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Finn woke up because of Poe’s tossing and turning in his sleep. It happened quite often nowadays. Poe would toss and turn and mumble in his sleep, as if he was having a bad dream. It often helped with Finn gently shaking Poe’s shoulder until he was awake enough to realise he had been dreaming, and then wrapping his arms around him. Finn would whisper sweet nothings whilst Poe clung to him, until his breathing slowed and he fell asleep again.
This time when Finn woke up, Poe was sitting up, legs over the side of the bunk. Finn blinked himself awake, at first having a bit of trouble distinguishing the shadows in the small sleeping area of the Falcon. A few moments later, he recognised Poe’s form. Finn could see that Poe was strained, in a bad mood. There was this tense quality to his posture. Poe had his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. Finn gently reached out to brush his hand up Poe’s side.
“Having trouble sleeping?” Finn asked softly.
Poe lifted his head from hands and threw a glance over his shoulder, meeting Finn’s eyes.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”
Finn shook his head instinctively.
“It doesn’t matter.” He propped himself up on his elbows and studied Poe for a moment. He had to suppress a yawn, but Poe immediately noticed.
“I’ll let you sleep. I’ll take a walk.”
Poe stood up, pulled on his pants and shirt and left the sleeping area. Finn watched him silently. There wasn’t anything he could do for Poe, but boy did he wish there was.
There was, of course, no possibility of an actual walk whilst being on a spacecraft in the middle of space, in a star system far, far away, but Finn knew Poe would make do. Poe spent many nights nowadays pacing back and forth in the half-moon of open area that was the inside of the Falcon, and Finn let him be. At least until he could hear how Poe’s footsteps were no longer heard, and he either came back to bed or settled somewhere else in the the ship. Most of the time, Poe came back to the bunk and cuddled up to Finn, held him close until they both fell back asleep.
Finn drifted off to sleep again, but it was a restless one. He woke up a while later, and he had no clue for how long he’d slept this time. He sat up in the bunk and rubbed his eyes with his hands. He was still alone in the bunk. With a deep sigh, he got out, pulled on his clothes and went to find Poe.
By the holochess table, Finn found Chewie. The Wookiee looked up when he heard Finn approaching.
“He in there?” Finn asked and motioned towards the flight cabin. Chewie nodded and gave a short sound.
“Thanks for keeping an eye on him for me.”
Chewie stood and gave a series of soft sounds as he walked past Finn, back towards his little cabin. Chewie was right. They all had to look out for each other, especially in times like these, when all the odds seemed stacked up against them and they seemed all alone in the fight against the First Order.
Finn turned to watch Chewie disappear around a corner before he walked into the flight cabin.
Poe was sitting in the pilot’s chair, looking out at space. Finn stopped to lean against the frame of the opening, also looking out through the big windows. They had parked the Falcon against a large part of an asteroid belt, and the empty space outside was vast. The stars out there looked to be in the thousands, in the millions, more than you could count.
“Having a rough night?”
Finn pushed off the frame and took the steps needed to reach the pilot’s chair, standing inbetween it and the co-pilot's chair.
“Isn’t it always.” Poe kept looking at the stars.
Finn reached out and placed his hand on Poe’s shoulder, squeezing gently. Poe lifted his own hand and took ahold of Finn’s, lacing their fingers together. He moved their hands to his mouth, ghosting his lips across the skin on the back of Finn’s hand.
It made Finn’s chest feel warm and tight.
“What’s eating you?” Finn asked, voice soft and gentle. Poe let out a long breath and shrugged.
“All of it.” There was a weariness to Poe’s words, a hopelessness to his voice that hadn’t been there before Crait. Finn lifted their hands to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the back of Poe’s hand before he let go and sat down in the co-pilot’s chair. He turned to look at Poe, who had leaned back into the chair and crossed his arms over his chest.
“It’s so much, Finn. So many people depend on us, but no one came.”
“We just have to hang on to hope.”
Poe finally looked at him then, a deep line of worry between his eyebrows.
“I... I don’t know, Finn. It’s not that easy for me. I have hoped for so long.” Poe’s voice wavered a bit, and the man closed his eyes, drawing in a deep breath through his nose. He sat silent for a while, and Finn knew he was trying to stabilise himself.
It was scary to hear Poe speak like this. Poe had always been the one with the unwavering belief and the one to laugh in the face of danger. When Finn has laid down his weapon and deserted from the First Order, Poe had been the one to show him the fight of the people, to show him that there was a chance to defeat the immense war machine. Finn had been lost and scared and Poe had been a stable ground to stand on. Finn supposed that the war had changed them all. Perhaps it was time for Finn to be the stable ground now.
“I don’t feel the force, Finn. Not like Rey.” Poe opened his eyes again, looking straight at Finn. “Not like you. I don’t have any of that. I just have...” Poe made a sweeping motions at the stars. “...I just have the belief in all the people that need our help.” He gave a deep sigh, a sigh that made him sound many years older than he really was. “In the people that evidently didn’t believe in us.”
Finn didn’t know what do say to that. Finn and Poe looked at each other for a while before they both turned to look back at space.
After a while, Finn cleared his throat.
“There was this pilot that I helped escaped from this really evil guy once. I was scared shitless and I had no idea if the plan I had was gonna work, but that pilot took one look at me and said ‘We’re gonna do this.’”
Poe gave a little snort of a laugh.
“Must have been very confident, this pilot of yours.”
“Very.”
Finn turned to look at Poe, who was already looking at him.
“Tell me more about this pilot.” Poe shifted in the pilot’s chair so his upper body was facing Finn.
“He’s headstrong, and proud, and brave, and he’s loyal, and loving, and takes too much upon himself.” Finn looked at Poe with deep sincerety as he spoke.
Poe’s smile faltered just the slightest af the last part, as if he was told a truth he didn’t really want to hear. Poe reached out and arm and indicated for Finn to come closer with a wave of his hand. Finn stood and stepped closer to Poe, who wrapped an arm around Finn’s middle and pressed his face into the front of Finn’s shirt. Finn lifted his hands to card through Poe’s wavy hair.
“I hope he’s nice to you, this pilot,” Poe mumbled.
Finn smiled to himself.
“He is. I just think he’s not that nice to himself, sometimes.”
Poe was silent for a long while, hugging Finn close.
“Did I ever tell you about this one resistance fighter that busted me out of a First Order base once?” Poe said into Finn’s shirt. Finn smiled widely.
“I don’t think you did.”
Poe leaned back a bit, allowing him to look at Finn’s face.
“He’s headstrong, and proud, and brave, and loving, and has way too much patience with me.”
Flynn grinned, a warm feeling spreading throughout his limbs.
“He sounds amazing.”
Poe grinned back.
“He really, really is.”
Flynn leaned down and forward and Poe stretched upwards, meeting him halfway. Their lips met in a soft kiss.
All they really could do was to look out for each other.