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After their first practice match against Seijoh, everyone thought that Hinata’s pre-match nerves would go away as he became more confident in his own ability. Whilst this was true for practice matches, as soon as they were in a tournament, at least one of the Karasuno players would be sure to spot him nervously buzzing around their warm up area or, when the pressure was even greater, running off to the toilet. They started to wonder whether he would ever be able to shake his nerves before he's actually playing. Which was alright, for the most part, but it meant that for the first few minutes of the match he would not be in top condition.
As they faced stronger opponents, this became more of a concern as every minute and point might be crucial to their victory. They have tried lots of things to try and calm his nerves, but words only ever seem to make him panic more, or close himself off from the team. Kiyoko seemed unable to do anything except fluster Hinata, whilst Yachi's worrying was only adding fuel to the fire. Tsukki refused to try, saying that he needed to learn how to grow up and Yamaguchi's attempts didn’t seem get through to Hinata. The second and third years only seem to make him panic more as they inadvertently added more pressure.
To be honest, Kageyama couldn’t be more confused. Hinata had such amazing agility and reflexes, and when they’re together, they could overcome almost any opponent. It's actually… a little disheartening. It was as if Hinata didn’t trust in his own abilities, which meant that he didn’t trust Kageyama's faith in him, or that his best, their best, wasn’t enough… With a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth as a dull pain struck in his chest, he watched as the others failed to calm Hinata.
He supposed he ought to try. He wanted to, but Kageyama was not the comforting type. People seemed to feel more uncomfortable around him, even if he was trying to not be unpleasant, and this… well this wasn't exactly his expertise. As far as he knew, Kageyama had never tried to comfort anyone; he didn’t really have anyone to comfort. He didn’t think family counted, as family is often an exception in these kind of things. No. This would be with a boy his age (…okay slightly older), and he had no idea how to try and tackle Hinata’s nerves.
The boy was normally a ball of bright smiles and laughter. Now his ever present energy was being used to bounce his leg at an unnaturally high speed. His eyes were downcast whenever they weren’t flitting to anyone who moving passed him. Kageyama could only watch, helpless. After all, if Suga and Ennoshita couldn’t help, what good would he do? He’d surely only make it worse.
Just as he made up his mind to not interfere, a large hand clapped down on his shoulder, causing the setter to jolt from his slouch. Kageyama turned, coming face to face with Daichi, quickly noting the worry on his face. (He was getting better at reading his teammates.)
“Kageyama, can you have a go at calming him? This is an important match and we really need to be at our best from the get-go.” Kageyama immediately tried to explain that this would be a bad idea, that surely he’d make it worse. The two of them were always fighting. Though they less resembled fights, more like challenges now. “Look, you can’t possibly do any worse than us. Just give it a try. He is your partner after all,” with that, the hand gave a firm shove and Kageyama managed to catch himself before he could collapse on top of Hinata. When he looked down he was met with the curious gaze of his spiker, his knee having paused temporarily, his nervous aura dissipating in light of his curiosity.
After Kageyama failed to offer any explanation for his presence, or in fact say anything, Hinata finally spoke, surprisingly without hyperventilating. “Kageyama? Did you want something?”
Of course that's what he assumed... Although, they had grown much closer as teammates, he didn’t really know how to go about interacting with Hinata outside of training or matches. Their personalities always clashed, meaning most of their interactions dissolved into bickering. Well, he still had to give it a shot. He wasn't sure how he should go about this, though getting down to Hinata’s level might help lessen his intensity. So, without giving any sort of response to Hinata’s curious inquiries, Kageyama put his back to the wall and slid down until he was sat a few inches to Hinata’s right. Judging by the lack of squawks of protest, he didn't seem to mind his company.
However, Kageyama discovered a new problem. Now he was closer to Hinata, he found it even harder to start talking. He wasn't good with words to begin with and apparently he phrasing was easy to misunderstand. Slowly, and with unbelievable awkwardness, Kageyama raised his hand to place a couple of stiff pats on Hinata’s shoulder. He kept his eyes staring dead ahead, already cringing at his inability to cope with any sort of social interaction without needing to see the spiker's reaction. Speaking of which, Hinata seemed to have stilled his frantic buzzing at some point. Kageyama could feel him staring, but when no questions or laughter came, he chanced a look over to find Hinata's brows raised curiously. Unable to take the silence anymore, Kageyama took a deep breath to steel himself before turning to fully face Hinata.
“Why do you always get so nervous?” Oh wow. Way to step straight in! Kageyama really doubted he would ever master subtlety... Hinata didn’t seem enormously shocked by the blunt question, but he did look more uncomfortable as he fixed his gaze on the floor. “You don’t need to be so insecure. You’ve grown a lot since the start of the year. Yes, your receives still need work, but right now you don’t have to worry about that. We know they’re not your strong point, and our senpais will make sure that doesn’t break us. You've heard how the other teams have begun to speak about your attacks before we’ve even played. Surely that shows that you don’t have to worry?” Kageyama watched despairingly as Hinata curled up, his arms snaking around his knees in a vice grip.
What? What did he say? Damn it. He knew this was a bad idea! All he's done is make things worse. Unable to risk saying anything else, Kageyama muttered a quick apology before starting to rise.
“No, wait!” His progress was immediately stopped by a firm grip on his hand. Looking down, Hinata’s eyes were wide with panic as his hold on Kageyama’s hand edged towards painful. Kageyama waited, partially in shock, as Hinata’s mouth silently opened and closed, never quite forming any words. Kageyama glanced down, Hinata’s gaze following his as they stared at where Hinata was still clutching Kageyama's hand. The boy jumped before he released Kageyama’s hand as if burned, yet Kageyama could still feel how the small hands had trembled in his own. Slowly he settled back down, his crouching position causing his legs to cramp.
After only a short pause, Hinata hesitantly started. “I… I know the team is strong. I know the senpais will cover for me. I know it, yet… I dunno, it’s just hard to accept my weakness. It always feels as if I’m pulling them down. It’s just… GWAHHHHH! I don’t know! I’m not sure why I’m like this!” Kageyama watched as Hinata's hands, which had been gesticulating wildly, fell back to his sides. He picked up Hinata’s right hand, still able to feel the tiny tremors causing them to tremble slightly in his hold.
Kageyama didn’t notice how Hinata’s body had stopped buzzing, his attention solely on the smaller hand clasped in his own. He opened the palm and could feel the rough callouses from hours upon hours of practice. The skin had hardened over time and now worked to protect his hands. He just couldn’t understand why the same hadn’t happened to Hinata’s heart. Surely after so many matches, after so many triumphs, his heart should’ve hardened to protect Hinata from his nerves.
Lost in thought, Kageyama continued to observe Hinata’s hands. They seemed so small compared to his own. Suddenly curious, he lined his own hand up with Hinata’s. Yes his was bigger, but not by as much as he thought. Hinata’s hand felt hot against his. Not stifling, just hot.
Kageyama jumped as Hinata’s hand flexed slightly, cheeks burning as he realised just what he was doing. He watched, arm tensed, as Hinata’s fingers curled hesitantly, fitting themselves between Kageyama’s own. He turned his head only to find the back of Hinata’s, his face locked onto the far wall of the hallway. His eyes flicked back to their joined hands before he too looked to the wall as he tried to will the heat in his face away. Unable to think of anything else, Kageyama reciprocated the hold, his own fingers curling around Hinata’s hand as they clasped their hands together.
Silence stretched between the two of them. Unlike before, it didn’t feel awkward, just… peaceful. After a while, Kageyama finally noticed that Hinata’s hand was no longer trembling. Beside him, Hinata let out a quiet breath.
“I try not to get worried, but my body never seems to listen. I just end up panicking. I know the senpais have my back, but that means they have to work even harder because of me.” Hinata groaned quietly in frustration. “Jeez, this is stupid,” he huffed.
“If you make the senpais work twice as hard,” Kageyama began, “that just means you have to work even harder as a decoy. If you work hard, you’ll make it so the other team can’t even pick up the ball, nevermind sending it back over for us to try and receive. Wouldn’t that make the senpais’ work easier?” Kageyama turned to face Hinata as he continued, “Your abilities help the team achieve things that other teams wouldn’t believe possible. You are needed on this team. You are important, and you have the talent we need to win. You wouldn’t be on the team otherwise.”
Kageyama didn’t have a chance to say anymore as Daichi’s voice travelled around the corner from where the others had been waiting, calling them to go out for the warmups. He released Hinata’s hand, standing up before he turned to Hinata, about to offer a hand up, only to find himself wrapped up in a hug. He froze. The gesture so unlike anything they had done before. When he finally got back to his senses, Kageyama hesitantly placed his hands on Hinata’s back, worrying if it was the right position. He couldn't remember the last time he hugged anyone. Thankfully Hinata seemed to relax at the touch, letting out a long, quiet sigh.
“Kageyama! Hinata! We need to go!” The call shocked Kageyama's eyes open, though he couldn't recall ever closing them. Hinata squeezed Kageyama, mumbling something into his chest before releasing him and jogging towards the rest of the team. Kageyama quickly caught up to him, glancing down at him as he walked alongside him.
“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”
“N-Nothing that your small brain has to worry about!” Hinata spluttered, cheeks glowing red.
“Oi!”
“What? You’re not exactly the smartest, Bakayama!”
“Yeah, well neither are you, dumbass!” Kageyama drew a breath, ready to continue the verbal spar, but his voice caught at the sight of Hinata’s bright grin. He watched as Hinata skipped over to Noya and Tanaka who'd already started their warm up stretches.
“Nice going.” He jumped at the voice from over his shoulder and he turned to find Suga and Daichi standing behind him, also watching as Hinata laughed loudly with the second years.
“Yeah, though I can't say I’m surprised that you did so well!” His confusion must’ve shown on his face because Suga started to laugh. “How are you two so unaware of your effect on each other?!” Daichi nodded in agreement as he steered the chuckling Suga away.
It was only then that the extent of Kageyama’s success seemed to sink in. He had actually done it. He had calmed Hinata, or rather his nerves. He couldn’t imagine Hinata ever being truly calm outside of the court… Kageyama watched said ball of positive energy bounce around between teammates, unaware of the smile on his face.
Meanwhile Suga was very much aware, but said nothing, happy to let the volleyball idiots work it out for themselves. At least for now…
This was only the start as their hand holding and hugs became a regular part of their pre-match routine. Their private time together with quiet words instilling peace and confidence in both of them. The team had never been stronger and the two had never been closer.