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Their kiss was like a battle, there was nothing sweet or gentle about it. There was no love, only hate and pain. A shaky type of tolerance as their hands roamed the others body. Any one who saw the two knew it wasn't love, it was a toxic excuse for pleasure. Both boys knew it couldn't last, so they took with no remorse waiting for the other to pull away, for the other to tell them it was wrong.
"Fuck I gotta go," Jason pulled away, his mouth tasting like his own blood. Gold blood stained Dick' s mouth his gold eyes sharp, cutting through Jason. Like usual Dick didn't say anything. Dick didn't remember being Dick, to him he was always Talon. The court had been destroyed but Dick still lived on. Jason blinked and Dick was gone, he often did that.
"Goodbye," Jason says to himself sitting down hard on the roof of a random building in Gotham. He looks up at the stars deciding how long he could sit here. Jason watched as clouds moved to cover the stars until a black mass stood over him.
"Hey B. Long time no see," Jason stood up wiping his pants off. Jason had stopped running with Bruce a little after he saved him from Joker. Jason had become Red Hood, giving his title of Robin to a spunky kid named Tim. Bruce rarely ever went to Blüdhaven, where Jason lived, unless it was important.
"I need your help with a case," it took Jason a moment to process the words Bruce had said. Bruce never asked for help no matter how bad a case got. Jason was tempted to tell Bruce to screw himself. They were on the outs, after a vicious argument last christmas about Dick. "It involves Dick," Jason scrutinized Bruce's face before finally nodding.
"Fine but no secrets. Tell me everything I need to know it's not going to be like when I was Robin. I'll meet you at the batcave in an hour," Bruce nods disappearing into the night. Jason can't help but note he wasn't as good at disappearing as Dick was. Jason assumed it had something to do with Dick's training. Jason smiled a little remembering a time before Dick was Talon.
---
"I got you!" Dick launched himself at Jason laughing before running away. Jason cursed at Dick running after him. Jason slide down the railroad of the stairs almost crashing at the end. He looked everywhere for Dick but it was in vain.
"Master Jason why are you looking in that vase?" Jason jumped ten feet almost dropping the vase when Alfred appeared out of nowhere. Jason smiled sheepishly tucking his hands in his pockets. He kicked the ground hanging his head slightly.
"I'm trying to find Dick sir. We're playing hide and go seek tag," Alfred smiles at that setting down the basket he was carrying.
"Well let me help you then. Any idea where he might be?" The sounds of boyish laughter echoed from the ceiling. Both Alfred and Jason looked up at the ceiling in shock. Sitting in the chandelier was one Dick Grayson, his hair a mess.
"How did you get up there? Oh never mind get down before you get hurt!" Alfred mumbles to himself about going to find a ladder. Jason could see Dick's wicked smirk from here, and he knew he was going to do something stupid.
"Do you trust me Jay-bird?" Jason almost didn't want to say yes, he knew if he did Dick would do something totally crazy. Jason never did care about the consequences of his actions.
"Of course. I'll always trust you Dickie," Dick smiles and Jason watches in complete shock as he throws himself from the chandelier landing in a handstand on the railing of the floor above Jason. Dick then fell backwards doing a backflip, landing in a perfect roll a couple feet from Jason.
"Did I win?" Dick smiles wide standing tall and proud. Jason pouts slightly before nodding. His stomach growled and he decided he was hungry. Later he would declare Dick had cheated so he couldn't have won.
---
Jason arrived at the batcave an hour and ten minutes later. Tim, Damian, Bruce, and Alfred all stood huddled together talking in hushed voices about something. Jason cleared his throat finally getting their attention. Alfred nods at Bruce taking Tim and Damian upstairs. They are close in age like him and Dick where, they remind Jason a lot of him and Dick actually.
"Wanna explain this shit to me Bruce?" Jason knows something is wrong when Bruce doesn't reprimand him for his language. Bruce's face is more broody than normal, as if he was contemplating something big.
"I think I might have found a way to fix Dick," Jason tunes Bruce out after that sentence. Jason is looking right at him but not really. All he can see is Dick, a broken boy who Bruce swore they couldn't fix. What if Jason could get his Dick back? Not this Dick but his Dick? Is that what he wanted? Questions swam around his head but he pushed them away.
"How?" Jason caught Bruce off. Bruce looked angry for a second before he took a deep breath and continued.
"As I was saying, brains are difficult to navigate. Dick has built a wall around his memories so he can deal with everything he's done as a Talon. If we could somehow tear down the wall then Dick will possibly be fixed," the but might not have been said but Jason heard it clear as day.
"What's the downside?" Jason held his breath expecting the worst. Nothing in his life was easy so why would this be?
"Well first we have to break down the walls. And even if we do somebow break down the walls there's a small chance Dick will choose to stay a Talon. If he does choose to stay then there's nothing we can do," Jason nods, he knows Dick wouldn't choose to stay a Talon. Dick was too good for this world, he would never choose to be an assassin.
---
Jason watch's Dick roll out his shoulders yawning dramatically. Dick threw himself across Jason's back hanging his head upside down near Jason's shoulder. Jason tries to ignore him, Jason had homework to do.
"What do you want Dickie? I've got work to do," Dick drops his hand to cover Jason's work rolling off his back, taking the paper with him. Dick smiled his usual cocky smile and Jason's heart skipped one too many beats for it to be healthy.
"Why work on schoolwork when you can go out and punch bad guys?" Dick looked down at the paper with clear disgust. He rolled his eyes throwing it over his shoulder. Jason collected all his papers, there was no way I was going to get work done with Dick like this.
"That only helps so much. Plus next year we start high school so we have to be prepared. Unlike you I don't rely on my good looks to get notes so I can pass my classes," Dick shouts hey at that lounging at Jason. They wrestle a little bit both laughing. They are holding back, it's more an excuse to be close then anything.
"Hey Jay promise me you'll never let me turn evil, or go evil yourself," they had stopped wrestling and where laying down next to each other Jason rolled over leaning his head on his elbow looking down at Dick.
"What makes you say that?" Dick doesn't meet his eyes instead looking off to the side, playing with the end of his shirt. Jason waits watching Dick as Dick thinks of what to say.
"It's just we deal with so many bad people. I don't think I would be able to live with myself if it was you or me doing the killing," Jason rolled back to his back looking up at his ceiling. Dick's concerns are valid, Jason didn't think he'd be able to fight Dick either.
"Of course Dickie. I promise as long as you do," Jason could feel Dicks bright smile. It was always his smile it seemed. Jason didn't want to go a day in his life without seeing Dick's wonderful smile.
---
As much as Jason hated lying to Dick but he had to. Jason hadn't seen Dick's smile since that day but that didn't make his love of it disappear. If anything it made the desire for it worse. Bruce and Jason had come up with a good plan. Jason would lure him to a rooftop, sedate him and call Bruce. They would take him to the batcave, dress him up like Robin, and refuse to let him go until he remembered. Jason admits it wasn't his past idea but it was better than nothing.
"Hey Taon. I missed you," Jason knew Dick liked being called Dick not Talon. Dick stood still watching Jason. Dick was covered in red blood, Jason ignored the blood looking into Dick's covered eyes. Jason took a step forward and Dick's lips met his. It was a painful and all encompassing kiss. Jason whispered his sorry's against Dick's leg before stabbing him with the needle. Dick dropped like a bag of rice. Jason called Bruce doing his best to not look at Dick.
Jason watches Dick wake up tied to a spinny chair. Dick thrashes against the ropes but they hold tight. He looks around widely before his eyes land on Jason and Bruce. He narrowed his eyes betrayal clear on his face. Jason shrugged before turning away. He could only look at Dick for so long.
"How long until this works?" Jason watches Dick out of the corner of his eye. Dick's eyes don't leave him, he even keeps his feet planted on the ground so he doesn't spin even a little bit. It's been a long time since Jason had seen such a serious look on Dick's face.
---
"Shouldn't we be at homecoming?" Jason looks at Dick driving one of Bruce's cars. Dick had convinced Alfred they needed to practice driving so they could legally drive. Even though they both had been driving since they were eight, it was a flimsy excuse but Alfred let them go.
"We did that last year. I'm bringing you somewhere new," Dick sped up the car pulling into a dirt road. He parked the car in the middle of the forest getting out and pulling Jason out after him. Dick led him a little ways into the woods. For all Jason knew Dick could be leading him to his death. Dick glanced back smiling at Jason before picking up speed. Jason would follow Dick to his death if only to see his smile again. The scary thing was Jason thinks Dick knew that.
"Oh my God it's beautiful," Jason looks up at a beautiful sky filled with stars. They stand on the edge of a cliff overlooking Gotham and Blüdhaven. Jason looks down at Dick, he was staring not at the sky but at Jason.
"Not as beautiful as you," Dick smiled wrapping his arms around Jason's neck. Sometime between freshman and sophomore year Jason had grown taller than Dick. So Dick stood on his toes planting a kiss on Jason's lips. It was their first kiss and Jason was sure his heart had stopped. They had been dating for a little over a year, they were taking things slow.
"Dickie I love you," Jason slammed a hand over his mouth as soon as the words fall out. Dick's smile fades and he pulls away. Dick turns away from Jason heading back to the woods.
"I'll be right back I forgot something in the car," Dick leaves and Jason beats himself up for being so stupid as too let the word slip. Of course he didn't have long to beat himself up. Jason screamed when a knife was pressed against his throat.
"If you fight back I kill your little boyfriend," Jason went stock still willing the person holding him to leave Dick alone. He hoped Dick got in the car and drove far, far away.
"Hey Jay sorry about leaving like… Who are you?" Dick drops into a defensive stance when he notices the knife pressed to Jason's neck. The person holding Jason laughs pressing the knife more into Jason's neck.
"He doesn't have to get hurt. They want you Gray Son not him. Come with us peacefully and he doesn't get hurt," Dick meets Jason's eyes smiling a sad smile. Jason wants to scream at Dick, telling him to run and never look back.
"I'm sorry Jay-bird. Let him go I'll go with you guys," Dick stands up glaring at the person holding Jason. Jason wants to scream again when someone grabs Dick from behind. Dick drops something turning to try to fight the man. Only it was too late, the man and Dick were sent over the edge of the cliff. Jason manages to free himself of the person running to look over the edge of the cliff.
"Dick!" Jason screams watching the only person he's ever love fall to his death. Jason pulled away from the edge unable to wipe the image of Dick's smile as he falls from his mind. Jason has half a mind to follow Dick, but Dick wouldn't want that. Jason stood up on shaky legs looking at the spot where Dick was standing.
In Dick's spot was a ring with a tiny red gem in it. Carved on the inside of the sign is, "Jay-bird I love you," Jason holds the ring to his chest sobbing. It was clearly a promise ring that Dick was going to give to Jason. Jason sobs for the future he will never have.
---
"Honestly I don't know," Jason twirls the ring on his finger suddenly thinking of something stupid. It probably won't work, but it might. Jason decides it's the only possible way.
"Hey remember the night Dick died? Well we didn't go to the dance, we went to a cliff maybe if we go there it will remind him," Jason never told Bruce about his relationship with Dick, and honestly he never planned on telling him.
"I don't know if it's a good idea," Bruce looks at Dick before shaking his head no. Jason was angry that Bruce didn't trust him. The Bruce didn't trust Dick.
"Please. You can come with us," Bruce sighs at that thinking it offer in his head. Jason knew he had won the second Bruce had rubbed his forehead pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Fine do you remember which car it was?" Jason would never forget which car it was, he had drove it exactly two times in his life, once after the cliff incident and after Dick's funeral.
---
Jason was in no state to be driving. He was three sheets to the wind going ninety in a 25 mile per hour zone. Jason was in the car from the other night, a blue bmw that Dick loved to drive. The street lights blurred together as Jason blared music. He played the type of music Dick hated when he was alive.
It had been a month since the incident with Dick. No body was found so they buried an empty casket. Jason had told Bruce he resigned, they had fought about it and Jason took a car. Not Jason's smartest moment, but he was drunk, and grieving. Jason slowed down the car slightly pulling into an alley in the middle of Gotham. This was they alley where Dick first told him he like Jason.
"Why'd you have to leave me Dickie?" Jason sat on the hood of the car a glass of bourbon in his hand, he brought it to his lips only to realize it was empty. Hiccupy laughs bubbled out of him as he looked at the bleak sky.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Jason tried to stand stumbling slightly. Three very buff men with knives are looking at him like he's a piece of meat. Normal Jason would be able to fight them off in his sleep, but now he could barely stand. The three men moved closer and Jason attempted to make fists.
Two of the three men drop to the ground with a knife protruding from their chests. A person dressed in black and brown leather drops in front of Jason. Jason blinks rubbing at his eyes, the person in front of him kind of looks like an owl. The person kills the other man before turning to face Jason. The person tilts his head to the side looking at Jason questionably.
Jason goes to say thank you but the person clutches their head in pain an inhuman screech coming from their lips. Jason clutches his own head doing his best to cover his ears. Jason closes his eyes trying to will the noise away. The noise goes away and Jason opens his eyes to see the person dressed like an owl is also gone. So are the bodies actually.
Jason assumed he had imagined the whole thing. He returned the car, still drunk but with an apology on his lips. Alfred made him sleep at the manor, he slept in Dick's room hoping to feel closer to the boy.
---
"Dickie I love you," Jason held both of Dick's hands standing on the very same cliff where Jason last saw Dick smile. Jason watched Dick's eyes, Bruce said that they would turn blue when the walls broke down, they would stay blue if Dick won. Jason saw a faint hue of blue and knew what he had to do. Bruce sat a reasonable distance away seemingly only now connecting the dots.
Jason took off the ring holding it out for Dick. Dick doesn't reach for it instead staring at it like it was a bomb. Jason took Dick's hand and placed the ring on his palm. Jason closed Dick's fingers around it kissing his knuckle. "I do Dick, I promise I'll be yours if you come back to me."
Dick's eyes are closed and Jason can feel the tension coursing through him. "Jay?" Dick manages to say before stumbling into Jason's arms. Bruce rushes forward only stopping when Jason holds up his hand.
"Dick you promised me you wouldn't go evil. Time to make good on that promise," Jason holds Dick head in his hand waiting for him to open his eyes. Dick opens his eyes and they're golden, no hint of blue at all. Jason wants to cry thinking they've lost it all. But then he saw Dick's smile, the same one he fell in love with, the one Talon would never wear. "Dick?"
"Can't get rid of me that easy Jay," Jason kisses Dick uncaring that Bruce is watching. And for the first time in four years Dick kisses back and it's not a battle, it's peaceful and gentle and full of love. Dick pulls away to fall to a knee. "Jay-bird you've waited four years for me and not once did you give up on me. Let me show you that dedication for the rest of our lives."
"I do I mean I will. Fuck I wanna marry you Dickie," Dick smiles and Jason knows he'll never have to go another day without seeing Dick's perfect smile. He never wants to go another day without Dick's smile, and Dick seems happy enough to enable his addiction.
"Sorry to ruin the moment but you two have a lot of explaining to do," Dick pulls away for Jason finally seeing Bruce. Dick launches himself at Bruce engulfing him in a hug, and for the first time in four years Bruce actually smiles hugging Dick back.
"Later ok?" Bruce nods hugging Dick closer. Jason swears he can see a couple of tears trail down Bruce's cheek before he wipes them away. Jason can't claim him, if anyone asked he would deny to his deathbed that he was crying. Luckily no one was going to ask. Jason was really truly happy for the first time in a very long time.