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they could have been great

Summary:

And gods, yeah, he sees where Naruto is coming from, they could’ve rewritten the universe if they tried, they were limitless, breathtaking, beautiful. “We could’ve been great”, Naruto says, and Sasuke feels his heart break.

Or-

At the last battle at the Valley of the End, Naruto tells Sasuke something he’s been hiding for a long time.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

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It’s fitting, this death.

 

He figures it makes sense-he’s walked with Naruto his whole life. He’s always been there.

 

Maybe not in person, maybe not in flesh, but on the tip of Sasuke’s tongue, on the edge of his mind.

 

He’s always there. 

So it’s fitting, he supposes.

 

That they’ll die together too.

 

•———

 

They’re in the Valley of the End.

 

There’s silence for miles around them, nothing but the quiet crumbling of the statues around them, and Naruto’s quiet, laboured breaths.

 

It’s very, very empty.

 

He supposes that after their battle, after they covered the battlefield in the blood of the other, there wouldn’t be much around. But the quiet means that no one is coming. The quiet means death.

 

(Distantly, he knows Sakura is coming for them.)

 

Maybe that is what prompted him to ask.

 

He though so surely that death was coming, it was inevitable, that he opened his heart.

“Why?”

 

And the battlefield stills.

 

“Why what?” Naruto says, and his eyes are fixed on the sky, with a sort of heavy finality that knocks the breath out of Sasuke.

 

“Out of all the people back in Konoha, all the people I left behind, you were the only one who never gave up on me.” Sasuke looks to the sky as well, and feels that weight settle on his own chest

 

“The only one,” he says quietly. Naruto turns, the breeze stirring his hair. “And I-I can’t understand it! I treated you like shit!”

 

Naruto snorted. “You treated a lot of people like shit,” he says softly.

If Sasuke didn’t have a gaping hole in his chest, he might have laughed. There is blood running down is arm, torrential and weeping.

“But you, Naruto, you were always there. And I spent all my time with you refusing to acknowledge your strength.”

 

“And you were the only one to not give up on me,” he says, and the words hold some sort of stillness.

The stillness is everywhere.

“So why? Out of everyone in Konoha, why were you the one person who never gave up on me?”

For a long moment, the only sound Sasuke can hear is Naruto’s quiet breaths. There is moment of heavy silence, and then-

“A while ago, I would’ve just said ‘because you’re my friend,” Naruto says quietly.

 

He’s heard that one before- they all have. Every time anyone asked him “why, why are you still chasing him?” Naruto would respond the same. “Because he’s my friend.”

 

(Sometimes, Sasuke would remember that, late at night and wonder if that changed anything.

Never, has anyone called him a friend. He is sharp and jagged, he is broken like smashed glass, so unapproachable that most people never even bother.

Until a blond with his heart in his eyes decided that he was Sasuke’s friend.

 

It changed everything.)

 

“But it was an excuse. A justification.”

He goes still.

No.

(He can feel the blood running out of his chest, seeping into the ground, and it’s almost like his body is crying.)

 

“And maybe once you were my friend, Sasuke. When we spent our days as boys running in sunlight.” Naruto draws a sharp breath, like something inside him is jagged.

 

“But then you were gone, Sasuke,” Naruto says, and gods, Sasuke can hear his voice crack. “You were gone for three years.”

Something inside of Sasuke cracks open.

He’d always known that out of all the people in Konoha, Naruto never gave up on people.

 

Never.

 

So gods, it hurts, it’s aches to hear the one person he may have considered a friend reaching their limit.

 

To hear Naruto giving up on him.

 

“But I had a lot of time while you were gone. To really think about who you were to me.”

 

And God, Sasuke can hear it coming, can see it forming on his lips, can already feel the “you’re not worth my time anymore.” And fuck, it hurts.

His hand curls into a fist, nails biting into his palm.

 

He won’t cry.

 

He won’t.

He closes his eyes. 

“Don’t, Naruto,” he whispers, and Naruto turns towards him, questions in his burning eyes.

“I-I know that you want me to leave. To leave you alone. And I will,” he says, aching from every part of his body.

“But please,” he whispers. He begs. “Don’t say it.”

 

He needs this.

 

Naruto opens his mouth and spits out words. “Sasuke, I’m trying to-“

“Don’t, Naruto, I get it, I’m not going to-“

“Sasuke! Shut up for a second, I’m trying to-“

Naruto is almost yelling now.

“Please Naruto, I get the message, don’t-“

Please.

“Sasuke, just listen for a second, I’m trying to-“

“Stop, Naruto, I get it, I know what you-“

Just stop, he begs silently. Please.

“I’m not going to say-“

“Naruto, I get it, but don’t say it, please-“

 

“I’m trying to tell you that I love you!”

 

The battlefield goes silent, tension pulling on every limb.

 

That can’t be true.

 

“You’re lying,” he says, voice cracking around the outsides.

Naruto’s voice cuts, sharp, through the tension.

“Sasuke,” he says, and his voice is limitless. Sasuke can see the stars in it, eternal, powerful, stunning.

“I am not lying to you.” Naruto turns to face him, and his eyes are the sea in a storm, tears in a funeral, the sky above the clouds.

 

They are stunning in their conviction.

 

“I love you, Sasuke.”

And Sasuke finds that he believes him.

 

His world is spinning, this isn’t how things were supposed to go. He’s supposed to be bleeding out on a broken battlefield, he’s supposed to be drowning in the weight of his guilt.

He’s supposed to be dead. He’s not supposed to be missed.

 

Gods, he should have realised that if there was any person who would have said something so mind-bending, so sudden, with utter conviction seeping out of his entire being, it would be Naruto.

 

“You were always there, Sasuke. From when we were genin to now, you were always be with me. I’ve always carried you with me,” he says, and Sasuke doesn’t, can’t understand, how can someone care this much for him?

 

“You were always there.”

 

A tear slips down Naruto’s face. The noise it makes as it hits the ground is like a death sentence.

 

“I think you were always the one for me.” And gods, Sasuke’s sold, there are tears running over the bridge of his nose, his eyes have gone blurry.

His fingers are shaking, dripping with blood, the ground around them stained red.

 

Drip drip drip.

 

No one has ever, ever, said something like that to him. He is like an icicle, crooked and broken, and the kind of thing that people run away from. He is a missing-nin, he is a criminal, a legend told to children the keep them in line. He is serrated like a blade, sharp and quick and deadly, pushing people away.

 

People don’t want to be around him.

 

And now someone with the world in his hands, someone who has conquered the world with only the smile on his face and the heart on his sleeve is with him. Someone who has carried himself through the barbed gazes in Konoha, through the prejudice in the Academy, through the whispers and points and stares.

Someone with so much inner strength Sasuke can’t even comprehend it.

This is the boy who looked at Sasuke and saw someone who needed saving, when all others saw cold aloofness and easy arrogance.

This is the boy who looked at a monster, in every sense of the word, a myth, a cautionary tale of a fox with nine tails, and saw a friend.

This is boy who looked at Obito, a villain, someone so twisted and warped, someone who killed his parents, killed his chances of growing up happy as a jinchuriki in Konoha, and saw someone who could be saved.


This is the boy who just told Sasuke that he was in love with him.

 

And gods, how could Sasuke not love this man back, he’s walked through hell with him, they carried each other through the biggest battle of their world, but ahead of him has always been Naruto, bright and burning and so close but always so far out of reach, and someone that Sasuke will always love.

 

Someone he will always love.

 

And he has his answer.

“Naruto, I-“ He cuts off.

After that, every word feels hollow. He takes in a breath.

“I’ve been running for a long time.” Naruto tenses like they’re not spilling their life secrets on a broken battlefield.

“Sasuke, that’s not t-“ He cuts him off

“It is. Refusing to consider if Itachi was loyal,” he says and he feels the ground beneath him grow wet with blood.

“Refusing to acknowledge that there has always been a home for me.” He looks straight into Naruto’s eyes when he says that, and watches as another tears makes its way down Naruto’s face.

“I’ve been running from my feelings for a long time,” he says, and the words are sad and soft and aching.

He sets his jaw, holds Naruto’s gaze.

“I’ve been running from you for a long time.” Naruto’s hands start to shake. A wave of hurt enters his eyes, and Sasuke realises what he just said, how that could be interpreted, and if there is one person who does not deserve that, it is Naruto.

He pulls himself together, he has to tell Naruto, to get these heavy words of his chest.

It’s his turn now. To open his heart. To allow Naruto in. He has to tell Naruto the truth about what he just said. He closes his eyes.

But gods, this is so hard, he’s used to being invulnerable, no weaknesses, with a wall of ice around him, freezing everyone who tries to enter.

“Sasuke,” Naruto says, and the words are soft and gentle and filled with a kindness he will never deserve.

He opens his eyes.

Naruto’s eyes meet his, limitless and powerful and breathtaking.

“Sasuke, you don’t have to reply,” he says, and Sasuke starts, because how can someone who just completely opened his heart not want anything back?

And then Sasuke remembers that this is Naruto.

 

And Naruto will give and give and give until it kills him.

 

It’s his turn now. So he steels himself, because this is it.

This is this time to open. To tell the truth.

(Distantly, he hears ice cracking.)

 

Naruto continues, looking like he’s watching the sky break apart.

“It’s ok. You don’t have to say anything back. I-I get it, if you don’t love me back-I mean if you don’t like me-I mean-you don’t have-“

 

“Naruto,” he says, and the word is crushing in its finality, splitting open the heavens.

 

Naruto falls silent.

“I-let me clarify something. When I said I was running from you, I did not mean you. I meant what you meant to me,” he says, and every part of it rings true. Naruto’s eyes flicker with hope.

“Maybe that was why, in the beginning, I left. I was afraid of what you were to me, of how deep I was falling. Not you. Never you.”

He watches another tear slip on to the ground.

“I’m not good with people. So let me be very clear.”

He gathers himself, pushes back in that wall of ice with everything left, everything in his heart that has loved the man in front of him.

 

This is it.

 

He draws in a shaky breath.

“Naruto,” and the word cuts through the air, sudden but warm and soft.

 

This is the man who walked through hell for him, who spent three years away from his home to look for him.

This is a man who decided to fight ice with kindness, and succeeded.

This is a man who put his life dream on hold to look for Sasuke, who forwent training for the Hokage’s seat, who gave up staying in the village to look for Sasuke.

This is important.

 

This man is important.

 

This is the man who cried for Sasuke when he thought the was dead, who cradled his body and Sasuke swears he heard his heart break.

This is the man who accepted Sasuke back when faced with Kaguya, quick and sudden, not even mentioning the three years gone.

And then won.

By the strength of his heart.

 

This is Naruto.

 

There will never be anyone else for him.

 

“Naruto,” he says again, and the words are gentle, and cracking around the edges.

 

“I love you,” he says, and it holds, caressing Naruto’s cheek as he watches another tear slip free.

It is warm and everlasting and a weakness he will never be able to take back.

And Naruto is sobbing, crying into the sky, relief written all over his face, a heartbreaking sort of softness, as he looks at Sasuke and smiles.

The smile is soft and gentle and wide and so unbelievably happy Sasuke can barely breathe.

“All those times I imagined saying this to you, there was never a time where you would say it back,” Naruto says and god damn it, he’s crying again, the ground underneath him softening.

Because Naruto looks so unbelievably happy.

Sasuke has never had anyone be happy about being loved by him.

 

Naruto turns up, to the sky, and coughs, once, twice, with a rattle in his chest, and Sasuke sees the blood running down his chin.

His blood turns to ice.

 

They are running out of time.

 

Before Sasuke would have accepted death, would have lain still while it came to claim him, silent and dark and sudden.

Death had been an indifference, before. It hadn’t really mattered. He had nothing to lose.

Itachi was dead, Orochimaru off the playing field. Akatsuki was steering clear, he had no worthy goal.

But now Sasuke looks at Naruto, and realises he has something to lose.

 

But before Sasuke can even open his mouth, Naruto says with a heartbreaking gentleness-

“We could have been great,” and his eyes are wistful, like he’s looking at something he wants so damn much but can never have.

Sasuke feels his heart break.

“Gods, Sasuke, we could have ruled the world together,” he says softly, and it hits Sasuke then.

 

They aren’t making it out of this.

 

This is a goodbye.

 

And fuck, it hurts.

 

Because for a second there, he had Naruto.

 

And gods, yeah, he sees where Naruto is coming from, they could’ve rewritten the universe if they tried, they were limitless, breathtaking, beautiful.

 

Were.

 

“We could have gone somewhere, maybe not Konoha, but always together.” And then he feels Naruto giving up on Konoha just to get a chance with him and he’s sobbing all over again, because they could’ve been bright and burning and strong.

 

Could have.

 

 “And we could have raised a little family, with Kakashi and Sakura, and I could give them what I never had,” Naruto says, and his voice breaks again, and Sasuke’s trying so hard to move over to Naruto, but he can’t and it’s tearing him apart.

And Naruto won’t stop talking about families, and if he doesn’t stop soon Sasuke’s going to shatter.

Because this sounds like everything he’s never dared to dream of, and he won’t be able to see it.

“We could’ve raised them from orphanages, give the kids what we never had,” and he turns to Sasuke, and his eyes are red rimmed and so unbelievably sad that’s Sasuke forgets to breathe.

“Gods, Sasuke, we could have been great,” and it’s little more than a whisper.

Sasuke watches Naruto’s eyes slip closed, and a furious wave of panic rips through him.

He knows that if Naruto falls asleep here, he will not wake up again.

 

“Naruto,” he says, loud and insistent.

 

“Naruto, wake up,” and he means it with every bone on his body.

He has never feared death, but now that it has come to claim another, he feels it’s thin fingers on his neck and pushes back.

“Naruto!” His voice rings across the battlefield, and Sasuke watches, with a relief that could shatter the stars as Naruto’s eyes crack open.

“Didn’t know your cared that much for me, teme,” he says with a weak laugh, and Sasuke watches the joke fall flat.

“Naruto,” he says, worried and cracking and panicked.

Naruto’s eyes start slipping shut again.

“Tell me about them,” he says, and it rips something apart inside of him, but anything to keep Naruto awake.

Naruto takes one look in his stormy eyes, and knows what he’s talking about.

“There would be a little girl,” he says with heartbreaking gentleness.

“And she’d be just like my mom, and I’d teach her and spend time with her and love her, because there was never anyone to do that for me,” Naruto whispers, and there’s a gaping hole inside of Sasuke now, endless and growing and aching.

“And you, Sasuke?” he asks, and Sasuke draws himself together, watches himself fall into the abyss.

He thinks of his mother, her kind eyes and kinder hands, and the way she used to sit with him at the table in the mornings to make sure he was never lonely.

He thinks of his brother with his gentle eyes, and a determination to protect him no matter the cost.

He thinks of his father, with his harsh words, and behind that a man who simply wanted his children to grow up strong.

And then he says- “It would be a little boy,” and there’s tears cascading over his nose.

“And he would be quiet, like Itachi, and I’d make sure that-that no matter what, he knew that I loved him.” And Naruto makes a noise halfway between a cough and a sob, and Sasuke feels his heart break.

“You would have made an awesome dad,”Naruto says, and it’s like Sasuke is watching him fall apart.

 

Would have.

 

“You would have made a better one,” he says, and means it with every piece of himself. Because Naruto is soft and warm and open, caring and loving and kind. He is sharp and jagged and he could be nowhere near the father that Naruto could be.

He still can’t believe this man loves him.

And gods, they could have been happy, they could have had a family, they could have been bright and sparkling and magnificent.

And then Sasuke feels the cough bubble up from his own lungs and realises just how short on time they are.

 

Naruto’s eyes have slipped shut again. But this time, he feels his own eyelids drooping, feels the weight of death upon them.

 

One last desperate attempt.

 

“Your turn,” he says softly. Anything to jar him out of sleep.

“Didn’t know you wanted more than two kids, teme,” Naruto says weakly.

He can’t die.

“Whatever you want, usuratonkachi,” he says, and it means everything and anything, the building of a galaxy.

Naruto turns back to him, face open and soft and tired.

“The house, then,” he says, like a question, tender and tentative.

“Whatever you want,” he says, and tries to ignore the blood.

He can’t die.

“Well, it’d have to be with you. I’d give up Konoha for you,” he murmurs, and Sasuke is reminded once again of just how incredible Naruto is, and he can’t breathe, gods-

“Where do you want the house, Sasuke?” he asks, and Naruto says his name like prayer, quiet and breathy and sacred.

“Anywhere,” he whispers and it’s little more than a plea.

He can’t die.

Naruto laughs, bright and glorious. Despite everything going on around them, Sasuke cracks a smile too.

“Keep going, Naruto,” he says and Naruto’s name on his lips is like a flicker of wind, rolling and quick and playful.

Naruto takes a broken breath.

 

He can’t die.

 

“We’d be somewhere peaceful,” he says, like they’re not soldiers, born and bred for war, survivors in every sense of the word.

“And there’d be water somewhere close, and there’s be room for our kids to grow and run and live,” he murmurs, and gods, Sasuke’s about two more words from completely shattering, because gods, he wants this life so bad but-

 

He knows he can never have it.

 

“And maybe they wouldn’t have to be shinobi,” he says, and fuck, Sasuke’s falling in love again with this man, who would give up his way of life for his children, and he knew Naruto would make a good father, and this proves it, forgiving and new and strong.

“Maybe we could spare them that,” Naruto whispers, and Sasuke is falling, falling, broken like smashed glass, and it doesn’t feel like he can ever recover.

“Your turn,” he says, and Sasuke isn’t sure he had anything left. Everything feels heavy and light at once, bright and dark and sharp and soft.

“I don’t know what to say,” he whispers, cracked and broken and desperate.

“Whatever you want, teme,” Naruto murmurs, and his eyes are limitless and bright and devastated.

 

“We would have a garden,” he says, and has no idea where that came from, but anything to keep Naruto awake.

 

He can’t die.

 

But Naruto smiles at him, warm and tender and coming apart at the seams, and Sasuke finds it within himself to continue.

“I’d plant flowers,” he says “rows and rows and rows of them.”

He sobs, a cracking, desperate, devastated thing.

“And-and when we die, they could bury us with the petals,” he says and gods, this life sounds like everything he never dared to dream of, happy and perfect.

“Together,” he says lowly, and Naruto sobs, raw and jagged.

There is blood running down their arms thick and warm and everything’s going slightly hazy.

Thick and thin and thick and thin and thick and thin and-

“I’m so glad it was you,” Naruto whispers, and gods, Sasuke’s shattered, he’s gone, lost to the wind, because no one has ever told him that.

And he’s reaching so far inside himself for an answer, but everything is hazy, covered in an early morning mist, and Sasuke can’t think.

He tries, gods, he pushes so hard, but the confines of unconsciousness are too strong, and Sasuke finds himself drifting, lost to a world he would’ve given everything to have.

“We could have been great,” he murmurs back, and it’s like the heavy hit of a gong in its finality, and they know it’s the end.

 

Naruto’s eyes have closed.

 

He was so close, the thinks, woozy out of desperation to hold on.

 

So close to having a life that would fill him to the brim with its happiness, could turn him away from the harsh life of a shinobi.

 

So close to having a world where he had children, something that had always been so far out of reach for him, the bastard of Konoha.

 

So close to having him.

 

Goodbye, Naruto.

 

And then there is silence, and the bodies in the Valley lie still.

 

•———

 

It’s Sakura who finds them, in the end.

And she weeps, cradles their broken bodies, but it is too late.

Kakashi is the one who buries them.

More loved ones outlived, more lives he failed to protect. He’s back at the memorial stone.

Iruka cries, at the funeral. He cries and cries and cries, for this is the boy he loved like a little brother, who gave his life for a friend.

This is the boy with ice sharp eyes he tried so hard to protect, to steer down the right path.

He does not want to send more boys out to be soldiers.

Tsunade is there too, and she sobs for the boy who brought Konoha back to her with the strength of his heart, and wonders when that became so metaphorical.

(Because in the end, his heart failed him.)

She is glad she never sees the bodies.

Shikamaru and Chouji and Ino and Kiba and Hinata and Shino and Tenten and Lee and Neji.

This funeral has no shortage of mourners.

And they think back on when it was that they decided that Naruto was invincible.

(“I will become Hokage,” and a bright grin, and then “believe it!”)

And now their bodies lie cold in a grave, and they wonder when Naruto and Sasuke became so damn untouchable.

Far away, Karin and Suigetsu and Juuzo hear that Sasuke is dead, killed in battle with his best friend.

They wonder how it could be that the strongest among them greeted death first.

(And they remember how they were tilted together, drawn to one another, even in death, how the blood formed their hands linked and look up to the sky and say-

“they could have been great.”)

 

 

 

Notes:

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