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Waving his friend goodbye, Matt watched as the car drove away. Lately Matt’s been going to and from school with his friend since everyone’s parents were pushing on trying to do as much carpooling as possible. And Matt happened to be the last stop whenever they were driving back.
But that also meant he was the first one they picked up for school. Matt hates that part of it since that means he has to be up early enough to be ready when they picked him up.
But today was a half day so maybe things weren’t all that bad.
He turned around. Quickly, he made his way home. Matt then took his backpack off once he made it to the door. Shuffling around one of the side pockets, he found his copy of the door key. Sure his family was well off enough, but they didn’t have any of those fancy locks his friends had. Heck not even the super fancy locks his brother’s employer has.
Matt was sure that a man as famous as that guy was sure to have super fancy locks. With like lasers to burn someone trying to get in when they’re not supposed to, and maybe a hundred guard dogs.
However Matt found the key at the bottom of the side pocket and knew it was time to go inside. It was nearing lunch, and his mom was sure enough in his abilities to make himself a sandwich and chips for lunch. Or maybe she secretly made him a lunch because she ‘forgot’ it was a half day again. His mom did like to do that a lot. ‘Forgetting’ about half days and still making him a lunch even though he could feed himself if he wanted to.
She was sure to give him the rundown on what to do when he got home this morning before he left, because she did not, in fact, ‘forgot’ that it was a half day.
Step one: unlock the door.
He did that.
Step two: enter the house, and relock the door.
He was currently doing that. Putting the key away, he stepped through. He closed the door and then turned the lock on the knob. It clicked.
Step three: make sure the windows are locked.
Checking the windows closest to him, Matt saw how each and every one of them were locked. Usually his routine would then follow like this. He makes his way to his room to put away his backpack, check the windows there, then move over to Terry’s room, and then their mom’s room. They didn’t have any hallway windows, but after checking the rooms, he would have to check the window in the bathroom. Because bathrooms have windows.
Matt never really understood why bathrooms had windows. After all, even if they had a curtain to make sure people don’t look in, they don’t really open it. Maybe it was like, some sort of safety thing. He didn’t know.
The house was empty as he stepped further into the living room. It looked pretty clean. Considering that Matt was like a tornado this morning. Or at least that’s what his mom said to him when she was putting the pillows back on the couch. And as he walked through the room, he saw that it was as clean as it always was.
Once he made it to his room, he sat his backpack down on his bed. Sure he’ll properly put it away later, but he had a duty to do. And then he’ll push any homework away until the last minute because homework was boring. Unless, of course, he actually was interested in what was going on.
Before he could properly take a look at his window, however, he heard it.
The shower. It was running.
Eyebrows furrowing together, Matt frowned. There shouldn’t be anyone else there. Just him. Or at least, he thinks so. His mom said that she had her normal hours at her job, and Terry…
Shouldn’t Terry be in school? Actually, Matt wasn’t sure if Terry had a half day like him. Mom would’ve told him if that was the case. Then she probably would’ve made Terry go take him to lunch or something.
Wanting to get to the bottom of it, Matt left his room.
He walked as silently as he could. Skipping both Terry’s and their mom’s room, Matt creeped his way to the bathroom. The door was closed. The shower was definitely running.
His hand hovered on the doorknob for that brief moment as memories of that hunter guy kidnapping him flew through his mind. He shook his head. Matt was going to turn ten years old that year. There was no way someone so close to turning to the big double digits was going to let something like a past kidnapping get them down. Besides, just because he was kidnapped once before doesn’t mean it was going to happen again.
And even if it did, Batman was going to save him. Just like last time.
With newfound confidence, Matt quietly opened the door.
Time seemed to have slowed down. The shower turned off. The person in there had their back to him.
Breath hitching, Matt saw all the scars that littered the person’s bare back. Some were jagged, others smooth. Large and small. One pair even looked an awful lot like… bat wings. Somehow. (It might’ve been because he was talking about Batman all morning with his friends and the latest fight, and so bats were on his mind.)
There were so many. And the leftover water from the shower somehow made them look all the more real.
“Matt!” Terry’s voice yanked him away.
Sharply looking up, Matt found Terry’s face turned to him. Terry, who was standing in the bathroom. Terry, who all those scars belonged to. Terry, even though he was looking at him, had his body twisted away, so only the back was shown.
But even then Terry was wrapping one of their red towels around him.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in school?”
It took a moment to register that Terry spoke to him. Was… was he trying to act as if everything was fine? As if Matt didn’t see the scars? And as Matt stared at Terry, he saw how some of the scars went around his brother’s arms and legs.
Was that… was that a bite on his leg? A bite from something with large, sharp teeth?
Images filled his head. Of Terry getting stabbed. Terry getting slashed. Burned. Shot at. Bitten. Nearly torn apart.
(Their mom told him that he shouldn’t watch horror movies, but he didn’t listen. And now all these grotesque ways his brother could’ve died filled his mind with blood and gore. His mind wouldn’t simply stop.)
“Terry what happened?!” Matt practically screamed.
Immediately Terry rushed forward. One hand was on the towel. The other… was softly pulling Matt’s hands away from their death grip on the door.
“Hey, breathe with me okay?” Terry said.
It had sounded far away…
There was a hand on his chest. Matt sharply took a breath. He didn’t know he stopped breathing.
“In.” Terry breathed in loudly.
“Out.” He breathed out loudly.
Matt tried to breathe.
“Come on Matty, follow me. In. Out.”
Why was it so hard to see?
He felt the fluffy touch of a towel underneath his hand. It was rising and falling in a rhythmic pattern. Matt tried to breathe with it.
“That’s right. You’re doing a good job. Just keep on breathing with me.
Suddenly, Matt was aware that he was sobbing. But he was breathing. He needed to breathe. He needed to do it in time with Terry.
Ever so slowly did he go to the rhythm Terry created. The tears didn’t stop. But he could breathe better.
A thumb went to wipe his face.
Terry.
“That’s great.” He said. “You’re doing great.”
No he wasn’t. He wasn’t doing great. Terry was a liar. Terry was always a liar.
Matt cried harder.
Terry pulled him into a hug.
He couldn’t help but wrap his arms around his big brother. Around the towel. Separating him from the scars.
A large hand was rubbing soothing circles on his back.
“Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay Matty.” Terry lied again. “Everything’s okay.”
At this Matt found his voice again. “N-No it’s, it’s not! You’re-you-you huge big fat liar!”
His head fell onto his brother’s shoulder. It felt rough… and indented slightly.
Like another scar.
How many did Terry have ?
“You’re hurt!” Matt wailed. “Your hurt and you could’ve died!” Because those scars were many. Because those scars could reach deep.
The hug grew tighter.
“I know.” Terry whispered. “I know and I’m sorry.”
If his brother was really sorry, he should’ve told him. Brothers told each other about these things right? Then why didn’t he tell him?
Many thoughts and questions whirled around his head. But all the while his crying began to die down to mere sniffles. He wasn’t sure if being held by his brother as Terry rubbed his back was comforting or not.
After what felt like ages, Matt slowly pulled away. Terry let him.
Matt… Matt felt gross. He could feel how puffy his eyes were. How they stung when he both open and closed them. His throat felt like gunk was in it and it stung too. But most importantly, Matt felt tired.
He felt as tired as Terry looked.
It was probably the first time in a while Matt actually got to look close at Terry’s face. There were bags under his eyes. His skin looked pale. There was something else that Matt couldn’t put his finger on… and then there was the way Terry was staring at him…
“You feeling better?” Terry asked, voice incredibly soft.
Was he feeling better?
Matt shrugged.
Terry breathed heavily through his nose. Almost as if he sighed through it. “Okay. How about you go to the living room and I’ll be over in a minute.”
Matt… will allow this. “Okay.” He whispered. Just talking made his voice feel sore.
And even though Matt agreed to this, he felt reluctant to leave. He left nonetheless.
His feet felt like lead. His ears caught the soft click of the bathroom door. In his head, it echoed around.
Ages, or mere seconds, passed by and the next thing he knew, he was sitting down on the couch.
Terry was probably getting dressed.
Matt was alone with him.
He buried his head into his arms as he curled up into a ball.
Now that he had time to reflect what had happened… just what was wrong with him? Why did he freak out like that? It never happened before. Not when he was kidnapped, so why was this…?
He hated how the tears were starting to well up again.
Fabric rustling. The seat next to him dipping down.
“Matt?” Terry’s voice called out to him, so quietly.
A bit hesitant, he turned his head just enough to look out from his arms. Terry was clothed with what he usually wears. Just without the jacket. Looking closer, he could see how it all covered everything. The pants, the shirt with sleeves just long enough that nothing would be seen if Terry stretched. Even with his shirt collar, nothing will be shown.
No wonder Matt didn’t know that there was anything wrong.
“Why… why do you…?” Matt finally tried to say.
“Have scars?” Terry finished for him.
He wasn’t sure why, but he flinched. A moment passed. He nodded. “… yeah.” His voice sounded weak, even to his own ears.
“Well,” Terry started, “you know how I go out for errands for Mr. Wayne?”
His face pinched up. “Yeah?”
“Sometimes… sometimes I get in a tight spot. You know how the Jokerz like to make things ‘fun’ for everyone. And things just sort of… spiral from there.”
Why did his head hurt trying to piece the puzzle together? Because… because there was so much. Does that mean Terry got… got tortured when he got into ‘tight spots’ with the Jokerz? How long has this been happening? And how many errands did Terry do that got him in that sort of mess? It’s true the gang goes randomly around, but…
He wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep thinking about it. He thinks maybe he wants to stop thinking about it. All Matt knew was that he was tired.
Unfurling himself, Matt slowly went in to hug his brother. He was really tired. His head and heart hurt. Matt made sure his grip on his brother was soft. And as he buried his face into his brother’s shirt, he said, “please don’t die.”
Because he knows that out of everything he’s unsure about, he absolutely positively doesn’t want his brother to leave. Not like the way their dad did.
Warm arms bring him closer. Strong arms. Arms that can protect Matt, but not himself apparently. “I won’t. I promise.” A kiss on top of Matt’s head.
Together they stayed like that… just holding one another. And as Matt lets the darkness of sleep take over, he thinks that even if Terry was a liar, he makes that promise sound like a truth.
Terry sighed as Matt conks out. It’s been one heck of an emotional… ten minutes? Fifteen? He wasn’t going to lie, it felt like an eternity no matter how long it actually lasted.
Terry was completely surprised by the fact that Matt was home early. He didn’t remember their mom telling him about it, but to be fair he was kind of zoning out whenever he got a chance to talk to their mom lately. Being Batman and catching up on homework does a number on a guy.
But the reason Terry was home early? Simple. One of the chemistry classes did something only out of cheesy high school movies. Terry hadn’t heard much details, but because of the chemistry class, it was found out that some of the structure of the school was starting to deteriorate. Terry knew the school was old but come on. So now the school was closed until further notice. For inspection. Terry wouldn’t be surprised if they would give some emails or phone calls by the end of the week giving an update on the situation and talk about where students could go to continue their schooling.
On one hand Terry wanted to investigate the situation but on the other he was grateful for more time on his English project. He planned on calling Bruce on his opinion after he ate some lunch. After all, one can’t go investigating on an empty stomach. But then Terry got home, took his shower, and this happened.
He just hopes he didn’t mentally scar Matt.
A snort left him at the thought. Scar.
Matt was a tough kid. But this? It was worse than when Terry was there with their mom to inform him what had happened… what had happened to their dad. Terry thanked God with the fact that Matt wasn’t there to see their dad’s body. Terry did and… and he felt like he was going to puke. That his whole world was playing a sick prank on him.
But Matt didn’t and Terry was so thankful. And Matt was… was in shock. Eventually he cried once the news finally got through. However this… this was a panic attack if he ever saw one. Unfortunately Terry didn’t have much experience with helping someone get out of it. He wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t scare him. Terry was terrified. And so was Matt.
Maybe their dad’s death left a larger, deeper scar within Matt than previously thought.
Humming, Terry began to think. That perhaps… perhaps Matt should go to a therapist. Terry has enough money tucked away for it. He could ask Bruce and Commissioner Gordon if they know any good ones. Preferably none that turn out to be Spellbinder. Or someone like him.
Finally a decision was made. With that decision in mind, Terry gently picked his little brother up. Just holding the child in his arms reminded him just how small Matt was. So small… so light. And unfortunately living in Gotham taught him some harder lessons earlier in life than he should. However Terry knew he really shouldn’t blame the city, as there were plenty of children throughout the world who goes through with this and yet… and yet he couldn’t help it. If the city was a little less corrupt… if Batman hadn’t originally retire… if Bruce didn’t let Powers take over Wane Enterprises…
Shaking his head, he dispelled such thoughts. At this point he knew what happens to those who don’t let go of the past in a healthy way. He’s seen it plenty of times. He knows what it does to people. Neither he nor Matt needed that.
Hell, Gotham didn’t need that.
Quietly, Terry carried Matt to his room. With a gentle push of his foot, the door opened all the way.
The light was turned off. However the curtains weren’t closed. Afternoon light filtered through and Terry saw how Matt left his backpack on his bed. He softly sighed through his nose at that.
Shifting Matt to one arm, he carefully moved the backpack next to the bed. He nodded to himself. Terry pulled back the slightly wrinkled sheets.
Looked like their mom made Matt’s bed again before she left.
Oh so gently did he lower Matt into his bed. And oh so gently he unwrapped Matt’s arms from him. After a moment staring at his brother’s dried tear tracks, Terry took off his brother’s shoes. He then pulled the blankets up to Matt’s head. He went to brushed any stray hair away from Matt’s eyes and tried to wipe away the tear tracks. It felt like they were stained onto the child’s cheeks.
Terry stepped away. Walking over to the windows, he doubled checked to see if they were locked. Satisfied to see that they were, he closed the curtains.
The room darkened.
He walked to the door. He stopped. Going back to his brother once more, Terry leaned down to give Matt a kiss on the forehead.
With that, he left the room.
And as the door softly clicked behind him, Terry became glad that Matt didn’t get a chance to see the scars he had on his chest.