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“Hey! Don’t throw up in my—”
And, yep. He’s throwing up in Will’s favourite pot plant.
He heaves a sigh, considers Dick’s curled over position. Retching reaching his ears as he vomits up his stomach in his plant.
Breaths a lighter sigh as he makes his way over. Footfall quiet and spaced. Takes the time to catch Dick’s hair with an eye-roll, drawing it back where he can’t. Fingers locked too tightly around the ceramic edge, like the world’s about to fall on its side.
Will can feel the sweat gathering on his scalp, soft hair dirtied in sickness. And when he finally pauses to breath, he stays next to him. Threads his fingers through, absent hum quiet next to Dick’s breathing.
“Ya good?”
Dick tilts his head, cheek resting against the pot as he fails to raise it just yet. Breaths through his teeth, “Fine.”
Will raises an eyebrow. “Uh-huh. Try that again when you’re not collapsing on my doorstep.”
There’s grumbling then, “I didn’t collapse.”
Will scoffs, throws Dick’s arm over his shoulder to drag him to his feet. There’s a second where Dick’s not with the program at all, Will carrying him two steps, then he’s stumbling to stand. Only half leaning on Will.
All things considered, Will’s kinda impressed.
He manages to arrange Dick on the couch. Stands to regard him, Dick’s eyes visibly blurred as he tries to follow the movement.
He’s in civvies so either he dragged himself into a change of clothes or he’d been wandering around sick like this. Honestly, neither is getting any sympathy.
Crosses his arms, says, “Seriously, if you wake Lian up I’m dumping you in Arty’s room. You’ve got three seconds to expand from ‘totally not collapsing on my doorstep’, Dick.”
Dick gives up looking at him. Dodges answering to say, “You’re such a dad.”
Will’s expression barely has time to shift before Dick’s answering. Waves at him halfheartedly. “You’re doing your dad thing.”
It’s not really an insult and Will glances down at himself before looking at Dick again. “Hm.” Snatches up the blanket abandoned on the coffee table to throw at his head. Dick flails in surprise, sulk audible as he drags it off his head to glare.
Will smirks. “Okay, hot stuff. What’s the deal? Bleeding out or what?”
Dick scowls at the rumbled blanket, doesn’t achieve much more than looking like an affronted puppy. “I’m fine.” Goes to sit up but Will rolls his eyes, flicks the bridge of his nose, Dick falling back again with a huff.
He stares at the ceiling barely lucid and Will seriously considers leaving him on the couch.
“Dick, I’m stealing that blanket and leaving if you don’t tell me what’s up.”
Dick huffs, curls one arm around the blanket protectively. Says, “You wouldn’t, ‘cause then I’d just collapse on your bed for the rest of the night.”
Will sighs, looks to Dick who’d obviously struggle getting off the couch, and doesn’t doubt that. Says, mildly resigned, “You went out sick, didn’t you?”
Dick narrows his eyes at the ceiling. Says vaguely, “Hmm.”
“Dick?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re such an idiot.”
Dick’s eyes still narrowed at the ceiling, says like, at the moment he doesn’t disagree with that, “Hn, no.”
Will sighs again. Crosses his arms lightly. Pinches the blanket from his grasp, chucking it at his head again.
Leaves Dick in his attempt to get it off, walking to the kitchen. Asks, opening a cupboard to grab a glass, “Watchya got?”
Dick grumbles something inaudible before going quiet and Will looks over with furrowed brows. “Dick?”
There’s a second of lapse, then Dick’s answering, “Just a cold.”
Will hums, eyes still furrowed. Runs the tap, glass filling up, echoing around the quiet room. Asks, already opening the medicine cabinet with an audible thud, “Want something for it?”
Dick’s silence stretches even longer, and Will has the cabinet closed, walking over again by the time he mumbles, “No.” Eyes shifting to Will, seems caught battling between obvious fatigue and stubbornness every three seconds. Which, really, is essentially his whole personality. Says, “I need to go home tomorrow anyway.”
Will hums, presents the water at Dick’s eye level. Says, “Thought so, that’s why I spiked your drink.”
Dick’s eyes slit, glares at the water before turning his glare to Will. Takes it anyway, not drinking yet, and Will asks, “You sure it’s just a cold?”
Dick breathes out his mouth hugely, nose red and aggravated. His eyes are hazy, drawn together in irritation. Hairline covered in sweat. He looks a little pale too, but Will thinks with doubt, that might be because of the darkened room.
He turns his stare back to the glass. Says, “Pretty sure.”
Will grumbles something, eyebrows raised. “And you usually vomit up your guts when you get colds?”
Dick half frowns, half scowls. Offers, not bothering to look his way, “Too many flips?”
“Uh-huh.” Will raises an eyebrow, sits in an armchair, dragging it closer to Dick with a muffled screech. Lays his hand flat against Dick’s forehead, taking his temperate as Dick turns into it with a tired sigh.
Mumbles blurrily, “’S nice. Cold.”
Will hmms, threads his fingers through his hair again. Notes, “Drink your water, Dick.”
“Can’t.” Dick’s eyes are closed, lulls closer to Will. “You spiked it.”
“You’re sick, Rob.”
“I know.” Turns into Will’s hand, glass resting on his hip between loose fingers. Says, “That’s why I’d really like a drink.”
“You have a drink.” Dick doesn’t bother answering and Will notes, “How are you meant to sleep it off if you don’t get a good night sleep?”
Dick growls lightly, eyes pinching together—still tightly closed. Says, “That’s a riddle and I hate you.”
Will snorts, drags his fingers through his hair. Says again, “Drink your water, Dick.”
There’s a heavy moment of silence. Then, “...but you have to wake me tomorrow.”
“Deal.”
“I’m serious. There’s this, thing. It’s a thing, Roy. Important.”
Will lets the name slide. Asks, eyes narrowed, “What type of thing?”
“I dunno. Bat thing.”
“Uh-huh, sure. I’ll wake you for your Bat thing.” Huffs lightly, fingers pausing before starting again when Dick nudges him. Hums, “Now drink your water, Dickie.”
Dick hmms. Slitting his eyes open with a sigh. Eyes the water half a world away before moving from Will’s hand with a regretful whine. He sits up, drinks dutifully, swallowing the water like he’d love to become that cautionary tale Mothers tell their children about drowning in a teaspoon.
He finishes too quickly, and Will takes the glass from him before he loses all coordination and drops it.
Watches Dick lie back again, exhaling unhappily when Will doesn’t immediately start playing with his hair.
Will breathes a laugh, gets up, careful to be quiet. Walking back to the kitchen, running the tap to fill the glass again.
Wanders back, half expecting Dick to be asleep. He’s not. But only in the way that means he’ll remember none of this tomorrow. Will places the glass on the ground with a thud, sitting across from Dick again.
He’d turned fully towards the armchair in the time it took Will to walk back, and when Dick rolls his eyes open, he gets full view of his knee. He throws an arm over them, says like it’s been years instead of minutes, “You left.”
Will folds the arm back, holding his wrist as he soothes, “Yeah, buddy.”
Says with childishness Will kind of wants to wrap up, “Stop. You’re not allowed to.”
Ignores the weight.
Breathes a laugh, says, smoothing his hair back again, “Don’t worry, I won’t.”
Dick sighs, eyebrows furrowing, and Will repeats, “I’m not going to leave. Promise.”
He grumbles a sigh, settling down again. Will threading his fingers through his hair, watches the way his breathing evens and gives it thirty minutes to make sure Dick’s actually asleep before going to bed himself.
Will wakes with a crick in his neck, eyes squinting against the still-open blinds as the sun starts to pour through the windows. Rolls his neck to the side with a groan, eyes opening to his lounge room.
He stares at the wall for a second before senses catch up and he looks down to the couch.
Dick’s asleep, arm curled around the blanket still. Mouth open and drooling against the throw pillows. Will yawns, rubs the sleep out of his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. Head rolling around twice with a wince, before he twists, looking across the room for the clock.
5:56
Will sighs, scrubs his eyes again. Stands up, stretching his arms forward, before swinging them back around. Both shoulders pop and Will settles with the next exhale.
Squints across the room at the clock again before looking to Dick. Will twists his lips, eyes the blinds, humming vaguely in thought.
Rolls his neck once more and it throbs lazily in response.
Turns to the armchair—still positioned next to the couch. Listening as the shower starts down the hall. Will turns, picking it up, places it in its original position with a muffled thump.
Looks back to Dick with a breathy sigh. Half crouching down, half curling over, slips one arm under his knees, the other behind his shoulders. Breathes once, before bracing and lifting him up.
Will pauses for a second, watching to make sure Dick’s stays asleep as he adjusts his weight accordingly.
He does.
And by the time he tosses his head over with a grumble, Will’s already halfway down the hall. Listens to the shower cut off, nudges his bedroom door open before walking in. He places Dick on the bed with minor struggle, flipping half the sheets over.
Dick stirs finally, eyes squinting open and Will soothes, smoothing the blankets down, “Go back to sleep, Dick. It’s just me.”
Dick grumbles, eyes furrowing. Curls back into the pillow and Will leaves the room, shutting the door behind him with a quiet click.
Walks to the living room again, feet sounding against the floor in tranquil steps.
Finds Artemis with her head in the cupboard, hamstrings stretched to her tippy toes as she grabs a mug. She looks over, head leaning back from the door. Greets, eyes surprised to see him before evening back, “Oh, hey. You’re up early.”
“Yea—” Will breaks off to yawn, nodding around it. Sits at the counter with a huff. “Don’t remind me.”
Artemis scoffs through her nose, turns back to the cupboard, grabbing two mugs down. Spins on her feet, walking over to the coffee machine, hair still wet from her shower. Asks needlessly, “Coffee?”
Will nods, manages not to moan. “Please.”
Artemis snorts, eyeing him with amusement from over her shoulder—so maybe he didn’t do so well on the not moaning front.
Will scowls, looks pointedly at the very empty and unmade coffee cups. Artemis follows his gaze, scoffing again but her lips twitch. Says, fiddling with the coffee machine, “Okay, but you have to make breakfast.” Smirks over her shoulder, “Y’know, since you’re up.”
Will huffs, rolling his eyes. Looks around the kitchen before settling down in his seat again. Says, “Five more minutes.” Arms folding in front of him.
Artemis turns, leaning back on the counter as the coffee machine sounds. Crosses her arms loosely, asks with a frown, “So, why are you awake? Lian didn’t get sick, did she?”
Will snorts brashly, deadly amused. Says, smirking, “No, my other child did.”
Artemis’s eyebrow inch up and Will adds under his breath, “Acrobat, blue eyes, might have several death wishes.”
Artemis looks between him and the couch in understanding. Frowning over at it like if she stares hard enough Dick will reappear, “Dick came over? And he’s left already? Jeez, he’s getting really good at dodging me.”
Will hmms noncommittally. Corrects instead, leaning forward on his elbow, “He’s still here. I put him in my room, didn’t want Lian to wake him.”
Artemis’s eyes narrow, turns back to the coffee machine with another frown. Asks, concern seeping through by the second question, “He’s really sick, then? Is he okay?”
Will nods at her back, straightening. Says, “He’s fine, pretty out of it. And actually—” twists, looking across the room. “That reminds me, I need to clean the pot plant. He vomited in it.”
“Oh no,” Artemis grins, covering her mouth to poorly hide her amusement. “He didn’t.”
Will narrows his eyes, says, still slightly annoyed, “He did.” Sighs through his nose, breathes, “Don’t know why he couldn’t’ve spewed on your shoes.”
Artemis huffs, breath spilling into laughter. Turns back to the coffees, swapping one out of the machine for another. It sounds again as she turns around, walking over to slide the mug to Will. He takes it, hands wrapping around with a quiet, “Thanks.”
There’s a second of silence, Will busy letting the warmth seep into his fingers. Then Artemis is asking, “So... what’s the plan exactly? How’d he get here?”
Will frowns, twists the mug between his fingers. “No idea.” Tilts his head, squinting his eyes at Arty. “He hasn’t mentioned anything to you? No missions? Nothing with Bruce?”
Artemis frowns back, eyes furrowed. Spins around, walking over to snatch her coffee before walking back and sitting opposite him. “No,” says, shaking her head. “But that doesn’t mean very much. Seems like the world could be falling down and Dick would forget to mention it.”
“Yeah,” Will sighs, furrows his brows. Muses, “He wanted me to wake him, I don’t think I should.”
Artemis eyes him, looks down at her mug. Twists her fingers against it, nails dragging. Throws back, “He probably has a sleep debt the size of several continents.”
Will hums. “If he’s missing anything that important, someone will call.”
They look up, staring at each other in steeling agreement for several long seconds. Neither of them back out and Will lifts the coffee to sip. Says once he’s done, standing, “What do you want for breakfast? Pancakes? Lian’s been asking for them.”
Artemis hums, twisting around to peer at the cupboards. Says, “The choc chips are on the top shelf, Lian started eating them the other day. So I moved ‘em.”
Will nods absently, opens the pantry to find the choc chips are, indeed, on the top shelf. Grabs them out along with the flour and sugar. Says, making his way to the counter, “You want berry ones as well?”
Artemis hums behind him. Says, “Nah, let’s do bananas. It feels like a banana kinda day.” Will snorts, grabbing a frying pan. Listens attentively to Arty’s silence, and sure enough under the sound of the gas lighting, “You know, he’s going to be mad, right?”
Will hums. Says mildly, “You didn’t know he was here, I’m the one meant to wake him.” He makes the trip to the fridge, and another to the cupboard, Artemis still silent behind.
He pauses halfway between ingredients, looking over, Artemis’s eyes pulled in a glare.
“Right,” she drawls. Looking so unimpressed even Batman would falter. “Because I was definitely thinking of throwing you under the bus.”
Will rolls his eyes, grumbles, turning back to the forming pancake batter, “He’s not a bus, Arty. More like one-eighty soaking wet, too scared to throw a punch ‘cause that’s mean.”
Artemis snorts, choking back a laugh. Will grins over his shoulder, and both of them share a look that states very clearly how much they believe that.
The moment is gone the next second, Artemis looking down with a sigh. She twists around, sitting so she can look at him properly. Both hands wrap around her mug, shoulders curling as she brings it forward to sip.
Will turns back, listening with both ears as he drops some batter into the pan. The edges of the pancake sizzle and Artemis says, “He has been a bit reckless.”
“He’s being an idiot.”
She snorts, toes pushing up against the bottom bar of the stool. Says, “Same thing.”
Will sighs, rolls his head back, peering up at the clock. Turns back to flip the pancake, opening his mouth but Artemis is already standing. Discarding her mug to the bench with a click, says around her yawn, stretching her arms to the roof, “Wake Lian?”
“Yes, please.”
She nods absently, slinking out of the room and Will muffles his own yawn in his hand—watches the pancakes bubble through blurry eyes.
He’s got a growing stack done by the time Lian’s muffled voice rings through the walls. Will peers down the hall, eyes searching for her as he places the pancakes on the table. Walks back in time to flip another, diverting to the fridge for syrup. Snatches up three more plates, not bothering with cutlery.
Lian walks in, eyes lighting up. Says, lieu of a greeting, “Oo, pancakes. Can I have some?”
“Yea, sweetie.” She bounces over to the table and Will calls, “Grab some knives and forks Lian.”
She hurrphs, drags her feet over to the draw. Stands on her tiptoes and Will watches carefully. She looks over, head flipping round. Asks, “Some for Aunty ‘Mis?”
Will smiles, walks over with the rest of the pancakes. Smooths her hair back, agrees, “Some for Aunty ‘Mis.”
Lian hmms, pinches them up, bright blue plastic fork standing out starkly against stainless steel. She looks over again and Will nods, diverting her to the table with a hand on her back. Placing the rest of the pancakes down with a click, sitting opposite her.
She looks up, leaning halfway across the table for the pancakes and Will nudges them over. Watches her pause in the middle of sitting back, peering at Will’s abandoned coffee cup. Hands it to him dutifully when Will reaches for it.
It’s cold, Will swallows it down anyway. Lian screwing her nose up with him, saying with a giggle, “Yuck, Daddy.”
Will grimaces, puts the mug down. Grabs some pancakes of his own, watching Lian struggle with her knife and fork, staring the pancakes down like she’s found her new enemy.
Will huffs his amusement. Asks, “Want some help there?”
“No.” Lian breathes noisily, frowning harder. “I can do it.”
Will hums around his smile, eyes sliding down to his food. Asks, eyes moving to the hallway, “Where’d Arty go?”
Lian shrugs, finger darting out to pick up some pancakes. Shoving it in her mouth lieu of the fork. Will, wisely, pretends to be blind, and she answers, “Dunno. Maybe she’s getting pretty.”
Artemis walks around the corner, fingers twisting her hair up. Says, flopping into the chair, “’Scuse you, I’m always pretty.”
Will snorts, watches her clear off half the pancake stack. Says, “Yeah Lian, how dare you imply Artemis is anything less than perfect.”
Lian looks between them with a giggle. Artemis shaking away her own smile, cuts her food with six sharp movements before scanning around the table.
Says, eyeing Lian’s plate, “You want me to cut your food up, sweetie?”
Lian sighs. Looks down at her plate, sighs again. Says, looking mournful, “Yes please.” Handing the plate over, Artemis taking it easily.
Will watches. Makes an offended noise around his fork. Lian looks over with a snicker, and he says, “I see how it is, my cutting skills aren’t up to par, huh?”
Lian takes her plate back, lips curling up slyly. Says, stabbing some pancake onto her fork, “No...”
Will huffs, looks down at his plate. Watches from the corner of his eye as Lian brings the fork to her mouth, other hand reaching over for more pancake. She mushes it between her fingers before popping it in her mouth as well.
Will looks to Artemis, and they share an amused stare.
Says the next time it happens, “Lian! What did we say about forks?”
Lian pouts, looks down at her plate. Says to the mountain of food she’s yet to consume, “That we need one for each hand?”
Artemis snorts beside him, and Will wheedles, “No. That we need to use them instead of our fingers.”
Lian sighs, stabbing at her pancakes again. Says, pointing the fork at him, “But pancakes, Daddy!”
Will humphs a breath. Says, “Even for pancakes.”
Lian sighs down at them again. Says, “But that’s no fun.”
“Look at it this way,” Will coaxes. “Think of all the fun stuff you could be doing in the time it’ll take to get the syrup cleaned off you.”
Lian sighs. Grumbles to the table, “It takes ages.”
“Exactly. That’s why we need to use our forks.”
Lian sighs again, but thankfully doesn’t try to eat with her fingers. Yet.
Will looks to Artemis, and she raises an eyebrow, look clearing asking if he thinks that route will work. He shrugs, having absolutely no idea and she snickers around her mouthful.
After that breakfast is quiet. Artemis getting up, collecting their plates when they finish. Gestures at the leftover pancakes, asks over her shoulder—walking to the sink. “Gonna save them for Dick?”
Will hums, nodding. Says, “Either that or Lian will eat them later.” Stands, watching the girl in question. Her eyebrows furrow, standing as well. Looks at Artemis with a frown before glancing at Will with a grin.
“Uncle Dick’s here?!” Looks over to the couch like she somehow missed him, before swinging around with something accusing.
Will sighs a smile, explains, “He’s asleep in my room.” Adds quickly, “And we are not going to wake him, because he was sick last night, okay?”
Lian’s eyes slit, stares him down as she considers what he’s trying to sell. Says after seconds of deliberation, “...Okay.” A pause, then she reasons, “But only if he plays dinosaurs again.”
“He’s sick sweetie,” Will says, already planning on sticking Lian on Dick. “He might not want to.”
“Hm.” Lian narrows her eyes. Says, looking doubtful of this, “Okay, but Uncle Dick always plays dinosaurs when I ask.”
And princesses. And dragons. And anything else Lian decides to pull out of the air.
Will makes a noncommittal noise. Says, “Okay, but he reserves the right to say no.”
Lian’s eyes narrow like she would never let that happen, and Artemis snorts from where she’s watching the exchange. Says, now slumped forward on one hand, sitting at the bench again, “Wow, what a pair. Guess I know where Lian gets her manipulating ways.”
Will makes another noncommittal noise. Says, lifting the leftover pancakes up and walking to the fridge, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Artemis snorts again, blatantly not objecting, and Will puts the pancakes in the fridge. Failing to see the problem.