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“But I don’t want to be sect leader,” said Nie Huaisang, for at least the fifth time that night. In his defense, he’d had rather a lot of wine, but so had everyone else, and most of the other people there were either already sect leaders or would be one day, and therefore no one was especially willing to spare him much sympathy. Even Wei Wuxian, who had proclaimed to them all not five minutes before how glad he was not to be a sect leader or an heir, seemed to find Nie Huaisang’s situation more amusing than anything. And even Jin Zixuan, who seemed even less qualified than Nie Huaisang felt, had apparently accepted his fate.
“No one does,” Jiang Wanyin said, to an approving nod from Jin Zixuan, drinking more of his wine at once than was socially acceptable, and Meng Yao’s careful smile twitched like he was dying to disagree but was too polite to actually say anything. Nie Huaisang had hoped that an evening free of responsibilities, spent drinking with friends, would cause him to lighten up a little bit, but so far he’d maintained his usual mask of courtesy, though Nie Huaisang was going to go ahead and count it as a win that he was only brooding a little bit at being left out of the discussion currently being held by all of the other sect leaders. Of course, it was unclear how much of his disappointment was at not being considered important enough to attend a meeting where sect business was being handled, and how much of his disappointment was that Clan Leader Lan would only be visiting for a few days, and he didn’t want any of that time to go to waste.
“Ah well,” Wei Wuxian said, topping up Jiang Wanyin’s cup. “Shouldn’t be for a while though, right? You still have lots of time to chill out with us before then.”
“Er… well…” Nie Huaisang exchanged a nervous glance with Meng Yao, who raised an eyebrow as if to say, you can get yourself out of this one. “That is, he’s thinking of retiring soon. And then I’ll be sect leader, whether I want to be or not.”
Jiang Yanli rubbed his shoulder sympathetically. “You have the opposite problem as A-Qing- sorry, Sect Leader Wen,” she said, as Jiang Wanyin choked on his wine and Wei Wuxian patted him on the back. “She needs to stay as sect leader, and too many people want her to be married off into another sect so that her brother can take over, or so that her husband can take over in her place.” She frowned, clearly not happy with the thought of her girlfriend being married off to a man, but privately Nie Huaisang thought there wasn’t much chance of that happening unless Wen Qing wanted it to. Wen Qing was nice enough, probably, and seemed to adore Jiang Yanli, but she was also very terrifying and had, allegedly, used her medical expertise to assassinate her way into her current position just as Wen Ruohan’s abuses of power grew too harsh to be ignored. Meng Yao, who thought she’d probably prevented a long and bloody war, thought she was absolutely brilliant.
“Oh, there’s an idea,” said Nie Huaisang, flicking his fan in front of his face in excitement, the beginnings of a plan starting to form in his pleasantly wine-soaked mind. Lan Wangji looked faintly concerned, probably because he was misremembering how brilliant all of Nie Huaisang’s ideas during their lecture days had been.
“I don’t think she would be interested in marrying you,” Jiang Yanli said, apologetically, but Nie Huaisang waved her off.
“Oh, that’s fine,” he said. “That wouldn’t solve my problem anyway. I was thinking that I need to find someone to marry me.”
“Yes, but how would that solve your problem?” Jiang Wanyin said. “Then you’d still be sect leader, you’d just also have a wife.”
“Who says I would be marrying a woman?” Nie Huaisang said, causing several people to choke on their drinks, and Meng Yao sighed heavily. “What’s wrong, san-ge? It’s not like you didn’t already know this about me, and besides, you’re already married to my brother and Xichen-ge.” Lan Wangji’s lips curved into a slight smile at that, which Nie Huaisang chose to interpret as approval of his interpretation of his brother’s love life.
“We are sworn brothers,” Meng Yao said, blushing and taking an emphatic sip of his drink. “There is a difference.”
“You did some bows, you swore some oaths, and you’re all sleeping together. Isn’t that what marriage is?” Ignoring the fact that technically men weren’t supposed to get married to each other, but Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen had enough respect and status that they could do whatever they wanted and no one would really be able to stop them. Or so Nie Huaisang hoped, because this excellent and well-thought-out plan relied on the fact that as Chifeng-zun’s brother no one except Nie Mingjue could tell him what to do, or forbid him from doing exactly as he pleased, regardless of how unorthodox it was.
Meng Yao sighed again and downed the rest of his drink in one go. “You’re not wrong,” he said, “but if you get engaged tonight, you get to be the one to tell your brother.”
“Okay,” Nie Huaisang said brightly, slapping his fan against his palm. “Who wants to marry me?”
Meng Yao pinched the bridge of his nose like he had a headache and poured himself more liquor.
“Most of us don’t qualify,” said Yanli. “I don’t, and neither does Mianmian, for obvious reasons.” Luo Qingyang nodded sleepily, not raising her head from Jin Zixuan’s shoulder. “My brother and Jin Zixuan are going to be leaders of their own sects someday.”
“And Lan Zhan is basically the Lan sect leader already,” Wei Wuxian said proudly, throwing Lan Wangji a fond look, which Lan Wangji returned, in his own significantly more subtle way, and Nie Huaisang felt a sudden stab of not jealousy, exactly, because he was ecstatic that they’d finally managed to find their happiness after so many years of horribly obvious pining, and wasn’t particularly interested in either of them for himself, even though they were both unfairly beautiful, but longing for that kind of intimacy with someone, the ability to meet someone’s eyes in a crowded room and make it seem like they were the only two people there.
“Seems like there’s only one option,” said Jiang Wanyin, who had come around from looking distinctly skeptical at the entire proposition to looking thrilled at finding an opportunity to make fun of his brother. He was, currently, elbowing Wei Wuxian in the ribs, causing Wei Wuxian to spill his wine.
“Hey! Wait, who? Me? Seriously? Of course,” he said, laughing and ruffling Jiang Wanyin’s carefully done hair, “you’re just looking for a way to get of me. I knew it!”
“Ridiculous,” Jiang Wanyin said. “Go ahead, get engaged on a drunken dare. See if I bother to show up to the wedding.”
“You’re the one who suggested it!”
“Shut up!” Jiang Wanyin said. “It was a joke, please don’t actually do that.”
“You can’t tell me what to do,” said Wei Wuxian.
“And don’t I know it,” Jiang Wanyin muttered, and Wei Wuxian threw his head back laughing and took another swing of liquor directly from the jar.
“Anyway,” said Nie Huaisang, before they started another argument that would bring down the mood of his party, “wanna get married, Wei-xiong?”
“Sure,” Wei Wuxian said, “as long as you’re okay with it, er-gege?”
“Mn,” Lan Wangji said, nodding, giving Wei Wuxian a smile so soft and fond that Nie Huaisang wasn’t sure how Wei Wuxian withstood the force of all that loving attention concentrated on him alone without bursting into flames, or at the very least fainting.
“Great,” said Nie Huaisang, clapping his hands together. Meng Yao, seemingly resigned to his own inability to tell Nie Huaisang not to make his own excellent life choices, sighed once again and took the jar of liquor directly out of Wei Wuxian’s hand. “Glad we’ve decided that.”
—
It was not, of course, just as simple as all that. There were serious sober conversations to be had, with Wei Wuxian, with Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, with Nie Mingjue (and Meng Yao mediating), with Sect Leader Jiang and his quite frankly terrifying wife. There were letters to be written and dates to be decided on, a thousand logistical problems to be solved. Nie Huaisang was better at it than anyone, including himself, expected, and Wei Wuxian was just about as unhelpful as everyone had expected and usually spent most of the planning sessions night hunting with Lan Wangji instead, leaving Nie Huaisang, Meng Yao, and Jiang Yanli to do most of the actual work.
The actual ceremony went smoothly, and Nie Huaisang saw Meng Yao and Jiang Yanli exchanging nods of approval as each segment went off without a hitch. The banquet afterwards was rowdier, partially because of the alcohol being served and partially because Nie Huaisang and Meng Yao had arranged the seating so that the conversations would be interesting to eavesdrop on, not necessarily enjoyable for the participants. Jiang Wanyin was sitting next to Jin Zixun. Madame Yu was stuck between Sect Leaders Yao and Ouyang, because Nie Huaisang thought it would make Wei Wuxian laugh, to see his unpleasant adoptive mother beset by two equally—albeit in different ways—unpleasant people, and it did. Wei Wuxian himself had disappeared about halfway through, and Lan Wangji had excused himself shortly after, to his brother’s obvious amusement.
Nie Huaisang himself was having a great time. There had been no major disasters, and he could sit back and gossip with his friends, only occasionally interrupted by someone who wanted to flatter him, usually someone who under normal circumstances wouldn’t have much to say to him except vaguely disappointed comparisons to his father and brother, and wouldn’t have anything to say about him except scorn for his inability to live up to the ideals of his clan. Well, now they could say that at least he knew how to throw a party. And, also, apparently, that he wasn’t pretty enough to hold his new husband’s attention.
“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” he said, fluttering his fan in front of his mouth as he tried to gauge the intentions of the person who had brought him this news. It was Sect Leader Ouyang, which meant his intentions were irritating at best.
“Your husband,” he said the word through gritted teeth, and Nie Huaisang honestly wasn’t sure if his distaste was for the concept of their marriage or if it was for everything that Wei Wuxian specifically was as a person, “is unfaithful to you.”
“Oh dear,” Nie Huaisang said, exchanging a glance with Sect Leader Wen over Sect Leader Ouyang’s shoulder. She was smirking slightly, definitely eavesdropping, her hand lightly resting on the hem of Jiang Yanli’s sleeve. “What do you mean by that?”
“Neither Wei Wuxian nor Second Master Lan are here right now, are they? It’s a little suspicious to be gone from the banquet so soon,” he said. “I don’t mean to cause trouble, but surely this is cause for concern.”
“I notice your own wife isn’t here either,” Nie Huaisang said, looking around nervously, his voice rising as he spoke. Maybe the hysterics were a little bit much, but he was pleasantly tipsy and had just been handed an excellent opportunity to mess with someone who was, quite frankly, asking for it. “I hope you’re not suggesting she’s also seducing my husband. How devastated we would all be. Unless of course she didn’t attend the banquet at all. Oh, I’m sure neither of you meant any offense by skipping such an important occasion, she must be ill and I hope she gets well soon. It’s not serious, is it?”
Sect Leader Ouyang’s face turned an interesting shade of purple, but he stubbornly forged ahead and said, “And there have been all of those rumors…. I wouldn’t want to speak ill of Hanguang-jun, of course-”
“Of course not,” Nie Huaisang agreed enthusiastically. “How could anyone possibly even think of doubting the spotless reputation of the Second Jade of Lan?”
“Indeed,” said Sect Leader Ouyang, doubtfully, “but surely there is cause for concern. Not that Second Master Lan would ever…debase himself in such a way, but everyone knows that Wei Wuxian is shameless, and there is nothing that I believe he wouldn’t do, even pestering someone of such renowned virtue on his own wedding day.”
“How horrible!” Nie Huaisang said, still playing the part of the anxious fool that most of the sect leaders thought he was. And then he let the frantic expression drop from his face, replaced by a look of contempt barely tempered by how pleasant and level his tone was. Meng Yao would have been proud. “How horrible that you would come to me on the day of my own wedding with this, trying to cause trouble in my marriage for your own petty personal reasons. And by the way, I did notice that you didn’t bring your wife and family, and my brothers are not pleased.” And with that, he left Sect Leader Ouyang and his offended protestations to go share this tasty new gossip with Wei Wuxian.
—
Wei Wuxian was, as he expected, with Lan Wangji, both of them hidden away in an alcove in the garden behind several large shrubs which provided them with both privacy and the ability to spy on a small knot of important people clustered who had gone outside for some fresh air and less polite conversation. Wei Wuxian was sitting in Lan Wangji’s lap, one hand buried in Lan Wangji’s hair, the trailing end of his headband twined through his fingers, and he gave Nie Huaisang a cheerful wave and a bright smile as he approached.
“You’ll never believe what I just heard, darling husband,” Nie Huaisang said, giving Wei Wuxian a kiss on the cheek and sitting down next to Lan Wangji, perched on the low stone wall, barely balancing himself in the limited space until Lan Wangji put an arm around his shoulder to hold him steady.
“Oh? What are they saying about me this time?” Wei Wuxian said. “What else have I done?”
“You’re cheating on me,” Nie Huaisang said, trying and failing to keep a straight face as Wei Wuxian burst into barely stifled laughter. He gave up trying to pretend to take this seriously and went for full melodrama, putting one hand to his forehead as though he were about to faint, making his most exaggerated face of woe. “I’m so terribly broken-hearted about this. How could you.”
“I would never,” Wei Wuxian said, throwing his other arm around Lan Wangji’s neck, pressing their faces even closer together, “would I, Lan Zhan?”
“Never,” Lan Wangji said solemnly, with the barest hint of a smile on his lips.
“That’s what I thought,” said Nie Huaisang. “I told Sect Leader Ouyang he was being ridiculous. Obviously nothing that could possibly happen without my knowledge.”
Lan Wangji hummed in agreement, and Wei Wuxian laid one hand on Nie Huaisang’s forearm and said, “Of course not, Nie-xiong. You know everything.”
“I do,” said Nie Huaisang, only a little bit smugly. It was his wedding day. He was allowed to be a little bit smug. “Now, speaking of knowing everything, what could Sect Leader Yao possibly have to say to Jiang Wanyin and Jin…whichever cousin that is.”
“The one who sucks,” said Wei Wuxian helpfully, which didn’t narrow it down at all.
“Jin Zixun,” said Lan Wangji, more helpfully, though he didn’t contradict Wei Wuxian’s assessment of his character.
“Yeah, him,” Wei Wuxian said. “Anyway, look at how embarrassed Jiang Cheng is. Can’t wait to never let him live this down.”
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said, “you’re the one they’re mocking.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” said Wei Wuxian. “They can say whatever they want about me. See if I care.” Lan Wangji’s hand tightened on the back of Wei Wuxian’s robes, his expression briefly pained. Wei Wuxian didn’t care what people said about him, or at least was very good at acting like he didn’t, but Lan Wangji clearly knew better and cared very much.
“What are they saying?” Nie Huaisang broke in, before they got too lost in their own private reassurances to remember that he was also there.
“They’re trying to decide which of us is the man in our marriage,” said Wei Wuxian. “Jiang Cheng has been trying to escape the conversation for the past fifteen minutes.”
“Well?” Nie Huaisang said. “Don’t just leave it there. What’s the prevailing opinion?”
“Jiang Wanyin pointed out that you’re both men,” Lan Wangji said, “and that the whole debate was vulgar and disrespectful.”
“Correct but boring, yes, Lan Zhan, I’m very grateful to him for trying to defend my masculinity or whatever, but not grateful enough to rescue him. Besides, he still has some wine left, he’ll be fine.” Nie Huaisang watched as Jiang Wanyin went to pour more wine from his jar, only to find it empty, and he looked at his empty cup mournfully. “Basically, Sect Leader Yao thinks that as the son of a servant and not a proper member of the gentry, I shouldn’t even be considered your equal, so obviously I should be submissive to you in all ways.” He smirked at Nie Huaisang, who raised his eyebrows at him suggestively. “Jin Zi-whatever disagrees, of course, because he’s a thoroughly disagreeable person in every situation, and he thinks that you aren’t enough of a real man because you aren’t, ah, skilled at using your blade. If you know what I mean.”
Nie Huaisang, making a face of mock indignation, hit Wei Wuxian over the head playfully with his fan, but very gently, since the hidden blades made his fans surprisingly heavy as well as more dangerous. “I expect better innuendo from you,” he said. “What was the point in sharing my books with you if you didn’t learn anything?”
“Don’t blame me!” Wei Wuxian said. “That’s the best Young Master Jin could come up with. No surprise he can’t think of any good euphemisms, hard to imagine who’d want to sleep with him.”
“Wei Ying,” said Lan Wangji reprovingly.
“What, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said, “are you telling you would sleep with that horrible man?”
“Of course not,” Lan Wangji said, “but I have only ever had eyes for Wei Ying. Hardly a representative sample.” At that, Wei Wuxian brushed a light kiss to the corner of Lan Wangji’s lips, and Lan Wangji blushed.
“I wouldn’t either,” said Nie Huaisang, “and I think my opinion counts for slightly more, since I haven’t been in love with my soulmate since I was sixteen like you two. Anyway, are you going to go to your brother’s rescue, or at least bring him more wine?”
“Sure,” Wei Wuxian said. “Also, I want to see if they have the guts to bring this up to our faces. Coming, Lan Zhan?”
Lan Wangji nodded, and Wei Wuxian slid out of his lap as he stood up. And then Wei Wuxian paused, just before stepping out of the alcove and into the candlelight, turned to Nie Huaisang and kissed him, hands grasping the collar of his robes to full him forward, biting his lip hard enough that anyone who saw Nie Huaisang for the rest of the night would probably notice how red his lips were, almost as if he was wearing rouge, which was an idea for him to file away for future consideration. It wasn’t, of course, the first time he’d kissed Wei Wuxian, not with the way they’d fooled around back at Cloud Recesses when they were young, before Wei Wuxian’s desperate, all-consuming crush for Lan Wangji made it stop being fun for either of them. This was fun again: the audacity of what they were doing combined with the knowledge that it was both deeply scandalous and entirely proper in a way that not even Lan Qiren could find fault with, and Lan Wangji’s hands on Wei Wuxian’s hips, holding him steady as Nie Huaisang leaned in to kiss him more deeply.
And then they broke apart, and Wei Wuxian released his collar and, with a smirk, deliberately rumpled it further instead of fixing it. Nie Huaisang pushed Wei Wuxian’s hair back from his face, sweeping it off his shoulder and more fully revealing a series of marks on his neck that Nie Huaisang had definitively not been the one to put there, and then linked his arm with Wei Wuxian’s. Lan Wangji patted down the single strand of hair that was out of place and stood a few steps behind them, as if he wasn’t involved in any of this. And then Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang stepped out of the shadows, arm in arm, and Nie Huaisang didn’t think he would ever see anything more satisfying than the shocked looks on the faces of Jin Zixun, Jiang Wanyin, and Sect Leader Yao as they noticed them and realized that they had most likely heard the preceding conversation, especially since Sect Leader Yao was halfway through saying, “And there’s no way that Wei Ying is enough of-”
“Yes?” Wei Wuxian said. “There’s no way I’m enough of what? Also, Sect Leader, I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage. You’re using my courtesy name, but I’m afraid I don’t know yours.”
“Wei Wuxian,” said Jiang Wanyin, cutting off whatever excuses Sect Leader Yao was about to make, “nice of you to finally show up.”
“What, was this conversation uncomfortable for you?”
“How long were you listening?”
Wei Wuxian smiled enigmatically and didn’t answer, instead taking advantage of everyone’s surprise to pluck the cup out of Jin Zixun’s hand and pass it to Jiang Wanyin, ignoring Jin Zixun’s sputters of rage. “Here, you look like you could use another drink.”
“I think we all could,” Nie Huaisang said, as Jiang Wanyin took a desperate gulp of the liquor he had just been handed. “In the meantime, why don’t you catch us up on your discussion? I’m sure it was fascinating.” He leaned more heavily on Wei Wuxian’s arm, peering earnestly at Sect Leader Yao over the top of his fan.
“Um… well… that is, we were just wondering…” Sect Leader Yao paused, looking around for assistance that no one was willing to give him.
“None of your business,” said Jin Zixun rudely.
“Oh, of course not,” Nie Huaisang said, “I’m so sorry. Of course a man’s private life is his own personal business, and I apologize for daring to pry into your affairs.” He removed his arm from Wei Wuxian’s to give Jin Zixun a bow that was so polite as to be vaguely passive-aggressive. He’d learned that from Meng Yao as well.
Once he straightened up from his bow, he threw one arm around Wei Wuxian’s shoulders, and Wei Wuxian said, pouting, “But as the heir to Sect Leader Nie, I thought that anything that happens in Qinghe is your business, er-gege? And you said you’d never deny me anything, and I want to know what they were saying. It was probably about me, it always is.”
“Probably just how amazing you are, and how jealous they are of you and your wonderful marriage,” Nie Huaisang said, patting Wei Wuxian’s cheek lovingly, because what was the point in being married to your best friend, partially for political reasons and partially to piss off stuffy people like Sect Leader Yao, if you weren’t going to be as obnoxious as possible just because you could get away with it. “Don’t you think, Young Master Jiang?”
Jiang Wanyin glared at both of them, looking as though he would rather be murdered on the spot than answer the question, though he heroically began to say, “Young Master Jin and Sect Leader Yao were in disagreement over-” before he was saved from his fate by the appearance of another cluster of important guests, including Meng Yao, deep in conversation with Lan Xichen, heads leaned so close they were nearly touching, Nie Mingjue just behind them like their shadow, Jin Zixuan and his right-hand woman Luo Qingyang, Jiang Yanli and Sect Leader Wen, who were just barely concealing the fact that they were holding hands under their sleeves, and unfortunately Sect Leader Ouyang.
“Ah, there you are,” said Sect Leader Ouyang, specifically only greeting Sect Leader Yao, and Nie Huaisang saw a muscle in his oldest brother’s jaw twitch.
“Yes, here I am,” said Wei Wuxian, spreading his arms magnanimously, willfully misinterpreting Sect Leader Ouyang’s rudeness. “What do you have to say to me?”
“I’m sure he just meant to congratulate you on your good fortune, and to wish you a long and happy marriage,” Lan Xichen said charitably, even though everyone present could probably guess that he had intended nothing of the sort. Jiang Wanyin, meanwhile, had rushed to Jin Zixuan’s side, and Jin Zixuan patted his shoulder comfortingly, which Nie Huaisang noted and filed away as something to ask Wei Wuxian about later.
“Of course he did,” Nie Mingjue said, making it sound like a threat. Nie Mingjue might have had his reservations about this scheme in general, and Wei Wuxian’s role in it specifically, but he was still Nie Huaisang’s protective older brother, and no one was allowed to insult his family.
“Of course he was,” Sect Leader Yao said.
“Of course,” Sect Leader Ouyang agreed. “But I was also just wondering,” Sect Leader Yao was sending him frantic cease-and-desist looks, as if Wei Wuxian’s delighted grin wasn’t warning enough, both of which he ignored, “and I’m sure I’m not the only one, how Young Master Wei should come to be married to Young Master Nie when he has always seemed to be so, ahem, intimate with the Second Jade of Lan.” Out of the corner of his eye, Nie Huaisang saw Lan Wangji’s knuckles go white as his grip tightened on his sword, and Wei Wuxian laughed easily and dangerously, like breaking glass.
“Oh, I’m so sorry you’ve misunderstood the nature of Hanguang-jun and my husband’s relationship,” Nie Huaisang said, winking at Wei Wuxian, who nodded, showing his readiness to back up whatever bullshit Nie Huaisang was about to come up with. “There’s nothing improper happening between them. They are sworn brothers, chaste and devoted comrades, nothing else, just like da-ge and his brothers.”
Nie Mingjue turned his glare onto Nie Huaisang at that, but Lan Xichen’s mouth twisted into a knowing smile, and Meng Yao said, smoothly, “Of course. I did not realize you two had made it official. Congratulations, Hangaung-jun, Young Master Wei.” He bowed to each of them in turn, smirking openly, and Nie Huaisang gave him a little nod.
“Speaking of improper things happening between people,” Wei Wuxian said, emphasizing it in a way that left no doubt as to what he was talking about, and was rewarded by a variety of hilarious scandalized expressions on the faces of the various sect leaders, “don’t you think it’s time we retired for the night?”
“Of course, dear husband,” Nie Huaisang said. “Should we settle Young Master Jin and Sect Leader Yao’s debate for them first?”
“I think we should leave them to place their bets,” Wei Wuxian said, “without embarrassing them further for asking such a question in the first place. And then maybe, if we’re feeling charitable, we can let them know exactly what the answer is in the morning.”
He linked arms with Wei Wuxian once more, briefly resting his head on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder as they walked away. “Truly, I’m glad I’m married to you, Wei-xiong,” he said softly. “Thank you.”
Wei Wuxian laughed softly, fondly, and said, “Same to you, Nie-xiong. I look forward to many more evenings like this one.”