Chapter Text
Wakatoshi is 8 when he meets his best friend.
———
Wakatoshi closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. They had moved seats today, and while normally that wasn’t an issue, he had been put in the back again and also had been put next to quite the distracting seatmate. Wakatoshi did not dislike any of his classmates (and even if he did, he had been taught not to display that sort of thing), but if the boy next to him tossed, then dropped, his pencil one more time Wakatoshi might be moved to drastic action. He didn’t know the boy very well, and Wakatoshi could understand the urge to toss, he had felt the urge before. Normally it was when he had a volleyball in his hands of course, but to each their own. Still it wasn’t-
The pencil clatters onto the desk again and Wakatoshi lets out another, fairly aggressive, breath. He tries once more to focus on what the teacher is saying. He has never faced much trouble with school, and yes he has tutors who helped him, but he would rather pay attention to the teacher and do his work than be overconfident and risk his grades. His mother had already voiced her disapproval with the idea of a normal elementary school and he didn’t need to give her reason to pull him out when his father had already tried so hard to get him there. His brow furrows as he thought of them, was that a normal argument for parents?
The boy picks the pencil up again and for a blessed moment Wakatoshi thinks he is actually going to start writing with it and stop distracting him from the lesson. He lets out a sigh of relief and begins doing the problems on the worksheet, if he works quickly now he can catch up to the teacher.
Then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees something spinning in the air. That was it.
Wakatoshi turns and snatches the pencil out of the air. Catching it right before it landed on the desk again. The other boy turns, eyes wide, bowl cut swishing, and Wakatoshi realizes he had never gotten a proper look at the boy next to him.
The boys eyes were already fairly large, but with the way they had widened in surprise at Wakatoshi’s sudden movement it felt like they took up half his face. His irises were as red as his hair, which was cut in one of the roundest bowl cuts Wakatoshi had ever seen. His mouth was slightly open from the surprise of Wakatoshi’s arm suddenly appearing in front of him and snatching his pencil from his grasp. His face was almost as round as his hair, and Wakatoshi wonders briefly what it would feel like to poke one of his cheeks.
He blinks in surprise at that last thought.
Still, that slight movement seemed to be enough to knock the other boy out of his daze and his face immediately shifts to one of utter glee.
“Hey!” The other boy half yells, making Wakatoshi wince because they were still in a classroom, something the other boy does not seem to mind. “I totally had it that time, you ruined it!”
The boy’s words do not match his smile or his tone, and Wakatoshi knows other kids could be confusing but this definitely took the cake. The boy’s eyes seem almost laser focused on him as he continues to babble about how he ‘definitely was going to catch it this time!’ And that ‘now his focus was ruined!’ Smile going strong the entire time. And, it was difficult to make Wakatoshi uncomfortable, but he was starting to understand why others had trouble with maintaining eye contact.
“Boys!” The teacher’s voice rang out through the class, and both boys stiffen in surprise and turned towards the teacher. He sighs at their startled expressions and puts his hands on his hips. “Are you two done talking or would you like for me to wait until you finish your conversation to continue the lesson?”
Wakatoshi was unused to feeling embarrassed but he had experienced many new things in the past few minutes, so the feeling of his ears burning as he shakes his head isn’t quite a surprise.
The other boy also seemed to be a little embarrassed but was much better at hiding it than Wakatoshi. Shooting an “okay” sign at their teacher, who sighs again but moves to continue the lesson. Then he glances at the boy next to him again and raises an eyebrow.
“Satori are you going to continue on the worksheet with the rest of the class?” The teacher asks, the bit of resignation in his tone implying he knows the answer.
“Well you see,” The boy, now Satori, begins and Wakatoshi has a feeling he’s about to be pulled into this. The fact he’s still holding onto Satori’s pencil completely unrelated.
Maybe a little related.
“I was gonna do the worksheet teach, but it seems my pencil’s been kidnapped,” Satori continues, gesturing to where Wakatoshi still had his pencil in his grip.
Wakatoshi sends him a betrayed look. Satori just grins back at him. The teacher sighs again and looks at Wakatoshi, leveling him with the full force of his disappointment. Wakatoshi feels his ears burn a little hotter as the class shifts their gaze to him as well.
“Wakatoshi I understand wanting to have fun with your friends but please save it for after class. You wouldn’t want to distract Satori too much would you?”
Wakatoshi shakes his head and drops Satori’s pencil on his desk like it burned him. He can tell Satori was grinning at him still but he elects to ignore this. He begins writing on the worksheet, determined to catch up with the class and ignore Satori for the rest of the class.
The teacher shakes his head but continues with the lesson. Satori is still grinning at him, but Wakatoshi dedicates himself to the lesson, determined not to fall prey to Satori's distractions again.
Wakatoshi manages to avoid getting distracted by Satori until lunch.
There isn’t much opportunity to avoid Satori during lunch, unless he wants to outright ignore him. But that felt like it would be a little too harsh. They also sat next to each other, so it was only a matter of Satori turning his desk to face Wakatoshi before they ate.
“So!” Satori begins, jumping up in his seat a bit, red hair swishing with the movement.
Wakatoshi blinks at him, taking a bite of his own food. Satori stares back at him expectantly.
“Okay I’ll start!” The boy continues, and Wakatoshi feels like he missed something. “My name is Satori Tendou! But you can just call me Satori!” The boy stares at him for another second before continuing, “And what’s your name?”
“My name is Wakatoshi Ushijima,” Wakatoshi replies blandly, wondering what the point of this conversation was.
“That’s a cool name!” Satori responds, and before Wakatoshi can thank him, he continues. “How did you grab the pencil out of the air like that!”
“I closed my hand in time. You didn’t,” Wakatoshi replies calmly, not reacting to the fact Satori is now leaning across his desk to get as close to Wakatoshi’s face as possible. “So it was just bouncing out,” Satori blinks at him, “Of your hand.” Wakatoshi finishes, taking another bite of his food.
“Oh!” Satori exclaims, sitting back in his seat, bangs swinging with the movement. Wakatoshi wonders if any part of him ever remains still. Can you do it then?”
Wakatoshi nods, still chewing.
“Awesome!” Satori hands him a pencil, “Show me now!”
Wakatoshi nods again and takes the pencil, swallowing his food before he tosses the pencil. He holds the end of the pencil and gives it a little flick, watching it spin in the air, then stopping the spin and catching it in his hand. Satori looks utterly delighted by this and immediately calls for him to do it again. Wakatoshi obliges, this time putting more force behind the flick so the pencil goes higher. Satori laughs happily at this, and Wakatoshi can feel his lips attempt to lift a bit at the sound.
“Again!” Satori calls, clapping when Wakatoshi does it again, the pencil going higher than last time. “That’s so cool Wakatoshi!”
Wakatoshi does not consider this very cool, but the look on Satori’s face is happy enough he’s willing to reconsider.
He tosses the pencil again, watching as it goes high enough it looks like it might hit the ceiling. It reaches it peak without interference though, and begins to fall back down, still spinning. Wakatoshi opens his hand and prepares to catch it.
The pencil never comes.
He looks down at his hand in surprise, eyes crinkling at the edges in confusion. There, right above his hand, is Satori’s hand.
Holding the pencil.
Wakatoshi looks back up at Satori, brows furrowed. Satori smiles back at him, eyes back to the full intensity they reached earlier.
Satori turns his hand over and places the pencil back in Wakatoshi’s hand, closing his fingers over the pencil. And Wakatoshi knew he ran a bit warm but Satori’s fingers were freezing , and Satori’s eyes relaxed a bit, the smile turning a bit softer.
“I think we’re going to be very good friends.”
Wakatoshi stares back at him uneasily.
+++++
He’s 11 years old when he realizes Satori might not just be his best friend.
———
Wakatoshi is ashamed to admit that he is avoiding Satori.
It’s not because of anything Satori had done! If anything it was completely Wakatoshi’s fault, if this was something that you could fault someone for.
It seemed Satori had impressive skills in predicting the future because true to his words, he and Wakatoshi had become good friends after meeting several years before, sharing their mutual interest in volleyball, and Satori unsuccessfully attempting to get Wakatoshi into manga. They had also managed to remain in the same class over time, and it wouldn’t be inaccurate to say Satori was his best friend.
But here Wakatoshi was, covering class chores for another boy in their class so he wouldn’t have to sit with Satori during lunch.
He feels the same burn in his chest and clenches the stack of papers in his hands tighter.
“Wakatoshi?” The girl walking with him, Misaki Hana, he thinks, asks softly. Wakatoshi looks up, clearing his face to try not to show he was distracted.
“We’re… here already,” she gestures to the office door in front of them. “You were pretty zoned out there, are you okay?”
Wakatoshi’s first instinct is to deny everything and brush it off, like he had for Satori recently. Then he thinks about the look Satori had been giving him when he told Satori he was fine. He takes a deep breath.
“I think I will be,” he nods at her in appreciation, “But thank you for asking.”
She smiles back at him, dropping the papers in the room and walking back to the door. She waits as he gently places his papers on the desk in front of him.
“Well if you ever need to talk I’ll be here!” She tilts her head as her smile grows, and her hair swings and falls nicely as he walks over to her.
Her brown hair is cut in a bob and Wakatoshi thinks it compliments her face well. Her smile is nice to look at, and she adds hair clips and pins to make her uniform look nicer. Objectively he knows she’s cute, she’s well spoken, and from what he remembers from class she answers questions often and gets good grades on exams.
But still his mind wanders to obnoxiously red hair and a bowl cut and a smile that’s almost always missing a tooth. He thinks of a smile so wide it looks like it’s about to split the persons face in half, of a kind of bad personality, and intense, analytical, red eyes.
They begin walking back to class, and Wakatoshi clenches and relaxes his fists, restless, wondering if he should actually talk to her. He didn’t know her that well, only remembered her name from how often she’s called on and because they’ve been in the same class for a few years.
Still, it isn’t as if he has many other people he could talk to about this, because normally it would be Satori. And well, this time he can’t go to Satori.
He takes a deep breath and turns his head to look at Misaki, whose eyes are open and expectant. Waiting for him to begin. He tries to think of the proper way of putting it.
“What do you do if you can’t stop thinking about someone?”
Her face turns a little red at his question, and he wonders if maybe that wasn’t the way he should have put it.
“In what way do you mean?” She asks, obviously trying to overcome her surprise and encourage him to continue. He chews his lip and stops walking.
“No matter what I do, my thoughts always seem to come back to Satori.” He explains, trying to stop himself from showing any other nervous habits.
Her eyes widen and her face turns red again, and he catches her quietly repeat “ Satori?” He hurriedly continues.
“I’m not sure why, because we’ve always been,” he tries to find the word for it, “close? But I’ve never really experienced anything… like this.” He looks up at her, eyes unsure.
“W-well,” her face turns determined, and encouraging, and Wakatoshi wonders what threw her off in the first place. “Do you feel any different when you’re with him?”
Wakatoshi considers this, did he feel any different now? Before, being with Satori had kept him alert, as Satori was prone to do unexpected things without any warning. His volume and mood changed constantly, and Wakatoshi had gotten used to the suddenness of it over the years. He had felt happy with Satori pretty often as well, but nowadays he wasn’t sure if ‘happy’ was the right word for it. Now when he saw Satori he felt happy but he also felt, felt… warm?
“I think I feel warmer,” he states simply.
He thinks he hears Misaki murmur something along the lines of ‘ don’t say it like you’re just catching a fever.’ And he opens his mouth to tell her he is perfectly healthy when she continues.
“Wakatoshi do you like anyone?” This seems like an odd question to Wakatoshi, of course he likes people, how would be friends with Satori otherwise?
“I do like people,” he confirms, instead of questioning her. “I like Satori, I like you, I like my volleyball coach.” Her face falls and Wakatoshi is getting more confused by this conversation as it continues.
“No no no, not ‘like’ as a friend or because they’re nice I mean do you have romantic feelings for anyone right now?” Wakatoshi’s brow furrows again, what did that have to do with his question?
“No, I do not have romantic feelings right now.”
“But you think about Satori all the time?” She prompts, and is she implying that he has feelings for Satori?
“Recently yes,” he replies warily.
“And you feel ‘warm’ whenever you’re around him?”
“Whenever I see him, and sometimes, think of him,” He confirms. He’s pretty sure he hears her whisper ‘ that’s so cute’ before continuing.
“You’ve known Satori for a long time right?”
“Yes.”
“Have you considered if you would want to be closer to Satori?” Her eyes are determined, and her face is no longer red.
Wakatoshi is not sure they could be any closer, Satori goes to his house every other day, and on the days Satori isn’t at Wakatoshi’s house Wakatoshi is often at Satori’s. They spend most of their time together, and Wakatoshi is pretty sure he knows everything there is to know about Satori. He tells her as much.
“Well, I mean like! Like holding hands! Or something like that.”
“We already hold hands,” he informs her.
“You- wait what?”
“Satori is often very cold,” Wakatoshi explains. “I am fairly warm year round. It helps him so I do not mind. Look,” he puts his hand out.
She gingerly places her hand in his, and then her face lights up in surprise. “See?” He asks, content with his explanation.
“Okay you are very warm but have you considered maybe holding hands with Satori just because you want to? Or- oh!” Her face lights up, “hugging him really tight and keeping him close to you because you want to!”
“Isn’t that something I could still do as a close friend?”
“But think about it!” She tries, “does it make that warm feeling warmer?”
Wakatoshi thinks about it, about holding Satori close, and holding his hand without a purpose. Satori would squirm a lot, he had never been very good at holding still. Would Satori even like hugs? He had always been fairly tactile but Wakatoshi doesn’t ever remember them hugging . He feels his lips press together.
“Don’t overthink it!” Misaki warns, “Just think about hugging him.”
Wakatoshi throws the other thoughts out of his mind, if Satori did like hugs he’d be better about not moving around so much. Wakatoshi was still taller than Satori so he’d be able envelop Satori in a hug quite easily. Satori was also very vocal about how much he envied Wakatoshi’s warmth, and he’d lean into the hug, try to steal as much of Wakatoshi’s warmth as possible.
Wakatoshi feels his face and ears heating up, and thinks, maybe, Misaki is on to something.
She notices his red face and fist pumps in victory.
“You don’t have to worry about it too much now,” she comforts, which is good because now Wakatoshi’s beginning to have thoughts. “But think about it okay?”
Wakatoshi nods and they make their way back to the classroom.
Before they enter they see a few boys walking out, talking about doing something outside, needing to get a court before they were all taken.
“Ugh as long as we don’t have to play with Satori,” one boy says.
“Yeah, he’s creepy,” another boy agrees, and Wakatoshi turns to face them, mouth already set in an angry line.
“Doesn’t he kind of remind of you of a monster?” Another chimes in, and the rest giggle in agreement. Wakatoshi prepares to say something he would probably regret, and takes a step towards them.
He’s stopped by Misaki, who grabs his hand before he can reach them. She gently pulls him back and shakes her head.
“They’re not worth it Wakatoshi. Plus,” she sends him a sly smile. “I know where they sit in class.”
Wakatoshi isn’t sure how this benefits them but he nods in agreement and they walk into class together. He immediately spots Satori sitting alone, head hanging down and bangs covering his eyes. He feels his hands clench, Satori had heard the boys then.
“Wakatoshi,” Misaki hisses, and Wakatoshi remembers he’s still holding her hand. He relaxes his hand and rubs his thumb over her hand in apology.
But Misaki’s whisper was enough to get Satori’s attention, who immediately looks over to where the sound came from. His eyes meet Wakatoshi’s and then move down, to where his hand is still holding Misaki’s. Satori raises an eyebrow at him, a small smile appearing on his face and Wakatoshi and Misaki immediately let go, Misaki’s face going red as she spins around to go tell the teacher they were done. Satori wiggles his eyebrows at Wakatoshi and Wakatoshi finds himself turning to follow Misaki as fast as he can. He would have to explain that later, make sure Satori did not get the… wrong idea.
As he and Misaki finish talking with the teacher she subtly points out to him where the boys sat, then points to the pencils resting on their desks. She makes a stomping motion and Wakatoshi nods in agreement.
He goes to sit with Satori, whatever he was currently feeling could wait, he would not be avoiding Satori any longer. Hearing the other boys reminded Wakatoshi that Satori did not have many other people to talk to. What kind of best friend would he be if he left Satori alone?
He sits down in front of Satori, who jumps at the noise. Satori looks surprised at seeing him, though he still smiles when he sees Wakatoshi there.
“Aren’t you going to sit with Misaki?” He asks, never one to beat around the bush.
“Why would I do that?” Wakatoshi asks simply, putting his right hand on the desk as he wasn’t using it to eat. “I’m your best friend aren’t I?”
A bright blush immediately blooms across Satori’s face, mouth open in surprise. Wakatoshi feels the warmth in his chest spread.
“I guess you’re right!” Satori agrees, taking Wakatoshi’s hand happily and continuing to eat. Satori’s hands are as cold as always, but Wakatoshi swears the warmth spreads further. He could get used to this.
And if later, he and Misaki knock over and snap every single one of those boys’ pencils. Well, that’s something Satori probably didn’t need to know about.
++++++
He’s 12 when he understand what it’s like to feel someone else’s disappointment.
———
Wakatoshi knows he and Satori will not go to the same middle school. He has already been accepted to Shiratorizawa Middle on a sports scholarship. While he didn’t consider Satori a bad volleyball player, he also knew Satori wasn’t on the same level as Shiratorizawa students. Satori had promised him that he would apply either way, but neither of them were holding out much hope.
Satori had joked about it, had told him that if they didn’t go to the same school then they would just have to spend more time together outside of school! Wakatoshi had felt happy at that, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be that easy. He was already devoting more time to volleyball, and he knew that the Shiratorizawa team would take even more than he was already giving.
So he had simply nodded in agreement, not giving it much thought. They would figure it out.
Now Satori had gotten the response from Shiratorizawa. Their hands were clasped together as he opened it, envelope falling to the ground.
Satori’s shoulders slumped as he read and Wakatoshi understood what the letter had said. So they would be going to different middle schools then, that would be fine. He had expected this, but he still feels the disappointment heavy in his chest. He tightens his hand around Satori’s trying to offer some sort of silent support. Satori collapses against his side and lets out a deep sigh in response.
“Looks like we’ll be spending a lot of time together outside of class huh ‘Toshi?” Satori breathes and it takes everything in Wakatoshi not to shiver at the feeling of Satori’s breath on his neck.
“We will,” Wakatoshi tells him, and tries to make it feel like the truth.
He ignores the pit in his chest and spends the rest of the day letting Satori do whatever he wants.
They’ll be fine. They always are.
+++++++
He’s 15 when Satori comes to him first.
———
It had been awhile since he had last seen Tendou. Wakatoshi had been right in assuming that Shiratorizawa would take up a lot more time than elementary school volleyball training. He wasn’t mad about it, and didn’t complain like some of the other kids, but every now and then he would wonder how Tendou was doing.
Would miss the feeling he got whenever they were around each other.
Wakatoshi takes a deep breath and tries to focus on his run. Running while distracted could result in a fall, and he didn’t need any injuries slowing him down. He had worked hard to be a starting member all three years, his route to continue onto Shiratorizawa High School was basically set and he didn’t want to ruin it.
He continues his run and tries not to think of Tendou for the rest of practice.
When he arrives home he’s surprised to see Tendou waiting for him in his room. Before, this would’ve been a common sight, but they hadn’t seen each other in a few months and Tendou hadn’t even notified him beforehand.
“Tooooshiiiiiiii” Tendou whines, not even looking up from his phone, “I’m booreddddd.”
“I still need to shower Tendou,” he replies, ignoring Tendou’s pout at his use of the boy’s last name and not his first.
It’s something Wakatoshi had started during their second year of middle school, tired of hearing other boys question him for continuing to use Tendou’s first name. Tendou had protested violently when he started, and it had almost led up to their first fight as friends.
Wakatoshi didn’t like to think about it much.
“Wakkunnnnnnn,” Tendou whines again, and Wakatoshi can feel the fondness quickly building in his chest.
He had gotten better at figuring out how to name the feelings Tendou incited in him. Hana had helped, they kept in contact, not as much as they should have, but they texted each other. They had even met up a few times, Wakatoshi was proud to say he had managed to get Tendou and Hana to become friends.
He smiles, thinking about their shared hangouts. He should text her soon. He didn’t like to think much about his feelings towards Tendou but she always approached it in a way that made it less embarrassing.
“Wait for me to shower,” He answers again simply.
Tendou whines again, but doesn’t move to complain further. Wakatoshi places his bag down by his bed, and Tendou blindly flings a hand out which Wakatoshi easily avoids as he makes his way to the bathroom.
After he showers he walks back into his room to find Tendou half hanging off his bed, newest issue of Jump open in front of him. Wakatoshi smiles at the sight of him, it had been a while since they had just been able to hang out.
Wakatoshi walks over to his bed, then promptly collapses on top of Tendou. Tendou lets out a squeak of protest and immediately begins squirming under him. Wakatoshi lets out a chuckle as Tendou continues trying to push him off.
Wakatoshi pulls out his phone as Tendou attempts to kick him.
“Should I invite Hana over?” Wakatoshi asks, pulling up her contact.
Tendou immediately stops moving under him, dropping his copy of Shounen Jump and trying to turn under him so he could try facing Wakatoshi.
“Is there a reason you want her to come?” Tendou asks half turned and half crushed, and Wakatoshi isn’t sure what to make of his tone.
“It’s been a while since we’ve all been able to hang out hasn’t it?” Wakatoshi asks, and Tendou’s mouth sets into a hard line.
Wakatoshi thinks he might’ve said the wrong thing.
“It’s been a while since we've hung out at all Wakatoshi!” Tendou replies, and he tries not to think about the lack of nickname. “It’s been months since I’ve even seen you! High school entrance exams and acceptances ended for all the schools in our area three weeks ago and you didn’t even ask me where I’m going!”
Wakatoshi realizes now is most likely not the time to be on top of his friend and he slowly gets up. Tendou immediately escapes from under him and sits on the floor in front of him, arms crossed in front of him. He was curling in on himself, and it hits Wakatoshi how uncomfortable Tendou looked.
“Wakatoshi… are we still friends?”
Wakatoshi stares at Tendou, who looks more and more like he just wants to disappear. Had Wakatoshi done something wrong? He understood that not hanging out for a while has affected Satori, but he hadn’t expected something like this...
“Satori…” Wakatoshi begins, and Satori looks up at him in surprise at his first name, “I know… I know we haven’t been as close, compared to earlier.” Wakatoshi tries to find the words to continue. “You’re still my best friend Satori.”
Satori’s eyes shine, with the way he’s looking up at Wakatoshi helping his eyes catch the light of his room. His cheeks had lost quite a bit of their roundness throughout middle school, which Wakatoshi had privately mourned, but Wakatoshi still finds himself wanting to cup his cheek in his hand. Thoughts like this had only gotten more common throughout middle school, the warmth in his chest only getting warmer. Wakatoshi tries to shake it off.
“No one could ever replace you Sato-” Wakatoshi tries to continue. Only to get cut off as Tendou gets up from the floor and tackles him. He whispers something into Wakatoshi’s chest that he can’t hear, and hugs him tighter. Wakatoshi smiles gently and rests a hand on Tendou's back, it seems they were still friends.
They laid like that on Wakatoshi’s bed for a while, listening to their breathing and the sounds coming from other areas of the house.
“Satori…” Tendou looks up at him, cheeks red and still slightly wet from his tears earlier. It takes all of Wakatoshi’s self control not to just stare at him. “What high school are you going to?”
For the first time since he had arrived Tendou looks happy. He shoots him one of the biggest smiles Wakatoshi has seen in awhile.
“Shiratorizawa of course!”
Wakatoshi hugs him tighter and lets himself smile. Looks like they still had time.
They both still had homework, and Wakatoshi still felt like he had to apologize, but they fall asleep entangled together, remaining together until Wakatoshi’s mother wakes them up the next morning.
They still had time.