Work Text:
Dan can tell that Phil is more tired than he’s actually willing to admit. Phil may love dragging out his birthday as long as possible, but it does mean more socialization that either of them ever really contends with. Even with people they love, like tonight when they went out with Martyn and Corn for drunk VR games.
“Not too too drunk,” Phil had insisted. “Don’t wanna turn green… again…”
A drink cap doesn’t stop Dan from feeling warm. Just the two that he had while they were out and the nightcap he poured himself once they were back home is enough to do that. Phil’s tired smile from the sofa is telling Dan he’s feeling the same. He notes it as he walks over from the kitchen, Phil’s long body spread across the cushions, his hands folded over his stomach, eyes watching Dan that are creased at the corners from years of laughter.
“Is there anything Corn isn’t good at?” Phil asks when Dan sits. He moves his head into Dan’s lap and Dan gets his fingers into Phil’s quiff which has given up the day’s fight against gravity despite all the sea salt spray.
“You know she was holding back because of your birthday too,” Dan laughs. “We should bequeath her the gaming channel.”
Phil hums and closes his eyes and stretches his neck a little to nudge his head closer to Dan’s fingers. Dan looks down at him and can’t help the twinge in the palm of his hands at the sight. Maybe he’s sappy because of the wine. Maybe he’s sappy because of Phil’s four-thousandth birthday celebration, and the way Martyn smiled and teasingly called him “the worst brother-in-law ever” when Dan ribbed him for not being able to handle the VR immersion, and because Phil leaned over in the backseat of the car they took home to kiss Dan’s dimple which he just never would have done before this year even with as dark and rainy as the world outside the windows was.
“So you have two more celebrations left,” Dan says. Two more that are already planned, leastways. He doesn’t put it past Phil to try for one more cake opportunity. “But so far, how are we ranking birthday 33?”
Phil cracks open one eye. “Good. Really good. Best ever?”
Dan smiles. In a lot of ways, it feels like the best ever. He agrees with that. In a lot of ways, so much has finally slotted into place. They’ve been happy always, for years and years the life they built together has been good. But there was always an undercurrent. Things they had to face but really, really couldn’t bear too. Many things— the long distance and Dan’s depression and the great uncertainty of their careers and Phil’s anxiety and the constant reality of being closeted and Phil’s father’s illness and Dan’s family breaking apart and the world around them being big and terrifying and too much to look at in the eye.
There are still things to bog them down even now. There’s always going to be. Dan knows that’s just how things are, knows that’s just life…
But fuck, right now feels really good. Right now feels lighter, even with the weight of Phil’s massive head in his lap.
Dan moves his fingers from Phil’s hair and traces the curve of Phil’s nose instead. “If you think you can stay awake for one episode, I’ll let the birthday boy pick the show.”
“You can’t tease me for being spoiled when you’re the one spoiling me, Howell,” Phil laughs. He turns on his side, facing the television. “Maybe Lost?” he says. “Been a while.”
It has been a while. Despite Phil’s proclivity for a bi-annual Buffy rewatch, Dan hasn’t pushed for the show he was so obsessed with he actually did some work on it’s Wikipedia page. The general sappiness he was feeling is turned up to eleven, with memories of watching the show’s finale on the phone together, buzzing at the anticipation of their upcoming Portugal trip and lamenting the few days apart they were suffering through.
Dan stands, and Phil pouts about losing his pillow even though it was his idea. He grabs the boxset of the first season and asks Phil, “Pilot?”
“Obviously,” Phil laughs. “We’re doing this right.”
When they rearrange themselves back on the couch while the DVD menu plays old familiar music and the crowded cast of characters flash by, Dan is sat up and leaning in the crook of the sofa’s arm with his legs out along the cushions. Phil is laying with his head against Dan’s chest and his legs between Dan’s. He yawns when Dan presses play and snuggles his face into the soft fabric of Dan’s fuzzy jumper. He uses his toes to kick off his socks, and Dan bites back the scold he wants to give so badly when they fall to the floor. Birthday month rights, and all that.
Phil promises he won’t fall asleep. Dan knows he doesn’t stand a chance.