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Sirius didn’t say ‘I love you’ out loud very often. Other people might have had their concerns. They might have felt insecure, knowing they said ‘I love you’ so much more than their boyfriend did. But Remus knew Sirius. Maybe he didn’t say it out loud, but Remus never had a doubt in his mind that he was loved.
Three taps meant ‘I love you’. Remus had noticed it first in the common room the day after he and Sirius had started going out.
Holding hands made studying a little difficult but Remus wouldn’t have traded it for the world. He was studying with Sirius. Well, Remus was studying Sirius was playing with Remus’ hand. Remus had just sighed and begun to read his notes aloud in the hopes that something would stick in his boyfriend’s head. Padfoot had looked up in surprise, something tender showing in his eyes before Remus’s hand was squeezed three times. One, two, three. I love you.
Remus had just squeezed back and continued reading.
Transformations were hard. They always had been, they always would be but Remus wasn’t as nervous about them when he had Sirius. He would find mysterious mugs of hot cocoa by his bed on the nights leading up to a full moon, and the ones that followed. Sirius knew Remus didn’t like to make a fuss about it but even Remus couldn’t deny the little gestures warmed him to his core.
“Hey Pads.” He would call from his bed where he’d be curled up, cocoa in hand.
“Hmm?” He would hear, Sirius tended to get very invested in the muggle motorbike magazines.
“C’mere.”
Sirius would be at his side in an instant, all things mechanical forgotten, wordlessly sliding onto the bed next to Remus who would momentarily set down his mug to take his boyfriend in his arms.
“I love you.” He would breathe into Sirius’ skin, right below his ear making Sirius’ breath hitch. They would sit like that, Sirius between Remus’ legs, his back a warm weight against Remus’ chest, their hands entangled. Remus would wandlessly summon the magazine and sip his deliciously warm drink as Sirius would point out the bike he was going to get someday, when they had finished school, when he no longer lived in the Black family house.
The process of transforming from wolf back into a human was always when Remus would feel the least like himself. He would have to fight for control, for logic, resisting the animalistic urges that haunted him. Sirius never failed to hold him during these times, not once. He’d wrap Remus in a blanket and hold him tight, letting Remus listen to his heartbeat, feel the rhythm of his breath until the young werewolf was returned to him again. Sometimes Sirius would talk directly to him, murmuring calming words in Remus’ ear. Other times he would talk to Peter and James, all of them chatting away allowing Remus to join in at his own pace. Remus could always count on Sirius’ hand rubbing soothing circles on his back as they lay on that rickety bed in the Shrieking Shack, while his other hand rested on Remus’ hip tapping once, twice, three times before pausing and beginning again. I love you.
In class, they wold be working away in silence and Sirius would tap his thigh three times. When Remus would explain something particularly difficult, Remus was used to having his shoulder patted three times. Remus’ favourite was when he would make some snarky or sarcastic comment – for some reason people never seemed to expect that sort of thing from him and Sirius’ eyes would light up, mischievous and gleaming and he would tap his pen three times on the desk before joining the banter himself.
And of course, there were the stolen moments they shared when they would lie in bed, legs tangled and fingers intertwined. In these moments, the threat of the looming war didn’t hang over their heads, Remus wasn’t a person who shed his skin every month and Sirius wasn’t a boy who had to run away from home. They were just them; Sirius and Remus, Padfoot and Moony. Remus could gaze into Sirius’ unflinching grey eyes and when Remus would whisper “I love you.” Sirius would let out a happy sigh and whisper it back, blinking three times even as the words left his lips making Remus smile at his little habit.
There really was no doubt about it, Remus was loved absolutely and unconditionally. Anyone who thought otherwise simply wasn’t paying attention.