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Joe had trouble having a bed to himself, he could technically sleep alone, but nightmares plagued him and waking in a dark room with nobody nearby left him frantic. It’s why he was quite relieved that when Campbell moved in with him that he was more than fine with sharing a bed with him, he’d been nervous about the idea at first, unsure if his friend was doing this because he wanted to or because he felt that he had to. Joe didn’t want him thinking he was demanding anything from him, Campbell had been nice to him ever since the first time they’d met, yet he still worried he would do or say something to change that.
It was while they lay in bed together on night, Campbell deeply asleep on his side of the bed, one leg hanging over the side of the bed that Joe found himself relaxing too much. In his sleep he moved closer to the warm body next to his, crossing over the safe space he’d been purposefully keeping between them, he threw an arm across Campbell’s waist, hand pressed against his stomach. He only realized his mistake when he felt the body next to him begin to shift, felt a hand against his forearm. Joe’s eyes opened; he immediately jerked his arm away cradling it against himself as he tucked himself into the corner with his back against the wall.
“Sorry, I’m sorry,” he apologized, voice cracking as he felt fear well up inside him.
Campbell pulled himself into a sitting position turning to face his friend, he didn’t look angry. His hair was flopped over his face, eyes hardly opened as he looked at him confused. He pushed his hair back out of his face, kept the distance between them as he observed his still panicked friend.
“Why you sorry for?” He asked, voice heavy with sleep. He rubbed at his eyes trying to wake himself up.
“Touching you, I, I didn’t mean to do that. I’m sorry, I just, I forgot, and I got too close to you is all.” He explained, tears rolling down his cheeks, he wiped them away with a shaking hand feeling ridiculous for crying.
“Hey, it’s okay, I’m not mad, look, promise I’m not upset.” He assured him, his voice gentle and soft as he cautiously scooted closer to him. He reached out a hand to him gently placing it against his knee, it hurt him to feel Joe tense under his touch.
There was fear in the blue eyes that watched him, he looked a lot like the rabbits that used to be in the yard of his parents home, that look they got when the dog would chase after them and corner them before Campbell could get him away from them. He hated seeing Joe looking that way, he didn’t like that he was looking at him that way, he wasn’t quite sure how he could convince him he wasn’t going to hurt him.
“This okay?” He asked, fingers brushing against his knee.
Joe slowly nodded, “sorry”
“Shh hey no, don’t, you don’t have to be sorry for anything. I don’t mind you doing that, touching me. I like it, you don’t have to worry.”
He moved closer to him, reached up to place a hand against his cheek, thumb brushing the tears from his skin. Joe leaned into his touch despite himself, despite the fear in the depths of his mind that this was somehow a trap. He scolded himself for thinking Campbell would hurt him, he’d never shown signs of hurting him, of wanting to hurt him. If he was going to, then he would have already, right?
“I just got so used to, to how things were, with him.” He quietly explained, he swallowed hard feeling like he could scream or cry.
“He hurt you, just for touching him?”
Joe nodded in response; he took hold of Campbell’s hand lightly stroking his fingers along the back of it. “Sometimes, didn’t like if I touched him when we were sleeping. Hit me a lot when that happened.”
Campbell knew a little bit about what Joe had been through; he knew that he’d gotten into some form of relationship with a guy older than him who had treated him badly, he knew that he was still struggling to work through a lot of the trauma that time of his life left him with. He was for the most part doing better than he’d been doing a few months ago, but there were still moments like these. It always hurt to find out more details about what had gone on, he couldn’t quite grasp how somebody could be that violent or cruel towards a person who was nothing but kind to them.
“I’m sorry, I swear I won’t do that. If you like sleeping close then you can, hold me all you want, I won’t mind.” He assured him smiling softly.
Joe regarded him for a moment, seeming unsure for just a second longer before relaxing. “Thank you, would it be okay if-if I kissed you?”
“Course, that’s okay.”
He very gently placed a hand on Campbell’s shoulder leaning forward and brushing his lips against his in a soft barely there kiss. Still a kiss nonetheless, Campbell smiled, he was relieved when his friend smiled back at him letting out a small laugh. He leaned in again, lips pressing more confidently against Campbell’s, fingers lightly stroking against freckled skin before breaking away again.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“You don’t have to thank me, I care about you, a lot.”
Joe kissed him once more before laying back down on the bed, Campbell lay down next to him allowing him to curl up against his side, head resting against his chest and arm slung across his stomach. He held his friend close against him, pet his fingers through his dark curly hair humming to him until he was sure he was asleep again. Campbell knew he’d been through pure Hell, but he did want to do his best to look after him and show him he was deserving of a lot more than he’d gotten.