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The door slammed shut behind Jack as he barged into the bedroom, ripping off his suit jacket and tie.
“Oh, I’ll just let myself in,” Phryne intoned goodnaturedly as she came in a few seconds behind him.
“I’m sorry, Phryne. I’m so upset about this I wasn’t thinking. Are you alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine. What about you? Do you want to talk about it?” she asked gently as she sat on the bed and took off her shoes. “Take some deep breaths, Jack. We’re here together, that’s all that matters.” She got up from the bed to walk over to where he had sat down, on the stool at her vanity, head in his hands. “Shhh. Let’s get ready for bed.”
They had just come home from the station. Jack and Phryne had been sitting in his office, going over witness statements when they had overheard two new constables talking at the desk in the lobby. The constables clearly didn’t realize that the detectives were within earshot, considering the subject of the salacious and frankly rude conversation.
***
Rumors swirling about them weren’t new - in fact, the gossip had started with the Andrews case, the very first investigation they had worked together. Jack usually ignored it quite easily. He preferred keeping some social distance between himself and the officers he managed, to better maintain his professional authority, and he didn’t begrudge them a little speculation at what he knew was undoubtedly an interesting and provocative partnership between himself and Miss Fisher, professional and otherwise.
But while sometimes the talk was well intentioned and respectful, (hell, some of the time it was downright adoring - Jack was not the only officer to be thoroughly impressed by Miss Fisher, after all), sometimes it...wasn’t.
This time, the officers sounded like they could have been two frivolous socialites at one of Aunt Prudence’s luncheons, talking about “her propriety, or lack thereof” and “his morals and standards”. By the time they got to wondering aloud “with which head the Inspector was thinking” and “whether he had enough blood in him to work both at the same time”, Jack was furious. Phryne waited patiently in his office while Jack read them the riot act and informed them they would both be working nights for the next month for their disrespect.
As the speechless and red-faced constables went back to their paperwork, Phryne tidied up the desk and closed the office door. She took Jack by the inside of his elbow and led him out to the Hispano.
“We weren’t done working,” Jack ground out the words with difficulty.
“Not quite, no. But I’ve had enough for the evening and I think you’re too angry to be very effective at this point. You can go back to work if you want and I’ll see you later at home, or you can come with me now and I can help you relax. And I can be very relaxing, Jack, as you well know,” Phryne sparkled, leaning in to wrap her arms around his waist and tuck her head under his chin. “Whatever you want to do is fine, darling, but I think you’ll do better work in the morning. Come home with me?”
Jack sighed as he returned her hug and got into the car.
***
Now in the bedroom, Phryne listened to Jack’s loud silence as both got ready for bed. They had had a nice dinner earlier at home courtesy of Mr. Butler, then had returned to the station to get a head start on tomorrow’s case. By now it was quite late. Clothes got put in hampers, cufflinks, watches and jewelry removed, nighttime routines completed, and they reconvened next to each other in bed, both sitting propped up on their pillows, leaning against the headboard. Phryne took Jack’s hand with both of hers and traced his beautiful fingers, palms, and wrists, their heat and scents mixing. He watched her and brought his other hand over to hers. “Go ahead, Jack. Say something.” she said quietly, knowing his wheels were turning.
He waited a few beats. “Doesn’t it bother you?” he asked. “Our private life, spoken of like that?”
She looked at him, never stilling her hands in what had progressed to a gentle massage of his hands and forearms, swirling her fingers over his warm skin.
“I’m about to say some things. Alright?” she said abruptly.
“Alright…”Jack responded, slightly lost.
“What I mean is, I do have a lot to say about this and it includes things I haven’t told you before. You might find it upsetting, but it’s relevant and I trust you. Are you ready?”
Jack looked intently at her. He never got over his luck that this amazing woman trusted him, and loved him, and chose him. Of course she had a lot to say about it - she was brilliant, and had such depth, and he suddenly couldn’t wait to hear what she had to share on this subject that he was currently so worked up about. “Yes, I’m ready. Thank you for trusting me with whatever it is you’re about to say.” He smiled gently at her, and she reciprocated, kissing him softly before scooting her body down the sheets so she could lean her head on his chest, cuddling up under his arm.
She gathered her thoughts for a minute, and started with her voice small and quiet. “When I was fifteen, I had taken quite a liking to a neighbor a few houses away. Isaac was one of the best students in class, much smarter than most of us, but so humble. He used to read the school books for fun - imagine that! He was kind, too - once he found a lost wallet with no identification inside, and he looked for days asking questions around town until he found the owner. Anyone who lived in Collingwood would have needed that money, including his family, and there would have been no one to prove it had he kept it, but he didn’t. He was lovely.”
Jack was enjoying the story so far as he listened patiently. “Did he make you all tongue tied like I would have been?” he asked. “I can’t picture you like that, even as a teenager.”
Phryne laughed. “Nope. I flirted mercilessly, even then, and pursued him in earnest for months. Finally he agreed to take me on a date, and we ended up stepping out for almost a year.”
Jack nodded and waited for her to continue.
“We were each other’s first kiss, and first...more advanced activities, although we didn’t sleep together. After our first time being more intimate, he wrote me a rather explicit letter detailing how much he enjoyed it, and how much he enjoyed, well, me. And I loved it. It turned me on of course, but it also made me feel like we had this secret. Nothing illicit, just...private. It was sweet, believe it or not.
“I do believe it. First loves are frequently like that, sweet and innocent,” Jack thought out loud.
“I’m sure out of context it probably seemed rather lurid, but it was full of unspoken vulnerabilities and trusts that only we knew about and would see. Well. I had the letter in my purse one day when I went to visit him, and it must have fallen out. Isaac’s mother was quite a religious woman, and she found it.”
“Oh, Phryne,” Jack worried where the story was headed.
“Oh yes. She was disgusted, just horrified. She came to my house and knocked on the door, inviting my parents and me over for tea. She told my parents that we were being sinful and that the adults had to discuss it. My father was a drunken mess as expected, so he didn’t attend the little parlor meeting, but my mother and I did. Isaac was there, stone faced, along with his father and mother. She proceeded to read the letter,”
Jack gripped Phryne’s arm and pulled away so he could look at her. “She didn’t!”
Phryne nodded, “...out loud to the room, word for word. I wept openly the entire time. Then she looked me in the eye and asked why I was leading her son astray. Earlier in our courtship, she had asked me why I liked him and I had happily told her the truth - because he was kind and well read. She quoted my words back to me as if they had been a lie I had told to seduce him - ‘I thought you told me you liked that he was kind and well read?’ I felt like a liar. It took me a long time after we left their house that night before I could even stop crying long enough to breathe evenly.”
Jack hugged her, kissing the top of her hair and slowly running his hands over her back. As an intensely private person, he felt nauseated at the thought of someone, anyone, being so purposefully violated in that way, let alone the woman he loved. “I’m so sorry, Phryne. That should never have happened. A private talk with her son, or the two of you, or even with your parents, I could see. But to read the letter out loud? That was unnecessarily cruel, and you didn’t deserve it. Do you hear me? You didn’t. How did Isaac react?”
“He was almost as upset as I was, just better at hiding it in front of his parents. He was livid with her, and he apologized to me over and over. We dated for a few more months before he went away to school. We parted on perfectly amicable and friendly terms, and I haven’t thought of him much since, actually. But I have thought of her.
“The boy I went out with after him was also from a very religious family, and I tried very hard to be appropriate. But you know what? I didn’t like him at all. I thought the only important thing was that everyone else approved of my relationship and behavior, and sod if I was happy or not.
“‘Theoretically happy’, I’d call it now. I didn’t like him, and I didn't like being appropriate. It wasn’t me. I tried so hard to shrink myself down, make my square peg self fit in this round hole. But it was safe, no shame attached. We were about to get engaged, for Christ’s sake. Engaged! But we went our separate ways in the war, and he got killed at the front within the first month. I couldn’t believe I almost married a man I didn’t love just because I was so desperate for approval. I didn’t realize it at the time, surely. But after the war I suppose I swung in the opposite direction to try to correct the issue, and ended up with Rene. Plenty of passion for me and no boring old safety in sight,” she joked darkly. She shuddered, and Jack loosened his grip on her, causing Phryne to remember who she was with now.
“And now,” Phryne paused to look up at Jack, his eyes wet with sadness for her journey but also pride at her growth and strength. “Now I have found the love of my life. And I feel passionate and safe at once. And I’m so grateful for that. For you. And if you think I’m going to give a shit what those two snot- faced constables or anyone else thinks of my life and happiness with you, then you are mistaken. This is my life, our life. And people will talk. And you know what? Their words don’t affect us at all. We are here, and we are the only ones privy to the unspoken vulnerabilities here. The way we feel safe telling each other our fears, and regrets, and failures. Janey, Rosie, the War, Rene, all of it. The passion we have for each other, how years into this my heart still beats faster the second I hear your voice, or even just your name mentioned. My love for you is so much bigger than what yarns people who have nothing better to do spin.
“Look, Jack. The commissioner loves you and your work, and your solve rate speaks for itself. That is the only extent to which I care one bit what anyone else says about you or us. It ends there.”
Jack was stunned. He knew everyone had different experiences that shaped who they are now. But he had taken for granted Phryne’s ability to not be bothered by other people’s opinions, thinking it just came naturally to her. He realized now what an error that was. That strength was hard earned. It wasn’t that she wasn’t aware of what they said. She just knew the true cost of letting it in.
And he saw now that instead of being an indication that she didn’t take their relationship seriously, in fact the opposite was true - she took it so seriously that nothing could touch it. He pulled her on top of him, then pulled the blanket over them both to make a safe cocoon just for them, hoping to show physically what he wanted to give her in spirit.
“Thank you for sharing that with me.” he whispered. “I do love you more with every new thing I learn about you, and from you. I’ll do better to remember that the next time I hear the gossip flying.”
“Well, no harm in teaching them a lesson anyway if you do hear it again - night shift for them means less nights for you, and I dare say your nights are otherwise spoken for, Inspector.”
Jack grinned. “Is that so?”
“Indeed. In fact, your night shift starts just about...now,” Phryne purred as she reached out to click off the light.
“Then let’s get to work, Miss Fisher.”