Work Text:
Crack.
"Fuck!"
"Language."
Apollo looked to the side in shock and quickly stretched out his arm, he wanted to save the last bottle of wine that was just about to get to know the ground, but unfortunately he had been too slow.
"Fuck."
"Language", Ares replied dryly, and Apollo glared at him.
Ares stepped aside and Apollo looked down. All around them were all the bottles of wine, which had fallen down from Dionysos' shelf by accident, and all that because Ares couldn't control his temper.
(Not that Apollo had done something to it with small provocations, but that was another story.)
"What do we do now?" Apollo asked angrily.
"How about cleaning up before Dionysos sees this and has a heart attack?" Ares suggested logically and Apollo nodded in agreement. Not that Dionysos would have an heart attack either way but you could prevent it. Somehow. Even if the suggestion was unusual from Ares, whose only solutions are 'Hit it!' and 'kill it!'.
He pushed Ares' sturdy body aside and went over to the other side of the kitchen, getting a broom and towels out of the closet. He threw the broom to Ares and took the towels.
"Then sweep up the broken pieces," said Apollo.
"Aye." Ares went straight to clear the shards of the ground. "How long is Dionysos gone? Maybe we have time to send Athena to get new wine bottles so that he doesn't notice anything."
Apollo looked up and frowned as he soaked up the red liquid with the towels. "You honestly don't think your half-sister would help us out of there?"
"It would be worth a try. Otherwise, he'll notice anyway," Ares said with a sigh and waved the broom a little, let some of the wine dropping from the bristles and staining the wall.
"Would you please be careful?" Apollo hissed. "Hera, if she sees the kitchen looks like this, throw us both down of the mountain!"
"Calm down, your drama queen is showing again."
Apollo made a sound that only came from someone who felt genuinely attacked by it. Offended.
"Wow, what happened here?"
Ares and Apollo both jerked their heads around and saw Hermes standing in the door frame. Legs crossed, arms crossed over his chest, he was holding a wine glass in his left hand. An amused grin graced his lips and his blue eyes eyed the scene with amused attention.
"We accidentally smashed Dionysos' wine storage after Apollo had pressed me against him because he.."
Apollo reacted quickly and put Ares a hand over his mouth to prevent him from talking further.
"So? So it was you?" Hermes said with a grin and waved the glass thoughtfully. "It would really be a shame if he couldn't see the masterpiece of both of you here, especially under these circumstances on your part and on both of you as a functioning house worker." Hermes winked meaningfully.
Apollo's mouth opened, but before he could say anything, Hermes had already disappeared laughing. Frustrated, he threw the red soaked towel on the floor.
Ares looked at him. "We are so dead."
Apollo looked back. "You can say that out loud."
*
Hermes had left giggling and sipped the wine.
He had done a good job with it and it had only taken a snap.
He grinned wryly.
Dionysos's speech later will not be so worth it, because once the god of wine saw that his beloved shelf with his supplies was broken ... you'd be reluctant to stand on his nasty side but Ares with a broom and seeing Apollo on his knees with towels in the kitchen was definitely worth it!
He waved his glass of wine in his hand and sipped it.
"Have you two lost your mind ?! My stash! Just see what you did!"
Hermes grin widened. Oh yeah. It was fun.