Chapter Text
Rey hadn’t intended to stay the night on Tatooine.
She’d come here to bury Leia and Luke’s lightsabers in the sand, in this place that was steeped in Skywalker history. Finn, Rose, and Poe had offered to come with her, but she’d needed this private memorial, to give herself space to grieve a loss that no one else really understood.
She’d told her friends about Ben’s sacrifice — how in the end he’d rejected “Kylo Ren” and come to help her face Palpatine. And then, how he’d given all of his life force to resurrect her, a final act of love that had cost him his life.
It was a strange sort of grief, because she knew he wasn’t truly gone. He’d become one with the Force, and, by transferring his essence into her, he would always dwell inside her, in her heart. But that wasn’t the same as being able to see him, and touch him. She’d only known Ben Solo for a few moments, and that precious time had felt far too short.
When she closed her eyes, she could still see him smiling at her — so bright and pure and full of hope. For just a second, she’d imagined the future they could have together, until he collapsed on the ground and faded away.
Roughly wiping the tears from her eyes, Rey stared at the twin suns setting behind the desert horizon, BB-8 beeping sadly beside her. She hadn’t told the others all the details about her feelings for Ben Solo, but Rose had guessed.
Before Rey left to come here, Rose had given her a long, lingering hug, and then whispered, “We love who we love, Rey.” Rose might not see how someone could fall in love with the man the galaxy knew as Kylo Ren, but she trusted and respected Rey.
Rey looked down at the lightsaber she had built, scavenged from her old staff. She’d thought about keeping Leia or Luke’s saber, but it hadn’t seemed right. She would carry on their legacy by forging something new, and she would leave the sabers here, to symbolize how the Skywalker family was finally at peace.
As dusk slowly turned into night, Rey found herself unwilling to leave the desert. She called Finn to let him know she wouldn’t be rendezvousing with the group until tomorrow, and though he sounded a little worried about her, he didn’t attempt to pry.
The truth was, sitting out here under the stars, near a place that was so pivotal to the Skywalker family, she felt close to Ben. When she finally climbed on board Luke’s X-Wing and took off, it would be like saying goodbye to him forever.
BB-8’s concerned beeps grew slightly louder, and Rey laughed a little, despite her melancholy mood.
“All right, I understand you’re worried about what might be lurking in the desert at night. We’re going to stay here, but we’ll go inside the house now, if that will make you feel better.”
BB-8 beeped his acceptance of this compromise, and together they stepped into Luke Skywalker’s old home.
It was dark inside — oppressively dark — and Rey wandered until she found a bedroom with a window that allowed moonlight to spill in. Maybe this had been Luke’s childhood room? If things had played out differently, perhaps he would have raised his own children in this place.
She brushed the dust off the bed, coughing at the cloud of dirt she’d disturbed, and then laid down, pulling her cloak over her as a makeshift blanket. BB-8 rolled up next to her and powered down, and then she was struck by how desperately silent — and lonely — this place was.
Rey shut her eyes and whispered the mantra she whispered every night, to calm herself and remind her that while she might be the last Jedi in this galaxy, she never was, and never had been, alone.
“Be with me...be with me...be with me…”
She was saying it to Leia and Luke, and to all the Jedi she’d never even met but whose voices she’d heard during her fight with Palpatine. And most of all, she said it to Ben, clutching her hands to her heart and thinking of his life force, forever merged with hers.
“Be with me...be with me...be with—”
Rey.
She sat bolt upright in bed, her heart instantly pounding. Was this some cruel trick of her imagination or a gust of wind?
Rey.
Her eyes welled with tears. She knew exactly whose voice this was, but she didn’t want to believe it. She’d waited so long for his Force ghost to appear to her, and she had feared it might never happen.
Rey.
“Is it...is it really you?” Rey asked, barely daring to hope or even breathe. “Ben?”
The voice was faint, and she couldn’t see a glowing blue Force ghost anywhere in the room. But he was here with her right now; she was sure of it. If only he had the power to speak louder — she could barely hear him.
“Where are you, Ben?” Rey said. “Are you...are you at peace in the Force?”
Rey.
She curled her fingers in frustration, though not directed towards him. She had the feeling Ben was doing all he could; he was struggling to reach her, and all he seemed to be able to manage was her name. But for now, that was enough. She would sit here and listen to him whisper it to her a thousand times.
She closed her eyes again and reached out through the Force, feeling its mysterious currents swirling around her.
“I feel you, Ben,” she whispered to him. “I know you’re here.”
And then suddenly, the connection winked out. Rey gasped at the shock of it, but before grief could well up within her anew, she heard another whisper, this one louder and more confident.
Rey. He’s waiting for you. There is a place — you can meet him there.
“Leia?”
Rey didn’t understand any of what was happening, but she didn’t care. Her heart exploded with hope, and she held her breath, not wanting to miss a word of what Leia might say.
He’s trapped there, in that place. He has the power to come back, but he is uncertain. He’s afraid he still does not deserve you, or deserve a chance to atone for what he’s done. He needs you to show him the way back, to show him that he is worthy of redemption.
“But what place?” Rey asked, her heart pounding so wildly she could barely speak. “Where can I find him? How can I bring him back from the—”
Follow the Force. It will guide you there. Find the door in the darkness, and face what you fear.
Rey had questions — so many, many questions — but just like her connection with Ben was abruptly severed, Leia’s presence also suddenly vanished.
Rey had no idea how late it was, but there was no chance she was going back to sleep tonight.
“Wake up, BB-8,” she said, excitedly patting the droid on the head. He woke up with a flurry of confused beeps, having missed the entire Force conversation.
Rey didn’t know what was going to happen next, or even where to go after she met back up with her friends and told them about what she had experienced. Maybe they’d think she was crazy, but Rey was certain of what she’d heard.
Somehow, some way, Ben Solo was alive, and wherever he was, she was going to find him and bring him back.