Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

'Cause I know that I will love you
And I'm not letting go
If the sky darkens above you
I'll stay by your side in the afterglow

I wasn't lookin' for you
But you found me
Die Alone - FINNEAS

Susie’s heart attack had been sudden, and rather inconvenient. They were in the Catskills so Midge had finally convinced her mother to watch one of her sets without getting blind drunk by promising she would tone it down for the audience. Things were looking up, for once. She was barely two minutes into the routine when Susie collapsed in the wings.

The ambulance arrived fast and Susie was carried away as Midge watched in silence.

Abe and Rose were concerned for Susie, because despite themselves they really had grown to like her, but even more so by the cold reaction their daughter had to the shocking events of the evening. She rang the hospital and stayed on the line until the nurse informed her Susie’s condition was stable - but still unconscious - and then she retired to be without another word spoken.

Silence where Miriam was concerned was never a good sign.

The next morning, when she woke and acted as if nothing was wrong, as if there wasn’t a noticeable absence at the breakfast table, Abe was worried.

So he called for help. Something he never would have considered a few short years ago, but he knew he was not the right person to attend to this particularly delicate situation and he hoped somebody else would be able to fix it.

The person on the other end picked up the phone but there was no response so Abe tried, “Hello?”

“Yes?” he sounded tired.

“Hello, it’s Abe Weissman. Do you remember-”

“Miss December. Midge’s dad.”

“Yes. Yes. I’m sorry to bother you so early, but-”

“Early’s an understatement, it’s 10am,” the man sounded like he was joking, but Abe wasn’t certain.

“Yes I understand you work nights.”

“I didn’t know you had this number.”

“I got it from Miriam’s bag.”

“Okay.” There was a long pause. “Why are you calling me?”

Abe took a breath. “Miriam’s manager had a heart attack.”

“Susie?! Shit,” his voice was loud down the line and Abe had to lean away. “Is she gonna be okay?”

“I don’t know. She’s in the hospital. Miriam is upset, naturally, and I was wondering if you’d be able to give her a call or send her some flowers?” He wasn’t sure it would make a difference, but he felt helpless and he knew his daughter respected the man despite his own reservations. A word from him might right her again. “It cheered her up after the Shy debacle and I believe it might do some good now.”

Lenny made a thoughtful noise. “Yeah… yeah I could do something like that. Thanks for calling.”

“Thank you.” Abe put down the receiver and sighed heavily.

He wasn’t sure what to do with himself once the call was over. Rose walked in, shaking her head - apparently she hadn’t had any luck getting through to Midge either, and Abe really began to be worried. He’d never seen his daughter like this and he wasn’t sure what to do about it.

What he didn’t expect was for the entire day to pass as normal. Midge flitted about, making jokes and participating in conversation as she usually would. She played with her children and chatted to the woman at the activities and scribbled things in her notebook and all the while she didn’t mention Susie once. Not so much as a forlorn pause in her conversation. Even when Joel swung by to pick up the kids and tried to ask her about it, she shrugged him off like it was nothing. It was beginning to get scary how little she was reacting. However, Abe didn’t realise how bad the situation truly was until he poked his head into her room to ask if she was alright only to find Midge pulling dresses from the closet and tossing them over the edge of her bed.

“What are you doing?”

“Picking a dress for my act.”

“Your act?”

“Yes, I’m a comedian, we’ve been over this,” she joked, barely glancing up from her perusal of the closet.

“Surely you’re not going back on again tonight?” Abe frowned. “You haven’t even visited the hospital yet, you shouldn’t have to do another night right after your manager collapsed, in fact I’ll go right down there and-”

“They’re not forcing me, Papa, I’m happy to go. Practically volunteering,” she lifted a dress up against her and looked in the mirror, nodding to herself and adding it to the pile.

“Why?”

“Because it’s my job.”

“But people must be allowed to take time off for family emergencies, even in your business!”

“Look, I’m going on tonight, okay,” Midge said, perhaps a little harsher than she meant to. “It doesn’t matter how I feel if the comedy works, and I know it works; I’ve performed it a hundred times.”

“Miriam-”

“I have to pick out an outfit and my shortlist is eight dresses long and getting longer,” she raised an eyebrow at him expectantly and he lifted his palms in surrender.

When he returned to the lounge, Rose looked to him, but it was his turn to shake his head in defeat. Neither of them had a clue what to do.

And then there was a knock on the door.

Abe shuffled to the door, peering through the peephole before he unlocked it.

“Oh good, I thought I might have the wrong door again, these places all look the same, I don’t know how you cope,” Lenny Bruce said conversationally from where he was standing on the doorstep. Abe blinked at him, shocked. Lenny tilted his head. “You called, I was worried - I understand it’s not polite to show up unannounced but I figured you’d make an exception given the circumstances. Even got myself a room. Not here, of course, I’m not deranged - but in town.”

Abe regained his senses and stepped back from the door, letting him in. “No, of course, you’re very welcome.”

“Who is it?” Rose asked, and narrowed her eyes when the two of them walked in. “Oh.”

“I’m here for Midge,” Lenny explained, placating. “She okay?”

“She’s trying on dresses for her set. Tonight.” Abe collapsed into his chair. “We’ve tried talking to her, Joel’s tried, but she doesn’t want to. She’s been normal. It’s abnormal.”

Lenny winced. “That bad, huh?”

“She hasn’t even been to the hospital,” Rose said. “I dropped in earlier with flowers, but Miriam hasn’t so much as expressed an interest.”

He pointed towards the hallway. “In here?”

“Good luck to you.”

And our paper houses reach the stars
'Til we break and scatter worlds apart
Yeah, I paid the price and own the scars
Why did we climb and fall so far?
Paper Houses -Niall Horan

Midge stood in front of the mirror, flattening out the creases in her skirt with her fingers, admiring the material. She was focussed, unwavering. A tiny flicker of something - a nurses voice over the phone - drifted into her mind and she turned from the mirror in an attempt to shake it off.

Only to come face to face with the last person she expected to see.

“Lenny?”

“Hey Upper West Side,” he smiled at her, a familiar edge of sadness to it. He looked a little disheveled but that was normal where he was concerned. What wasn’t normal was the fact that he was standing in her room in the Catskills. He flicked a hand at her dress, “What are you doing?”

“What am I doing, what are you doing?! Why are you here, what’s-”

“I’m here to stand outside your playdate.” Lenny said meaningfully.

She made a face. “I’m serious.”

“So am I. I heard about Susie,” he admitted.

“Oh.” Midge swallowed, trying to push the thought aside. “Wait- did my parents call you?!”

He tugged on his lapel, adopting the confidence he usually wore on stage. “Your father might have given me a ring. We’re to be married in the summer, I think he’ll make a fine husband-”

“Lenny.”

“He asked me to send you flowers, cheer you up. I figured it would be faster to drop in myself.”

“Why, were you in town?”

“Almost,” he waved a hand. “Not important. Now, what are you doing?”

“Getting ready for my show tonight,” Midge said, folding her arms over her chest self-consciously.

His eyes took her in carefully. “Why?”

“Because it’s my job.”

“That’s not why.”

“Because I want to.”

“Midge.”

And something about the way he said her name, the way he was looking at her, the way his head tilted like he knew exactly what she was thinking, just cracked her in half. She felt the events of the last twenty-four hours rising up to take her over and she tried in vain to quash them.

“I can’t do it, okay,” she shook her head at him, taking a step back. “I can’t talk about it, because if I talk about it then it’s real and if I do anything different then it’s real and I need it to not be real. I need everything to be normal and I need for Susie to be okay.”

“Doing a show tonight will not erase Susie’s heart attack, I promise you,” he said quietly. “And if you do it and she dies, what happens? If you don’t visit her in hospital and she doesn’t wake up, what is that going to do to you?”

“That’s not fair.”

“No, what you’re doing now isn’t fair. I understand, I do, but I also know that if you do this, you’re gonna regret it.”

“I have gotten on stage for all the lowest moments of my life. It’s why I have a career. Why can’t I do it now?”

“You know why,” he took a step forward, palms down towards the floor like he was approaching a nervous animal. He pressed his lips together sympathetically. “She’s going to be fine, Midge.”

Midge squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head again, more vehemently. “What if she isn’t? What if she dies? Susie’s younger than my parents, she’s not that much older than you! If something can happen to her like this then…”

“Then it can happen to anyone,” he finished for her.

“My parents, my kids, Joel, even-” she opened her eyes to find he was a lot closer than she was expecting, “-you. I can’t think about that, Lenny, you can’t let me think about that.”

“I’m sorry,” he lifted a hand to her cheek. “I can’t turn your brain off for you. I wish I could, I wish I could turn off my own, but we can’t. We have to feel things, even when they’re bad. Especially then.”

“I can’t,” she whispered, tears spilling over her lashes. “I can’t, Lenny, I can’t, I-”

The lump in her throat cut her off and she tipped forward, pressing her forehead into his shoulder and cried in earnest. She gasped for air, every breath filled with grief, and his other arm came up around her, rocking her slightly. She sobbed into his coat, releasing everything she’d been feeling for hours, unable to stop. He didn’t seem to care that her tears were soaking through to his skin; he just held her close, fingers stroking her hair. Her fingers scrunched against his lapels, gripping tight like she was afraid he would disappear.

“Yes you can,” he promised.

“I don’t want to,” she begged, utterly heartbroken.

He huffed discontentedly, her emotions clearly affecting him, and dropped a kiss against her temple like it was normal, like it was something they always did.

“C’mon, let’s go see Susie, okay?” Lenny suggested against her ear. “She’s your best friend, and she needs you right now, whether she’s awake to know it or not.”

“Okay.”

He nodded, attempting to extricate himself from her grip. “I’ll go cancel your gig and I’ll meet you-”

“No!” She said urgently. “Don’t leave.”

“Hey, if I cancel for you you’ll still get paid,” he joked, trying to convince her, but she just scrabbled at his shoulders until her arms were around his neck, keeping him there. At this point, he was the only thing keeping her on her feet. He gave in, nosing against her temple. “Okay. Alright. We’ll get someone else to do it; I’m staying right here because you have the strength of a pro wrestler and I didn’t stretch before I decided to hug you.”

Midge wanted to laugh, but he’d unlocked the door between her and the feelings she was trying to avoid, so all she could do was keep crying and hope he knew that she found him funny. She was pretty sure that wasn’t in question, but you never knew.

“Come on, we’ve gotta convince your parents to drive you because I don’t have a car remember?” he said, a teasing lilt to his voice.

“I can’t,” she tried to catch her breath. “I can’t move, I don’t know what to do. It’s like I’m stuck to the floor.”

He hummed thoughtfully. “In that case, there’s only one thing we can do.”

Before she could ask what that thing was, he answered her question by bending down and scooping an arm under her knees, lifting her up. She squeaked and reflexively squeezed her arms tighter around his shoulders in surprise. He seemed unbothered, simply readjusting so that he was carrying her more comfortably.

“Is she alright?” Her father’s voice drifted in from the doorway. She wondered how long he’d been standing there.

“She’s fine, she’s just tired,” Lenny said, walking towards him. “We’re gonna visit Susie, do you mind?”

“I’ll bring the car around,” Abe’s voice faded away and Midge pressed her nose more intently against Lenny’s shoulder, trying to calm herself down. She was a mess. Lenny seemed to realise she was attempting to get ahold of herself and started talking.

“You know, in my dreams about carrying you in your bedroom, there’s usually a different context,” he joked.

“Usually?”

“What can I say, I have a depressing imagination,” he shrugged, and she felt his smile against her head as he tried to catch her eye. “Why else would I be so funny?”

He had a point.

Her father must have reappeared, because Lenny started walking again, kicking the door closed behind him and earning a slight scolding from Rose as she followed them outside.

“I am not agile enough to carry you into this car,” Lenny said matter-of-factly. “You okay to stand?”

She nodded, lifting her head. Her parents were already in the front seat and the back door was open. Lenny lowered her to the floor and her knees buckled. He caught her around the waist, holding her up, and she couldn’t look away from him, gaze trapped in his as she got her bearings back.

He lifted a hand to brush tears from her face. “I’m gonna get a reputation for making women cry you know. What’ll I do then?”

“How is that any different to now?” Midge joked reflexively.

Lenny smiled, somewhat relieved, and his thumb stroked her cheek. “There she is.”

“Midge?” A familiar voice cut through their concentration.

Her head whipped around, looking for the source. Standing on the grass was one of the last people she wanted to see - Benjamin. At least he didn’t look like he was going to yell at her this time. In fact, he looked more than a little concerned.

“Oh look, the doctor’s back, I thought you got rid of him?” Lenny deadpanned.

“She did,” Ben said, but he didn’t sound as bothered by the fact as he used to.

She ducked her head, wrapping her fingers around Lenny’s on her cheek, needing someone’s hand to hold onto. “Benjamin. How are you?”

“I’m fine-” he frowned, “but you’re clearly not; are you okay?”

“No, I’m fine, I just…” she felt tears rising again and cursed under her breath. “Goddammit why can’t I stop-”

“Because you shouldn’t,” Lenny interrupted her self-deprecating anger with a cool demeanour, squeezing her hand in his. “Cry as much as you want. You’re allowed.”

“I shouldn’t be.”

“Fuck that,” he shook his head. “If you don’t cry, I will, and only my mother has ever seen me do that, so I don’t intend to do it in front of your parents. Especially not over Susie - she’d never let me live it down.”

Benjamin was still hovering, eyes darting between the two of them like he was missing the joke. “Is something wrong?”

“Susie had a heart attack,” Midge explained, trying to come to terms with the fact herself.

“Oh my god,” he looked genuinely distressed for her. “What happened?”

“She collapsed during my set last night, she’s in hospital. As far as I know she hasn’t woken up yet, but I… we’re going to visit her now.”

He checked his watch. “Uh, look, it’s past visiting hours now, it’s evening.”

“We’ll sneak in,” Lenny suggested.

Benjamin tapped the face of it, thinking the issue over before he said, “I’ll do you one better; I can call ahead for you, let them know you have special permission to visit outside of the usual hours.”

Midge’s eyebrows drew together. “You’d do that?”

“It’s Susie. I know we’re not exactly friends, but I know how important she is to you.”

The weight of the statement hit her and the strength left Midge’s legs as yet another sob escaped her chest. She didn’t want to be standing in front of her ex-fiance having a breakdown. All she wanted to do was collapse to the floor and stay there, and if it weren’t for Lenny’s arm so firmly planted around her waist, she might well have done just that. As it was, he let her dig her nails into his hand where it had been hovering between them without so much as a wince. He tried to catch her eye again. “Hey. She’s going to be okay.”

“Absolutely,” Benjamin chimed in. “It’s a great hospital, they’re the very best.”

Midge nodded helplessly.

“Come on,” Lenny said encouragingly, gesturing to the open car door. She took a step towards it and he let his arm slip from her side. She didn’t let him take the other one back, however, gripping it as she climbed into the backseat. He took the time to shake Benjamin’s hand in thanks before he followed, and she let go of him long enough to curl into his side, dragging his arm around her and resting her head in the crook of his neck like she belonged there. He chuckled quietly, “If I’d have known this was all it took to get some action from you, I’d have killed Susie years ago.”

In the front seat, Rose gasped, offended, which only made Lenny smile.

“You’re not funny,” Midge sniffled into his already damp shoulder, despite the amusement pulling at her chest. He knew her too well.

“Of course I am, I’m famous,” his smile widened cheekily. “Everyone knows that fame means talent, therefore I am hilarious.”

“Flawless logic.”

“That’s what I’m told,” he shrugged, jostling her.

“You’re an uncomfortable pillow,” she complained.

“Not always, not after s-”

“We are in a car with my parents,” she reminded him.

“Joke withheld,” he promised. “But I need you to know that it was going to be very funny, one might even say hilarious, and that I’m very famous and important.”

“I already knew that.”

“Well in that case did you know I’m also quite wealthy? And did I mention famous?”

“Are you trying to convince my parents to marry me off to you? Because if so, talk more about the money and less about the fame,” Midge said, humour creeping back into the edges of her tone.

“Duly noted,” Lenny said, fingers trailing absentmindedly from her shoulder to her elbow and back, over and over. It was soothing, or maybe that was just his presence, and Midge felt her boiling emotions slowly lowering to a simmer. They were still there, just not threatening to overcome her with every passing second, and she took a deep, shuddering breath in.

“She’s going to be okay,” she whispered to herself.

You stop the feeling of giving up
Oh I know we don't have much
Still this hell feels better with you
Better With You - Michl

They arrived at the hospital in silence. Abe pulled into the carpark to find a space and decided he had made the right call when he chose to ring the comedian. After one offensive joke - and another that Miriam managed to cut off - the car journey passed in relative ease. Abe couldn’t help glancing in the mirror at them occasionally; something about the way the comic looked at his daughter both set his heart at ease and his teeth on edge. It was… affectionate.

He never expected the man to show up, let alone stick around for the tears, yet here he was. The only person who’d managed to get through to Miriam, and the person she was currently clinging to like a lifeline. It unnerved Abe, but he didn’t have time to think about it.

He filed the thought away for later and led them into the hospital. Lenny and Midge followed behind, slower but keeping up, and she seemed to be steadier on her feet than before. Abe paused at a junction in the halls and Rose pointed him towards the right corridor. They shuffled through, trying not to be too disruptive, until a nurse crossed their path.

“Excuse me, visiting hours are over.”

“We’re here to see Susie Myerson, Doctor Ettenberg called ahead for us,” Lenny said, friendly, charming. It was impressive, really, the way the nurse completely changed demeanour upon seeing the famous face.

“Lenny Bruce! Well of course, I’ll go check for you,” she gushed, jogging to the desk to look for their names. It didn’t take long. “You’re right, he did. If you’ll just follow me?”

As they walked, Abe thought about the scene he’d witnessed in Midge’s bedroom earlier. They hadn’t been trying to eavesdrop, but when he and Rose approached the half-open door to check on them, they hadn’t wanted to interrupt. And because they were uneasy at the situation, they hadn’t left either. They’d watched as Miriam pretended she was fine, the way she had all day, and then Lenny said her name and she broke. Just like that. Like that was all it took. She’d poured her feelings out to him and he talked her around and held her when she cried and convinced her to go to the hospital. He’d even noticed that Abe and Rose were standing there and hadn’t said a word about it, just kept his eyes on Miriam, on keeping her upright.

He also seemed to know Benjamin, which was interesting. Abe wondered when they would have met, and why Lenny said, “I thought you got rid of him,” like he was joking but also like he wasn’t, like it meant something. Even now, he hadn’t let go of Miriam, hand resting on the small of her back, guiding her through the hospital. Abe glanced at his wife to see if she’d noticed, only to find her already looking at the two of them far too obviously. Luckily, neither of them seemed to notice the staring.

“Here you are,” the nurse said, breaking him from his thoughts. She opened the door and stepped away offering a polite, “Just let me know if you need anything,” before she left.

Rose walked right in to check on the flowers she’d left earlier and Abe made to follow, but he noticed Midge trying to move backwards, stopped only by Lenny’s palm against her spine.

“C’mon Upper West Side, I thought you weren’t scared of anything,” he goaded her.

“I’m not scared,” she snapped back, panic turning to irritation - one of her old defence mechanisms. “I just… don’t wanna go in there.”

“What do you think you’re gonna find, the Lindbergh baby? They caught that guy, executed him too; he’s unlikely to strike again just to disturb you.”

Midge shot him an unimpressed look. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Trying to cheer me up.”

“Who’s trying to cheer you up? I’m just testing some new material on an audience who can’t leave,” he joked, nudging her closer to the door. “I’ve got some stuff on the Titanic I’ve been waiting to try. A few Hindenburg gags up my sleeve.”

“In that case I wouldn’t store your lighter there,” she remarked as he finally managed to get them all into the small room where Susie lay, unconscious, hooked up to monitors.

Abe marvelled at how easily Lenny had managed to distract Midge, and not only that but to bring her into the conversation, get her cracking jokes - it was sweet, really. The way his attention remained on her, expression light until the second she couldn’t see it to hide the concern beneath. He wondered how well they truly knew each other. He remembered Midge telling him Lenny wasn’t her boyfriend, but they were clearly a lot closer than she’d ever let on.

Don't know what else I can say
Guess I felt entitled thinking
My street would always be the same
I know it's been a while
But what's with all these apartments now?
Half the houses here have been torn down
Look what time did to this place

I get homesick in my hometown
'Cause everything looks different now
And it all changed, I don't know why
Then again, so did I, did I, did I
Homesick - Will Jay

Midge edged closer to the edge of the bed, sitting down on the uncomfortable wooden chair beside it. Rose took the matching stool on the other side, fussing over the flowers, and Abe hovered near the foot of the bed. It was sweet that they were all there, that Susie had become as much a part of their family as anyone. It was sweet that her father had thought to call Lenny. It was so sweet Susie would have choked on it. Midge couldn’t help but smile at the thought, reaching to hold Susie’s hand while she frowned at the IV. She didn’t enjoy hospitals at the best of times but this was especially hard to deal with. Susie looked so still, so empty of personality, and she didn’t know what to do with that.

Lenny moved to her side, propping himself up with a shoulder against the wall. “I’ve never seen her so relaxed; this might be good for her.”

Midge let out a watery laugh. “Shut up.”

“Seriously, remember when I bailed you out? She was so flustered to see me she forgot who she was,” Lenny grinned at the memory. “Which is ridiculous, no-one should ever be flustered to see me, I’m the least swoon-worthy guest on the famous list.”

“Stop selling yourself short, Susie doesn’t get flustered for just anyone. Did I ever tell you what she said when I sat down?” Midge looked to him and he lifted a shoulder, noncommittal. “She told me the best comic in the business was behind me. Imagine my surprise when it was only the drunk who got thrown in the joint with me.”

“Ha,” Lenny said sarcastically, smirking at her. “That’s good, you should go into comedy.”

The light faded from Midge’s expression as she turned back to Susie. “She was the first person who told me that, you know. That I should be a comic. The first person who believed in me. Without her, I wouldn’t have gone down to The Gaslight the second time, I wouldn’t have been tossed in jail again, you wouldn’t have had to bail me out, we wouldn’t have become friends. I wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t even remember my name by now. She did all of this.”

“Give yourself some credit, Mrs Maisel, you’re pretty funny... for an uptown broad,” Lenny prodded her calf with the toe of his shoe to emphasise the joke, attempting to bring her smile back.

“What if this is my fault?” Midge said quietly.

“Why, you been poisoning her or something?”

“I’m serious,” Midge snapped. “Her life became so much more stressful after she met me; trying to get my career off the ground and touring and failing and trying again - without me she might not be lying here. What if I did this to her?”

He regarded her for a moment, hand over his mouth. She glared up at him, waiting for him to deliver some platitude, but as per usual, Lenny Bruce refused to do what she expected. He shrugged. “So what if you did?”

“What?”

“So what.” Lenny repeated. “You think, if given the choice, Susie would want to go back to her old life of running The Gaslight and spending her time alone if it meant living another forty years? No, of course not! Because of you, she gets to die fulfilled.”

“That’s not funny.”

“It’s not meant to be,” he said meaningfully, hand back over his face as he tilted his head in that meek way he did when she looked at him for too long. “This isn’t your fault, Midge. And thinking it is won’t change the result, it’ll just change how bad you feel in the meantime.”

She exhaled, frustrated that his advice actually made sense. “You’re being too nice to me.”

“I’m always nice to you.”

“I know,” she murmured, and time slowed down, seconds passing between them like treacle, like it was waiting for one of them to look away. His remark had come out kinder than he meant it, and hers had come out like a question, and the answer sat somewhere between them, just out of reach. She knew that if she just squinted a little she’d be able to see it, but she let it hang there, unmoved. She’d always known it was there, but after that night in Florida, it felt like he was holding it out to her, waiting for her to see it. But she knew that the second she did, it would change things between them, and all she wanted right now was for everything to stay exactly the same. Lenny’s fingers were tapping the air at his side, the only sign of the restless energy he kept constantly coiled inside him and Midge wanted to reach out and hold them. Instead she sat, locked in his gaze, refusing to break it, and he was looking at her the way he had before they danced.

Rose broke the silence for them, bringing them back to Earth by asking a pointed question. “You bailed Miriam out of jail?”

Lenny turned his head to look at Rose, doing that thing he did where he made sure you knew how intently he was listening. “I did. After she bailed me out. Reciprocity, you know.”

“I threw in cab fare,” Midge said petulantly.

“And I performed at The Gaslight for you,” he countered, that smile returning to his cheeks again. “And showed you a very good time in Florida, what with the television and the dancing.”

“But is that the same thing as cold hard cash?”

“It was twenty bucks.”

“Plus the extra.”

“I paid for your drinks on your date with Benjamin.”

“And that relationship fell apart, so I’m choosing to blame you,” she retorted, grinning widely at him.

“Don’t you two ever stop?” a voice said, cracked and hoarse. Every head in the room swivelled to the bed, where Susie’s eyes were cracked, looking back at them all. “I mean, seriously, you’re cracking jokes by my deathbed. I’d be offended if it weren’t so goddamn funny.”

“Oh my god, Susie, are you okay?” Midge said in a rush, half-standing.

Susie moved slightly, a possible attempt at a shrug.

Midge looked her over, almost frantic, like she was worried Susie was a piece of paper near an open flame, but her manager looked calmer than she’d ever seen her. She pointed at the chair Midge had leapt from, an instruction, and she sat back down, still eyeing the woman.

“I’m fine,” Susie said firmly. “The doctor came by earlier to tell me I’m stuck here for another day or two, but after that I’ll be fine.”

Susie.”

“Don’t start-”

“Susie.” Midge said sternly, folding her arms. Susie rolled her eyes and pushed herself into a sitting position, readying herself for what was about to be a miserable conversation for both of them.

I don't wanna think about a life without you
I don't wanna go to war, but I'm about to
Shelter - FINNEAS

The two women were staring each other down, in a different way to the way Lenny and Midge did, and Abe watched them, waiting for one to speak. Before they could, Lenny cleared his throat loudly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Well, I’m going to see if the cafeteria in this place has any coffee. I know from experience they don’t have scotch, so,” he pushed off from the wall and headed towards the door.

“I’ll come with you,” Rose said, getting to her feet.

Abe looked between them, bemused, “It’s past visiting hours, the cafeteria will be closed.”

Lenny squinted at him.

“For heaven’s sake, Abe, he’s trying to give Miriam and Susie some privacy!” Rose said loudly, making the two women turn their heads. “He was trying to be subtle.”

“A word not often associated with me, but you can’t fault me for trying,” he waved a hand at Midge and Susie, “You want anything?”

Midge shook her head but Susie raised a finger, “Do they serve weed here?”

Lenny snorted an, “I’ll see what I can do,” and left the room, Rose and Abe in tow. He followed the signs through the corridors, stooping slightly as he walked, like he was worried he’d be recognised. A reasonable fear nowadays - even Moishe knew who he was - and Abe wondered why someone who’d built a career on captivating entire rooms would be wary of his own fame. He found the correct door and held it open for them, politely avoiding their gazes.

The room was eerily empty, but there were still lights on, and the coffee pot in the corner seemed to have dark liquid in it. Abe wouldn’t have taken the risk if you paid him, but Lenny ambled right over and poured himself a cup.

Rose tapped her foot impatiently as she surveyed the room. “I’m going to look for someone to provide actual food.”

She strode through the cafeteria, disappearing out a side door like she knew where she was going, like she owned the place and Abe couldn’t help but love her for it. Lenny slumped into a chair, putting down the mug of coffee - if that was indeed what it was - and pulling out a pack of cigarettes. Abe took the opportunity to sit down across from him, appraising him thoughtfully. 

“Why were you eavesdropping, by the way?” Lenny asked, taking a hearty sip. “I assume you realised pretty quick that I wasn’t taking advantage, so why did you stick around?”

Abe thought about it. “I wanted to know how you did it.”

“How I did what?” 

“Got her to talk to you.”

Lenny tapped a cigarette out of the box and stuck one between his teeth while he rummaged around in his pockets. “I listened.”

“That’ll do it, I suppose,” Abe said half-heartedly, but he wasn’t quite convinced. There was something more to it all, something in the way they looked at each other - like there was an invisible line between them that they both kept toeing. 

Lenny found his lighter with a quiet sound of triumph, pulling it from his jacket pocket. Despite the smirk on his face, he looked somehow more tired in the flickering light of the flame against the cigarette than he had the entire time Abe had known of him. Even that night they were thrown into cells together, when the man had barely moved from his supine position on the bench, he hadn’t looked so weary. He noticed Abe was staring at him and raised an eyebrow, “Yes?”

“You’re in love with my daughter,” Abe said. It wasn’t a question.

Lenny flicked the lighter shut and shrugged. “She’s my friend.”

“You’re in love with my daughter,” he repeated.

“I’m not trying to marry her, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Lenny took a drag, arms coming around himself like he was exposed and always, always trying to make a joke out of something.

“You’re in love with my daughter,” Abe said again.

“She’s way out of my league, I mean frighteningly so, both in social status and as a comedian-”

“You’re in love with my-”

“Yes.”  Lenny sighed, tapping the cigarette ash to the floor. “I’m in love with Midge. You can stop reminding me any time you like. But you don’t have to worry about me, I’m not going to propose and she’s not going to say yes. I’m going to keep stewing in it until I die like a good Jew, and she’s never going to know the extent of it; at least, not if I can help it.”

“Why not?”

He looked at Abe incredulously. “Why not?! Because she’s Midge Maisel for god’s sake. I’d have to have balls the size of Texas to tell her how I feel. And I don’t. They’re Virginia-esque at best. Besides, I know where I stand. I’m the controversial comedian who gets arrested eight times a minute with a drug problem and alimony payments. She deserves a hell of a lot better than me and you can bet your ass I’m not going to stand in her way.”

Abe regarded him carefully, fascinated by the man. Midge was right, he really had been ignorant in not knowing about him, but now that he did he somehow felt even more like he was out of the loop. He could see something behind the comic’s eyes, behind the half-smirk that near-constantly adorned his face; he had a feeling Lenny Bruce was too smart for his own good. Too smart to live happily for any stretch of time. He thought what a tragedy that was.

“She loves you too, you know,” he said, throwing Lenny a bone.

Lenny laughed, but there was no humour in it.

“She does. She cares about you - she was the reason I went to your show. I was ranting about the establishment and she told me I was ignorant for not knowing who you were, that you were brave for what you were doing. Really put me in my place, although I’d never tell her that.”

“Sounds familiar,” he acknowledged, hand sliding over his mouth. He did that a lot.

“She cares about your opinion.”

“And I care about hers.”

“So why not give it a try?”

Lenny tapped the cigarette again, staring at him. “What are you… Mr Weissman, I’m not sure I understand. I’m not from around here.”

“I know that.”

“Yet you’re trying to set me up with your daughter? Who is from around here and belongs with doctors like Benjamin or-”

“Or idiots like Joel?” Abe shook his head. “If I’ve learned one thing from Midge’s first marriage it’s that you can try and do everything the right way, the done way, and it can still go wrong. He left her for his secretary.”

“I know,” something flashed across Lenny’s face, a blend of amusement and irritation. “It was one of the best comedy bits I’d ever seen - My husband’s girlfriend attacked me at work yesterday - I mean really, it was a work of art.”

Abe scowled. “She what?”

“You didn’t know?” he asked, surprised. “Figures. I don’t think Midge likes telling anyone about the bad things unless she can make them funny, so she just works it all into her act. I didn’t know her husband had left her until a few days after we met. We were hanging out at a jazz club and at the end of the evening she brought it up, like it was nothing, like she was commenting on the weather. Have you seen any clouds tonight Lenny, it feels like it might rain, did I mention my husband left - that sort of thing. I was married at the time too, badly too, so I thought maybe it was a similar situation. Until that set. She was radiant up there, I mean… just spectacular.”

“Yeah,” he thought about the way Midge held herself now, the confidence she had, how proud he was of her despite his misgivings. “She is that.”

Lenny nodded along, smoking, and Abe watched him for a moment.

“You’d take care of her.” That wasn’t a question either.

Lenny stubbed out the cigarette, tone light when he spoke, like there was another one of those jokes Abe wasn’t privy to, “Always, everywhere.”

“So why not say something?”

“You are a confusing man,” Lenny shook his head in amusement. “I can see where she gets it from.”

And Abe had no idea what that meant, but he had an inkling that perhaps he and this scruffy comedian who his daughter liked so much might actually be on even footing. Might actually respect each other. It was an odd sensation.

He didn’t mind it.

Chapter Text

Whatever you do, don't worry 'bout me
I'm thinkin' 'bout you, don't worry 'bout us
'Cause in the morning everything can change, yeah
And time will tell you it does
Better Days - OneRepublic

Once Lenny and her parents left the room, Midge couldn’t think of what to say, and silence permeated the air for a long minute before either of them spoke, and then they both tried at once.

“What are-”

“Susie, I’m-”

“What?”

“What?”

“Huh?”

“I’m sorry,” Midge said, squeezing her hand. Which seemed to alert Susie to the fact that she was holding it. She sat up a little straighter and pulled her arm away, using it to fluff the pillows up behind her.

“What are you doing here, don’t you have a gig tonight?” Susie scowled, ignoring Midge’s apology. “And was I dreaming or was that Lenny Bruce in this room a minute ago? And-”

“Aren’t you listening to me, I’m trying to tell you I’m sorry.”

“What have you got to be sorry for? For missing a gig just to sit by my bedside like you’re waiting for my last will and testament?”

Midge frowned. This really wasn’t how she thought this conversation was going to go. “No, I’m…”

“And what the hell is Lenny doing here?”

She huffed. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“He showed up. Tonight. I think my father called him,” she admitted.

Susie’s eyes became as wide as saucers. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I know,” she picked some lint off her skirt to avoid meeting her gaze. “It’s weird, right? I was getting ready for my gig tonight and he turned up to tell me not to do it and dragged me down here to visit you even though we thought you were sleeping, and he’s been, I mean, he’s… sweet, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that-”

“Wait, wait, wait, he showed up to tell you not to do a gig?” Susie blinked. “Wow, you guys must have been seriously worried.”

“Were you not getting that from the heart attack?!”  Midge snapped, and then it was like the floodgates were opened and she was pouring out every little frustrated thing she’d felt since Susie’s collapse the night before. She really went to town on Susie. She probably shouldn’t have, probably should have let her rest more, or saved the arguing for later, but she was so worried that it all just came pouring out of her. And Susie let her rant.

“...and I mean, seriously, why wouldn’t you tell me if you were beginning to feel sick?” she was starting to run out of steam, and her annoyance was falling away to reveal the panic underneath, and Susie’s eyes widened because she could deal with anger but she’d never been great at the mushy shit and they both knew it. Midge tried to blink the approaching tears away, but her cheeks were getting warm. “I just don’t understand. And I’m putting my foot down. From now on, you’re not travelling with me for gigs.”

“What?!”

“And you’re taking breaks - you shouldn’t be managing me every second of every day. I know things got pretty bad after the Shy thing, and you basically got us back on track single-handedly, but that’s so much work, and far too much stress, and I really think-”

“You wanna know what I think or you wanna ramble some more?” Susie interrupted, eyebrows raised.

Midge faltered. “I wouldn’t mind rambling, actually.”

“Don’t I know it,” she shook her head. “Look, Midge, I understand that I scared you, and I feel bad for that, I do, but I’m fine now!”

“You’re not fine, you’re lying in a hospital bed hooked up to a bunch of things I don’t understand!”

“Yeah, but I’m not having a heart attack anymore, and some would say that’s a plus,” she tried. When Midge tried to protest again, she held up a hand. “Look, I’m stuck here for a few more days, but I really am fine. It was a one time thing, it’s no big deal.”

“But if it’s caused by stress, then we should be doing everything we can to prevent it from happening again, like removing you from stressful situations.”

“Does this conversation count?”

“Be serious, Susie, you almost died!” Midge sniffed.

“Oh my god, Midge, it’s not your fault!”  Susie threw up her hands. “This is my fault, with the smoking and the drinking and the gambling and the-” she cut herself off, shaking her head again. “Look, the point is, this is not your fault, and you need to stop worrying, because I am going to make a full recovery and then we’re going to go on tour. And in the meantime, you need to take it down about fifteen notches, because you’re freaking me out!”

She hesitated.

“Midge.”

“Fine. But when you’re out of the hospital we are going to have a serious conversation about this,” she said, impassioned.

“Wow, I can’t wait,” Susie said sarcastically. “Now can we talk about the fact that your father called Lenny Bruce, because I don’t think we discussed that enough.”

And I must admit that I’m tired of saying “no” all the time.
But I must admit that I don’t really know what would be right.
Once We Were Anarchists - Frank Turner

It was almost midnight by the time they left the hospital. After an hour or so, Abe decided they had given the women enough time alone, and he and Lenny went to find Rose, who had procured some kind of pudding dish seemingly from nowhere, and then they returned to the room.

Susie was chatty - not really a surprise, but Abe remained concerned about her energy after such an ordeal, unnerved by it - and Midge was beginning to engage more too, which was nice. Abe didn’t often admit to himself that he liked hearing his daughter express her opinions so loudly, but being confronted with the sudden absence of that outspokenness really threw him for a loop. He kept his thoughts to himself, as did Rose; only occasionally chiming in when invited to do so. It didn’t really feel like his place. He was interested to see Lenny remaining silent as well.

It fascinated him, the way this man could speak so candidly on stage, could be so vulgar in front of hundreds of people, and yet seemed so pensive in person.

As they were leaving the hospital, he made to head towards the car and noticed Lenny lingering in the doorway. “Have you forgotten something?”

“I think I’m going to call a cab,” he offered, sharing a look with Midge that Abe didn’t understand.

“A cab, what are you talking about?”

“Well, I don’t expect you to drive me to my hotel.”

“Hotel? Don’t be ridiculous, you’re staying with us,” he said. Rose and Midge both swung to faces him, eyebrows disappearing into their hair, and he didn't blame them. He'd actually managed to take himself by surprise. But there was that itch in him to poke at the status quo, to rebel, and this man was the embodiment of that. He could live vicariously simply by bringing him to Steiner and watching the cat fly among the pigeons - not to mention he felt he owed the man for turning up at short notice with no prompting, just to help his daughter. 

Lenny frowned. “No, I… I booked a hotel, and besides I’m sure you don’t want someone like me staying in your resort house and sullying up the place. I’m not exactly the type.”

“It’s far too late to check into a hotel now,” Abe tapped his watch for emphasis, holding it in the air in front of him. “And frankly I don’t care about what anyone else thinks anymore, I’m tired of it. It’s exhausting, caring about what people think, especially these people.”

“Papa, you are one of these people,” Midge said impassively.

He ignored her. “I’m not going to take no for an answer, Mr Bruce. You can stay on our sun porch for the night and you can check into your hotel in town tomorrow.”

Lenny hesitated for a moment, glancing between the three of them. When he caved, he ducked his head close to Midge as they resumed their walk to the car, “Your family sure is something Midge.”

When they arrived back at Steiner, Rose helped him find some blankets to put on the couch while Lenny and Midge talked idly by the window. He wasn’t trying to eavesdrop this time, but he managed to piece together that they were discussing Susie’s health, so he finished setting up the sun porch and clapped his hands together to get their attention.

“Well, it’s been a long night and some of us have early mornings tomorrow. Miriam you should get some rest, and I’m sure Mr Bruce needs some sleep too.”

Midge made a face at him, the same face she made whenever he was interrupting a conversation, but she seemed to agree with the thought, despite herself. She smiled briefly at Lenny, and then drifted off towards her room, waving as she went.

Lenny leaned against the window, arms folded awkwardly across himself. “Thank you for letting me stay, really, you didn’t have to-”

“Of course I did. You showed up for my daughter, Mr Bruce,” he said solemnly.

“You really should just call me Lenny,” he suggested, artfully avoiding the sentiment of Abe’s words.

“Fine,” he nodded, still not quite sure how to broach the topic of his morning exercise. “Look, before… I do a lot of different things up here, but one of those things is my morning routine.”

“Okay?” Lenny raised an eyebrow.

“I wake up before anyone else and I go down to the lake to do my morning calisthenics, and I wear a particular outfit, an outfit that very few people have ever seen me in, and with you being down here, if you’re awake, you might see it. I wear a tight-fitted one-piece exercise outfit.”

Lenny’s hand came up to cover his mouth as he listened, but it didn’t seem to be horror or even amusement, he seemed to just be taking the idea in. After a brief pause he lifted his hand, “You wear a romper?”

“Yes! When I had this conversation with Joel a few years ago it took him much longer to understand, this is easier, yes I wear a romper, but I don’t like people seeing me in it, so I thought perhaps I should warn you in case you do.”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem, I’m not really a morning person,” he shrugged, corner of his mouth pulling like he was fighting a smile.

“Oh. Well. Good. That’s good,” he tapped his fingers against his leg. “Good.”

“Good,” he parrotted, the smile almost taking over.

“Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you tomorrow then, at breakfast maybe?”

“I’ll do my best, but I don’t make any promises,” he said, lazily-saluting, and Abe nodded and trudged up the stairs, wondering where on earth his life had gotten to that Lenny Bruce was staying on his sun porch and promising to sleep through his morning routine.

The next morning Midge woke up unusually early and depressingly sober and she walked tiredly down the stairs, still blinking sleep from her eyes, which is why when she reached the bottom she walked directly into someone. She stumbled, already apologising, and he caught her arm, and oh no-

Lenny Bruce looked good in the mornings.

His hair was a mess of curls, framing his face, and his shirt was half-tucked into his trousers, buttons done up to the middle for some semblance of propriety. The suit she usually expected to see him in was hanging over the back of a chair, and he was wearing socks. Socks.

“You alright there, Upper West Side? You’re looking pretty nauseous for someone who didn’t drink anything yesterday,” he said, hand still curled around her elbow.

“What?” she snapped back to attention, struggling to catch up with his words when her brain was still caught on his buttons. “Uh, yeah, I’m fine, just tired. Are you coming to breakfast?”

“Apparently I can’t avoid it. Your mother was pretty insistent.”

“Ah, right, sorry about that.”

He waved a hand, leaning back against the doorframe, and changed the topic. “Are you aware your father exercises in the mornings?”

“Yes. We all know, but he prefers to think that we don’t, so we don’t talk about it,” Midge explained, turning slightly so she could lean opposite him. His hand fell of her arm and she tried not to notice how similar this felt to that night in Florida, staring at each other in a doorway. “So, are you… sticking around, after breakfast, or do you need to go to your hotel? Or is there something you need to get back to? God, I didn’t even think to ask when you showed up yesterday if you were busy or anything, you-”

“I’m not busy,” he squinted at her. “And I'm never too busy for you anyway. Besides, I don’t feel right leaving when Susie’s still in hospital; you need someone to come to your gigs and tell you how great you are or you’ll waste away.”

“See, you get it,” she grinned, enjoying the way his own lips turned upwards ever so slightly. “Okay, so… you’re sticking around?”

“I guess so,” he said, making a face as he broke her gaze to look out the window. “But someone’s gonna have to explain to me what people like about these places because I just do not get it.”

“We’re having breakfast in twenty minutes and neither of you are ready so I don’t see why you’re wasting time on the stairs,” Rose interrupted, breezing between them on her way up to her room.

Midge pressed her lips together, inexplicably embarrassed, and he smirked as he returned to the sun porch to grab his clothes. She headed for the bathroom upstairs, all the while wondering how anyone could look so good with bed hair. She couldn’t wrap her mind around any of it, but one thought kept circling her mind;

Lenny Bruce was staying in the Catskills.

This was going to be fun.

Breakfast wasn’t as awkward as she thought it was going to be, although she had a feeling that both her parents and Lenny were on their best behaviour. It was a little odd, if she was honest. She wasn’t used to seeing her parents so conversational with someone she knew they didn’t understand, nor did she expect for Lenny’s conversation to be mostly mild anecdotes and distinctly lacking in jokes.

It was like she’d fallen asleep in her world and woken up in another one that didn’t make sense.

It was only after her parents split off to attend to their own plans - Rose at the hairdressers and Abe to argue with Jerome over shuffleboard - that things started to sink in. Lenny leaned back in his chair, drink in hand, and regarded her thoughtfully.

“Is there something on my face?” Midge asked, trying to break any tension that may or may not have settled between them from the second her parents left - the same tension she always felt when she was alone with him.

He shook his head. “I’m thinking.”

“Thinking about what?” she asked, even though she was afraid of the answer. Instead of providing it, he put his drink down and stood up, jerking his head towards the path near the lake - a clear invitation to accompany him. She got to her feet, smoothing down the creases in her skirt and fell into step beside him, and she couldn’t help but glance at him as they started walking. Before she had a chance to ask again, he changed the subject. He’d been doing that a lot since he arrived.

“So what are actually you supposed to do in a hellhole like this?” Lenny asked, looking around at the sunny landscape.

She laughed. “You socialise, you relax, you participate-”

“Participate?” A vaguely disgusted look crossed his face and she wanted to laugh at his clear distaste for the place, but she actually wanted him to enjoy himself while he was here - considering he came for her - so she pushed the desire down.

“They have plenty of activities to choose from,” she said, raising an eyebrow at him in challenge.

For some reason, he chuckled, hiding it behind his hand. “Activities, huh? So this is where that comes from.”

“Where what comes from?”

“Activities,” he said again, shaking his head like she should know what he meant. When she kept blinking at him he caved, smile playing at his lips distractingly. “When we got high at The Vanguard that first time, you wanted to do an activity. It made an impression. But then, you’re pretty good at making an impression.”

She snorted. “In my defence, I was high at the time.”

“Excellent defence, I’m sure the judge will waive all the charges,” he was doing that thing where he looked at her with affection in his eyes while his mouth was busy telling jokes, and she found herself enamoured with it, as always. A moment passed in silence while he looked at her and she looked back, before he asked, “Okay, Mrs Maisel, what do you suggest we do?”

“Do you know how to row?” Midge asked, and for some reason she was waiting with baited breath for his answer, like it was important even though she knew it wasn’t. Like it mattered if he could row or not. Like it mattered if they could sit in a boat together for twenty minutes.

He shrugged. “In theory.”

“Perfect, follow me,” she grinned and tangled their fingers together so she could drag him towards the lake, absolutely not thinking about the fact that he was letting her do it.

Josh saw them approaching and offered a hand to let her into the boat, but Lenny got there first - already at an advantage with her hand in his - and helped her off the boardwalk.

“No standing, no rocking,” Josh started listing off.

“No rowing past the buoys, we’ve got it, thanks Josh,” she finished for him as Lenny clambered in across from her. She waited, but no-one pushed the boat away, and she looked up. “Uh, Josh? You gonna send us out?”

“Are you Lenny Bruce?” he asked, ignoring Midge completely.

“Unfortunately, yes, but I’ll try my best not to be while I’m here,” he replied.

“I’ve never seen you here before.”

“I don’t usually come here.”

“That’ll be it.”

“That’ll be it, yes,” he tilted his head. “Did you want something, or?”

“Does Pauly know you’re here?”

“Who’s Pauly?”

“Okay, thanks Josh, but we really want to relax on the lake now,” Midge said loudly, and he finally seemed to remember why they were there, and propelled them out into the water, watching them curiously as they floated further and further away. Midge let her head fall into her hands. “He’s going to tell everyone.”

“So?”

“So now everyone is going to know you’re here.”

“So?”

“So they’re going to think you’re here with me.”

“I am here with you.”

“No, they’re going to think you’re here with me.”

“I’m failing to see the problem here.”

“Are you doing this on purpose?”

He smirked. He picked up the oars and hooked them over the sides of the boat, sweeping them through the water. It didn’t take long to get a rhythm going, and they started cruising away from the other boats, towards the middle of the lake. “I promise to be on my best behaviour while I’m here, then they’ll have no reason to gossip.”

“Have you met these people, gossip is what they live on!” she groaned. “It's half the dietary requirements of this place. One plate of gefilte fish, one bowl of steaming hot hearsay! I bet they’re already talking about you; ninety percent of the people in this place probably think you’re evil incarnate, so when you say best behaviour, you better mean it.”

“Only ninety percent? I must be slipping,” he joked, but at her glare he acquiesced, albeit with another joke. “Alright, I won’t flash my tits at anyone while I’m here.”

She relaxed a little. “That’s gonna be a little tough because I entered you in the Mrs Steiner Pageant - even bought you a bikini and everything.”

“A swimsuit competition? Well we can’t pass up that opportunity,” he flashed a grin at her. A few minutes passed in peaceful silence, the two of them just enjoying each other’s company and pretending not to notice the obvious stares of other couples as they passed them. Lenny seemed to be struck with something, fidgeting slightly, and he clicked his fingers, clearly trying to work out how to put it.

Midge put him out of his misery by saying, “You and my parents disappeared for a while last night. I was surprised you all came back alive.”

He sagged, a somewhat defeated expression crossing his face before he covered it. “It wasn’t that bad, actually.”

“Oh? Were you sitting with the right people?” she teased, eyes caught on a formation of birds over the treeline.

"Your father and I had a nice talk, it was, uh, strange,” he admitted.

Her head whipped around. “Strange? Strange how?”

“Well… I think he likes me,” Lenny said, nose scrunching up at the very notion.

Midge froze. It was almost comical, and she was certain that on another day she’d be able to joke about how Lenny Bruce literally halted her brain for a full minute, but in that moment she completely short-circuited. She blinked rapidly, trying to come back into herself. “My father? Abe Weissman?”

“The very same,” his expression was a mixture of amusement and concern.

“What did he say? Wh-”

Lenny did the thing he tended to do where his hand gestures became more animated the funnier he found an idea, gesticulating with his interjection. “He didn’t explicitly tell me so; I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to do it in polite conversation - although I wouldn’t know, obviously - it was just… implied. He likes me.”

“He likes you,” she repeated, impassive.

“Yes.”

“My father.”

“Yes.”

“Likes you.”

“Midge are you okay? Do you need a doctor? Are you feeling faint?” Lenny was teasing her now, but she could barely wrap her head around the notion. It just didn’t track with her idea of the world.

“I just…” she looked at him, into his eyes, and she saw him for everything that he was. She always had. She liked him, for all of it. But the idea of her father seeing any of those parts of him, even in moderation, and not despising him for them just surprised her. Either her father had grown or Lenny was really good at charming people. It could go either way. “He likes you.”

“Apparently. I can see that confuses you, trust me, I am too, but this is where we are,” he said placatingly. “Anyway, let’s move past that, because I don’t think it’s a mystery we’re gonna solve today. What do you really do for fun around here?”

“You asked me that already.”

“But what do you do for fun?” Lenny asked, curious. “You can’t tell me you’re fully satisfied just smiling with the housewives and getting your hair done for two months?”

She smirked. “Sometimes I make up gossip just to stir them up.”

“That’s more like it. What kind of gossip?”

“A few years ago I told some of them that Benjamin was a convict.”

“Fascinating,” Lenny said, and despite the joking tone of his voice, he was looking at her in utter enrapturement.

She shrugged. “I could start a rumour about you if you like.”

He sat forward enthusiastically, making the boat wobble. “Absolutely.”

“Do you have a preference?”

“Did Benjamin get a say in what you spread about him?”

“No, I-”

“Excellent,” he tilted his head at her, thinking it over.

Abe was trying to focus on the game - he was so close to winning - when Shirley appeared at his shoulder, throwing him off.

“Are you aware that your daughter is in the lake with a criminal?!”

He growled as the shot went sideways and Jerome whooped in triumph, and he turned to face the woman. “Excuse me?”

“Midge is rowing on the lake with Lenny Bruce.” she said, far too loudly, and a number of heads swivelled their way. “Are you going to do something about this? People will talk.”

“People are clearly already talking, Shirley,” he said. He had very little patience for the Maisels at the best of times, but especially not when one had ruined his game. “What do you expect me to do?”

“Put a stop to it!”

“Why?”

“Because… it’s not right! I cannot believe you would allow your daughter to date a criminal!”

“Shirley, Lenny Bruce is a very nice man, who came to check on Miriam after her friend had a heart attack, something which I noticed you didn’t do. Now he might not be the usual kind of person to stay here at Steiner, but he isn’t going to cause any trouble, and he isn’t dating my daughter.”

“Of course he is.”

“He’s not.”

“Don’t be so naive, Abe, they’re rowing,” she said emphatically.

“And it’s out in the open air so at the very least we know they’re not going to have sex out there,” he replied, irate, trying to say something shocking just so she’d leave him alone and let him get back to his game. It appeared to work, judging by the horrified look on her face. “Now would you please leave me be, I have relaxing to return to.”

“I knew I should have gone to Rose first,” she muttered to herself, turning on her heel and storming from the room, and Abe turned back to the board.

“Is that true? Is Midge with Lenny Bruce?” Jerome asked, interested.

“Let’s just play the game,” Abe sighed, trying to line himself up again.

“Abe! Are you aware of who your daughter is spending time with?” Moishe’s voice cut through the air, and Abe slumped against the table, giving up entirely.

After they arrived back on land and paced up the boardwalk towards the mess hall, Midge began to notice a fair few more eyes on them than there had been before they hopped in the boat.

“They’re staring at us,” she muttered.

“You’d think you’d be used to that by now, as a comedian,” he joked, and was he walking that close to her before?

“That’s different and you know it.”

“Actually, being stared at on stage and gawked at in person have pretty much always gone hand in hand for me.”

“Alright, well we can’t all be Lenny Bruce.”

“Thank God,” he said emphatically, making her smile.

“Midge!” a familiar high-pitched voice sailed between them. “Oh my gosh, we’ve been looking all over for you!”

“Astrid,” Midge said, surprised. The woman in question was approaching with her brother, both of them smiling genially. “Noah, what are you doing here, I didn’t think you were arriving until next week!”

Noah looked a little sheepish. “We were going to surprise you at dinner tonight, but when we went to check in with Mom, she said something about you being busy with, well,” he gestured at Lenny, “and we just had to come see if it was true. I mean, I knew you were getting pretty big in the comedy scene now but I didn’t know you were bumping elbows with celebrities.”

“Actually, I’ve known Lenny for years,” she admitted. “I met him when I got arrested.”

“And you decided to keep that a secret?” Noah asked, flabbergasted. “I thought we were done with secrets, Midget.”

“Midget?” Lenny mouthed at her, trying to hide a smile.

She ducked her head, flustered. “I wasn’t hiding it, you never asked.”

“What was I supposed to ask? Hey kid, made friends with any controversial comedians lately?”

“That would have been a good start," she deadpanned. 

“I saw you on the Steve Allen Show,” Astrid chimed in, beaming at Lenny. “I thought you were very nice!”

“Ah, thank you,” he said,self-conscious, immediately trying to deflect her attention elsewhere. “Midge was at that show, y’know.”

“What?!” Astrid threw up her hands in excitement, voice rising even further in pitch.

“Yeah, Lenny wanted some moral support and I fancied the idea of upstaging him on TV, but sadly there were people there who held me back,” she joked.

“She broke four noses and a foot,” Lenny joined in.

“And we don’t wanna talk about Perry’s nose,” she added.

Noah looked between them, eyes narrowed as they volleyed wit back and forth. “You two really are friends. This is crazy. What does Dad think?”

“He likes him,” Midge said matter-of-factly.

The smiles froze on both Noah and Astrid’s faces, but it was Noah who spoke. “Our father? Abe Weissman?”

“Yeah, I’ve already had this malfunction.”

“I don’t know why you’re all so surprised, I am adorable,” Lenny winked, and Midge slapped his arm with the back of her hand, only making his grin widen.

Just think of those shocks you've got
And those knocks you've got
And those blues you've got
From that news you've got
And those pains you've got
(If any brains you've got)
From those little radios.
Anything Goes - Cole Porter

While Midge and Rose went upstairs to change their dresses for dinner, Abe shuffled around downstairs making himself a drink. He glanced over his shoulder.

“Would you like one?”

“What is it?”

“Tomato juice.”

“I’m good, thanks,” he lifted a hand.

“Is that all you brought?” Abe asked, dropping a stick of celery into the glass.

Lenny looked uncertain. “Excuse me?”

“The suit, is that, are those the only clothes you brought with you?”

“Oh. Yeah, but I’m pretty used to sleeping rough, and wearing the same clothes for a while. Although this could hardly be considered sleeping rough - that couch is more comfortable than any motel bed I’ve ever slept on.”

“It is nice,” Abe acknowledged. He sipped his drink. “I could lend you some of my suits, if you like.”

“Oh, no, that’s really not necessary Mr Weissman,” he looked alarmed at the prospect. “No, I think I can manage with this one, and I can always go into town tomorrow and buy another.”

Abe hummed pensively. “Are you certain you don’t need-”

“Absolutely. But I do appreciate the offer.”

“Ready to go boys?” Rose asked as she and Midge descended the stairs. They were both in completely different dresses to earlier, Abe knew that, and yet he couldn’t for the life of him pinpoint what the differences were supposed to be. Was it the colour? He couldn’t really picture the colours they’d been previous, let alone compare it to the colours they were now, so he simply told them they looked lovely and took his wife’s arm to walk them to dinner.

They sat down at their usual table, and - miraculously - they were saved from the company of Shirley and Moishe by Joel’s insistence that ten people on a table was too many. So the Maisel’s sat blessedly far away (also Joel’s doing, judging by the secretive nod he sent Midge’s way and the salute she offered back) and the six of them sat down for dinner.

They were a few meals in when Lenny leaned closer to Midge so he could murmur in her ear. “Who are those strange people that keep looking at me?”

She looked around and Abe followed her gaze over to the Maisels. She speared a vegetable with her fork. “That’s Joel.”

“Your ex-husband, Joel?”

“The very same.”

“Is there a reason he keeps looking over his shoulder at me?”

“I think he’s just a fan,” she said, popping a piece of bread in her mouth.

He nodded slowly. “Okay. But why are the rest of them looking?”

“Because they think you’re a criminal,” she said, mouth full of food.

“Because they’re closed minded,” Abe corrected her, wagging a finger in their direction. “And because you’re the first new thing people have seen here in twenty years that wasn’t a baby.”

“Oh well, I’ll try to take that as a compliment,” Lenny said, and Abe couldn’t help but notice the way he watched Midge, waiting for her to smile before he sat back in his chair. He saw Noah catch it as well, and they shared a look over the table. It had been a while since the last time he’d felt so watchful over his daughter, as if waiting at any moment for a proposal to be sprung upon him - despite Lenny’s promise he wouldn’t propose and Midge’s outright insistence that they weren’t even a couple.

It was an odd year, to be sure, but what years hadn’t been odd lately?

Noah seemed to like Lenny, Astrid was completely enamoured with him, and even Rose wasn’t turning her nose up quite so much now as she had been the night before. It was surprisingly pleasant, which was not an experience he usually had when Moishe was around, so there was even more to thank the comedian’s presence for.

Strange, indeed.

When the plates were cleared away and the drinks were beginning to pour, Pauly got on stage to give some rambling speech about the place and Midge mostly tuned him out, too busy watching Lenny do his level best to be polite as Astrid asked him question after question after question, and Noah sat beside her mouthing apologies.

It wasn’t until Pauly wrapped it up and stepped away that she finally turned her attention to the stage, largely because a familiar blue coat has sprinted onto it.

Buzz bounded up to the microphone with the enthusiasm of an excitable puppy, much to the band’s evident confusion, and he grinning widely as he surveyed the crowd. “I’ll let these guys play you some real music in a second, but I have an idea first. Far be it from me to assume, but, well, I think you guys have been getting too comfortable, so I think it’s time to shake things up a little,” he announced.

“Dance challenge?” Midge nudged her mother and Astrid.

“Dance challenge,” Rose agreed.

Astrid beamed. “Ooh, I’m so excited, I never get to do the dance challenge!”

“What the hell is a dance challenge?” Lenny asked with an air of exasperated delight, but none of the women acknowledged the question, too busy waiting for the rule.

Buzz didn’t take too long making them wait for it, eye firmly on Abe before he called out, “Dance with someone of a different height to you! If you’re too close in height, you just can’t dance!”

Midge was already on her feet, looking for someone tall. Instead she found a gentleman who was a few inches shorter than her and decided that would have to do. “How’re you doing David?”

“I’m well, I’m well, my wife is dancing with a very handsome young man so I’m attempting not to look.”

She giggled. “How’s that going for you?”

“Not well,” he admitted, but there was a smile in his cheeks. “Anyway, how are you hanging in there Midge?”

Her brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve all heard about your friend in hospital - not that we’re gossiping, but news does get around - and we’re hoping she makes a speedy recovery,” he said as they danced across the floor.

“Aw, well thanks,” was all she managed before the switch was called and she bumped into a familiar figure. “Oh.”

Benjamin didn’t look pleased either but it would only be for a little while so he spun her out and back in. “How’s Susie?”

“Getting better. The doctor says she might be able to come back tomorrow.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” he nodded along to the music as they moved. “You think you could convince your boy over there to dance? He’s quite a hot ticket item and he’s distracting a lot of the girls on the dancefloor.”

Midge glanced around, confused, until her gaze landed on Lenny, still sitting at the table. He was smoking while he watched the proceedings with amusement, but he didn’t look like he planned to vacate his seat any time soon. Which was only proven correct when they danced a little closer and she noticed a woman walk over to him.

“Hey there!”

He looked up at her politely, “Hello.”

She ducked her head a little, looking under her lashes at him demurely. “Do you wanna dance?”

He smiled, pacifying. “I would, but unfortunately I don’t dance. Two left feet, you know.”

“I could teach you,” the girl offered, still trying to convince him.

He shook his head, courteous even in rejection. “I tried it once; trust me when I say you don’t wanna see that.”

“You really don’t,” Midge called out, making his head jerk around. “He was one of the worst dance partners I ever had. I think he might have killed a man on our way off the dancefloor.”

“I did, but that had nothing to do with the steps,” Lenny quipped. He took another drag of his cigarette as he met her eye, mirth playing at the corners of his mouth. She could feel Benjamin’s gaze flicking between them as they danced, and the girl seemed to be doing the same, but she couldn’t take her own off of Lenny. She wondered if he meant what he said about not dancing. She wondered why she was the exception. The answer was just out of reach, but she left it where it was and then she switched dance partners and ended up with Noah.

“Trust you to bring Lenny Bruce to the Catskills,” he twirled her.

“I didn’t invite him, he just showed up, it’s not my fault he’s famous.”

“Well he’s scandalised some of the old ladies just by being here, so you better keep him on a tight leash. If he says something too racy I think Pauly might have a conniption and shut this whole place down forever.”

“We can’t have that,” Midge vowed.

Noah chuckled. “I thought I asked you to make sure the next person you got involved with had weak upper body strength - then you went out and got Benjamin, which I thought was bad enough - but now you’ve gone and bagged a guy who could not only take me in a fight but also knows Zsa Zsa Gabor? It’s like you’re actively campaigning to prevent me from defending your honour.”

“In my defence, it’s pretty hard to find someone who couldn’t take you in a fight.”

He mimed being shot in the shoulder. “Wow Midget, that hurts! I thought family was supposed to lie to each other to make us feel better.”

“Not me; face the facts Noah, you broke your finger on an arm, you’re not getting into any fights real soon. And I’m not involved with Lenny,” she added. She was so used to saying that to people that it almost happened on autopilot, but this wasn’t just anyone, this was her brother.

Noah raised his eyebrows. “The way he looks at you says different.”

“Yeah, well I don’t have any control over that,” she muttered, heart fluttering at the idea that someone else could see it too; someone else noticed the way Lenny’s gaze lingered just a little too long. If her brother thought it, then it wasn’t just a matter of sexist club owners making assumptions anymore. It was something in the way they were together. “It’s complicated. We’ve known each other a long time - he’s one of my closest friends.”

“That’s not really the obstacle you’re implying it is,” Noah said, and then the couples switched and she ended up with Rebecca Abelson.

“Oh hey honey, how’s tricks?”

“Still turning them,” Midge joked.

“We heard about your friend, that’s awful sad,” she said, shaking her head mournfully, which really jarred against the cheerful tune that began as they danced.

“I was dancing with your husband earlier, he was very nice about it.”

“Was he terribly upset that I was dancing with that handsome Galinski boy? It isn’t my fault we’re the same height, and the boy is taller than me, and he did ask,” Rebecca said.

“I’m sure he’ll get over it,” Midge smiled, and noticed David jumping with someone over her shoulder. She twirled her towards him. “Go get him back! Tell him he’s tall enough for you!”

Midge watched them fall into each other and start dancing, and it took her a moment to realise she hadn’t nabbed a new partner. She could see Lenny through the crowd, still sitting, sipping a scotch and watching the people dance. It struck her that she didn’t really want to dance with anyone else. Not when the person she wanted most wasn’t on the floor. She broke away from the congregation and collapsed into the vacant chair next to Lenny. He pushed his drink towards her wordlessly and she downed it in one, out of breath and thirsty. When she put the glass back on the table there was a look of admiration in his eye.

“What?”

He tilted his head. “I’ve never seen someone move the way you do.”

She frowned, bemused.

“All those partners and from what I could see you managed to hold a conversation with every one of them. I can’t even work up the energy to speak to your sister-in-law for more than five minutes and you’re on the dancefloor fielding questions from every Jew in New York.”

“Don’t feel too bad, no-one has the energy to speak to Astrid for more than five minutes.”

“Your brother is a lucky man,” Lenny deadpanned, but there was fondness in it. He liked her family. Despite everything, despite the social divide and the uptight attitudes of her parents and the place they were in, and despite his lack of desire to ever come to a place like this, he actually liked her brother and his wife and even her parents. It was unexpected, but undeniably nice. The only thing that was missing was Susie's curmudgeonly presence, but otherwise things were getting pretty close to perfect, and once she was out of the hospital Midge would finally be able to relax. Somewhat.

Lenny Bruce might stick out like a sore thumb wherever he went, but somehow, some way, he fit in with her.

Chapter Text

This is my first wave of my white flag
This is the sound of me hitting bottom
This my surrender, if that's what you call it
In the anatomy of my crash

And I keep on smiling
Keep on moving
Can't stand still
Smiling - Alanis Morissette

The phone rang, shrill and sharp, rudely awakening Midge from what had been the best sleep she’d had in weeks. She burrowed further into the mattress, determined to ignore the noise until it went away. Unfortunately, Rose was pretty religious about picking up the phone, and it took barely a minute before there was a sharp rap on her door.

“Miriam? Phone for you.”

She groaned, pushing herself out of bed, her eyes still half-closed, and dragged a robe off the back of the vanity chair to wrap around herself. She opened the door to find her mother already completely dressed, perfectly put together, holding out the phone expectantly.

Midge rubbed her eyes. “What do they want?”

“It’s Susie, you’ll have to ask her,” Rose replied.

“Susie?! Why didn’t you open with that?” Midge asked, snatching the phone away from her mother, who only smiled at her, oddly fond, before she waved a hand and said something about seeing her for breakfast. Midge shuffled back into her room and climbed under the covers, holding the phone close. “Susie?”

“You took your time. I had to make smalltalk with your mother, and you know how much that pains me,” she said, surprisingly chipper.

“It’s before seven, Susie, I didn’t even know you were capable of being up this early.”

“Yeah, the hospital’s been pretty insistent about establishing a routine. I get up early, I eat healthy, they’ve even got me on some kind of barbaric exercise regiment! It’s disgusting, I need outta here, Midge, you gotta get me out!”

“Not until you’re better,” she scolded.

Susie groaned. “I’m practically an olympian, I really don’t think-”

“Susie.”

“Midge.”

“How long does the doctor say until you’re allowed to come back?”

“A few days,” she said petulantly. “Friday, he thinks.”

“Friday?” Midge sat up, kicking the covers to her ankles. “Susie, that’s fantastic! What are you so upset about, that’s wonderful news?”

“That’s four more days of vegetables, Midge. I hadn’t even heard of half these things before I got here and now it’s all I can eat. They won’t even let me touch the puddings. Something about cholesterol. You know they won’t let me eat eggs?”

“You can make it four days.”

She could practically hear Susie’s eye-roll but blessedly, she changed the subject. “More importantly, I heard you’ve been doing gigs again?”

“Yeah, Lenny’s been taking me,” Midge started wrapping the phone cord around her finger, pulling it taut under the doorway before letting it loose again, repeating the motion while she talked. “He’s been really good, actually - very supportive, helping me punch up my jokes, being there after the shows - of course, he’s no replacement for you, but he’s…”

She trailed off, trying to think of the right way to describe it, but before she could, there was the very distinct sound of a hand smacking into a forehead. “Oh my god.”

“What?”

“You’re in love with him!”

“What?!” Midge almost dropped the phone.

“I can’t believe I didn’t see it before, of course you’re in love with him-”

“No I’m not.”

“Don’t be an idiot, Midge, of course you are; your voice gets all mushy when you talk about him - it’s gross.”

She could feel herself blushing. “It does not.”

“It does! It’s almost worse than the vegetables.”

“Stop it,” she scolded. “Leave it alone.”

“Why? He’s been in love with you for years, this is great!”

Midge felt her heart stop, just for a second. There it was - the indisputable fact she’d so artfully been avoiding for so long, just blurted right out. Like it was no big deal. The thing she’d known for years but had managed to tune out. Lenny Bruce was in love with her. She drew her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them, trying to blot out the anxiety that thought brought her, and the pleasant tug in her stomach that accompanied it; the part of her that liked the idea. Because if Lenny loved her, then it meant things might change, and she didn’t want things to change. She needed everything to stay exactly how it was, at least until Susie was back and okay and things were close to normal again.

Speaking of the woman in question, she was still talking, rambling on about how good of a match her and Lenny were, and Midge swallowed around the lump in her throat.

“Please,” she whispered, hoarse. “Please, Susie, just… leave it alone.”

And Susie might have been a bulldozer, but she wasn’t unempathetic. She dropped it, awkwardly turning the conversation over to her gigs, and asking about the turnout, the kinds of jokes she was doing, the new material she was testing. The rest of the conversation was a lot more comfortable but that didn’t stop the undercurrent of tension running underneath it.

When Midge rang off, she realised she only pushed the topic to the side; it wasn’t gone, just hovering in the corner of her mind, waiting for her to give it attention again.

Which was made abundantly clear when she got up to put the receiver back and opened her bedroom door to Lenny leaning against the wall in the hallway. When he saw her, a small smile curled across his face.

“Hey, Rose said that was Susie, how’s she doing?”

Midge deliberately avoided his eye as she crossed the landing to put the phone back on the hook. “She’s miserable - but the doctor says she’s allowed back on Friday.”

“Oh that’s perfect!” Lenny said, and she could hear the grin in his voice before she turned around. “She’ll be back just in time to see your big gig.”

She frowned. As far as she knew, Friday’s gig was supposed to be just another Catskills job; cheap and easy. “Big gig?”

“Yeah, it’s a full house,” he snapped his fingers in that way he did when he was trying to contain his enthusiasm. “Your parents are coming, not to mention a large number of people from this fine establishment-”

“Oh god.”

“-and I’ve called a few friends who might be willing to offer you some more TV spots.”

“What?!”  Midge finally looked at him, eyes wide. “What is it with people and burying the lede today?”

He lifted a shoulder, sheepish. “Just a few people, not a big deal, but if Friday goes well, you’ll be bigger than Shy Baldwin.”

He managed the last part with a tiny hint of malice, friendly as it was, and she was reminded once again that he was the only person who truly knew why Shy had kicked her off the tour. Everyone else had been fed some nonsense by Susie about conflicting styles, and even some kind of fight between them about something else, but only she and Lenny knew exactly what Midge had done wrong. She’d blurted it out to him soon afterwards, sobbing and frantic and completely lost in the world - she thought she’d just flushed her entire career down the toilet. Lenny was the only person she trusted with Shy’s secret, because she knew he would understand, and she knew he would tell her the truth. And he did. He told her she fucked up, but that everyone did and he especially had no cause to judge; he told her to pick herself up and start over, just like she had with Joel. Begin again.

And she had; for months she’d returned to bars and comedy clubs, and Lenny had poked his head in every now and again, offering favours that she refused to take, and offering pot that she was happy to share. And over time, she managed to pull herself back to where she was before everything went tits up.

Lenny didn’t harbour any real ill will towards Shy - neither did she; she knew what she’d done wrong - but as her friend, he wanted her to succeed and if that meant becoming the biggest thing in show business, then he would do whatever he could to get her there. She knew that, just like she knew that the way he looked at her wasn’t an accident, and the way her heart fluttered when he quirked his lips upward at her idle jokes wasn’t on purpose.

“You called in favours for me?” Midge raised an eyebrow coolly, even as her pulse thrummed a little harder than it had before. “I thought I told you not to do that.”

“You told me not to do that when you were getting yourself back on your feet,” he pointed out, waving a hand, like it was nothing. No big deal. “Now you’re firmly back on your feet, and you’re a very good friend of mine, and a very good comedian, and it’s time the whole world knew it. Besides, it’s not a favour, I don’t do favours anymore. I’ll put it on your tab.”

Midge couldn’t remember how to swallow, and her voice was too soft, too earnest, too much, when she said, “Lenny.”

The sheepish expression grew and he fidgeted uncomfortably. “You don’t need to make it into some big thing - you’ve been standing outside my playdates for a long time, it’s time you get some playdates for me to bring an umbrella to.”

“You just want to stand off to the side and wait for me to screw up so you can dramatically take my place,” she said, trying desperately to bring the conversation back to stable ground - to jokes.

“That’s not entirely off the table,” he smirked.

She smiled, relieved. That was better. It was so much easier to ignore the humming of her heart when she was busy trying to one-up him with witty volleys. “Good. If I do well, I better see you crying in the wings, and if I do badly, I expect you to bail me out.”

“Wrong way round,” he winked, and wow, it would be really helpful if he could just not do that.

“Only for you! I intend for all my TV appearances to go off without a hitch,” she lifted her chin.

He snorted. “How very Upper West Side of you.”

“Shut up,” she complained, but she was smiling. She couldn’t help it.

“Anyway, uh, I was thinking,” he slid his hand over his mouth, arms folded across himself as he regarded her carefully, “we’ve got a couple of free days before then, we could take a break from worrying about Susie, and take a break from this place, and maybe head back to New York for a day or two.”

She blinked. “Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Why?”

“Because I think it’ll be fun,” he said, like it was obvious.

“Do you need to get back to New York for something, because if you do, you can leave, we won’t be offended, I mean obviously if you’re neglecting other commitments or something we absolutely don’t want to get in your way, and it’s not as-”

“Do you breathe between words?”

She paused, flow interrupted, and frowned. “Do I need to?”

“Usually,” he was smiling at her again, she could see it behind his hand.

Midge deflated slightly. “I’m just… I don’t want you to resent me because you’re stuck here. I don’t want you to feel like I’m keeping you from more important things.”

He nodded, thinking it over, and then he was stepping closer, and the gap between them closed until his hands were around her arms, curling above her elbow, and he was tilting his head to look at her. She made a conscious effort not to hold her breath. “Midge, I am not stuck here, I’m here because you needed someone and I thought that might as well be me. I’m not suggesting we go back to New York because I don’t want to be here, I’m suggesting it because you don’t.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You told me, the night I arrived that you needed everything to stay normal because that way Susie would be okay,” he was being so gentle with her it made her want to run away. His thumb brushed over her arm, soothing. “There’s nothing to do here. I understand that’s a lot of the appeal-”

“No you don’t.”

“No, I don’t, I think you’re all insane, but that’s beside the point,” he squinted at her. “You like having things to do. And I’m pretty sure there’s only so many times you can hula hoop before you snap and kill everyone.”

She huffed, almost a laugh. “I wouldn’t kill everyone.”

He held his hands up in surrender. “Hey, I’m not saying you shouldn’t, I’m just saying I want off the chopping block.”

Midge shook her head, losing the fight with the smile that had been threatening to cover her whole face. She was so close to taking him up on it. She wanted to. Maybe more than anything. But-

“I can’t,” she sighed.

If he was disappointed, he covered it quickly. “Oh? Why not?”

Great, now she had to think of an excuse on the spot. “I promised Joel I’d take the kids for a couple days.” She was going to hell. Oh god, she was so going to hell. But he only nodded, accepting, which made it feel worse. Why did he have to be so great all the time? She attempted another joke, “If I neglect them too much, they’ll grow up to be comedians, and then what’ll I do?”

He smiled. She waited for his response, stuck on his eyes; he was looking at her with that expression again, the one that made her lose her train of thought.

“Miriam? Lenny? Are you coming to breakfast or are we going to dine without you?” Rose called up the stairs, breaking the long look they were sharing.

Midge shook her head, bemused. “My mother just called you ‘Lenny’.”

“I did tell her to.”

“Yeah but… my parents… they like you. I’m still not used to it,” she turned back towards her bedroom door. “Do you mind making an excuse for me, I’ve gotta get dressed.”

“Why not go out like that?”

She laughed. “Because my mother will kill me if I leave this house in pyjamas, even if it’s only to breakfast.”

“No-one would notice; you’re a knockout in those things,” he said, surprisingly earnest.

Midge almost choked on her tongue. She turned to make sure he was still teasing, that they were still on level ground, but he was already descending the stairs. Oh, she was so unbelievably screwed.

And it hurts to know just how lovely you are
And be too far away to hold but close enough to break my heart
Six Feet Apart - Alec Benjamin

Lenny didn’t see much of Midge for the next couple of days. He had a feeling her absence was more than just wanting to spend time with her kids, but he wasn’t a fan of pushing things, where she was concerned.

He was going to leave it alone.

He was.

But unfortunately, the universe had never liked him much - or maybe it was God, or some other divine entity that liked seeing him squirm - because on Thursday, he watched Midge leave after breakfast, and was getting ready to get up himself, when he realised that both of her parents were staring at him. He was used to being regarded as a curiosity, and being stared at was always part of the job, which was why this particular staring caught him by surprise. It was parental; the kind that told you that you were in for a stern talking to, and for some reason, he was going to let them.

“Lenny.” Rose started, folding her hands together on the table. “I think it’s time we all had a conversation.”

He found himself craving a cigarette, but he decided to try and break the tension with a softball joke. “Did I use the wrong fork or something?”

Her expression didn’t change. “We need to talk about your intentions with my daughter.”

“I don’t… have any intentions with your daughter.” He said, and it was almost a question. He looked to Abe, who lifted a shoulder. “I was almost certain I had this conversation last week, but I must have been higher than I thought.”

“It’s not about whether or not you’re going to propose.” Abe explained. “It’s whether or not you should.”

Lenny nodded slowly as he attempted to wrap his brain around the confusing statement. A few seconds passed in silence, and he still didn’t get it. “I’m sorry?”

Rose tutted sharply. “We’ve talked about it, and we think you should propose to Miriam.”

If Lenny had been drinking anything he would have choked on it. As it was, his mouth dropped open rather comically, and he was sure he should be able to come up with something witty to say, but all of his intelligent thought seemed to have been brushed away with Rose’s words. He cleared his throat and leaned forward to grab the half-glass of champagne Midge had left beside her plate, downing it in one. When he could feel the alcohol hit his stomach, he put the glass down and looked back to the Weissmans, both of whom were still staring at him. “I… what?”

“You’re in love with her, correct?” Rose asked, sounding vaguely bored, but her gaze was still as stern as ever.

Lenny gestured a little helplessly.

“You’re the only man she’s shown any interest in for the last few years, and we all saw the disaster that was Benjamin, so I stopped meddling after that, but you seem… good for her.” The words looked like they physically hurt her to say. “She seems less… I don’t know the word for it, but when you’re around, you can talk to her in a way that we can’t. She trusts you. She likes you. And when Susie collapsed, before you showed up, it was like she was completely shut down, she refused to speak to either her father or I, and then you talked to her for five minutes and she was right back to herself again. I might not agree with your career, or your politics, or half of the things that come out of your mouth, but my daughter does. She loves you.”

Abe leaned forward. “Look, we’re not trying to tell you what to do. I’ve seen first-hand that that doesn’t work, where you’re concerned. But for the last few years, I’ve learned a lot about my daughter, and from every interaction with you, I’ve realised I still don’t know enough. You knew who she was from the day you met her, and I have to respect you for that. You’re good for each other, I can see that now.”

“So you’re… what? Telling me to propose?” Lenny asked.

He shook his head. “We’re just telling you that whatever obstacles there are between you and Midge, we don’t want to be one of them.”

“We wouldn’t say no.” Rose clarified.

“You’re. I’m sorry - you’re giving me your blessing?”  Lenny had the idle thought that perhaps he was tripping on acid or something, but he remembered looking for some the night before and coming up empty, so he knew this was actually happening. He kind of wished it was the drugs, if he was honest with himself.

Rose sipped her coffee. “If that’s what you need to call it.”

“Yes.” Abe said.

Lenny nodded again, brain whirring. He should be able to make a joke out of this. There had to be something funny about this entire situation, he knew there was, and any other day, he’d be able to make it into at least a fifteen minute routine, but in that moment, he had absolutely nothing.

Sometimes there's not enough to go around
And sometimes you end up lost before your found
And sometimes people leave you
And you don't know how to leave them
Sometimes you have to learn to make mistakes
And sometimes you have to give more than you take
Cause someday someone will show you the love that you deserve
Sometimes - Anthony Amorim

Midge avoided Lenny for two whole days. She spent time with her kids, and Joel and his parents, and even Mei - when she wasn’t travelling back to the city to keep an eye on the club - but the steadily growing anxiety in the corner of her brain was starting to become distracting. She still saw him in the mornings, ate with him at dinner, laughed about the residents of the resort with him, but she was making a conscious effort not to address her feelings.

And then on Thursday, somehow still taking her by surprise, Joel made it worse.

“Do you need me to talk to him?” He asked, feet kicked up on the ottoman in the living room of his catskills house, watching Ethan play with his toys while Midge attempted to convince Esther to eat something.

Midge frowned, glancing over at him. “Talk to who?”

“Lenny Bruce.”

“What? Why would you need to talk to Lenny? Have you even properly met him?”

“No, which I blame you for, by the way,” he joked, “but I just thought maybe I could… help out.”

“Help out?”

“With you.”

“Joel, you’re gonna have to be a lot more specific or start explaining this strange code you’re talking in. Are you a spy? Is this your way of telling me?”

He laughed, rolling one of Ethan’s toys back to him where it had fallen half under the couch. “I’m not a spy. But I have been sort of… spying. On you.”

“What?”

“Not like that, I just mean…” he winced, “I am really bad at this.”

“I agree, and I don’t even know what this is.”

“Look, I… I know you’ve got a thing for Lenny Bruce.” Joel said, and Midge froze. He noticed, but he powered through anyway. “I can see it, when he’s talking, even from across the dining hall in the evenings; I can see the way you look at him. I don’t wanna say you’re in love with him, but I think that’s more for my ego than anything else, because if you’re not, then I’m not convinced you were ever in love with me either because I know that look, Midge. You like him. He’s more than just a friend to you. But you haven’t said anything to me, which makes me think that someone should talk to the guy, tell him to make some kind of move. It’s kind of a miracle he hasn’t already, considering the way he looks at you-”

Midge abruptly got to her feet, eyes flicking to the clock on the wall. “Would you look at that - it’s getting late and I need to get ready for dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She kissed Ethan on the crown of his head and Esther on the cheek, and smoothed out the creases in her dress as looked for her handbag.

“Midge, hey, I’m not trying to upset you!” Joel said, scrambling to his feet. “I’m just saying-”

“Well, don’t.” She snapped. She was half-facing the door, avoiding his gaze. “It’s not your business.”

“Oh. I get it.”

“Get what?”

Joel was nodding, she could see it in the corner of her eye, like he was a dog picking up a scent. He was almost triumphant when he said, “It’s not his problem, it’s yours.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Midge grabbed her bag and made a beeline for the door, but her fingers had barely brushed the handle before Joel managed to ruin her quick escape.

“You know he’s in love with you, right?” Joel called after her, halting her in her tracks.

She spun around, anger flashing in her eyes - a warning shot. “I really don’t have time for this discussion right now, Joel, and definitely not with you.”

Apparently warning shots weren’t going to cut it, because Joel just sighed. “We’re friends, right?”

She gritted her teeth. “Yeah.”

“Then as your friend; I haven’t even been properly introduced to the guy, and I could tell he was in love with you from my first glance.”

“Joel, I’m telling you - leave it alone.”

He threw up his hands, exasperated. “You keep doing this! Every time you think things are going somewhere, you find a reason to walk away - Benjamin, Shy, Me - and now you’re doing it to Lenny.”

“I didn’t just walk away from the tour-”

“That’s not the point and you know it! You keep bailing when things look like they’re getting good, Midge.”

“I wonder why?!” She snapped. Joel’s mouth closed fast, and he looked hurt, like he’d been slapped, but she was tired of dancing around it. “Last time things were good, my husband left me, out of nowhere! I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t have a clue, I thought things were perfect. So why, do you think, would I run away every time things are going well? What would make me do that?”

“That’s not fair.”

“Well neither were you.”

He looked down at the floor, ashamed, and it didn’t make her feel any better. She turned on her heel and stormed from the room.

Goddamn
I've thrown a brick right through the window
My life ignored the signals
I am high and drunk on ego
Can't see straight
It’s Alright - Mother Mother

Lenny needed some space to clear his head. And maybe something chemical to muddle it again. He walked along the lakeside, avoiding the people, avoiding their glances, and tried to work out what he was supposed to do. Both of Midge’s parents knew about his feelings for her, and neither of them seemed to mind. It was confusing, to say the least.

He was hoping to spend time alone - and judging by the way most of the residents kept a ten foot berth, it wouldn’t be too hard to come by - but unfortunately he rarely got what he wanted. He stepped around a tree and came face to face with Midge’s doctor.

“Lenny Bruce.” He jerked his chin in greeting.

“Hello, Doctor,” he offered his own nod in return.

Benjamin frowned, looking around - for Midge, presumably. “What brings you to the lakeside?”

“Looking for a place to smoke.”

“You can smoke wherever you like.”

“Not that kind,” he leaned against the tree, twirling the joint deftly over his fingers, and Benjamin raised an eyebrow. Lenny pocketed it. “You gonna turn me in?”

“For what?” Benjamin said, impassive.

“That’s the spirit,” Lenny grinned, looking out over the water. “And what are you doing here? You don’t seem like the hiding type.”

“I come here to think.”

“Gets tiring having women follow you around all day, does it?”

“Something like that,” he laughed softly, and followed Lenny’s example, leaning against a nearby tree and facing him. “How about you?”

“Most of the people following me around are cops.”

“Funny,” Benjamin smiled in a way that was surprisingly genuine. “But you know what I mean - you didn’t just come over here to smoke, or you would have brought Midge. So what’s the deal?”

Lenny shrugged. “I got a lot on my mind.”

“Like being in love with Midge?”

He squinted, trying to come up with a lie, but he could tell by the doctor’s expression that there would be no point. “Among other things.”

“It wasn’t hard to figure out,” Benjamin said, “Lenny Bruce turns up in the Catskills, people talk. Plus you’ve spent all your time here with Midge and her parents. And I had my suspicions before, when we first met. You seemed… friendly. She told me nothing had happened, but just because it hasn’t doesn’t mean there isn’t the potential. I figured she invited you, that maybe you were planning on making your move here. Sucks about the timing though.”

A group of teenage girls came closer along the lakeside, and Benjamin jerked his chin towards the forest. Lenny shrugged an agreement, and they fell into step together, meandering idly through the trees. After a few minutes of silence, he realised that the doctor was still waiting expectantly.

He fiddled with his cufflink. “Midge didn’t invite me.”

“So what were you doing here; stopping in to see one of Midge’s gigs, or?” At Lenny’s raised eyebrow he shrugged. “The catskills don’t exactly strike me as your scene.”

He raised his hands, conceding the point, “You’re right, I have no idea why anyone would choose to be stuck in a place with their family and participate in mindless tasks and ridiculous dances with strangers. It’s sickening.”

“So? Why are you here?” Benjamin looked at him expectantly, like there was some kind of answer to the question that he was avoiding, despite not having any idea what that answer was supposed to be.

“Abe called me.”

“Oh oka- Abe called you?!”  Benjamin stopped in his tracks, turning to face him. “Abe Weissman?”

“How many other Abes are there in this place? Don’t answer that, I don’t wanna know. Yes, Abe Weissman.”

“But you’re, I mean,” Benjamin waved a hand, gesturing at all of Lenny’s person, “you’re Lenny Bruce. When I first met Midge her parents didn’t even know she did comedy and you’re telling me she introduced you to her parents.”

Lenny shook his head. “Couple years ago Abe saw a note I left for Midge about being in town and came to one of my gigs. Saw me getting arrested and tried to step in and we were both thrown in a cell. He bailed me out.”

Benjamin looked like his entire world was turning upside down. “Abe Weissman bailed out Lenny Bruce. I have no idea what to do with that information.”

“Join the club,” he said, bemusement crossing his face. “I do not understand that man. He practically told me I should date Midge. I mean… is he ill?”

“Is he dying?”  Benjamin asked in shock.

Lenny shrugged.

“I mean, he interrogated me, made me wait for what felt like years for his approval, but you he calls?” He shook his head. “I should have gone into comedy, then maybe I’d see the funny side of this.”

Lenny pulled the joint from his pocket and held it out. “This’ll help.”

Benjamin eyed it suspiciously for a second, before he took it, shaking his head. “It better.”

Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu'on me fait
Ni le mal, tout ça m'est bien égale
Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
C'est payé, balayé, oublié
Je m'en fou de passé
Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien - Edith Piaf

Friday went by far too fast for comfort. Abe had been watching the weird space unfolding between his daughter and Lenny Bruce for the last few days, and then Friday came around and he barely saw either of them at all. Even at breakfast, it felt like they were barely there for a few seconds before they disappeared to go over her routine for the night, like the awkwardness between them had vanished.

He knew it hadn’t, of course, that this was temporary until the gig was over and Midge would go back to avoiding Lenny and he would go back to silently pining, but he still held out a sliver of hope that one of them would do something.

It had been almost sweet, for a while, but he had long since lost his patience with the whole thing. Both of them were as bad as each other and he was tired of waiting for them to bridge the gap.

Finally, the hour rolled around when they were supposed to meet Midge at the venue before the actual gig, and Rose ushered him out the door with more enthusiasm than he’d ever seen her display for their daughter’s comedy career. He didn’t know whether it was the allure of TV producers or the hope that she could somehow nudge Lenny into making a move, but either way he was happy to see her so involved. Noah and Astrid were running late for reasons pertaining to Astrid that Abe had neither the attention span nor willpower to fathom, so they were the only two people in the giant ballroom when Susie appeared at the other doors.

“Hey, Weissmans!” She said, overly cheerful.

“You’re smiling.” Rose said.

“Yeah.” Susie raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t usually do that.”

She snorted. “Yeah, well, I don’t usually survive a heart attack and escape the hospital either, but some days are better than others. I’m back on my feet, Midge is doing a huge gig, Lenny Bruce has brought television people here, and I no longer have to eat vegetables. It’s a day for smilin’.”

“Actually, vegetables-” Rose lifted a hand, but before she could say anything more, Midge emerged from the wings and practically ran over.

She hugged Susie, and the woman pretended to be bothered by it even as she hugged her back. Abe really didn’t understand their dynamic, but he was happy to see Susie back to herself again, not to mention his daughter. This was a far cry from the night he’d had to call Lenny.

Speaking of, the man himself sauntered over, albeit more slowly than Midge, and clapped Susie on the back. “How was prison?”

She grinned. “Hell. How was Steiner?”

“Similar to prison.” He shot back, and Midge grinned at them both, looking brighter than Abe had seen in a long time. “I presume Midge told you about the-”

“Everything, she tells me everything.” Susie interrupted, already puffing her chest out, manager’s swagger returning in full force. “She performed her material over the phone for me last night, of course she told me about the producers. And I… I do appreciate it, Lenny.”

He waved a hand. “Don’t mention it. Seriously, don’t, you’ll give me a reputation I don’t want.”

“As a mensch?”

“As someone nice.” He faked a shudder. “God forbid.”

“You are nice.” Midge pointed out.

“That’s disgusting slander and I’ll thank you not to repeat it.” Lenny flashed a grin at her before turning back to Susie. “I assume you’ll wanna inspect the layout, make sure your star client is being treated to your standards?”

Susie nodded.

“Follow me,” Lenny did a funny little wave with his hand at his side and Susie fell into step with him as they walked over to the wings and out into the backstage area.

Midge looked over at Abe and he smiled nervously back, wanting to be reassuring but not sure how.

She gestured towards a table right near the front of the state. “This is for you guys, and Noah and Astrid, of course, when they get here, and Joel if he wants - front row seats or whatever the equivalent is.”

“Thank you.” Rose said, appraising her daughter. “I know it took me a long time to understand this, but regardless of whether I like it, I am proud of you, Miriam.”

Midge blinked rapidly and Abe was concerned she might cry, but she just pulled her mother into a hug and whispered, “Thanks, Mama.”

He cleared his throat. “The doors are opening soon, you better get backstage and prepare yourself.”

She pulled away from Rose and looked at him with a familiar expression - exasperated, but fond. “Alright Papa. See you after the show.”

“Good luck.” Rose called after her, and they watched her climb onto the stage where Susie was standing, surveying the area like a king surveying his kingdom.

Abe and Rose walked over to the table, and she got herself situated comfortably, glancing up at him when she realised he wasn’t in the seat beside her. “Abe?”

“I’m just going for a walk around the place, stretch my legs before the show starts and we have to stay put. I didn’t get my morning calisthenics in because of the rush, so it’ll do me some good to just do a few laps of the place.”

“Alright. But hurry back before the doors open or you’ll get stuck talking to people and I won’t see you all night.”

He nodded and paced away, travelling up one side, across the back, and down the other side of the auditorium, if that was the right word for it; it certainly felt glitzy enough. On his second lap, as he passed the stage once more, he caught the thread of something behind the curtains and paused, listening closer.

“I’m gonna screw it up.” Midge said, sounding oddly certain of herself.

“You’re not gonna screw it up.” Susie scolded. “You’re gonna do great.”

“But-”

“You’re fantastic, Midge, all tonight is is about showing that. Okay?” Midge must have nodded, because Susie clapped her hands together. “I have to see someone about lighting cues, but you’ve got her until I get back, don’t you Lenny?”

“Nope, don’t even think about it. Susie, there’s a seat for you at the table.” Midge said.

“What?”

“I’m so glad you’re back, but tonight everything is taken care of. For once, you can sit back and enjoy the show like everyone else.”

“You’re just doing this because you’re worried I’ll have another heart attack.”

“And because I love you,” Midge said fiercely, and Abe gave up on hovering and just pulled the curtain aside a little, enough to see it when she swept Susie into a hug. “You’re a brilliant manager, and I can’t wait to get back on the road with you, but just this once, just for tonight, you don’t have to be on top of everything. Also, we’re gonna work on you being on top of everything, because you’re clearly taking on way too much.”

“Not a chance.” Susie pulled away, a huge smile on her face.

Midge shrugged, grinning back. “It was worth a shot. Now go sit down, I’ve got this.”

Susie mock-saluted and left, crossing the stage and climbing down to go sit next to Rose. Abe looked back through the gap in the curtain in time to see Midge sag and Lenny step closer, concerned.

“I’m gonna screw it up.” She repeated.

“No you’re not; were you not listening to Susie? You’re amazing, you’re gonna do great.” Lenny said, earnest, steadfast, like he was listing off facts.

“What if this was all for nothing, what if you invited producers and I go out there and bomb?” Midge asked, a little more frantic that Abe was used to seeing her.

Lenny put his hands on her shoulders, stilling her. “You won’t.”

“But what if I do?”

“Then I’ll drag them to the next gig, and the next, until you’re sick of seeing them.” He joked, but with that edge to his voice that made Abe think he might just be serious. “It’d be a crime for a talent like yours to stay out of the spotlight any longer. And I should know, I’ve been arrested. For crimes. Many times. It’s almost a hobby, at this point.”

Midge laughed and flung her arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. Lenny stiffened in surprise, but quickly folded into it, tucking his chin into her neck. Abe took a step back, letting the curtain fall closed. It felt like too intimate of a moment to be intruding on.

He returned to the table, listening to the conversation Rose and Susie were having - which was mostly Rose lecturing Susie on the virtues of vegetables - and thought about the fact that without Rose in his life, he didn’t know where he’d be. He was a practical man, but deep down inside, he was a romantic, and when he looked at his daughter and Lenny Bruce, somehow he just knew that whatever they had, whatever they decided to do with it, it was special. Similar to the bond she had with Susie, although clearly distinct from it; and those bonds could never be broken.

After all the hardships of the last few years, that thought was a great comfort to him. One day, he wouldn’t be around to keep an eye on Miriam anymore, but he was safe in the knowledge that, no matter what, she would never be alone.

Found a girl who made my lungs hurt
If I feel much more, I'll fall apart
Gonna give it one more shot
Before I load the gun
Slow Down - James Marriott

Midge was uncharacteristically nervous and Lenny was uncharacteristically concerned.

He kept remembering the way she’d looked at him when he arrived in the Catskills, that lost look in her eye, and the way she’d insisted that everything had to stay the same.

He wondered if she had the same disease as him - the one that made him seek refuge in drugs and alcohol, the stubborn refusal to ever believe anything could go right for him, the panic that set in when things were going too well. Of course, he dealt with that by drinking or causing so much of a ruckus that he was thrown in a cell, always keeping the balance of the universe in check, but Midge didn’t seem used to success or failure, didn’t seem to like it when either end of the scales tipped too far.

She’d told him, hadn’t she? “I have gotten on stage for all the lowest moments of my life. It’s why I have a career.”

She funnelled every moment of failure in her life, whether her own or her husbands or her families, into her comedy. If she did all that, and then she failed at comedy, where would it leave her? He understood that fear.

Hadn’t found any remedy for it yet.

“You’re thinking too hard, considering this ain’t your gig.” Susie appeared at his side.

“You’re still backstage, considering you’re supposed to be sitting over there.” Lenny gestured vaguely towards the auditorium, which was beginning to look well and truly full now. It wasn’t much of a comeback, but as she’d pointed out, his mind was on other things.

“I’ll go over there once she’s on, I just have this thing, I have to be here when she goes out there first. I dunno why, gambler’s intuition or something, I don’t know, but I just feel better this way.”

He conceded the point. “Fair enough.”

“You’re in love with her.”

Lenny dropped his weight against the wall to his right, still just staring at the empty stage. “Is that relevant?”

“It’s important,” Susie said, looking at him funny, “it doesn’t have to be relevant, but it’s important.”

“She’s got her own shit to deal with, Susie, I’m not dragging her into mine.”

“What if she wants to be dragged into yours?”

“She doesn’t.”

“How would you know?”

“Because every time anything gets close to happening, she backs off. I understand, I just… I’m not gonna push it. If she ever wants me, I’m here, until then, I’m perfectly happy being her friend.”

“Her friend who pulls favours to get producers here.”

He finally dragged his gaze over to her, narrowing his eyes. “Is there a point you’re working up to, or can I go back to overthinking now?”

She folded her arms. “You told Midge that you were in town when Mr Weissman called.”

“I implied it.”

“You weren’t.”

“Hence the implication.”

“You were in California.”

He blinked. “How would you know that?”

“I’ve had a lot of time stuck in hospital, Lenny, there isn’t much else for entertainment there, but Lenny Bruce turning up in the Catskills on a dime? That’s something worth thinking about.” She was still wearing that expression, and he was beginning to realise that it was sympathy. It looked foreign on her face, but there it was. “It’s not hard to figure out where Lenny Bruce is, all you have to do is see where the police are-”

“Funny.”

“-plus you had gigs scheduled. Why didn’t you tell her?”

“She felt bad enough, I didn’t want her to feel guilty; I was looking for an excuse to take a break anyway. San Francisco hasn’t been my biggest fan for a while, and the rest of California is starting to agree. I wanted to come back to New York, and then Abe called, and all the reasons not to just… didn’t matter.”

“That’s a big deal.”

“It’s not.”

“Lenny,” she reached out to touch his arm, deadly serious, “that is a big deal.”

He ducked his head, hand coming up to cover his mouth. “It’s not about me. It’s about Midge. She needed someone, I’m her friend; why should it matter if I was in the area or not? I’m here now.”

“In a place that you hate, just because you wanted to take care of her.”

“Is this supposed to be some kind of pep talk, because I can tell you now, I am not feeling very pepped.”

Susie sighed. “I’m just saying, I know you think she doesn’t see it, but I promise you, she cares about you just as much.”

“I really wish people would stop telling me that.” Lenny muttered, just as the house lights went down and the announcer called Midge onto the stage to truly enthusiastic applause. She glanced into the wings as she walked on, flashing brief smiles at him and Susie before she turned back to the audience, game-face on as she pulled the mic from the stand and charged headfirst into her first bit.

Lenny had heard it all before, had gone over the material with her multiple times that day, but he still managed to be completely entranced by her. He was so caught up in the way she controlled the crowd, the way she strung the set-up along to hold out the joke for as long as possible before letting them laugh, the way she ad-libbed as ideas came to her, that he didn’t even notice when Susie slunk away to the table.

Midge made a risque dick joke and the audience erupted in laughter.

She was sensational.

Secrets have been brewing up a storm
Did not expect it to transform

Soaked up in my brain
For another day
These things I'm tryna say get drenched and swept away that's the truth
Soaked - BENEE

Midge stepped off the stage, out of breath and beaming, right into Lenny’s open arms, flinging hers around his shoulders and gasping excitedly into his ear.

“That was great, I’m fantastic, I’ve gotta get out of this dress and into something more comfortable, but that was really great, wasn’t it?” She rambled, stepping away from him and into the corridor, making a beeline for the dressing room, not even really realising that she had snagged his hand and was dragging him behind her until she was standing in the open doorway, looking back at him.

“I can wait out here.” He suggested.

She shrugged, pulling him inside, and he closed the door while she walked into the bathroom to get changed, shimmying out of her dress and reaching for the one she’d left earlier. She loved her black dresses for the stage, but she’d promised her parents she would have dinner with them and she didn’t plan on wearing it to wherever they went. The dress she’d hung on the back of the door was faded yellow, sensible, something her mother would approve of - ostensibly to offset whatever offence she may have caused her mother during the routine.

Lenny wasn’t talking, and Midge couldn’t think of anything to start a conversation through the door, so she tried to get dressed quickly, to shorten the period of awkward silence hanging between them.

All day, she’d been spending time with him, going over her routine, getting ready for the gig, and she’d managed it because there was something else to focus on, but now that it was done, she was right back to where she started on Thursday - staring down the barrel of her own feelings for him. Why couldn’t Joel have just left it well enough alone?

The worst part was that he was right.

She was ignoring it because she didn’t trust it when things got too good, too close to feeling perfect. And now that she couldn’t ignore it anymore, it was all she could think about. Lenny wasn’t perfect, and neither was she, and neither was the situation, but somehow, even starting it felt like too monumental a leap.

But… hadn’t she made more monumental leaps before? Hadn’t she uprooted her whole life to start this career? Hadn’t she carved out her own path, all this time?

She took a deep breath, looking at herself in the mirror.

“You’re pretty quiet in there, did you escape out the bathroom window or something?” Lenny asked, closer to the door than she expected. “I already checked for cops, the coast is clear.”

She laughed, moving back into the room and closer to him. “Sorry, I was just… thinking.”

“There’s a lot of that going around,” he mused, stepping away so she could cross the room and rummage through her purse for some lipstick.

She leaned over the counter, reapplying the red carefully, and watched him shift his weight, looking more restless than usual, even by Lenny’s standards. There was the same look on his face as the day in the boat, as the night they went dancing, as he wore sometimes when he thought she wasn’t looking. She knew what that look meant, she always had, but now she was looking at it with her own heart cracked open, and she couldn’t just ignore it anymore.

Especially not since she'd overhead him and Susie talking before she went onstage. 

He cared about her that much, and it scared her a little, but not as much as it used to. Now, it made her feel safe, and that was something she was going to want when things got crazy again. For now, everything was okay.

Susie was okay.

Her family was okay.

Her career was okay.

She had run out of excuses, and she’d run out of reasons to want excuses.

She didn’t need to hold back anymore.

“Whaddya think? How did I do?” Midge asked, whirling around to show him the lipstick and the dress, smoothing down the skirt habitually as she did. Lenny was leaning against the back of the dressing room door like he had all the time in the world. The faux relaxed expression might have fooled her if she didn’t know him, but she did. His hands were restless, and there was that anticipatory look in his eye, tinged with so much affection she felt she might burst.

He smirked at her. “You look great.”

“That’s not the important part of the question.”

“You know how you did, Midge.”

“I know.” She smiled. “But I always like hearing it from you.”

He blinked, smirk faltering for half a second before it widened into a grin. “Is that so? Well, I think you should learn some patience. Last time you extorted a whole night’s entertainment from me just so I’d tell you what I thought.”

“Extorted? That was bribery - you dragged me along all night because you knew I was waiting for you to tell me.”

He bobbed his head in some vague approximation of a nod, pushing off the door. “What sort of extortion are you planning this time?”

“Depends - what are you bribing me with?” She asked, and she realised that he was only a few feet from her now and she hadn’t even noticed him moving, too busy volleying wit back and forth, too focussed on the way his gaze caught hers and held it.

“I need you to do me a favour,” he took a step closer.

She took a step back. “I thought you said you weren’t a fan of favours any more?”

He took another step, nodding thoughtfully. “I’m not, when I’m the one doing the favour. If they’re being done for me, of course, I have no protests.”

“You’ve let fame get to you,” she joked, as the backs of her thighs hit the dressing room table. Something about this moment felt different to their usual banter, charged, like something important was about to happen. “What’s the favour?”

“After I do this, I need you to pinch me,” he said, gaze flicking between her eyes and her lips.

“Do what?” she asked, barely an inch between them.

And he closed the gap. He kissed her, soft, tentative, like he wasn’t sure what he was doing, like it was his first time, and his hand lifted to her cheek, holding her like he was scared she’d pull away. She did the opposite, swaying closer, arching her back so she could press herself against him, and his right hand joined the first, cupping her face to steady them as he deepened the kiss. She realised she was fiddling with his jacket for something to hold onto, like she wasn’t sure if she could touch him, but this was Lenny and she wanted to run her hands over every part of him and there was no reason to hold back now. She slid her hands up the hems and around his elbows to keep him right where she wanted him, pinching the back of his arm through the material.

“Ow,” he deadpanned into her mouth, and she giggled against his lips, wanting this to last.

So of course that was when he pulled back - not far, still pressing her against the edge of the table - just enough to appraise her pensively.

“Too much?” she asked, about the pinch.

“Never gonna be enough,” he answered, not about the pinch.

“Lenny,” she breathed, unfairly affected by the words. That didn’t stop her reaching for the joke though. “Who told you it was possible to have enough of something?”

“My mother, my ex-wife, my drug dealer,” he listed off, shrugging as his palms slid down her neck to her arms, stroking absentmindedly from shoulder to elbow. She smiled at his joke the way he’d done hers, but she couldn’t come up with a suitably witty response like she always could. Instead she blinked at him, taking in his eyes, his lips, the way he was standing, like he was coiled to run away. He looked as wired as he did tired. He looked like he was itching to cover his mouth. “Midge?”

She snapped her gaze back to his eyes. “Yes?”

“You’re staring.”

“You’re very famous,” she teased.

“And yet you don’t usually stare this much.”

“You don’t usually kiss me,” she pointed out.

“Don’t I?” Lenny tilted his head, making the gap between them shorter once more. “That’s an enormous oversight on my part. I should be doing it all the time. Why aren’t I?”

“Beats me.”

When he kissed her the second time, it was less nervous than the first, arms dropping to her waist to hold them together as he moved his lips against hers. She relaxed into him, releasing her grip on his elbows so she could throw her arms around his shoulders, pushing her fingers into the curls at the base of his neck. She had no idea why she’d been trying to ignore the space between them for so long because closing it was driving her wild. Her heart was thrumming in her chest and she felt it all the way to her toes. Luckily, he seemed to be just as affected, just a little frantic with it like he was scared she was going to pull away again. Not likely.

“God, you’re like-” but he couldn’t think of which drug, which intoxicating high, to compare her to. It was just her, it was so her, and he had no idea how he was going to go back to walking around normally now that he knew what this was like. He was never going to be able to stop thinking about it.

“Like what?” Midge asked between kisses, distracted but not enough to let it go.

“All of it,” he said nonsensically, palm sliding up her spine and tangling in her hair. And it didn’t make sense as an answer but she understood him anyway like she always had, and she kissed him harder. He gasped against her lips, surprised, and surged forward - closer.

The movement shifted her back against the table and she bent her knees and went with it until she was sitting on top of it with Lenny between her legs, every inch of their bodies pressed against each other. She gasped into his mouth and he smiled, and it was perfect and she was going to lose her mind, and-

“Oh my god, finally!”  Susie’s voice cut through the moment like a heart attack during a comedy routine. “I thought I was going to have to lock you in here myself.”

Lenny dropped his head into the crook of Midge’s neck and said, “Oh good, Susie's here,” directly into her collarbone.

“Hey Susie.” Midge ran her hands up his back and grinned at her manager over his shoulder. Even her rude interruption couldn’t ruin her mood, because Lenny still hadn’t let go of her, and the fact that Susie was even still standing there was enough of a reason to celebrate on its own, and she was kind of worried that she was going to pull a muscle in her face from smiling so hard. “How did I do?”

“Seriously?” Susie raised an eyebrow. “I catch you making out like teenagers backstage and your first thought is to ask me what I thought of your act?”

Midge nodded.

Susie kept the stern act up for a few seconds longer before she deflated. “It was great, Midge, really, it was almost perfect.”

“Almost?”

“Gotta keep you on your toes, don’t I?” She grinned. “You gonna come out of there anytime soon, Lenny?”

“No thanks.” His voice was muffled against Midge’s neck. “I think I’ll just die here.”

“Fair enough.” Susie tapped her foot. The awkwardness in the room was starting to ratchet up a little, and Midge still hadn’t caught her breath yet. Susie lifted her head like she’d heard something and leaned back out into the corridor. “Your parents are coming. Do you want me to send them away? I could make some kind of excuse, tell them you fell down a well or something.”

“No, it’s fine. I promised to have supper with them anyway, to thank them for coming, or apologise for what they had to see, depending on what they thought.” Midge said.

Lenny finally straightened but he didn’t go far, keeping his arm wrapped around Midge’s waist as he turned to face Susie - she’d gotten changed since the last time they saw her, which was presumably Rose’s doing and probably why she’d taken so long to turn up; she was now in a slightly more dressed up version of her usual attire, and her hair was pulled back more neatly than usual. Lenny tilted his head at her. “You look good out of hospital robes.”

“Thanks.” Susie deadpanned. “You look good in lipstick.”

He cursed and reached for the cloth near the sink, wiping the smudged red off his lips just in time for Abe and Rose to appear. If they noticed how close the two of them were standing, they didn’t say anything, they simply beamed proudly at Midge.

“That was wonderful.” Rose said, and it actually sounded genuine.

Midge blinked. “Really?”

She laughed, placating. “Of course, dear. Come on, we’re having a celebratory dinner at home. I hope you don’t mind, I invited everyone.”

“What does everyone mean?” She asked, eyeing her mother suspiciously.

“Just go with it, Miriam, there’s no stopping your mother when she’s organising a party.” Abe sighed.

“A party?”

“It’s not a party, it’s just a gathering of some of our friends and family in the living room, over drinks and cake.” Rose waved a hand dismissively.

“So a party.” Susie said.

Rose turned up her nose and walked from the room, in a way that heavily implied they were supposed to follow, and Abe suppressed a long-suffering sigh and reached for his daughter as they passed. Midge let herself get pulled away from Lenny slightly, although his hand stayed on her waist, and looked at her father. Abe was wearing a softer expression than she was used to seeing on his face, and he smiled and patted her arm, kissing her on the cheek. “I just want you to know how proud of you I am. I know I don’t say it often, but it’s always true, even when you’re not trying to.”

Midge felt like her heart was swelling comically, and she wondered if she could work that into a routine. She put the thought aside and hugged her father, short, but genuine. “Thank you.”

The four of them headed out into the corridor where Rose was waiting haughtily at the end, and Midge let Lenny drape his jacket around her shoulders as they reached the outside door. He squeezed her arms as he let go, and she caught one of his hands as it trailed away, tangling their fingers together.

“How many people are coming to this party?” Lenny asked conversationally.

“it’s not a party.” Rose tutted.

“Noah and Astrid, Joel, Mei, and the kids, and us.” Abe listed off. “As long as no-one else has been added to the guestlist since the last time I asked.”

Lenny stepped closer into Midge’s side and whispered. “How bothered do you think your mother would be if we didn’t show up?”

“We’d never be forgiven.” Midge said, but the thought had crossed her own mind as well. Susie’s assessment that they were acting like teenagers wasn’t wholly incorrect - she was genuinely considering sneaking out of her parents house in the Catskills to go make out with her boyfriend. Was he even her boyfriend? That word didn’t feel right somehow. Which was also pretty highschool of her.

Lenny huffed, but there was a smile playing at his lips when he tugged her closer with their joined hands and pressed a fleeting kiss to her temple. “Guess we’ll have to put up with it then.”

We're making money but we're saving it
'Cause talking shit is cheap and we talk a lot of it
Let’s Fall In Love For The Night - FINNEAS

The party - which it was - was a comfortable affair, everyone crammed into the living room while Rose cut pieces of cake and placed them delicately onto nice plates and music played from the record player in the corner. Lenny wasn’t great with keeping things above board at parties, largely because the kind he usually went to didn’t require him to watch his mouth, but Midge was amazing at them.

Not a surprise; Midge was good at most things.

His strategy was to stay quiet unless deliberately called on, which worked out well because most of the people were there to celebrate Midge anyway, and the novelty of seeing Lenny Bruce in the Weissman house had long since worn off. It was kinda nice, actually. Not getting ogled. Seeing Midge happy. Eating cake.

“You’re gonna treat her right?” Noah sat down in the space Midge had just vacated to help her mother pour more wine.

Lenny cut his gaze across to the man, questioning.

“Midge, I mean, you’re gonna take care of her? Because I might not be able to take you in a fight, but I work for the CIA and if I want to get rid of you, it would only take a call.”

“Leave him alone, Noah,” Midge said, not even bothering to pretend she wasn’t eavesdropping as she handed Lenny a glass of scotch and perched on the arm of the couch, resting her hand behind him. “Besides, you’re not allowed to do that, that would be abusing your privilege. You’d get locked up.”

“You’re my baby sister, if anything happens to you, it’s my job to-”

“Let me take care of myself?” She suggested, and Lenny couldn’t help the smile that overtook his face.

“Don’t interrogate the man, let’s just enjoy the party!” Astrid flounced over, smiling at her husband.

“Not a party.” Rose said, and Joel and Mei shared a look.

“Ethan, go play with your Uncle Noah,” Joel said, nudging Ethan towards the couch and handing him a toy truck as he went.

Noah shook his head at them. “That’s just plain evil. Midge, your ex-husband is using your son against me, are you really going to stand for this?”

Midge flashed a grin. “Anyone wanna wake Esther, see if she wants to talk to Uncle Noah?”

He deflated, laughing, and scooped Ethan into his lap, admitting defeat and allowing the kid to distract him while Astrid turned and started talking Abe’s ear off about something.

Lenny looked around at all of them, at the way they all talked to one another, at the constant smiles and laughter bubbling up around the room, and he felt strangely content, which was not a feeling he was used to. He watched Susie talking to Mei about their experiences running clubs, watched the way Joel offered to help Rose bring out some food from the kitchen, watched Abe’s polite exasperation at Astrid’s neverending conversation, and his eyes finally travelling back around to Midge, who was looking down at him with a soft smile on her face.

“You okay?” She asked, almost conspiratorial, and leaned in, propping herself up on the back of the couch with her elbow so she could curl closer to him without touching him.

He leaned his head back against her arm and looked up at her. “I just can’t think of anything funny to say.”

She beamed, eyes crinkling in the corners. “It’s kind of nice, isn’t it?”

“With you? Always.” And despite the light tone of voice, and the half-smirk on his lips, he had never been more serious about anything in his life.

I know
Nothing good lasts forever
But nights with you are better
So go slow
Angel - FINNEAS

Midge had been stargazing, or some approximation of it, with exactly three men in her life. Her father, Joel, and Benjamin. She liked stargazing, liked the reminder that she was a tiny part of the grand scheme of the universe, liked watching the comets and the constellations and forgetting about all her earthly problems.

The fourth time she tried stargazing with a man, she found it to be an incredibly frustrating experience, largely because, for the first time, she could not care less about the stars if she tried.

It had been over a week since Susie returned from hospital, since the Big Gig, since Lenny kissed her in the dressing room. It was an unspoken thing now that they were some kind of couple although neither of them had broached the topic in conversation yet. They kept finding stolen moments to kiss between Susie’s new vigour for going over routines with every spare second of Midge’s time and fielding phone calls between her and the producers who were falling over themselves to get her booked for television gigs once they returned to the city. Not to mention the many outings Rose and Abe were suddenly insistent on every second day; it seemed to become harder than ever for them to find time with just the two of them.

Lenny even spent a day with Midge, Joel and the kids, entertaining them and getting to know Midge’s ex-husband. He still didn’t really see what she saw in him, but he liked her kids, and that was more than enough for her. Joel pulled her aside while Lenny was telling a - blessedly kid-friendly - story to Ethan. He wanted beg for forgiveness for trying to push her into anything, and to reiterate his apology for leaving her, and she apologised for being so harsh when all he had wanted to do was help. She couldn't stay angry at him for not knowing something, especially when he was so clearly trying to make up for it.

When they returned to the living room, Lenny's hand ended up on the small of her back and it didn't move for the rest of the afternoon. 

Noah still kept trying to subtly square up to him, but it seemed to be mostly part of some running joke now, and he and Lenny got on surprisingly well, and Lenny even indulged Astrid better than half the family, listening to her when she rambled and offering polite - and only half-joking - advice.

Which brought them to the stargazing.

There was some kind of meteor shower happening, so everyone and their mother was out on blankets dotted around the green - including her parents, which was part of where her frustration was coming from. Her parents being out here meant that the house was empty, which meant that they finally had the perfect opportunity to hook up, and yet for some reason they were out here with everyone else. She tried to focus on the stars but she kept getting distracted by the thought of the big empty house by the lake.

Lenny, however, seemed fascinated by them in the same way she usually was, and his fascination rubbed off on her enough to stop her from just dragging him over there by force. He hunkered down, eyes skyward, and mouth running a mile a minute as he talked about the stars, pointing things out and telling a few stories that were so lewd that she couldn’t decide if they were actual greek myths or ones he’d made up. Where greek mythology was concerned, that was a coin toss. She lay down next to him, looking up at the clear sky full of lights and waiting for the meteor shower with everyone else, while she laughed at his ridiculous explanations for the stars and tangled her fingers with his.

She could do this.

His thumb absentmindedly stroked back and forth over her own while he talked, and she swallowed her desire to jump his bones. They were in public. They were in the Catskills. There were probably children present - although if there were, it was definitely too late for them to be out and that was irresponsible parenting - and regardless of anything else, she didn’t want him to think she was just with with him for sex. She loved listening to him talk, more than almost anyone else. But god, she could really go for some sex.

It had been a while and she was frustrated and being pressed up against him really wasn't helping. 

She looked at the stars even harder, trying to push the thought from her mind. This was supposed to be fun, maybe even a bit romantic, and she was ruining it with her own horny brain. It didn’t even make sense, she’d never been like this with Benjamin, she’d been happy to take things slow, but one kiss from Lenny and suddenly she couldn’t wait to tear their clothes off.

Fuck the comets for choosing that night to show up. And fuck Lenny for being so great. And fuck herself for thinking about sex at a time like this. There was a cosmic miracle about to happen and she couldn’t get her mind out of the gutter, let alone out of the atmosphere.

Midge sighed.

Lenny went quiet, story trailing off, and she chanced a glance at him to find he was lying, propped on his elbows, staring up at the night sky with a pensive look on his face.

She made up her mind, turning so that she was in his lap, straddling him, and he looked up at her with some measure of amusement, eyes flickering to her lips and back. “Just what do you think you’re doing, Mrs Maisel? This is a tidy establishment and I am a nice Jewish boy. We’re supposed to be stargazing. Are you trying to take advantage of me in this wholesome place? I’m scandalised.”

“I’m sure,” she leaned down until her hands were propping her up beside his elbows, face hovering inches from his.

“You’re blocking the stars,” he said.

“Am I?” Midge asked innocently.

“Yeah,” he said, but it was tinged with the smile on his lips as he rose the last few inches to kiss her, and she couldn’t help but smile back, making the kiss messier as they both tried to keep their growing laughter under control.

When she lifted her head again, he watched her push her hair back behind her ear.

“Do you think we’ve offended the housewives enough yet?” Lenny asked.

“Probably,” she admitted, gaze darting to his lips again. “But I don’t see why that should stop us.”

A woman on one of the nearby blankets tutted disapprovingly, and a couple on the other side huffed, equally as loud and disdainful.

Lenny chuckled. “I think maybe we should cool it. We don’t wanna get kicked out of here; it might boost my image, but it’s not going to do anything for yours. Besides, there are stars to watch.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be making me a star?” she tried, flirtatious, and he chuckled and ran his fingers through her hair where it kept falling into her face, tucking it back behind her ear again.

“I’m not making you anything, you’re doing it all on your own. Besides, you’re saying that like I haven’t been watching you for years now,” he said pointedly. “It’s not my fault you weren’t paying attention.”

She huffed and rolled off him, intending to shuffle back to her original place on the blanket, but he caught her around the waist and pulled her back, tucking her against his side. She snuggled in closer, feeling his lips pressed behind her ear when he turned his head in closer. “I was paying attention. I just… wasn’t ready.”

He didn’t reply, he just kissed her hair.

Little bursts of light started darting across the sky, and gasps scattered across the crowd, and Midge stared up at them, reminding herself of how small she was in the universe. For the first time, she really felt like the person she was with was doing the same. She relaxed further into his arms, staring up into the stars long after the comet shower was over.

Lenny’s hand was tracing shapes on her waist, restlessness contained to just that place, fingers drawing, or writing, or maybe just stroking aimlessly, and she could live in that moment forever. It wasn’t until she caught the end of Pauly’s announcement that she zoned back in.

“Wait, what did he just say?” Midge asked.

“Apparently there’s fireworks.” Lenny mumbled, nosing against her hair distractedly.

“The house is empty.” She blurted out. Thankfully her outburst was quiet enough that only one couple tutted that time.

Lenny lifted his head to look at her. “Your parents-”

“Got trapped by Moishe ten minutes ago, they’re stuck for at least the next hour.” She blinked over at him. “And Joel has the kids. Susie is talking to that producer guy. So this might be our only chance until we’re back in the city.”

“I don’t know, I’m pretty happy out here.” He said dryly.

She raised an eyebrow, getting to her feet and bringing his hand up with her. “You coming?”

He resisted for a few seconds, looking up at her with that expression that made her lose punchlines and fumble setups. “You are a menace, Midge Maisel.”

“You love it.” She grinned as he stood up, arms wrapping around her waist as they stumbled their way back towards the cabin.

“Apparently.” Lenny deadpanned, and she laughed, loud and bright in the night air, a few scattered tuts rising from people on blankets around them, but she didn’t care. They finally reached the door of the house, and she was fumbling for her keys in her purse and his lips were pressed behind her ear and his hands were on her hips, waiting patiently, and then he said, “You don’t want me to call you a cab?”

He said it to give her an out. Even after everything they’d been through, all of it, he was still waiting for her to say no, still giving her the space to make her own decisions, still willing to walk away the second she said so. And that was one of the reasons she loved him so goddamn much.

“No. I’m good right here.” Midge said, unlocking the door.

Did we look like lovers or partners in crime?
Did you look like mine?
Or did we look like fools
Tryna get away with it all?
Thinkin' we'd be saved by a call
From each other
We were on the same boat
Partners In Crime - FINNEAS