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"One macchiato and one cafe latte it is."
The waiter strode away to the counter and Junhee took a pen between his fingers, pushing the tip into his cheek mindlessly.
"That pen won't write on its own, you know that?"
Junhee smiled. "We don't have to start right away. We can wait until we get our drinks."
Donghun leaned back in his seat. "Alright. But then we're starting for real. No slacking off."
"I can get behind that." The smile didn't leave his face.
"What are you so happy about?" Donghun, as good a student as he was, had never understood people who got enthusiastic at the thought of studying. "We're working on literature homework."
"Don't you think the setting's nice? Good coffee, good company. That makes up for the rest."
Junhee was particularly talented at embarrassing comments so offhand that there wasn't much room for awkwardness on his part. It had taken some time for Donghun to adjust to it but now, instead of cringing so hard even Junhee could get uncomfortable, he just ignored it or dismissed it with an indifference that would throw off anyone but Junhee who, on the contrary, seemed further encouraged.
"You're not gonna be saying the same thing when we get into Victor Hugo," Donghun replied. He brought his backpack onto his lap and slapped multiple textbooks and notebooks on the wooden table, followed by a very plain pencil case. In comparison, Junhee's side of the table was a great color contrast: a transparent, holographic pencil case contained pens and highlighters of multiple colors and stood proudly on top of equally inconspicuous notebooks, covered with stickers that didn't follow one single theme but were rather all over the place. Donghun suspected Junhee spent way too much time on the stationery side of Tumblr and was still experimenting with his aesthetic style.
"I don't have anything against his works. Some writers are way more fastidious to read, don't you think? It's just that anything becomes tedious when it's homework."
Of course it made sense, but Donghun still liked his books better when he didn't have to dissect each and every part of their story - though he didn't have any right to complain, as no one had held him at gunpoint when he had chosen his major. He sighed under Junhee's shiny eyes, wondering how one could simultaneously love and hate their studies so much.
"For you, sir," said the server, putting the macchiato in front of Donghun, "and that's for you, sir," he added before leaving, not without shooting an appreciative look at Donghun.
Junhee sunk further into his chair, one eyebrow raised. "Did you see that?"
Donghun shrugged. He was red in the face, but if he could still save the situation... "See what?"
"This guy. The way he was looking at you." Donghun involuntarily turned his head to watch the guy in question. "That was not a professional, 'I'm-just-being-polite' kind of look. If he could eat you instead of that donut over there, you wouldn't be sitting in front of me right now."
Fuck. Why did Junhee have to say it like that? Donghun held back a whine and sat up straight, rolling his eyes and putting on his best nonchalant voice to say, "You know I only have eyes for you. I was watching your beautiful smile, didn't you see? He had to speak for me to notice he was back."
Much to his surprise, Junhee didn't smile. Instead, his eyes grew wide briefly and he suddenly touched his ears which, Donghun realized, had turned noticeably red. Practically a first for Donghun. Junhee seemed dumbfounded for a moment and then, finally, a big smile crept up his face and Donghun had the unpleasant realization that his words weren't just meant to throw him off and that he very much liked Junhee's reaction.
"You're really cute, Donghun, you know that?" Junhee wrapped his hands around his latte to warm up his hands and sighed contentedly. "You might just make my heart flutter if you keep bluffing like this."
Donghun let out a small "tch" and silence started to stretch out but before it could become uncomfortable, he slapped his textbook and declared the study session open.
As the minutes transformed into one, then two hours, each of them managed to focus on the material at hand but the cozy setting made it so that they felt more at ease with each other than they usually did in class or in the university corridors. The warm lights and soft colors of the café seemed to make the classmate barrier unnecessary and preposterous. Though they were undoubtedly friends, they didn't hang out that frequently with only the two of them, so when Junhee had insisted for almost two weeks for them to have a 'study date', Donghun had felt both weird and excited. Because it was an opportunity to deepen their friendship in a new way, obviously. The term 'date' hadn't, of course, influenced how he'd felt about the whole thing at all.
"The social commentary in Les Misérables is really amazing. I mean, it's nothing new, but actually discerning it while you read it yourself feels different, doesn't it?" Junhee slid his thin round glasses up his nose with a thoughtful look. "I've wanted to read the entire book for years but I never got to it and now that we're studying it, I kinda wish I spoke French to read the original version. 'Like the stars in the sky separated by millions of leagues, they lived by gazing upon each other.' How good must that sound in French..."
Hot. What Donghun liked more than Junhee being bubbly was Junhee showing he was smart. But Junhee would definitely never hear of that. "You don't speak a word of French, except baguette and bonjour, probably. But yeah, it must have a nice ring to it."
"Speaking of that, haven't you studied French for a few semesters? Are you even nearly good enough to read something like that?" Junhee seemed really interested, for some reason.
Donghun gave him another shrug. "Three years are not enough to reach that level. Plus, this isn't modern language..." Junhee's face showed a mixture of admiration and slight disappointment. "-But my pronunciation's pretty good, judging from all the feedback I've gotten so far!"
"Tell me something romantic in French."
The request came as a surprise; because, first, Donghun had no idea what to say, and second, because it was as embarrassing as it could get - as always, but this time Donghun had no way to make this not awkward.
He had two options: 1) making fun of Junhee by telling him something unforgivably dumb, or 2) taking this opportunity to let out a bit of the pent-up frustration from the last hour, during which he'd caught himself staring at Junhee a little too often.
"Uh... hold on. I've gotta think." He ruffled his hair - noticed that Junhee's eyes followed the movement - and quickly decided that he probably wouldn't get a better chance to express his feelings without Junhee realizing it. He hoped that Junhee really did not speak one word of French. "Je te l'ai pas dit, mais tes lunettes te vont vraiment hyper bien. C'est fou comme t'es magnifique." I haven't told you, but your glasses really suit you. It's crazy how stunning you are. Mortifying.
Junhee's eyes sparkled. Donghun had to fight really hard to not die on the spot. He'd never felt such an urge to pour a burning cup of coffee onto his own face.
"I think I understood something!" Junhee beamed.
Donghun froze. As Junhee showed his teeth in a big smile, he stuttered. "Wh-what have you even understood? I-it wasn't even a real compl-"
"Wasn't there like the word for 'hair'? Something about having nice hair, maybe?" Junhee looked really proud and Donghun would have felt bad for him if it wasn't for the escape route his friend had just given him. Bless Park Junhee for his ignorance.
"Yeah, exactly. I totally said you have nice hair." He huffed and smiled slightly while Junhee frowned.
"I've seen you being more romantic." Donghun raised an eyebrow - he really didn't see what Junhee was referring to. "When you sing, for example."
"Ah." But singing wasn't the same. It was easy to hide behind a song and pretend you were just interpreting the lyrics, putting on an act. To Donghun, talking with an open heart was much harder than learning singing techniques and practicing for hours just to convey the right emotions. Fake emotions take time to be convincing, real ones take time to feel comfortable enough to be exposed. "Well, you should know me by now. I'm not a romantic soul."
"Liar." The mischief appeared on Junhee's face. "As much as you try to appear tough and indifferent, I know just how soft a person you are. You're not fooling me. Not anymore."
Junhee was easy-going, not oblivious. Donghun wanted to consider that a flaw: how was he supposed to keep his shield up and going if Junhee was going to break past it? He sighed in defeat.
"You observe people too much. I still can't believe you didn't choose to study psychology."
Junhee laughed, an innocent but proud laugh. "I would've, but my instinct told me I'd feel more fulfilled by getting into literature." He leaned in, smiled, once again, and whispered, "And I was right. I met you."
Donghun died a little inside. Talent. That man had talent. "How in the world do you never get embarrassed by the things you say?"
"You get enough second-hand embarrassment for the both of us. And I like to show my affection that way!"
"Fair enough. You've got an overflowing stock of affection, if that's so." Not that I mind.
"Haha, you're a special case." Donghun rolled his eyes and reached for his book again, but Junhee put one hand on his. "I'm not kidding! I've always got this urge to smother you in my cheesiness. I wonder why?" His expression didn't show wonder; he looked like he very much knew why exactly he wanted to shower Donghun with affection.
Donghun huffed. Junhee was making this hard. Being carefree was good, but when it came to the point where he couldn't tell whether Junhee was being serious or not, it was more like a headache.
"Yeah, I know, that's because you love me, you can't take your eyes off me, blah, blah, blah."
"Yeah."
No smile. No sparkle. Wait, no, a sparkle. But no mischief in it. Just intensity.
"Does the idea repulse you that much?"
Donghun's eyes grew wide. Repulse? The idea of Junhee loving him, repulse him? And what was Junhee being so serious for?
"Not really. You've been joking about it for months."
Junhee had a smirk, but it wasn't relaxed or playful. He shook his head. He seemed... disappointed.
"Joking." He rested his head on the back of his chair. "Aaand here I went, doing that shit again."
Donghun waited for him to keep talking, but nothing came.
"Doing what again?" He waited again for the answer, heartbeat picking up the pace and catching up with the stress.
"I failed to show my sincerity. Hid behind that stupid happy-go-lucky facade. Listen, I don't want to make this awkward right now. We can just change the topic and get back to our nice dissertation, you know, just not talk about it ever again."
"Hey! Aren't you the one who brought the subject on the table? Now you've gotta carry on." Donghun breathed deeply. He felt like he could explode any moment, but he had to take control of the conversation now or the momentum would be lost and the topic buried forever. Needless to say, he'd rather suffer a very serious, very cathartic conversation than a feeling that something was wrong between them. This was now or never. "You know we're gonna be even more uneasy if you just stop here. S-so... just say what's on your mind."
Junhee bit his lower lip. He looked up at Donghun with a timidity that was unnatural on him. "You sure? Okay... Let me be straightforward." He closed his eyes. "Most jokes I make contain a truth. See what I'm getting at?"
Donghun was starting to sweat. "Uh... yeah?"
"I genuinely do like you. Seriously. I'm being a hundred percent serious." He buried his face in his hands. "Oh my god. I can't believe I said something so embarrassing!"
Donghun sat up straight, dazed but baffled. "W-wait. You're embarrassed now, of all moments? You... you do realize you've said much cringier things in the past, right?"
Junhee shook his head frantically. "But I'm being honest here! I usually play it off as a joke and it's always worked, so now that I have to be serious, it feels horrible!"
Donghun hesitated. Did he want to be moved or outraged by Junhee's reactions? He was so relieved and dumbfounded at the same time that he had no idea of the appropriate response, and Junhee was absolutely not helping.
"Listen, I know a lot about embarrassment, believe me. Once you get used to it, it's pretty easy. Now do you understand how I feel every time you throw one of your cheesy pick-up lines so casually?"
"I hate this feeling, oh my god, I might even puke," Junhee whined, hands still hiding his face that was noticeably flushed. His eyebrows were knit in displeasure and he was slumped on his side of the table. "Can't you just act like usual, shoot me your coldest look and pretend like that last bit of the conversation never happened?"
Donghun chuckled. "Never. Now it's your turn to feel awkward." Not gonna lie, I don't exactly feel relaxed either.
"Urghh... preparing to die in one, two..." The blond boy was now covering his face completely; he seemed so vulnerable that Donghun would have hugged him if it hadn't been for the current situation.
"Ah, screw it. I like you too, dumbass!"
Junhee instantly straightened up with a dramatic gasp. "W-what did you-" He choked before he could finish. It took a minute for him to recover, and then he looked at Donghun with eyes so wide his friend feared they would pop out of his head. "You LIKE me? As in like LIKE??"
"Yes, as in like like," Donghun replied, with utmost patience.
"Oh my god. Oh my god. That's like- a dream, or-"
"Or reality. For fuck's sake, Junhee, you're making this more awkward for you than it is for me. And stop waving your hands around!" he added, grabbing his wrist to bring his arm back on the table.
Junhee stopped moving and, as if in a trance, he stared at Donghun. Blinked a few times. Blurted out:
"Can I kiss you?"
Brain malfunction. Donghun dropped the pen he realized he'd been holding onto for dear life. Right now? Of course, he'd dreamed about it more than a few times; but he needed thorough preparation to ready his body and mind to the touch of Junhee's lips. They'd barely just jumped to a level he'd never have imagined, and he wanted to kiss him?
Yeah. Junhee wanted to kiss him. And Donghun wanted to kiss him too, no matter how much of a surprise the request was.
"I've waited too long. Come here, now."
Junhee smiled; he was pure, he was bright, he was glorious. He stood up, leaned in slowly and, as he got closer to Donghun's face, he shut his eyes as if he was about to commit a sin, but it contrasted too much with his big smile to be mistaken for any kind of reluctance.
His lips touched Donghun's, and it was as if the universe had exploded inside him. His own eyes shut by reflex and he let himself get bewitched by the wonderful sensation. Everything around them vanished, only the scent of coffee remained, only with the sound of Junhee stumbling over the table to grab Donghun's fluffy hair from behind and get even closer. Donghun took hold of the nape of his neck and Junhee sighed while he kept kissing him with increasing greed. With his free hand, Donghun gripped at Junhee's soft sweater as if he wanted to never let go. As he was sitting with Jun above him, he caught himself sighing too and suddenly, he felt immensely self-conscious; the feeling of Junhee's lips, Junhee's hands on him, Junhee's heavy breaths was overwhelming but he couldn't help coming back to reality as he remembered they were in the middle of a very public café, in the middle of very real people who were probably starting to stare; Donghun opened his eyes, and Junhee was already looking at him in a daze. They broke apart softly, embarrassed, red and breathless.
"We're... we're gonna get thrown out," Junhee huffed with a small, guilty smile.
"Y-yeah..." Donghun sat back up while Junhee regained his seat. He couldn't look at him in the eye, but he couldn't stop staring at Junhee's face either: he was flushed, his hair severely disheveled, his round glasses had half fallen from his nose and his sweater had shifted into a weird position under the force of their embrace. In other words, he looked absolutely gorgeous.
"Do... do you want to keep studying? Maybe we can resume this conversation later?" Junhee suggested in a small voice.
"Right... right." Donghun shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. "But I'm warning you. I won't be able to stay focused for long. Just- just saying."
Junhee bit his lip and put a warm hand on Donghun's arm. "Me either. We'll just wrap that last part up, and then..."
"And then we get out of here and go to-" he stopped to think, quickly. "-to my place."
When Junhee's eyes widened, he flinched - was he too fast? He didn't want Junhee to get the wrong idea; he wasn't implying anything more than what his words said - okay, they probably wouldn't be playing cards, but that remained to be seen. He opened his mouth, about to retract his statement, when-
"Okay. Oh my god, okay." Junhee's eyes were sparkling, and his lips were stretched as though he was the happiest person in the world. "I-I really gotta stop saying 'oh my god' so much."
"No, you don't have to. I feel kinda flattered," Donghun replied, his own face bright with euphoria. He still wasn't really processing the situation.
"You should be." Junhee gazed at him, blinking like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. "You're so beautiful, you know that."
"Oh god, please stop."
"No, you stop. Learn to take my compliments for once," Junhee said, the mischievous glint back in his eyes. "You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beau-ti-ful."
Donghun buried his face in his hands. "Y'know what? Fuck off, Junhee."
"Aww, you like it! You like this so much you can't even take it face to face!" Junhee did a little jump in his seat. Why did he have to be so happy with himself?
Ah, fuck that. Why couldn't Junhee be the embarrassed one for once? Why was he so lethal?
"-on top of being beautiful, you're so adorable my heart just squeezes every time I see you-" Junhee continued, visibly very pleased with Donghun's reaction.
"When I spoke French earlier, I said you looked fucking hot with your glasses, not that you had nice hair. Although that is also true," Donghun deadpanned with the best of his ability.
"-and I love- excuse me what?" Junhee stopped straight off, eyes big and round like a fish, eyebrows frozen high on his forehead.
"I said you looked fucking hot with your glasses." Donghun was starting to understand the delectation one got when they were teasing the crap out of someone else. It was fun. Really fun. Maybe he would do it more often.
"I-"
"You're insanely hot with those glasses," Donghun repeated, in a whisper, next to Junhee's ear.
Junhee shivered and moved away, a frown on his face and his lips pursed.
"Stop right now," he said with a hand held up to Donghun's face. "I'm going to faint. Boundless provocation is my area, you can't be better at it than me."
His act was poorly executed. Donghun had never seen anyone so red for so long and the way he kept fiddling with his sweater's collar gave it all away; he was enjoying it, and not just a little.
"Alright, alright. Get back to that book, then?" He repressed a smile, as Junhee smiled weakly and nodded, although not with much heart.
Ten minutes later, the same waiter than earlier was back and asking if they needed more refreshments. They both declined with a large smile, and the waiter seemed kind of stunned when he walked away.
"He totally finds you hot," Junhee commented.
"Yeah, but he didn't seem repulsed by you either."
"Do you think he got his imagination running wild after he saw us- you know...?"
"Holy shit, maybe he did. He did have that kinda look."
"I mean, we are a power couple." Junhee shrugged smugly. Donghun laughed before it hit him. Couple. Yep, they were a couple. The thought was both weird and exquisite.
He jumped when Junhee slapped both his hands on the table.
"Alright, I can't do this anymore. You're packing your stuff and coming with me. Right now."
Donghun raised his eyebrows. "Just like that? You don't wanna finish this part?"
"NO."
"Alllllright." Donghun chuckled and shoved his books and pens in his bag without any consideration. Junhee was rushing him to the exit by dragging him by the wrist when they realized they hadn't even paid. Junhee muttered a very audible 'ah, fuck' and practically ran to the counter to pay for both of their drinks before Donghun could even protest. When he came back, Donghun pushed him out of the café and as soon as they stepped foot on the sidewalk, Donghun pushed him again, as softly as possible, this time against the wall nearest to the café's doors.
"Can I?" he asked, breathless.
Junhee nodded and Donghun pressed his lips against his, and it was as explosive as the first time. He felt his stomach churn uncontrollably as he brought his hand to the side of Junhee's face to kiss him at a better angle. Junhee put both hands on Donghun's hips and it was as if a flood of love poured out of his body. He was torn between the desire to smother Junhee in a hug and to kiss him until he died (both of which sounded somewhat over the top. Maybe Donghun was a bit too in the moment.).
They thought to unstick their faces when a girl shouted 'yo, will you stop sucking on each other? It ain't free real estate here!'. They felt ashamed (that seemed to be a recurrent theme that day) - not only had everyone in the café seen them make out, they'd also made a show of themselves in the street; was Donghun that smitten? He usually liked to keep a low profile, but with Junhee, one look, one touch was enough to make him go lightheaded and forget all his inhibitions.
Junhee kept his hands on his hips and, when he looked at Donghun with those beautiful eyes, his heart melted. He was that smitten.
"Let's go? To your place?" Junhee asked shyly.
Donghun broke into a dumb smile.
"Let's go."