Work Text:
Dead End woke up slowly out of recharge and stared at the all too familiar purple ceiling. He listened carefully and grimaced as the rolling booms of a raging thunderstorm rang in his audials. Great. Just fragging fantastic.
Although it had only been several days since Megatron left on a reconnaissance mission with the Insecticons, it seemed like forever. Maybe his chronometer was busted, and it actually had been a thousand years. It definitely felt like it.
Megatron had checked in right before the lightning severed all communications. He said that they had found a safe place to hunker down for the duration and ordered him to do the same. According to their scanners, in this dimension, electrical storms could last for days or perhaps weeks. Dead End shuddered at the thought.
The storm showed no signs of waning. Lightning flashed and thunder roared. Even inside, a faint static charge prickled along his plating. The violence of the electrical disturbance would spell certain death to any metallic lifeform that dared to venture outside.
Unfortunately, Dead End’s shelter wasn’t so much a “where” as a “who.” When the electrical storm rolled in, he and Astrotrain were waiting for Megatron’s return in the exposed desert terrain. As long as he remained completely stationary, Astrotrain’s locomotive alt mode was substantial enough to be grounded against the lightning. He instantly transformed, planted himself, and beckoned Dead End inside. They were trapped with each other for the foreseeable future, not that Astrotrain seemed to mind. The triple-changer was having a blast, entirely at Dead End’s expense.
Dead End sat up and gingerly placed his feet on the floor. The walls twitched and a soft snicker echoed down the hall. He groaned. Astrotrain was already awake. No sneaking into the cargo bay for a peaceful cube of energon this morning. Dead End would sell his spark to Unicron for a nice solitary cave about now. Since that wasn’t an option, he drew himself up and strode towards the open door, already knowing what’s coming.
BOOM! The door slammed shut right in his face as he reached the threshold and he crashed into the solid barrier.
“Every fragging time.” He muttered, shaking his head to clear his circuits. Ignoring the ambient giggling, he pounded on the door. “Open up, Space Bus!”
“Aww! Come on!” The annoying disembodied voice snickered. “You can do better than that!”
“Ugh! FINE!!” Dead End dragged a palm down his face. He gritted his teeth and forced politeness through his irritation. “Astrotrain. PLEASE. Would you be so kind as to open this door?!”
“I dunno...” The triple-changer pondered. “That sounded a little sarcastic...”
“Oh? You want sarcastic? I’ll show you sarcastic!” Dead End growled, clenching his fists.
“Primus! Someone got up on the wrong side of the berth!” Astrotrain chided, but opened the door.
Dead End grumbled and quickly leapt through the opening into the cargo bay before the rapidly closing door clipped his fender. Given a choice, he always preferred to keep his own company. In fact, he only joined the Decepticons so everyone would quit asking him to choose a side and leave him alone.
His shoulders slumped. Why did he follow Megatron through a dimensional rift to search for a way to defeat the Quintessons? He never had a reason to care if Cybertron survived in the past. Stupid Autobot’s heroic tendencies must have rubbed off on him. And where did it get him? Stuck hiding out in this insufferable idiot who apparently only knew how to communicate through pranks.
Dead End reached for the case of energon cubes. Suddenly, the shelf height shifted, raising them just out of reach. He hopped up and the shelf rose and fell along with him, never close enough to grasp.
“Oh, for frag’s sake!” He huffed as Astrotrain giggled.
“If you needed help,” The shelf lowered enough for Dead End to swipe a single energon cube, “You could have just asked.”
Dead End growled, knocking back his energon in one gulp. He didn’t need to see Astrotrain’s face to hear the smirk in his voice. If this storm didn’t end soon, he might run outside and take his chances with the lightning. Part of the reason that he hadn’t done that the fifth time his berth collapsed beneath him was that he didn’t think he actually could get out. Despite being obnoxious as a rust infection, Astrotrain vowed to protect him from the storm. But who was going to protect him from Astrotrain?
Sighing from the depth of his spark, Dead End moved to sit on a bench only to have it dodge away at the last second. He sprawled flat on his back. The laughter reverberating through the locomotive’s frame frazzled his circuits.
“ENOUGH!” Dead End shouted, scrambling to his feet. “What the hell?! I suppose you think this is real fragging funny, don’t you?!”
“Sure do!” Astrotrain snickered.
“AAHHH! This is torture!” Dead End moaned, burying his face in his hands. Completely unconcerned with his plight, the thunder continued to rumble so loudly it shook Astrotrain’s heavy frame.
“Pfft! Puh-lease!” Astrotrain scoffed. “Believe me! I know torture, and this ain’t even close. I’ve been trapped in my alt mode loads of times before, but I’ve always been alone. This is the first time that I’ve got my best friend to keep me company!”
“Now, you listen here-” Dead froze as his brain processed Astrotrain’s response. There was quite a bit to unpack there. “What did you say?”
“Which part?” Astrotrain mused. “The part about the torture or the being locked in my alt mode or-”
“The part about your best friend.” Dead End narrowed his optics. Although the storm had trapped them together for days like dragged on like centuries, this is probably their longest conversation. Up until now, Dead End had done his best merely to survive Astrotrain’s relentless pranks.
“You rescued me from the other Megatron. I owe you my life! We’re best friends forever!!”
“What?! You can’t be serious!” Dead End stammered. He honestly considered getting fried by lightning as a more favorable alternative to being trapped inside of Astrotrain for weeks on end.
“Oh, but I am!” Astrotrain laughed.
Dead End groaned. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, desperately striving to ward off the imminent headache. “Primus. I need a drink.”
“Really?!” Astrotrain chirped. He lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “What if I told you I know where we can get some engex?”
“We’re trapped in the middle of a never-ending electrical storm in some Primus-forsaken dimension searching for a way back to Cybertron. Where could we possibly find engex?!”
“The Insecticons smuggled a case aboard. Check their room. Feels like...” Astrotrain rocked slightly. “Right corner.”
“Yes!” Dead End pumped his fist, allowing himself a rare moment of happiness. He turned to check the Insecticons room, stopping short. “Can you even consume engex in your alt mode?”
“Totally! I have a fuel intake in my cabin. Hurry up! I know it’s there, but I can’t get it myself!”
For the first time since the storm began, Dead End grinned. “I’ll share with you, but you have to promise to lay off the pranks.”
“Awww! Come on!” Astrotrain whined. “I haven’t had this much fun in forever.”
“I’m serious! If you don’t promise, I’ll drink it all myself!” Dead End jabbed a finger at the cargo bay wall. Astrotrain giggled and squirmed, reminding Dead End of the utter weirdness of his situation: Lost in an alternate dimension, sheltering from endless crackling lightning bolts inside a gigantic annoying space shuttle who is also a train. He shuddered. Since he was doomed either way, he should have just taken his chances with the Quintessons.
“Okay! Okay! Fine! Primus!” Astrotrain huffed. “I swear I won’t prank you every time. Besides, it’ll be more fun if it’s a surprise!”
Dead End winced. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. Since he didn’t have any better ones, he shrugged and wandered off in search of the engex. Shockingly, every door opened for him and none of the thresholds rose up to trip him. He found the Insecticons’ secret stash exactly where Astrotrain told him.
“Thank you.” Dead End quietly muttered his gratitude to any attentive deity.
“You’re welcome!” Astrotrain’s voice boomed through the hallways. “Now bring it into my cabin and we’ll have a drink together! Just like best buds!”
“Whatever.” Dead End rolled his optics. He lugged the case of engex cubes into Astrotrain’s cabin. The Insecticons wouldn’t be happy when they got back, but too bad. They didn’t have to weather this storm stuck inside a giant jerk.
Dead End made the short trek mercifully prank-free. If he’d known all he had to do was ask the triple-changer to back off a bit, he’d have done it sooner and saved himself a lot of grief.
“Whoa!” Dead End flinched when he stepped into Astrotrain’s cabin and gaped out his huge tinted windshield. Twisting ribbons of lightning flashed across the open terrain. White hot electricity streaked with hints of violet tore through the ashen clouds as the thunder ominously rumbled. He found himself longing for the cozy security of the cargo bay. “Is it like this all the time?”
“Yeah. Crazy, right? Why do you think I mess with you so much? It gives me something else to focus on.”
A twinge of guilt shot through Dead End’s spark. He pushed it away. Having to watch the lethal lightning illuminate the darkness didn’t give this idiot the right to prank him constantly. If he needed a distraction, he could have watched a movie or something.
“Have a seat!” A vid screen with an image of Astrotrain’s face popped up as a chair spun towards Dead End. He eyed it suspiciously.
“Hmm...” Dead End considered leaving, but where else could he go. As long as the lightning continued, they were stuck with each other. He huffed in resignation and tried to sit down. The chair instantly jolted away, and he lost his balance. He yelped and fell backwards. Before he hit the floor, the chair swung back around and caught him.
“Ha ha! Got you!” Astrotrain laughed.
“Very funny.” He grumped. Somehow Dead End found it less obnoxious when he could see Astrotrain’s smile instead of being laughed at by a disembodied voice. At least the jerk didn’t drop him this time.
“Relax!” Astrotrain’s digital face grinned at him from the monitor. “I’m just giving you a hard time. You know, like best friends do.”
“Right.” Dead End replied drily. He leaned back in the chair with a smug smile and propped his feet up on the control panel. Astrotrain narrowed his optics and gave him the side-eye.
“Really?!” The triple-changer huffed indignantly. “Your feet?! On my dashboard?! Rude!”
“Relax.” Dead End smirked, savoring a bit of personal revenge. He popped open an engex cube and took a swig. “I’m just giving you a hard time. You know how it is.”
“Oooh! I gotcha! Nice one, buddy!” Astrotrain nodded in appreciation. “Crack one of those open for me and chuck it in the fuel port on your left.”
Dead End opened another engex cube and placed it in the small square receptacle as directed. An animated curly straw appeared on the screen and Astrotrain took a sip. The engex level in the cube lowered. Unsure of exactly how that worked, Dead End shrugged and took another sip himself.
“We really shouldn’t be doing this.” Dead End swirled the engex in his cube, watching the lightning flicker its deadly dance. They are probably all going to wind up dead.
“Nope.” Astrotrain agreed as he took another drink.
“Getting drunk in the middle of a brutal electrical storm is such a bad idea.” Dead End vented and gulped another mouth full of engex.
“Probably the worst idea.” Astrotrain grinned. “But we’re totally gonna do it!”
“Hell yeah we are.” Dead End chuckled. Everything about this situation was so monumentally stupid he couldn’t help himself. He glanced at the case of engex. There wasn’t really that much and Astrotrain was huge. How tipsy could they possibly get? Besides, with no end to the storm in sight, neither one of them would be driving anywhere anytime soon. When he wasn’t relentlessly slamming doors on him or moving things out of reach, Astrotrain wasn’t completely intolerable. As much as he tried to deny it, he was a little flattered that the big idiot considered him his best friend.
Lightning struck nearby and the accompanying crack of thunder shook Astrotrain’s frame. Ozone crackled through the air. Dead End slouched a little lower. Watching the storm through Astrotrain’s huge windshield was terrifying. He needed to focus on something other than the blinding flashes of voltaic violence raging around them. No wonder Astrotrain pestered him all the time.
“Hey, Space Bus?”
“Hmm?” Astrotrain hummed as he slurped down the last bit of his first cube.
“What did you mean... before... when you said that I was your best friend?” Dead End cracked open another cube and replaced the empty one in Astrotrain’s fuel port.
“Thanks.” Astrotrain drank some more. “I thought you were a smart bot. It’s not really that hard to figure out. You’re great! I could prank you all day!”
“That’s wonderful news.” Dead End groaned, his sarcasm wasted on Astrotrain.
“I know right!” The triple-changer's digital visage grinned. “Plus, you saved my life!”
“About that... Why were you frozen in your locomotive alt by a mode-lock when we found you?”
“As punishment...” Astrotrain chewed his lip and sighed. “My Megatron is nothing like yours. He’s ruthless and terrible and completely lacking the aggressive charm. Since I have a huge shuttle alt mode, he just wanted me to shut up and serve as his personal transport. I slammed my doors in his face once and he was NOT amused, let me tell you. No sense of humor at all.”
Dead End winced. In moments of extreme aggravation, he sometimes threatened to rip out Astrotrain’s circuits, but he had no intentions of following through with those threats. That deep purple Megatron and his army of masked brutes would have no qualms about tearing another bot to pieces.
“After the medics put me back together, he forced me to transform into a train with no tracks in sight. That’s like super insulting, not to mention extremely uncomfortable. With the mode-lock on, I couldn’t transform at all. Who knows how long I’d have been languishing there if you hadn’t come along. You didn’t have to free me, but you did...”
Acutely aware of Astrotrain’s uncharacteristic silence, Dead End shrugged. “Well, we were on the run from him after my Megatron stole his matrix. He wasn’t too happy about that either. We never would have escaped without your help. So, I guess I owe you too. When I disabled the mode-lock, you transformed and flew us all to safety in your shuttle mode.”
“It was the least that I could do.” Astrotrain smiled and drained his second cube. “Speaking of the least you could do... Grab me another cold one!”
“Come on, Space Bus!” Dead End pulled out another engex cube and a wicked grin spread across his face. He gently sloshed the engex tantalizingly above Astrotrain’s fuel port. “You can do better than that!”
“Oh my god! I can’t believe you!” Astrotrain rolled his optics. “Fine! Dead End. Would you PLEASE be so kind as to give me some more engex?”
“That’s more like it!” Dead End dropped the cube into the slot with a satisfied smirk. Two can play the prank game.
Dead End shifted his legs on the dashboard and savored the slight buzz warming his processor, more comfortable than he’d been in ages. He stretched, leaning back in his seat. However, the chair kept tipping further and further. Reaction time muddled by the engex, he didn’t hold on fast enough as the chair rocked all the way back, flipping him onto the floor.
Astrotrain snorted into his engex and burst into laughter.
Sprawled flat on his back, Astrotrain’s raucous laughter tickled his frame. Dead End struggled to regain his composure, but he couldn’t help himself. The heady cocktail of engex, ticklish plating, and tentative friendship got the best of him. He burst into laughter too.
“I hate you so much!” Dead End giggled, casual camaraderie replacing the venom that usually filled that phrase. He laid on the floor and laughed.
Astrotrain’s face grinned at him from the monitor screen as he giggled in return. “Aww! Thanks, buddy! I hate you too!!”
The storm continued to rage. Lightning flashed and thunder roared. For once Dead End didn’t shrink in fear at the danger lurking outside. He couldn’t even hear it over the sound of their laughter.