lump that forms at the memory.
Because that's what it is now.
Just a memory.
Bakugou doesn't do apologies. Everyone knows that.
But maybe if Kirishima would let him, maybe he could try.
No.
He pushes the idea out of his head. He knows that whatever he wants to say won't matter to Kirishima. He wasn't even torn up about them not being friends. Why should he even bother?
Clearly he was happier without him.
As he lays in bed, he can hear Kirishima through the walls. Denki is in there, he can tell by his obnoxious wheeze of a laugh and the idiot must make a joke because Kirishima suddenly chuckles. He is just about to put on his headphones to drown out noise that makes his heart ache, but then he hears Kirishima say his name.
Bakugou knows it's creepy and he knows it's a total invasion of privacy but he hasn't heard his name spoken by Kirishima in so long and all he wants is to hear it again. In an act of desperation and total pathetism, Bakugou shoves his ear against his wall, holding his breath in hopes to hear better.
"You've got to move on," Denki says.
There’s a sigh.
"I know and I'm trying but it's hard when I see him every day. I just wish..." Kirishima's voice may be muffled but Bakugou can tell he's started to cry.
It takes everything in him not to jump out of bed to go comfort him. He has to remember that they aren't friends anymore.
He presses his ear back to the wall.
"...but I loved him, I really loved him and he threw it back in my face."
Bakugou didn't think his heart could hurt anymore.
Apparently, he was wrong.
Tears well up in his own eyes as he reflects on their last conversation. The one where Bakugou accused him it having feelings. How was he supposed to know Kirishima had actually felt the same way he did. The fucking asshole was always going on and on about manly this manly that.
How the fuck was he supposed to know he was gay?
How was he supposed to know he was into Bakugou just like he was into him. Bakugou tried his hardest to be "normal" around him. Tried his hardest to keep himself from leaning against his bro for for too long. Tried his hardest to not let it slip how badly he wanted to hold hands with him, or how badly he wanted to kiss the stupid idiot.
Bakugou was pissed as he jumped up off his bed. Pissed that the fucking shitty haired love of his life had been wanting him and not only did Bakugou not have a clue, he also make him feel like he was gross or some shit by accident. He doesn't bother to put on shoes, doesn't bother to change out of the Crimson Riot pj bottoms that Kirishima left over one movie night, he just needs to see him
He pounds on Kirishima's door so hard he know it'll wake their neighbors but he doesn't give a fuck. Denki is the one that opens the door startled.
"Get the fuck out of here dunce face, I need to talk to Kirishima."
Denki straightens his shoulders, puffing his chest out. "Don't make me zap you," he threatens.
Bakugou leans in, his voice harsh and low. "If you don't get the fuck out of my way I will blast your entire body into pieces so small not even dental records will be able to identify you."
Denki gulps, and behind him Kirishima stands, crossing his arms.
"It's okay Denki, just go. I'll call you later."
When he leaves, Bakugou slams the door before turning on Kirishima who's busy wiping his eyes.
"What are you doing?” Kirishima snaps, “I thought I told you not to talk to me anymore."
"Fuck you." Bakugou spits out.
"Fuck me? No, fuck
you
" Kirishima says, his voice rising. "I don't have time for your shit anymore, get out of my room. I know you hate to be around people like me anyways, since you think we're so fucking disgusting. Go. Get out."
"No."
Kirishima looks at him, disbelief clear on his face. "Bakugou," his voice stronger, harsher. "Get out."
"No. Not until you listen to what the fuck I've got to say."
"I've already heard enough from you to last a lifetime."
"No you haven't asshole." Bakugou takes a deep breath, before saying in a rush, "imfuckinggayandimsorry."
Kirishima's jaw pops open.
"I didn't fucking know you were gay, you moron. I thought that you were straight and I didn't want to weird you out so I never said anything but I'm so fucking mad at you Kirishima."
Kirishima still doesn't seem to know how to speak so he goes on.
"How the fuck could you leave me? How could you just drop me like that. We we're supposed to be best friends a-a-and..." His vision gets blurred with the tears that are coming and he wipes them away quickly with his arm. He gulps in another huge lungful of air before going on. "This entire time, I've been holding back, afraid to tell you how dumb into you I am because I thought you would never feel the same. And I have to find out through the fucking wall??"
"...the wall?" Kirishima asked, confused.
"Shut up, doesn't matter. Are you even listening?"
Kirishima looks at Bakugou, really looks at him for the first time in weeks.
And he smiles at him.
It's so big and bright and sunny that Bakugou can feel the fresh wet of tears falling down his face.
After feeling nothing but cold, he can feel his bones warming up. He can feel himself defrosting under the heat of his sun.
Without another word, Kirishima opens his arms out, inviting Bakugou into him.
It's a little embarrassing since his confession and the fact that he's crying but he's missed him so bad he doesn't let himself think about it, he just let's himself be folded into his big stupid arms, inhaling his the scent of the dumb body spray he always uses, let's his hand grip the fabric of his t-shirt a little too tightly and just let's himself be held. Kirishima squeezes him tight and Bakugou thinks he might be saying sorry to him but he can't hear him over the sounds of his own crying. It's fucking embarrassing but he's so relieved to be here in Kirishima’s room in his arms that he can't stop. Kirishima pulls back to cradle his face, using his thumbs to wipe away Bakugou's tears even though he doesn't seem to be concerned with his own that are dripping steadily down his face.
"I've missed you so much, Kat."
And overcome with the knowledge that maybe he really did miss him, Bakugou squeezes the back of one if Kirishima's hands, pressing it harder to his own face.
Kirishima leans forward and presses his forehead against Bakugou's, their noses touching, recycling the air between them. They stay like that for a while, the weight that has been holding Bakugou down seemingly lifted off of his shoulders now that Kirishima finally knows the truth.
"Katsuki," Kirishima finally says.
"Yeah, Ei?"
"Can I kiss you?"
Bakugou presses his lips to Kirishima's in reply.
And maybe they won't figure everything out tonight, not with all the hurt shared between them, but at least for now, Bakugou will enjoy finally being able to kiss the boy he has always loved.
And bask in the warmth of his sun.