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Chan is sat against one of the mirrored walls in their studio watching Soonyoung dance. He has been practising for hours, forcing himself through every piece of their choreography- every song, every transition, every solo. And he hasn't stopped. Chan had turned up at the studio at nine in the morning, only to find Soonyoung already halfway through their concert set from last year.
It's become a bit of an annual tradition- when concert season comes around, Soonyoung reaches a new peak of stress. No one can convince him to stop working or reassure him that he knows all of their songs and he won't mess everything up. They all try to calm him down, but he's stubborn and obsessive and a little destructive when he gets like this.
Chan takes the angle of keeping an eye on him rather than forcing him to stop. When they've tried that before, physically dragging him from the practice room when they were genuinely scared for his well being, it's never ended nicely. Soonyoung gets angry when he feels like he's being cornered, pushing everyone away and locking the door behind them and is generally does more harm than good.
However, if Chan just sticks by his side and reminds Soonyoung that he's always going to be there, he's more malleable to Chan's gentle reminders to drink water and eat and maybe sleep somewhere other than the sofa in Jihoon's studio. It's not ideal, and it's definitely not healthy, but Soonyoung is stubborn and this is the best that he can do.
"Soonie-hyung?" Chan calls when the current song comes to an end, a quick beep signalling that the set has finished. Soonyoung heads towards his phone to switch to the next one, but he does look up at the sound of his name. He's damp with sweat, skin flushed bright red, T-shirt sticking to his skin, and Chan has no idea how he's still going.
The truth is, his body is probably closer to giving up than he's willing to show. Stubborn.
"Come sit with me." Chan pats the spot beside him on the floor, tilting his head and giving Soonyoung the smallest of smiles. He can see the hesitation in Soonyoung's eyes, his fingers itching to grab his phone and switch the music back on and dance away his feelings, but he's never been good at resisting Chan when he's asking for something.
The thing is, Soonyoung knows exactly what he's doing and he knows that it isn't good. He knows that Chan is here because he's worried, that Soonyoung is causing all of them stress, but his own stress and overwhelm just feels more important right now. It's selfish and he knows that he should just give in and be normal for once, but whenever he stops- even just for a moment- his brain is flooded by all of the scenarios where everything goes wrong.
It makes him feel sick.
Soonyoung lands beside Chan with a thump and his head is immediately resting on the younger boy's shoulder. Chan hooks a hand around the back of his neck and pulls him close, rearranging his legs so that Soonyoung can sprawl himself between them. Most of his weight is pressing against Chan's stomach, pinning him to the hardwood floor. It's not the most comfortable cuddle they've ever had, but at least Soonyoung has stopped moving for a moment.
"How are you feeling?" Chan asks, tucking a clump of sweaty hair behind Soonyoung's ear. From here, he can see how Soonyoung's got his face all scrunched up, eyes pressed shut, his mouth turned down at the corners. He looks like he's about to cry.
"Unprepared." Is how he replies. Chan lets out a soft sigh and plants a lingering kiss on the crown of his hyung's head. Soonyoung snuggles closer, hiding his face in the dip of Chan's chest and grasping at the fabric of his jumper.
"You're not." He responds, but he knows that it takes much more to get Soonyoung out of this state, to convince him that he's doing a good job. "You're going to do so well, you always do. You're incredible on stage, no matter how much you prepare. You don't need to do this much."
"But what if I don't. What if I stop working and then get out on stage and screw it all up and then it's my fault that I didn't work hard enough and everyone will see-" Chan cuts off his rambling, nuzzling his nose against Soonyoung's temple and shushing him, dragging a hand up and down the length of his spine. Soonyoung whimpers and Chan's heart shatters.
"Soonie, breathe," Chan whispers against the top of his head. Soonyoung draws in a breath of air but it sounds so shaky and unsteady, like he could break apart at any moment. "That's not going to happen. And even if you do make a mistake, no one's going to blame you or be mad at you. None of us is perfect, and we don't have to be. Doing your best, that's enough."
"Why do you sound like a fucking self-help manual?" Soonyoung prickles. Chan can feel his frown, brow furrowing, and he tries not to be offended. Soonyoung always snaps when he stressed and he rarely ever means it. For some reason he just hates to make it easy for anyone to comfort him.
"Hey, don't be mean. I just care about you." Soonyoung settles down pretty quickly after that, reassuring Chan that he isn't really angry. Chan strokes a few fingers through his hair to let him know that he isn't angry either. "I think we should go home." He's hesitant but he tries not to let it show in his voice. Soonyoung tenses up anyway.
Chan mourns the loss of him when Soonyoung sits up and shuffles away, scowling at him from a few metres away instead. Chan tilts his head to the side. Soonyoung crosses his arms over his chest. "You can go home," Soonyoung tells him, a spiteful edge infecting his voice.
"Hyung, you have been here for far too long. You have been working for far too long. You need a break and some sleep. I know you feel bad and stressed but staying here and working yourself into the ground is not going to help anything. It's never made you feel better before, has it? Please."
Soonyoung screws his face up because he knows that Chan is right.
"I just want to do well." He eventually says, his voice suddenly thick and clogged with unshed tears. Chan reaches out for him again- it's basically instinct by now- and Soonyoung takes his hands, squeezing them tightly.
"You will. You always will. You're incredible, Soonie. Believe me. We all know just how amazing you are, you don't have to put yourself through this in order to prove it." Soonyoung sighs. He doesn't meet Chan's eyes but he does run a finger across the back of his hand, a gentle and silent I love you. "Please come home with me, baby." Chan is basically begging him, but it's fine. He would do anything for this boy.
"Okay." Soonyoung gives in, eventually, sounding so tiny and tired. Chan crawls closer and wraps his arms around Soonyoung's neck, giving him the biggest hug he can manage. Soonyoung rests his head in the dip of Chan's shoulder and relaxes against him, hand petting at his ribs. "Love you, Channie." Chan returns the sentiment, words whispered into his skin.
*
They walk back to the dorms and Chan ferries Soonyoung into the shower right away whilst he gets to making some food. As soon as he is clean and fed, Chan is going to tuck him into bed for at least a full eight hours. The poor boy is so exhausted, even just the walk home made his legs shake.
He'd been clinging onto Chan's hand the whole way, grateful for the privacy born of darkness. Chan could feel how hard he was trembling, his body so tired and overworked, his muscles stretched to their absolute limit. He needs to sleep.
Chan's eyes are only pulled from the ramen he is boiling by a shout in the corridor. Wonwoo sounds startled, yelling Soonyoung's name and racking his knuckles against the bathroom door. Chan's ears prick up and he turns towards the noise.
He's not too concerned, initially- Soonyoung has probably just stolen Wonwoo's towel or something. But then he begins to sound more frazzled. "Soonyoung-ah! Are you okay?"
Seungcheol joins him a moment later. "Soonyoungie, can you hear me?" Hearing their leader's voice so worried propels him into motion. Chan only barely remembers to turn off the stove before he's booking it into the hallway where Wonwoo and Seungcheol are still anxiously calling to Soonyoung through the locked bathroom door.
"What's going on?" Chan asks, slightly breathless. Wonwoo and Seungcheol are relieved to see him. He's always good at dealing with their Soonyoung brand of crises.
"I don't know I just heard a crash and- I think he's fallen." Seeing Wonwoo this flustered is unusual and unsettling, but it's not really that unexpected- he may act cold but Wonwoo does love them to pieces. "The door's locked."
"God, he's so tired." Chan sighs, taking a few deep breaths to keep himself from getting panicky as he steps forward, leaning close to the door. "Soonie? Hyung? Are you alright?" Soonyoung immediately reacts to the sound of his voice, calling his name as one teary, drawn-out syllable.
"Channie~ help-" Soonyoung cuts himself off with a sob. Chan has to resist punching the door in an attempt to get to him.
"Have you fallen over? Can you get to the door?" Chan is trying not to bombard him with questions- he's already overwhelmed, and if he's hit his head he's probably feeling confused. But he just needs to make sure his hyung is okay.
"No, no- I- my ankle, Channie, it hurts so bad-" Chan's chest clenches at the sound of his beloved Soonyoung crying. He tries the door handle in vain but it just won't budge- it's locked from the inside and they lost the key to it years ago. "It's okay, baby, we're here. We'll help you. Just one moment, okay?"
Seungcheol is legitimately gearing up to smash the door in with his shoulder when Hansol comes running out of his room, his phone and a hair grip in his hands. "I've got it, I've got it." He rushes out, kneeling beside the door and pressing play on the video, stretching out the hair clip and feeding it into the keyhole.
"Sollie?" Wonwoo asks, like they're being exposed to a whole new sneaky side to their innocent dongsaeng. Hansol doesn't spare him a glance, too busy wriggling the metal around like he knows what he's looking for. "Why do you know how to do this?"
"I was watching this video just yesterday. Apparently, if you get the clip in the right spot you can just- ah- push up the pins- and-" There's a satisfying clicking noise and, when Chan tries the handle again, the door swings open. He takes a moment to be thoroughly impressed before he remembers that his Soonyoung is hurt and sad and lying in the tub all by himself.
"Soonyoung-ah." He breathes, rushing towards the shower and reaching to caress Soonyoung's face. He's all red and flushed, tears rolling down his cheeks, the shower still pouring water across his shoulders. Chan turns the water off before leaning to press a line of kisses into Soonyoung's damp skin, trying to calm him down. "You're okay, you're okay."
"Channie~" Soonyoung whines again, grappling at Chan's clothing with shaky fingers, his chest stuttering with stilted breaths. Chan shushes him and nuzzles against him. He should really be thinking about getting Soonyoung out of the cold and uncomfortable tub, but he's not doing anything until Soonyoung is feeling more settled.
"Baby, what happened? Did you slip?" Chan asks when Soonyoung's crying tapers out, the boy just breathing softly against the skin of Chan's neck. His fingers are nervously tapping that the younger's shoulders.
Soonyoung shakes his head, mumbling out a response. "No- I- I think-" He takes a deep breath, his body still trembling with shock. Chan kisses his cheek. "I think I blacked out, Channie." His words pitch up at the end and Chan can tell that he's frightened.
He hears someone gasp behind him but honestly, Chan is unsurprised. Given the state that Soonyoung was in, Chan should have expected this. Sure, Soonyoung is an adult and can take care of himself, but Chan is still kicking himself. He should have been more careful, he should have kept Soonyoung in his line of sight. Maybe then he wouldn't have gotten hurt.
"Okay, okay." Chan soothes, lifting a hand to card through Soonyoung's sodden hair. "How are you feeling now?"
"Sore. And my ankle- I think I twisted it- I- what if it's really bad?" Chan can hear Soonyoung getting worked up again, so he peers down at him and gives him a soft smile.
"Don't worry about it, okay? You'll be alright. Let's just get you up, yeah?" Soonyoung nods, though there's a pout fixed on his lips as Chan slides his hands beneath Soonyoung's shoulders and pulls him into a sitting position. He stops for a moment, trying to figure out his next move.
"Do you need a hand, Chan-ah?" Seungcheol asks, stepping closer and laying a hand over the back of Chan's neck. Chan lets himself be calmed by the steady stature of their leader behind him. He always knows what to do.
"Yeah, could- could you grab his legs, make sure his ankle doesn't hit anything?" Seungcheol quickly agrees, grasping Soonyoung from beneath the knees and helping Chan lift him out of the tub. Almost immediately after they get him on the bath mat, Soonyoung is scrambling his way into Chan's arms, draping himself across the younger's chest and holding on tight to his shoulders.
Chan holds him right back, stroking his back and humming against the side of his head. Soonyoung winces when Seungcheol lowers his poor ankle the ground, and Chan only squeezes him tighter.
"Can you give it a little wiggle, Soonyoung-ah?" Seungcheol asks, gentle fingers hovering over his anklebone. Soonyoung groans a little as he rolls it around a few times, hands clenched in Chan's jumper. "Okay, that's good. It's probably just a sprain, alright, nothing to worry about. I'll go grab a wrap for it."
Seungcheol disappears and Wonwoo takes his spot, tucking Soonyoung's towel around his shoulders and rubbing his wet skin down to make him feel a little more comfortable. Soonyoung hides his face again, embarrassed to be in such a sorry state in front of his bandmates, even if they've all seen each other at their worst.
Hansol's here as well, hovering over Wonwoo's shoulder, hair grip still clasped between his fingers. He's just watching, observing, just so that he knows that his hyung is alright and being taken care of.
"Soonyoung." Wonwoo starts with a sigh and Soonyoung groans. He knows where this is going.
"Don't yell at me. I've already had enough of that from Channie." His words are sharp but he's still cuddled against Chan's chest so he doesn't take offence. He just presses a kiss to the top of Soonyoung's head, breathing in the damp but familiar scent of his hair.
"We just-" Another sigh. "You know that we care about you, right? That we only want the best for you?" Chan feels Soonyoung's face morph into a frown and he finally lifts his head, glancing up at Wonwoo with a confused look on his face. Wonwoo reaches to dab at the lingering tears on his cheeks.
"Yeah?" Soonyoung responds, because Wonwoo has yet to continue. Wonwoo smiles.
"Then why do you always get so defensive when we try to help you?" Soonyoung gapes, so Wonwoo keeps talking. "What you're doing to yourself- what you always do to yourself- it's not healthy. We all know it, and you know it. Working yourself to the bone, practising for hours and hours without any breaks, it's dangerous."
Soonyoung lowers his eyes. He wants to argue back but he can tell that Wonwoo is being sincere, and he really doesn't want to disappoint him. He knows that he shouldn't be so stubborn.
There's an unspoken memory filtering through the room from almost a year ago now. Chan had gotten himself in a bad spot, convinced he wasn't doing enough, sneaking out at night to fit more practice in. Soonyoung had been so angry, had been so upset despite how hypocritical he was being. They'd had almost this exact conversation, only Soonyoung was on the other side of it.
"I get that you're stressed out, I get it. But this isn't going to help. You only get more worked up and then you end up hurting yourself, like this." Wonwoo watches him for a moment, runs his thumb along Soonyoung's cheekbone to catch the freshly falling teardrops. "We're here for you, Soonyoung-ah. You don't have to do this on your own."
Soonyoung breaks the silence with a breathless sob, reaching his arms up for Wonwoo, not even noticing when he displaces the towel and exposes his shoulders to the cold air. Wonwoo leans forward to wrap him up in a hug, trying not to jostle him too much. Soonyoung whispers an apology against his throat but Wonwoo dismisses him with a kiss to the cheek, sitting back when Seungcheol returns.
Seungcheol doesn't say anything as he settles back by Soonyoung's leg, but Chan can see the proud smile on his face. He's probably also relieved that he doesn't have to scold Soonyoung, Wonwoo already having said the exact same things he would have. Look at him, raising little mediators.
"Tell me if I'm hurting you, okay?" Seungcheol tells Soonyoung, lifting his ankle carefully and wrapping the bandage tightly around the joint. Soonyoung screws up his face but endures it without complaint. Chan distracts him by nuzzling at his eyebrow and humming gently, soft vibrations against his skin.
"You kids and this bath, huh? I might have to buy one of those non-slip mats for in here." Seungcheol croons, tying up his impromptu first aid with a neat little knot. Soonyoung giggles at him, the sound a little shaky and teary but laughter nonetheless. Seungcheol presses a light kiss to Soonyoung's knee and grins up at him, so relieved to see his adorable smile.