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The Hanshi has always been a quiet place.
The sect leader's quarters are secluded far away from the main buildings of the Cloud Recesses, away from the hustle and bustle of chattering students and visiting cultivators. It's located in a peaceful corner near the coldest parts of Gusu, the cold springs and small waterfall flowing close nearby.
Lan Xichen always thought it was far too cold here, too isolated from where the tide of humanity flows. He's always disliked it before, when he was still young and fresh faced, when hope still bloomed in his chest, and his smile was still alive; but now he knows better. This is truly where he belonged, away from others. Isolated. Cold. Alone.
He didn't even allow the usual guards to be posted outside his door.
A lonely, silent house.
Which is why he's startled when he hears a loud thump in the middle of the night, jerking him away from his meditative focus.
He stays as still as he possibly can, on high alert. Is it an intruder?
There's the sound of mild shuffling, leaves crunching loudly under heavy boots; and Lan Xichen quickly grabs Shuoyue, quietly making his way to the door.
He opens it slowly, as softly as he can, sword at the ready.
The startled face of the Ghost General appears before him.
Lan Xichen lets out a shaky breath of relief, before sheathing his sword and bowing to the man in front of him, "Young Master Wen. I apologize if I startled you."
The Ghost General blinks heavily once before bowing deeper. Lan Xichen can hear his muscles creak with the effort. "Sect Leader Lan. I-I did not mean to make so much noise. I... could you tell me where I am?"
Wen Ning looks confused. Lan Xichen smiles at him. "These are my quarters."
"Oh," Wen Ning breathes out, his voice quiet. "I'm deeply sorry for the disturbance." His eyes fall to the ground, contrite.
Lan Xichen waves his apology away. "It's of no consequence." He eyes the fierce corpse for a bit. He seems nervous and lost, looking very much like a harmless kitten instead of the feared fierce corpse he actually is. Lan Xichen opens his mouth.
"Would you like to come in for a while?"
Lan Xichen nearly bites his lips off after making that offer. He plasters a smile on his face when Wen Ning looks up in shock. His heart pounds in his chest. Why did he invite this man in? He's in seclusion for a reason! He curses in his head, proper Lan upbringing be damned.
"I-If that's alright, then... I'd love to." Wen Ning stretches his lips into a feeble smile.
Lan Xichen sighs inwardly and beckons him in. He heads over to the small kitchen, coming back with a pot of tea and two cups, setting a steaming cup in front of his visitor.
There's a brief awkward silence before Wen Ning thanks him and slowly takes the cup. He holds his tightly in his palms, not taking a single sip, because—
Because he cannot drink, because he's dead—
Lan Xichen wants to slap himself. In his defence, it is mostly definitely after nine, and his brain faculties are a little slow at this time of night. Wen Ning doesn't seem offended though, and so he relaxes, hoping it's too dark for the other (dead!) man to see the burning in his cheeks.
"If I may ask, Young Master Wen," Lan Xichen quickly asks, pouring himself a cup of tea, "what were doing here, roaming the Cloud Recesses at night?"
Wen Ning ducks his head. "I came to see A-Yuan."
A-Yuan. Lan Sizhui. Lan Xichen's nephew and... Wen Ning's relative as well.
Lan Xichen raises an eyebrow. "It's past nine. Sizhui should have been asleep by now."
Wen Ning looks abashed. "P-Please don't punish him. I... I didn't want to alert or scare anyone. Grand Master Lan Qiren doesn't approve of me being near A-Yuan and..." He trails off, looking down at the cup in his hands.
Lan Xichen sighs and smiles lightly. "Rest assured, I won't say a word. And, to my knowledge, even though I am in seclusion, I am still the Sect Leader. You may see A-Yuan during the day. I will speak to Shufu."
Wen Ning's eyes light up, the pitch black irises gleaming with joy. "I...thank you, Zewu-Jun!"
Strange, Lan Xichen thinks, for someone so regarded as a monster and an atrocity, he's so… human.
It's easy conversation after that. Lan Xichen finds himself settling back into the old ways quite quickly, donning the veneer of a gracious host as easily as wearing a well-worn cloak. It leaves an unsettling feeling in his chest (after all this time, has he still not changed? Didn't he learn anything from his self-imposed exile?), but he's somewhat grateful for it.
They talk about Sizhui. Wen Ning is eager to know more about the star pupil of the Lan sect, his eyes holding a special shine to them whenever Lan Xichen praises him. The conversation moves onto other topics, but Lan Xichen's interest doesn't wane in the least.
The silence is not awkward anymore, but comforting and warm. It's only when Lan Xichen tries to pour another cup of tea, but finds none left in the pot that he realises how late it is, and how much time has passed.
He hands Wen Ning a jade token just before he leaves. If Wen Ning's eyebrows could raise all the way to his hairline, they would have, for he looks shocked.
"Zewu-Jun..?"
"You can visit anytime. A-Yuan is as much your family as he is ours. Please, don't feel the need to hide or sneak around." He surprises himself by taking the fierce corpse's hands in his own and placing the jade token firmly on that hard palm.
Wen Ning blinks at him, before he shakily nods, wrapping his stiff fingers around the token with a quiet, stuttered 'thank you.'
It's only after his undead visitor bids him goodnight and leaves, that Lan Xichen's mask drops. He sinks into his knees, covering his face with his hands, trying to think about anything other than the throbbing loneliness in his chest.
He wants, no he needs companionship. It has been so long, too long since he had talked to someone other than his family or Young Master Wei.
His mind suddenly conjures up the images of—
No. Not him. Anyone, but him.
Anyone? Another voice pipes up. Even the Ghost General?
The Ghost General. Lan Xichen recalls their talk. The way Wen Ning's eyes had lit up with pride when Lan Xichen had praised Sizhui. The way his entire being radiated an apologetic mood when he felt like he was intruding.
Wen Ning doesn't smile, unlike him. He doesn't have to, when all the emotions are depicted so clearly, in the slight twists of his mouth, the inflections of his voice. So open and expressive and strangely childlike, his thoughts bare for Lan Xichen to read like a book.
It's endearing. It's dangerous. What if it wasn't real?
Wen Ning would be visiting often. Lan Xichen had given him a token.
It... it couldn't hurt, right?
If worst comes to worst, Lan Xichen decides hazily, rubbing his eyes, Wen Ning is already dead. There's no way I can hurt him any more than what has already been done to him.
____________________
Lan Xichen tosses and turns in his bed with a groan. He'd just woken up from another dream, another nightmare about... them. No matter how much he tries, he cannot shake the nightmares away. The memories are etched permanently beneath his eyelids and he revisits them every time he tries to catch a wink of sleep. They only serve to exhaust him completely both mentally and physically.
He's nearly permanently exhausted these days.
He doesn't feel alive anymore. He's... he feels dead.
He suddenly hears scuffling sounds, before Wen Ning's head pops outside the window. He relaxes, but he's still a bit confused.
He opens the door to a sheepish-looking fierce corpse.
"... Young Master Wen?"
"Sect Leader Lan," Wen Ning bows deeply. "I... I don't mean to presume, b-but... I heard some noises and..."
Huh. What did he..?
Oh, Lan Xichen thinks. I must have shouted in my sleep. A burst of shame fills his heart. He quickly tamps it down before it can fester.
Lan Xichen shuffles awkwardly. "You don't have to worry, it was nothing. I, uh, I thought I said you didn't have to roam at night...?"
Wen Ning looks up with wide eyes, waving his hands, "I...no, no, you misunderstand! I wasn't visiting A-Yuan! I was just... wandering about..."
Lan Xichen glances around. "It's...very late, Young Master Wen."
"Yes, but I... It's not like I can sleep, so...I was just..." Wen Ning shrugs gracelessly.
A strange thought pops up in Lan Xichen's mind. Did he want to see me...?
Again he tamps down the thought, but the seed was already planted in his head. He won't be able to stop thinking of it now.
Despite himself, Lan Xichen feels the corners of his lips tug up into a smile. For the first time in a long while, it didn't feel forced.
"Come in," he says.
After Wen Ning leaves, Lan Xichen slumps into his bed, and is knocked out within minutes.
He doesn't dream of them that night.
____________________
"Xichen-ge!" A loud voice echoes outside the Hanshi's doors, startling the two people inside the room. There's a series of rapid knocks against the door, and Lan Xichen gets up and opens the door.
"Young Master Wei," he grins and ushers the other man in. Wei Wuxian flounces in with his usual boisterous energy, the sunlight streaming briefly through the open door, before it is firmly shut.
"How have you—oh." Wei Wuxian pauses upon seeing Wen Ning inside, "Wen Ning? What are you doing here?" He sits down next to the fierce corpse, who looks slightly embarrassed.
"Y-Young Master Wei... I was just visiting Zewu-Jun." Wen Ning smiles at Wei Wuxian, as much as he can stretch his dead lips. He'd been visiting Lan Xichen during the day now, as per his insistence. It's been a few days since that first meeting, and Lan Xichen finds himself looking forward to every time the Ghost General appears before his door with that shy, sheepish look on his face.
"So I see!" Wei Wuxian grins at them.
Lan Xichen sits down, and pours a cup for his newest visitor.
They chatter for a while, the three of them. Wei Wuxian details all the major events that had taken place within the Cloud Recesses in the last few days. One of them included the time when a few of the junior disciples had gone on a night hunt a few days prior. Lan Xichen listens with rapt attention.
"—it was all thanks to Wen Ning! If he didn't manage to arrive on time, the juniors could've been really heavily injured, or worse—"
Lan Xichen glances at Wen Ning. His dead skin is as pale as ever, but Lan Xichen thinks if blood still flowed through Wen Ning's veins, he'd be blushing quite heavily.
Wen Ning tries to fend off Wei Wuxian's praises. "It was nothing, really nothing!"
"Are you alright?" Lan Xichen blurts out. The both of them pause and turn to look at him. He ignores the feeling of being scrutinized by Wei Wuxian, continuing to bolster on, "Wen Ning. Are you injured?"
He rakes his eyes down Wen Ning's body, trying to look for any external injuries. The fierce corpse squirms slightly under his gaze. It's then that he notices the way the black clothes—rags, more like— hang off Wen Ning's pale frame. They're heavily tattered. How did he not notice before?
Wen Ning looks confused. "I'm... a fierce corpse, Zewu-Jun, I can't be injured..?"
"Even so," Lan Xichen persists. "You must have faced some kind of—"
"Oh that's right!" Wei Wuxian interrupts, "didn't your right arm fall out?" He tuts. "Wen Ning, you should be a bit more careful!"
"Your arm?" Lan Xichen's gaze falls on the appendage. It's firmly fixed to Wen Ning's shoulders, but that doesn't erase the uneasy feeling in his gut.
"I am alright, Zewu-Jun, I assure you." Wen Ning bows his head.
Lan Xichen sighs. "Thank you for saving the junior disciples. Your help is deeply appreciated."
"I...it was really no problem, Zewu-Jun." Wen Ning looks at the cup in his hands. "I would do anything for A-Yuan and the others. They're good kids."
"Please, call me Xichen." Wen Ning's head whips up to look at him, surprise written all over his features. Lan Xichen swallows, hands tightening around his cup. "We are past such formalities, aren't we?"
Wen Ning smiles and nods. "O-Of course, Xichen!"
"Now that's not fair!" Wei Wuxian pouts, the expression looking childish and out of place on a grown man's face, "Why do you listen to Xichen-ge, and not me? How many times have I asked you not to call me Young Master Wei, and yet you keep doing so?" He cocks an eyebrow at the other man.
"I..." Wen Ning's eyes are wide, "Y-Young Master Wei... I didn't...!"
Lan Xichen laughs. He cannot help it, the way Wen Ning gets flustered is truly amusing. A light feeling bubbles up in his chest, strange and wonderful.
"Well," Wei Wuxian gets up with a chuckle, glancing between the two of them with a knowing glint in those mischievous eyes of his, "I'll leave you two to talk! I better get back to Lan Zhan."
Lan Xichen interrupts before he can leave, "Please ask one of the maids for a change of clothes as well, Wei Wuxian."
"Oh, why?" Wei Wuxian peers at Lan Xichen curiously.
Lan Xichen takes a sip of his tea, closing his eyes and savouring the heady aroma. He places the teacup down, opening his eyes and looking straight into Wen Ning's coal black ones.
"It's for our guest here, of course." Lan Xichen smiles.
____________________
"Zewu-Jun!"
"Zewu-Juuuun!!!"
Lan Xichen smiles and waves at the two ecstatic young men. "Sizhui, Jingyi," he greets. "How have you two been?"
"We missed you Zewu-Jun!" Jingyi pipes up, while Sizhui laughs lightly.
"I've missed you too," he says, then his eyes catch upon the other young man standing awkwardly next to the two disciples.
Oh. It's Wen Ning, and he looks...
He looks...
"Ah, yes," Lan Jingyi grins widely from ear to ear, gesturing towards Wen Ning, "Doesn't Senior Wen look great? The flowers were my idea, by the way. Tell him, Sizhui!"
"The flowers were Jingyi's idea," Sizhui smiles at Lan Xichen. "He wished to make Senior Wen look, in his words, ‘less scary’."
"I-I told them it wasn't necessary," Wen Ning states hesitantly.
"No, I...You look really good," he says to Wen Ning, feeling a bit slow and stupid as he gazes at him.
Wen Ning's wearing the pure white robes of a guest of the Lan sect. His hair is neatly combed, tied back from his face and pulled into a side braid. It's adorned with flowers, vibrant blooms of different colours spilling all over the ink black of his hair. The dazzling white of the robes makes the colour of his skin look darker, more human, seeming flushed with life despite the contradictory reality.
He's absolutely lovely, Lan Xichen thinks dazedly.
"Thank you Xichen," Wen Ning states in a quiet voice. He's smiling, his eyes shining under the light. Lan Xichen sucks in a small breath, and feels his lips tug up as well. ("Did he just call him Xichen?!" Lan Jingyi screeches in the background, but Lan Xichen doesn't pay him much mind.)
"Would you like to walk with me?" Lan Xichen asks.
"O-Oh, gladly," Wen Ning says, and Lan Xichen leads him around as they explore the Cloud Recesses together.
He hasn't seen several of these buildings in months, and it's new and exciting. He notices all the slight changes made when he was gone. The air feels cool and fresh against his face, and the presence beside him is a sure, steady comfort.
He's not sure how this came to be. It's so strange and unprecedented, but now he can fully state that he considers Wen Ning to be a close friend.
They talk again. He never seems to run out of things to discuss with Wen Ning.
When Wen Ning states that he'll leave soon, Lan Xichen's heart stutters in his chest.
He's sure Wen Ning probably has other things to do, besides keeping a lonely man company. He knows, but it still sends a pang of distress through his chest.
He smiles and nods. There’s nothing else he can say.
Wen Ning stays for a few more days more, before leaving, clad in the clean white robes Lan Xichen lent him. Lan Xichen feels... sad to see him go. It was wonderful while it lasted, but he has duties, he knows this and yet...
And yet.
____________________
It's a few months later when Lan Xichen sees Wen Ning again. He looks well, is his first thought.
Indeed he did. His clothes are neat, his hair is as soft and presentable as he can tame it. He shuffles his feet, looking awkwardly down, and Lan Xichen's heart bursts with quiet affection.
He beckons him in eagerly, and they sit down to talk about Wen Ning's travels, the places he'd been to, the sights he'd seen. Wen Ning's a surprisingly good storyteller, able to both captivate and engage his audience with ease, once he got over his usual shyness.
He still pours tea for him. Wen Ning had mentioned that although he couldn't drink it, he could still feel the faint heat of the cup, and it was enjoyable for him.
It's relaxing, and Lan Xichen had missed their talks more than he likes to admit.
It's only when Wen Ning leaves to reside at the small quarters Lan Xichen has set aside for him, that he fully explores the feeling in his heart.
He's... happy. Much happier than he's been in months.
He presses his palm against his chest, feeling his heart pound underneath, steady and sure.
____________________
It's become routine for the both of them by now. Wen Ning leaves, then comes back and visits Lan Xichen. They talk, exchange stories. Sometimes Wen Ning brings him little things that had fascinated him on his travels, small trinkets and the like.
It's a while before Wen Ning talks about the Burial Mounds and his deceased sister, Wen Qing. He tells him about her in stuttered sentences, the sadness bleeding out from the words even when his face was blank of all emotion. Lan Xichen can still read those minute expressions though. He's gotten used to picking out the various shifts in mood through the subtle changes in facial features after spending years with his brother. It's second nature to him by now.
Wen Ning's toying with his favourite cup in his hand when he says, "Someday soon, I will die for a second time and finally join them."
Lan Xichen's heart constricts in his chest. Wen Ning's smiling slightly, a soft and wistful look on his face when he thinks of the family he used to have.
"I can feel it coming. I'm... growing weaker.” Wen Ning's face twists, the set of his mouth turning down. He laughs and it’s slightly self deprecating. “One day, something will tear me apart too badly and I'll finally crumble into dust."
Lan Xichen can't bear this. He grabs the fierce corpse's wrist. Wen Ning glances up, stunned.
"Don't say that." Lan Xichen chokes out. His voice is shaking. "You're not... expendable. I remember you losing an arm trying to save the juniors. You're not supposed to give away your life so easily. Please... do you think no one would mourn you?"
Wen Ning sighs. "Xichen-ge," he says, slowly, looking down. Despite his previous words, he looks peaceful, resigned. "I was supposed to be dead a long time ago. I'm grateful for the time I've had but... the time I've had till now is borrowed. To me, there is no better way to go than to give my life for A-Yuan, or Young Master Wei."
A deep heavy silence settles over the both of them. It’s painful, and it breaks something in Lan Xichen’s chest.
"I would miss you," Lan Xichen whispers. The sky is dark outside and the flickering candlelight casts shadows on the fierce corpse's face.
Wen Ning smiles at him. It's a creaky, wobbly thing, but no less beautiful in its sincerity.
"I'm glad," he murmurs. "I'm so thankful to Young Master Wei, and A-Yuan, and you. You've made my existence have meaning again. Thank you."
Lan Xichen cannot breathe. "Stay here, please," he says. "Just for tonight." He cannot bear to let Wen Ning out of his sight anymore. He feels bare and open and vulnerable.
Something changes that night.
It's not long before Lan Xichen pours out his true emotions, those feelings he'd locked up deep inside of him to Wen Ning. He tells him about Da-ge, about A-Yao, and Wen Ning rocks him in his arms as he cries into the hard flesh of his shoulder, runs his hands soothingly through Lan Xichen's hair and back, softly sings a gentle melody to him as he drifts off to sleep in his arms.
Wen Ning's heart may not be beating, but Lan Xichen can still feel it so clearly, in the words of comfort he presses to Lan Xichen's forehead, in the sure strength of his arms around him, in the way Lan Xichen awoke in the morning to find himself tucked in neatly under the covers.
Wen Ning is so alive in a way that Lan Xichen isn't, and he cannot help but crave that warmth.
____________________
Lan Wangji comes to visit one day with a strange expression on his face.
"Brother," he says, watching Lan Xichen pluck his fingers against the strings of the guqin, "Are you and Wen Ning..."
Lan Xichen rests his hand against the qin to still the quivering strings. He’s sure his feelings are as clear as day for his brother, and indeed, he doesn’t have to say anything before Wangji makes a noise of understanding.
“What do you think of me now?” Lan Xichen murmurs quietly. He knows Wangji won't think any less of him, but the fear still lingers. Wangji sits down next to him, and Lan Xichen immediately feels less exposed.
“Brother is brother.” Wangji states. It’s a simple statement and despite himself, he feels the corners of his mouth tug up again. He plays a small tune, humming quietly under his breath.
“Wen Ning is a good man,” Lan Wangji says, “Wei Ying told me he likes you as well.”
Lan Xichen smiles wider. A warm feeling bubbles up in his heart, new and exciting and anticipatory. “Is that so?” he hums. He’d suspected that his feelings were returned, of course, but it was nice to have confirmation.
“He’s still dead though,” he points out to Lan Wangji. His brother lets out a huff of air, his version of an amused laugh.
“He still exists.” Wangji says simply, then gets up, leaving Lan Xichen still beaming like a loon.
Wen Ning visits a few hours later, per usual, and Lan Xichen takes him to one of the highest points of Gusu. They’re looking down at miles and miles of untouched wilderness as far as the eye can see, the familiar mist shrouding everything in an ethereal glow. The sun’s almost about to set, the sky painted with streaks of pink, gold, and midnight blue.
“Do you know what this place is called?” Lan Xichen asks the other man. At his questioning look, he smiles sweetly at him. “Lover’s peak,” he says, chuckling when Wen Ning sputters. He’s sure if Wen Ning was still alive, he’d be flushing prettily. As it stands, this is also nice, Lan Xichen thinks. Wen Ning’s shuffling his feet, glancing up shyly at him, and it's so, so endearing.
He takes Wen Ning’s hand in his own, and Wen Ning gapes at him. Despite him being almost sure, he’s still nervous.
“A-Ning, would you sit with me here?” he asks. His meaning couldn’t be clearer, and Wen Ning looks at him in wonder, before beaming at him. It’s the brightest smile he’d gotten from him so far, and his heart swells with joy.
They sit hand in hand, watching the sun set beneath the clouds.
~end~