Work Text:
Good Enough
For the umpteenth time, Yuusuke has to remind himself that he isn’t a junior high student anymore. He isn’t the punk kid who ran the streets of Sarayashiki, facing down any number of delinquents stupid enough to get tangled up with him. Hell, he wasn’t even human anymore. Not completely. A thought that hits too close to a place he doesn’t want to think about on a good day, and refuses to acknowledge on a bad one.
All of the reminders in the world are necessary to keep him from ripping into the owners of whispering voices and snide glances, uproarious opinions of things they hardly understand. Sometimes, the reminders come in the form of firm grasps on his shoulder or a hand at his back. Faces of people who know him — who understand the shadows that haunt his face or the brief flicker in his eyes — who take the shift in his mood seriously and separate him from those who don’t.
Seldom is it Kurama, guiding him from a room when his energy is strong enough to flicker the lights. Taking advantage of the momentary break in conversation to lead him somewhere quiet. Calm him down with a backward count from one hundred. Yuusuke’s anger never makes it past sixty-nine but it’s mostly out of his humor and the exasperation in the fond roll of Kurama’s eyes. They stay there, together and speaking quietly. Kurama reminding him that they’re there for him and he doesn’t have to deal with this alone — and Yuusuke doesn’t have the gall to tell him he’s wrong.
Or that he doesn’t understand.
If anyone understands, it’s them, and Yuusuke has to remind himself that he’s not alone.
Occasionally, it’s Hiei he seeks out when he wants a fight. But that also means running into Kurama but the fox knows when to leave the two of them be. Hiei doesn’t say anything when Yuusuke throws his coat aside and takes up a stance. He doesn’t question when they’re beating each other badly enough that the ground shakes and the world becomes red. Or when the marks appear on Yuusuke’s skin, reminding him of just how far removed from humanity it is. To Hiei, it doesn’t matter. Human, mazoku, he still strikes with the same intensity but when the dust clears and they’re both beaten bloody — he glances Yuusuke’s way and asks him if he’s gotten it out of his system.
Yuusuke thinks to question what he means but Hiei’s not an idiot.
He knows.
And hell if Hiei doesn’t understand. Yuusuke sees it in the way others look at him when he’s by Kurama’s side. Silently questioning what he did to earn his place there. Hiei doesn’t pay them any mind, not in public, he treats it like it’s nothing. But Yuusuke notices it at a glance when the crowds get too dense and tensions run high. Hiei separates himself and Kurama follows suit, comforting him because he’s right there by his side. It helps when Hiei returns and Kurama seems relieved but there’s still a ghost of it in Hiei’s eyes. And another strand of his patience is snapped.
Yuusuke asks Hiei if he’s gotten it out of his system.
Hiei says nothing but Yuusuke figures that means they’re both working on it because he said nothing about his issues either.
The world dealt them shitty hands but the people they’re with make it better.
And that’s why most of the time, it’s Kuwabara and Keiko who calm Yuusuke the most. They’re what he was fighting for. A life with both of them. Laughing and carrying on as if they’re all on the same playing field. As if death and circumstance hadn’t pushed them all off course. Kuwabara is doing well for himself, studying and staying out of trouble, but he still comes around to pal about. Keiko reminding the two of them that the floor of their ramen shop isn’t a wrestling ring. A tiny quirk at her lips telling that she’s not really mad. And when Kuwabara leaves, Yuusuke feels a tiny ache but Keiko’s there and she squeezes his hand and he feels a different kind of pain.
The whispers Kurama tells him to ignore, the ones Hiei endures, the ones Kuwabara disregards, the ones about Keiko and what Yuusuke did to deserve her wears at him now and again.
And it’s only a matter of time before he snaps.
But he’s not that kid anymore…
He’s better now. He’s good enough.
Right?
─── 幽☆遊☆白書
Keiko doesn’t say a word when they come back to their little upstairs apartment. With the shop closed and their evening freed up, Yuusuke collapses in front of the television and loads up a game. It’s one of the fighting tournament ones that Genkai continuously kicked his ass at and he’s determined to at least figure out how to beat the character she always uses. The game absorbs him and he tries to push away the muttering of Keiko’s colleagues, the ones who went to high school and college with her, who recognize him as the Urameshi Yuusuke. He snorts when the character on the screen lands a good blow, flattening his avatar on its back.
I heard he had over two hundred thousand people ready to move on command. You know he was kicked out of school and his mother got him back with her connections —
Comments about his mom aside, which in Yuusuke’s opinion was reason enough to drive his fist into someone’s gut, it wasn’t their business. And he doubted that it was a coincidence that his record was common knowledge. Iwamoto and Akashi coming to mind immediately, and Yuusuke hopes that they thank Takenaka for everything he did because revenge was looking sweet for many years.
And really? Did they think he could just summon two hundred thousand people to fight for him?
Bitterly, he thinks on the monks who followed beneath Raizen’s regime and now turn to him. They served his ancestral father and claim his tactics during the Makai Tournament was reason enough to follow him. Yuusuke sneers as his avatar gets back to his feet and the fight resumes. His thumbs flicking across the control, pressing down until he hears a click a bit too harsh to be normal.
Don’t look at him too long. He looks like he’ll slug you good.
Who wouldn’t want to slug someone when they were the topic on everyone’s tongue but the peanut gallery was too chickenshit to say anything out loud?
Glancing down at his hand, he scowls seeing a sliver of dark ink peeking from beneath the cuff of his dress shirt. Keiko insisted on him wearing the damned thing. Said it made him look handsome and was loathsome to disappoint her. Although, he wouldn’t agree to a tie or buttoning the damned thing up to choke him. Keiko didn’t seem to mind but even that came up.
Doesn’t he know where he is?
Yuusuke grinds his teeth together. He knew just where he was and who he was with. Keiko never had any issues with him, so everyone else should just butt out.
The weight on his shoulders shifts and Yuusuke instinctively tenses up, his nose twitching as he inhales mikan and vanilla, sighing softly.
Keiko.
She doesn’t say anything until he pauses the game, her hands sliding down his shoulders and linking in the middle of his chest. Her weight comfortable against his back as she leans into him, chestnut brown hair tickling his cheek.
“You didn’t listen to them then,” Keiko whispers, warm breath caressing the shell of Yuusuke’s ear and he suppresses a shudder, keeping his gaze firmly on the screen. “Why start now?”
A twisted sense of superiority and validation pools in his gut but he recognizes the bad habit for what it is and pushes it aside. The controller nearly gives beneath his grip. Soft lazy kisses trailing beneath his ear and along the curve of his jaw loosening the white-knuckled hold. Keiko’s voice is soft in his ear, beckoning for him to calm and his eyes flutter shut as he loses himself in another smatter of kisses along his cheek.
“Yuusuke…”
He grunts at the sound of his name. It’s concerned and imploring, seconds away from a trademark call of ‘I care’, and he knows she means every word. It’s just difficult to understand why. He’s grateful that whichever deity was looking out for him sent her his way but he wonders if he’s the right one for her.
Tucking his hand in the crook of her elbow, Yuusuke sighs and tips his head to the side, brushing his lips against her cheek and nestling his nose in the locks escaping the messy bun she tied her hair in.
“… Everyone who said I was no good for you and that I caused you trouble didn’t matter, Kei… but I saw it, hell I saw how hurt you were and I just… it’s different…”
For so long, Yuusuke was just running ahead and he hoped that Keiko would be right there beside him. If he had to give her up like a man, then so be it, but that was impossible. If there was one thing he hoped he’d always have, it was a place at Keiko’s side. He wanted to hold her hand and see her smile. All of the stuff he thought was impossible with a happy life and an enjoyable existence, people who cared about him — a family — he wanted to do it with her.
“You shouldn’t care what they think,” Keiko replies simply, but there’s a quiet urgency to her voice that draws his ear. “I waited for you because I wanted to.”
Yuusuke swallows the lump in his throat. He remembers that day on the beach bittersweetly. Running across the sand to get to her as quickly as possible, listening to her call out that she was done waiting and he prayed that his luck hadn’t run out. Then she looked at him and his world was righted. With her in his arms, her lips pressed to his own and time seemed to matter less. He decided at that moment he’d do everything and anything in his power to make up for it. So she’d never have to sound that desperate again — so they’d never have to be on separate paths again.
For as long as she lived.
Curling his open hand into a tight fist, Yuusuke puts on a brave face and his sternest voice. Ignoring the controller's dull thud as it clatters to the floor. Shifting enough to meet her eye, he grimaces. “I put you through hell, Keiko.”
After a beat of silence, Keiko shrugs lightly. “I can put you in your place when I need to.”
Yuusuke's mouth fell open. He was a mazoku, not fully, but still. Power-wise, he was pretty sure that he was above most average humans. The idea of getting his ass kicked now was more of a matter of how than when. Especially if what Hokushin told him about his kind was true. Keiko was no slouch when it came to fighting but he doubted — well, no, even if her old age Genkai could put him on his ass. With the right training and enough anger…
Oh, that thought shouldn't have been as attractive as it was.
Realizing how quiet he was and the knowing look in Keiko's eyes, Yuusuke ignores the heat rising to his face and the pitch in his voice. “Wow, really? In my place? I come back from the dead as a demon, find out that I’m basically a king and you’re still gonna kick my ass?”
Keiko grins at him in response, a dull pain to his cheek as she pinches and pulls barely registers over her voice. “You better believe it.”
Her smiling face guides him from the trails of thought that this won't last. She deserves someone better. Someone who can give her a life she deserves. Who can grow old with her. But saying that might deprive Yuusuke of her entirely, and he swallows his fears for both their sakes.
His ki rounds out around them in a dull blue sheen. He's not sure how his energy still manifests as anything light. Far from anything sinister like the Elder Toguro or the gaudy blinding light of Sensui. Kurama mentioned the color of one's aura had more to do with the soul than what they were.
"At the soul," the fox's voice softened in his memory, a ghost of his hand resting on Yuusuke's shoulder with a comforting weight. "You're like the sky. There's more to you than meets the eye."
Yuusuke huffs and rests his head against Keiko's, watching with an amused smile as she curls her fingers in the light of his aura. Her own is a warm yellow. Reminding him of the sun. It's part of why he thought she was a goddess made flesh. There was only one Yukimura Keiko, and she wasn't perfect but she was perfect to him.
Easing her clasped hands from around him, Yuusuke shuffles about on the carpet enough to face her and pull her into a hug. Keiko doesn't go without a fight. A minor scuffle with both of them smiling eough that laughter bubbles up between them. Her arms draping over his shoulders and her face pressed to the hollow of his throat. She doesn't have as many scrapes and bruises as he does, but he knows that many of them are covered up. Her scars are more internal while his are the opposite.
Pressing his fingers to her lower back and trailing them up her spine, the cream-colored dress shirt she wore only felt like a hindrance. If he tore through it then she might be pissed and Yuusuke didn't want to sleep on the couch tonight of all nights.
“… Hey Keiko?”
“Yeah?”
Allowing them to bask in this silence for a few minutes longer, a wicked grin curled on Yuusuke's lips when Keiko's fidgeting started. His arms locking around her middle and body rocking backward, a dull pain — barely there — registering when his arm hits the floor.
“Gotcha.”
“Yuusuke!”
A sharp squeal of his name in his ear lost in breathy laughter as they rolled about, narrowly clipping the couch. Like they were kids again and had nothing better to do but mess with each other.
Yuusuke snickers, smiling down at her as she lays beside him. The bun her hair was in now ruined and the hair tie surely lost somewhere. Eyes bright with mischief and sparkling crinkle at the corners when he peppers noisy kisses along her cheeks, soaking in every giggling laugh and light push as if he was basking in the sunlight. Cradling the back of her head, Yuusuke's fingers tangle in dark brown locks and he practically beams as Keiko laughs and curls close to him.
Burying his face against her hair, the words muffle but are spoken with no small amount of affection.
“Thanks Keiko.”
Keiko sighs, her arm slipping beneath his own and anchoring them together in a tight hold. “You’re welcome.”
Uncomfortable though it may be, Yuusuke wouldn't mind laying here with her for as long as they could. He could even drag down a few pillows and the blanket off the back of the couch. Make it a little sleepover. Just so he wouldn't have to seperate from her so soon.
“Mind if we stay here… just for a little while?”
“Sure.”
“… Can we order takeout too?”
“From anywhere you want.”
Yuusuke snorts, leaning back to catch a glimpse of her face. “Woah, you’re really heavy on the being nice thing today, huh?”
In the dim, its harder to see her smile but the light from the television halos her just right and Yuusuke almost forgets how it is to breathe. “I just wanna make sure you’re doing okay,” Keiko says, palming his cheek with a touch so light it takes Yuusuke a second longer than his senses usually allow to register it even happened.
He feels his world narrowing down and the edges that are too sharp and jagged blunt immediately, everything curving in toward her. A million words rest on Yuusuke's lips but they're none too kind and all about himself, and he knows that Keiko wouldn't hear them. Not without giving him an earful. And he didn't want to argue with her. Not tonight.
They could have their playful spats another day when emotions weren't too high.
Tipping his chin up, he brushes his lips against her crown, whispering against her skin. “You’re too damn good.”
Keiko laughs and Yuusuke's heart stammers as she taps his chin, guiding him into a sweet kiss that ends far too quickly. “Remember that the next time you call me a nag,” she teases, tracing the line of his nose to the corner of his lips, her tongue poking between her own.
Yuusuke snorts, pretending to consider it. “Mmmmm, no promises…” He says, flashing a smile when she sticks her tongue out at him with renewed vigor. His tongue loosening more than he'd usually allow but for Keiko, it's difficult to put up his walls. “I like you even when you’re nagging.”
Her tongue retreats and she stares up at him with wide curious eyes. It dawns on him that he never told her that before. All the complaining he did as a kid returns to memory, but he did feel touched. Somewhere deep beneath all the irritation and dislike for authority.
“You do?”
Yuusuke sighs. He wasn't that kid anymore, but part of him still was. That kid would always be a part of him and he wouldn't toss him away. He had a reason to be angry with the world, and he got better over time. But they both had something in common. Yukimura Keiko would always be a blind spot, a strength and able to find a chink in the armor.
And they loved her.
“When you’re nagging, when you’re mad, when you’re happy, when you’re sad…” Yuusuke presses light kisses to her cheeks with each reason, trailing down from her cheekbone to her jaw then the corner of her lips. Each one is featherlight, enough to linger ut not enough to start anything. Kisses that he knew Keiko loved just as much as it riled her up. “I love you all the time. Even when you drive me crazy.”
He doesn't quite expect anything from that. Soft understanding warming Keiko's face and curving her smile, a gentle tug pulling him closer as their lips slot together. Only the thin fabric of their shirts keeping them apart but even that just takes a moment and a bit of patience to be nothing.
Distantly, it dawns on Yuusuke when he's unbuttoning Keiko's that they match. And the television flickers as a new wave of love and appreciation washes over him.