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“You have to consider if you’re the right fit for this.”
The deep rumble of Dilan’s voice boomed across the room, loud enough that Isa could hear it from the hallway. It helped, of course, that he had his ear pressed to the smooth metal door, his brows knit tightly together.
“If you aren’t able to control your emotions, how do you expect us to think you worthy of this position?”
Captain Dilan had pulled Lea aside after another day of work, as soon as Isa and Lea had been reunited. Isa had only gotten enough of a glimpse of Lea’s face to tell he’d been crying when he was whisked away. Isa was told not to involve himself, but why wouldn’t he follow them and listen at the door?
So far, he hadn’t heard Lea say anything, even when Isa held his breath and pressed his ear as close to the door as he could.
They were deep in the labs, at least a few levels underneath the castle; a place they’d snuck into many times before, but were only recently allowed inside. A mere two months after joining as the King’s Apprentices, and they were shown some of the more sensitive experiments. The more secret.
Isa had been let in on them, first, a mere week ago. By the sound of things, Lea had gotten his first real taste, today.
“See? You’re sniveling even now!” Isa hoped he wasn’t imagining the concern in Dilan’s voice. He hoped he hoped he hoped “If you can’t shape up and keep a straight face, you won’t be permitted to continue this, and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that we can’t exactly let you go.”
“Wha-!?” It was the first noise that came from Lea, and it made Isa’s heart clench. He could hear the tears in Lea’s voice, the snot built up in his sinuses. Isa closed his eyes and tried hard not to think too much about it. “What do you mean!?”
“I mean.” Isa had to strain to hear Dilan’s next words, but he still could not catch them. He imagined Dilan mere inches from Lea’s face, his purple eyes glaring daggers into Lea’s watery green. He didn’t want to think about the horror on Lea’s face; Lea was an open book. If Dilan was threatening him, his eyes would go wide and his mouth would drop open. Likely, he would-
Lea started to cry loudly. Isa grit his teeth. Whatever Dilan had said-
“No- no! You don’t have to worry about that!” Lea coughed and sniveled his way through the words. He would never plead, too proud for that in his own way, but to Isa his words sounded like feeble, desperate begging. “I’ll toughen up! I’m just- It’s just a lot, okay? Give me a break, I’m a kid!”
“Your age is of little importance.” Dilan’s voice grew closer to the door, and Isa had to scramble away as quietly as he could. He ducked around a nearby corner and stood against the wall. As quickly as he could, he composed himself, wiping all expression from his face and propping one foot against the wall. He curled one hand and stared down at his nails, pretending to inspect them.
As outwardly cool as he looked, Isa’s mind inside was ablaze with possibilities. Dilan’s implications were not lost on him, even if he hadn’t heard the outright threat spoken. They had known they would be taking risks, joining the Apprentices as they did, but to experience what they had, so far? To be threatened on the pain of death or something even worse to cooperate?
Was She worth losing Lea over?
Isa steadied himself with a breath just in time for Dilan to walk briskly past him, his arms folded behind his back. Neither the man nor the teen even glanced each other’s way, but each knew he did not go unnoticed.
Lea trudged slowly after Dilan, his shoulders slumped and his hands jammed as far as possible in his lab coat pockets. It was his week on “science duty” - both teens alternated, switching back and forth each week between training with the Guard and studying with Even, with the promise that they would be free to choose one to remain with given enough time.
“Finally,” Isa drawled, loud enough for Dilan to hear. “It’s only Monday, and you’re already in trouble? I knew you were a loser, Lea, but not this bad.”
Lea picked his head up enough to make eye-contact. His eyes were completely bloodshot, the skin around them red and puffy. He glanced past Isa, who watched for the appropriate signal that Captain Dilan was gone. Instead of that, however, Lea lurched forward and wrapped his arms around Isa. His ascot dug into Isa’s shoulder as he squeezed harder than he’d ever hugged Isa in his life. The tears began to fall anew.
“I can’t do this, Isa!” he sobbed. “They made me- They made me-!!!”
“I know…” Hesitantly, Isa reached up to wrap his arms around Lea. He thought, for a moment, how he wished they hugged like this more often, albeit under different circumstances. Any chance to hold Lea close was like a drink of water in the middle of a desert, but he had to push those thoughts away. Now wasn’t the time. “I know what they did…”
“I can’t back out!” Lea buried his face in Isa’s lapel, pushing his eyes and the bridge of his nose into it but leaving his mouth free to talk. “He said if I can’t handle this, he’s going to chuck me into one of the cells! One of the cells, Isa!”
Isa’s hold tightened, not imperceptibly.
The previous week, Isa was let in on one of Radiant Garden’s greatest secrets. So secret, even, that her King did not know of them. Even had led him down several flights of stairs and into a vast hall lined with… cells. They were nothing like where they had found Her, but far more sinister.
Even had explained to him then, that they were conducting important research on the human Heart, testing its limits. Their research was for the good of the whole Kingdom. No, the whole World. Isa didn’t believe a lick of it, but he pretended to. He pretended to hang on every one of Even’s words; He pretended to share in his passion and enthusiasm; and he pretended his skin didn’t crawl at the muffled screaming coming from within the cells.
They were tiny, locked rooms, with doors that shut with vast hydraulic locks, with a porthole of thick, unbreakable glass allowing a view inside. This hallway alone must have contained fifty, at least, and Isa could not tell how many were filled with people, one to a cell. Some beat against the glass as Even and Isa strode by, screaming in terror, pleading in desperation, or roaring with righteous fury.
They were exposing these people - which Even refused to call them - to any number of varying negative emotions and measuring the effect it had on their Heart. Apparently Darkness was a tangible thing, rather than a simple absence of light, and it built and built in a person’s Heart, under the right conditions, until it turned them into monsters.
Isa had warned Lea about all of this, of course. He was under strict orders not to, but their loyalties lay with each other, not the Apprentices - not even the King. Isa had spilled everything to Lea, from the first walks and observations, to the data, to the last day, when Isa was tasked with injecting a serum into a young woman that would force her to undergo hours of constant panic until either her heart or her Heart gave out, whichever came first.
Isa could still hear her screams.
Of course, Lea had claimed he would be able to handle it. He had puffed up his chest and jerked one thumb toward himself.
Anything to save her! He had said. And anything to save as many people as we can, too!
But now he slumped, trembling in Isa’s arms, certain he would be twisted into one of those grotesque creatures, with eyes like yellow boat lights, wide and unblinking, slobbering Darkness and attacking anything that moved without discrimination. The very thought was enough to make Isa sick.
“I’m gonna die, Isa, I’m gonna die!” He sobbed hard against his best friend’s shoulder.
“No. You won’t.” Isa curled his fingers in Lea’s lab coat, grabbing up great fistfulls in determination. “I won’t let that happen, Lea. I won’t.”
“But what can we do!?” He sniffed and finally leaned back (Isa couldn’t chase away the disappointment) and looked into his friend’s eyes. His face was soaked and red, unevenly blotchy, and Isa’s traitorous mind couldn’t stop thinking that he looked cute, in a weird way. “It’s not like I can just- just stop crying!”
“We’ll figure something out, okay?” Isa pulled his sleeve over his hand and reached up to wipe Lea’s face clean. The redhead squeezed his eyes shut when Isa scrubbed at his cheek. “We have to. There is no other option, okay?”
“Heheh…” Lea sniffed loudly again and rubbed at his nose. “You got that look in your eye again.” When Isa’s only response was to furrow his brows, Lea continued, “The same one you got when you came up with this whole plan. Like the whole world couldn’t stop you.”
“Well… it won’t.”
---
“So… this’ll really work?”
The two teens sat on the floor of Isa’s bedroom, facing one another. Lea was kneeling, and Isa sat cross-legged, chewing on a piece of beef jerky while he read through one of his journals.
“Of course it will.” Isa was not usually one to speak with his mouth full, but sometimes his manners were lost when he focused on something. Lea kind of always admired his friend’s drive and passion to get things done. When he set a goal for himself, he really never backed down until he saw it through.
Which, Lea guessed, was why they were even there in the first place.
“Mother taught me this spell last year, when-” Isa cut himself off, suddenly, and his ears went a little red. “Actually, I don’t remember when, but I remember her teaching it to me.”
Isa thought he was such a slick liar, but they had been friends for so long, Lea could see through him in an instant. He blushed from his ears, first, when he was embarrassed about something, which was a pretty obvious tell. And, of course, he was reading his journal, so obviously if he didn’t remember why his Mom taught him a spell, he could read it right there. Lea wanted to know, but he didn’t push. It wasn’t really the time for pushing.
“And you have everything you need for it?”
“Mhm.” Isa popped the rest of the jerky into his mouth and focused on chewing for a moment. While he did that, he reached into a small pouch sat by his side and pulled out a few supplies. Three candles, one red, one blue, and one pale silver. He checked his notes, then set them up in a small triangle shape between the two of them.
“Wow… this is an old one, huh?” Lea wrinkled his nose and poked the blue candle. Isa slapped his hand away. “You’re breakin’ out the big guns.”
“It’ll- mph.” Isa swallowed the dried meat and reoriented the candles, checked his notes, and then continued to dig through the pouch. It was an old hand-me-down, something about passing from first-born daughter to first-born daughter in Isa’s family. Isa was an only child, though, so he got a special pass to inherit it. “It’ll last a really long time if we do it this way. I could just say the magic word, but then it would only last a week or so, I think.”
“So why not just re-cast it every week?” Lea folded his arms behind the back of his head and heaved a heavy sigh. “It’s such a pain to do all this!”
“And if I’m busy?” Isa snapped, his nose wrinkling. “Or worse? We have to plan for the long term, Lea.”
Whatever amount of levity Lea was trying to bring fizzled out in an instant. He lowered his arms to his lap and his shoulders slumped. Isa cast a sharp glance his way, and then his hands stilled in the pouch. He glared at Lea, the way he always glared when he was worried, like he was mad at Lea for making him feel concern. Lea had always liked that.
“What is it?”
“You’re making this whole thing sound so real…”
“Well, it is real.” Isa resumed his rustling and finally found a lighter. The thing was ancient and looked heavy in Isa’s hand. It had a flip-top and a big wheel to start it. Most notably were the runes emblazoned on it, all glowing bright green-blue with light leaching out from a big gem on top of the lid. Lea remembered Isa telling him about how it was his great-great-great grandmother’s or something.
“I know… But doesn’t it make it easier if we think of it like a… an adventure in a storybook, or somethin’?” Lea’s eyes met Isa’s, his hopefulness unbothered by the steely realism in his friend’s gaze.
“No.” Isa looked down and flicked the lighter’s wheel. It sparked, and the flame started instantly, the same blue as the runes. “But if it helps you, then by all means.”
Neither said anything as Isa lit the candles, murmuring soft prayers under his breath. The blue one was first, then the red, and then the pale silver. Isa lingered on that last one, muttering an extra little oath to it before pulling his hands away.
They waited for a few minutes as the candles burned down somewhat, and then Isa produced a small bowl, into which he poured a little bit of wax from each candle.
“It shouldn’t wear off, but if it does, you shouldn’t need the wax again. I just… really want it to stick.” Isa breathed in deep and set the bowl down between the candles. The wax remained liquid, despite there being very little of it. Lea leaned forward and nodded, face drawn up into a determined frown.
“The idea is, the Sun gives you passion, and the Moon gives you composure.” Isa reached up and pressed his hands to Lea’s cheeks, holding his head steady. “Hold still right here.” He let go to look at his book, and Lea felt a sour twist in his stomach. The anticipation was too much.
“So… we need to call upon the Moon’s power to strengthen your, well, composure.” Isa’s eyes met his. “Are you ready?”
“As long as the magic words aren’t in Old Radiance. I was never good at that stuff.” Lea stuck his tongue out, and Isa flicked his nose. Despite the situation, they both laughed. A little.
“It’s about the intention, not the words.” Isa glanced down at the book one more time. For a moment, Lea could see the anxiety plain on his face before it slipped back behind his usual stoic mask. Not that it mattered. Lea could see through it, anyway. “You ready?”
“Yeah, man, c’mon!” Lea bounced in place. Isa flicked his cheek, that time.
Silence settled between them, but not the usual comfortable friendship silence. The air took on a certain gravity that Lea recognized as the channeling of Magic Power. Isa’s eyes went sharp, focused, but not on what was physically in front of him. Lea could tell - because they were both actually pretty good at magic - that Isa’s mind was on the flow of Magic through his body, bolstered by the moonlight streaming in through the window.
The flames of the candles shifted, tinting red and then blue.
Isa held his hands out in front of him, fingers splayed, palms facing one another. His gaze floated down to them. The moonlight seemed to brighten upon them.
“I call upon the Moon’s cool light.” He lowered his hands to the bowl of wax, still liquid despite how little there was, and he dipped his thumbs in. “You focus your energy on the Moon and all it stands for. Serenity. Order. Healing.”
Isa paused suddenly and stared down at the wax. “Oh.”
“What’s wrong?” Lea looked to the wax, then to Isa’s face, then the journal, searching for a reason why Isa might have stopped. The spell still hung in the air - Isa was always good at keeping a spell going. It was really impressive. Lea always had to stop and start again.
“This leaves a mark…” Isa’s eyes found Lea’s once more. The air got a little heavier. “I forgot to warn you…”
For what felt like a long time, they simply stared at each other. Lea didn’t really care that much about a little mark on his face, but it seemed like Isa did. Or at least, he was staring at Lea with something that looked sort of like fear or regret in his eyes. It took Lea a minute, but he started to feel it, too.
“I mean…” Lea glanced down to Isa’s hands. Liquid wax still coated the pads of his thumbs, not drying, but not dripping either. He held the spell with such finesse… He snapped his attention back up. “As long as it isn’t, like… dicks or something.”
“Ugh! No, Lea, It isn’t gonna be- you’re the worst!”
Lea laughed and grinned and tapped the side of his head. Every time he got under Isa’s skin, Lea liked to remind him that it only meant they’d be together forever. Got it memorized?
“Well, in that case! Let’s get on with it!” He grinned, all wide and cheesy, with his eyes closed. When he opened them again, he saw Isa trying not to smile. Isa shuffled in his spot and started refocusing his spell.
“I hate you so much.” His voice was low, a half-mumble, and almost more to himself than to Lea.
“You know you love me.” Lea leaned forward and tilted his head back, giving Isa a good angle on his face. Isa’s only response was a mumble Lea couldn’t make out.
“Serenity. Order. Healing.” Isa repeated himself, and Lea could feel Magic Power gathering in front of his face, strong. It made his sinuses feel kind of full. “Focus on taking all of that passion from the Sun and putting it away. You’re packing it up and putting it away in storage. Once you can feel that, you just-”
He pushed his thumbs against Lea’s cheeks, right on the crest of his cheekbones. The liquid wax felt like ice cubes pushing deep into his skin, and he hissed. That feeling of fullness in his sinuses tripled ten times over, and then suddenly, it went away.
“There… it’s done.”
Lea opened his eyes, and Isa was holding a little compact mirror in front of his face. He took it and examined the new marks, upside-down teardrops, the same shade of purple the wax had taken on when mixed.
“Well… how ‘bout that?” Lea handed the mirror back. Without the magic hanging around them, the air felt empty and still uneasy. The reality of what they had done and, more importantly, why they had done it settled in. “Now I can, um… do this, huh?”
“Yeah…” Isa lifted another hand and brushed his thumb (clean, no more wax) against one of the new marks. Lea closed the eye on that side, but the other stayed trained on Isa’s face. Something had shifted. It felt an awful lot like they’d pressed the start button on something they could never ever stop. “Now you can do this.”