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What did I do?
Crimson coloured eyes stared blankly upwards, tracing patterns into the clean, white tiles overhead. Silence rung in his ears, but thoughts and memories weight heavy on the young hero's mind, the events of the previous two days playing on rewind.
What did I do?
He could still hear the cries for help, the yells of his friends, screaming at him to move. To do something. He could still taste smoke and blood, on the tip of his tongue despite it being cleaned off long ago. He could still feel his tattered costume sticking against his sweat-laden body, covered in soot and dirt and all sorts of debris.
What did I do?
He remembered he had been facing a tenacious villain, one that he and Deku had been essentially 'hunting down' for the past three months, at least. A man who could outmaneuver even the proclaimed Wonder Duo, of all heroes.
Katsuki and Deku had only been heroes for around five years now - and in all of that time, they had not yet come across a villain who could make them chase tail for more than a week, the League excused.
All except the man they had come to know as 'Torrent'.
A dangerous man who seemed set on stirring up trouble, the heroes who had faced him weren't entirely sure on what his quirk really do, except it was some sort of extreme weather manipulation. He'd been shown to cause a vast arrangement of weather - from storms, to hail, to snow and even fire tornadoes.
Even with Katsuki and Deku working together - it was almost as if the other man had several quirks, with how quickly he could change the weather and make his escape.
They'd run into the villain again, and Katsuki had decided enough was enough. The man in question had sent a blast of dangerous high wind through some apartment buildings, leaving the buildings almost destroyed and civilians in need of saving. Their job had been to get the civilians out safely first...
But then Katsuki had seen him. And his vision went red.
He'd screamed at Deku to start evacuating victims before blasting off after the escaping man, his explosion quirk boosting him along. Deku had tried to stop him-- but there were people in need, and he couldn't just abandon them.
Not when the buildings looked as if they were going to fall.
Despite having grown and mellowed out...Katsuki still had a bit of a short fuse. And here, it had decided to come and bite him on the ass.
He didn't know how the guy's quirk worked, let alone a way to possibly take him down and immobilize him long enough for Deku to catch up...he hadn't been thinking straight, he could admit that much. He could admit defeat.
Failure.
So...what did I do?
Nothing...absolutely fucking nothing.
Katsuki had been no match for the villain, not even with his rage-filled mind that made him act before thinking. The explosive hero prided himself on his reaction times, on his prowess, on his fighting experience, years of that skill honed into his very bones.
But it still had been no match, not alone.
Torrent had toyed with him. He'd batted the hero around as if the two were playing cat and mouse - as if Katsuki was the prey, in this scenario.
Torrent knew Katsuki - the hero, Ground Zero - was no match for him, and it had only served to make Katsuki angrier as the minutes ticked by. As Katsuki got worn down, expending all of his energy into firing off blasts...he'd been so angry, that he hadn't accounted much for his surrounding area.
Of course, collateral damage was usually never an issue...his PR would chew him out for it, but it was something he could pay off...
...but the lives at stake...
Katsuki's calloused hands gripped at the light, scratchy blanket laid over his body, an all-too-unfamiliar burning beginning to build up in his eyes. He hated, hated, hated this. This feeling....
Complete, utter failure.
Katsuki could do nothing. Nothing as Torrent sent a huge gust of wind clashing into him, making the hero crash into an unstable building. Nothing as a shrill cry sounded from within its walls, breaking Katsuki out of the rage-filled cloud overhanging every nerve.
He did nothing as Torrent sneered at the sounds emitting from the once-thought abandoned building, calling out something Katsuki couldn't hear over the roar of vicious winds.
Nothing as heroes arrived on the scene-- Red Riot, Pinky, Uravity, Deku-- screaming out for the explosive hero to move.
To save...
Katsuki couldn't move...and two children, eight and three, had perished as Torrent brought the building down upon him. Katsuki hadn't known...but that didn't make the weight in his chest any less heavy.
He'd been lucky that he was alive - Deku having jumped into the fray and chasing Torrent off as Red Riot, Pinky and Uravity dug him and the children out, as the nurses said once he awoke.
According to them, no one had been to visit yet, even though Katsuki hadn't been too critically injured, surprisingly...
Not that he deserved their company.
Ground Zero was suppose to be a hero, yet two children lost their lives because of him. A couple was never going to hug their children, see them grow up...he knew that all heroes lost someone at least once during their careers...
But this was all utterly Katsuki's fault, he knew. He was the reason that Japan had lost two lives that day.
He was the reason Torrent was still on the run. If only he had waited--
If only he hadn't run in like a damn intern on his first patrol...those two kids might still be alive.
The blond scowled, lifting a hand to slowly run through his dirtied hair, wincing at the tiny shards of glass still stuck between its strands. He'd told the nurses to piss off after checking his vitals after awaking not a mere three hours ago...now he was kinda starting to regret that.
Ugh...the sooner I can get out...
Katsuki knew that to wallow in his own self-pity was...pathetic. He didn't deserve to feel so sorry for himself. No, because those kids--
They had needed him in that moment. They had needed to be saved, by a hero.
And Katsuki had been still, sealing their fates.
He scowled to himself, before carefully propping himself up with his arms. The IV in his arm felt uncomfortable, and his eyes stung at the light coming in from the window. The sooner he got out, the sooner he could do something - he wouldn't be very surprised if the parents tried to press charges because of their children.
He'd deserve it.
His body, aching, protested against the blond's movements, but he ignored it to force one leg over the side of the bed, gritting his teeth at the harsh movement. The nurses would have his head if they saw him trying to get up.
But he couldn't sit here and do nothing. He needed to make up--
"Kacchan!"
The blond gave an indignant squawk as a hand settled on his shoulders, before his brain clicked with the familiar name. "Deku, what the fuck?!"
"Shh, the nurses are gonna kick me out-"
"As they should, shitty nerd!" Katsuki's raging words held no real bite to them, despite the way his red gaze pierced through the over. Deku at least had the decency to look sheepish. "How the hell did you get in here?" he lowered his voice, slightly.
His hero partner glanced at the door of the room, which he had carefully shut completely to make sure no one was peeking in before looking at the older man. "I....distracted a nurse and managed to sneak past?"
"Deku--"
"They weren't gonna let us see you!" Izuku insisted, waving about his hands - one which held a plastic bag. "After the thing with Torrent, I got some stuff and came back to the waiting room. They didn't give any word about you having woken up and I got worried-"
"I don't want your stinking ass in my room!" Katsuki hissed. "And what do you mean we? What about all the civilians?!"
"They're fine!!" Katsuki's cause for his newest headache assured him. "I've already dealt with the paperwork and the press...well, most of it. Kirishima and some of the others are still in the waiting room for when you get released - your entire fight was on the news!"
"Fucking-- Deku, you're number fucking one, it's your job to go out there and detain Torrent, ain't it?!"
"Kacchan, I wasn't going to risk going after him alone."
Now Katsuki knew that Deku was stronger than him - three years together in U.A, and five as hero partners...he'd be stupid to not say that Deku had surpassed him in terms of strength - although when exactly that happened was muddled and forgotten...
Deku had always been stronger than him in moral, too. Even before inheriting One For All.
"Anyways...no one's seen or heard from him in the two days you were out...I think for now, its fine to take a break," Izuku then grinned, shaking the bag in his hand. "Anyways, I got some of your clothes from the agency. I don't think anyone wants to see your ass when you finally get out of here."
Katsuki paused, the words sinking in. He blurted out what was first to conjure into a sentence.
"What, my ass not good enough for the bunch of you freaks, huh?!"
"N-no, Kacchan!" Izuku couldn't help but snort, shaking his head. "I think Kirishima would call it manly-"
The broad-shouldered hero got an angry shove at that, the injured one of the two fuming at him. "Eat shit and die, nerd!" he nearly screamed, causing Izuku to laugh louder.
"Come on Kacchan, it was a joke!"
"Yeah? Your whole career is gonna look like a fucking joke in a minute, asshole!"
Katsuki couldn't help the smug grin that crossed his face as the door to his room was slammed open, two fuming nurses standing outside and setting their sights right on Deku, who looked up like a deer in headlights.
Not even the Number One hero could escape punishment by a couple of angry nurses set out to make sure their patients were comfortable, Katsuki supposed...good.