Chapter Text
Chapter One
“If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.”
―
Three years
Three years have passed ever since Oikawa Tooru left Japan and went to Argentina. Three years since he last talked to Iwaizumi Hajime, which ended into a massive fight. Three years and Oikawa still misses him, there was a massive hole in his life while he was in Argentina - like an overstuffed closet ready to burst in any second. He was hoping and even praying that Iwaizumi will suddenly arrive in Argentina declaring his undying love for Oikawa but, shit like that only happens in movies.
Their relationship is not like in the movies. It was years and years of yearning, adjusting, understanding with the silent gestures and touches, years of being in synch together, wanting and desiring the same thing - and then suddenly, they no longer desire the same things.
Suddenly, they’re no longer in synch.
Suddenly, they’re no longer together.
Suddenly, their relationship isn’t as perfect as they hope it would be.
Tokyo Airport
January 5, 2019
After the New Years’ celebration, Oikawa Tooru decided to come back home in Japan. His three-year contract with the Argentinian League as the setter for Atletico San Juan ended and it’s time to try out for Japanese Volleyball League teams, his goal hasn’t changed and he still has the insatiable desire to win. Standing in the crowded airport in a chilly winter afternoon wearing only a thin black coat, navy blue sweater and skinny jeans might be one of the stupidest decision ever. Turning around with his brown hair still in a perfect tousle, puffing his cheeks and slightly squinting his caramel brown eyes looking for his older sister. Then suddenly -
“Tooru!”
Oikawa turned around and saw his not-so-little nephew Takeru running towards him at full speed, Oikawa opened his arms and hugged his nephew with a beaming smile. Oikawa ruffled Takeru’s hair and grinned “You’ve grown taller squirt, I thought you’ll be short as a shrimp forever.” Takeru stuck his tongue out and groaned “Stop calling me that! I’m second year in high school already, pretty cool huh?” He grinned and helped Oikawa carry his luggage, his older sister Mina smiled at the duo and wrapped her arms around Oikawa, giving him a tender hug.
“I miss you Tooru, mom is constantly texting me asking if you arrived already.”
Oikawa smiled and pat his sister’s shoulder and replied dramatically “Tell mom that her beautiful son has arrived.” Mina rolled her eyes and elbowed his rib in response, the three of them walked out the airport with contented smiles on their faces.
The trip to Miyagi was uneventful, other than Takeru’s constant chattering about his volleyball team and asking for souvenirs from Argentina. His older sister humming a Japanese pop song while driving and Oikawa staring at the window, his brown eyes are nervous yet excited. Then he asked
“Mina-nii, have you heard anything about Iwa-chan?”
The humming of his sister suddenly stopped and his nephew choked on the soda he was sipping while frantically looking around, the grip of the steering wheel tightens as his sister quickly put on a cheery fake smile and replied “Oh, I haven’t heard much you know, I’m pretty busy with work and taking care of Takeru.” Oikawa frowned with their sudden change of attitude and replied “But we literally live next door to Iwa-chan’s house, you see him every day. Surely you must know something.” Mina shakes her head and insisted “I really don’t know Tooru, I haven’t spoken to Iwaizumi-san for a long time. Life moves on, you know.” She laughed and quickly glanced at the rearview mirror, Takeru gave a slightly panicked look at his mother.
Oikawa frowned even more and ignored the dull ache in his chest, he has a strong feeling that there is something they’re hiding from him - he’s not certain what it is about but he will figure it out.
Arrive at home was chaotic in a good way, his mother showering him with kisses and his father ruffling his hair and patting his shoulders. The house was warm and lively - a stark contrast to the bleakness and dullness of the airport.
His mother pinched his cheeks and exclaimed
“Tooru! You’ve lost weight, what are you eating in Argentina?”
“Dear, he didn’t lose weight he gained muscle! Volleyball players are literally a ball of stamina.” His father grinned and squeezed Oikawa’s shoulder affectionately.
Oikawa rolled his eyes as he has ushered inside the dining room, various Japanese food on the table and the scent of home-cooked meal never fails to warm his heart and make his stomach grumble - he truly misses home.
He misses the simple life he used to have.
Dinner time with his family is filled with endless conversation and catching up, warm laughter and teasing from his father and sister. His mother doting and kind giving him more portions of food and talking animatedly about her little garden at their backyard. Takeru talking about his friends in high school and their childish antics - it reminded of Oikawa his high school experience with Iwaizumi.
Iwaizumi
Oh god, how much Oikawa misses him. Like the bones of his body fractured without the light touch of his Iwa-chan. How he misses their friendly banter, their late nights’ star gazing in the field of Miyagi, their mornings jogging around town, their afternoons playing volleyball.
Oikawa isn’t complete without Iwaizumi, like two pieces of a whole - they seemingly complete each other. That’s just how life goes, that’s how he thought everything should be. Going to university together, playing the same university team, living together, just being within arms reach without uttering a single word - Iwaizumi was his rock, the single person who will keep Oikawa steady in the chaos and waves he created.
Argentina.
A place that becomes the catalyst that frayed their relationship into bits, it wasn’t supposed to end that way, they’re supposed to be invincible . Their relationship wasn’t supposed to end at all. Things are supposed to be different, it should’ve been-
“Hello? Earth to Tooru? Unless your brain went to outer space?” His sister Mina giggled as she picked the tofu off Tooru’s plate. Oikawa rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out childishly and retorted “The aliens need to take me away before I spend another minute with you bullying me!” Warm laughter erupted in their table as the Oikawa family continued their meal.
Oikawa Tooru was somewhat happy, he tries to convince himself.
Three years without Iwaizumi by his side, things are vastly different but Oikawa feels the warm bubble inside his chest - knowing one way or another he will meet Iwa-chan again.
After dinner, he helped his mother clean out the dishes and placed the cups on the cupboard as he asked
“Mom, where’s Iwa-chan? Surely you told him that I’m back right?”
His mother stopped washing the dishes and looked at Oikawa with gentle eyes and replied “Oh, I haven’t spoken to Hajime-kun in a very long time Tooru.”
“What do you mean? They literally live next to us.” Oikawa crossed his arms and frowned
“Ah, Mina didn’t tell you? Hajime-kun and his parents no longer live in Miyagi. They transferred to Kyoto or Hokkaido, I’m not quite sure.”
Oikawa eyes widen in shock and exclaimed “What? How come no one told me anything? Iwa-chan didn’t even contact me about it.” His mother looked away trying to change the topic while she places the dishes in the drying rack and replied “I really don’t know Tooru, I think it’s best that you rest up and sleep for a while. You must’ve been exhausted from your trip.”
Oikawa wanted to ask more, there are endless questions that bubble into his mind and yet, realizing the Iwaizumi’s transfer was something that bugged him the most. After he went inside his childhood bedroom and lay down on his galaxy printed sheets, he grabbed his phone and texted a number that he hasn’t contacted in three years.
A single message that holds so much meaning for Oikawa
‘Iwa-chan, I need to talk to you.’
JUMP Publishing House
January 5, 2019
“Oy, Iwaizumi don’t overwork again today. It’s after New Year and you’re still working like the devil.” His co-worker Tendo Satori smiles as he spins around his chair with manic glee.
Iwaizumi Hajime raised his arm for a simple greeting and replied “I need to read these emails and concept designs before the meeting with our head editor. I can’t slack off since I’m going to Miyagi this weekend.”
“Boo! What a bore.” Tendo playfully throws paperclips towards Iwaizumi’s direction and laughs cheerily.
“You’re heading back to Miyagi? Aren’t you supposed to have another check-up this weekend?” His other co-worker and close friend Akaashi Keiji placed a cup of coffee on Iwaizumi’s desk, Iwaizumi murmured “Thank you Akaashi, I contacted my doctor and told him I need to postpone my check-up. I need to get stuff out of the house and send it back to Kyoto specifically my mother’s vases and photo albums.” Iwaizumi sipped his black coffee and leaned back with a sigh.
He runs his fingers through his cropped uncut spiky black hair as he adjusted his reading glasses that he only uses at the office. He still has a tan despite the cold winter in Tokyo, dressed in a plain white button-down, dark green sweater and black jeans. Akaashi’s sharp gray eyes bore towards him and he sighed
“Iwaizumi-san, are you going to be okay? Since your heading back to Miyagi?” Akaashi asked with sincerity, his sharp eyes are filled with concern. Iwaizumi looked at his friend, he knows he can’t bullshit his way through Akaashi, that man is a living microscope - he notices every single detail.
“I’m not quite sure, I’m scared to see people that I don’t remember anymore. It’s going to be difficult for me to explain my situation with the accident that happened three years ago. Right now, there are still important pieces and people in my life that I fail to remember.” Iwaizumi sighed in defeat, he is honest and open towards Akaashi - there is a strong sense of comfort and familiarity around him. Akaashi nodded and grabbed his coffee mug and said
“I’m free this weekend if you want I can accompany you to Miyagi.” Iwaizumi shakes his head and retorted “You don’t have to Akaashi, I’m going to be fine-”
Akaashi placed his hand on Iwaizumi’s wrist and smiled gently
“Hajime, I insist. I’ll be there with you.”
Iwaizumi quirked his lip giving a small smile and replied “I’m very grateful to have you as a friend Keiji.” Akaashi nodded and turned around, closing the office door. Tendo raised his eyebrow observing his co-workers and quirked his lips into a teasing grin as he continues to type on his computer.
Iwaizumi Hajime living three years of his life with memories fractured and dulled out - after the tragic accident that literally took everything away from him, his old life and his memories which causes him to suffer in temporary amnesia. His life changed drastically and yet, there are still pieces and holes in his heart that are waiting to be filled.
Living his life hallow and shelled out with little to no memories of his past.
Lunchtime rolled around with ease as Iwaizumi fits back into his hectic work schedule. The editors of JUMP Publishing scurry off to contact their mangaka and creating new concept designs for the upcoming spring season. Iwaizumi stretched his muscular arms and groaned
“Fuck, I’m exhausted.”
Tendo nodded as he adjusted his purple sweater and replied “Hell yeah, I can’t wait to have drinks with Wakatoshi-kun later.” Iwaizumi looked at him dumbfounded manner and asked "Is he your boyfriend?” Tendo barked a loud laugh and replied “What? No! He’s my former volleyball teammate, uh remember Shiratorizawa?” Iwaizumi purses his lips and shakes his head, it’s pointless trying to remember minuscule details like that when he can barely remember his friends in high school. Tendo looked at him with understanding eyes and replied “Well, it was your mission to defeat us and go to nationals but then Karasuno those fucking crows defeated Aoba Johsai during Interhigh. Then, Karasuno defeated Shiratorizawa during finals. Those fuckers.”
“Ah, I must’ve been really competitive when it comes to volleyball.”
Iwaizumi remarked as he flipped through the papers. Tendo released a wide grin and replied “Nope, you’re a pretty chill mom-type kinda guy. It was Oikawa your captain who was fucking intense when it comes to volleyball.”
Oikawa
The name ringed a bell in his memory. A name so familiar and foreign at the same time, it was as if he heard it for years and eternity. He stopped flipping through the papers and gaped towards Tendo, his ears are ringing with a dull static unsure what to feel or what do think when he heard that name. It feels like a long stretch of time when Tendo suddenly shakes his shoulder -
“Yo, earth to Iwaizumi? You spaced out there for a second man, are you okay?” Tendo’s unnerving red eyes bore towards him with a hint of concern. Iwaizumi snapped out of his thoughts and replied “Yes, I’m fine. I just heard that name before, it was so familiar.” Tendo tilted his head and asked “Uh, which name? Are you talking about Wakatoshi? His full name is Ushijima Wakatoshi, I think you might remember him since he’s a bigshot pro-volleyball player now.”
Iwaizumi nodded in a distracted manner and gruffly replied “Yeah, maybe him.”
He turned around and looked back at his computer he still has a concept that needs to be emailed to his assigned mangaka. Tendo merrily exclaimed “Hey, to get your mind off work you can join me for drinks tonight, my old volleyball teammates will be there. It will be really fun!” He was about to reply when Akaashi walked inside their office carrying stacks of un-beta storyboards that needs to be proofread and quietly replied “I don’t think Iwaizumi-san would be interested in drinks tonight since he has to travel from Tokyo to Miyagi tomorrow, Tendo-san.”
Tendo stuck his tongue out and exclaimed “Ugh, what a bore Akaashi-san! You can join us if you want to.” Akaashi frowned and politely turned down the invitation, he glanced at Iwaizumi’s direction who was staring blanking at the computer screen - Iwaizumi’s green eyes are dulled down and distracted. His eyes say everything that his lips cannot communicate. Akaashi touched Iwaizumi’s shoulder and asked in a hushed tone,
“Hajime, are you really okay? Do you need someone to talk to?”
Iwaizumi looked up and saw Akaashi’s eyes filled with genuine concern, he nodded and went back to work.
The name Oikawa is still ringing in his head like a beat of a drum that never stops. He lost his memories of someone important yet, he doesn’t know who and why the name Oikawa bothered and tugged his heart so much.
It was 7:30 pm when he turned off the lights in his office, Tendo left early to have drinks with his friends and his other co-workers rushed out of the office for dinner and karaoke.
This routine stuck the most to Iwaizumi, it was boring, it was dull but it was safe. This office he started working after he was discharged from the hospital after his accident. The people he barely knows or had any prior connections in his past (other than Tendo who was merely an acquaintance in his high school days and Akaashi who was his friend during university). Iwaizumi didn’t ask for unpredictability or spur of the moment decisions or impulsiveness, he wants stability, assurance -
Safe
The word struck him repeatedly, like an insult to an injury or rubbing salt on an open wound. That word felt like it was spat on his face with harshness and spite.
His phone lights up to notify a message from an unknown number.
‘Iwa-chan, I need to talk to you.’
Iwaizumi frowned deeply and his nose crinkle with confusion - there is only one thing in his mind:
‘Who the fuck is Iwa-chan?’