Work Text:
You’d been working the case for a week. Neighbours had phoned the police when they noticed a strong smell coming from Petty Officer Ashley Hudson’s apartment. She’d been murdered, cause of death: an excessive amount of stab wounds. Jimmy declared she’d been dead approximately 48 hours before being discovered, hence the smell.
You’d gone to speak to her CO with McGee. CO Wallace was charming and overly determined to help you find the man who’d killed PO Hudson, he was also teeming with fragile masculinity and arrogance. You noticed the way his lip curled in frustration when Hudson was mentioned and despite how ‘helpful’ he was trying to be he made sure to mention that Hudson was always causing problems and being insubordinate despite there not being a single report supporting this. You didn’t like how he seemed incapable of addressing you, subtly finding ways to direct all his answers to McGee instead.
When you got back to NCIS, Bishop told you about how PO Hudson had told her sister about a man that was bothering her but never mentioned his name. Just that he was relentless in his advances. You’d spoken to PO Hudson’s friend/fellow PO who had some less than stellar things to say about CO Wallace and his behaviour towards Hudson. You were sure that it was him that had killed her.
The only evidence was the end of a knife in the victim’s body and a few clothing fibres. You’d hope the clothing fibres would link to something obvious like a military uniform however it was just a common black t-shirt which wasn’t enough to get a warrant. The knife was part of a set from PO Hudson’s kitchen, making your crime of passion theory more likely.
With PO Hudson’s friend’s testimony, you were sure you could cause enough reasonable doubt but before you had the chance to go speak to her again, she’d rather suddenly been ordered to sea and out of reach.
You ended up inviting Wallace under the pretence of needing more information for the case, however, when he arrived, he came with an expensive-looking lawyer which didn’t allow you the opportunity to question him as you wanted too. The lawyer had eventually threatened a harassment suit and Vance said you didn’t have cause to hold him, so you’d been forced to let him go.
You stood in the bullpen and watch as Wallace made his way to the elevator and winked at you on the way. He was due to return to duty in the next couple of days which meant he’d be on a ship out of reach for months. Your case was screwed, and a murderer was going to walk free.
You’d argued with Gibbs about finding a way to keep him here but without evidence, there was nothing he could do. McGee, Bishop and Torres had watched you warily from their desks as you’d thrown stuff in your bag, slamming desk draws and stormed out of the building.
It was late, nearly 8 pm and you headed straight to a bar. It was dark and pretty empty and the perfect place to drown your sorrows. Jack had phoned you, which you ignored, and then she’d texted you asking if you were ok, resulting in you turning your phone off completely and ordering another drink. It wasn’t that you weren’t grateful that she cared, because you were, it’s just she’d want to talk about how you’re feeling and she’d be all understanding and kind and she’d smile at you which always made your stomach erupt with butterflies.
You just wanted to drink, to forget and definitely not think about the disappointed but concerned look Jack would be giving you if she knew what you were currently doing.
Now it was about an hour later, you were about 3 drinks in and starting to feel the effects of the alcohol as is travelled through your system. The thought of dancing to the bad music filling the bar was beginning to sound more appealing.
“Hey beautiful” The voice interrupts your thoughts and you turn to face a man who’s already standing too close, a leer on his face and the smell of stale beer wafting from his body. You resist the urge to grimace in disgust. “What do ya drink?”
“Sorry, I’m not interested.”
“Awh come on darlin’. What can I get ya?”
You lift the side of the jacket to reveal the NCIS badge clipped to your trousers “Not interested.” You repeat and the man looks down at the badge grinding his teeth in mild anger. You lift your eyebrows daring him to try something, but he seems to think better of it and backs away.
You sigh in relief, going back to your drink. You think maybe you should call it a night and head home but the thought of going home to your empty apartment fills you with dread. You instead order another drink, including a shot this time as well. You down the shot immediately, choking on the strong liquor you wash the taste away with a sip of your drink.
You were beginning to feel floaty and were about to get up and dance when Jack enters the bar. She sighs in relief when she sees you. She’s still dressed in the same clothes from the day at work, with an added winter coat to help with the frosty air. Her hair’s a little dishevelled from the long day and you can’t help but think she’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.
She takes her phone from her coat pocket, removing her gloves in the process, and begins tapping on it before holding it up to her ear “Yes, I’ve found her. Thank you, Tim.” You’re too far away to hear the response “No, go home. I’ve got her. Yes, I’ll see you at work on Monday, have a good weekend.” She ends the call, shoving her phone back into her pocket before she walks over to you, sliding onto the barstool next to you, she bumps your shoulder.
“Special Agent Sloane” you smirk, holding your glass up in cheers before taking another sip.
“You don’t make it easy to track you down,” She says it jokily, but her concern is plastered all over her face.
“And yet you’re here less than 2 hours after I left NCIS.”
She ignores your snide comment. “How are you?”
You roll your eyes “I’m fine. I’m drinking.” Jack looks unimpressed as you continue to drink. Well aware of your bullshit she just watches you, waiting for you to continue. “I’m angry” you finally whispered, looking away from Jack’s knowing eyes.
She places a comforting hand on your arm and your eyes instantly tear up. You take a deep breath, pulling all your emotions back. You shrug Jack’s hand off your arm and distract yourself with your drink.
“Don’t do that” Jack chastised, and you sigh loudly. “Y/N-”
“Can we not.” You snap, your buzz dampened. “I was here alone because I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Tough shit” Your head snaps over to Jack in surprise “This case has affected you a lot and you need to talk about that, otherwise you’re just going to end up doing something stupid.”
You don’t respond, choosing instead to finish your drink and order another one. Jack sighs in frustration.
“How much have you had to drink?”
“Not enough apparently.” you quip.
“Alcohol isn’t going to solve your problems.”
You laugh bitterly “Maybe not but it’s a damn good distraction.”
“Y/N-”
“Jack just stop!” You rub your forehead in frustration trying to soothe the headache you feel coming along. The alcohol was only heightening your emotions instead of suppressing them as you’d hoped. Jack is still watching you with concern and it makes you angrier because you don’t want to do this. You just need her to stop, you don’t want to think. “I can’t…” you take a deep breath as your voice cracks. You shake your head in frustration and Jack goes to touch you and you basically fall out of your seat in the hurry to escape her grasp. “Don’t…I-”
Jack’s hands shoot up in surrender, but you see the hurt flash across her face. You don’t want to upset her; you feel the ache in your chest grow. Your heads swarming from the alcohol, you’re dizzy and hot and need to get out of here. “I need to go” You choke. Turning around you run from the bar. Ignoring Jack’s calls of protest and confusion.
You stumble down the street, arms wrapped around yourself to help protect you from the cold air. You’d forgotten to pick up your coat in the rush to get out of the bar and now you were walking around with your flimsy blazer which wasn’t helping at all. The cold air was making the effects of the alcohol more prominent. Your head was fuzzy, and your eyes begin to well up both from the freezing temperature and your swarm of building emotions.
It was stupid to run away; you knew she’d be coming to look for you.
You’d been so convinced you could get this guy, that his arrogance would allow you to entrap him in some way, but he was too protected, too many friends in high places. No one was as outraged as you and it didn’t make sense, the scumbag had killed PO Hudson because she kept rejecting his advances. You wanted everyone to be furious.
In your drunken state, and fast walking you don’t notice the icy pavement ahead of you. You trip, falling onto the floor and twisting your ankle awkwardly. You groan in pain. Your hands are scratched up and you can’t manoeuvre yourself up from the floor, sighing in frustration you dig your phone from your pocket.
You turn it on as your hands tremble and you’re surprised to see a flourish of texts and calls appear from Jack from earlier this evening.
Oh.
You’d know she’d been concerned, but you hadn’t realised just how much. You hang your head in shame, groaning. You’d been such an ass; all she was doing was being helpful and you’d just shouted at her and ran away.
You hit her number and listen impatiently as it rings.
“Look Y/N I can just go home-”
“I’m sorry” you interrupt hating Jack’s upset (and slightly pissed off) voice. You move slightly and then inhale sharply as your ankle twinges.
“Are you ok?” the concern is back instantly.
“Please come get me…” You wince, another sharp pain shooting through your ankle. You hated how pathetic you sounded.
“Where are you?”
“I only got a few streets away. I can’t see a street sign and I can’t move. I slipped; I think I’ve sprained my ankle” you groan. Jack assures you she’ll be there soon and hangs up. You wait, now freezing cold, your ass soaking wet from the icy floor.
She arrives a couple of minutes later, stopping her car in front of you, she rushes over. Grabbing you by the arms Jack helps pull you from the ground and you bite your lip to try and hide just how much pain you were in.
“Are you ok?” Jack’s face is full of worry and concern, her hands ghost over you as if to check you were all still there and you try to ignore the feelings it erupts in you. “You’re freezing.”
“I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry. I’m drunk and sad and angry and you were being too nice, and I needed to getaway. You were going to get me to talk because I can literally never say no to you-” You miss the slight blush that hits Jack’s cheeks “but I’m angry Jack. I’m angry and I don’t understand why no one else is.” You’re finding it hard to breathe as you let all your emotions from the last week hit.
Jack moves her hands back to your face, making you focus on her. “Hey. It’s ok. Just breathe” You copied her as she took deep breaths. “Let’s get you home ok?” she said after you’d calmed down slightly. You nodded weakly and she helped you to the car.
“I’m really sorry for tonight” The car is silent, Jack focused on the road and you on looking anywhere but at Jack.
“I’m sorry for pushing you to open up” Jack hesitates “But you do know I’m always here to talk to, right? Or not talk to, whatever you need.”
Jack’s still focused on the road, but you look over to her smiling slightly as you admire her “my super special agent” The words escape your mouth without your permission, you were definitely too drunk to be this close to her. Jack’s head swings round to look at you causing your stomach to explode with butterflies. She looks surprised, her face red. Seeing you watching her she looks back to the road, clearing her throat.
The rest of the journey is silent and you’re grateful when she pulls up outside your apartment. Jack grabs your bag and coat from the back seat and moves around the car to help you get out, an arm wrapped around your waist to keep you balanced, as she helps you up the stairs to your apartment. Making sure you’re steady, she lets go of you as she digs through your bag for your keys.
Once the door is open you both enter, Jack goes off to find something for your ankle, and you wobble to your bedroom. You quickly get out of your wet and cold clothes. Selecting a comfy pair of pyjama trousers and a t-shirt you slip them on before hopping over to your bed. You lie down, sinking into your covers shivering slightly as you try to warm up.
Jack enters carrying a glass of water and a frozen pack of peas wrapped in a dishcloth and a small first aid box. You’ve already placed a pillow underneath your ankle and Jack gently places the peas over the top. She then sets your glass on the bedside table, before sitting next to you on the bed with the first aid box.
“Let me clean your hands and then you need to drink the water” You nod as Jack cradles one of your hands in hers. They are scraped and red but luckily no proper cuts which meant their likely was little to no gravel in there. She takes an antiseptic wipe. “This is going to sting” You nod, and Jack begins to wipe the area.
“Son of a-” you gasp flinching lightly, cutting yourself off before you swear and Jack laughs lightly, rolling her eyes.
“Hold still, I’m nearly done” Jack chastised, taking your other hand and continuing to clean. You gasp again and Jack looks over to you, your eyes meeting and you both still. She’s now tied her hair up into a messy ponytail with strands of hair framing her face. You want to reach out and touch them, touch her. Jack was watching you closely and you wondered if she felt any of the things you did. You should look away, but you can’t seem to manage, held captive by Jack’s eyes. You just needed to reach out and-
You kiss her. It’s soft and slow and for a few beautiful seconds, Jack is kissing you back.
Then she sharply pulls away.
She stares at you in shock, her fingers ghosting her lips and you watch her as about 5 different emotions flash across her face in a couple of seconds.
Jack’s eyes start to ghost before she releases a choked “you’re drunk.”
“I’m sobering up.” you rebut instantly.
“Y/N-” Jack’s shaking her head now.
“I want this.” You’re surprised by how firm and confident your voice is, but it’s true. You want this so badly, wanted it for so long.
“I can’t do this-”
“Jack-”
“No. This shouldn’t have happened, you’re drunk, and you’ve had a bad week and-”
“I want this.” you repeat, reaching out to touch Jack’s cheek but she pulls away before you can, and tears begin to trickle down her cheeks.
“Please stop…” She begs and your chest aches.
“I promise you I’d want this completely sober; I’ve just been too shit scared to do anything.” You must be slightly convincing as Jack finally meets your eyes again. You gently wipe away the tears from her face and she releases a shaky breath.
“I can’t do this. Not while you’ve got alcohol in your system. You mean a lot to me Y/N and I don’t want you to say these things just to turn around and regret them in the morning-”
“I’m not-”
“Just listen please” Jack begs “I’m going to go now and if you mean it, and I mean really mean it Y/N, then phone me tomorrow. If you don’t” Jack’s voice wobbles “than we can forget about it and move on.”
“Ok” you nod and Jack leans over to you leaving a lingering kiss on your cheek, before ducking her head and getting off your bed. “I really do mean it, Jack.” You say as she turns to look at you. She gives you a small smile, but you can see the doubt in her eyes before she turns back around and leaves.
Once you hear your front door shut, you lean back into your bed. A bright smile crosses your face before you drift off to sleep.