Chapter Text
Work, rinse, repeat.
Work, rinse, repeat.
Everything was the same over and over everyday, working 5 days a week, Monday through Friday, barely having a chance to do things he actually enjoyed on the weekends. His life ran it’s course like a spiraling drain, looping around and around until days started to blend together and Josh didn’t remember if it was Friday or Monday.
When his coworker, Chris, first recommended that Josh listened to his band, he didn’t think much of it, often times there isn’t a significant impression left from listening to label-less, naked discs burnt from someone’s laptop in their garages.
Working at Guitar Center meant that he frequently had strangers pushing their own promotions onto him, inviting him to shows, and offering him demos of songs.
He never listened to them. Not because he thought they were bad, even though they mostly were, but because he was frequently listening to so much music in his spare time, taking inspiration from everything he heard, marveling at all the different things people did with sounds, he was kind of particular with what he chose to subject his ear holes to.
But here Josh was; sitting at home, empty envelope in his hands, with the name ‘twenty one pilots’ scribbled in sharpie on the front, completely enraptured by the songs he was listening to.
The first one he heard was called “Time To Say Goodbye” and the moment he heard the singing begin, he felt goosebumps break out along his arms. He couldn’t quiet describe it...but there was something different about this music. Something that made his heart feel warm and tight under his ribcage and his limbs feel heavy like lead.
He paced around his room while he listened. The lyrics were so complex and spoken so quickly, he had to replay it a few times so he could really hear and understand them. The way the man sang, it was almost like rapping, but it sounded more like aggressively reading poetry with instruments added in the background, it flowed together so incredibly well. It spoke to his soul, the writer knew how to perfectly describe anxiety and thoughts of darkness in a way that was perplexingly poetic.
There were only three songs, but Josh repeated the whole disc about 8 times in a row, his fingers quickly picking up on the tempo and tapping along to the drum beats as he continued to pace around his room. Anxiety slipped away into the rhythms and melodies as he attempted to drum along with his hands.
He was hooked. He always wanted to be a part of a musical project that really meant something. His life was so boring, so stagnant in this tiny town of Ohio. Nothing important or grand ever happened here and Josh felt like he might start clawing for a desperate escape if something didn’t change soon. But there was this inclination in his gut that said this music playing in front of him was going to be incredibly important. It felt and sounded like what he had always been searching for in a project.
And he wanted to be a part of it.
•
Josh was soon invited to a show of Chris’s, he loved going to shows, watching music played live always brought him into another state of mind, away from his often crushing anxiety and overthinking, it inspired him to keep practicing his own musical instruments.
He had been listening to twenty one pilots repeatedly for the last 3 weeks, so needless to say he was ecstatic, if not also a little fretful.
He had been telling Chris how amazing the songs were, how unique and cool he thought they sounded, how the lyrics were some of the most beautiful poetry he’d ever heard. It’s all the two really talked about at work anymore. He felt a little bit like an annoying fan and he hoped his friend appreciated the enthusiasm. Chris laughed and told Josh how he would pass along the compliments to Tyler, who he learned was the person behind the singing and songwriting and was responsible for the initial forming of the band.
Chris explained to him how Tyler and the other band member named Nick, who performed bass, met in high school through basketball and how Tyler wrote and recorded an album on his own prior to actually forming twenty one pilots, now the three of them were working on their first full length album.
“How did you meet Tyler?” Josh asked Chris at one point during a shift as they stocked general merchandise near the registers.
“We were at a party together and I played drums, Tyler really liked my talent and we talked about the idea of working together. He and Nick had been messing around with music in Tyler’s basement, it was a pretty mediocre set up, but the talent that Tyler has really showed even with what limited software he had at the time.”
Josh was so interested, his brows furrowed slightly as Chris continued,
”So yeah, now he, Nick and I are all staying together at my place, working on more stuff. We already have most of that EP finished. When Tyler first saw my studio, he got so excited, oh man it was so funny haha.”
Chris chuckles and pulls out his phone, showing Josh a photo.
“Here is one of the first times we all played together, it was such a small crowd but Tyler has so much energy on stage, he puts on a heck of a show and is amazing to perform with.”
Josh looks at the image and sees his friend Chris, standing next to two other dudes. One guy is lanky and tall and wears glasses and the other is a bit shorter with tan skin and short brown hair.
Chris points to the shorter man to indicate Tyler.
He was kinda dorky looking. Now that he had a face to a name Josh tries to picture Tyler being excited about recording equipment and it makes him smile.
Chris tucks his phone away in his pocket and continues, “Hey, so we are playing at the New Port Music Hall next Tuesday if you want to come and I can introduce you to the other guys.”
Josh’s eyes lit up. “Oh wow! Yes I would love to!”
Chris smiles, “Awesome I can get you a free ticket.” Josh begins to respond but another coworker comes up to him, asking if he could help a customer with some drums. Josh gives a nod to Chris and walks away with the other coworker.
•
Josh totally forgot he was scheduled to work that Tuesday night, cursing his stupidity he knew he had to get out of his shift somehow.
He calls his job up and explains how he was feeling "Horribly sick." He even coughs dramatically and they seem to buy it. He hangs up the phone and tries to decide what to wear from his assortment of skinny jeans and graphic print shirts. His heart pounded with excitement like a first date.
Josh was in a local Ohio bar called the New Port Music Hall, just a few blocks from where he and Chris worked.
He decided on wearing a black band tee and had straightened his hair, he hoped he looked okay. The venue was pretty small and empty at the moment, Josh wouldn’t have guessed that a band was supposed to be playing in less than an hour if he wasn’t actually invited himself.
He was nervous while handing the ticket to the usher, suddenly scared that maybe his ticket wouldn’t work for some bizarre reason and then he would awkwardly walk back to his car and go home to play his drums alone in his room.
Entry was a breeze, the guard shrugging and barely looking at his ID and ticket. Josh stands by the bar, ordering a lager and looking around the venue space. A few girls came up to him to talk, but he mostly sipped his beer and stayed close to the wall, out of the crowd.
When the band finally came onto the dark stage, Josh immediately recognized his friend Chris, positioning himself behind the drum set, then a taller dude who he realized was Nick walking with his guitar over to the left side of the stage. And that left Tyler to appear.
Josh’s eyes searched the darkness for him, he wanted to see him perform so badly, he couldn’t describe the urgency of seeing this guy in person, but he just felt so inspired and at the very least wanted to let him know how talented he thought he was.
Suddenly the lights flashed on and a small figure in a white hoodie came walking out onto stage. He seemed nervous and a bit awkward but had a firey confidence about him that Josh instantly felt impressed by, Tyler making his way to the keyboard with determination.
Nick began to drum as Tyler played the keys with exuberance, his head bobbing so hard Josh feared he would hit himself on the microphone.
He started to sing and his voice was even more incredible in person, he could feel the power and emotion behind every single cyllable. Josh was entranced. He didn’t recognize the song but he felt himself lost in Tyler’s performance energy. The crowd, even as small as it was, was soaking it all up too and jumping around.
Tyler tripped over a cord and Josh felt himself hold his own breath, but the recovery was seamless, Tyler shaking his own head as he rolled onto his side to buffer his stumble. He rose back up and continued on like it was all part of the performance.
Tyler had enough gusto of a five man band as he ran around the stage, jumping and dancing all the while singing with strenght.
Nick and Chris were doing good too and Josh tore his focus a few times from the lead singer to appreciate their performances, but they were lack luster compared to Tyler who stole his attention back time and time again through the night.
Josh marveled at the amount of energetic talent and vulnerability Tyler had.
Josh wished he could be like that.
To go up onto a stage and just give as much energy as he's got. To not care about messing up. To not let his own anxiety dictate his actions. Maybe he could be like that someday.
Josh felt his hand bouncing against his leg to the drumbeats as he pretended to play along. He couldn’t help it.
He watched Chris drum and wished it was him up there instead. What a terrible friend he was, wanting to take that from him.
Mind yourself, Joshua, there is no way you could make it to that position, respect your friend and what he has.
Tyler ran over to Nick at one point, feet moving so fast as he danced to his own music that they became a blur and he screamed into the microphone. Then he grabbed a keytar that seemed to pop up out of thin air, jumped on top of one of the drum stands, flailing around exuberantly as he played and it was sort of ridiculous, but Josh loved every moment of it.
They played a slower song, the keyboard thrumming slowly into each note while Tyler sang into the microphone. Then the piano riff began and Josh felt his heart nearly stop as Tyler wailed a long and powerful note.
"Wow." Josh couldn't help but say and god he wished the people around him would stop talking and listen to this.
The song crecended powerfully into a drum breakdown, getting quieter then Tyler spoke into the microphone for the first time.
“Hey everyone, thanks for coming out to see us. We love you Ohio. Hope you’re all having a good time.” His voice was breathy and cracked slightly. He flashed a small smile out into the crowd and Josh and him locked eyes for a moment.
The show continued, the crowd growing steadily, although most people seemed to be here strictly for drinking, not paying much mind to the performers now, too soon Tyler and the rest of the guys were thanking the crowd for a final time and the lights were shutting off again.
Josh was unsure of where to go or what to do all of a sudden, people were pushing into him and he felt suffocated. He was able to wiggle his way through the drunken sweaty mass and saw Chris up against the wall of the bar, motioning to him.
He felt a wave of relief at seeing a familiar face but then noticed Nick and Tyler beside him and remembered he had to make a good first impression moreover Josh was suddenly anxious beyond belief.
There was so much he wanted to say to Tyler, so much he wanted to convey. He ran over his words in his head repeatedly as he made his way towards the other guys.
Its okay, it will be okay. Just introduce yourself, it's just like talking in front of a class, which he never could do anyway and would end up barfing in the school bathroom.
Oh god.
He couldn’t do this.
So all of a sudden Chris was talking to him, apparently introducing him to Nick who offered his hand which Josh shook loosely, he hoped his palm wasn’t too sweaty. Then Chris motioned to Tyler and Josh bit at his lip piercing anxiously as he tried to smile, gripping the other man’s out stretched hand maybe a little too tightly.
Tyler gave a small nod, leaning into the hand shake and speaking above the noise around them. “So you’re the crazy fan, huh?” He says through a small smirk.
Josh laughs softly, “Uh, y-yeah, I guess considering I’ve been listening to you guys on repeat every day for the past couple weeks, I would say Imma fan, hope I’m not too crazy though.” Tyler gives a small laugh and squeezes his hand gently, he hadn’t realized they were still shaking them.
That’s awkward.
Josh releases his grip and coughs. He tries to relax.
It’s getting louder in the venue, as the bar starts to fill up with even more people now and Nick suggests they all make their way outside.
•
Josh finally feels like he can breath, although the sudden space and view of the starlit night is a little dizzying. He blinks.
The four men are walking towards the parking lot, Nick is asking something to Chris and Josh shoves his hands in his pockets, eyes to the ground as he tries to steady his anxious thinking.
He feels someone come up beside him and is a little startled when Tyler speaks to him. “Did you enjoy the show?”
Josh looks up briefly, the other man also had his hands in his tight jean pockets, face flushed and semi-sweaty still from their performing.
Josh clears his throat, “Uh, yeah, I mean, it was incredible. You guys have some of the best music I have ever heard and I’ve heard a lot of music.”
Josh curses to himself mentally thinking that he sounded like he was trying way too hard to flatter them.
Tyler just gives a small chuckle, “Awe, well thanks, that's really cool to hear.”
They continue down the dark July street, Nick and Chris slightly ahead of them.
“Are you from here?” Tyler asks. “Yeah.”
Josh explains where he grew up and where he went to school. Tyler tells him how he was mostly homeschooled and his Dad was a pastor, his Mom a teacher.
The two of them catch up to Chris and Nick, the other band members were sitting next to their cars in a patch of grass, illuminated harshly by a street light.
Tyler plops down beside Nick and looks over to Josh as a silent invitation to sit beside him.
Josh is grateful to feel included.
Now that he can see Tyler in the light more, he notices how his skin tone was a sort of tan caramel color, Josh thought it was really pretty actually. He also notices he has a rubber band on his left wrist and can't help wondering why.
“Does anyone want a cider?” Asks Nick, distracting Josh from staring at Tyler, Nick offers a can to Chris who takes it and pops it open.
Nick reaches one out towards Josh and he takes the lukewarm metal in his hand. He notices that Tyler gives Nick a small frown and shakes his head.
Josh looks to him, “You don’t want one?” He didn’t want Tyler to feel excluded as Josh often did in social situations.
Tyler glances to him, shaking his head. “Nah I don’t drink that.” He gets up as he says this and retrieves something from his car, a box of Red Bull, he sees.
Josh looks at his own can of cider and second guesses if he wants it now as well. “This is my vice.” Tyler says when he returns, holding a can up to his face. “It gives you wings.” He says in a silly low pitched voice and Josh feels his face break into a grin.
Tyler offers him a can and Josh says, “Yeah, I think I’d prefer that too.”
He sets the unopened cider down in the grass and pops the top of the energy drink. It tastes awful and he awkwardly chokes it down, trying to hide from Tyler that this wasn’t something he often drank. Maybe he was trying too hard. Josh doesn't think about it too much.
“You sure you wanna drink that right now Tyler?” Nick asks him as he gulps the stuff down like it’s water. “It’s like twelve fourty-five.” Tyler shrugs, “Ah, I have tracks to work on anyways, so.”
“Do you play music, Josh?” Nick asks as he takes a sip of cider. Josh nods, “Yeah I, uh, I taught myself drums from a young age.” Josh reluctantly sips more of his own drink.
“I played trumpet quite a bit in high school too” Nick nods, “Chris here has told me you’re a pretty great drummer, he's heard you playing around on the demo kits at Guitar Center.” Josh laughs, feeling his face flush slightly, good going Chris for talking me up, he scratches the back of his head and adjusts in the grass to lean himself back more comfortably.
“Well I love drumming, I usually will play along to songs I like. I was in a band called House of Heroes, and I helped write some stuff. it was fun but I ended up needing to work more and we kinda just split ways...”
They continue chatting in the parking lot and Tyler mentions how the three of them are going to be hanging out Saturday for pizza and video games and they invite Josh to join them. Josh remembers in the back of his conscious how he had something planned with his younger brother, but he eagerly accepts anyway and would explain it off to him later.
“I would love to hear you drum, dude. You could try out Chris’s nice set and play to some of our songs, just for fun if you wanted.” Says Tyler, rubbing his chin and bouncing his knee, probably a result of the caffeine.
Josh feels his own face flush again, the idea of being able to play Tyler’s songs with him made his heart speed up. He’d love to share in that incredible energy the guy has. He keeps wanting to tell Tyler how talented he thought he was but the right words were still caught in his throat.
“Oh man, I’ll-I’ll start practicing right away.” Says Josh, the taste of the Red Bull beginning to grow on him. “My favorite song so far is The Pantaloon, I love the beat. Although I’m not quite sure what the lyrics are about...” Tyler laughs loudly, his face scrunching up and Josh notices how his bottom row of teeth are crooked. He likes noticing small things about Tyler.
“Maybe if you prove yourself at Smash Bros I’ll let you in on the secrets of my mind.” Josh returns the smile, “Sounds like a challenge.” Tyler grins mischievously behind his can of energy drink as he finishes it off.
They chat more about high school and music. Chris and Nick eventually convince the bouncy Tyler that it's time to go home and he tells Josh goodnight, bringing him into an awkward side hug before jumping up out of the grass and towards their car.
Nick and Chris wave goodbyes and Tyler turns to flash a bright smile at Josh as he says, “Goodnight! Great meeting you man!”
Josh watches their car lights blink out into the dark street. As he sits still in the lamp light on the cool grass, he looks up at the stars. His body feels tingly and he doesn’t know if it's from the Red Bull or from Tyler's incredible concert, but he has the image of his crooked toothed smile in his head all night and Josh can’t stop smiling to himself.