Chapter Text
The evening of your coronation was the last nail in the coffin.
The grand hall was decorated lavishly. Hues of blue (your favorite color) were splendidly spread throughout the place. Your lovely aqua gown truly made you look like a queen. This was your destiny, your fate. You were born to rule your land and you were to do so with poise and passion.
You kept telling yourself that throughout the entire night. Even when you spared glances at him, even when your heart sunk when you noticed the longing in his eyes, you never stopped convincing yourself that it was your duty.
You remembered the conversation you had with Minghao the previous night. The two of you laid in bed, your bare figures hugging one another closely. You listened to Minghao's steady heartbeat and wondered if it was the last time you would be in such close proximity to him.
"I don't want to be queen." You bluntly murmured, as if you were talking about the weather. You felt Minghao freeze beneath your fingertips. It was the first time one of you had mentioned your inevitable fate in a long time.
Minghao got up and started to dress. The bed suddenly felt cold without his presence. You subconsciously reached out to his then empty side of the bed.
"That is not a choice you were blessed with." Minghao spat, anger coiling up in him. The shock of his tone was like an icy wave of water, and you did not welcome the foreign feeling one bit. You swallowed, your mouth dry.
"I am so, desperately in love with you." You croaked after a thick silence. You were out of breath from your heart's swift rate. You wanted nothing but to run away with Minghao and live with him in solidarity.
"And I love you just the same. But you're going to be Queen, and I'm just a poor boy who works in the castle."
"I cannot be Queen." You uttered shakingly, but Minghao wasn't having any of it.
"You must."
You sighed. The entire event was much too prestigious for you; the grand lights and musicians of the highest talent in your presence. You were going to be crowned Queen quite soon, the golden crown would seal your fate.
You could not breathe. Minghao's glances were suffocating you.
You were going to be Queen and you were going to do it without him. Without the love of your life.
You were about to run outside until a familiar face tapped you on the shoulder. You turned around and were face-to-face with the dashing Wen Junhui. You would smile if it were under any other circumstance.
"Hello, Junhui."
Junhui was your childhood best friend. The Wen family were of high nobility, and they dwelled in the castle. You and Junhui were destined to meet, just like you were destined to become Queen.
"Hello, Your Majesty." He took your hand and kissed it lightly and bowed elegantly. You smiled emptily.
You missed Minghao's burning glare when Junhui's lips reached your skin. You missed the way he almost ran over to the two of you and scooped you away. You missed Minghao's eyes tear up once the searing reality of what was happening had finally reached him.
However, you didn't miss Junhui's dark gaze. You gave him a nervous smile when his staring became a bit intimidating.
"Is there something amiss, Junhui?" You muttered, an odd kind of fear settled deep in your belly.
"Nothing, Your Majesty, you just look absolutely beautiful tonight." You inwardly cringed at the term "your majesty". Of course, Junhui called you by your name when no one else was around, but the ballroom was swarming with people of many different backgrounds.
"Why thank you, Junhui. I best be going, the ceremony will begin quite soon." Your own words were bringing you back to reality. It was going to happen, so you might as well comply for the time being.
Junhui bid you farewell, his long and lanky figure disappearing into the crowd. Your hope of freedom went along with him.
-
You wore the crown with dignity and pride. You sat on your throne as if you were the ruler of all the lands, and not just your own. You thought you were pretty good at being Queen.
Of course, there was one thing you forgot, much to your detriment. Minghao worked in the castle. Of course, lowly workers like him would come into the presence of the queen once in a blue moon, but that didn't stop it from happening. The two of you were in closed quarters. You went back inside the castle after a light run around it, and you found yourself in the weaponry.
Minghao was in there merely polishing the weapons, but your presence didn't go unknown. The moment you walked in and saw his beautiful, lean face you were done for. His eyes widened once he was soaked in your presence.
"Minghao." You stated longingly. The rush of melancholy you were feeling was incapacitating; you felt as if you could drown in your emotions.
"Your Majesty." Ouch.
"Minghao, there's no one else around, you can call me--"
"I should go, my Queen." He knew he was just rubbing salt in the wound.
You were reminded of the time when you first met Minghao, which was in that very room you were in. You were a fifteen-year-old princess at that point, and you were destined for the crown. You were sure of just about everything in your life.
But then you saw his face. It was as if he was sculpted from the very gods above; his beautiful, small nose resided on his thin, heavenly face. His big brown eyes were innocent at the time, the dark colors of the world had yet to taint his sight. His angled jawline made your knees weak. You were standing next to Junhui, and you were just about to spar. Minghao came in with his master, a well-known artist who lived in the castle.
Your breath was taken away along with your heart. That servant boy had stolen them both.
"Junhui," You began, "I think I shall postpone our spar. I have someone else in mind."
It was in your nature to impress the people you were interested in. You felt a paralyzing desire to impress that beautiful boy, so much so that you wanted to spar with the most talented warrior in that room.
Soon, the two of you were battling with steel swords, the sound of metal against metal clanging in the air. The warrior was skilled, persistent, and confident. However, you were fuelled with the fire of that boy who made you feel things you had never felt before. The warrior was put to shame by a princess. Needless to say, you won.
You noticed the boy had smiled after the warrior was left heaving on the ground. Your heart was beating incredibly fast, to the point where you could feel your pulse in your ears.
Newfound confidence overtook you. Soon, you were taking long strides to Minghao.
"I need help with something, please do help."
He happily obliged. Turning down the princess would only lead to detrimental results, but he didn't feel even a twinge of apprehension. It was safe to say he was absolutely smitten as well as you. You led him to the courtyard, and the two of you just began talking about your lives. He was surprisingly well educated, not even for just a servant.
Soon, the two of you started meeting regularly. Your father did not mind, surprisingly. His reasoning was that he wanted you to have fun and be a kid like the rest.
Yet, your friendship turned into something much more, and that happened faster than the two of you could've imagined. You were enthralled to be in the presence of someone that could keep up with you intellectually and physically. The two of you would often spar, and Minghao had quite the natural gift.
Minghao had a gift for a lot of things--painting, writing, and breaking your heart.
He was just about to walk out of the weaponry, looking anywhere but at you.
"Wait." You ordered. He halted immediately. He turned around, his brown orbs longingly searching for something in yours. Before you could stop yourself, you ran over to the man you loved. Your lips crashed against his, and he surprisingly reciprocated. His muscular arms snaked around your body immediately. Your hands became entangled in his hair. You tried to pull him as close to you as possible, almost as if to say "I'm still yours".
"I love you so much," Minghao whispered in between the kisses you shared. You were taken aback, even if only for just a bit. You knew Minghao had wanted to resist you, because it was the best thing for the both of you. But he just loved you too damn much to stay away.
"I love you too, Xu Minghao."
It was wrong. You were Queen--you had a duty to your land and you knew you were destined to marry some royal man from far away. Yet, you had ceased to care, because being in Minghao's arms and feeling his lips against your skin was something you'd do just about anything for. Maybe talking to him on that fateful day you met was a mistake in the first place, but you couldn't imagine your life without him.
You and Minghao continued to share passionate kisses, and then you snuck away to your room and had a bit more fun. Little did you know that someone with jealousy in his heart was watching from afar...
-
It was a week since you had reunited with Minghao. The both of you would still secretly meet up just about every day. The entire situation was inherently wrong, but nothing felt more right than being with someone you loved so dearly. You woke up to a knock at your door, and you were grateful for the first time in your life that Minghao wasn't with you.
You forced yourself out of bed, slipping on a pair of dainty shoes. You shuffled to the door to your grand room and tore it open, expecting to be greeted with a servant or Minghao.
It was Junhui.
"Oh, why hello, Junhui, let me get dressed and--"
The sound of the door shutting was heard among your eerily vacant room. Junhui managed to maneuver himself inside, his eyes on fire. Your heart dropped at the furious look on his face.
"Is something the matter? You're being quite scary."
Junhui scoffed, his eyes boring into yours.
"You want to pretend to be oblivious?"
Oh no.
The worst was happening.
"When?" You curtly questioned, your aura of cluelessness dissolving. It was replaced with a cold, burdened mask. Junhui wasted no time in his reply.
"Last week. I saw the two of you in the weaponry, and dear God, Y/N! What are you doing? You are queen, you cannot do this!"
A sigh of anger and fear escaped your lips.
"Junhui, I love him, and--"
"Stop. Let him go this instant, please. I'm begging you, Y/N."
"I'm Queen, Junhui, you cannot order me around." Junhui's face soon turned grim.
"Please do not make me get the ministry involved."
You sucked in a sharp breath through your teeth. Rage was starting to consume your every movement. Betrayal was hot in the air, making you feel stiff and unwell. Junhui's presence was no longer welcome.
You thought he'd support you. He was your best friend, one of the few people in this castle that you could trust. Or so you thought.
"Junhui, get out." You stifled an onslaught of sobs, but you couldn't only fight them for so long. You were not going to let Junhui see you cry.
"If I get the ministry involved, Y/N, you're--"
"Going to die, yes I know! They'll execute me for treason." You were seeing the color red. You wanted nothing else but to run up to Junhui and punch him in his gut, making him feel a sliver of the pain he had just caused you.
"You wouldn't be the only one who dies, Y/N."
The sky of the world you had almost perfectly molded was falling. You swallowed, your throat completely dry. Minghao would die, and it would be of your doing.
"Get out, Junhui, before I kill you."
He didn't speak another word. He got up from the chair he was sitting on and walked out of the room, his jaw tightened. You gave him the most deathly glare as he exited.
And then you broke down. Tears of betrayal, self-hatred, and of inevitability had fallen. This was bound to happen, you should've stopped when you could have. Now you were just left to deal with the aftermath--the consequences of your detrimental actions.
Then, it dawned on you. The great epiphany made your heart drop to your stomach.
You'd rather just die than live without Minghao.
-
Minghao's face remained stoic the entire time you explained the situation to him. At times, his eyes would flash with a streak of pain briefly, but then they'd go back to their emotionless nature. The two of you had snuck out to the courtyard, hiding in an extremely dark spot at around midnight. You hoped and prayed Junhui didn't see either of you.
"What do we do?" You feebly asked, your voice raw and broken. Tears were already welling up in your eyes.
"We don't let them kill us."
His words made your stomach drop. Your breath was taken away for a bit, and you were left to wonder what the hell the love of your life was saying.
"What?"
"We steal poison berries from the garden, and we eat them." The initial shock of his words was like a blunt punch to your gut. Minghao didn't want to give you up. If the situation were vastly different, you'd probably be flattered.
You wanted to protest. You wanted to run away and live with him until you turned old and decrepit, but you knew that was a mere fantasy. It was impossible.
"Okay." You found yourself saying. You were sealing your fate with that, you were going to die and leave your kingdom behind.
It was quite a selfish decision. However, you grew up a princess. Your entire life was set out for you ever since you took your first breath. This time, the power was in your hands. What a forlorn situation, though; the only thing you have power over is whether you get to kill yourself or not.
You grabbed Minghao's hands and stroke your thumbs over them. You closed your eyes and let yourself relish in the last moment you'd be spending with him. You couldn't help but let tears fall, you didn't want to die, you didn't want to leave your kingdom behind. You were afraid of your brutal end. Your heart was tainted with the black color of hate, something you'd never thought you'd feel towards Wen Junhui. He had betrayed you in the worst of ways, and now he would know your decision. You inwardly scoffed at the audacity of that man. Giving you, the Queen, an ultimatum! You almost wanted to die solely just to spite him.
Minghao removed his hands from your grasp and cupped your face instead, kissing you slowly and longingly.
Much to your dismay, he pulled away and led you to the garden. It took a while to find the poison berries, since they were hidden in the way back, covered by many other plants.
"Minghao, I--"
"Y/N! I know you're out there!" Junhui erupted. You felt your entire figure grow heavy.
"We have to eat them now, Y/N." Minghao's eyes were filled to the brim with tears. You muffled your sobs by pressing your hand against your mouth, your entire body shaking.
"Xu Minghao," You began in a whisper, "I hope we can meet again in another life. I hope we'll know one another as equals, and that we'll love each other freely."
Minghao swallowed thickly. This time, he couldn't contain the tears from falling.
"I hope the same, Y/N. I love you."
"I love you too."
Then all you could taste was the bitter flavor of the berries. The sharpness of your senses was inevitably dulling, and your eyes somehow managed to make out Junhui behind Minghao. It seemed as if realization struck Junhui across the face, due to his shocked and deadly expression.
Everything was going numb. Minghao was fading out of your sight, and your breaths were uneven and unsteady. Soon, you collapsed to the ground. Minghao fell slowly after you, and the last thing you saw was the painful look in your love's eyes as all the life drained from him, and eventually you too.