Chapter Text
“So, promise you won’t get angry” Whizzer starts, and Charlotte could already tell she was going to get furious at whatever he had to say.
“Spill it, wonder boy” she hisses and crosses her arms. She had only wanted to come home to her apartment which she shared with her wonderful girlfriend, who she had been longing to see all day (everyday). Never had Charlotte thought about seeing Whizzer, or for him to be standing at the entrance of their home greeting her instead of her sweet Cordelia.
“Right, but I can see that you’re already getting angry so maybe you should take five and have a calm walk—“ he rambles on, something rather unusual of him, and Charlotte could now sense that something was wrong. Mostly also by the way he was glancing back in to her apartment and not letting her pass by the front door.
“Whizzer” she calmly interrupts him, and he closes his mouth and stares at her for a second.
“Cordelia fainted”
“SHE WHAT?” Charlotte shouts instantly, suddenly feeling a sense of dread wash over her. “Why the hell didn’t you contact me? Is she okay? When did this happen?” She tries to push past him and search for her lover, who was hopefully not injured, and god did she wish nothing bad had happened to her girlfriend. But Whizzer adamantly stays put, his strong frame keeping her in place and locked outside. She frowned and furiously shoved at him, but it was weak and not meant to be anything more than a sign of anger towards the situation. “Why the fuck are you still not letting me into my own fucking apartment?” She commands, and he winces at the double fuck she just pulled in one sentence.
“I really need you to calm down, especially right now with... everything happening inside” he asks politely, and Charlotte quiets down and takes a deep breath. His serious expression and voice made her understand that whatever was going on was only going to be made worse with Charlotte’s anger pushed on top. “She was making me a lemon martini, something we made up together a while ago, you see you just need to squeeze some-’’ he explains further when Charlotte looks confused at his words, but she raises a hand to stop him from elaborating.
‘’Anyway, sorry, gonna get back to it now- I accidentally nudged her arm, which made her cut herself. “ he starts, and Charlotte was about to ask him questions at rapid speed, like what did he do with the cut and if the wound was properly cleaned up or not. He continued on before any words were formed.
“Then I panicked and screamed and I didn’t know she was... she is sensitive to loud screaming” he puts it vaguely, and Charlotte tenses up at that. “I freaked her out even more and I guess she got light headed... and fainted” he finally says, ending it all with a wave of his hands for flair, but she could only glare at him.
It wasn’t fair, she knows that deep down, but it was still frustrating to know Whizzer had triggered one of Cordelia’s breakdowns. She herself had once done the same, nearly a month after they started living together a little over a year ago. They had had their first and most horrible fight ever, about something to do with the marbled counters being slightly discolored due to Cordelia placing a hot pot on it in a hurry.
It wasn’t that big of an issue, nothing a good pot of herbs couldn’t hide, but Charlotte had been having a stressful and death filled day, which made her cranky and she had accidentally snapped. They had bickered back and forth like usual, until for the first time Charlotte had raised her voice and shouted angrily at Cordelia.
If she had been paying closer attention she would have noted how the blonde had frozen up and quieted down, or how her eyes started to glaze with tears and her teeth biting harshly into her lip. She hadn’t seen the signs of pure stress and anxiety until Cordelia had simply turned around and walked into the rarely used walk in closet by the door, where all their extra coats hung(which was around seven materials in a rather spacious place). She had locked herself in there for four hours, ignoring Charlottes please to come out, until it was late and they both needed to sleep due to having a job to wake up to the next day.
She didn’t speak to her the entire night and for the first time since they started sharing a bed, it felt like she was miles away even though she was right next to her. It was an odd feeling for Charlotte and it sure hurt her to know that she had made Cordelia feel the need to distance herself from somebody she was supposed to trust.
They didn’t talk about the counter top ever again, but Cordelia did share some heartbreaking information with her the night after, when they had both apologized profusely and cuddled in bed together after a lovely and simple meal. Cordelia had been sensitive to yelling, especially when it was directed at her in a tone of aggression. Something about her asshole parents raising their children with stern rules and tons of yelling, and other things that Charlotte feared to ask about, that in the end traumatized their children to many normal things.
She had made sure to never raise her voice when angry ever again, or at least try to never do it when she was furious. Even when hot tempered and angered, Charlotte never wanted her girlfriend to be afraid of her.
She finally sighs and stops glaring. “Is she still resting?” She decides to ask instead of berating him, and he nods, although still looking guilty of what he had done. He should be feeling bad since it was his fault, but Charlotte would never blatantly say that to him. And yet again, he didn’t know and was allowed to panic at such a moment. “Alright, you can go home now” she points behind her with her thumb, gesturing for him to get the hell out of her way, and he sheepishly nods ands steps to the side. She walks in and now that their places are reversed, she feels much better and more in control.
“I know It’s not my place to ask but.. why did-“ she knew what he was about to ask and immediately raised a stern finger up.
“You’re right, it’s certainly not your place to ask such a question to me.” She says and he shuts up again. It was simply hilarious how a short, black, lesbian woman could make a white, tall and strong man shut up with a sentence. Was this what it was like to be privileged?
She dismisses that thought and instead focuses on the mess that awaits her, and her girlfriend who was in pain right now laying all alone. “You can ask Cordelia herself some other day” she says, trying to at least end their conversation with a small smile before closing the door in his face.
She undresses quickly off her jacket and white coat, taking her boots off and finally placing her small hat on the shelf above the shoe stand. It felt eerily quiet when she did so, and she was honestly scared by it. This was such a drastic change of atmosphere to the typical homey and lovey one she came home to usually, one where Cordelia was humming and laughing over something funny she has read in a magazine about cooking and baking (with models, of course, so the food was always unhealthily served in a small bowl and was almost always a salad)(Charlotte was thankful Cordelia never really tried any of those recipes, only occasionally baking brownies made out of avocados and such) (they were delicious, but one could most certainly tell it was made out of avocados)
Continuing down the hallways and into the living room and kitchen, she was honestly surprised to see that her girlfriend was not there, either still laying on the floor or on the couch at least. No, she instead finds her in their bed, her blonde hair tousled and face smushed into the blankets.
Charlotte worry slaps her back in the face when she realizes that her girlfriend was shaking, her face contorted into a small pout and her tear stained face breaking her heart. She seemed damaged, almost like... like her right arm that was messily wrapped in bandages, Whizzers clear distraught visible in the awkward wraps of it.
It was also scary too find that there was still blood seeping out of the cut, and that it certainly wasn’t the nick Whizzer had said it was earlier, or at least insinuated it in his voice. Perhaps this wasn’t as big of a deal than what her girlfriend was going through.
She cleaned up Cordelia’s arm, bathing the wound in a hot, wet towel that soaked up the blood before professionally wrapping up the wound. It wasn’t before two hours had come by and Cordelia had still not woken up that Charlotte decided that maybe it was time to wake her up and check on her. She had also missed hearing her girlfriend’s voice, and watching her sleeping so deeply(something that always brought comfort and peace into Charlotte’s life) was starting to scare her.
“Cordelia, baby?” She whispers, settling her weight on the bed next to her girlfriend and placing a hand on her arms, rubbing it up and down. The motion seemed to stir her a bit, but not anything to make Cordelia want to wake up.
“Wake up, honey, you’re going to be up all night and you hate that” Charlotte says, smiling softly when Cordelia finally yawns and opens her eyes a bit. Charlotte was thankful for the sun dimly lighting up the room, since the light in the room would’ve caused her to go momentarily blind. “Hey” she greets her when the blonde is finally awake enough to keep her eyes open.
“Hi...” Cordelia’s hoarse voice makes them both chuckle a bit, then they fall quiet as Charlotte smiles down at her girlfriend and starts playing with her wild curls. “I had an awful day...” Cordelia mutters, starting to get out of bed slowly but only to be pushed back down by the brunette. She seemed shocked at that. “But I didn’t make you dinner-“
“I’ve already eaten, Whizzer came by and brought some apology lasagna, there’s some left for you” she responds, and Cordelia only half whimpers that she wasn’t hungry before placing her head back into the covers. There was a small pause, where Charlotte was soothingly rubbing circles on her shoulder in comfort, and Cordelia herself was breathing deeply, probably thinking about something.
“I guess whizzer told you everything?” She asks, even if her voice was muffled by the pillow, but Charlotte hears it loud and clear. Her voice was so small, much akin to a child’s, but the undertone of fear and disappointment were making their presence known when she sniffled and curled a bit into herself.
“What, did you think of not telling me?” She replies, her voice filled with disbelief, but she still tried to form the question into some sort of joke.
“Maybe?” She heard in reply, and Charlotte closes her eyes and thinks for a few seconds.
“Babe, you can’t keep your well-being a secret from your girlfriend, who cares very much about you and who you live with” Charlotte scolds her lightly and Cordelia sits up straight at that. She glances at her, looking perplexed for a moment, before flickering her gaze elsewhere.
“But it was stupid and I could’ve handled it much better” Cordelia complains, staring at her bandaged arm
“It’s not stupid, Cordelia.”
“And Whizzer probably thought I was being such a drama queen, he is probably going to never want to hang out again” Cordelia says immediately after, reliving those few panicked moments before she had fainted on the kitchen floor and probably bled all over the place.
“Whizzer doesn’t care about that, he is very -“
“Oh god, the kitchen needs cleaning too, and I need to make something for Whizzer as an apology, and I forgot to turn the TV off and the bathroom-“
The light touch of a hand interlocking with Cordelia’s made her quiet down, and she stared at it as her breath hitched in surprise. “Delia, everything is taken care of”
She furrowed her eyebrows and looked skeptic. “How?”
“You’ve been asleep since three, honey. It’s eight o’clock now” Wrong thing to say, Charlotte realizes when she sees her girlfriend's face pale a bit in surprise. She should’ve probably said that Whizzer had already cleaned the kitchen and that she had cleaned everything else up whilst waiting for Cordelia to rest.
Cordelia shuffles out of bed again, this time faster than Charlotte could pull her back in. She stands up on wobbly feet, but then plops down on the bed due to not having any more power in her body. It was frustrating that she had slept five hours and her body was still tired.
The doctor goes around the bed to stand in front of Cordelia, only to then squat down and stare up at her with a soft smile. The blonde tries not to respond to her smile, but it was hard not to when she felt the love oozing out of her girlfriend.
“Now rest here for a few more minutes whilst I go and cut you a piece of Lasagna” Charlotte pats her lap and stands up straight again.
“But I'm not hungry-“
“I know you Cordelia, and I’m not going to let you starve just because you belittle yourself and ignore your needs” she interferes and raises an eyebrow when Delia opens her mouth to protest. She probably figured that this was a closed argument now, and Charlotte smirks at her defeated but sort of happy pout her girlfriend puts on. “Also, don’t think you’re getting out of talking about your feelings” the doctor says and exits the room before the woman inside could make another fuss about it.
It felt weird at first, to talk about her feeling out loud to someone else who wasn’t herself, Cordelia had thought. But now, with Charlotte actively trying to push them both to be open with each other because it’s very healthy to be honest and not hide anything, it felt right.
Even though Cordelia was still shy of the prospect, her girlfriend’s open and gentleness made it feel more natural in many situations.