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Sebastian’s breath left moisture on the chilly brick wall of his basement. He liked the cold feeling when he curled up against the wall, and he liked the warm feeling of Sam curled up behind him even more. Unfortunately, the warmth slipped out of the blankets and into the dark expanse of the bedroom, probably collecting his clothes off the floor. He grumbled and felt under his pillow for his cell phone. It was on 1%, but he only needed to check the time. 6:32 a.m.
“What the hell, dude,” he complained as Sam gathered his things. “It’s early.”
“You know it’s Wednesday, right? I gotta go to the museum.” Sam sounded just as exhausted as Sebastian was, so he didn’t press it too much further. “I probably won’t be doing this for much longer.”
“Is it that bad? What else are you gonna do?” Sebastian asked.
“I guess not,” Sam ignored the second question.
Sebastian reached blindly behind the headboard for his charger. Sam saw him struggling and found it for him. “Thanks.”
“No problem. God, I’m gross. I should really shower.”
“You could shower here,” Sebastian offered, knowing he’d never say yes.
“No thanks. I don’t want to have that conversation with your parents. Besides, my work clothes are home.”
“Are you gonna get in trouble for being out all night?”
“Maybe. Probably not. Maybe if I was with a girl.” Sebastian could sense his wink even through the darkness, and he hoped Sam could sense his eye roll. “I gotta go. I’ll see you later.”
“Love you,” Sebastian said, always a little hesitant, but it was getting easier recently.
“Love you too,” Sam replied, and gave Sebastian a solid peck on cold lips. He was out the door and up the stairs in no time.
He considered scrolling on his phone for a while, but Sam was right, and the tiredness was overtaking him. He closed his eyes, and briefly thought he might be awake enough to go upstairs and get some coffee, but before he knew it, he was dreaming again.
He woke again around 11 and immediately checked his phone. There was a link from Abby for something about Solarian Chronicles, but nothing else. He decided he could worry about it later and walked over to his computer. He had two freelance gigs he was working on at once. He was thinking of buying Sam some new guitar strings with the extra money he’d make.
He had only written a few lines of code when he heard the bell over the upstairs door ring happily, signaling someone entering his mother’s shop. He heard the voice of the farmer and finally woke all the way up. The farmer came to visit on his birthday a few days earlier, so they probably weren’t there to see him again, but he still wanted to say hi. He grabbed some sweatpants and a dirty coffee mug he planned on reusing and went upstairs, immediately bombarded by the heat in comparison to his dank basement room.
“Hey, Seb!” The farmer cheered when he entered the foyer. They were leaning against Robin’s desk but had a little basket hanging off their elbow. “I have a gift for you.”
“Another gift? You got me one for my birthday the other day. You’re too generous.”
“This is kind of a make-up present. The one I got you on your birthday wasn’t nearly as cool as this is.” They rummaged around the basket and pulled out a small black box the size of a palm.
“I’m already taken,” Sebastian joked. Robin balked, but it just amused Sebastian, because he was so much more comfortable with the farmer than most people knew.
“Me too,” the farmer said with a laugh, holding out the box. “Shane says hi.”
Sebastian took the box and popped it open. It was a small cerulean gem in the shape of a tear, with icy white frost glistening on the glassy surface. “Holy shit,” he muttered in awe.
“Cool, right? It’s a called a frozen tear. I’m not even sure what it’s made of, but it stays cold forever.” Sebastian picked it out of the velvet and held it to the light in the room. The chill of the gem went straight through his fingers to the bone.
“Yeah, really cool, thanks.” He closed the box and slipped it into his sweatshirt pocket. “Did you come all the way up the mountain to give me this?”
“Well, I had a job for Robin, too.” They turned to Sebastian’s mother, who had been waiting patiently. “A sort of community upgrade, I guess. I’ve been saving up and I just cleared half the trees on my farm, so I have a ton of wood in storage. I want Pam and Penny to have a real house.”
A shocked silence fell over them, and Sebastian swore he heard Maru crack her bedroom door open just enough so she could make sure she wasn’t hearing things.
“Wow, farmer, that’s a really generous investment,” Robin commended. “The price might be a little steep, though. I can’t let you pay in installments if I’m starting from scratch.”
“That’s fine, can you think of an estimate off the top of your head?”
Robin looked down at her books on the desk and began to think out loud. “Well, you’re supplying wood, but there’s the other materials… I’d have to rent some heavy machinery, but it’s a preexisting plot with water and electric hookups… And moving the trailer…”
A wave of sudden annoyance washed over Sebastian. This was adult stuff, with big sums of money that he couldn’t possibly fathom, and it was taking time away from his work, which he needed to do as much of as possible if he wanted to ever get out of this town. He quickly trudged down the stairs and closed the door firmly behind him, tossing the little box the farmer gave him onto the couch and placing the still-empty mug back in its place before returning to his computer.
He only managed to peck out a few lines of code before there was a tentative knock on his door.
“Give me a minute, Mom,” he called, but was surprised at the voice that replied.
“It’s me,” the farmer said.
“Oh, sorry. You can come in.”
The farmer opened the door and Sebastian wondered what else they could possibly want. They took a seat on the little loveseat and Sebastian hoped they wouldn’t notice the haphazardly tossed box. “You okay?” They asked.
Sebastian hated that sort of question. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just worried about stuff.” He tried to work while he talked, but he needed concentration. He shut off his monitor and gave his full attention to the farmer. “Why did you follow me?”
“I don’t know, I can tell when people are upset about stuff. Or even more upset than usual. When you’re married to Shane, you do a lot of spontaneous therapy,” they said, and Sebastian had to laugh at that.
“That’s nice, I guess. My problems aren’t as deep as Shane’s are, probably.”
“Try me.”
Sebastian sighed and leaned back. He racked his brain for the words. “I guess it’s just time to grow up.” The farmer laughed, hard, once, and it caught Sebastian off guard. “What’s so funny?”
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have laughed like that. I was just thinking on the walk over how put-together you are. I lied to myself for years about who I was and what I wanted. I’ve always considered you to be a lot more mature than I was when I was your age.”
“You’re not all that much older than me,” Sebastian disagreed, “and you got out of your parents’ basement before you were twenty.”
“Yeah, into a miserable office job, where my dream life was sitting in an envelope in my desk drawer for three years before I realized how much more there was for me out there.” They leaned back and sighed wistfully, probably thinking back to their two years in Pelican Town. “Has your mom said anything about you living here for so long?”
“No,” Sebastian said, “but I’ve definitely overstayed my welcome.”
“What makes you say that?”
Sebastian’s temper was shortening. “I don’t know, she just seems so weirded out by everything I do, and she’s afraid to talk to me, and I’m twenty living in my mom’s basement.”
“I think those are your insecurities and not things she actually feels. Your relationship with your mom isn’t really my business, and I’m not gonna tell you everything we talk about, but she’s a lot prouder of you than you think. And I think she’s just as scared of you moving out as you are.” Sebastian’s face reddened and he looked everywhere but the farmer. Surely none of that was true. He didn’t have time to think about things like this, and he hated when the farmer made points so articulately. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but these things were just meant to work out.” They stood up.
“You can hang out for a little while if you want,” Sebastian offered out of embarrassed gratitude. “I’m not doing much but you don’t have to leave so suddenly.”
“I would if I could, but there’s a Tunnelers game on tonight, and Alex is coming over for dinner.” They sounded excited. That image confused Sebastian – Shane on the couch with a Joja Cola yelling at the screen, and Alex jumping up and shouting every time someone scores.
“Oh, okay. Have fun.” The farmer stood to leave. “And thanks.”
“No problem, Seb,” they said, “I’ll see you later.”
The door closed firmly behind them and Sebastian was left alone. He booted the monitor screen back up and remembered a message on his work email he had read ten times over. It was from a company he had done freelance jobs for a few times in the past. He pulled it up again, skimming like he usually did.
…We recently hired you for coding on the user interface on our website and we are profoundly impressed by the quality of work and timeliness you offered us. Our records show we have hired you several times in the past and have always gotten equally satisfactory results. If it interests you, we are currently hiring a full-time position on location in Zuzu City and we believe you are more than qualified as a candidate…
The email dragged on about workplace environment, experience requirements, the usual subjects in job offers, but this one was different. It didn’t offer a salary ballpark like most did, which meant this position was a bit more negotiable than the coding desk jockeys they were looking for at Joja or something like that. He also had considered working for this company in the past considering their generous time frames and pay. The only thing stopping him was Sam and Abby still living in Pelican Town for the foreseeable future.
If you are interested in interviewing for this position, please reply to this email as soon as possible so we can set up a conference, in-person or via video chat. We very eagerly await your response.
The message was a few days old. He hadn’t mentioned it to anybody, but he’d never considered another job as seriously as this one before. He decided to keep putting it off, because there was nothing he could do about it until he had some much-needed conversations with several people important to him.
He worked the rest of the day, his worries hidden at the back of his mind as he focused. He eventually went up to get a cup of coffee, and a while after that he went out to smoke a cigarette. He pulled out his phone and messaged Sam.
How was your day? Sam replied almost immediately.
usual. And then, wanna hang?
Sure, Sebastian responded, Where?
hidden dock
Sam’s profile went offline after that message. Sebastian knew exactly where he was talking about, though it was odd for him to suggest it during wintertime. Sebastian was thinking of telling him about the job offer, and that made him anxious to start walking the long trek to the beach. He was still wearing the shirt he slept in last night, but he figured no one would care if he was. He threw on his black hoodie, stepped into his boots, and began the long walk.
Embracing the cold and the soft flurries of snow, he thought about whether he should have invited Abigail. He had forgotten to reply to the text he saw from her that morning when he woke up with Sam. She probably would have wanted to go to the mines where it’s not so cold or to go wreak havoc in the bathhouse. She always wanted to go on an adventure, like a few winters ago when she insisted they all go sneaking around on the abandoned farm. There was a snow squall and they broke into the old farmhouse and huddled to keep warm. They fell asleep there, Sebastian sandwiched between the two of them, and they woke up well after the sun had illuminated the room through the little window. Their parents had all freaked out that they’d gotten lost or frozen and died, so they didn’t bring it up much anymore.
Sam seemed to be down recently, anyway. He had been increasingly eager to spend more time with Sebastian, which wasn’t usually the case, out of fear of overstepping boundaries. Sebastian liked his alone time and wouldn’t be afraid to tell Sam that he needed to be alone. Sam wasn’t as pushy for quality time as Abby was. Sebastian finished the long walk and went to the edge of the beach past Elliot’s cabin. The bridge to the hidden section of the beach was broken for a long time until the farmer came and fixed it, and Sebastian hadn’t realized how much he missed the isolation of the little cove until he had it back. It was one of his and Sam’s favorite spots to have some peace and quiet.
As soon as he thought of Sam, he saw him sitting at the end of the dock. There was a thin dusting of snow on the creaky wood, but Sam didn’t seem to mind. Sebastian didn’t care and took a seat next to him.
“Hey,” Sam said.
“Hey,” Sebastian replied, “how are you?”
“I’m okay,” Sam said, and they were quiet for a moment. For as talkative as Sam was, he respected that Sebastian preferred amicable silence to pointless chatter.
“The farmer is buying Pam a house,” Sebastian said after the quiet became strained. Sam turned to look at him.
“Seriously? That’s gotta cost like, tons of money.”
“I didn’t hear any numbers, but yeah, my mom said it’s gonna be really expensive. They didn’t seem all that concerned about it, though.”
“I didn’t realize parsnips and goat milk made so much money.”
“Me either. But I guess it makes sense. They inherited the farm so it’s not like they have all that many bills to pay. Shane takes care of the kids so they don’t have to worry about childcare or whatever. And all the work on the farm is manual labor.”
“You’ve thought about it, huh? What’s got you all budget-y and mathematical?” It was meant to be teasing, but Sebastian had really thought of it. He’d spoken to the farmer before about the logistics of their livelihood and it really intrigued him. He realized he liked all the adult-talk he had with his close friend, although he wasn’t keen on the actual bill-paying and financial responsibility.
“I guess I have to grow up sometime,” Sebastian explained self-deprecatingly.
“My dad’s getting discharged,” Sam blurted out, like he was trying to change the subject. “Honorably. He’s got a new job lined up, too.”
“Oh.” Sam’s dad being in the service was just a fact of life, and nobody had really adjusted to him being home yet, even after a year. “That’s a good thing, right? Like, getting back into normalcy.”
“I guess. But they’re giving him a bonus, and I guess it’s a lot. He offered to pay my admissions and first semester of college out of pocket. Including housing, if that’s what I choose.”
Sebastian remained in quiet shock. That was a lot to offer, and he knew Sam probably felt pressured. When Kent wrote that he was returning home, Sam had debilitating anxiety for a week thinking that his dad would be disappointed in him for not being an accomplished businessman yet or something. He was wrong, but they went through the same thing when Sam thought Kent was going to disown him for dating a man. He was wrong then, too. It seemed like Sam and Kent hadn’t exchanged more than three words since he’d been home.
“You shouldn’t feel pressured,” Sebastian eventually said.
“Well, I do,” Sam replied.
“The farmer kind of called me out today,” Sebastian said, and they both laughed. “They said that what I think my parents think of me probably just stems from my insecurities.”
“That makes sense,” Sam said. “I guess I haven’t really talked to my dad about what he expects of me. I just kind of assumed.”
“Me too,” Sebastian agreed. “I just figured my mom was sick of me being around all the time. Maybe she is, though. I still haven’t talked to her.”
“I doubt it,” Sam reassured, and he touched Sebastian’s shoulder lightly. Sebastian leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“Is that what’s been getting you down?” Sebastian asked. Sam nodded.
“What about you? Any deep, dark secrets?” Sebastian chuckled at that, but then he thought about it. He should probably tell Sam about the job offer, and how seriously he was considering it.
“Are you guys fucking serious?!” A voice called from behind them, and they jumped. Abigail was approaching them quickly. “I haven’t heard from either of you in two days! I get you guys wanna be down each other’s throats all the time, but I’m still your friend, aren’t I?” Guilt pierced Sebastian’s heart. He truly hadn’t meant to ignore her, but it was easy to get caught up in work, and Sam, and the farmer, and then more work, and then Sam again.
“I’m sorry, Abby,” Sam apologized, “I figured you’d still be busy at the store, and I had to talk to Seb about something.”
“You knew I was done working! And Seb, I texted you this morning, and I know you read it, it literally shows me that you’ve read it. It was important stuff for tomorrow night’s campaign, but if you guys want to keep sneaking around and ignoring me, I can find something else to do.”
“Abby,” Sebastian began, but she began to storm off as quick as she came. Sam jumped up to pursue her, but Sebastian grabbed his arm. “Let me handle this. I think she’s madder at me than you.”
“Okay,” Sam relented, “I need to think for a little while anyway.” He slumped back down, defeated, and Sebastian gave him a solid pat on the head before chasing after Abigail. She was fast. He saw her in the town square when he crossed the bridge from the beach.
“Abby! Stop!” She heard him but kept rushing, and Sebastian wondered if he’d have to follow her into the general store and make a scene. Instead she leaned up against the wall under the canopy, waiting for him to catch up. “I’m sorry.”
“Sure you are,” she said indignantly.
“Sam and I have really stressed lately-”
“Trouble in paradise?” She interrupted. Sebastian stopped feeling guilty and started feeling annoyed.
“You know what? Yeah. Things aren’t always perfect. And we aren’t perfect people. But we aren’t in a relationship just to exclude you.”
That seemed to give Abigail pause. She huffed and crossed her arms, but her angry expression was softening. “It used to be the three of us. The only time it wasn’t all three of us together, it was you and me. I just thought… if things ever changed, if anything ever happened, it would be you and me.”
A wave of bittersweet revelation washed over Sebastian. He liked Abby, as more than a friend, for many years, but he never thought it would happen. Abby was destined for greater things than a basement hermit with a nicotine addiction. He always thought she’d wind up with someone like the farmer, or some heavily tattooed coffee shop barista that had 600 hours on her Final Fantasy VII file. Things didn’t come as easily with Abby as they did with Sam.
“Abby, I’m sorry,” he finally said. He saw her shivering, or maybe starting to cry. He wasn’t sure. “Are you okay? Do you want to continue this conversation inside?”
“I’m done with this conversation.” Abby entered the general store and slammed the door shut behind her. Sebastian didn’t attempt to follow her. He stepped under the canopy to send Sam a text message.
She wants to be left alone for a while. I gotta get home for dinner. Wanna come?
cant, hang tomorrow?
Sure
Sebastian slipped his phone back in his pocket and walked up the mountain path, past the newly restored Community Center, and to his house. He kicked the snow off his boots and shook his sweatshirt to get some of the flakes off before entering. The bell rang annoyingly.
“Sebby? Come on up,” Robin called from the kitchen. Sebastian took his sweatshirt off to hang dry on the coat rack and went to the kitchen, where he expected to see Demetrius and Maru, but it was just Robin waiting on something in the oven to finish cooking. “They’re out doing an experiment in the mines,” she explained without prompt. “They said to eat without them and they’ll just heat up the leftovers.”
“If I skipped dinner for work I wouldn’t get away with it so easily,” Sebastian mumbled.
“Don’t pick fights. We both know your work is self-paced.” Robin opened the oven and poked at the top of a cheesy looking dish with an appetizing brown crust. “Besides, it’s nice to sit with my son every once in a while.” She pulled the dish out of the oven and set it to cool on the stovetop, taking off the oven mitts.
Sebastian took a seat where there was a table setting and sat back, crossing his arms.
“Did you hear about the farmer buying Pam a house?” Robin said to break the awkward silence.
“I was there, remember?”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot. But did you hear the final price?”
“No, I left before I could for a reason.” Sebastian knew he was being difficult, but Robin took it in stride. She grabbed a spatula from a drawer and took Sebastian’s plate, cutting a square chunk and plating it.
“And what would that reason be?” She set his plate in front of him. It had cheese and potatoes and ham. It looked delicious.
“None of my business, I guess. I wouldn’t know anything about houses or loans or whatever.”
“You don’t need to worry about that stuff anyway.” She plated her own meal and sat across from him.
“Yeah, but when will I?” Robin chewed slowly and put her fork down.
“What’s going on, Seb?”
“Nothing,” he assured, but it didn’t fool her.
“Why are you worrying about stuff that you don’t need to be worried about yet? Are you not happy here?”
“It just seems like I’m overstaying my welcome.” He looked away.
“That’s not true. We love having you here.”
“It doesn’t feel that way all the time.”
“I’m sorry if we’ve done something to make you feel like you weren’t welcome home, but that’s not how we feel. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you moved out. Not that it’s any excuse.” Sebastian thought about that for a moment. He hadn’t believed the farmer when they said exactly how much his mom needed him.
“No, I guess you haven’t. I think I’m just frustrated with myself.” He took a deep breath, and then a bite of his food, and then sat back again. “I got a job offer in the city.”
Robin was quiet for a moment. “That’s good. Are you… considering it?”
“Yeah. I’ve gotten offers before, but this one feels different. It also just feels like it’s time for me to do something else.”
“Have you spoken to Sam about it? Abby?”
“Neither. I tried talking to Sam about it, but Abby got upset. She feels left out.”
“Well, obviously.”
“Mom!”
“What?” She said that with her mouth full. “I know you’re really dedicated to Sam. I doubt you want to be far apart. Is he planning on college any time soon? It’s been two years since you graduated.”
“Yeah,” he said, not really wanting to go into more detail.
“Okay. So things are working out.”
“I guess,” Sebastian said, exhausted from the conversation. They ate the rest of their dinner in silence.
~~~
Their Thursday night session of Solarian Chronicles was wordlessly cancelled, but Sebastian had every intention on going to the saloon on Friday, Abby or no Abby. He trudged down the mountain into the town square, running a little late. The winter air stung the way he liked, and his eyes adjusted well to the dimly lit cobblestone pathway. He reached the saloon and swung open the heavy door, making sure to kick the wet snow off his boots before entering. The din of the Stardrop was familiar, and he waved to the farmer buying rounds for everyone at the bar before walking to the side area.
Sam sat on the couch clutching a Joja Cola. There was an untouched pizza on the table next to him, probably a gift from the farmer. Sebastian could see the heat rising from it, so it was still fresh. “Hey,” Sebastian said, approaching and giving Sam a kiss on the cheek.
“Hey,” Sam said and scooted over to make room for Sebastian. “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Sebastian said, grabbing one of the clean plates and cutting himself a thin slice of pizza. Sam decided to dig in, too.
“You seem happier,” Sebastian commented. Sam nodded, mouth full of pizza.
“Mrmph,” he mumbled first, and then swallowed before continuing, “I talked to my dad a little. He said it was only an offer, but it’s too good to pass up. I think…” Sam put the slice of pizza down on his plate. “I think it’s time for a change, anyway.”
“I feel the same way,” Sebastian said timidly. They locked eyes. “I… haven’t been telling you something.”
“Oh,” Sam said, and Sebastian realized he said the wrong thing to an anxious person.
“No, it’s not bad, sorry,” he immediately corrected and decided to just get on with it. “I got a job offer in the city. A good one. And I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”
“That’s freaking awesome, dude!” Sam shouted, startling Sebastian. “This works out perfect!” If Sebastian knew how excited Sam would be at the news, he would have told him a lot sooner.
“What’s awesome?” A voice said. They turned to see Abby wrapped up in a huge fluffy coat, covered in snow. She didn’t look angry.
“Oh, uh, Sebastian got a job.”
“I didn’t accept anything yet,” he rushed to correct. “We just have some options.”
Abby looked at them blankly, and then walked over and sat on the couch next to Sam. She grabbed a plate and a slice of pizza. “I’m sorry for being an asshole, guys.”
“That’s okay,” Sebastian said. “We were kind of being assholes, too.”
“Yeah,” Sam agreed.
“Are you guys leaving? Pelican Town, I mean?” She asked quietly.
“Not right now,” Sebastian said.
“Not, like, soon, but maybe like, soon. You know?” Sam tried to explain. Abby laughed.
“That makes no sense, but I know what you mean.” She took another bite and put the plate on her lap. “I finished my classes,” she blurted, staring down at the half-eaten slice. “Well, I’m almost done. I have a final paper to write.”
“That’s good,” Sebastian encouraged. “How many more semesters do you have?”
“…None,” she hesitated to reply. “I thought I had more credits to take, but I did the math wrong. I’ll have my two-year degree by the end of the month.”
“Oh.” Sebastian was taken by surprise. They had never really talked about it, and Sebastian operated under the assumption that Abby would be taking online classes forever.
“Well, that’s good, right? No more schoolwork,” he finally said.
“Yeah, that’s one option,” Abby continued, “or I could get a four-year. They don’t offer those online, though.” She grabbed Sam’s soda out of his hand and took a sip.
“There’s plenty you can do with a two-year,” he argued, “I don’t even have a degree and I’m fine. Don’t feel pressured to commit to something like that if you don’t have to.”
“I guess. But there’s definitely not much I can do still living in Pelican Town.” They all ate their pizza in companionable silence. Sam eventually went for a second slice, and Abby handed him the soda back.
“I think I’m gonna take the job,” Sebastian said.
“I think I’m gonna go to college,” Sam said.
“I think I’ll go with you,” Abby said. They looked at each other. “That’s all in the city, right? We can all move to the city?”
“Yeah,” Sebastian said wistfully.
“Do you think we could get an apartment? Like a two-bedroom or something, and split the rent? Or should we just sneak Sebastian into the dorms with us? Oh, I could buy a car with my savings! We could commute!”
“I don’t want to drive forty minutes to the city every day,” Abby said. “And what if our classes are at different times?”
“We’ll just take all the same classes!” Sam said confidently.
“I already have my two-year! And I know you’re not majoring in English!”
“Ugh, fine,” Sam says, still content. Sebastian smiled at their bickering.
“We’ll have to talk to our parents about money and stuff. And I haven’t even gotten the job yet.”
“Let me be happy!” Sam argued, but it was playful. Sebastian pinched his cheek out of impulse.
“Ugh, you guys are gay,” Abby said.
“Yeah, we are!” Sam said proudly.
I know it doesn’t feel like it, but these things were just meant to work out, the farmer had said. Sebastian was glad he listened.