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“Marinette? Have you ever been on a date?”
Jumping at the question that pierced the silence of her room, Marinette twisted her body to stare at the boy on her lounge.
Chat was upside down, legs draped over the head of the lounge and arms hanging off the side. His torso was turned almost ninety degrees at the hip and Marinette had to stifle a laugh at the position.
She couldn’t help but sputter a question in response. “Isn’t that uncomfortable?”
When he cocked his head slightly, looking appropriately like an overgrown cat, she lost the battle and giggles filled the previously quiet atmosphere. Chat pouted while she clutched at her stomach and gasped for air.
“I like it,” he muttered back, and Marinette doubled over.
It took several moments before she could regain her breath. Marinette leaned back in her chair, stretching overused stomach muscles before attempting to stand.
She slipped over to where Chat had brought his arms over his chest, lip sticking out. Threading her fingers into his soft hair, she smiled sweetly to reassure him. She sank to the floor in front of him.
“Sorry, Chat. You just look so very much like your namesake, I couldn’t help it. You’re too cute.”
He perked up at the attention instantly. Chat’s ears stood on end, fluttering when she brushed them lightly. An almost inaudible purr rumbled through the room and Marinette took her time finding all the spots she knew turned him into putty.
Chat’s eyes closed quickly, and he tilted his head into her hands. He managed to speak through the purr once more, not to be deterred by the feel of her hands on his scalp.
“So, tell me, Princess. Have you ever been on a date?”
Marinette sighed, removing her hands from Chat’s head. “Chat, why do you want to know? You’d think you would want to know less about my dating life, not more.”
Chat sat up, brushing a hand through his hair roughly and causing it to stick up on one side. He stood, noisily breathing through his nose and pacing the floor.
“LB, ever since finding out who you are, I’ve wanted to know everything about you. It doesn’t matter if it makes me sad, I want to know you.” He stopped in the middle of the floor and held his hands out, pleading written into every line of his body.
Marinette brought her body up to a crouch only to sink back onto the lounge. She pursed her lips, staring back with a slight frown.
“Okay. Yes, I have had a few dates.”
Chat nodded stiffly, waving for her to continue.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Chat. None of them were really any good. A few of them were pretty painful, and the double dates were the worst part because then there’s an audience to the terrible.” Marinette waved one hand around, hoping for nonchalant.
Chat snorted. “Come on, Bug, what’s the worst that could have happened? You trip and slam into the person?”
Marinette felt her face heat up and she quickly turned away from his smirking face.
“That only happened twice. In one date.”
Chat cackled loudly, grabbing at his own stomach and completely ignoring Marinette’s blush. He dropped onto the chaise next to her, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back.
“Okay, so you’ve only had terrible dates then. If I tell you my worst date will you tell me yours?”
“Not a chance, Chat.”
Chat leaned forward, claiming her hands and pulling the kitten eyes out. Marinette stiffened, understandably expecting the begging storm that was about to hit.
“Ladybug. My Lady. Bugaboo.” She tried to cover her eyes, but Chat held tight to her hands. “Buginette. Bug. Come on.”
“Noooooo, Chat,” she whined, trying in vain to tear her eyes away from his adorable face.
“Please Mari. Maribug. Please. Don’t leave me hanging. You’ve piqued my interest. I’ll die if I don’t know.”
Marinette groaned and dropped her head to her chest.
Why can’t I say no when he does that?
“Fine.”
Chat dropped her hands, leaping to his feet with a whoop and dancing around the room while Marinette took the opportunity to finally cover her face with both hands.
Chat slipped back onto the chaise and wiggled into a comfy position once again.
“Okay. My worst date. I was expected to escort someone to this event. She-“
“No names, Chat.”
“Yeah, I know, Bug. I haven’t forgotten you don’t want to know who I am yet. Interrupting is rude, you know.”
Marinette stuck her tongue out in protest.
“So she was expecting it to be this super romantic affair, I was expecting to have someone to talk to at this dumb thing. Her mother is in politics and kind of important. And well. She has a bit of leverage to make sure she gets to spend time with me in the public eye.”
Marinette raised an eyebrow and Chat waved it off.
“Not super important. But I do what I’m supposed to. I take her to a fancy meal before the event. I pay. I hold my arm out so she doesn’t trip on the ridiculously long dress she’s wearing, all the stuff.”
Marinette leaned back on her own palms, smiling a bit at the reminder of what a gentleman Chat is even when he’s only doing what’s expected of him.
“I made it very clear before we went that this was not a date, mind you. I wasn’t going to lead her on or anything. So when she demanded a dance, I did the polite thing and told her one would be fine. It did not occur to me that she picked a romantic ballad type thing and that she might try to kiss me at the end of it.”
A grimace rose unbidden to Marinette’s face and Chat nodded wryly.
“Yeah. So I quietly tell her no, and she says something about not having a choice on a date like this-“
“What in the world, Chat?” Marinette yelled, prompting Chat to glare.
“Interrupting. And when she goes in for a kiss again, I panicked and shoved her a little bit. She ended up falling into the punch bowl behind her and I had to pay for the dress.”
Marinette burst out laughing, delighted to hear about the pushy girl getting what she deserved. Chat grinned widely, eyes sparkling deviously.
“Oh my god, Chat. Beautiful.”
“Your turn, My Lady. Worst date. Go.”
Marinette sighed, knowing she’d have to tell the story eventually.
It’s really only fair, his is kind of worse anyway.
“So this was a double date. Nathaniel set it up. He and Marc were going together and I was paired with Luka. Nath shipped us pretty hardcore at the time and he was super excited when I finally said yes.”
Chat nodded, eyes narrowing only slightly.
“We decided to meet at a bowling alley, then go for dinner and a movie. Nobody had any movie preferences so we were just going to wing it. The bowling part was fine, I like bowling well enough and none of that was super memorable except Nath and I had to pay because Luka’s card did something weird and declined.”
Chat’s eyebrows raised and he opened his mouth to speak. Marinette booped his nose before he could.
“Interrupting, Kitty.” She lit up as he frowned at her dramatically.
“Anyway. We went to the pizza place and decide to only get one pizza. Luka fixed his card, he’s gonna pay, everything’s fine. Except none of us could decide what we want.”
“I want extra cheese, Nath wants pepperoncini, Marc can’t handle spicy and doesn’t understand that they’re pickled, and Luka only wants pepperoni. So we spend twenty minutes trying to figure out how to split pizza toppings.”
Chat snorted, prompting Marinette to glare at him.
“It was only fourteen inches diameter and the clerk stared at us like we all had three heads and it was a complete disaster when they put all the toppings on the entire pizza and the thing stuck in the oven and burned so badly they had to use a new oven for the next one.”
Chat leaned back, laughing hysterically at her. Marinette’s eyes narrowed and she shoved him off the chaise. The laughing didn’t stop.
When he’d climbed back onto the lounge, chuckling, Marinette folded her arms across her chest. He waved for her to go on.
“So then we had ten minutes to get to the movie and we still didn’t know what we wanted. While we ate, we tried to figure out what was playing. We eventually decided on this action movie that seemed interesting. So we walk over there, get our tickets, and sit down.”
Marinette inspected her nails, knowing what was coming and avoiding Chat’s eyes for the next part.
“The first couple of minutes were fine. Some violence. It’s in Italian and subtitled and we’re all enjoying it a bit.”
She covered her face.
“And then the intimate scenes started.”
Chat sat up, delight painted on his features. “You didn’t.”
“We did. We absolutely failed to check for any sort of adult scenes and it was absolutely packed with them. They were every ten minutes and we were all sinking into our seats, nobody making eye contact with each other.”
Chat fell off the chaise on his own this time and Marinette left him there. She sped through the rest of the story, praying she could just get through it and never have to tell it again.
“And then we very quietly left and have never spoken of it again,” came out much more muffled when she buried her face in her palms once more.
He cackled hysterically until she kicked him out of her room.
She waved from the balcony, still grinning as she watched Chat leap across rooftops toward his home.
Wait. Didn’t Adrien accidentally push Lila into a punch bowl last month at a gala?