Chapter Text
"I can't believe this is how you see me," Gu Yun remarked in astonishment. He scanned Chang Geng's body, or rather, his own body, from head to toe. "For once, I'm taller than you."
Chang Geng gave a small smile. "Does Yifu like being the taller one?"
A repulsed shudder ran through Gu Yun. "Don't call me that when you're in my body, it looks weird," he protested.
"Okay, Yifu," Chang Geng replied.
Gu Yun laughed through his nose. "I've spoilt you," he joked, but his gaze quickly changed to one of concern. "How are the eyes and ears? Are you okay? I thought about having you drink the medicine but I'm afraid the headache will be too painful." His throat was starting to feel hoarse from nearly shouting the words at Chang Geng. Was this what other people went through when he couldn't hear?
... Poor Shen Yi.
Chang Geng reached out and Gu Yun immediately took his hands. With the lack of sight and hearing, Gu Yun's calluses felt rougher than usual. "As long as you are next to me, I am fine and do not need the medicine."
Gu Yun sighed and tucked a stray strand of hair behind Chang Geng's ear. "I'm sorry you have to experience this."
Chang Geng gave an assuring smile. "You do not need to be sorry. This is Zi Xi's life and I am honoured to have the chance to experience it. If this gives you a rest from having to drink the bitter medicine for a day, then I would gladly do it for as many days as you wanted."
A mess of gratitude and guilt welled up in Gu Yun. "Why don't you go lie down? I will bring some tea for you."
Chang Geng nodded and automatically started walking in what he thought was the general direction of the bedroom. He only managed two steps before crashing into a wall, banging his wrist against a corner. He immediately stopped and hissed in pain.
Gu Yun rushed over to his side. "Are you okay?" he asked anxiously, running his hands over Chang Geng's body, checking every inch for injury.
Chang Geng stopped his wandering hands (with regret). "I am fine."
Gu Yun's body sagged in relief, but his worried frown remained. "When you're like this, wait for me to help you, okay?"
"Mm," Chang Geng replied. "I was hasty and forgot. Sorry for worrying you." He let Gu Yun lead him into the bedroom with his hand against the back of his waist. He sat on the bed without knocking into anything else.
Gu Yun knelt down and carefully checked Chang Geng's wrist. "Does it hurt?"
Chang Geng pouted. "Yes."
Gu Yun raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
Chang Geng nodded. "Kiss it."
Gu Yun stared at him incredulously. "Are you five years old?"
Chang Geng's gaze did not falter even a bit. "Yes."
Gu Yun snorted in disbelief. He brought Chang Geng's wrist up to his lips and planted a quick, soft kiss on the 'wound'. He looked back up at Chang Geng. "Happy now?"
Chang Geng gave a half-smile. "More."
Gu Yun tsked, "I've really spoilt you."
"Can you blame me?" Chang Geng averted his gaze coyly. "It was Yifu who was touching my body all over just now."
Gu Yun scoffed in stupefaction. "Y-you-," he stuttered, "I was checking you for injuries!" He spared another look at Chang Geng, whose expression was suddenly filled with lust. "We are not doing it, not when you have my face."
Chang Geng's eyes widened innocently. "You don't think that would be fun?"
Gu Yun proceeded to choke on his own spit, and quickly excused himself to go to the kitchen for water. Chang Geng leaned back against the bed and shut his tired eyes, a content smirk on his lips.
As Gu Yun walked to the kitchen, shaking his head at Chang Geng's boldness, he soaked up the abundance of sights and sounds around him. The natural seeing and hearing ability seemed different from a medicine-induced one. He didn't know how to feel about it. It had been more than two decades since he could see and hear without the aftermath of an incapacitating headache.
Gu Yun almost wanted this to last forever.
To be able to see Chang Geng without medicine or monocle, it was like waking up from a nightmare. Plunged into this new dream-like world, where he could see and hear his love with no trouble, he never wanted to go back.
How selfish of him.
How could he say that. How could he say that he wanted to live like this forever, while the one he loved was in the other room, unable to see or hear. Chang Geng had said that he didn't mind the deafness and blindness, but Gu Yun knew better. Who in this world would want to lose their sight and hearing, if they had the choice? Chang Geng had said that just for the sake of reassuring him.
A hot flash of pain pierced through his heart.
Gu Yun could not believe the type of thoughts he was having. He should be wishing for them to swap bodies back as soon as possible, not reminiscing of an impossible life. What did Chang Geng do to deserve having to endure the pains of his own body for him?
The pain in Gu Yun's heart spiked, and the porcelain cup he had been holding fell to the floor as his hands flew up to grasp his chest. Was he imagining this pain, or was it real?
Gu Yun distantly heard the door to the adjacent room creak open. "Zi Xi, is everything okay? I felt something shake. Did something break?" The voice was difficult to hear, he could barely register it, like he was becoming deaf again.
The pain in his body was something he had never experienced before. It didn't feel like the pain from an injury he had gotten while fighting. Instead, the pain felt like it was attacking him and eating him up from the inside. It was like there was pain in every blood cell, being carried in currents to every part of his body.
Chang Geng, with his hands outstretched, felt his way to the body curled up on the kitchen floor. "Zi Xi! Zi Xi, are you okay? What happened?"
Gu Yun opened his mouth to answer, but all that came out was a pained growl.
Chang Geng gasped in realisation. "Zi Xi, this is a Bone of Impurity attack! You must control it!" His voice was frantic. He must have been stricken with panic. Gu Yun wished he could stop it.
But... control? How do you control something that is ravaging your entire body? When it hurts so much you can't feel anything else but the pain? How do you crawl your way out when it burned to even think?
This is what Chang Geng had to go through every time, Gu Yun thought. This is what I caused him to undergo so many times.
Why would I make him bear this?
He must hate me.
He gave so much love, yet this is what I returned.
I don't deserve him.
"ZI XI, CONTROL!"
The scream barely made it through the haze of agony. But Gu Yun couldn't control it, he didn't know how to. The pain just seemed to build and build upon itself. His hands were pressed firmly against his ears. Gu Yun wasn't aware of this, but at this point, he had been screaming without stop. No injury had ever made him scream like this.
Even with Chang Geng's current deafness, he could hear Gu Yun's scream loud and clear. It was the most tormenting thing that he had ever heard in his life.
He never wanted to hear something like that again.
Chang Geng was close to tears with worry. Whether the double pupils had already appeared, he could not even see. He had never let a bone of impurity attack get this out of control before. He thought that at this rate, Gu Yun might not be able to handle it for much longer. Soon, even years of practised control would not be able to hold it back.
Chang Geng cried out, "Zi Xi, I'm sorry for this!" He drew his arm back and forcefully swung at Gu Yun's head, and knocked him unconscious.