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1.
“Miss, could you repeat?” Robert asks into the receiver as Ned puts on his jacket and mask — you would think they would have provided actual good ones for police officers given the circumstances and instead they’re stuck with the one-use kind, fuck Tywin Lannister and the fact that he’s seriously bloody underestimating how bad this situation is getting.
He’s not even paying that much attention to what Robert is saying —
Except that then he bursts out laughing.
“No, no, miss, absolutely,” he wheezes, “I get it, just stay home and I’ll come with my colleague and deal with… the problem. What’s the address? Right, right, we’re coming soon.”
Then he closes the call and bursts out laughing all over again.
“What’s the matter?” Ned asks.
“Oh, you can’t fucking imagine — this lady calls because she can’t leave the house and she needs help — with her chicken.”
“Her chicken.”
Robert wheezes again. “She has this small farm, the chicken ran away from the coop and it’s apparently running in the middle of the street and she can’t go get it. Oh my god, this is so fucking funny —”
“Robert,” Ned sighs, “what if a car passes by and there’s an accident? We should get there and deal with it, not laugh about it.”
“Right, right,” Robert says, standing up, “you and your rule-sticking. I mean, it’s a fucking chicken,” he goes on, “how hard can it be to catch it?”
2.
“Why didn’t you warn them?” Edmure asks, joining Cat at the window of their living room.
“Oh, the tall one seemed so sure it was an easy job,” she replies, calmly sipping her coffee with a smile on her lips, “so I figured I would make him grasp the point.”
Considering that both cops are literally chasing after Chickenrun — fine, fine, Edmure named her when he was six, and they certainly cannot rename her now — who is absolutely giving them the run of their life as she goes all around the field on the other side of the road, Edmure figures Tall Cop did get the point.
“Admittedly,” she says, “the other one has some stamina.”
Edmure tries to look at the shorter cop better — a problem, since they’re on the other side of the street.
“You mean, he hasn’t gotten tired yet?”
“No,” she says. “Maybe I will offer him coffee.”
Edmure has a feeling that his sister does like that one cop.
“Got it,” he says, “I’ll distract the other.”
“I owe you one,” she smiles, high-fiving him.
3.
When finally there’s a knock on the door and Cat opens it, there’s Cute Not Taller Cop on the other side, face covered in sweat and Chickenrun held in his hands, breathing as if he’s just ran a marathon.
“Sorry,” he wheezes, “she — might’ve wore us out.”
“That’s quite all right, officer…”
“Stark,” he blurts, and she thinks he’s kind of blushing… under the already reddened skin on his face. “Ned Stark.”
“Well, Officer Ned Stark, you can bring her back to the coop. Then I would be glad to offer you some coffee, if you’d like.”
“I — uh, yeah, I would like, if it’s not a problem —“
Cat smiles at him. “Then by all means. I’ll be waiting.”
4.
“That’s not how they met,” Robb blurts.
“It is,” his uncle replies, “and there’s a reason why they don’t want me to tell you or your siblings, so you will kindly keep your mouth shut about that.”
“But — it’s just so —”
“Ridiculous? I mean, your mother would be fine with sharing but your father is obviously embarrassed as hell and admittedly it wasn’t a very proud moment for anyone involved except poor Chickenrun, bless her soul.”
“Chasing down a chicken. During a global pandemic.”
“Oh, she gave him spare masks because we had a lot, since we were living on a farm.”
“This is the most fucking hilarious thing I’ve ever heard,” Robb laughs, and fine, he won’t say that he knows, but fuck, it’s golden.
“So what,” he wheezes, “the chicken was running all over the farm with his wings gloriously spread and they couldn’t just… catch it?”
“Chickenrun had very good stamina,” his uncle shrugs, sounding very pleased with it.
Robb thinks about it and bursts out laughing again.
God, this is too fucking good.
How bad could it be if he put it into the play he’s writing for school that’s supposed to be set during that same pandemic which is what they’re studying right now?
He thinks —
He thinks he just might.
End.