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"It's just," he shrugs, helplessly, spreads his hands in a hapless 'you know?' gesture.
Why.
It's not the first time Sasuke has asked.
Why.
He did it at the valley of the end, soaked in water, the blood of his ancestors clinging to his tiny form, full of desperate need.
He did it in front of that stupid hideout, emotionless and half naked and so stupidly Sasuke, tucked away under all the forced masks, under I'll kill you and it's just a whim and Naruto still just wanted to cry and run over there and hug the everliving shit out of him.
He did it under the bridge, half-broken and sullied with death, just more useless death, however justified it might have been, and he had been full of righteous fury so thick Naruto could have choked on it, had half-wished that the darkness poisoned body as it did mind, so they could finally be free, him and Sasuke.
He did it just now, and the vulnerable expression on his pale, distorted face is killing Naruto, is killing him because it's suddenly hard to breath, hard to see.
'Because you're my friend,' he's said before.
'Because I care about you,' he's said before.
'Because when you hurt, I hurt,' he's said before.
"Because it's you," he says now, steps forward and reaches for Sasuke's wrist, who lets him but not without regarding him warily, like he might bite each of his fingers off, one at a time.
Silly Sasuke, always expecting the worst of people.
(It hurts to think just why that is.)
He laces nifty fingers with his own, pushes their clasped hands under his shirt, doesn't break away from Sasuke's gaze even once.
"You feel this?" he asks, gently pressing their joined hands againts his chest—ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump—and the shiver crawling down his spine has nothing to do with cold fingertips caressing his skin. It's static, he thinks, between the two of us. Always has been.
"It beats, about a hundred times every minute, and it feels like it does that just for you. It's like—" he stumbles here, because, really, how do you even put what he feels for Sasuke into something as mundane as words? "I just, I couldn't let you go. I never could. Not then, not now. I wanted you in my life so badly I–" he breaks off again, swallows, tries to get his voice back in order, to not sound like it's falling apart vowel by vowel.
"When you were away, I used to dream about you, you know. Sometimes my dreams were so real, it was like I could feel your touch, even after I had woken up. Sometimes I actually thought you were sleeping next to me, like we were back on some mission, and I could hear you call me usuratonkachi, could hear you shout at me to wake up." He laughs, self-deprecating. "You'd probably count that as a weakness, wouldn't you? Just how attached I am to you. Just how hard it was, to survive without you. I didn't even know why, back then."
He reaches up with his other hand, cups Sasuke's cheek. Presses his thumb deep into one corner of his mouth. It's warm, it's soft. He smiles.
"And the bad times, we've been–we've been through them all, haven't we? Beat the shit out of each other, tried to kill each other—but then there were also the good times, weren't there? Doing stupid D-ranks, going out for ramen, beating the shit out of each other but with, you know, less killing intent." He chuckles, runs his fingers over Sasuke's cheeks and nose. Feels Sasuke shiver under his gentle ministrations.
When you held me while I cried, I never wanted the tears to stop, just so it would last, just so you wouldn't stop wiping them away with the palms of your hands, he thinks.
Your arms are my castle and your heart is my sky, and I'm just down here desperately trying to reach for it, he thinks
He thinks, but does't say, because that kind of openness might actually tear Sasuke apart, stretched at the seams as he already is.
"You make me rise when I fall," he admits instead. "Make me want to. Because I want you. Because I need you."
He licks his lips, becomes conscious of just how close their faces are. Wonders how it might feel to kiss Sasuke, how it'd make him feel. The same feeling he gets everytime they touch?
Maybe a little like flying.
"Idiot," Sasuke whispers at last, and his voice sounds so broken, so utterly wrecked, Naruto wants to kiss him and swallow his pain, take it as his own so Sasuke never has to bear that kind of burden again.
"It's me. I'm the one who needs you. Wants you.”
And Sasuke's breath is sweet, warm despite the cool air, his hair soft at Naruto's temples when he touches their foreheads together, eyes to eyes (equals, acknowledged at last), and Naruto was right.
It does feel like flying, when they kiss.