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Yuki comes to pick him up from school.
Inaho wanders over to her at the gate, his eyes wide. Yuki's smiling at him, hair messy, eyes red. He doesn't know why she's here. Last week she told Dad that since she was in second year of middle school, she was too busy to come get him anymore. Inaho waits by the gate, shuffles his feet, watches the grass peek out from the crack in the pavement. Students wander around them, meeting with parents, cheering and talking loudly.
"Hey, Nao! Time to go home!"
A hand is thrust in front of his face. He blinks up at Yuki, her smile wavering like when she's lying about staying up late reading. He looks back down at her hand. His backpack is heavy, and he hands it to her.
"That's not what I wanted!" she says. She shoves the bag up over her shoulder. She offers her hand again. Inaho takes it this time. Yuki squeezes his fingers. He stares up at her.
"Where's Dad?" he asks. Yuki squeezes tighter, until his fingers start to ache. She looks down the street.
They start walking home.
-
Inaho's head lolls to the side, and when it hits the armrest, he snaps back awake. The digital clock reads past midnight, the darkness outside the window punctuated by streetlights. His shaky breaths and the moans of the house fill the air.
In, out. He fiddles with his sleeve. A board creaks and he snaps his head to look at it. In, out. His chest feels tight. Inaho tugs his knees closer to his chest.
The engine of a car makes Inaho uncurl and launch off the couch. He presses his face against the window, seeing his sister climb out of a car. The streetlights shadow her face, and he's far too far to make her out clearly, but that's her wave and her tripping on the first step on the way into the building.
On his next exhale, he smiles. His chest stops hurting. He waits until he hears the faint ding of the elevator door before he rushes to the entrance. Inaho's at the door by the time she unlocks it.
She flicks on the hall light and closes her eyes, sliding down against the door. Her shirt is wrinkled and a small brown stain mars her sleeve. Her breaths are loud and shaking, just like Inaho's had been moments before.
When she opens her eyes, it takes a few blinks for her to register him.
"Nao, it's so late!" she chides. She wipes her eyes as Inaho curls his fingers around the hem of his sweater. "Why are you awake? Uncle said he dropped you off here after the funeral hours ago!"
"You told me to wait up for you," he mumbles. He looks at the floor.
Yuki's fingers curl around his, tugging his hands off his sweater. She pulls him down to the floor in a tight hug. Inaho has to shift his knees around hers to get comfortable. She presses her face into his hair.
"I'm sorry," she murmurs. "I got held up. I didn't mean to make you worry."
He hides his face in her shoulder. She plays with his hair, her fingers stroking and tugging. She hums. His body relaxes.
"It's okay," he says. "I wasn't worried."
"Of course not," Yuki replies. She kisses the top of his head. "Listen, Nao. Make decisions as circumstances dictate. If you've got to, trust your gut. Make the call."
"What?" Inaho asks. He sits up, blinking at her blankly. Trust his gut? Should he eat a snack? Or call her?
"It's what Dad used to say to me," Yuki stares at the wall, playing with a lock of her hair. There are more creases on her shirt and under her eyes. "Guess you're a bit young to understand still, aren't you? It means, don't be afraid to change your plans if something happens. So if I'm running late next time, go to bed and don't stay up worrying. I'll be fine. I'll come home."
She gives him a smile - the first genuine one he's seen in a week. He gives one in return. It's cut short when he yawns, and Yuki laughs as she pulls him close again. Inaho takes another deep breath. In, out. He holds onto her shirt, pressing it between his fingers, and closes his eyes.
-
By the time Yuki enters high school, Inaho is used to living without his parents.
They have enough money to make do, and they have their neighbours for help and their uncle to check in on them. Yuki always insists that they're holding up fine living alone, smiling and waving when their visitors are leaving, and sighing heavily the moment she closes the door.
Yuki is sixteen and moody and loud. She has friends over and chats about boys. She puts Inaho to bed with a smile and a kiss. She gives him bus money and lunch money, leaves early, and comes home exhausted.
There are dark circles under her eyes and lines on her forehead. Inaho isn't sure if he should say something, or if she wants him to. He hovers by her doorway and listens to her gasps and sobs, but cannot raise his hand to knock or his voice to comment.
Instead, he learns to cook.
If he can make her day easier, she should feel better. Logically, the best place to start is where Yuki struggles - the kitchen. The rice cooker is easy to use, and when Yuki comes home to him shoveling rice into bowls, she only shouts at him to be careful, what on Earth are you doing, get off that chair, for five minutes.
After that, she eats twice as much as he does and compliments him over and over. He ducks his head as he eats and curls his toes. He smiles. She does the dishes. As they dry, she pulls her computer out and sits beside him. They spend the next few hours looking at flyers online.
Each day after school, Inaho reads a new recipe and watches a new instructional video. He starts simple, getting the hang of making small boxed lunches for Yuki (and she tells him all her friends think she's hiding a boyfriend who cooks her cute meals). He tries dishes from other countries, traditional dishes, and makes soup stock.
Eggs are his favourite. Each time he goes online, he finds a new way to prepare them, or season them, or a new side dish to go with them. Inaho prints recipes to read on the bus ride, absorbing as much as he can. As he sits, turn after turn, stop after stop, reading on deviled eggs, he realizes he doesn't just like the eggs.
He likes to learn.
He wonders how much is out there for him to read. Besides recipes. His eyes flick down to his backpack and his schoolbooks, and he takes one out, carefully, and cracks open the first page with a new sense of wonder. He starts learning about the water cycle, the tectonic plates, the weather and seasons with new eyes. Inaho misses his stop and is late for school. He asks for an extra credit assignment.
-
"Hey!"
Inaho looks up from his book. One of the girls from class, Inko, is standing in front of him, arms crossed and smiling. Her purple eyes are bright. Inaho blinks at her, his eyes darting back down to the book.
Inko puts a hand on his desk and leans forward. She pushes his book down. "Inaho, right?"
"Yes," Inaho replies.
"What middle school are you going to?"
Inaho looks out the window. His stomach turns in knots. He runs his thumb over the edge of the book, but he doesn't pick it up. Middle school.
"I'm going to the Academy in Shinawara. I know I'm top of the class, but you're a close second! I'd like to get to keep working with you!" She hauls the chair in front of him around, scraping it across the ground. Inaho flicks his eyes back over at her. She pulls out a boxed lunch and starts to eat. "So? What're your plans?"
With a sigh, he leans back in the chair. He keeps running his thumb over the edge of his book. "Have we spoken before?"
Inko rolls her eyes. "No, but that's why I'm talking to you now. You're always sitting back here reading. You don't talk to anyone and you don't even go to cram school. I don't care if you prefer being alone, but you should at least have a conversation with someone before you graduate!"
Instead of replying, Inaho opens his own lunch, and begins to eat. Inko keeps quiet, and as they eat, Inaho finds himself shifting in his seat, getting comfortable. He closes his book and slides it into his desk. Inko tries to stuff all of her rice in her mouth at once. Inaho feels his lips tug into his faint smile. She grins at him, rice speckling around her mouth.
She splits a cookie with him. It's the best thing he's eaten in months.
Once she's done, she scrapes the chair along the floor again, earning glares and vocal complaints from the nearby students. Inko tells them off, grinning, as if she did it on purpose. Inaho reaches inside his desk and pulls out his book.
"I'm going there too," he says. Inko looks over her shoulder, blinks at him, and grins. She shoots him a thumbs-up and goes back to her seat.
After school, they go out for ice cream.
"I'm kind of nervous about military training," Inko says between bites of butterscotch. "Everyone says, it's easy, it's easy! But I'm scared. What if I mess up my firearm handling?"
"They have us practice with rubber rounds before we get live firearms," Inaho replies automatically. His bowl of ice cream sits in front of him. His chest is tight. He eats slowly. "I checked. My sister says they don't hurt too much."
Inko squirms. "Still, it's scary, isn't it? And we're going to do training in those giant robots. I can barely use our dishwasher without mucking up."
He doesn't reply, but he puts his spoon down and closes his eyes. Yuki had assured him, over and over, he would have no problems with it. They'd teach him, and he was so clever and worked so hard lately! He twists his hands together. When he opens his eyes, he sees Inko's doing the same thing.
She looks at him, and his hands, and laughs. "Inaho, you're not a bad guy after all, are you? I'm glad you'll be at my school. I wish I'd talked to you sooner!"
He picks up his spoon. Inko talks about her day, her friends, other schools. She makes it easier to breathe. It's pleasant.
-
Middle school isn't as scary as he and Inko assumed. In fact, Inaho likes it. He dedicates his time to learning firearms, mechanics, CPR, anything and everything he can get his hands on. He sits in the library late into the evening, reading books on tactics and war and the Martian military.
He enjoys learning from the books. They're simple, rational. He can make assumptions and guesses.
Inko and her friends aren't anything like books. They're less rational, more complex. The more time he spends with them, the more he learns. Inko has different faces when she's truly angry and when she's joking around. Nina laces her fingers when she's nervous. Calm is always lying when he says he spent all night studying. Okisuke only cries over bad video game endings.
He can go through all his logical theory steps, but his friends, he notices, aren't predictable, and he can't draw any conclusions. He isn't sure what to do when Inko mourns an imperfect grade after he assumes she'll brush it off. He can't figure out a reply when Calm gets angry over television shows he says he doesn't care about. Inaho shifts on his feet when Nina cries to them, privately, on a walk home, about her parents' death. He offers condolences where he logically should, and doesn't do more than that. No one presses him for more. No one tells him off.
He likes that about them.
So when Calm and Okisuke come to him for study tips, he sits with them for two weeks in the library to keep their grades up because he knows they trust him. When Nina needs a shopping partner, he knows she asks him because he's honest with his opinions. When Inko wants ice cream, he keeps her company, and she sometimes even treats him.
Inaho likes learning about his friends. They help him learn about himself.
-
"Run through it again, Yuki."
Yuki groans, lying her face on the table next to her empty plate. "I've been doing this for an hour, Nao! I don't want to answer any more of your questions."
"You asked me to quiz you for this interview. I thought you were looking forward to working at my school."
She whines again. Her fingers drum against the table. Inaho sits across from her, textbook across his lap, finishing up his breakfast. Yuki swings her slippered foot into his leg, over and over, in time with her taps on the table. Her hair is messy. She hasn't changed out of her pajamas yet.
He stands, shifting the book onto the table, and clearing the table with a practiced motion. Yuki sits up and stretches, sipping her coffee, and wiggling in her chair.
"Do you think I know enough to get the job?" she asks.
Inaho fills the sink with soapy water, and begins scrubbing. He keeps at it for a solid minute before he hears Yuki slide down in her chair.
"Hm," he says.
"Don't tease me!" she groans dramatically. He hears a thunk and glances over his shoulder, a plate still in his hands. Yuki lies stretched dramatically on the floor. "I'll never make it at this rate! And the interview's this afternoon!"
Inaho goes back to scrubbing, reaching for the pans and utensils he used to scramble the eggs. The air is still but for the ticking of the clock and the occasional rush of water as he rinses the dishes off. He leaves a pan to soak in the sink, turns back to the table, and sits down.
He starts reading about the Earth's coastlines again.
"Hey," Yuki says. She sits up on the floor. "Good luck on your test today, Nao. You've been working really hard and I know it'll pay off!"
"You've been working hard too, Yuki," Inaho says. "It's unlike you. It'll probably pay off in your case too."
"Hey! I was trying to be nice!" Yuki says. She gets to her feet and ruffles his hair. Inaho finds himself smiling as she sits down across from him.
"Ask me about military codes again," she demands.
"You just told me you didn't want to answer any more questions," he notes. He turns the page without looking up. He knows she's pouting.
"Well, remember what I always say! Make decisions as circumstances dictate. If you've got to-"
"Trust your gut and make the call," Inaho finishes. "I don't think that applies here, sis."
She kicks a slipper at him. It misses and lands in the sink. Yuki yelps, struggling to her feet, as Inaho watches. She hauls a damp, sorry looking slipper out from the suds, a bit of egg clinging to the side. He snorts.
-
Inaho opens the door to the apartment and a popper goes off in his face.
He stumbles backwards, tripping over the step and almost back to the railing. His heart races in his chest and he hears Yuki start laughing from inside.
"C'mon, don't tell me you were startled by that!"
He doesn't say anything as he walks in, taking off his shoes. He looks around. Balloons are taped to the roof, and streamers litter the hallway. Music plays in the background. Yuki stands beside him, a party hat on her hand and a broken popper in her hands.
"...is it my birthday?" Inaho asks.
"I heard you made it to top of the class!" she says. She reaches into a bag by their feet, pulling out a green party hat. She slips it on his head. "Congrats, Nao! You did it!"
"When did you have time for this?" he asks, but she's walking past him into the kitchen, and he doesn't see many other options than to follow. He ducks under a few streamers. Yuki catches his eye, and glances at the table. She shoves him forward. He looks down.
Sitting with a bow on top of it is a carton of eggs.
"You've done a good job, Nao," she says. She brushes a hand through his bangs. "I know you're hard working and don't like big parties or anything, but I wanted to congratulate you all the same. You're doing a really amazing job. I'm proud of you. Mom and Dad would be too."
She takes his hand in hers and squeezes it until his fingers ache. He turns to face her and squeezes her hand back. He has just the recipe in mind.