Chapter Text
The armies faced each other across the battlefield, ranks straight, pennants waving in the autumn breeze. Awaiting only the signal from their generals to begin their battle. Watching for the waving of the fan to unleash….
“So what did we decide the winner gets?”
Hifumi Togo sighed, and fixed her smirking opponent with a frown.
“WE decided nothing, YOU kept making suggestions that I found wholly inappropriate.”
And their battle begins with mind games, as it usually did. Sometimes a contest can be won far before the first pawn moves, but she was familiar enough with Ren’s tactics that he hadn’t managed that yet. As often as she had played against him, he always seemed to bring something new to the battle. Typically it was something embarrassing, or a new way to go down in flames. But still… He was nothing if not inventive.
“Oh, please. My suggestions were, at worst, mildly inappropriate. Except for the one about the sweater with the cut-out in the chest… That was pretty inappropriate. Even if you would have looked incredible in it. Still…”
It added a different spin on your tactics when the opponent might literally be imagining you naked… Or at least wearing so little clothing it was just as bad… And probably was from THAT smirk…
“‘In the chest’ he says… It was all cut-out! It had just about enough material for a washcloth, Amamiya! It didn’t deserve to be called a sweater!”
“It would certainly have kept me warm.”
“You wear it then!”
“Why Togo-san! I thought that was inappropriate! What would your mother say?”
The park was beautiful this time of year, leaves of scarlet and gold waving in the warm sunlight and cool breeze. Small tables scattered around the paths, several of which could afford a little quiet privacy for a game with an opponent who, while dearly loved, apparently had no idea of how to moderate his affectionate behaviour in public…
“Hush you! Don’t bring her into it, she already thinks I’m dating a playboy. Besides this is not an appropriate topic for discussion right now. We are in public, and you, sir, always take things further than you should.”
The weather had been mild this autumn, and their games of shogi had not yet been forced to move inside. Which was both a blessing and a curse. There was typically more people in the park, hence more chance a teasing comment from her opponent would draw a stare from an onlooker. But the fresh air and scenery was gorgeous and a cool breeze could give her an excuse to walk a little closer than really necessary when the game was done.
On the other hand, while the Church environment was less stimulating, attention was less likely due to the lower number of visitors. But if they did draw it… Well… There was consequences…
“Further than I should, or further than I should IN PUBLIC?”
Ren had a look in his eye that always promised mischief.
“Ren…”
Her invitation to play in the church was still open. For now. Although her friend, the priest, had taken to leaving passages about the importance of marriage and chastity around and coughed loudly when Ren leaned in a little too close.
Ren had found it all very amusing, damn him.
“There is a very important difference there, I just want clarification.”
“STOP THAT!”
Until last week.
She’d arrived earlier than usual to their game, and had seen the priest pull him aside for a serious talk about his intentions towards her. She was going to intervene, but Ren had gestured to her to keep out of it, even though she was sure he couldn’t have seen her enter.
His eyes were so serious…
She had no idea what had passed between them that day, but the priest had apparently got his cough seen to and there was far less judgemental passages left around… but now there were brochures about booking the church for weddings, and the occasional ones on the joys of family.
“I plead provocation! You are deliberately being attractive to thrown me off the game.”
“I..!”
“See! That blush must be against the rules somewhere.”
It made her almost too nervous to return, Just in case she found out exactly what Ren had said. Her imagination was providing a few too many options as it was, and most of those made her have to sit down and cool off.
So the park it was for now, joggers be damned.
“Ahem…As I said. HIGHLY Inappropriate. Focus on the game, Amamiya. You should need no other reward than victory.” She narrowed her eyes at him, but resisted the urge to stick out her tongue. He always seemed to bring out her childish side.
The first piece is moved, ready to intercept the enemy’s forces, only somewhat worried by the fact their Queen was blushing like a tomato.
“I get my reward, win or lose, I spend time with you. I was just offering you an incentive to win.”
She rolled her eyes.
“How many games have we played, Ren?”
“By now? Hundreds.”
“And how many times have you won?”
“Four!”
She raised an eyebrow.
“Two. You aren’t allowed to attack the opponent.”
“Three, kissing you doesn’t count as attacking. I will concede the tickling only because you knocked over the board.”
“Two. It does if you do it to distract me.”
“You should count it as training.” He considered the board and moved a pawn forward.
”In case another opponent kisses me?”
“Well, in case I do. You’re under constant threat.”
“Something I am very well aware of by now.”
“Do you want more practice with it?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
She sighed.
“Why are you still trying to distract me?”
“Because it works? Guess how many pieces I got to move while you were blushing?”
A quick glance at the board confirmed her suspicions.
“None. You are scoundrel, but not a cheat.”
“You looked! You don’t trust me after all!”
Her partner was clearly in a playful mood today… that boded ill for her peace of mind.
“I had to look because of last week! I still don’t understand how you did that.”
“I swapped them when we were packing up. Easy as one, two, three.”
She sighed, again. It was DEFINITELY going to be one of those games.
“If a certain Joker has had enough of laughing at my name, can we return to the game?”
“I wasn’t laughing at it! I happen to love your name. I’d use it more often but someone keeps getting embarrassed and dropping things.”
“YOU WHISPERED IT IN MY EAR! I didn’t even know you were there! Is that why you did that? Payback because I spilt coffee on you?”
“NO! I wanted to give you something special!”
She fixed him with a long glare. Makoto had been giving her tips, but she wasn’t anywhere near her level. She hadn’t managed to make someone run away yet… or get Ren to stop doing, well, anything…
“Do you understand what would have happened if I went into a formal match with all my pieces engraved with MAGICAL HIFUMI POWER?!”
“Well that blush would be pretty high on the list of guesses.”
“I would have been disqualified for non-standard equipment, you idiot.”
“It was just on the edges!”
“THAT DOESN’T MATTER.”
A pawn is moved into a poor positon by a distracted queen, and is taken. Shaking its head at her folly.
“I made those myself…”
“WHY?!”
He had the GALL to look disappointed!
“I wanted you to think of me when you used them.”
As if she wouldn’t have already! She thought of him quite too much as it was… It was mortifying how little of the day passed before he popped into her head. Usually saying something that made her blush.
She’d bite off her tongue before she told HIM that though. He was far too cocky already.
“So you decided to embarrass me in public? Smooth, that would really leave a good impression.”
She took a pawn.
“I’m afraid I was distracted by thoughts of you blushing. Not my best thought out plan.”
“Honestly! I don’t know why I put up with you sometimes.”
He leant over the board conspiratorially.
“Don’t tell anyone, but I think it’s because you’re in love with me.”
“You are really pushing your luck today, Ren.”
He winked. Then grinned.
“What did you do with the pieces?”
“Hmm…” She pretended not to have heard and stared at the board.
“Hi-Fu-Mi?”
Ren fixed her with a raised eyebrow, while she did her best impression of a strawberry.
“They’re on my dresser, OK! With that doll you won me. You did an excellent job with the engraving and it seemed a shame to…STOP SMIRKING!”
Their Battle continues, the queen fighting back from her earlier missteps, the tricksters forces being pushed further and further back into…
“I think you’d make a wonderful magical girl. You certainly have the legs for a miniskirt.”
She didn’t raise her eyes from the board and moved a rook.
“Is this what we’re doing today? You should have told me, we could have played at Leblanc and Sojiro-san could have dealt with the foolishness. At least he can reign you in!”
“All I know is if all your clothes suddenly disappeared and you magically assembled an outfit out of rainbows I’d be very distracted.”
“You are incorrigible!”
“And you’re still smiling… Oh! We could make that the reward! I’m sure there must be some magical girl outfits readily available. I can lend you a talking cat if you want, he could do with the exercise.”
“He doesn’t count. It’s you talking for him.”
“I have to translate, besides, he’s better behind a censor. Trust me.”
“He can’t be MORE inappropriate than his owner!”
“He taught me everything I know, just ask him… and you know he prefers ‘Partner’.”
“It will be a cold day in hell before I cosplay, Amamiya. Shut up. Do you even want to play this game?”
“Of course I do. It’s your move, My Star.”
She moves her lance to an attacking position, but doesn’t lift her finger from it. Eyes fixed on the board.
As good a time as any to ask this. Not like she was focused on the game today anyway…
“I’ve been meaning to ask, why do you call me that?”
“Did you want me to stop?”
If she hadn’t know him so well the teasing lilt would have covered the moment’s vulnerability in that question. She dropped her eyes back to the board, but couldn’t hide the soft smile on her face.
“Never. I just wondered... I thought you were making fun of me at first. Because of my time as an idol.”
“Really?” He seems surprised.
“Like you never make fun of me! You threw me for a while there, I wasn’t used to people who didn’t just want me for what I could do for them.”
“I’m can think of…”
“Amamiya, this is not the moment for dirty jokes.”
He gives a sigh, deeper than she’s heard from him for a long time.
“I guess not. Ok then, Your Majesty, story time. A lot of what got me through that year was the people I met. You have no idea how badly things could have gone if I didn’t have you guys.”
“Worse than what happened?”
His eyes are far away. Wherever it is, he’s not happy to be there.
“Much. Let’s leave it at that. Anyway, so many new people to meet, and so many people needing help, I needed to keep track. Tarot cards was as easy a method to tag my important contacts with as anything.”
He’s not LYING….but…
Worse than that Interrogation? She shivered.
Maybe she should have braved the church, that breeze was far too cold.
“You’re not telling me the whole truth there.”
“It’s close enough, believe me. Anything I leave out is better forgotten.”
She gives him an appraising look, then lifts her finger from the piece.
“You’re lucky I trust you.”
“Very.”
And the warmth in his tone makes her glad she’s sitting down, since she’s not entirely sure her knees would have held her up.
“So that explains the cards, so why was I the Star?”
“Well… it can be read as inspiration, happiness or hope for the future.” He moved a knight and smiled at her.
The queens’ forces are not having the best day. She’s been quite distracted. Another piece falls.
“There’s that blush again, Hifumi. I was starting to miss it.”
She moved a rook to take the knight, then smiled, resting her chin on her hands.
“Ren…?”
“Yes?”
“Who was the Lovers?”
A gust of wind blew past as Ren moved a general.
“You know there is more than one reading for…”
“Answer the question, Amamiya.”
“Ann.”
She raised an eyebrow. The smile had an edge on it now.
“If it helps I’m the Fool?”
“That does not surprise me in the slightest.”
She is still the better general, even if somewhat distracted. Her forces rally to a new plan, watching for feints from her mercurial opponent to test her defences.
“What did you think of the blend?”
He had brought her coffee again, something she’d regarded as a necessary evil, more than a gourmet food before he’d come into her life. She’d since begun developing a serious caffeine addiction, not that the part time barista that provided her the evil drink had anything to do with her regular visits to Leblanc, of course.
She could help but feel her pawns were SNICKERING at her! Perhaps her visualisations were getting out of hand…
“It was oddly Nutty, I liked the aftertaste though.”
“Hmm, little less Narino maybe? But the SHB seems about right” He tapped a quick note into his phone and pocketed it.
“You promised. You’re never putting in that elephant coffee, right?”
“I promise. Not only can I not afford it, the thought makes me a little queasy.”
“Good.”
“Just be careful if Haru invites you out, she can both afford it… and she has an odd sense of humour.”
He realises the mistake in that joke a moment after he makes it and in the long silence that follows.
“Hey…?”
“We both know that’s not going to happen, Ren.”
And her army throws up their hands, losing any hope of getting her to focus on this game now this topic has come up.
Her formal introduction to the Phantom thieves, so much as the word could apply to them, had come late.
Only after their enforced year apart was done, and Ren returned to Tokyo was she introduced to most of them in person. Oh, she had names, and a good idea of personalities, but Ren seemed determined to monopolise her time in their last month together and, well, she wasn't against that... They had a lot of lost time to make up for…
Once he’d returned to Tokyo, she'd often meet up with him in Leblanc, where Sojiro had pressed him into service at nearly every available opportunity. Sakura-san had said it was because of all the crap he'd put them through in the past years. But having a skilled Barista with Ren's natural charms on staff had seemingly increased the foot traffic to the cafe by quite an amount.
A large number of them school girls and female office workers.
She was only visiting him there because she had to, Not to keep an eye on him...
Sojiro clearly didn’t believe that either, from the smile he gave her whenever she entered.
Which finally led to her meeting face to face with Japan's most wanted...
They were NOT as she expected.
Makoto of course, she knew. They still played Shogi occasionally, when Makoto had dug herself out from under the mountains of texts the university had pushed on her. It was good to have an opponent who relied less of flair, leaps of faith and innuendo to play against. Plus she was always considerate of when a little time alone was needed, being one of few people on the planet capable of goading the collective phantom thieves to any sort of movement.
Ann had proved to be a ball of energy, determined to use their relationship as some kind of spectator sport. Often pushing for details and information which she later used to extort sweets from Ren. Ren had told Hifumi how protective she was of her friends, and of her fiery temper, but she'd spent all of a minute after being introduced staring her down before declaring them "Adorable" and offering to take her out for crepes with Shiho. The girl did make her a touch self-conscious, though, since she had a habit of watching her and Ren when they were together with big sparkling eyes and massive goofy grin, typically until Makoto dragged her off, protesting.
Yusuke was...still Yusuke? Same as he had been in high school, regarding everything with disinterest unless he was inclined to capture it in his art. The first time she'd entered Leblanc while he was there he'd leapt to his feet and declared that he must draw her immediately, before being cuffed over the head by Makoto and Ann almost simultaneously. After he woke back up he'd calmed down somewhat.
After that he had been subdued, and casting furtive glances to Ren whenever they spoke. It was bizarre...until Makoto had explained that Ren was not happy that he might have scared her, and certain threats had been made to ensure his behaviour, some of them involved withholding curry, at least one involved using a paintbrush in a manner it was not designed for.
It did explain why he had a tendency to make a quick exit when Ren caught him sketching her, though.
Next was Ryuji, Ren's best friend, and first ally... Who seemed to have been born without a filter between his brain and his mouth. It was rare he went five minutes of conversation without causing SOMEONE, thief, guest or owner himself to insist he quiet down, or promise some kind of harm if he didn't.
And these were his friends!
Not like she didn't understand it. Since his response to meeting her was an extended "DAAAAAAAMN" while looking her up and down with a big grin on his face. Followed by him turning to Ren and complain about his betrayal and that he'd now have no chance "Hunting for babes” since that left him with just Mishima for help. She'd excused herself, embarrassed, heading to the bathroom which apparently let Makoto and Ann explain using short words and percussion why his luck probably wasn’t just Mishima’s fault and that he needed to be more tactful.
She got a strong feeling it wasn’t the girl’s efforts, but the look in Ren’s eye that had finally calmed him down, though.
He was honest, loyal and friendly, and she spent at least half the time he was talking wanting to hit him over the head with a spoon.
Given how often someone did just that, it seemed to be a common response.
Then there was Morgana…The sentient cat…thing… she was still coming to terms with him.
After playing one surreal game of shogi with him she’d accepted that he could clearly talk to Ren SOMEHOW and was far more intelligent than he had any right to be…
Also he was astonishingly BAD at shogi since half his moves were prefixed by an argument with Ren over why the piece couldn’t move that way.
It did explain why Ren used to look so grumpy, and Morgana so smug, when she’d hugged him and rubbed his ears during a few of their shogi matches during their tenure as thieves, though.
Also why Ren had stopped bringing him along after a certain point it their relationship.
As for the others… Things had gone less well.
Futaba mostly hid and avoided her, apparently not very happy about her addition to their company. But she caused no major problems when she visited, other than worrying background noises of growling and getting in Makoto’s way by hiding behind her.
But Haru… on the other hand...
“She… Doesn’t like me very much.”
“Hifumi…” The warmth of his hand on hers lifts flagging spirits.
“I know.”
“She’s a good person, really, besides… It’s not you she doesn’t like.”
Yes. She’d noticed what the problem was VERY quickly.
“It’s the fact I’m YOUR girlfriend.”
Haru had some kind of lingering designs on a position that was VERY MUCH filled.
“She’ll come around, give her time.”
“So she can sharpen an axe?”
There had been a slight flicker of fear in Ren’s eye at that comment. She wondered why.
“Stop that, Star. They’re all big boys and girls now. They’ll get used to it. Ryuji was pretty grumpy and he got over it fast.”
“Mr Sakamoto was just annoyed he would have to…er…’Chase Hotties’ was it? With just Mishima-san for company given his ‘lack of game’, whatever that means. I told him to take Yusuke along if he was so worried and he gave me a very odd look.”
“hmm….” Ren had a look on his face she’d grown to recognise.
“This is one of THOSE stories, isn’t it? I don’t think I can take another of those right now… Anyway. Ryuji is one thing, Okumura-san is a whole different story.”
A different story with a very different soundtrack…That string piece from Psycho seemed oddly appropriate…
Haru had been…icy… Cold didn’t do it justice. She’d been working behind the counter when they’d first met, all warm sunshine and smiles, right up until Makoto had introduced her as Ren’s girlfriend.
Then the girl had frozen solid.
From that moment on, every interaction with her had been cold, precise and as short as possible. She’d presented her coffee with a saccharine smile that went nowhere near her eyes and returned behind the counter to chop vegetables for the curry VERY loudly. With something that sounded far heavier than a kitchen knife…
She’d looked to Makoto in surprise, only to find on her face a look she’d normally associate with someone finding a live snake in their bag and had fought down the urge to pour that coffee into a pot plant in case it had been poisoned.
It hadn’t grown much better over time. She could almost feel the air freezing if she walked into the room while the girl was present, and she’d seen Haru pause on the doorstep of Leblanc and take a deep breath on more than one occasion if she’d caught sight of her through the window.
The others seemed confused by the cold shoulder she was getting. She’d heard Ryuji ask Haru what “Eff” was going on as she left one day. She hadn’t stuck around for the answer, but she’d noticed Ryuji sitting as far from Haru as possible on the next few visits.
“Haru had a really bad time that year, with her father’s death and everything that followed it… I helped her through it, she got a little too attached to me in the process. I already feel bad enough about that as it is. I can’t help feeling I led her on.”
You probably did, Amamiya! You flirt with EVERYONE, and you don’t even realise you’re doing it!
He’d flirted with his TEACHER when she’d met him outside his school one day! The teacher had responded by blushing and hitting him over the head with a clipboard. She’d prodded him about it afterwards and he blamed Makoto for having to work on his charm stat to help her friend. Whatever that meant, Ren could be annoyingly cryptic sometimes.
She couldn’t be upset with him for it, any more than she could be upset with him for breathing. He never seemed to intend it. It was just built into him now.
Birds sang, grass grew, and Ren would unconsciously charm anything in a skirt, and quite a few in trousers, for that matter.
“Between her and Futaba I’m somewhat nervous to visit Leblanc now.”
“What did Futaba do this time?”
She hadn’t meant to say that… He’d thrown her way to far off balance with his teasing today.
Too late. Guess this conversation was happening as well.
“Well…she offered to erase all my old photoshoots off the internet for me.”
“Even the one…”
“…with the bear, yes. Can you please stop mentioning that? It’s Embarrassing.”
Ren was far too fond of THAT piece of her history.
“Not a chance, it’s my phone background.”
“Ren…”
“I’d give anything to be that bear…”
“REN! Focus.”
“Sorry, anyway, that’s her trying to be helpful. Even If it would erase one of Mankind finest masterpieces.”
“That wasn’t the problem, it was all the sidelong comments about how CAREFUL she needs to be when she does it so she doesn’t just wipe me out of existence. She kept trying to do that thing you do with your glasses. She’s not very good at it.”
Futaba Sakura was a strange combination of jealous little sister, ace hacker and tactical nuclear weapon. It was odd feeling, watching a WMD struggle with anxiety.
“Ah…”
“And there’s the fact she keeps hiding behind Makoto when I come into the room.”
“She does that to everyone.”
“And she growls at me when I speak to her.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t Morgana? He makes funny noises when you give him too much curry.”
“It wasn’t, I keep an eye on him since that time he looked up my skirt. I don’t fully trust him down there.”
“He doesn’t really have a choice. He’s short.”
“It’s more the thought of it. I’m unhappy with the idea of a sentient cat making comments on my lingerie choices.”
“I’ll admit he could have been more subtle. But him yelling “So lacy!” had me intrigued.”
“It also intrigued Ryuji, I can do without HIS comments… And for that matter you can keep your thoughts to yourself as well.”
“If you ever decide you do want them...”
“Remind me again why I’m dating you?”
“I wonder that myself sometimes.”
He moved a pawn to an unwise positon, but she was too distracted by the blush to capitalise on it.
“That isn’t all Futaba did that was bothering you though, is it?”
He’s being deliberately offhand but she knows that tone of voice. He won’t let this one go without answer. Ren was too perceptive sometimes.
She hadn’t wanted to raise this directly. He was very fond of Futaba.
“No. She… called me Star the other day.”
Something only Ren ever called her and only when they were alone.
Which meant either he’d told Futaba… or…
With a face like a thundercloud he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, then whistled sharply into the microphone.
“Futaba! I told you to stop listening to this! We need to talk.”
She didn’t know it was possible for a text tone to sound sullen. It apparently was.
“Well it wouldn’t have hurt if you weren’t LISTENING. I don’t need protection from Hifumi! I’ve known her longer than you!”
There was another sullen burble.
“Stow it, Futaba. She doesn’t need protection from me either! You didn’t complain when her tactics pulled us out of trouble in…”
Now an angry buzz.
“For that I’m telling Yusuke you want your Featherman display updated. I bet he has all sorts of new poses he wants to try.”
A number of agitated pings.
“Keep going, Maybe I’ll get Ann to give you pigtails for school as well! With your hair she’d have to use so much hairspray it wouldn’t come out for DAYS! I know people at Shujin, Oracle, I can get a picture on the front page of the newspaper if I need to.”
A startled beep.
“You sleep like you’re dead, you little gremlin, I’m sure we could get it done without you waking up. Hifumi has been helping since before I met you, same as Iwai and the Doctor. We stick together.”
A sullen apologetic bleep.
He stared grumpily at the phone for few seconds.
“She wants to talk to you.”
He held the handset out to her, she took it with some trepidation.
“I’m going to go stretch my legs. Play Nice Oracle.” He set off along the path.
ORACLE: Fuck off Joker! I already have Sojiro, don’t need another dad.
ORACLE: … Is he gone?
ORACLE: …
ORACLE: I don’t hate you.
ORACLE: But he’s a trouble maker and he needs someone who can watch his back.
ORACLE: And I’m not sure if I trust you to do that.
ORACLE: …
ORACLE: Don’t take that the wrong way, I don’t really trust Ryuji to do that most days.
ORACLE: …
ORACLE: But REN trusts you.
ORACLE: Try and make sure he doesn’t get in over his head.
“I’ll do my best.”
ORACLE: He’s going to do it anyway. He does that. Call for backup if there’s a problem.
“I will.”
ORACLE: Don’t go in after him. You’ll just distract him.
“I can’t promise that.” Not now Hifumi.
ORACLE: And what do you plan to do? Chess at them?
“Whatever I have to.” Keep it calm.
ORACLE: I’m sure you’ll be a lot of help.
“I thought he was dead for THREE DAYS Futaba! I’m never letting him go into something like that alone AGAIN!”
Breath. Togo. Ren isn’t dead. He isn’t hurt. He’s fine. He brings you coffee. He makes off colour jokes and teases you. He won.
ORACLE: He wasn’t alone. We were with him!
“In the interrogation room?”
And sometimes he still has the nightmares.
ORACLE: …
“What about Christmas? He did that to protect US.”
ORACLE: …
“He NEVER does that again. Futaba. NEVER!”
And sometimes so did she.
ORACLE: …
ORACLE: Agreed.
ORACLE: …
ORACLE: He has like a hundred photos of the two of you on this phone. You know.
ORACLE: He’s always smiling when he’s with you.
ORACLE: …
ORACLE: You can stick around. For now.
“Just try and stop me.”
ORACLE: … I’m still going to listen to his phone, so you behave.
“Futaba…”
ORACLE: You can’t stop me anyway. Give up and I’ll tell you a secret.
Futaba had a point… That didn’t make her feel any better about it, she stifled a groan.
ORACLE: Ah, there’s the sound of defeat!
ORACLE: I kinda think you’ve earned this anyway.
ORACLE: Haru doesn’t hate you either. She had a thing for Joker, but she knew he had you. First time she met you it finally hit her she couldn’t win.
She almost dropped the phone.
ORACLE: She’s pretty embarrassed about how she acted. She keeps writing you apologies she doesn’t send.
“How do you know that?”
ORACLE: I read her mail.
“FUTABA!”
ORACLE: I read everyone’s mail, she’s not special or anything.
ORACLE: Try and talk to her alone. Saturday morning in Leblanc is your best shot. But still be ready to run if she goes for an axe.
“She actually has an…”
ORACLE: She has several! Iwai refuses to get her a real grenade launcher, though. So if you can get clear of swing range you’re probably safe. Maybe. I’ve seen her toss them before.
ORACLE: And if she invites you to the Wilton for coffee find an excuse PRONTO.
“Elephant?”
ORACLE: Elephant. I still feel sick.
“Oh dear.”
On one hand, she had a chance to improve things. That was more than she’d ever hoped for... On the other hand this sounded like the plot of a slasher movie…
ORACLE: If Noir gives you shit tell her I know her internet history.
“Is that going to scare her?”
ORACLE: It scares the hell out of me!
She caught sight of Ren coming back from his walk with a questioning eyebrow raised.
ORACLE: Ren’s right. This bear picture is adorable. Why did you let them put you in a frilly dress? Not your usual style. It’s usually more elegant and formal.
“My mother was choosing my outfits and I didn’t have a say in the matter.”
ORACLE: I guessed that, you look super grumpy. I think that’s why he likes it, you know? It’s you in the picture, not just some fake smile. Plus he can see your butt!
"Thank you Futaba, Ren's already informed me of that... several times..."
ORACLE: Awww, she's embarrased... Almost as bad as last time you played Shogi with Ren in the church. Wonder why that was?
"I don't know what you're implying." This talk was going sideways fast.
ORACLE: Don't play dumb. I have a recording of Ren's little talk with the priest. You're going to have to come up with a REAL good bribe to get access to that though. This is PRIME blackmail material here.
"FUTABA!"
ORACLE: Think quick, this would keep Ann in crepes for MONTHS, I already have a market.
“All sorted out, you two?" Ren made the mistake of speaking before he could see the screen.
ORACLE: L8tr, erasing the log! Call me when you have an offer!
She watched as the messages disappeared then sighed and handed the phone back to him as he slid into his seat.
"You Ok, Star? You're a bit red."
“She pushed a few of my buttons…Are you sure you two aren’t related?”
“Only by coffee dad, if that counts. What did she want?”
“Girl talk, Ren, keep clear. I think we came to an understanding… Also, you have HOW many pictures of me on your phone?”
“Not enough.”
Ren dropped the phone back into his pocket and grinned.
She finished her coffee with a sigh.
“Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to cause trouble with your friends.”
“YOU didn’t. I had trouble come using you as an excuse. It doesn’t matter what our local crazies think, anyway. I have a girlfriend, and I’m not looking for a trade in. I am happy with the current model. Anyone has a problem with that and I’m going to have…words…with them.” There was an edge on his voice she hadn’t heard in a long while.
The autumn breeze had grown particularly cold. She pulled her scarf tighter around her neck.
“Ren…”
“I can be very persuasive.”
“Ren!”
“And if that doesn’t work I’m going to beat the shit out of them.”
“Will that help?”
“I’m willing to try it and see.”
A cloud passed across the sun, casting a sudden shadow, Leaving Ren’s glasses opaque white circles obscuring his eyes.
“Ren, you’re doing that thing with your glasses again. I told you, I refuse to date an anime villain.”
“You take all the fun out of this sometimes, Star. Fine.”
He took off the glasses and cleaned them, looking at her with a crooked smile.
She frowned at him in response.
“Do you have any more girls chasing you around I should know about? Anyone from back home? Any crazy childhood friends? It seems any time you introduce me to a someone I get a new itch between my shoulder blades. I swear that doctor was making some very odd comments… and that reporter was giving me a funny look. ”
“Oh, Tae’s always like that. And Ohya… she has trouble focusing sometimes. She’s usually drunk.”
“She was taking notes.”
“That she probably couldn’t read the next day. Besides, we have an understanding, plus I have dirt on her.” He winked.
“I’m not sure that would work. She has enough dirt on you for a garden.”
“You wound me, your majesty.”
He reached down and moved a pawn.
The soldiers on the battlefield jolted awake at the resumption of the game and tried to pretend they were paying attention.
“Stop that. You know what I mean. How did you manage to make it a year without getting caught? Everyone seemed to know what you were doing.”
“Technically I didn’t, it was only 8 months.”
“Ren…”
“And it was probably more like… three? Before they knew who we were.”
“I’m amazed you survived!”
“Hey! We still won! They underestimated us! I’m a good thief… Guess I’m just a bad liar.”
She shifted a lance to threaten his general.
“There is worse things to be, I suppose…”
It made it easy to spot when he was joking at least. That was the problem. She got to spend most of their time together a hot mess knowing he was serious.
“Says the good liar.”
“It’s called tactics, Amamiya. Turns out you can do something other than shout ‘Jump them!’ when confronted with a problem. You should try it sometime.”
“Such a pity it doesn’t extend to blushing though, isn’t it?”
She paused, her finger on a piece.
“Is that why you do it?’
“Do what, your majesty?’
“Ren! Are you trying to make me blush because you don’t trust what I say otherwise?”
She snapped her head up from the board to glare at him, only to find his smirking face less than a centimetre from her own, far closer than it had any right to be in public. She shrank down in her chair with an undignified squeak.
“No, I make you blush because it’s adorable. Because it makes your eyes light up and you get this little smile that you can’t hide, even though you try REALLY hard.”
He brushed her lips with his thumb. She did her best not to melt into a puddle.
“Stop! You’re too close!” She stuttered, the sun suddenly far too warm.
He didn’t back off, but reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
“Because it makes the tips of your ears bright pink, and if I’m close enough you bury your face in my shoulder to hide it and hold onto my arm like you never want to let go.”
“REN! We’re in public.” She was fairly sure there was steam coming off her head.
He leaned in a little closer to whisper in her ear. She braced herself.
“Because you’re my beautiful girlfriend and I love you. Also because it’s the only way I ever get a chance to win at these games.”
It took a second or two for the last of his words to penetrate the fireworks in her head.
“What?”
“Checkmate, My Star.”
“WHAT!?”
She looked down at the board as he lifted his finger from the lance he moved while she was focused on….other things.
Her king is surrounded and the thief has again taken with distraction what he couldn’t in an honest battle.
“So what was the prize again?” Ren’s smile threatened to remove his head.
Cocky bastard. He’s lucky he’s cute.
She’d should be angry at him, but… as annoying as he could be her boyfriend had meant every word he’d just said… That earned him a sizable measure of indulgence, for now… Still…
Hifumi regarded her defeated army in distaste and began packing up the pieces.
“I am NOT wearing that sweater.”