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Professor Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan has been working at the University of London for nearly four years when he meets Zolf Smith.
He knew that Oscar Wilde from the English department, who he has a fairly calm, but slightly odd relationship with, had a significant other. Well, Oscar introduced Zolf as his partner, a little while ago and Hamid knows that both Zolf and Oscar are polyamorous, because it was one of the first conversations that he had with Wilde. But he has never spoken to Zolf until tonight, this lecture event that the English department has put on. Hamid is here to support Wilde, whom he considers a friend now, but also because the lecture was actually interesting. But now, the lecture is over, letting the academics talk over cheap wine. Oscar has wandered off to schmooze, leaving Zolf with Hamid.
“So, um, how long have you known Oscar?” he tries, sipping at the somewhat terrible wine they serve at these events.
“Oh, um,” Zolf looks completely out of place, well-dressed but his clipped West Country accent and long beard makes him look very odd next to the stuffy academics. “We’ve been dating for a couple of years. How long has you known him?”
“A few years, though I suppose we haven’t really had the smoothest of relationships,” Hamid laughs a little, almost shyly. “Physics and English don’t exactly always connect, despite the fact that our offices are actually rather close.”
“He’s been talking about you recently,” Zolf says and Hamid blinks. “Just, um, that you’ve been good to him. He’s terrible at looking after himself.”
“Oh, is this about the fact that I sent him home after he fell asleep at his desk two days ago?” Zolf laughs and Hamid’s heart thuds in his chest.
Oh fuck, Zolf is actually rather pretty.
The way that the artificial light catches on Zolf’s sea green eyes is a little dazzling and the slightly wry way he smiles is alluring. Perhaps he has been drinking too much.
“Yeah, he’s an idiot,” Zolf says, rolling his eyes. “I love him though.” They are both quiet for a moment, sipping the wine.
“So, you’re a nurse?” Hamid says, weakly, but Zolf perks up.
“Yeah, have been a while. I really appreciate the work. I just like to help people, I guess. Feel a lot more at home in A+E at the worst time of night than here,” he mutters but Hamid smiles. He completely understands that.
“Well, um, follow me.” Hamid drains the rest of his wine and leads Zolf out of the side door, just into the small court beside the English building. As soon as they are out of the foyer, free from the professors and academics, Zolf slumps.
“Thanks, Hamid.”
“It’s alright, I understand. Never quite felt accepted either.” Academia is still a tough place for a queer, transgender man of colour, even now.
“I appreciate you, um, I appreciate that you could see I was uncomfortable.” Zolf isn’t looking at him, staring up at the sky which is almost bright with the stars.
“It’s really fine,” Hamid says quietly, tilting his head up to stare at the moon. “The stars are rather beautiful tonight.”
“Mmhm. Do you know the constellations very well, Hamid?” Zolf asks quietly, leant back on the wall of the building.
“Yes,” Hamid replies. “I’m a physicist; stars are part of my thing. Not that I teach astronomy really. But it was what interested me in physics at first, when I was a kid.” Zolf gives half a laugh.
“Oh, that’s very fair. I learnt them whilst I was with the navy.” Zolf points at Sirius which Hamid picks out immediately. “Can always use the Dog Star to guide me home.”
“Betelguese was always important for me,” Hamid murmurs, reaching out to shift Zolf’s hand up to the Red Giant. “When I first moved from Egypt, I was very homesick. And the thing which kept me going was that I could always find Betelguese… it was static. Comforting. And the science behind it is fascinating.” Zolf doesn’t move away when Hamid touches him which he likes.
“I can understand that. I’ve lived in London for a good few years now, but still…”
“You feel like an outsider?” They meet eyes for a second and Hamid can feel his cheeks heating up. Zolf nods, slowly lowering their hands. “Well, the stars are always here.”
“Yes. No matter where I was or have been, they are still there. You must have a favourite obscure constellation, as a physicist?” Zolf asks quietly.
“Mmm, honestly, I have more of a connection to Orion than anything, but I also like Ursa Major?” Hamid admits, feeling a little awkward that they’re really not as obscure as Zolf was hoping. Their hands are still touching, lightly brushing over each other. Zolf hums a little, still staring up at the stars.
“Both good constellations.” They stand there in the cool night air for a few long, quiet moments. Hamid sneaks glances at Zolf, at the way his face is almost peaceful like this, at the way he favours his right leg to support him, at the way the starlight washes him in silver.
And Hamid knows he has a crush on Zolf Smith.
“Alright, who is it?” Oscar says, a slightly roguish smile on his face. His head is in Zolf’s lap, peering up under the book that the dwarf is reading. It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon, one of the few that Zolf has had off and so he’s spending it happily with his other half and flicking through an old Harrison Campbell book.
“Who’s what?” Zolf asks, frowning down at the man.
“Who’s the new person you’re into? In all the years we’ve been dating, you’ve never seen anyone else. But recently, you’ve been mooning around, grinning at your phone at odd times. Who is it?” Oscar’s eyes are alight with excitement and Zolf falls in love with him all over again. He makes loving him so easy. He’s just so happy for Zolf, that he has found someone else to love.
“No one,” he mutters stubbornly, going back to his book, but Oscar isn’t put off that easily. He nudges Zolf’s book down.
“Tell me,” he purrs, grinning so widely.
“No, Oscar. It’s nothing.”
“It isn’t nothing, Zolf! I know you too well for that. Who is it?” he wheedles, sitting up so he looms over the dwarf, his smile only getting wider. Zolf scowls. He knows that Oscar will continue to push, so he might as well just tell him.
“Hamid.”
“Hamid!?” Oscar yelps excitedly. “Hamid the physics professor? Hamid al-Tahan?”
“How many other Hamid’s do you know?” Zolf mutters, burying his face in Wilde’s shoulder to hide his flush.
“Aw, but this is great! Hamid is such a sweetheart. And I can wingman!” Oscar is stroking his hair, humming excitedly. “We didn’t see eye to eye for a while, but he’s lovely really. Or, he is now.”
“Oscar please,” Zolf groans, trying to act like he’s not bright red.
“And he’s so beautiful,” Wilde sighs a little. “He always wears suits and looks perfect and his hair sits just right and… oh shit.”
Zolf knows that sound. Zolf knows that feeling. It is the same feeling he had after he had left that party where he and Hamid stood outside staring at the stars. It’s the same feeling he gets when Hamid texts him good morning, or he sees the halfling heading out of the university at the same time as him.
“You too?” Zolf says as Oscar’s hand stills in his hair.
“Yep,” Wilde pops the ‘p’. “Surprised it took you falling in love with him for me to realise it.”
“I’m not in love with him,” Zolf protests. It’s just a crush. One that Zolf, for the first time in forever, is actually interested in chasing.
“That’s not really the point, Zolf. Do you want to do something about this?” He gestures widely, to the two of them, then the rest of the room. The nurse shrugs a little, slumping back down.
“I mean, if you want to… Azu and Grizzop are already teasing me.” Oscar’s answering grin is playful but gentle.
“I think it would certainly be fun to discuss this with Hamid. Perhaps over coffee?” Zolf scowls and Oscar laughs.
Oscar knows that Aphrodite’s Charm is a perfect spot for a first date/polyamory meeting. Azu, as much as she loves gossip, will leave them alone, happy to serve them and watch with a grin from afar.
Besides, they all know the coffee shop well. Azu and Zolf have been friends for years and Hamid started wandering in at Wilde’s behest more recently.
So, it’s Sunday afternoon, bright and sunny and Zolf Smith, Oscar Wilde and Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan sit around a small table, coffees placed on it.
“So, um,” Hamid starts, the tips of his ears already turning red. Oscar grins over the top of his coffee, easy and relaxed. “What do you say here?”
“I mean, usually you talk about the relationship. And what is going to happen next?” Wilde suggests as Hamid shirks deeper into his chair. He knows that Zolf is similarly blushing beside him, but Zolf is actually much better at talking through his feelings than he used to be.
“We, um, we both like you, Hamid,” Zolf says quietly. “And we’d like to be in a relationship with you if you like that.”
Oscar smiles, watching Hamid. They’ve been spending several evenings in Aphrodite’s Charm, grading papers together. It’s been so lovely and Oscar knows that Hamid has been sneaking glances.
“I like you both too,” Hamid squeaks, sipping the coffee which Oscar knows has way too much sugar and milk in it. “So um, yeah.” Oscar grins, reaching over to gently take Hamid’s hands.
And oh… They’re so little compared to Oscar’s long fingers. Oscar loves holding Zolf’s hand because of the difference in size, but Hamid’s hand is even smaller. Hamid is looking up at him now, his dark skin contrasting with Oscar’s as he entangles their fingers. With Zolf’s hand gently squeezing his other, Oscar grins, widely.
“Well, I think we have the makings of something wonderful here, Mister al-Tahan,” Oscar says, his voice all smooth and easy to hide the fluttering in his chest.
“I hope so,” Zolf says, all gruff affection and hidden smiles. But Wilde and Hamid share a look, a knowing one. Zolf glances between them and his eyes become soft and gentle. Hamid’s eyes sparkle in the light and Oscar swears the world is perfect as the sun begins to dip behind the buildings.
And Hamid and Zolf, sat in front of the window, are painted in gold. The sunlight washes over them, turning the blonde of Zolf’s hair to spun metal, turning the rich chocolate of Hamid’s eyes into molten brass. And for this moment, Wilde feels like he knows true, unending happiness, looking at the fragile new thing they are creating here together.
Oscar Wilde has been in love many times and he knows he will be in love so many more. But this moment here, this is the moment that poets write about. This simple moment, sat in the café owned by one of his best friends, looking at the man he has been in love with for so very many years and the man he knows he is falling in love with now.
And everything in the world is right.
To Oscar Wilde, love has been many things. It has burned fast and sharp, short flings which he knows will never last but are exciting for the moment. It has smouldered, long and steady with Zolf, like the ocean waves gently rolling over and over again. And here, with Hamid and Zolf together, it feels like a meeting of souls. Like fire and water mingling as one to create something new, like a forge working to purify gold.
Here in this moment, this beautiful, golden moment, he asks himself:
How had he, Oscar Wilde, ever managed to get so lucky?
Little did he know, both his partners were thinking the same thing.