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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Adventures of Selina Kyle
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Published:
2020-03-22
Words:
1,361
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
12
Kudos:
115
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10
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1,018

Selina Kyle goes to Catco

Summary:

Selina Kyle is annoying, Cat Grant is day drinking, Lillian Luthor is definitely somewhere and Kara Danvers is just trying her best.

Work Text:

The first thing Cat Grant noticed when she exited the elevator was a frantic Kara Danvers. The blonde girl seemed to be close to her breaking point, which was quite the feat as it was only 8:30 in the morning. The second thing she noticed as she got closer to her glass encased office was the woman lounging on top of her desk, her very expensive imported one of a kind desk. And finally as she reached Kara’s desk she noticed that the woman on her desk was most definitely the cause of her young assistants tense shoulders and nervous glances.

“I am so sorry Miss Grant, she was there when I arrived this morning, “ Kara motioned to the woman, “and she refused to leave. I called security and they came but then she spoke to them and somehow convinced them to leave and I don’t know what to do or who to call,” she rambled on, her eyes wet with what Cat was horrified to realize where the beginning of tears.

“Kara! Stop the incessant rambling. I will take care of this situation. I see there is no coffee on my desk so go and fetch some and get some for yourself as well ,” Cat said softly in an attempt to placate the agitated woman.

“But Miss Grant….,” the girl started before pausing as Cat put a hand on her shoulder and gently nudged the girl towards the direction of the elevators.

“I think I made myself clear Kara, now go,” Cat reassured the blonde before marching into her office and closing the door behind her. Leaving a dejected Kara in her wake, the girl slinking off to do Cat’s coffee run.

“PUSSYCAT!” the figure loitering on the table exclaimed loudly when she saw Cat enter the room.

“Selina Kyle,” Cat gave a dramatic if over exaggerated sigh. “Weren't you banned from National City?”

“Oh no that was a temporary thing, at least I think it was. Actually maybe it was more of a suggestion than a ban, I can’t say I ever cared enough to check,” Selina replied with a lazy smirk as she stretched before pulling herself up into a seated position on the desk.

“I have an amazing legal department that can clear that up for you, I can call Lane up right now if you please,” Cat offered as she seated herself comfortably on the sofa closest to the brunette.

“Agh, Lois Lane works for you? I thought you were better than that,” Selina grimaced at the thought of the tenacious journalist.

“Hell no! Lucy Lane works for me. She’s Lucifer's younger much more tolerable sister,” Cat smirked, shaking her head at the mere thought of sharing a city never-mind a building with the older Lane sister.

“Lois is the worst. Did I tell you about that time I was in Metropolis and I met Superman, we hit it off and just as I was about to make a move in waltzes Lois Lane and proceeds to cockblock me. She’s the worst,” Selina whined, throwing her head back in annoyance.

“Aren't you married to Bruce?” Cat asked with a furrowed brow, confused by the information.

“We’re divorced. I really thought he was the one but honestly there is only so much brooding a woman can take. And I just didn’t get the bat thing, you know, like why bats specifically?” Selina said, shaking her head.

“Didn't he fall into a cave or something as a child?” Cat shrugged, fixing herself and her companion a drink as she did so.

“Yeah but what a weird thing to fixate on. Also he’s just really oblivious. The entire Gotham population knows that he’s Batman and yet he pretends that he has the worlds greatest disguise. He had to apply for building permits in order to build the bat cave, the permits are literally public record,” Selina nods her head in thanks as Cat deposits a precariously full tumbler of whiskey in her hand. “Speaking of oblivious, why is Supergirl your assistant, is it like a sex role-play thing?”

“She’s not Supergirl,” Cat replied confidently.

Selina hopped of the table, drink barely even moving as she gracefully landed on the plush carpet, she exchanged her drink for the latest copy of Cat’s magazine that lay on the coffee table. The brunette then took a seat at Cat’s desk while the CEO watched on baffled as the other woman found a pen in her draw and started to doodle silently on the cover. When she was done she capped the pen before making her way to Cat’s side with the magazine still in hand.

“This is the worst disguise ever,” Selina turned the magazine to face Cat. She had drawn black rimmed glasses on the superhero who was gracing the most recent cover. “Pamela uses leaves and being green as a disguise but this is still somehow worse, like Kent level bad.”

“Yes, yes it is,” Cat sighed, rubbing her temples to sooth the oncoming headache that always came after a visit from Selina.

“So is it a roleplay thing? You're the tough boss that takes no nonsense and demands unreasonable things but she achieves them despite all the obstacles and manages to impress you along the way, also there’s a makeover montage and an ill fated trip to Paris,” Selina said, batting her eyes at a less than impressed blonde.

“That’s the plot to the Devil Wears Prada,” Cat snapped.

“Of course it is. That film is pure romance,” Selina replied with a dreamy look.

“What are you doing here?” Cat asked, finding it impossible despite her frustration to keep the hint of fondness that colored her tone at bay.

“I’m looking for someone,” Selina replied.

“Someone specific because if not, there are websites for that,” Cat quipped.

“Well after Bruce and I fell apart I decided to move on and I met someone equally as tall, rich and broody. However she does tend to vanish quite often which I don’t mind but she accidentally took something of mine and I need to get it back sooner rather than later,” Selina explained with a slight pout.

“Vanish? You're involved with Zantana? The tacky magician,” Cat asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust at the thought of the magical woman's atrocious outfits.

“Nope but I do like her hat,” Selina winked. “Actually it’s Lillian Luthor, and technically we’re married but that’s a long story.”

“She’s a terrorist, you married an international criminal,” Cat said, taking a long sip from her drink. The blonde wasn’t even the slightest bit surprised by Selina’s announcement, if anything it was typical Selina to do something this chaotic.

“Well technically we’re both international criminals but we have different specialties, which already makes us so much more compatible than Bruce and I ever where,” Selina said with glee and an flurry of hand movements.

“You could ask Lena, Lillian’s daughter. She’s the CEO of L-Corp, huge building 2 blocks east of here,” Cat said motioning in the direction of said building.

“I’m……..a step-mom? This is awesome. Do you think she’ll like me?” Selina said, grinning in pure excitement at the prospect of a stepdaughter.

“No,” Cat replied blankly.

“That okay, I can steal her pretty things in exchange for her love and affection. I need to go Cat, sorry to cut this short. Next time we’ll talk about you and your bizarre assistant fetish with Supergirl,” Selina said apologetically before leaping off the sofa, attempting to leave the room just as Kara was entering.

“Hey Blondie, that was a super fast run to the coffee shop. You must be a real super employee. I bet Cat treats you super well, on the desk, and the sofa and definitely on the balcony,” Selina nudged the girl before giving her an exaggerated wink.

“Huh, what?” Kara asked, confused by the woman's odd behavior.

“You into the Devil Wears Prada thing?” Selina asked in a low seductive tone.

“I love that movie,” Kara answered, still not clear as to what was happening.

Selina laughed loudly before turning and leaving, a blushing Cat and a baffled Kara in her wake.

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