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Junhui wakes up with a start, the eerie sound of gasping breaths beside his ear ringing loud in the silence of the room.
His immediate instinct is to roll over and reach towards the spot beside the bed, convinced that either Hansol or Chan has come to find him amidst a middle-of-the-night panic attack. But their usual spot is empty.
It's only at this point that he opens his eyes, body half-draped over the side of the mattress. He blinks, physically shaking his groggy brain wake until he finally works it out. He rolls onto his other side, frowning at the sight of his boyfriend curled up and shivering, tears running across the bridge of his nose and dripping onto his pillow.
Jun reaches for him straight away, one hand landing on the side of his neck, the other combing clumsily through his mussed-up hair. He's thrown off for a moment. Minghao is not a crier. Even when he's really upset by something, he's hardly ever brought to tears. He lets his emotions out in other ways.
It's just so unfamiliar, to see him like this. The vast, vast majority of the time, Minghao is calm and collected and stable. Even when something scary is going on, or one of his bandmates is falling to pieces right in front of him, or they're being surrounded by hoards of screaming fans, he always manages to keep himself together.
Out of all of them, Junhui must be the person who has seen Minghao cry the most, yet it's still been nearly a year since the last time. Jun is taken off guard and is immediately, insanely worried. He must be having a really awful dream if it's put him into this state of distress.
Minghao has never told him about being at all prone to nightmares, though admittedly their relationship hasn't been serious for that long. Unless he just hasn't noticed them, Minghao hasn't had any nightmares since they started routinely sharing a bed at night. Maybe it's just a one-off thing? Maybe they need to talk about this in the morning?
Jun shakes off his unease, instead bringing his attention back to Minghao who is in severe need of it.
"Hao-Hao? You okay?" Jun asks, his voice a half-whisper. He shuffles closer, peering down at Minghao's face as he whimpers and squirms. "Hao-" Minghao cuts him off by suddenly opening his eyes, waking himself up with a broken gasp. His hands lock onto Jun's shoulders as soon as he realises who is in front of him.
"Hey, it's okay. I'm here." Junhui murmurs, wrapping his arms around Minghao's back and drawing him close, sitting up so that he can cradle the younger boy in his lap. Minghao presses his face into the warm dip of Jun's neck, hot tears soaking into his skin. Jun rubs his back and hums against the shell of his ear. Minghao trembles. "It's okay, you're okay."
Seeing Minghao so upset is getting under Jun's skin, making him nervous. Jun suddenly feels infinitely more guilty for all of the times that Minghao has seen him cry if it feels just as bad for him. He tries his best to remain unfazed but seeing someone you love so much be so broken, it's hard not to break down as well.
Junhui takes a deep breath and presses a kiss against the side of Minghao's head, lingering for a moment. He knows how to look after people when they're upset and overwhelmed. He's had plenty of practice. He can make this better.
Just when he thinks that Minghao is beginning to settle, he draws in a stilted breath and leans back, looking up at Jun with the most alarmed expression that Junhui has ever seen on him. He furrows his eyebrows and blinks a couple of times like he's trying to understand what he's feeling and why he's feeling it and how he can sort it out.
Jun gives him a sad smile.
"Hey there." Junhui murmurs, carding a hand through Minghao's tangled fringe, combing the soft strands into some sort of order. "It was just a dream, alright? Whatever it was, you don't have to worry." Minghao doesn't seem to believe him. His scowl only deepens and he squirms to get up. Jun holds him tighter.
"No- no, I-" Junhui is desperate to keep him close, but when Minghao really starts to struggle against him, Jun lets him go. Minghao isn't Chan, they don't have a pre-arranged agreement that Junhui can keep him wrapped up so that he doesn't get hurt, no matter how much Jun wants to roll Minghao up in a blanket and keep him entirely out of harm's way.
"Tell me what happened." Junhui requests, fingers itching to grab at Minghao when he tumbles out of bed, only barely landing upright on his shaky legs.
"Mingyu, he's- he's not- is he okay? Have you seen him, is he okay?" Minghao has this frantic edge to his voice that Jun recognises from his own panic attacks. He's working himself up, growing restless with worry, unsure about what's true and what's really happened. It's strange to see this level of irrationality from the other side.
"Baby, I'm sure that he's fine. It was just a dream, he's fine. He'll be asleep, safe and sound." Minghao shakes his head, sleepy eyes turning to the door as if that will give him any answers. "Why don't we sit back down?"
"No- I can't-" Minghao stutters and coughs. Jun is up in an instant, gentle hands hovering over Minghao's ribcage until he nods, letting Jun know that it's okay to touch him. Junhui spots a movement over Minghao's shoulder, Chan's fluffy head of hair appearing above the blankets, sitting up ready to intervene if needed.
He's prepared to help even though he probably has no idea what's going on. Jun only now realises that they've been speaking in Mandarin, which they've been trying to avoid lately in favour of actually becoming fluent in Korean. It's not important right now, though. Minghao deserves a little home comfort.
"Can you take a deep breath for me?" Minghao follows his instruction on instinct, but he doesn't look any less stressed for it. Junhui's thumbs caress his sides, trying to stick to a slow, calming rhythm.
"I need to go check. I need-" The sound of tears in his voice, the way he stumbles over his words- Junhui's heart clenches. He would do anything to make his Minghao feel better.
"Okay." Junhui wants to stop him, wants to promise him that it wasn't real and get him tucked back up in bed, wants to keep him from waking Mingyu, but he knows that he can't. He knows exactly how he would feel in his situation. These boys, they're so important to him, to all of them. Even just the thought of one of them being hurt- or worse- is sickening, let alone truly believing that it has happened.
No matter how much you are convinced otherwise, you have to check for yourself. Just to make sure.
As soon as Minghao is released from Junhui's grip, he's off. He tears out of their room and down the corridor, shoving the door of the hip hop unit room open so hard it swings and slams into the wall. Junhui is right behind him, wincing at the noise- Hansol and Wonwoo are also wincing, both having immediately woken up.
Mingyu is curled up against Wonwoo's side but Minghao sits down next to him and rolls him over, turning him onto his back so that Minghao can see his face. It's almost inconsiderate, but Junhui knows that it's out of fear. He would never normally dare to wake any of them up; they're all too familiar with sleep-deprivation.
But right now, he's just terrified.
Minghao cradles Mingyu's startled face with one hand, the other pressing over the left side of his chest to check that his heart is still beating away. Mingyu looks scared at first, but he quickly understands what's going on when fresh tears begin dripping onto Minghao's cheeks.
Mingyu melts, pulling the younger boy into his arms, holding him close as he looks to Junhui for an explanation.
Both Hansol and Seungkwan are awake now, sat up in the other bed and watching on in curiosity.
Jun cautiously perches beside Minghao and strokes a hand up and down the length of his spine. Wonwoo laces a hand in Mingyu's hair. Minghao presses his face against Mingyu's and whispers, "I thought you were dead. I thought you were dead." A haunting mantra against his skin.
Mingyu is quick to reassure him otherwise, voice rough from sleep but still soothing at the time- just hearing it settles Minghao down a little. "I'm fine. I'm here, look, I'm alright." Mingyu tucks a hand under Minghao's chin, tries to lift his head so that Minghao will look at him and realise that he's okay. Minghao refuses. If anything, he cuddles closer.
Wonwoo sits up so that Junhui has room to shuffle closer. He gives Jun a wary look as he sits down and returns his hand to the dip of Minghao's shoulder blades. Wonwoo looks just as shaken up as Jun feels on the inside.
It takes a good ten minutes of Mingyu whispering reassurances against Minghao's ear for him to calm down. He draws in a shaky breath and lifts his head, resting his forehead against Mingyu's, eyes boring into his. Tears drip from Minghao's cheeks to Mingyu's. "I love you, Minghao." Mingyu murmurs and Minghao nearly crumbles all over again.
"I love you too. So much. I'm so glad you- that you're not-" He can't even bring himself to say it, just the thought is so horrifying. He presses his lips against the bridge of Mingyu's nose again, a feather-light kiss.
Junhui only speaks up again when Minghao is almost completely settled, his tears running dry, his body almost languid on top of Mingyu's. "Hey. Baby." He calls, combing a through fingers through Minghao's hair, tucking a stray lock behind his ear so that his face can be seen. "You should try and get some more sleep, yeah? We have practice early in the morning."
Minghao doesn't respond in words. He just makes a sad noise in the back of his throat and tightens his grip on Mingyu's jumper. Mingyu notices his reluctance as well. "You can stay here, Hao. Stay with me?" Minghao is halfway through an enthusiastic nod when he rethinks it, pausing and lifting his head, looking back at Jun.
There's a pout on his lips, his cheeks all red and blotchy, his eyes shiny and wet- Junhui loves him so much.
"I don't want you to be alone." His voice is tiny and broken, so unlike him- Minghao is usually so articulate and sure of himself. It's strange to see him looking so helpless.
"Hey, no. I'll be alright. I'll bunk up with Soonie and Channie. Don't worry about me." Minghao reaches a hand out towards his boyfriend; Junhui bends down so that Minghao can hook it around the back of his neck. "Get some sleep, alright? I love you." Minghao returns the sentiment, whispered words against the skin of Junhui's cheek.
Jun helps Minghao get under the covers, tucked in between Mingyu and Wonwoo. Jun can't resist pressing a kiss to the top of his head- he just looks so precious. Minghao like the attention, of course he does, but more often than not he's the one doing the coddling. Seeing him so soft and pliable is unusually but more than appreciated.
On his way out, Junhui pauses to run a hand through Hansol's hair and trace a thumb along Seungkwan's cheekbone. They both look suitably concerned, eyes fixed on their- usually stoic- hyung. Minghao's fine, though. He'll be okay.
If Junhui knows anything about that boy, it's that he will always get back up after he's been knocked down.