Chapter Text
Katsuki was used to his anxiety and panic attacks, he’d grown not to show it or attack people like he used to. He would work on calming himself down or finding a certain redhead to help with that. So when he felt a familiar tightness in his chest, he didn’t think much of it. He had been sparring with Kirishima, pinned under his weight when his stomach lurched. He hated leaving class early but Aizawa and Kirishima understood when it happened.
This felt different to Katsuki, his chest tightened up and his stomach lurched but his mind wasn’t racing. An acid brushed the back of his throat and he felt his stomach lurch again. “Caramel.” The word rolled off his tongue before he could try to get himself under control. Eijirou’s face fell as he rushed to get off of the blonde, caramel had been their secret word for when Katsuki was in an attack. It meant move, it meant stop, and it meant help. The blonde was up, his head spinning as he started sprinting from the training room. His shoes slid a little on the linoleum floors, a cough creeping up his throat. He wasn’t sure how he was moving as he couldn’t really think about anything other than how much he didn’t want to puke. He didn’t recall throwing open the bathroom door or kneeling in front of the toilet.
Katsuki couldn’t breathe, he was trying every stupid technique he had learned. His head was foggy and once he started coughing, he couldn’t stop. He was gasping for air, closing his eyes as tears involuntarily fell from his eyes. It hurt, and he just wanted air to fill his lungs again. After he coughed for what felt like hours, something came out. He sat back on the floor, taking deep breaths and trying to calm himself down.
Once he felt a little better, he stood up to flush his presumped puke when he tasted blood in his mouth. His curious eyes glanced into the water to catch something horrifying. A dozen rose petals floating there, practically leering at him. His burning throat tasted like rust mixed with rose flavored body wash. This time his anxiety spiked as he started to question how the fuck he could’ve puked up goddamn roses? He didn’t eat roses! And if it wasn’t a panic attack, what had just happened to him? What the fuck?
“Bakugou, bro, how you feeling?” Kirishima’s voice called as he knocked on the door before walking inside. Katsuki panicked, flushing down the alarming flowers and rushing to the sink. He scooped up water and rinsed his mouth, washing his hands and glancing over to where the concerned redhead was keeping watch on him.
“Uh, better, yeah, I don’t know.. what came over me,” he admitted, his voice soft and quiet like it always was when he was around the boy like this, worked up and adrenaline pumping.
“Well panic attacks don’t have to make sense,” Eijirou commented, placing a hand on the blondes shoulder to rub it before he hugged the shorter boy tightly. Katsuki melted into the touch, a strange tickle teasing the back of his throat that he swallowed down by clearing it a few times. “Mr. Aizawa said you should take the rest of the day off and rest.”
“What? No!” Katsuki protested, ripping away from his best friend and scoffing. He crossed his arms, glaring at the toilet like it had been the cause. “I’m fine now! I can train more, everybody is out there and they’re gonna wonder-“
“Kats, that wasn’t some small thing where you took a break for two minutes and went for a walk. You actually got sick sick, and we both know you’re not even feeling up to walking to the dorms.” Eijirou pointed out, also crossing his arms and looking stern at the blonde who was now pouting. “And fuck everybody else, let them wonder. They know you’re a lot different than you were back in seventh grade and that should be enough for them not to want gossip but to care about you.”
“I hate you,” Bakugou grumped with no venom to his words. He used to be able to explode, bottle everything up and be an asshole. He pushed everybody away and they just figured he was some stuck up prick; someone who was full of himself and would do anything to get to number one. Which was true back then but there were reasons behind his actions, even if they weren’t good ones. Then he met Kirishima and the boy weaseled his way in. He cracked the brick walls like they were pencils and pulled the real person trapped inside out. He taught him how to healthily cope; though it took months of the blonde trying to be mean and shove the caring stranger away. He taught him how to show he cared and feelings without being so angry. All the redhead’s friends became his friends, forming something they called the Bakusquad. He made amends with Deku much to Todoroki’s dismay; that took almost a year and now they even worked together on occasion.
It seemed like everyone in the class had long forgiven the angry teenager and were his friends now that he had long proven that he had changed for the better. The Bakusquad still teased and trash talked one another about everything, they had dumb and possibly offensive nicknames but there was no malice behind it. There was no cold hearted Bakugou anymore, all due to Kirishima being stubborn and persistent.
“I love you too, now you want me to carry you?” Eijirou asked, raising an eyebrow. Katsuki scoffed at the question, crossing his arms again and shaking his head. “Fine, how about… a piggyback ride?”
“What are you, five?” The blonde teased, chuckling slightly as he reluctantly gave in. He jumped on his back, legs hooking together around his waist and wrapping his arms around the taller one’s neck. “I’m really fine.” He grumbled slightly, laying his head on the man’s shoulder as he started walking.
“I know, Kats, you never need help.” Kirishima commented, rolling his eyes slightly. He heard the other scoff but other than that got no argument. He tightened his hold on the other’s legs as he carried him to the dorms. As they got to their part of the hall, Katsuki had another coughing attack. The blonde managed to cough into his elbow and catch the rose petals there. He didn’t understand where these came from or what the hell was going on. He moved one arm to pick up the stray petals, tucking them in the pocket of his hero costume before Kirishima gently dropped him onto his bed. “Alrighty, do you want me to head out?”
Bakugou considered it for a moment. Sometimes he would allow the redhead to stay, they would cuddle and relax together. Sometimes they’d even watch their favorite movies and order pizza in. It wasn’t often as it was before Kirishima taught him coping mechanisms but once a month or more he’d get a bad PTSD episode. Today he wasn’t sure, he was still really worried about the damn rose petals. He knew he should call his mom and ask her about it but he hated asking for help. He’d be more embarrassed if Eijirou stayed and he had to ask her about throwing up rose petals; he questioned if the boy would ever talk to him again after that. Then again, he knew that he wasn’t shallow in the slightest and if anything he would just be incredibly concerned for his best friend’s health.
“I would like to be alone for a few hours, nap and shower and stuff. Maybe come get me for dinner? We could meet the rest of the Bakusquad or order food in or go out, if that’s okay with you.” Katsuki spoke softly, looking at the other for any sign of anger or distress. Instead he got a small smile and nod from Kirishima.
“Okay, Kats, but you know I’m next door if you need me. And you can always call me, don’t be stupid. Get some rest and I’ll see you later,” Eijirou said seriously, ruffling the blonde’s hair before smiling and walking out the door. As soon as the door shut, Bakugou started coughing again, he walked over and locked it. He sighed at the bloody rose petals now in his hand before plopping down in his desk chair. What the fuck was going on?