Chapter Text
No one had seen Bloodhound leave their quarters in four days. The other champions living in the complex had started talking amongst themselves, wondering when they would come out. Some, like Anita, had tried knocking on their door to see if they would respond. The closest that Anita had ever got to a response was a muffled “leave me” from the other side of the door. Sometimes Makoa would visit and bring along food he had cooked with his boyfriend to leave outside. Bloodhound always took the food once he had left the door and gone down the stairs; they would have hated to waste the hard work and effort to bring them something. They were just grateful that the only other Legend who shared their floor of the complex was Alexander Nox. He tended to keep to himself and hadn’t tried bothering them at all. For four days, Bloodhound had been sneaking down into the communal kitchen to grab water bottles and small amounts of food in the middle of the night when they knew next to no one would be around, much less in the kitchen.
One late afternoon, Bloodhound was lying face down on their bed, their eyes burning and their hands clenched into fists. Their face was turned to the side, staring at their closed curtains. Slowly, they curled inwards on themself and wrapped their arms around their stomach, their fingers gripping onto the fabric of the loose shirt they wore. Some awful over sized shirt worn with holes and an old rock band logo emblazoned on the front that Elliot had left behind one night that they had never returned. It was something familiar and something comforting.
Bloodhound’s breathing ran ragged as they thought about leaving their room. Somehow it felt safer in their bed than anywhere else. They didn’t want to be seen by anyone. Their whole body felt wrong. They didn’t know how to explain how they felt and didn’t exactly feel like trying; especially to those who wouldn’t understand. Bloodhound’s eyes landed on the cracked mirror that they had propped against the wall and stared at their own reflection. They looked like a sad and sorry mess, their hair unbrushed and dark circles under their eyes. They bared their sharp teeth at their reflection and reached back to grab a pillow to throw at the mirror. Stupid.
There were three quiet knocks at the door and Bloodhound sat upright, crossing their legs. A soft voice called out to them and they almost smiled. “Come in,” they said, just loud enough to be heard, and the door opened.
Natalie took a step inside Bloodhound’s room and immediately closed the door behind her, rescuing them from the prying eyes of any champions who might be lurking around. It was still considered a rare sight for the champions to see Bloodhound’s entire face uncovered. She tucked her short hair behind her ear and her eyes flicked around the room, avoiding Bloodhound entirely. They took no offense. She was one of the few people that they had trusted to see them without any form of covering over their face but they also knew she didn’t like eye contact. That suited them just fine; they also hated it.
“I am sorry,” Bloodhound said quietly, their shaky hands twisting in their lap. They were struggling to keep their breathing even; the thought of having a friend see them in such a way was beginning to instill panic in them. “I have allowed my quarters to become quite the mess. I know you don’t like that.”
“T’inquiète pas... I do not mind the mess,” she took a step forward before gesturing towards the edge of the bed. Bloodhound nodded and she sat, folding her hands in her lap. “I am here to check on you. Others are worried. As am I. And I wanted to ask if you are okay, doudou.”
Bloodhound was quiet as they tried to steady their breathing. Guilt crept in the back of their mind, pushing forward. They knew others were worrying about them. They didn’t feel as though they deserved people thinking about them like that. They must be an awful person to bring these wonderful people such worry. They looked up to see Natalie’s face, so full of concern for them and the wall holding their feelings back inside them broke. The panic they had been pushing aside bubbled up in their chest and their breathing began coming out in quiet gasps. Bloodhound’s eyes filled with tears and their hands came up to tangle in their hair, pulling. They slowly rocked as their hands shook and the tears finally spilled from their eyes.
Natalie reached out a hand. “Bloth...” their breathing hitched at the familiar nickname. “Is this okay?” They nodded quickly and Natalie’s hands came up to rest over their own. She slowly pulled their hands from their hair and lowered them down to prevent any more harm.
“Do you wish to talk?” Natalie asked quietly. Bloodhound shook their head. “Would you like me to leave you?”
Bloodhound make a choked noise and their eyes blurred as their head shook again. Their whole body quaked as Natalie gave their hands a gentle squeeze. She was whispering quiet things to Bloodhound in her native tongue that they couldn’t understand but they felt the comfort behind her words nonetheless. She knew they wouldn’t understand her exact words, but knew they would understand the meaning behind them. She just held onto their hands, a grounding weight, and talked as Bloodhound’s breathing slowed. They heard Natalie ask them if they could match her breathing. In and out. Careful. You are okay. You are safe. You are home.
Slowly, Bloodhound’s breathing returned to normal and the tears stopped. With a slight tremor still left in their hands, Bloodhound let out a deep breath and blinked. “I-I am sorry you had to witness this.”
“Do not apologize, mon ami,” Natalie’s soft grip on Bloodhound’s hands shifted. “I understand. I sometimes have similar moments. Meltdowns is what papa called them. Effondrement. When everything gets to be too much.”
“Too much...hrynja. Já. Vondur."
“Bloth, do you remember my first time competing in the games? How I held the squad back fifteen minutes longer than we needed because I panicked after getting knocked?” Bloodhound nodded slowly, tilting their head in confusion. Natalie smiled softly and patted Bloodhound’s hand. “You were the one who sat with me and helped me to slow my breathing. Our third member wanted to leave me behind to bleed out. Come back for my banner later. But you knew how I was feeling. And you helped me. You didn’t even know me then.”
“I wanted to ensure that you would be alright.” Bloodhound said quietly, rubbing their wet cheek with their free hand.
“That is what we do, non?” Natalie’s gaze drifted back to Bloodhound for a moment. “We help each other. That is what friends do.”
After a moment of quiet, Natalie looked around the room and her nose wrinkled slightly. Her leg shook up and down in a rhythm and her long fingernails were tapping against the back of Bloodhound’s hands. Bloodhound blinked slowly and looked around their room. Their armour hung in the corner of the room, reminding them of all the games that they had missed. More guilt. Clothes and loose knives lay scattered across the floor. Messy and a safety hazard. There was a stack of books lying on the floor by their desk. Disorganized. They worried for the health of their plants, noticing that some were drooping in their pots and planters around their room. They hadn’t been as diligent as usual in keeping them all watered. Bloodhound caught sight of Artur’s stand by the window and they frowned. They had sent Artur away to hunt and fly freely while they had locked themselves away in solitude. He could survive fine by himself but they knew he would be so worried about them.
“Would you like me to send for anyone?”
Tears pricked behind Bloodhound’s eyes again and they bit their lip. “I would like to see Elliot.”