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It is said that soulmates are always drawn towards each other - as if they were tied together with a string of fate that made sure they would not drift apart.
If you feel that unexplainable pull towards someone, it means they are your soulmate. And if you're unsure… just look into their eyes.
It is said, after all, that if you look into your soulmate's eyes, you'll be able to see the string of fate reflected there.
***
For most of his life, Wei Wuxian had been intrigued about the idea of soulmates. He wanted to find his - someone that would understand him better than anyone else, someone that would love him unconditionally and receive the same love in exchange.
Wei Wuxian craved for that type of simplicity, that type of reassurance. Of having someone that would not need a reason to love him, that would not leave him when Wei Wuxian became a little annoying.
Wei Wuxian was 16 now, but he had not yet felt the pull of the string of fate. Not even once.
'Maybe in the Gusu Lan sect.' He mused, as he climbed the stairs up with many other disciples. They would be studying in the Lan sect for a year and Wei Wuxian hoped that maybe he'd finally feel the pull. Finally see the string of fate in his soulmate's eyes.
***
"This is such bullshit!" Wei Wuxian cursed quietly, as he sat in the company of his new friend Nie Huaisang and his shidi Jiang Cheng.
"You already knew what to expect." Jiang Cheng scowled. "Or what, did you think that somehow the things you've learned in Yunmeng were false?"
"I hoped at least that part would be false." Wei Wuxian sighed and placed his head on the table with a low thud. "I mean… does it even make sense to restrict their freedom like that? Even more than the countless rules do?"
Nie Huaisang listened to the conversation, hoping that he'd eventually understand what the two were referring to, but he was unable to.
"What are you talking about?" He asked nervously, his fan fluttering.
"The string of fate. Soulmates." Jiang Cheng replied, his eyes not moving away from Wei Wuxian for even a moment.
"What about that?" Nie Huaisang asked again, getting even more confused. He could not understand what made Wei Wuxian so… downcast.
"It's those ribbons they wear! Why can't they all just… I don't know. Wear them on their foreheads maybe? Why do they have to blindfold themselves??" Wei Wuxian was pouring, and he did not try to hide his petulant tone. "Doesn't that make their life harder?"
"Of course it does. But they are cultivators, it would not affect them too much. With enough training and experience, the lack of sight would not even matter any more, it would not be a weakness." Jiang Cheng explained, in the exact same way as they had been taught for years.
The Gusu Lan sect members wore blindfolds, it was said. But underestimating them would just be foolish, as the lack of sight did not become their weakness.
"They do have a reason for covering their eyes." Nie Huaisang pitched in. "The Gusu Lan sect believes that you should be able to find your soulmate, your true love, without the use of your eyes. It's even in their rules. They say it is too easy, like cheating, if you find your soulmate by simply looking into their eyes and seeing that string of fate."
"It's still such bullshit. Who cares if it's easy or not to find your soulmate?" Wei Wuxian scowled.
"The only ones that wear the ribbon on their forehead are the ones that have already found their soulmate." Nie Huaisang whispered conspiratorially. "Teacher Lan Qiren wears his on his forehead too."
"What?" Wei Wuxian immediately forgot about his previous woes, latching onto the new piece of gossip. "But he's not even married! Or is he?"
Jiang Cheng scowled at the two, trying to act uninterested but failing. He was curious too, after all.
"No, he's not. There are various rumours about that." Nie Huaisang said. "Mostly tragic ones, about his soulmate dying in a night hunt."
"You said 'mostly tragic ones', that means there are more… 'fun' rumours too?" Wei Wuxian smirked, looking for any way to brighten his mood. Maybe he'd… sneak out for some alcohol, later.
***
Lan Wangji sat alone in the darkness of the Jingshi, a book in his hands.
He would make an unusual sight - blindfolded, but holding the book as if he was reading. And he was, he definitely was.
For many generations, the Gusu Lan sect members wore blindfolds, and during that time… they developed techniques that allowed them to see without the use of their eyes.
The most efficient one was through the use of their spiritual energy. They could use it to almost… feel the shape of everything within their minds. They could, in a way, see the letters in the books, the shapes of other's faces, the delicate details of greenery outside.
They could see a lot, but not enough. There were no colours in the world they saw through spiritual energy, there was no feeling of… reality. It was like seeing the world from someone else's eyes, like seeing it through a window that was too far away.
But… this world was all Lan Wangji had. The one rule they had was to wear the blindfold when they were in the presence of anyone that was not family, but for Lan Wangji… the only times he took it off was when he slept.
He knew that if he saw the world with all of it's bright colours… with all of it's brilliant details… the loss of it when he put the blindfold back on would be unbearable.
There was a faint creak, then another, from the wall just a bit further away from the Jingshi. At first, Lan Wangji thought it was an animal, a squirrel maybe, but when another of those faint creaks came… he was unable to ignore or any longer.
Lan Wangji did not know at that moment that he would later come to regret leaving the Jingshi. He did not know that he would end up meeting a boy so… bright and lively that he made Lan Wangji crave to see the world, to see that undoubtedly brilliant smile with his own eyes.
***
Wei Wuxian had a blast from the very first day in the Gusu Lan sect. He broke the rules left and right, and his favourite pastime was trying to convince any of the Lan disciples to take off their blindfolds.
"Just for a moment." He would say. "Just let me look into your eyes and I'll leave you alone."
Sometimes he succeeded, sometimes he did not. And so far… he still had no luck in finding his soulmate.
Lan Wangji was, of course, Wei Wuxian's favourite when it came to teasing. He was Wei Wuxian's favourite for trying to convince him to take off the blindfold too.
Wei Wuxian had, of course, no luck with that. Still, he refused to give up, especially not when… he ended up seeing Lan Wangji so often, without even trying to seek him out.
It just had to be fate tying them together, right?
But Wei Wuxian was not sure, he would never be sure unless he saw it in someone's eyes. Hopefully… in Lan Wangji's eyes.
Wei Wuxian ended up getting kicked out of the cloud recesses.
"You deserve that." Jiang Cheng scowled, as they stood at the top of the long stairs. "You shouldn't have messed with their 'precious' disciples. You should have never tried to make them take off the blindfolds."
"How many did you manage to convince?" Nie Huaisang asked, his obvious curiosity completely opposing the scolding Jiang Cheng attempted to do.
"Not sure. Maybe 20?" Wei Wuxian hummed nonchalantly, his eyes wandering around, hoping to catch a glimpse of Lan Wangji before he left.
He was, admittedly, disappointed when he could not find him. Weren't they supposed to be friends? Shouldn't Lan Wangji be there, saying goodbye? Wei Wuxian would have been fine with scolding too, if it meant that Lan Wangji was there.
***
After Wei Wuxian was kicked out from Cloud Recesses, Lan Wangji could clearly feel the longing within his heart. He wanted to hear Wei Wuxian's voice again, he wanted to spend time in the boy's company.
'Was that love? Were they soulmates?' Lan Wangji wondered, but an answer did not come to him.
There was a way to check, a relatively easy one, but… he could not do it. He would not break the rules.
He would only take his blindfold off if he was sure, if he knew with full certainty that he met his soulmate.
Wei Wuxian was interesting… he made Lan Wangji feel things, but in the end… Lan Wangji was not sure. Maybe it was just how different Wei Wuxian was, how he managed to shake up Lan Wangji's world. None of that meant that Wei Wuxian would be Lan Wangji's soulmate.
The next time Lan Wangji 'saw' Wei Wuxian was during the archery competition in Qishan.
They… did not talk much, even if Lan Wangji wanted to. He hesitated approaching the boy, and ended up walking away when Wei Wuxian was the one getting close.
If Lan Wangji thought he was confused before, then now… he was even more confused. Hurricanes raged within his heart, and all he wanted was to feel calm again.
It was quite a sudden occurrence when it happened, the flash of blinding sunlight, the colours that flooded him as the blindfold fell off from his eyes.
Lan Wangji shut his eyes close, keeping them that way even if he felt the temptation, the need to open them. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks but he endured. It was okay, everything would be all right. He did not break the rules, the blindfold was off but he did not see anyone.
"Lan Zhan… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." A hesitant voice came from behind Lan Wangji making him face Wei Wuxian.
Lan Wangji tried to stay calm, but he could not. He knew that his expression… would seem furious, and he could do nothing to change it.
It might have been an accident, but this time Wei Wuxian stepped over the line.
***
Lan Wangji could always, no matter what, endure the small voice inside his head that urged him to just… give in. To take off the blindfold, to see everything. To see Wei Wuxian.
Lan Wangji's self control was incomparable, however, so he always managed to ignore it.
Even as Cloud Recesses burned. Even as he fought against the Tortoise of Slaughter.
Even as Wei Ying laid down on his lap, fevered and unconscious.
Lan Wangji endured until he could not do it anymore.
Wei Wuxian had been missing for over 3 months and now… Wei Wuxian was right there, but he was not the same.
Lan Wangji listened to the terrified screams of Wen Chao, he remembered the horrific sights of the corpses he and Jiang Wanyin found on the way to this secluded tower… and all he could feel was worry, fear and helplessness.
What happened to Wei Ying? Lan Wangji wondered, fear for the boy's future overwhelming him.
Could Wei Wuxian still be saved? If… Lan Wangji broke the rules, took off his blindfold and confirmed what his heart had been telling him for a long time… Could Wei Wuxian be saved then?
With a tremble in his hands, Lan Wangji untied the knot and let the ribbon slide away. He took his time in retying it on his forehead before he opened his eyes to the sight of… Jiang Wanyin frozen in shock, definitely not expecting Lan Wangji to do that.
It did not matter, only Wei Ying mattered. Lan Wangji thought as he went inside, as he made the first step towards saving Wei Wuxian.
Fate worked in mysterious ways, however, as Lan Wangji could still not see Wei Wuxian's eyes. All he saw was black.
The black of a blindfold Wei Wuxian now wore.
***
Life after losing his core was hard for Wei Wuxian.
The burial mounds, resentful energy.
The day he started to wear the blindfold because he did not deserve to find his soulmate.
His soulmate did not deserve to be stuck with someone like him.
His soulmate… should live their life free of a monster Wei Wuxian became, his soulmate… whoever they were… deserved to be happy.
Wei Wuxian could no longer give that happiness to anyone. He could not give anyone anything, as now… he had nothing left.
The war with the Wens, the continuous arguments with Lan Wangji.
The end of the war and the… slander, the curses towards him that increased daily.
Wen Qing and the Wen remnants. Wen Ning and little Wen Yuan.
Wei Wuxian once dreamed of dying, of ending everything but now he could not. He had people to protect, he had a reason to live.
He was needed, and there were people that did not hate him.
Wei Wuxian did not know what he had expected, but the ending was cold. It was dark, it was lonely and it was… painful.
Even as his blindfold fell off amidst the corpses that swarmed him… he still could not see anything different than what he saw behind his closed eyes.
The flash of a red moon and corpses, corpses and more corpses.
It was death, surrounding him, enveloping him.
Maybe death was his soulmate, Wei Wuxian thought before he was ripped apart, maybe that was why it followed him with every step.
It was only his naivety, his wishful thinking that had made him dream sometimes… about a future, about a life where Lan Wangji would be his soulmate.
***
Wei Wuxian was dead, and then he was not.
Many things in his life had been fake… and it seemed that even his death became the same.
Wei Wuxian saw the world, all it's colours and beauty for the first time in what felt forever and he did not want to let it go.
Maybe it was time… this time, he could live a simple life, somewhere far away. No cultivators, no sects. Only him and the vast expanse of nature.
The first sound of guqin strings was his sign. It was time to leave, to never look back.
One way or another… fate still.hated Wei Wuxian. He was, once again, in the midst of action, forced to summon corpses with a hastily made flute, forced to protect disciples he should not care about.
But he did. No matter what, he would never be able to stop caring. He could pretend but nothing more.
Surprises never came one by one, it seemed as… the corpse he summoned ended up being Wen Ning. His friend who he thought was burned to ashes. His friend who stood before him, lifeless and so… different, from how he was supposed to be.
It was wrong, so so wrong. Wei Wuxian thought, as he played a tune to send Wen Ning away.
He would have to fix that wrong, to make Wen Ning get back his consciousness again.
He would not stop until his friend was saved from the clutches of whoever chained him.
Wei Wuxian saw Lan Wangji from the corner of his eyes, but he could not do anything about it. He could not run away yet.
It would be fine, he would not be recognised.
Even the shiver that passed him as Lan Wangji gripped his wrist was not enough to stop Wei Wuxian's playing. Only when he was sure that Wen Ning would go far away, tha his friend would be safe did he stop.
Unconsciously, his chin tilted up, his eyes met the uncovered, golden ones of Lan Wangji.
For just a moment Wei Wuxian felt despair, thinking that Lan Wangji had, in the end, found a soulmate. One that was not Wei Wuxian.
But then he saw - the one thing he had craved to see long ago. The one thing that he gave up on seeing once he lost his core.
It was the string of fate, reflected in those golden eyes. It seemed to swirl around them both, so bright and so… so beautiful.