Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Cut!” DJ Grooves shouted over the set as Hat Kid flubbed her line for the fifth time in a row. It wasn’t her fault; this was the first movie she worked on with him that was partially scripted so she wasn’t used to it. Considering she was still a relatively new actress, she was doing pretty good. But she was getting visibly frustrated and impatient which was only making her mess up more so… “Let’s a take a fifteen-minute break, shall we?”

She pouted up at him while the penguins around her relaxed. “I’m sorry. Can we try one more time? I’ll get it right this time, I promise.”

“Nah darling,” Grooves said as he got up off his director’s chair. “Don’t worry about it. It’s been a long day; we could all use a bit of a break. So let off some steam and when we get back to shooting, I’m sure you’ll get it no problem.”

She huffed but otherwise didn’t respond so Grooves left her to it. He went back to his dressing room for a cup of coffee and to make sure his hair and clothing were still in order. They were, thus leaving him some time to sit and drink some coffee away from everyone else for a bit.

He was only about halfway through the cup when a tense knock came on the door. Meaning there was a problem because the moon penguins never bothered him when on break in his dressing room unless there was an issue they couldn’t or would rather not deal with on their own. So with a sigh he placed his coffee cup on the table and got up to answer it.

“What is it?” he asked the rather tense looking penguin standing before him.

“There’s a situation. It’s uh… probably best if you just come see for yourself.” Oh boy, one those kinds of problems.

Grooves didn’t let his frustration or annoyance show on his face or in his voice though. “Lead the way.”

The penguin led him back towards the set. There was a gathering of penguins off to one side, doing the pacing around thing where they were trying to appear as if they weren’t looking at something but failing miserably. This time they were failing even harder than normal, the tension amongst them was almost palpable in the air and they murmured to each other, anxious and very displeased about something.

Lucky for Grooves, not only was he naturally taller than most of them but his platform shoes gave him a good view over everyone’s heads – other than fashion, that was the main reason he wore them. The issue seemed to be something Hat Kid was doing. She had something in her mouth that judging by the way she was biting and pulling at it with her teeth implied it wasn’t food. Odd but nothing to be panicked about so why was…

It was a chew toy. And not just any chew toy but a penguin shaped one. Only the bottom half of it was still recognizable as anything at all but it was unmistakable. And she was ripping it to pieces with obvious joy that looked malicious when one could see how sharp her teeth were.

“Little girl, darling,” Grooves said, loud enough to be heard over the murmur of the penguins and draw Hat Kid’s attention as he finished approaching.

“Hello,” she said with an innocent smile as she stopped biting the mutilated toy.

“What’s you got there darling?” Grooves asked, trying to keep the tension out of his voice and probably failing.

“A chew toy.” She held up it to show him with no shame whatsoever. “I got it from the Metro. The cats there like to chew on them as some kind of stress relief thing. Some of the have catnip in them, I wasn’t allowed to buy one of those though because I’m a kid. But it’s fun and feels nice, very uh… stress relieving, I guess. I’m pretty sure they’re meant to be destroyed, otherwise I might be doing it wrong. This way’s more fun though.”

She… didn’t realize this was a problem. She was from another planet, perhaps this kind of thing was normal there or… not a thing at all and therefore it being a maybe not good idea wasn’t even on her radar. Regardless, she was stressing out Grooves’ penguins and thus needed to stop or at the very least destroy a chew toy that wasn’t a penguin and preferably in a more private location.

“Uh… darling,” Grooves said after taking a deep breath. “Do you maybe want to look at that toy again?”

She gave it confused frown before looking back up at him. “Why?”

“I know it’s mostly destroyed now but what kind of creature is it a representation of?”

She opened her mouth to respond but froze instead as a look of mortified realization came over her face. “Uh… it’s a penguin and that’s like… not good huh?”

“No, it’s not, darling. It’s actually quite a problem so if you could not do that here, that would be fantastic.”

Blushing hard and grimacing, she slid the toy back into her cape pocket. “I am so sorry. I wasn’t really thinking about that at all.”

“It’s fine darling just… don’t do it again please.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Problem dealt with; Grooves let out a sigh of relief. “All right everyone,” he said loud enough to address everyone because everyone on set was here now. “Let’s just call it a day today and go home to get some rest.” After that everyone would be too on edge to act properly, thus to save the film and the time, they might as well just go home early and work extra hard the next couple days to make up for the time lost today.

With the freedom to go and with nothing left to see, everyone seemed let out a collective sigh of relief and quickly dispersed. Leaving just Hat Kid and Grooves.

“I pecked up big time, huh?” Hat Kid said with a frown as he looked down at that ground between them. She spent too much time with the Conductor; children shouldn’t be using that kind of language. That was something to talk to her about later though.

“Don’t worry about it too much darling,” Grooves said. “You made a mistake, you learned from, now it’s time to move on. We’ll get back to work on the movie tomorrow and everything will be fine. Just uh… next time you want to play with a chew toy, do it in a more secluded spot, even if it’s not a penguin, all right?”

Hat Kid sighed. “Yeah, all right. Sorry again.”

“Apology accepted. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay darling?”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow. And I’ll get the line right first try tomorrow to make up for this. So uh… buh-bye.” She waved at him before running off towards the exit.

Grooves sighed and rubbed his forehead. When word of this got back to the Conductor, he’d undoubtedly say or do something with it to mess with Grooves and the penguins. Not something Grooves was looking forward to but… he’d deal with if when he got there. For now though, he needed that coffee break more than ever.

Chapter Text

“Wait, you guys are making a horror movie together?” Hat Kid would never have expected that in million years. She was more surprised by that than them saying they were making a movie together.

“Yep, it was the Conductor’s idea,” DJ Grooves replied, gesturing to him. “It was also his idea that we come up here to invite you to be a part of it.”

“But… but why a horror movie?” Instead of a western style movie on the moon or a movie about a disco-train or something similar?

“Because,” the Conductor said. “We need to avoid our usual genres if we want this collab to work. I hate not being able to film on me train but eh, what can you do? So you want to be part of it or no?”

“Of course.” After the whole ‘not getting paid’ thing had been sorted out – the owl responsible had been very much fired and thoroughly yelled at, so much so she didn’t even feel the need to yell at him herself – she’d decided she loved acting again. The fact that it’d be for a collab project between Grooves and the Conductor only made her more excited for it even if she did find their choice of genre strange.

“Good, here’s the script.” The Conductor pulled a manuscript out of his suit pocket and handed it to her. “You’re playing the ghost girl. Come to the studio in three days to pick up your costume. Filming starts three days after that, don’t be late.”

This time, as soon as Hat Kid got on set, an owl greeted her with all the proper documents required for her to get properly credited and paid. Just like Snatcher had taught here, she went over the whole thing, fine print and all to make sure she wouldn’t get screwed over for signing it. It wasn’t written in her native language so she could easily be missing something but she trusted the directors not to screw her over, especially after how mad they’d been when they’d learned she’d been screwed over last time she’d worked with them.

After signing it, she had to sit and wait for when they were ready for her. It was fine though; she’d brought a chew toy to play with – not a penguin this time – and keep herself entertained. Being careful not to destroy it meant it was less fun but she’d live. It thankfully wasn’t long before she was called onto set anyway.

“Good to see you darling, I can see you’re wearing your costume, it looks great,” Grooves said as she approached the directors’ chairs – seeing him and the Conductor sitting next to each and working together was nice. “Now if you could just do your hair magic and make it black, that’d be great.”

Having anticipated such a request, Hat Kid had stuffed all her magic paintbrushes into the costume’s pockets. She pulled out the one that would make her hair black and tapped it to her forehead before slipping it away once more.

“Great,” the Conductor said, even giving her a thumbs up – he seemed to be in a good mood. “Now just let your hair down and mess it up a bunch, make it cover your face if you can. Then we can get the makeup people out here and get you looking real scary.”

Welp, Hat Kid should’ve perhaps expected such a request to come eventually with how much they’d taken advantage of her being able to change her hair colour basically at will. Why wouldn’t they want her to change her hair style too? How did she tell them though?

“Is… something wrong darling?” Grooves asked, apparently picking up on her hesitation.

“Well uh… I can’t do that. Like I physically cannot do that.”

“Why the peck not?” Being in a good mood apparently didn’t mean the Conductor wasn’t going to swear. Even with Grooves sitting right next to him, frowning his disapproval at the use of the word.

“Uh… it’s like….” Hat Kid reached up to grab one of her flaps with both hands and pull on either side of it, demonstrating how she couldn’t do anything else with it. “My uh… ponytail,” she was pretty sure that’s what they were called in this language, she’d long since stopped having to use the translator and thus couldn’t know for sure, “is pretty similar. It’s uh… actually more like a tail. I can even move it a little bit.” She demonstrated that too, making it wave back and forth for a few seconds.

The directors and everyone else around who’d been paying attention stared at her like she’d just grown a second head. It was really embarrassing. The fact that she looked so much like a human would’ve been unbelievable if she hadn’t encountered it herself. But in a way that just made the things that made her distinctly alien weirder because they weren’t obvious.

“Is… is that problem?” she asked, breaking the silence before it could go on any longer and get more awkward. “Can I not play the role well if I can’t do my hair the right way?” She’d been so excited too. It was no fair.

DJ Grooves fidgeted in his chair, “Well uh… we can maybe work around it?”

“Nah, your hair style’s too cute to work around,” the Conductor said, recovering faster than anyone else.

“Oh.” Hat Kid almost felt like she wanted to cry. It made sense though, a ghost in a movie meant to be scary couldn’t have a cute hairstyle. “Well can I…”

“Hush lass, let me finish before you go getting all upset,” the Conductor interrupted. “If you can tie your hair thingies back behind your ears, we can just put a wig on you can call it good. We’ll have to be careful with any shots that show the back of your head but that’s fine. Anything that don’t look right can be fixed in editing.”

Oh! Hat Kid hadn’t even considered that. A wig would be uncomfortable over her ponytail. And tying the flaps back so they wouldn’t hang over her ears would doubtless be even more so. But she could put up with a little discomfort if she had to. Before she could say so though, Grooves spoke.

“Oh, Conductor darling, that’s genius. You’ve been full of some really good ideas lately, I’m impressed.”

The Conductor seemed almost embarrassed with the way he looked away and lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck. “Yeah, yeah… whatever, I guess. … You all right with that though lass?” He turned his attention back on Hat Kid. “You okay with wearing a wig and tying your hair things back?”

“Yes!” She nodded, smiling up at him. “Thank you!”

He grunted in response and then lifted a hand to snap, shifting to addressing the whole room. “All right make-up penguins, get the lass a spooky wig and then get her real scary looking. I swear this is going to be our best movie ever if I have any pecking say in the matter.”

Chapter Text

“Uncle Grooves!” Hat Kid called as she poked her head into Grooves’ dressing room. Why she insisted on thinking of him as an uncle he still wasn’t sure and had long since given up trying to get her to stop.

“Hello darling,” he said, lowering his coffee cup. “Come on in I guess.” He didn’t mind his break being disturbed by her.

With a large smile she hopped in and pulled the door closed behind. “All right so a few weeks ago I convinced Snatcher to go to therapy in the little town just outside the forest. I kind of had to almost threaten to cry to get him to go but he did and he’s gone every week since. Which isn’t many yet but still good especially since I think it might be helping him, even if it’s not a whole lot yet. But anyway because of how well that’s working out I realized he’s not the only one who needs therapy. Which is what brought me here, I need you to help me convince the Conductor to start going to therapy.”

First off, the thought of the infamous soul eating Snatcher going to therapy was comical. The fact that he’d adopted Hat Kid and was supposedly being a decent father to her was already the kind of thing Grooves would’ve never believed in a million years if it hadn’t been Hat Kid telling him about it. Second, Grooves couldn’t believe he never thought to convince the Conductor to seek professional help because he needed it; he’d been through some things and was handling it and life in general less than well. So…

“Of course I’ll help with that,” he said as he got up from his chair. He quickly downed the last bit of his coffee before putting the mug back on the table, he’d deal with putting it away later. “He should be in his dressing room so let’s go have a chat with him.”

Hat Kid stepped out with him and stuck by his side as they made their way over to the other side of the studio. The owls glanced up as they crossed the border but didn’t approach. They were used to Grooves coming over by now because of the collab movies he and the Conductor had worked on, there were even plans for another in the idea stage, not yet public though there were no doubt rumors floating around.

When they reached the dressing room door, Grooves knocked. He and the Conductor had unofficially established specific knocking patterns to identify themselves without words so they wouldn’t have to ask when they visited each other.

“Come in,” the Conductor called through the door.

“Hey,” Grooves said as he stepped in with Hat Kid, letting her close the door. “How’s your day been so far Con darling?”

The Conductor was seated at the table, facing the wall. He had a cup of coffee in his hand and a bottle of whiskey on the table in front of him, implying the coffee was probably spiked. “Eh, ‘bout as good as one could expect I guess,” he said with a shrug before taking a drink from the mug. “But hey little lass, good to see you again.”

“Hello Uncle Con.” Hat Kid raised a hand to give him a small wave before skipping over to sit next to him at the head of the table. Grooves followed suit, sitting across from him. How this conversation would go he had no idea so he’d let Hat Kid lead, it was her idea after all.

“So,” she began, “I convinced Snatcher to start going to therapy. He’s been going every week for a few weeks now and it seems to be helping. It’s fantastic. I think you start going too.”

“Uh… me?” The Conductor gave her an incredulous look as he lifted a hand to point to himself.

“Yep. I think you could really benefit from some professional help.”

“Why?”

“Because you need it,” Grooves answered for her because he was much more aware of the Conductor problems and how poorly he was doing. “You’ve been through a lot and…”

“I don’t need therapy,” the Conductor interrupted. “I’m perfectly fine and well adjusted. All I need is me train and I’m happy.” He took another drink from his mug.

“Uh… Con darling, you know that’s a lie, a poor one too. I’m not going to go into details about stuff that you’ve done or about the kind of thoughts I’m pretty sure you sometimes have, not while the little girl is here listening but you know the kind of things I’m thinking about.” All the drinking, frequently to the point of passing out. Which sometimes happened on the train tracks if front of his train, whether those times were intentional or he just happened to fall there was impossible to know but with the amount of times it happened the former definitely had to be the case sometimes. Especially when considering the occasional dangerous stunt that could’ve easily ended with at least the Conductor dead, probably more too. And perhaps least of all but still not good, the comments about life not being worth living without his train or words that indicated he thought he’d be better off dead or that everyone else would be happier if he died.

Grooves had wanted to help him for a long time, especially ever since they’d started working together and were more friends than rivals now. He’d always cared about the Conductor, initially as a friend but lately perhaps something as a bit more. Why he’d never thought to suggest therapy was probably a sign of how little experience he had in such matters. But thankfully Hat Kid was here to do it instead, she was a smart kid.

“So please,” Grooves said “for me?”

The Conductor scoffed. “As if I’d do anything for you.” He still liked to put on a front of not liking Grooves sometimes, normally when it came up somehow, even though no one in the studio would ever believe it anymore.

“For me then?” Hat Kid cut in.

The Conductor frowned at her. “Why are you both so insistent on this?”

“Because we care about you,” Grooves replied. He wasn’t afraid to admit it, though he wasn’t ready to admit in just what way he cared about the Conductor.

The Conductor put down his mug and crossed his arms as he slouched back into his chair. He pouted in silence for a few seconds before finally speaking. “Fine, I’ll go to therapy but only if Grooves starts going to.”

Grooves opened his mouth to respond but Hat Kid beat him to it. “Perfect,” she said. “After we were done convincing you to go, I was going to ask you to help convince him to go too. So?” She turned to look at Grooves, smiling wide.

“I don’t need therapy though.”

“Really huh?” the Conductor said. “You were so upset about losing so many times in a row that you let a magic hour glass get to you head, leading to you trying to kill a child. You even stole a bomb from me set to do it. Who knows what might’ve happened if I hadn’t run in and defused it?”

Grooves flinched, that was true. It was mostly the Time Piece’s fault though and little to do with him… right?

“At least I never did anything like that,” the Conductor continued with a smugness that was irritating especially since it wasn’t true.

“Yeah sure, you almost blew up your train with her and a bunch of owls on it because you trying to kill yourself. And let’s not even mention the contract you signed with the Snatcher to try to kill her. So don’t go saying you never did anything like that.”

“That first one was a stunt for a movie and the second one I had no choice and you signed the exact same pecking contract, meaning you tried to kill her twice. So don’t you pecking…”

“Stop it!” Hat Kid slammed both palms down on the desk as she stood up. “You guys are friends now so no more fighting. You both need therapy because you both aren’t okay. I don’t know any of even the broad details of it like I do with my dad but I know you both aren’t in a completely good place mentally right now so I want you both to start going to therapy, okay?”

Grooves sighed as he relaxed back into his chair, ashamed of the things he’d said so…

“Fine, I’ll go,” he said in near unison with the Conductor. He paused and turned his head to look at the Conductor was doing the exact same thing. Turns out it wasn’t either of them convincing the other to go to therapy like Hat Kid had wanted but just Hat Kid convincing them both at the same time.

Hat Kid let out an audible relieved sigh as she lowered herself back into her chair. “There we go, thank you. I actually have you both booked for appointments on the weekend.” She pulled out two small sheets of paper and handed one to the Conductor, the other to Grooves.

It had a date, time, and location printed on it. Grooves pocketed it with a sigh. Maybe he really did need professional help. He didn’t have it as bad as the Conductor but that didn’t necessarily mean he had it good. So perhaps they did both need help. … Even if he didn’t though it couldn’t hurt and it’d be worth the hassle if it meant the Conductor would stick to going too.

“Thanks lass,” the Conductor grumbled as he pocketed his slip of paper too. “But uh… anyway, ‘bout your dad, how’d you convince him to go, he don’t seem the type to agree to that kind of thing.”

“I had to beg him and threaten to cry if he didn’t. Now I just need to convince Mu and the Captain to seek professional help and everyone I care about well hopefully be getting the help they need. And then they can get better and hopefully be truly happy again.”

What about her though? Hadn’t she been though a lot too? More than Grooves could probably ever guess. Surely, she needed the help of a therapist too. … Maybe she was seeing one? Maybe that’s what led her to convincing Snatcher and then from there the two of them to go? Grooves would have to somehow find out for sure later. If she wasn’t, he wasn’t sure what he’d do exactly but he try to help her if he could.

Chapter Text

The fire spirits were back. They always came back. If Snatcher didn’t know better, he’d say it was because they liked annoying him. But no, it was because the forest was a place of high spiritual energy, it attracted them like moths to a flame.

He couldn’t make them go away either. They didn’t listen to him and their brand of magical energy was resistance to his, making destroying them take a lot of effort. With how powerful he was, he could force it if he really had to but it was a pain and exhausting so he preferred to make contractors deal with them instead. He maybe wouldn’t have to this time though because he officially had an adoptive daughter he might finally have a real use for.

“Hey kiddo,” he said with a grin as he popped in on her as she exited her ship now parked in his forest. “I’ve got a job for you.”

Hat Kid’s face let up. “What kind of job?”

“The fire spirits are starting to come back. I would like you to take care of them before they start making themselves too much of a nuisance. Think of it as your way of earning you keep around here, a house chore or whatever.”

“Okay! But… I’ve always wondered why you don’t destroy them. I mean you’re like super powerful and stuff and they’re not so… can’t you deal with them? Are you just lazy?”

“No, I’m not lazy.” The fact that she’d suggest such a thing was a bit offensive but he’d let it slid for now. “The reason I don’t deal with them myself is it takes a lot of energy to take them out. They’re beings made of fire, meaning light basically. I’m a being made of primarily shadow energy. Not true opposites but throwing shadow magic at light beings doesn’t exactly have great results.”

“So… it’s like Pokémon? Your attacks aren’t very effective because it’s a poor type match up?”

“I don’t know what that means but… sure I guess, my attacks aren’t very effective against them. Hence why I prefer someone else to handle it so I don’t have to. So hop to it.” He clapped his hands twice to spur her on.

She didn’t move though instead she seemed deep in thought about something. “They’re fire spirits,” she mumbled to herself, “and going off Pokémon rules that would mean…” She trailed off as a mischievous smile spread across her face. An idea had occurred to her, that was almost never a good thing. “I have an idea,” she said, speaking to him again. “Instead of getting rid of them you should send them to torment your ex!”

Snatcher had been preparing to say ‘no’ but stopped. “Huh?”

“You should send them to torment your crazy ex,” Hat Kid repeated. “I mean they’re fire spirits with fire magic and your ex is an ice bitch with ice magic so they should be super effective against her. Don’t you want to mess with her? She’s a horrible wretched evil peck neck. You should burn her house down! I bet it’ll be fun!” She her smile was now more evil that mischievous. Good.

Snatcher had never considered doing such a thing before. He’d always been so focused on not having anything more to do with her, only fending her off whenever she decided to invade his forest, that he’d never considered trying to do anything to mess with them. It was honestly a huge oversight on his part.

“You know what kid, I’m suddenly glad I adopted you, you’re smart,” he said. She beamed at his praise. “There is a problem with your idea though, they won’t listen to me. I’ve tried to tell them to go away or take down their stupid fire barriers at least a hundred times over the years, if not more.” Probably more because the first time they’d appeared he’d still been trying to be at least sort of a good guy. They didn’t have souls he could eat – he’d tried but it had hurt him – and other than for the barriers – which weren’t intended to harm anyone and actually seemed to be just a byproduct of their rituals – they weren’t doing anything bad so he’d been reluctant to kill them. “I doubt they’d listen to you either because of how much time you spend with me and the Subconites, you reek of death and shadows.”

Her face fell. “Does that mean we can’t send them to torment Vanessa?”

“It means we can’t but I know someone they should listen to and that someone will listen to me.”

“Really? Who is it?”

“The Conductor.”

“Why would they listen to…”

Snatcher didn’t let her finish before teleporting away.

***

The Conductor was just about to leave his dressing room when he suddenly had the sense that something was behind him so he should probably turn and check. It was probably just paranoia but… It was Snatcher.

He couldn’t help jumping a little in fright and taking a step back. Not many people survived direct encounters with the infamous Snatcher. The Conductor was one of the lucky few but the thing he’d had to do to accomplish that feat had been abhorrent. So he wasn’t a fan of the ghost and was honestly terrified.

“What the peck do you want?” he said because no way was he going to let his terror show.

Snatcher grinned wide. “I have a favor to ask of you.”

“I ain’t trying to kill the lass again, no matter what you say. You can eat my pecking soul, I don’t care.” He shouldn’t have cared the first time but… he’d been taken by surprise and terrified.

“Well good thing I wasn’t going to ask you to. Now, I would take your soul but alas I have a feeling a certain child now legally in my care would be rather displeased with me if I did. It’s annoying when she cries so I’d rather not deal with that.”

The Conductor had almost forgotten Snatcher had adopted Hat Kid because honestly, he didn’t want it to be true. Snatcher was well the Snatcher, he ate people’s souls, he’d tried to murder Hat Kid, had forced the Conductor and others to try as well. And yet Hat Kid insisted he was a good guy deep down inside and that he cared about her. She’d even shown the Conductor and DJ Grooves a copy of the adoption papers Snatcher had written up to adopt her. He had signed it though so Hat Kid’s claims had to have some truth to them even if the Conductor disagreed with the whole adoption. He’d no choice but to accept it and try not to think about it too much because he couldn’t do anything about it.

“Now,” Snatcher continued, “because of our history I know you probably don’t want to help me. And honestly, I don’t blame you, from your perspective things were pretty bad. But we’re past that now, right? So I need you to…”

“‘Pretty bad’? That wasn’t ‘pretty bad’, that was pecking…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Snatcher cut in, making a placating gesture with one had that made the Conductor’s blood boil with rage he couldn’t do anything with because he was facing Snatcher. “You’re an angry fire lizard, I understand. I’ll have you know though, the favor I’m asking you to do was Hat Kid’s idea. She’s actually really smart sometimes, would you believe it?”

“She’s smart all the time you peck-neck.”

“If you say so. Now, I need you to talk to the fire spirits in my forest and tell them to harass the Ice Queen Vanessa instead of me. They should listen to you because I’m pretty sure dragons are on the top rank of the fire beings, right? Even the small feathered ones like yourself.”

“What the peck are you talking about? I’m not a dragon.”

“Oh, you’re not? I’m pretty sure you are. I could be wrong though I guess because all I know for sure is you have fire magic. There are a number of ways that’s possible, none of them make a difference for what I’m asking you to do though so it doesn’t matter. Let’s go.” He snapped his fingers and the world around them shifted to deep purple.

“Peck you, you pecking peck neck,” the Conductor said instead of being afraid like he’d wanted to be because whatever the peck was going on here was not okay.

The purple faded and suddenly they were in the forest next to Hat Kid and her ship, now parked. “Uncle Con,” she said with a smile.

“Uh… hey lass,” he said, glancing around. The forest was dark and creepy, he did not like it especially since Snatcher was looming over them now that he had all the room in the world to do so. He was a dumb showoff, why couldn’t he stay a normal person size? He just liked being bigger and taking up more room than everyone else because he was bully and a peck-neck. Before the Conductor could say something about it though…

“Now go talk to the fire spirits for us,” Snatcher said. “It’s important, right kiddo?”

“Yes! I don’t know why they’d listen to you Uncle Con but if they do, go tell them to burn down Vanessa’s Manor!” The evil glee in Hat Kid’s eyes and voice was concerning. But was it because she was spending too much time with Snatcher or just how she naturally was and that’s what had drawn her to Snatcher in the first place?

“Why?” the Conductor asked to avoid dealing with that question.

“Because she’s horrible and awful and evil and just the pecking worst.”

Well if Hat Kid hated this Vanessa person so much she must be truly terrible, worse than Snatcher because Hat Kid didn’t hate him. And come to think of it, hadn’t the Conductor heard tales about an Ice Queen Vanessa? She’d frozen her entire kingdom, killing everyone in it, or something like that, right? So yeah, she probably deserved to have her house burnt down at least.

“Fine.” The Conductor sighed. “I’ll talk to them.” And they probably would do as he asked because in his experience, fire spirits tended to more often than not. He’d always assumed it was because he was half fire spirit but maybe it was something else like Snatcher had suggested? … Nah, no way. And he didn’t care anyway. He just wanted done with this business as soon as possible so he could leave the damn forest.

Chapter Text

“I-it won’t light,” the owl said as he looked up from his attempts to set the pile of wood on fire. “I think the wood might be damp.”

Grooves sighed. It wasn’t even halfway through the day yet and things were already falling apart. All they wanted as a darn campfire scene but everything was breaking. First the monster had broken and needed repairing on top of the actor controlling it being late, now the firewood was damp. And if it was damp the rest of it probably was too because what little they had, they kept stored all in the same place in the basement. Meaning they had to send someone out to get a fresh bundle from the store. Which would take an hour at least.

“You’re pecking incompetent,” the Conductor growled as he stood up. “Let me do it.”

“Conductor darling,” Grooves said, “How many times have I told you not to swear at the actors or set people? It’s not his fault. And if the wood is damp, I doubt you could light it any better than he can.”

The Conductor ignored him as he marched over to the unlit campfire, the owl kneeling besides now cowering as he held up the box of matches he’d been using to try to start a fire. The Conductor didn’t take it though, instead he put his hand over the firepit and snapped his fingers. Suddenly a fire blazed to life, engulfing the damp wood as if it were dry as a desert. He then marched back over to sit beside Grooves again as if whatever he’d just done was no big deal.

“What the peck you all looking at?” he snapped breaking the silence that had come with his stunt or whatever it was with the campfire.

“Uh… we’re looking at you because… what the heck was that?” Grooves asked, unable to stop staring himself because honestly what was that?

“You mean the fire? You peck-necks seriously have never seen fire magic before?”

“Con darling, I as well as I’m sure many of the fine people here have seen it before but not from you. And some of us have known you for a very long time and are only just now finding out that you have… fire magic?” Grooves had known him probably longer than anyone else currently alive. How was it even possible that he hadn’t found this out before? “Is that it? Do you seriously have fire magic? Really?”

“Yes. It’s not my fault you didn’t know, I use it whenever I need it. Now everyone stop gawking and get the peck to your proper places. The fire’s pecking lit so you don’t have any more excuses to be standing around.”

From there, the Conductor took the lead in directing the scene because Grooves was a bit too distracted. How was it possible for him to not know the Conductor had fire magic? And how did he have it? What was he? Grooves had idly wondered that a few times because he was not any kind of bird Grooves had ever seen before but had determined it didn’t matter. And it still didn’t but… was he even a bird at all? Maybe he was a phoenix? Feathered dragons were supposedly a very rare thing, right? Maybe that’s what the Conductor was? Or maybe he was half bird, half something with fire magic? Like half fire spirit perhaps? The most common being with fire magic. But made of fire, could they even reproduce with a flesh being? There were also a number of other beings that the Conductor might be related to that would give him fire magic. It was impossible to know what the answer might be.

Grooves wanted to know more, no, he needed to. It was fascinating but befuddling mystery. He’d always found the Conductor an interesting fellow but now he was even more so. Asking him for more info might lead nowhere but they were friends now, working together on movies, so it might lead somewhere too. Grooves couldn’t know unless he asked. Which he probably shouldn’t do while they were working, they had to get this scene filmed. And it’d be better as a more private conversation.

So he eagerly waited until lunch break finally rolled around. He ate as quick as he could without it looking like he was trying to hurry before heading to the Conductor’s dressing room. He let himself in because the Conductor had said he didn’t care if he came in as long as the door was unlocked, which it was.

Inside, the Conductor was standing with his back to the door, facing the rear wall. He’d propped something up against the wall, a… board of some sort? It had a weird texture to it and… the Conductor ran both hands down it, making an uncomfortable sound. It was very odd and the Conductor repeated the action. It seemed to be something he was just doing. But what was it and why was he doing it?

“Uh… what is that?” Grooves asked instead of giving the greeting he’d been planning on because he was confronted with something new about the Conductor for the second time that day.

The Conductor turned to face him. “It’s me scratching board. What else would it be?”

“Uh… I don’t know. I’ve never seen one before.” And he certainly never would’ve thought he’d see one for the first time under these circumstances. “But… why do you have one?”

“Because you made me quit drinking so much. What else am I supposed to pecking doing when I’m stressed out, sit around and twiddle me thumbs the way you seem to do?”

Grooves could tell him that that’s not what he did when stressed but honestly, he was still trying to come to terms with the fact that using a scratching board was apparently just a normal natural thing for the Conductor. Which would’ve been only mildly odd if it wasn’t also paired with the fire magic. Really, Grooves had learned more about the Conductor today than he had in a long time. Stuff that wasn’t new either, just new to him because he’d somehow never seen the Conductor use fire magic or scratch a scratching board before today. It left him with more questions and a deeper fascination. He was going to get to the bottom of this for sure.

Chapter Text

The longer Grooves had the Time Piece in his possession, the more alluring he found its power to be. He’d gotten it appraised by someone who understood magic and had learned it could be used to time travel! He wasn’t sure how to activate it yet but it was only a matter of time until he figured it out.

Once he did, he could do so much. He could go back and fix any and every big mistake he’d ever made. He could go back and change some of his losses in the Bird Movie Award Ceremony to wins, or all of them. It was selfish but he wanted it so bad. Surely, he’d deserved to win some of the awards, right? The Conductor always won because… because… he cheated or gave bribes to the judges or… the judges just liked him more or were biased to like westerns and train-based action films. He hadn’t earned every single win… right? Grooves should’ve won some of the trophies for sure. So he was totally justified in going back in time and making it happen.

He’d make it up the Conductor though. He could go back in time and prevent the Conductor’s wife and then later daughter from dying the ways they had. That way they’d both be happy and would get what they deserved.

But first, Grooves had to figure how to activate the Time Piece’s magic. And… he wasn’t really sure how to go about doing that. He had time though, he’d figure it out. He just had to…

The door slammed open behind him and he snapped around to see a panicked penguin. “Boss, the little girl is on her way down here. I think she knows you have another one of those hourglass things of hers.”

Well, that wasn’t good. He’d been hoping, he wouldn’t have to deal with Hat Kid finding out he’d held back a Time Piece. But seems there was no helping it. Whatever though, he could get her to leave him alone. Any harm he did to her could easily be undone via time travel once he figured it out. So…

“All right,” he said as he stood up. “Let’s prepare for her arrival.”

[One failed boss battle later]

He hadn’t meant to kill her, just injure her bad enough to get her to stop going after him. But his knife was rather large and her body was rather small and now she was dead. It was a gruesome sight that made him feel almost like he might vomit if he looked at it too long. So, he just didn’t look. Time travel would undo it anyway so there was no reason to worry, it’d be like it never happened.

He turned away, not even bothering to retrieve his knife. All the penguins were now staring at him in shocked silence as if they’d expected him to pull back at the last minute despite everything. That was fine though and he had no regrets because he’d fix it and everything would be fine again, the kid probably wouldn’t even remember this happening.

The sound of a door bursting open broke the silence. The Conductor rushed in onto the bleachers. He opened his mouth as if to say something but froze instead. He’d caught sight of Hat Kid’s body, no doubt about it.

“Grooves,” he finally said. “Care to explain exactly what the peck is going on here?” There was an edge to his voice that Grooves had never heard before despite years of knowing him. He was mad, so mad he wasn’t even yelling. Justified for sure but that was just because he didn’t know the full story yet.

“Conductor darling, it’s fine,” Grooves said with a dismissive handwave. “I have this.” He pulled out the Time Piece. “It’ll let me travel back in time. I’ll undo this whole thing and it’ll be like it never happened. So, there’s no need to be upset.”

The Conductor was silent for another second or two before walking down the bleachers and vaulting down into the arena. He strode over to stand before Grooves. “It only lets you go back in time like five seconds, you pecking peck-neck.”

“What do you…”

The Conductor snatched the Time Piece out of his hand and tossed it to the ground. Grooves could do nothing but watch as it shattered. But then suddenly he was looking back up at the Conductor who had his hand raised if he were about to throw something to the ground but it was empty. Grooves looked back down at the ground. The Time Piece was there but intact. How though? He’d just watched it break into a million pieces… hadn’t he?

“See?” the Conductor said with a growl. “Five seconds at most. Now, I don’t know about you but I highly doubt you’ll be able to go back far enough to prevent that from happening.” He pointed in the direction of Hat Kid’s body but Grooves didn’t dare look. “And here I’d been thinking you were a good person, guess I was wrong. Now get the peck out of me face.”

Grooves flinched before bending down to pick up the Time Piece. He could still fix this. It had to be possible, there had to be a way to make the Time Piece take one back further. He’d figure out how and then he’d fix everything and it would all be okay again… hopefully.

Chapter Text

The greeter gave Hat Kid a funny look when she’d told them she had a reservation for just herself. The exact same thing had happened at the last fancy restaurant she’d gone to. But just like that time, she had the proof that she’d paid for the reservation which led to her getting seated at a table.

It was fancy with a pretty table cloth and candles and nice chairs that were mostly comfortable. It made her feel fancy and cool. And because she was an unattended child in an expensive restaurant, everyone seated nearby or passing by glanced her way in confusion. The fact that she was the only non-bird in here probably also contributed to that which only made it better. She smiled and waved at all of them, making them quickly look at anything that wasn’t her.

With a satisfied smile, Hat Kid picked up the menu and started perusing it. She had absolutely no idea what anything listed was, it was her first time eating at a place meant for birds. Alas, even with how much money she’d gained in her adventures she didn’t have enough to justify trying everything, might not even be able to afford it with how large the menu was. So instead she was going to go with something that had a cool name and was expensive because she could.

A few minutes into this she became vaguely aware of the greeter sitting someone/s at the vacant table closest to her. She almost looked up to see what kind of birds they were but didn’t yet. She had an important decision to make about what she was going to order and she needed to decide before her waiter came back.

“This place seems pecking expensive, are you sure about this?” … That voice, quiet as it was, was still recognizable.

“Don’t worry about it darling, I know you like to be frugal but we can splurge a bit sometimes. Besides, this was my idea and I set up the reservation so I’ll gladly pay the bill.”

Hat Kid looked up to see DJ Grooves and the Conductor seated at the table next to her. Grooves was wearing a fancy suit instead of his normal getup, he still wore the star sunglasses though because apparently that was his thing. The Conductor of course wore a suit as well as he always did, but instead of his usual hat he wore a little top hat, making him look fancy too.

“Like peck I’m going to let you pay the full bill,” the Conductor said. “We’re splitting it fifty/fifty like we do all the other bills.”

“That’s fine with me.”

Hat Kid folded her menu and hopped out of her chair and rushed over to stand by their table. “Hey guys!” They both flinched. “You guys are on a date, right?” What else could it be?

“Uh lass what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to eat new food and feel fancy. But you guys are here on a date. I knew you’d start dating eventually, you’ve been all kinds of in love for ages but never wanted to admit it. It’s been adorable to see but also kind of frustrating because I wanted you guys to just kiss so bad. But you guys are finally together, yay!” Now Snatcher owed her a pony because she’d made a bet with him about the directors starting to date when in the next few months a couple weeks ago.

The Conductor groaned and lifted his menu to hide his face behind it. Grooves grimaced and looked around. “Look darling,” he said, almost whispering as he leaned in. “We uh… are on a date but we’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about us like that, especially so loud, it’s uncomfortable. Also, we’d like to be left alone please.”

Of course they wanted to be alone, they were on a date. It had been rude of her to interrupt them but she’d been so excited, who could blame her? “Sorry! I’ll leave you be now. Have fun on your date.” She ran the short distance back over to her table and sat down, placing herself so her back would be to them, minimizing the temptation to spy on them. They’d probably also talk quieter now that they knew she was here so she might not be able to listen into their conversation either with was a shame but would probably be for the best.

Before she left she was totally going to get a quick pic of them though to prove to Snatcher she’d won that bet. So she had two reasons to be excited by them finally getting together. She was mostly just happy for them though, they were good for each other so she wished them the best in their new relationship.

Chapter Text

Filming in Subcon Forest wasn’t something they would’ve normally ever done. But Hat Kid had gotten Snatcher to agree to let them. How was anyone’s guess but it was official with a contract and everything. All they’d really had to agree to was to stay away from Subcon Village and the manor, clean up after themselves – no littering – and to not damage anything.

But as cool an opportunity as this was, Grooves really wished Hat Kid had failed to convince Snatcher to let them enter. The forest was dark and spooky and things could be heard off in the distance or in some cases uncomfortably nearby. The dead branches above them as they made their way down the path rattled and rubbed together in the wind, creating a sound that wasn’t too far off what Grooves imagined bones clanking together might sound like.

Oddly, the owls, normally so nervous, didn’t seem too bothered by any of this. If anything, they seemed slightly less than their normal amount of anxious. The penguins were tad more anxious than normal though. The Conductor though, walking beside Grooves, was in a good mood because this had been his idea. And it was a good idea because what better place to shoot a movie that took place in a haunted forest than in a real haunted forest? The concept for the movie had been Grooves’ idea though and he now regretted it. Too late now though. Hopefully directing would distract him from the less pleasant aspects of this wretched place.

They soon reached the area where they stepped off the path and into the forest. Turns out walking off the path was even scarier because suddenly getting lost was a possibility; could there be a worse fate than that? Thankfully the area Snatcher designated as their filming area was not too far off the path. There was even a decent sized clearing they could set their equipment up in.

While the Conductor started directing the setup of everything, Grooves hung back. He glanced around to make sure no one was looking at him before bending over rearranging some fallen twigs on the ground to look like an arrow pointing back towards the path. It probably wasn’t necessary but to his eyes, all the trees looked the same so he could easily forget which direction led back to the path and thus out of the forest. So a marker just made him feel a bit better.

With a sigh, he straightened. … There was suddenly a doll hanging in a noose in front of him. “Peck!” he shouted as he backpedaled, stopping only because he backed into a tree.

More dolls dropped down from the trees above, hanging limp in nooses. Grooves groaned and muttered out a string of swearwords because what the peck was this? This is why going into haunted forests was a bad idea. Why had they ever agreed to…

“Stop trying to be pecking scary you peck-necks,” the Conductor shouted at the hanging dolls, seemingly totally unphased. “You ain’t fooling nobody.”

“I thought we were scary,” one of the dolls said as it looked up. The others all looked up too. “We were very scary,” another added. “Your friend thought we were scary.” They then wriggled out of the nooses as if it were no big deal. … It had been a prank? These were the denizens of the forest, right? Not here to haunt but instead to spook.

“Well, you ain’t, now what the peck do you want?”

“We want to be part of the movie!” one doll – they were called Subconites or something similar, weren’t they? – said while the others all nodded or made sounds of agreement.

The Conductor thought for a few seconds before replying. “We could always use more help so sure, as long as you can act, you can be in the movie. Now,” he raised his voice the address the whole crew, “all you peck-necks stop gawking and get the peck back to work. I want everything setup and ready to go in five minutes, got it?”

There was a frenzy as the owls and penguins resumed setup, going double time. The Subconites all rushed over to either watch or help too. Grooves wasn’t sure which because the Conductor had turned to start approaching him. Which meant he probably had something to say about what just happened and knowing him, it probably wasn’t good.

“I’ve never heard you swear before Grooves,” he said, his voice smug and far too satisfied.

“Uh… uh…” Grooves looked away and adjusted his jacket. He could try to lie and say he hadn’t sworn but… he’d been rather loud about it, especially that first swear. “I was surprised by their sudden appearance.” He looked back up at the Conductor.

“More like scared. You looked about ready to piss your pants there.”

He might’ve been but… “I was not.”

“I’d say I won’t tell anyone about the swearing or being frightened by the harmless Subconites but everyone already saw and heard so everyone and all their families will know in less than a week.” That was unfortunately true, things never remained secret among the Dead Brid Studios crew.

Grooves frowned at him. “You’re going to bring this up again, aren’t you?” Because in his eyes Grooves no longer had the high ground when it came to trying to convince the Conductor to stop swearing so much.

“Yep, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t? But let’s get back to work, we got a movie to shoot and we just got some new actors to help us do it.”

It took a couple seconds before Grooves moved to follow the Conductor back towards the crew. That… had been the first time the Conductor had referred to him as a friend. Even after they’d stopped being rivals, he’d always insisted on referring to Grooves as such. Apparently not anymore though. … Grooves was happy about that despite the circumstances. What he wasn’t happy about though was the fact that from now on whenever Grooves scolded him about cursing, the Conductor would probably bring this incident up, reminding him that he swore sometimes too. It wasn’t the same but Grooves was the only one who cared about that so there was nothing he could do. Oh well, they had a movie to shoot and the work would hopefully ease Grooves’ rattled nerves at least a little bit.