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There were rose petals on his pillow.
Bucky blinked. He blinked again. He pinched himself. None of these things made the petals on his pillow disappear, which meant they weren’t some lingering dream by-product left to haunt him in the weak morning hours. They were real.
Bucky reached out and touched the petals. They were soft, smooth, and the lightest shade of pink. There were three of them there, on his pillow, right next to his mouth. He must have coughed them up in his sleep, the petals slipping out of his mouth as he dreamed.
Bucky smiled.
He hummed as he got ready for the day, putting on his favorite combination of a henley and jeans. He carefully laid his petals flat between the pages of a thick paperback book, one Steve had lent him that Bucky was taking his time getting around too. He bounded up the stairs to the common room where the team, for those who were awake, gathered for breakfast.
Right now there was just Steve, back from his morning run, who looked up from the stovetop and his pan of eggs at Bucky’s entrance.
“Morning,” Steve greeted.
“Morning!” Bucky returned as he searched the cupboard for his granola.
“What are you so happy about?” Steve eyed Bucky with a frown.
“Nothin’,” Bucky replied breezily as he stepped around Steve to grab a bowl and the milk. “Happy Tuesday, I guess.”
Steve hummed in acknowledgement, but he kept one eye on Bucky as he stirred his eggs.
Bucky grinned widely at Steve and assembled his breakfast, which also included a protein shake from the fridge. Food was great, and Bucky loved eating, but it freaked him out to crack a dozen eggs into a skillet and know he’d eat it all, like Steve was doing. Whether it was because Hydra had fed him on protein bars, shakes, and the occasional IV of some home-made slurry that Bucky would rather not think about, or the memories of the Depression rearing its head, Bucky still shied away from big meals.
Bucky scooped up a spoonful of his maple sugar granola with milk and crunched away with happiness, his taste buds pleased. The protein shake would fill the rest of the requirements of his super soldier metabolism.
Bucky took his breakfast to the table, paused, then went back to the counter and started the coffee machine.
“You drink coffee now?”
“I can be nice.” Bucky rolled his eyes. “Other people in the Tower have to work, you know.”
Steve hummed again, and something in Steve’s tone had Bucky wondering if punching Steve would further improve his good mood.
Bucky slowly returned to his breakfast, his gaze challenging Steve to say something.
“Happy Tuesday indeed,” Steve said, his tone too bland and innocent. He scraped his mountain of eggs onto a plate and joined Bucky, juggling his plate, two bagels, and a carton of orange juice.
The elevator dinged, and Tony and Natasha came into the kitchen.
“Good morning,” Bucky greeted, managing to dial his tone back so he didn’t end up chirping at them like he did to Steve.
Natasha nodded, and Tony gave him a grin and a wave.
“Ooh, coffee!” Tony buzzed over to the coffee machine that was already whirring away, his eyes wide with surprise. “It is a good morning!”
“I only just started it.” Bucky winced. “So it’ll take a minute yet.”
“My hero!”
Steve snorted. “He saved you maybe twenty seconds.”
“Do you know how long twenty seconds is to an engineer? That’s a fucking long time,” Tony chastised.
Bucky beamed. Tony gave him one of those smiles that made the corner of Tony’s eyes crinkle, and Bucky’s heart skipped a beat.
He loved that smile.
Bucky covered his mouth with a hand, just in case a petal was going to slip out. He thought you could usually tell - an itch in the throat, a little cough - but he wasn’t quite sure. He’d only heard the stories; he’d never actually coughed up petals before this morning.
Those had been his first petals, now drying out between the pages of a book.
Bucky swirled his spoon through his granola, watching Tony pull ingredients for a smoothie out of the fridge.
There wasn’t a question in Bucky’s mind about who he was coughing up petals for.
Natasha took a seat at the table with her bowl of cereal, always silent and frowning until she’d gotten through her first cup of coffee. Since the coffee hadn’t finished brewing yet, she ignored them all, focusing on floating her Cheerios onto her spoon.
Steve, unfortunately, was paying too much attention. Bucky didn’t like that smug twist to Steve’s mouth, as Steve shoveled another huge bite of eggs into his mouth and gave Bucky that look of knowing as he chewed.
Steve didn’t know shit. One petal-filled kiss with Peggy before Steve had gotten on that plane didn’t make Steve Rogers some sort of love connoisseur - quite the opposite, in fact, because Bucky had nagged Steve to make a move ages before that.
The punk certainly wasn’t going to help him. At least not by Bucky’s definition of helping, anyway.
Steve opened his mouth with that glint in his eye that usually meant something stupid was about to fall out, and so Bucky kicked him.
Hard.
Steve flinched, Tony turned to stare, and even Natasha raised an eyebrow.
Bucky relaxed back into his chair and shoveled a spoonful of granola into his mouth, unrepentant.
Tony’s lips twitched into a smile. “I’m sure that was deserved, but I suppose I should say no fighting at the breakfast table…?”
“‘S not a fight if I win after one hit,” Bucky mumbled around his mouthful. He grinned, knowing that he was preening under Tony’s continued attention, that everyone could see, and not giving a single shit.
Steve rubbed his leg, frowning. “You want a fight, then we can -”
“Take it to the sparring room. You supersoldiers dent enough of my furniture as it is,” Tony said with too much amusement.
Bucky shrugged, still grinning. He lost himself in Tony’s warm, fond gaze - Tony’s eyes were such a pretty brown, and he shouldn’t still be surprised by that, but he was - until Tony cleared his throat and broke the stare to go back to the blender and breakfast.
Bucky caught the knowing glance that Steve and Natasha shared, but brushed it off. It’s not like he wasn’t aware that he was completely gone for Tony - well, okay, the fact that he was coughing up petals was a bit of a surprise. Bucky hadn’t realized he’d gotten to that stage already.
But here he was, coughing up petals for Tony Stark.
A grinding sound, a clanging whir that shouldn’t come from Tony’s blender or the coffee machine, had Bucky turning back to the kitchen. Tony was standing over the sink, which meant it was the garbage disposal.
A futuristic invention that Bucky wouldn’t have thought he’d needed until he had one. It was very convenient, and Tony had been very thorough on training Bucky on how to use it.
“I thought you said you weren’t supposed to put leafy greens in the disposal?” Bucky frowned, confused as he saw the odds and ends of Tony’s smoothie ingredients getting dumped into the sink.
“What?” Tony didn’t turn. “Oh, um, right, yeah.” Tony continued running the disposal, hunched over the sink. “Do as I say, not as I do, and all that.”
Tony flipped the switch, stopping the garbage disposal from churning, and rubbed his mouth.
“Oh, hey, look! Coffee’s done.” Tony darted over and poured two mugs. He brought one over to Natasha and took a large gulp of the other. “Alright, well I should head to work. Future to discover and all that.”
“Don’t you want your smoothie?” Steve gestured to where the ingredients sat piled in the blender, not yet pulverized.
“Ah, right, sorry.” Tony dashed back to the blender and pushed a button.
Tony only waited a handful of seconds - the time it took for him to refill his coffee mug from the pot - before he unplugged the blender from the wall. He gathered the blender in one arm and then swiped his coffee mug.
“No time, forgot I had a thing. Have to take breakfast to go,” Tony said, striding out of the kitchen, coffee mug, blender and all. “Try not to set the Tower on fire!”
Bucky and Steve stared after him.
“At least he didn’t take the coffee machine.” Natasha drained the rest of her coffee and set it back on the table with a quiet clink.
Bucky didn’t want to think about how many people had fallen in love with Tony over the years or how many people had offered Tony their petals in the past. He was sure it was a lot, and Bucky wouldn’t say that he was anything special himself. Tony certainly deserved the best, but - but Bucky thought they could be good together, him and Tony. If Tony agreed. If Tony thought so too.
Which is why Bucky knew he had to do this right. He needed to impress Tony. As much as he could, anyway, considering Tony was a billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and superhero.
Sure, most people probably dated before they caught things as serious as feelings that would have them coughing up petals. Sure, that was still the more common way to do things, but wouldn’t it be more impressive if Bucky could showcase how committed he already was to Tony when he confessed?
Bucky had been dreaming of how to give his petals to his love since he was seven and he’d found his mom’s vase, full to the brim with dried petals carefully placed into an intricate pattern. But to get anywhere near that type of arrangement, he needed more petals, more proof of his affection. He wanted a showcase for Tony, something that showed Bucky was willing to cough up petals and keep coughing them up for as long as Tony would have him. Bucky wanted to see Tony’s gorgeous brown eyes sparkle with joy as Bucky handed him a mountain of colorful flower petals, arranged in a vase shaped like a car, maybe, or the arc reactor or, or- in a giant glass replica of the Iron Man armor itself.
That would take a lot of petals.
Which was why Bucky was sick to his stomach when he didn’t cough up petals for the rest of the day. There was no pressure in his chest, no tickle in his throat. All the coughing and hacking that he forced out of his body didn’t offer up any new flowery material.
There had been team dinner, and Bucky had told a joke that had made Tony laugh. No petals.
Bucky had stopped down in the workshop to say hi to DUM-E and also tinker with a car that Tony was letting Bucky play around with. Tony had been there, and they’d talked, and it was great. Still no petals.
Eventually Bucky had fled back to his room and his bookshelf, praying he hadn’t done something dumb like hallucinate his morning - but no, the petals were still there.
Bucky bit his lip and tried not to be worried. His feelings about Tony hadn’t changed, so why weren’t there any petals?
He fell asleep that night dreaming of Tony.
There were no petals on Bucky’s pillow the next morning. Bucky’s heart thumped heavily. He pulled back the sheets and shifted the pillows and did a thorough search to make sure, but there was nothing.
How was Bucky supposed to amass a worthy offering to Tony if Bucky couldn’t cough up any petals? Was he defective? Was three petals all that he could manage? Could Hydra have done something to him to mess this up? What if being frozen in cryo so many times had killed his ability to generate seeds in his heart, or didn’t allow flowers to take root in his lungs?
What would Bucky have to offer Tony if Bucky didn’t cough up any more petals?
Bucky could buy Tony flowers. There was a market for that - there were those who physically couldn’t cough up flowers and those who wanted to hide that their feelings had faded. Bucky hadn’t thought he’d ever need to buy petals for his love, but he also never thought he wouldn’t be able to cough up petals.
Yesterday couldn’t have been a fluke. It just couldn’t.
Bucky was going to cough up more petals for Tony.
He went up to the communal kitchen and made coffee for Tony again, this time getting enough of a headstart that he was able to hand the full mug over to Tony with a smile when he walked in.
He grabbed takeout from Tony’s favorite sandwich shop and surprised Tony with lunch. They ate in Tony’s office as they sat next to the window and enjoyed the view.
He sat next to Tony at team dinner, brushing arms and bumping elbows a bit more often than the situation called for .
Bucky was absolutely, no doubt about it, completely gone for Tony. He loved how he was able to relax with Tony, whether they were laughing together over some dirty joke or revealing some painful bit of their past trauma. He loved listening to Tony’s sass and Tony’s genius, and how Tony would actually listen when Bucky spoke in turn. He loved how decadent Tony could make a tailored suit look, but how laid back Tony was in a T-shirt and jeans - not to mention how Tony looked in the Iron Man armor.
So why wasn’t he coughing up petals?
Bucky went to bed in a fit of despair. He couldn’t even look at his bookshelf where his three petals still sat drying, too afraid that’s all they would ever be.
Bucky woke up coughing. His chest was on fire, his throat aching, and his mouth spewed petals. He coughed and coughed, barely getting a breath of air into his lungs before he was coughing again. Petals dropped from his mouth in a constant stream. There were petals everywhere. In his lap, his hair, all over his bed, and falling onto the floor. Bucky twisted over the side of the bed and coughed more petals onto the ground.
They were a rainbow of colors, reds and blues and purples and yellows. He shut his eyes as the color combination made him nauseated as he continued to cough. He wondered if this was how he would die, the Winter Soldier, the former Fist of Hydra - choked to death on flowers, with the taste of roses on his tongue.
Finally the stream stopped. He breathed, his lungs appreciating the unobstructed flow of air, and he rubbed at his throat.
He opened his eyes to see his floor covered in petals.
“Wow, you’ve got it bad.”
Bucky’s head jerked up to find Natasha standing at his doorway. Idly he noticed some of the petals drop from his hair to join the mess on the bed.
“What are you doing here?” Bucky blurted, spreading his arms as if he could somehow block Natasha from seeing all of his petals.
“JARVIS said your vitals were going crazy, so he raised the alarm. I guess I was closest.” Natasha sauntered in further, and Bucky cringed.
But he appreciated that she took special care to step around his petals, not crushing a single one.
Then Bucky’s brain caught up. “Alarm? Does that mean - does that mean Tony -?”
“Probably on his way,” Natasha confirmed.
“Shit!” Bucky tumbled out of his bed in a panic, ripping and tearing petals which broke his heart but not so much as the thought of Tony finding him in the middle of this. He wasn’t prepared, this was not how he wanted to tell Tony at all. “JARVIS, dismiss the alarm. Tell Tony I’m fine.”
Natasha rolled her eyes. “That’s not going to stop him.”
“Then help me!”
Bucky scooped up an armsful of petals from the floor. He looked around for a place to hide them, then started shoving them under the covers.
“I don’t have enough coffee in my bloodstream to deal with this yet. Adrenaline is the only reason I’m talking.”
Bucky sent her a pleading look.
She sighed. “Fine. I’ll get the vacuum -”
“No!” Bucky gave her a horrified look, though he didn’t pause in shoving petals under his bedsheets. “Don’t you dare! I need them!”
“You have a ton here. Tony doesn’t need all of them.”
“Put them in the bathtub,” Bucky ordered. “I need all of them. I’ve wrecked a bunch, and -”
“You could just let him find you in a pile of petals. Take off your clothes even. I’m sure he’d love it,” Natasha grumbled. She took off her hoodie and started scooping petals onto the fabric.
Bucky’s cheeks heated, but he didn’t pause in shoving petals into his sheets.
“I want to give them to him with intention,” Bucky insisted. “Not have him think it was an accident.”
Natasha rolled her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Romantic,” Bucky corrected.
“That’s what I said.”
Bucky shoved as many petals as he could under the sheets before it became too lumpy and suspicious, and then helped Natasha fill the bathtub. They raced against the clock, and Bucky used every bit of his enhanced speed to hide all the petals from his room before Tony arrived.
Bucky had plans, or, well, at least he knew he needed a plan. He wasn’t quite sure what the plan was going to be, but having Tony figure out that Bucky was coughing up petals before Bucky was ready with a proper bouquet that was worthy of Tony was absolutely not the plan.
There was a knock on the door.
“That’s how polite people enter rooms,” Bucky hissed to Natasha.
“I thought you were dying,” she hissed back.
“Bucky, are you okay?” Tony asked. “JARVIS said you were fine, but, uh, you weren’t earlier, so I just wanted to check.”
There were still petals on the floor, and Natasha bent to gather them up in her quick, nimble fingers as Bucky did the same. Bucky shoved his own handfuls into the nearest pillowcase and when he turned- Natasha was busy shoving them into her pockets.
Her pockets. She was crumpling them.
Bucky glared at her with every ounce of Winter Soldier intimidation he could muster.
“Your frosty face doesn’t scare me,” Natasha hissed, and finished shoving them into her pockets.
Bucky cleared his throat, brushed off his shirt, did a final sweep to check the sightlines from the door and where the petals were, and then cracked the door open.
“Hey,” Bucky greeted.
A sliver of Tony was visible, but Bucky could still see the concern in Tony’s gaze.
“Hey.” Tony attempted a smile. “You okay in there?”
Bucky considered his options. He was fairly good at lying, but this was a high pressure situation in which he was lying to Tony.
Best to keep this short.
“Uh, you know, I’m not feeling that great.” Bucky’s stomach was twisting with nerves, at least, and that didn’t feel good. Not entirely a lie. “But I’ll be okay. Thanks for checkin’ in.”
“Do you need anything? Can I get you - soup is a thing, right? Crackers and ginger ale? Oh, wait, with the serum - should I call Bruce and Helen?”
Bucky’s eyes widened. He tapped his forehead, the small bit that Tony could see.
Realization spread across Tony’s face, but then it deepened into concern.
“Do I need to - JARVIS said your vitals were crazy. I don’t want to leave you alone -”
“Nat’s here,” Bucky said quickly before Tony could offer to stay. Bucky hated turning Tony down, not when all Bucky wanted was for Tony to stay.
Except right now, Bucky needed to hide his petals from Tony.
Tony abruptly turned his face away from Bucky, and Bucky heart’s twisted. But all Tony did was clear his throat into his fist, then face Bucky again.
Though this time Tony’s face was carefully blank. Bucky winced.
“Oh, oh, okay. I’ll just - let me know if you need anything? I mean, I’m sure Nat has it covered, but if you -”
Steve burst into the hallway, sweat staining his running shirt and face twisted with concern.
“Bucky! Are you okay? JARVIS said -”
Bucky groaned inwardly.
Tony ducked back, letting Steve take his space, and Bucky watched as Tony slinked away with his shoulders drooped.
Bucky banged his forehead against the door, ignoring both Steve’s questions and attempts to push into the room.
“Are you sure that was better than my plan of you getting naked?” Natasha asked from inside the room.
“What?!” Steve squawked.
Bucky sighed.
Bucky couldn’t skip movie night. Skipping movie night meant Bucky was in emergency levels of trouble, and that would just get Steve knocking down his door again asking for another, better explanation for what had happened this morning.
So, Bucky dragged himself up to the common area, tucked into the corner of the couch, and readied himself for whatever low-rate comedy horror movie Clint had decided on. Bucky just hoped it wasn’t the one with the murderous tire wheel again. Sometimes Clint enjoyed torturing the rest of them with rewatching a previous pick.
Steve handed over a bowl of popcorn, and Bucky took it with a grateful smile. Sam plopped down next to him, jostling his bowl, and Bucky scowled.
Sam smirked and tossed a handful of popcorn from his own bowl into his mouth.
“You ready to waste two hours of your life?” Sam asked.
“Do we know what he picked?”
“Yeah, some dumb -”
“Quiet,” Natasha hissed from the loveseat next to Bucky. “He might change it to something worse.”
“I heard that, Tasha,” Clint sing-songed as he waltzed in with a bag of pretzels in one hand and cheetos in the other. “And what movie strikes fear into the heart of our resident Black Widow?”
“JoJo Rabbit,” Natasha answered smoothly. “I would hate to watch that film.”
Clint snorted. “Nice try. JARVIS, please queue up The Toxic Avenger.”
Natasha groaned.
“It’s totally relevant to our life!” Clint insisted.
Sam showed Bucky his phone with the movie synopsis displayed, but then Bruce started reading aloud from his own phone.
“A mild-mannered janitor falls into a vat of toxic waste and becomes a benevolent monster?” Bruce’s voice was dry. “I’m not feeling too hot on this one.”
“Please, Brucie. Please please please!”
Bruce winced. “Well -”
“That’s a green card, I’m calling it,” Tony said from where he was wrapped up in at least three blankets in an armchair.
“It’s a cult classic,” Clint protested.
“And any of us can veto for our personal comfort levels. You should’ve submitted your movie ahead of time instead of surprising us with garbage you literally pulled out of the dumpster in the alley between Pizza Luce and your favorite dive bar. No, don’t try to deny it, I have witnessed it myself, ” Tony sniffed.
Clint turned to Steve, his face pleading.
Steve shook his head. “Tony’s right.”
“Say that again, would you? I couldn’t hear you,” Tony said.
Steve rolled his eyes.
“Well, I mean, it might be fine -” Bruce started.
“Nope! Green card! Hulk decided,” Tony protested loudly. “No Toxic Avenger. I know, we’re all distraught.”
Bucky hid his snicker behind his hand. Sam elbowed him, but Sam was also grinning.
“Clint if you don’t have another choice then I think it’s my turn,” Sam said.
Clint pouted. “You’re all mean. Fine, I have a second choice. I hope you all enjoy Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, then!”
Bucky groaned along with the rest of the Avengers. Clint sniffed and pivoted into the armchair to prepare his snacks for consumption.
Bucky curled up in his corner, cupping his bowl of popcorn, and readied himself for Clint’s latest terrible movie.
Only, while Clint’s movies tended to be terrible, Bucky still enjoyed them. Not the movie itself, but the way the rest of the Avengers, even Clint, would heckle what was happening on screen.
“You know, this is really making me want a grilled cheese sandwich,” Tony commented as tomato juice - or whatever it was supposed to be - splashed on screen.
“You’re a cruel man. Making tomato soup? Can you not see these tomatoes are sentient?” Clint chided.
“And killing people!” Tony prostested.
Steve shook his head. “I’m with Clint. It sounds weirdly cannibalistic.”
“Excuse me if I’m not identifying with the serial killer tomatoes,” Tony hissed.
Bucky bit his lip to keep in his snort of laughter. His breath hitched, and he hiccuped quietly. Petals coated his tongue, and Bucky froze.
He canvassed the room, a slow careful glance that didn’t draw attention that he was monitoring everyone. He raised a hand to his face, scratched his chin, and then spat the petals into his hand.
Sam nudged him. “You doing alright?”
“Yeah?” Bucky gave Sam a confused look.
He dropped his hand with the petals into the popcorn bowl. His pockets - Natasha’s impromptu hiding spot was the best he could do, even if it did leave him with crumpled petals - was too awkward a reach if Sam was watching. Bucky buried the petals under the popcorn, and then took a few kernels and popped them into his mouth.
He went back to watching the movie, or at least looking at it. He tried hard not to watch Tony out of the corner of his eye.
Sam reached over to take a handful of his popcorn.
“What the fuck?” Bucky hissed, jerking his bowl away.
“Dude, come on! Mine’s empty and yours is still full, learn to share.”
“Get your own.” Bucky covered his bowl with his arms, glaring at Sam.
He didn’t want Sam to grab the petals, and he also didn’t want to lose his popcorn cover.
Sam sat back, but his gaze was too calculating. He was clearly waiting for an opportunity.
Bucky snapped his teeth at Sam in challenge.
“What the hell are you two doing?” Steve sighed.
Clint shushed them all, but the group’s gaze turned to where Bucky was crouched over his bowl with Sam lying in wait beside him.
“Bucky forgot how to share,” Sam said. “Again.”
“I don’t have to share,” Bucky said.
“Oh my God,” Natasha muttered. “I work with children.”
“You love us,” Clint crowed.
Steve sighed again, this time heavier. “Sam, Bucky doesn’t have to share his popcorn.”
“We have plenty of popcorn. I have a budget line for movie night snacks. I can buy enough of everything so no one has to share ever again,” Tony defended.
“That’s not the point,” Sam insisted. “Oh, fine! Snack run, anybody want anything?”
Sam levered himself off the couch as the rest of the Avengers called out orders to him.
“Could you get me more popcorn, Sam?” Bucky asked innocently. He shook his bowl. “I’m running low.”
Sam snarled. “I’m gonna spit in it.”
“Steve, Sam’s being mean to me.”
Tony laughed, a quiet chuckle that got louder as Steve groaned and Sam stomped off. Bucky grinned, pleased he made Tony laugh, but then Tony buried his head under the blankets which hid his face and muffled the laughter.
When Tony’s head popped back up again, his cheeks were red and he looked out of breath, all traces of laughter gone.
Bucky swallowed a sigh and stirred the popcorn kernels, making sure his petals remained hidden underneath.
Bucky quickly ran out of books in which to dry his petals, and he still had an overwhelming amount of petals in his bathtub. He could buy more books, but also apparently that process took weeks. Weeks. Did Bucky really want to wait weeks to ask Tony out?
Though it might take him weeks to come up with both a good plan and courage.
In the meantime, he needed to dry out his petals. Some were starting to wilt, some were already torn and dirty, and Bucky was going to need his shower back at some point.
The oven it was, though the thought made his heart pound. The internet was confident that roasting the petals in the oven would work great, but what if Bucky burned them? What if his love for Tony Stark just curled up into a blackened burnt mess and Bucky had nothing to show Tony?
A small batch to test first, he decided.
He picked out four petals, the most he could bring himself to risk. These had rips in them, their edges starting to curl. He winced as he laid them spaced out on a baking sheet.
He slipped them into the pre-heated oven and sent up a prayer to whoever was listening.
He wanted this to be perfect for Tony.
Bucky stared at the oven and watched as minute after minute ticked by. Ten to thirty minutes was a wide fucking range, and he had no idea where his would be.
“Hey, so I wanted to ask -”
Bucky whirled around, his hand slipping to his back for the knife he always carried.
Tony stood there at the entrance to the kitchen, wide-eyed but also amused.
“Did I startle you?” Tony looked pleased. “Can we mark this down for history somewhere? J, put it in my calendar will you?”
“Hi Tony.” Bucky’s throat felt tight, and he tried to swallow. “What do you need?”
“Oh, it’s just - when you’re free, if you want, could you range-test some guns? I tried a few modifications and I want your feedback.”
“Sure, of course. But - I mean, I’m in the middle of something right now, so -” Bucky bit his lip. He wanted Tony to stay, because he always wanted Tony to stay, but right now he desperately needed Tony to walk away. “Give me a few minutes?”
“No rush, of course, it’s fine.” Tony shrugged, his smile lop-sided. “I should’ve emailed. I would’ve, I guess, but I wanted to - well, next time I’ll just shoot you an email.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Bucky assured. “All good. Just need to… take these cookies out of the oven! And then I’ll be right with you.”
“Cookies?” Tony’s eyes light up. “Can I have one?”
“Yes, of course, I mean - after they’ve cooled. And they’re good enough. I’m testing out a new recipe, and they might taste like shit so-”
“I can test! I’m a cookie expert, and I have a discerning palate that could be very helpful to you in the improvement process.”
Bucky raised an eyebrow. “You once mixed up cardamom and cayenne.”
“They start the same,” Tony defended. “So they have to be similar, right? Besides, neither of those end up in cookies.” Tony frowned. “Wait - they don’t, right?”
Bucky smiled, and he wondered if that was the edge of a petal that was tickling his throat. He wondered if Tony would like a cookie-shaped arrangement of petals - except no, that was just a circle. But what if - and Bucky had an idea.
Tony loved cookies. Bucky could take Tony out to one of the cookie cafes to ply the man with his favorite combination of coffee and sweets. Then Bucky could give him a cookie frosted into a rose - bakeries always had flower themed cookies available for precisely these reasons - along with a vase of petals, and then Bucky could confess his feelings. An arc reactor vase to start with, as Bucky had enough petals to fill that. Then he could say how he wanted an entire Iron Man armor replica to fill with petals that showcased his love for Tony.
And hopefully Tony’s eyes would light up, just like they were now. And hopefully Tony would say yes, he wanted to date Bucky too, and even if Tony wasn’t coughing up petals yet, that was fine - normal, even - but Tony might say yes to the possibility of that happening and -
Bucky could see it, and the hope bubbled in his chest and warmed him through.
Which is exactly when the Avengers alarm blared, chilling Bucky like an icy wind.
They both jumped.
“Apologies for the interruption, but we have a level three threat in Europe,” JARVIS announced.
Tony cursed and raced for the elevator. Bucky turned the oven off and used a mitt to grab his tray of petals out of the oven.
The petals were curling black at the edges, too long unattended.
Bucky swore and chucked them in the trash before he strode for his gear.
Slime creatures. They just had to battle slime creatures.
The city of Lisbon would be cleaning up their streets for days, but fortunately that wasn’t Bucky’s problem anymore. The slime creatures that crawled out from the ocean - and exactly where and how also wasn’t Bucky’s problem, that was Bruce’s - were taken care of. Bullets hadn’t done much, so it had been a rather hands-on battle. Cleaning his left arm was going to take hours.
And Bucky still had a bathtub full of petals back at his place.
He sank onto the bench, ignoring the rest of the Avengers as they trudged into the quinjet. He fumbled with the strap on his mask before he paused.
He couldn’t remove the mask. The Iron Man armor always caught his eye, even during battle, and he’d coughed up a few petals that were now stuck inside the mask. That very possibility had been why he’d put on the mask in the first place, though it’d had the added benefit of keeping the slime out of his mouth on this particular occasion.
He’d been breathing rose-scented air for so long he’d forgotten. But Tony was here, along with the rest of the Avengers. Everyone would know.
His fingers dropped into his lap, and he kept quiet the whole flight home.
Steve kept shooting him concerned looks. Bucky was sure it was the combination of the inadequate explanation for JARVIS’ alarm the other morning and now the refusal to take off the mask. But Steve didn’t need to know about the petals. Not yet, because Steve would be an asshole about it and probably do something dumb like tell Tony.
Bucky didn’t want Steve to tell Tony, he wanted to tell Tony. He just needed to dry enough of his petals to give Tony a beautiful arrangement when Bucky asked Tony to the cookie cafe.
But he could still use Steve’s concern to his advantage.
“Hey.” Bucky bumped Steve’s shoulder, as Steve had non-subtly hung back to walk with Bucky. “Can I borrow your shower?”
“Yeah, of course!” Steve frowned. “Wait - why?”
“Something’s wrong with mine, haven’t gotten around to getting it fixed.”
“Oh, that’s easy enough.” Steve smirked. “Hey Tony!”
“No, shut up -”
Tony whirled around and Bucky clenched his fists so that he didn’t punch Steve. He could hold himself back until Tony turned his back again.
“Bucky’s shower is broken. Mind taking a look?”
“Oh, yeah, sorry, of course. That’s like - urgent maintenance.” Tony was apologetic, as if it was his fault that Bucky’s shower was broken.
Or, about to be broken. Bucky hid a sigh.
“I’ll get right on that,” Tony assured.
“No, it’s fine. You, uh, take care of the armor and do whatever. It can wait.”
Until after Bucky had moved his rose petals and broken the shower, or somehow managed to convince Tony that it was all working fine and no, Tony didn’t need to double-check anything.
“You can use mine, if you want,” Tony offered. “I was going to pop down into the workshop to get the armor set for deep cleaning anyway. There’s a shower down there I can use.”
“Yeah, thanks. That - that’d be great.”
Standing in the same place that Tony got naked on a frequent basis. That wasn’t going to be difficult at all. And then Bucky was going to smell like Tony, if Bucky used Tony’s soaps and -
Steve nudged him. “You aren’t going to offer to let him join you?”
Steve’s voice was low, and Tony had already headed back inside. Bucky was the only one to hear him, thank Christ.
Bucky turned and punched Steve in the arm with his left hand.
“What the hell was that for?” Steve yelped, rubbing his arm.
“You are not helping,” Bucky snarled and then stomped inside.
Tony’s shower was nothing like Bucky’s own. Bucky’s shower was the classic tub and shower combination that Bucky was used to, even if it was twice the size anyone really needed their shower to be. There was no tub to be seen in Tony’s, and Bucky spotted at least three drains across the floor so that water would never pool.
And turning on the water was more complicated than Bucky expected.
There was a digital panel with an entire array of buttons, and Bucky couldn’t resist poking them all. Lights brightened, dimmed, and even changed the damn colors to a deeper blue. Water rained down from above, and then also from the side, and then it turned into more of a light mist and the last one led to the smell of a rainforest filling up the room and -
Bucky needed to stop messing with the settings and take a damn shower before he sloughed off all of his slime straight onto the floor. The worst of his gear was left in the hangar, his mask and petals stored in his locker when he’d finally gotten a moment alone, but he had no idea what his hair was like and was too afraid to touch it and find out.
He pressed a few more times and got something that looked like a normal shower, at least. He finished undressing and stepped in before he yelped and scrambled back out.
The water was freezing.
“For fuck’s sake!”
“If I may be of assistance, Mr. Stark has a preset that may be acceptable for your use,” JARVIS said.
Bucky froze, his gaze darting around for the cameras.
“I’d appreciate that,” Bucky said. “But then after, would it be possible to, uh, turn off the visuals? Nothin’ against you. Just make me feel better.”
“I assure you there is currently no visual feed. My protocols are set to audio only and since this is your first time in Mr. Stark’s personal bathroom, I wished to offer my assistance. I will be dormant after this unless you specifically call for me.”
Bucky didn’t see any cameras, but he didn’t doubt that Tony had them. It wasn’t paranoia if they were really out to get you, and Bucky had done too many hits for Hydra that took place in bathrooms because people didn’t expect assassins to stoop to the level of killing someone while they were taking a shit.
Still, Bucky trusted that JARVIS would do as he said and tried not to be too concerned.
“Then yeah, the preset sounds nice. As long as it isn’t freezing?”
“The arrows on the upper left of the panel will change the water temperature if Mr. Stark’s settings are not satisfactory.”
“Thanks.”
Water only came from one nozzle in the corner, leaving the rest of the spacious shower dry with none of the fancy jets or colors or scents. Bucky smiled and shook his head. He reached over and tested the temperature, turned it up a few degrees, and then hopped in.
The pressure was perfect, and Bucky tilted his head into the hot spray.
Maybe one day Bucky could shower here with Tony. No, nope, not going down that path because -
Bucky hiccuped and his mouth filled with the taste of rose. He spat out the petals so they were out of the way of the spray. Orange and yellow petals gleamed brightly against the soft brown of the tiled floor.
He really hoped those cameras weren’t active.
Bucky grabbed one of Tony’s soaps, tried not to think about smelling like Tony, and got to the nasty business of scrubbing the slime off of himself.
Bucky’s fingers were pruned by the time he was rinsing shampoo from his hair for what he hoped was the last and final time. He felt clean enough, anyway, and even his metal plates didn’t seem too terrible after being in the shower so long. He’d stop by in the workshop later for a deeper clean, where Tony would turn off the sensors so Bucky didn’t feel like water was pulverizing him to his very bones.
“Sgt. Barnes, my apologies for interrupting, but Mr. Stark is requesting access to your floor to evaluate the situation with your shower.”
Bucky bit back his yelp. He didn’t want JARVIS to hear him panic.
“No, not - not yet, please. I need to… do some cleaning,” Bucky rambled as he did a last check to be sure he’d removed all the soap.
Bucky looked longingly at the conditioner that Tony had on his shelf. Bucky bet it was super fancy and would make his hair feel great, but now he didn’t have time.
“JARVIS, if you could turn the shower off for me please I’d appreciate it.”
Bucky scooped up his flower petals from the floor and stashed them in with his clothes. The towels weren’t hard to find, and Bucky hastily scrubbed himself dry. He threw the towel around his waist, grabbed the rest of his stuff, and dashed out of Tony’s bathroom.
He crashed straight into Tony himself, though it was Tony who staggered back. Bucky reached out a helping hand, but Tony recovered without falling.
“Shit, sorry, I thought -” that Tony would already be waiting at Bucky’s door, tools in hand. “Wasn’t paying attention. Sorry,” Bucky tried to recover.
“Yeah, hi. I’m here and you’re - clean.”
Tony’s gaze darted up to meet Bucky’s, and Tony was smiling. Bucky’s heart thumped hard, and he was conscious of the bright colored rose petals that were tangled up in his armful of clothing somewhere.
He brought his ball of clothes close to his chest.
“Very clean.” Bucky grinned back. “Your shower is - damn, it’s great.”
“Anytime you want to - I mean, I can upgrade your own shower, if you want. Since it needs fixing anyway.”
“Oh, I -” the towel slipped against Bucky’s hips, and he snatched at the knot at his waist to keep the towel there.
Tony’s eyes followed the motion, and Bucky was suddenly very aware that he was naked and flushed in Tony’s bedroom, with Tony, and that Tony’s bed was only feet away.
Bucky would bet the sheets would be a cool refreshment on his skin after his hot shower.
There were rose petals in his grasp, somewhere. He could fish them out, present them to Tony. Tony’s eyes would light up, and then darken, and Bucky could drop the towel, and then Tony could back Bucky over to the bed and -
No. No, Bucky had a plan.
Though if Bucky was in his own bedroom, he might just throw a bucket of his rose petals over the bed and ask if Tony would also like to see how the petals looked against Tony’s skin as much as Bucky did.
The way Tony’s gaze slowly dragged its way back to Bucky’s face gave Bucky hope. If only he didn’t need to show Tony how serious he was.
Bucky was in deep, and he didn’t want out. He just wanted Tony to join him there, if Tony wanted to.
“Thanks,” Bucky said, piecing back together what they’d been talking about. Bucky’s shower. Which Bucky now had to go break, as well as figure out somewhere else to hide his rose petals.
Bucky chewed on his lip, stalling. His hair dripped water on his shoulders, and he shivered at the sensation.
“Oh, sorry, I should -” Tony darted to the side, not even an inch of his body between Bucky and the door now. “- let you get clothes. For wearing. Dressed, you should get dressed. I’ll uh, be by later about your shower?”
“Now that I’m clean - the arm!” Bucky almost snapped his fingers with the idea, but he had his towel in one hand and clothes in the other. “Can we clean my arm? Not sure I got all the gunk out of it.”
“Of course! Should’ve realized - yeah, I’ll meet you down in the workshop, does that work? After - after you get dressed, with clothes, like I said.” Tony’s hands twitched at his sides.
“Yes, yeah, that’s perfect. I’ll meet you there.”
Bucky gave Tony a decisive nod and marched out of Tony’s bedroom. As soon as he made it to the elevator and the doors closed behind him, he leaned back against the wall and let out a breath of relief.
Bucky relaxed on his stool next to the table. Tony had popped open one of the panels and was working to turn off the sensory input before Bucky stuck his arm down into the equivalent of a pressure washer.
Tony was focused and in his element, absently whistling a tune.
Bucky smiled and kept his jaw clenched shut. He felt the tickle in his throat.
Having Tony right there, his touch soft but sure, was going right to Bucky’s head. He couldn’t stop thinking about the petals in his bathtub, about crafting a bouquet for Tony, about the hypothetical date at the cookie cafe.
Tony switched from whistling to mumbling words, half-singing as he peered into the confines of Bucky’s metal arm.
Bucky’s throat spasmed, and he coughed. His right hand came up to block his mouth, polite manners masking the petals that brushed past his lips. Bucky gathered them in his fist and dropped his hand.
Tony was still singing as he worked.
Bucky smiled and casually slipped his hand into his pocket. Fuck, he hated crumpling his petals, but what choice did he have?
DUM-E whirled over, beeping a hello, and Bucky held out a hand for a high-five.
DUM-E bumped Bucky’s hand, did a twirl, and then lowered his arm to the ground.
“Don’t you dare come any closer,” Tony muttered, breaking his song. “Do not bump me or Bucky right now, I’m in the middle of a very delicate operation here, so you can -”
Bucky’s ears roared, drowning out the rest of Tony’s words. DUM-E had a petal pinched in his claw.
Bucky reached out for it, but DUM-E whirled away, back into the workshop.
“Shit,” Bucky hissed quietly.
“Mm? What? You’re all tense, I need you to relax,” Tony said, poking at Bucky’s ribs. “Relax, breathe. What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing, nothing,” Bucky said, trying to relax, trying to breathe. Slowly the tension drained from his body, but Bucky couldn’t help tracking DUM-E with his eyes. “Sorry.”
“No worries. You need a break? Snack, or something? I know you get the munchies, especially after battles.”
Tony pushed away from Bucky, not giving time for a response. His momentum on his chair had him careening into the far table, where Tony dug in the desk drawer until he pulled out a pint of blueberries and a bag of nuts.
Tony crowed in success as he pushed himself back across the floor to Bucky.
“Thanks.” Bucky picked over Tony’s blueberries. Most of them were okay, so they couldn’t have been in the drawer that long. “You want any?”
Tony popped a few in his mouth, then went back to Bucky’s metal arm. “Almost done, just hold tight for a moment.”
“Sure, yeah. Really, I’m fine.”
They had done this a few times before to clean Bucky’s arm. It took a skilled touch, as Bucky didn’t want just anyone to be able to deaden his arm, but right now time seemed to drag.
DUM-E rolled around the back of the workshop, and Bucky could still see the petal clutched in his claw.
Bucky glanced at Tony, who seemed absorbed back into the wiring, and so Bucky motioned for DUM-E to come to him.
DUM-E beeped in acknowledgement and whirled closer.
Closer, closer. DUM-E wasn’t usually this slow, could be downright speedy when his wheels are properly greased, but he took his time and beeped the whole way.
“What are you so chatty about, huh?” Tony muttered.
Bucky bit his lip, his heart racing. If Tony turned around, he’d see the petal in DUM-E’s claw. He urged DUM-E closer, hoping that Tony needed a few more moments of concentration.
“And done,” Tony said, popping the panel closed. “Let’s get you over to the cleaners and -”
Bucky could only watch in horror as Tony saw the rose petal in DUM-E’s claw.
Tony’s face went bright red, then drained to an alarmingly pale color.
“You know what to do with that,” Tony said, his voice flat and cold.
Bucky sat frozen in his chair, his stomach dropping.
Tony turned away from DUM-E abruptly. His fingers shook before he gripped the edge of the table so hard his knuckles turned white.
DUM-E beeped, sad and questioning.
“Don’t back-talk me. You’re trained for this.”
Bucky cleared his throat. No petals came into his mouth. “What does he do with petals?”
Tony snorted. “Throws them away.”
Bucky’s jaw clenched. He stared at the cement floor of the workshop.
Tony didn’t want petals. Tony didn’t want a relationship. With anyone, it seemed, least of all Bucky.
DUM-E lowered his arm and slowly whirled away.
“Anyway, let’s get you cleaned up.” Tony’s voice was flat and tired.
“Right, right.” Bucky got up off the chair and took a few steps over to the equipment Tony had repurposed for Bucky, his heart hammering in his chest, his right hand clenching and unclenching as he came to an abrupt decision.
He whirled around. “Wait. I, uh, I want it.”
“What?” Tony blinked at him, a screwdriver spinning from one hand to the other.
“My rose petal. I want it. Please. Before DUM-E throws it away.”
Tony was the first person that Bucky had coughed up petals for. That meant something special to Bucky, that Tony was the first and also that it was Tony. Bucky would have to stop, eventually. He’d need to figure out how to stop for his own sanity, if Tony didn’t want to return his feelings.
But Bucky wanted this keepsake. He didn’t need to give it to Tony, not if Tony was going to throw it away. Bucky would keep it until Bucky was ready to give it up.
Tony’s eyes went big, and he fumbled the screwdriver. “You - you want it?” Tony’s voice was hoarse.
“Yes, I do.” Bucky tilted his chin up. He refused to be humiliated in wanting it. “It’s mine.”
Tony flushed. “Bucky -”
DUM-E came around a back corner of the workshop, dragging a cardboard box that was almost as tall as he was. His beeps were bright and cheery, and he zoomed over to Bucky with the box.
“What the hell is that? I don’t like this, no, don’t, don’t, don’t -” Tony leaped at the box, but DUM-E didn’t let go. They struggled with it, Tony trying to drag it back and DUM-E trying to drag it to Bucky.
The cardboard ripped, and rose petals spilled out. The hole widened, and more and more petals streamed onto the floor. Deep, rich blue ones. Pure white ones. Pinks and reds and purples and oranges and all manner of colors.
Tony gave up, turning around and refusing to look at them. DUM-E whirled, careful to avoid the petals on the floor, and dumped the residual pile that had remained in the box over Bucky’s head.
“Well, you said you wanted them.” Tony sighed.
The scent of roses was almost sickly, there were so many of them. There had to be hundreds, thousands of them.
Bucky’s shock wasn’t so great that he didn’t catch the vulnerable hunch of Tony’s shoulders.
“I said I wanted mine,” Bucky said slowly. He licked his lips and waited for Tony to correct him.
Tony didn’t.
“The one I coughed up. Just now,” Bucky continued.
Tony’s shoulders tensed. DUM-E let out a long beep of understanding, and started searching through the petals on the floor.
Bucky stared at Tony, wanting Tony to turn around. Wanting to see Tony’s face.
“Oh. Oh, right. That would make sense. I - um, if you give us an hour, maybe two, then I’m sure we can find it.” Tony did turn around then, with a smile on his face that didn’t match his eyes. “Apologies for the confusion.”
Bucky bit his lip. There were so many petals on the floor. Tony had to have been coughing up petals for weeks, months. Bucky hadn’t known. Tony hadn’t told him.
Tony hadn’t given Bucky the petals, not really.
DUM-E held out a petal in his claw, a deep red one.
Bucky took it, even as he said, “That’s not it, but close. Thanks.”
DUM-E beeped and continued searching.
Bucky felt the softness of the petal between his fingers.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Tony’s smile twisted into something that Bucky really didn’t like.
“I learned a long time ago that no one wanted my flowers, so no hard feelings, Snowflake. These were - DUM-E was supposed to throw them away.”
The petal was beautiful and delicate, but Bucky wondered why he’d waited for them for so long. Why he held up, just for this.
He stepped toward Tony. “I said I wanted them.” His heart squeezed as he said the words, but he was sure.
He wanted the flowers that grew in Tony’s heart and came out of Tony’s mouth, and he wanted to give his own to Tony.
Or, fuck the flowers. Bucky just wanted Tony, but Tony still looked wary. Bucky strode toward him, his sights set and his mind decided.
“I was going to ask you out to the cookie cafe. There’s one on Broadway. I was going to stuff you with coffee and cookies, and then, at the end, hand over a rose frosted cookie and a vase of flower petals.” Bucky walked right up to Tony and got in his face. “Petals that I’ve been coughing up for you. Haven’t even gotten a second to order that arc reactor vase I’ve been eyein’. Won’t hold as many as yours, not yet, but - but I’m willing to keep gathering. Get a bigger container. If you want ‘em.”
Tony’s eyes were big and brown and so full of emotion that Bucky couldn’t help but swell with hope.
Tony turned away and coughed violently. Petals spewed out of Tony’s mouth onto the floor, and Bucky watched in wonder.
Tony wheezed and wiped his mouth. “Sorry, was holding that one back for awhile. Not nearly as sexy as the movies make it look, huh?”
“I’ll take ‘em if you want to give ‘em to me.”
DUM-E offered Bucky another petal.
“Nope, sorry bud. Try again,” Bucky said, smiling.
Tony took the petal from DUM-E. “Yours are really for me?”
“They’re for you,” Bucky assured.
Bucky wasn’t going to tell Tony that they were the first petals that Bucky had ever coughed up, not quite yet.
“I should find you a better container than a ripped cardboard box then. Oh, hang on, what if I got you a car sized one, like the Audi - that’s your favorite, right?”
Bucky laughed. “Whatever you want, doll. I’ll need something bigger for you, too. I’m going to catch up to you, just you wait.”
Bucky looked down at the colorful spread at their feet. He pulled out the petals that he’d stashed earlier in his pocket, crumpled and all, and tipped his hand to add them to the pile.
Tony caught them, swooping them up and cradling them in his palm.
“Sorry, I uh, like the thought, but I really want these. Please,” Tony asked, as if Bucky would say no.
“They’re yours,” Bucky said softly. “And, I think, so am I.”
Bucky leaned the last few inches and pressed his lips to Tony’s.
The kiss tasted like roses - until Bucky dived down deep and found just Tony.