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"You're a fucking idiot, Jay. She had a fucking gun pointed at you yet you still tried to go to her?"
"It wasn't like that Will, I've known her for a while now and-"
"-no, you're fucking injured and not in the right headspace so shut up."
Will paced back and forth in front of Jay, hands in his hair. His face practically matched the colour of his scrubs- beet red- and he was visibly shaking. Jay, sitting in his hospital bed, rolled his eyes.
"I'm fine, Will."
"That bullet, that Angela put in you? It nicked an artery! Had Hailey not called for a rush on that ambo, Jay... Jay you could have died."
"I would have died doing what I love."
"Bullshit! That's bullshit Jay and you know it."
Jay watched his brother pace, raising an eyebrow when Will slammed his curled fist against the door hard enough to make a noise but not quite hard enough to shatter it.
"Will can't you just fucking listen for a second?"
"I can't- I can't do this right now. I'll be back later."
Will darted out the door and Jay groaned, leaning against the pillows holding his head up.
"Hey Jay."
Jay tossed the magazine he'd been looking at to the side when Hailey lightly tapped on the door frame, hesitating. He sent her a weak smile, patting the bedside.
"Come sit."
"Where's your brother?"
"Quite honestly, he could be halfway to Canada with all the pacing he's been doing."
Hailey didn't laugh as she sat on the chair beside Jay's bed. He watched with his good eye, the other too bruised to do much other than attempt to blink.
"Jay, we nearly lost you."
"I know. I was the one with the bullet, remember?"
Hailey's brows furrowed and she clenched her teeth. She took one of Jay's hands, giving it a squeeze.
"Atwater doesn't think he's ever seen Will like this. You gave everyone a real scare."
"I know, okay?! I know I nearly fucking died, I know I'm lucky to be alive, I know I should be fucking grateful!"
Jay's little outburst did nothing but make Hailey realise just how traumatised he was.
"Jay..."
"I'm fine, Hailey. How's Angela?"
Hailey bristled, biting her lip.
"She uh- she's in a lot better shape than you. Will thinks she'll be able to go home tonight."
"There's something you're not telling me."
Jay tried to meet her eyes with his one working one but she shifted, turning away.
"Angela got paid a visit earlier. By Voight."
"And?"
"Well, she told him she wanted the world to know what you'd done... To Marcus."
"I'll never forgive myself," Jay murmured. Hailey shook her head, giving his hand a squeeze.
"Listen to me. What you need to do right now is focus on getting better, being with Will. Recovering. What you went through, Jay, I know it's going to take a lot to get over this but I want you to know; I've got your back. Everyone in the waiting room has your back. Will has your back, goddammit, and he's currently out on the balcony yelling to no one."
Jay turned away, head dipping. When Hailey tried to give his hand another squeeze Jay pulled it away, holding it against his sling. She sighed, standing.
"Okay, Jay. Okay."
Then she was gone, just like that. As Jay watched her leave, he refused to let a tear fall. This wasn't that bad.
"Just got those labs and CT back. Jay you've got a pretty bad concussion on top of a few broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and of course the gsw in your shoulder. You've got a long road to recovery ahead of you."
"When can I go back to work?"
"Ah. About that."
Dr Marcel grabbed the stool from nearby and sat on it, pointing at the X-ray he'd just put up.
"So you see this bit along your ribs here?"
"The bit that's torn? Yeah."
"That's a tear in the lining between your ribs. Because of this, you'll have to undergo some physical therapy, and of course a long term treatment for that shoulder."
"How. Long."
Dr Marcel winced, wheeling himself over to Jay.
"It could be a month, it could be 6. It all depends on you and how you react to treatment."
"It'll be a week. A week, tops."
"Jay, I'm sorry, that's just not possible."
"I need to go, Doc. My unit needs me."
"You're important but we can roll without you."
Hank stood in the doorway, leaning against the door frame. He had a bemused look on his face and Jay's eye fell. He'd been hoping to talk Dr Marcel into a short term leave, but with Voight there he had no hope.
"As your doctor I have to agree. A job as high risk as Intelligence is something you need to be 100% for."
Dr Marcel stood and met Voight at the doorway, nudging his head toward the sulking Halstead in the hospital bed.
"Talk some sense into him, nothing I say gets through to him."
"Join the club."
Marcel left, leaving Voight and Jay together. Jay wanted to cross his arms but his sling wouldn't let him so instead he turned his head away from his boss.
"If you're gonna try and talk me out of comin' back I'm not interested."
"You're not coming back, Jay."
"What?"
Jay frowned and Voight shook his head.
"I can't trust you. You're reckless and dangerous. If I let you out on the field, I'd be allowing everyone else on the team to put themselves in danger. I have to think of the unit when I make decisions. I've already spoken to Platt; she's going to set up a disability pension for you when you're ready to go home."
"Hank, I- I don't understand..."
"You're a danger to society, Jay. You've done your duty; served your country and your city, and now it's time to let go."
"I'm- I'm not even 35, Hank, the disability pension-"
"I'm sorry Jay. It's time. Hailey collected your gun and badge earlier; I'll have her drop off the things in your locker later."
Jay's heart stopped and he grabbed at his blankets frantically, trying to get up.
"Voight wait- Hank- I can't- please, no!"
Jay woke in a cold sweat, tears falling down his face. On one side of him Hailey was holding his hand, the other Will was-
Will was injecting something into his IV port.
"Will? Will what are you- what are you doing..."
Jay's eyes began to droop and he felt sleep approaching him. He reached out toward Hailey, surprised when she held his hand.
"Breathe, Jay, slow breaths..."
Before he could respond, or ask her what was going on, he was asleep.
The next time he came to Kim was asleep beside his bed on the couch, Adam pacing the floor quietly. When he realised Jay was awake he darted over to Kim, gently waking her before he sat on the end of Jay's bed.
"Jay, man, how you feelin'?"
"Like shit. Is Voight here? I need to talk to him."
"He just left, Jay. Will convinced him to go home. Him and Hailey refused to leave until we promised to hang around," Kim explained, sitting up to face her friend.
"Where's Will- ah!"
Jay's hand grabbed at his head and Adam frowned, glancing around to see if a nurse was nearby.
"Your head hurt?" He asked. Jay hissed, nodding before he winced at that movement. Adam spotted someone and waved them over.
"Hey man, good to see you're awake. How's everything?"
"My head fuckin' hurts! Ah, God, oh my god-"
Will was at the drugs in a split second when he saw Jay's pain. Kim and Adam scooted to give him room but Adam's hand never left Jay's good arm. Kim watched on with wide eyes as Will adjusted the pain meds, waiting until Jay settled. When he was quiet Will reached into his pocket for his penlight and Jay let him check him over. Satisfied the older Halstead put it away, sitting on the end of Jay's bed.
"I was worried it was a brain bleed but you're responsive and you're glaring at me so I think it's okay."
"Peachy. Look Will, do I have to be here? I want to go home, to my bed, with my pillows and my blanket and my damn TV."
"Well now you just sound like dad," Will quipped. Jay tried to deepen his frown but it earned him an ache in his eyebrow that was being held together by butterfly strips. He huffed and Will rolled his eyes.
"Look. I'm your brother and it's my job to do this, but it's Marcel's decision when to discharge you. It's no use trying to butter me up, I'm not the bread you're looking for here."
Adam and Kim grimaced, Jay squeezing his eyes shut. Will rolled his eyes.
"I swear all you cops are 12, collectively."
"You just told me not to butter your bread!" Jay defended. That did it for the other two cops in the room who burst out laughing, making a beeline for the door. This left the two Halstead brothers; one with a bruised eye and one with a bruised ego. I'll let you figure out who's who.
"For real though, Will. I want to go home. I'll recover better there."
"It's not gonna happen Jay."
Will's tone was hard and Jay fell silent, staring at his lap.
"Fine."
"Okay I got your sweats, boxers, a shirt... I feel like I forgot something."
Hailey frowned as she dumped the bag on Jay's bed and began rifling through it, pulling a phone charger out for him as well as his laptop and a pair of headphones.
"What about my phone?"
Hailey facepalmed, shoving the phone charger back into the duffel bag.
"I thought Will told you; it shattered when you were kidnapped. We're trying to get the data off it but it's proving to be more difficult than we expected. Will called your provider; they've agreed to replace it for free with an upgrade to the model. The whole 'I'm a cop' thing is brilliant on those people. They also put a shatterproof case on it. Here."
Hailey reached into her back pocket and produced the phone, lying it flat on the table. Jay looked at her blankly for a moment, before pushing it away.
"Thanks."
Hailey raised an eyebrow before she huffed and collapsed into the chair at his bedside.
"Something's bothering you. Talk."
"It's fine, I just... I have this irrational fear of hospitals."
His partner hummed, reaching for his hand as she waited for him to expand.
"I dunno if it's from when my mum died, or the war in Afghanistan... Or even the last time I got shot, y'know after dad."
She nodded, and Jay's eyes suddenly began to glisten.
"I really, really hate hospitals, Hailey. I hate them and I need to get out of here as soon as I can."
"What did Will say? Dr Marcel?"
"They both don't want me to leave. Will's just... He cares, I get it-"
"If they're both saying it, you should probably listen to them. Jay, you were shot. Any closer to that artery and you wouldn't be here right now."
"I need to go, Hailey, please!"
Hailey watched with wide eyes as Jay burst into sobs. For the first time in front of her, he was vulnerable and he needed support. She lifted herself on to the bed and pulled him around to embrace him properly. Jay's sobbing increased as he buried his head into the crook of her neck, his good hand grasping on to her back through her shirt.
"I'm so scared," he blurted and she just nodded, hugging his head as she fingered through his now messy hair.
"I know Jay, I know. Let it out."
His good shoulder shook with the intensity of his emotions and all Hailey could do was hold him.
In that moment, she felt powerless.
In the dead of night, one nurse and a uniformed cop by his door, Jay knew this was his best bet. Slipping from bed he located the shoes Hailey had left him and managed to slip them on with minimal pain or noise. Unplugging himself from the monitors he'd been hooked up to they began to beep and the nurse on the ward looked up, eyebrows raising.
"Mr Halstead?"
When Jay hid behind the curtain she stood from her chair, pointing at the uniformed officer in front of the door.
"Is he still in bed? Dr Halstead said he might try to escape."
Fuck. Will knew him too well.
"No, miss. Detective Halstead?"
When neither the nurse nor the cop heard a reply they opened Jay's door and rushed in, finding empty sheets.
"Call your Sergeant," the nurse yelled at the officer who immediately dialled for Voight. The nurse also had her phone to her ear, but for a different person.
"Dr Halstead, we may have a problem."
Fresh air made Jay's lungs hurt, but at the same time it energised him to keep going. He didn't have a set destination, but his apartment sounded pretty good. As he walked in the brisk air he wished he had remembered to take someone's winter jacket on the way out. The snow crunched under his sneakers and Jay shivered, ducking his head to avoid a cop car that drove by. He crossed the road and tensed, surveying his surroundings.
No one was on the Chicago streets this time of night. No one was stupid enough.
No one except for Jay, apparently.
A couple cars passed by and Jay's teeth began to chatter at the cold wind that rushed by him. The phone in his pocket vibrated, spooking him and he slipped, landing on his bad shoulder. He yelled in pain, grasping his shoulder through the sling. A car pulled up and he heard doors slamming, followed by frantic voices.
"Is he alive?"
"Yeah, just-"
"- I shouldn't have left him, fuck I'm so stupid. I'm really sorry Will, I swear if I had've known..."
"It's okay Adam, don't stress; this was why I told the nurse to call me. Hank, Hailey, help me."
The ringing in Jay's ears increased when hands gently cradled his head and he cried out, flailing his limbs about except for the dodgy shot shoulder.
"Jay! Jay it's okay, breathe."
Will. Will was talking to him. Those hands holding his head were Will's. The hand checking his wound were Voight's- rough and gun calloused. The hand holding his was Hailey's. Her hands were small but roughened from their occupation and Jay groaned, leaning into Will.
"I can't see anything serious, just a couple scrapes... Maybe a couple bruises and his shoulder should be checked in case he dislocated it again."
"Hurts," Jay grit out.
"Don't take me back."
"But Jay-"
"-call Marcel. Maybe we can figure something out at home."
Hailey was talking, and when Jay moved his head just enough to see her she just smiled at him.
"You're a fucking idiot, Halstead. Good thing you've got people around you who love and support you."
"Why... Why is Ruzek here again?" Jay croaked out, earning a laugh from Hailey and Will.
"Okay smartass, we're gonna get you into my car now. On the count of three."
Voight took hold of the situation and Adam stepped in to help, carefully supporting Jay's back as the other three lifted and carried him into the backseat of Voight's car. Jay felt someone climb in beside him and just by the shock of red hair he got when he briefly opened his good eye he knew it was Will.
"Will..."
"I know Jay, I know."
"So you punked one of my officers huh?"
Jay looked up from his new phone, eyebrows raising.
"Sergeant Platt?"
"Mmhmm. Voight and I decided if you were going to go on anymore... Nocturnal adventures... It would be with me, and it would be a trip to the bathroom or a trip to the cafeteria. Nothing more."
Jay groaned, throwing his head back.
"Seriously? They Platt-d me?"
"Damn straight they did, Jay Halstead. What the hell were you thinking last night? It's freezing, you're lucky not to have pneumonia!"
Platt, mama bear to the uniforms, was also the mother Jay needed sometimes. When she tucked him in and checked if he needed water he raised an eyebrow.
"Platt. I'm okay."
"Okay, good. I'm going to sit right here."
She took a seat on the rollaway bed that had been installed for Will last night, opening her bag to grab a magazine.
"And you're going to sleep, read, watch TV... Whatever you Halsteads do."
Jay sighed. Platt had him there; there was no way he could escape if she was there.
"Oh, and I talked to Hailey. She mentioned you get a little stressed out in hospitals."
Trudy turned to Jay, reaching over to give his wrist a squeeze.
"And I don't blame you at all. There's a balcony nearby that your brother says I can wheel you to if you start to get claustrophobic."
Jay stuttered.
Okay then. Platt: 1, Jay: nil.
Sipping on juice from a juice box like a kid and working on some paperwork in the purple pen the nurse had given him, Jay looked a lot younger than he actually was. Watching from the nurse's station Will could see he was still tense, but the breaks outside had helped. He hadn't tried to escape and there hadn't been as many meltdowns- not counting the one about the pain meds.
"Dr Halstead, I was paged?"
Will turned to see his colleague Dr Marcel standing beside him, Jay's chart in hand.
"Yeah, hey man. Thanks for coming. I was wondering if I could talk to you about Jay?"
"Sure."
Dr Marcel crossed his hands over the chart, poking his head in to see Jay was asleep, hooked up to the monitors. Sergeant Platt and Hailey were both there, sitting together and talking quietly on the spare bed.
"Jay hates hospitals. Hates them, so much that he has to be sedated otherwise he's probably going to make another escape attempt. He could seriously hurt himself doing that."
"Agreed. What can I do?"
"Jay needs to go home."
Marcel opened his mouth to protest, to debate, but Will held up his hand.
"I won't leave his side, and by the looks of it Hailey and Voight are willing to help too. He has panic attacks in here; the last one had him sobbing for at least half an hour. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't serious, Marcel, but… I can't ask him to stay here. Not this time. He wants his own bed, his own sheets, his own TV channels."
Marcel was quiet for a minute, observing Jay and checking over his notes. He glanced at the monitors, sighing.
"Okay. He's been cleared of the worst of his concussion, and his shoulder needs hospital-strength painkillers as well as maybe a heat pad to help with the ache since it is cold outside. He'll have to come back so we can assess when he can get back to work."
Will glanced at his brother, a fond smile on his face.
"If I know Jay at all, he'll be gunning for the end of the week. You let me know when I can release him; I may need a set of soft restraints."
Marcel laughed, giving Will a pat on the back.
"If you're going to stay with him I don't see a problem with it. Any change, though, you bring him back in. He'll need to sign an AMA-"
Will held up the form and Marcel plucked it from him, rolling his eyes.
"Jay and you are very, very alike. Does the stubbornness get passed generation to generation?"
"Unfortunately yeah. It makes family dinners interesting," Will deadpanned. Marcel signed the AMA form, handing it back to Will.
"Release the hound."
Will opened the apartment door and Hailey looped an arm around Jay's side to help him inside. He protested but Voight appeared beside him too, carrying Jay's bag. Will smiled at the image of hardened cop Voight wanting to care for Jay; he also knew it would never happen again. Jay was too proud for that. Speaking of Jay, he let Hailey help him as far as to the couch before he collapsed on to the comfortable furniture, letting out a sigh.
"Oh I forgot what that felt like."
"Gimme your arm."
Before Jay could protest Will had pulled his sleeve up to expose Jay's good shoulder and stuck a needle in there, injecting fluid through his body. Jay cried out, eyes squeezing shut.
"Hey! What was that for?" Hailey demanded. Will raised an eyebrow at her.
"He's still in pretty bad shape; I have to give him morphine every couple hours."
Pulling the needle out and safely disposing of it Will patted Jay's cheek, joining him on the couch.
"What'll it be, little brother? I was thinking the hockey-"
"-Will?"
"Mm?"
Jay huffed, snatching the TV remote from Will's hand.
"My house my TV."
"That's fair," Hailey shrugged, Hank snorting from where he was working on something in the kitchen. He appeared with a glass of water for Jay, sitting on the edge of the couch.
"Get some rest, man. You need it."
"I feel like I slept for a year in hospital," Jay murmured. Despite his weak attempt at a protest his eyes were full of sleep and he drifted off shortly after against the cushions. Will grinned, turning to Hailey.
"Morphine is one hell of a drug," he said and she rolled her eyes.
"I'm not sure what I think about that comment as a cop, Halstead."
With Jay asleep Will took control of the TV and the members of Intelligence present settled themselves on the armchairs in the corner of the living room. Hank noticed the place had changed a little since Erin had left; Jay had gotten a new bed frame, changed some of the photos on the wall; he'd framed articles about Intelligence, and Will saving people's lives no matter the cost. He had art on the walls that had probably been gifted by thankful families, a drawing that he'd been given by a child reunited with her father. The more Hank looked around the less he saw it as Jay and Erin's apartment. It was Jay's apartment now, he'd made it his own. Even as he napped on the couch, Hank saw Will reach into the coffee table drawer and produce a pack of half eaten Oreos; Jay's guilty pleasure. Him and Hailey broke into them and began chatting quietly. The Halstead brothers were a force to be reckoned with now that they'd become closer, and Jay knew Will was his safe place. Vice versa too. While Jay got some much needed rest he knew Will was keeping an eye out.
Flicking the light off in the lounge room Will ensured Hank and Hailey were sound asleep; both needed sleep almost as much as Jay did. Jay was also sleeping, but in his bed, with his sheets and his comforter covering him. Will on the other hand had decided to take the blow up mattress that Jay kept in the spare room, tossing it on his floor in the office. It was close to his brother, but far enough away to give him space. From there he could hear Jay get up and help him if he needed something. It also wasn't far to get him his morphine. Knocked out from the concoction Dr Marcel had put him on, Jay wasn't in a lot of pain so far and Will wanted to keep it that way for as long as he could. As he settled on the mattress in the chilly night air he lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. If he closed his eyes he could see Jay being wheeled into the ED, he could hear Hailey screaming at Jay to stay with her, he could smell the iron of his baby brother's blood. If he slept he could replay the last couple of days all over again. Shifting he rolled on to his side, burying his head into the pillow. Dammit Jay, why couldn't you have picked something safer?
A text startled Will and he lifted his phone to see a text from Jay.
Wasn't he asleep?
Jay: come here please
Will: on my way
Stretching, Will pulled the blanket over his shoulders and got up, shoving his feet into socks that he found on the ground- his own, Jay was too much of a neat freak to leave socks on the ground. Making his way down the hallway to Jay's closed bedroom door he couldn't hear anything and knocked.
"Jay? It's me man."
"It's open."
Will entered the bedroom, taking in his brother. Dammit, Jay looked tired. And sore. And he probably wouldn't sleep for a few months.
"I had a feeling you'd be up. You stress enough for the entire hospital and all of Intelligence, y'know?"
Jay was teasing him. The twinkle in his eye said so.
"Someone's gotta do it."
"... Sure. Come sit."
Will sat on the edge of Jay's bed, near his brother's feet.
"A lot has happened in the last few days; between Atwater's brother coming back, to you and Nat workin' things out, and-"
"-you bein' shot? That was pretty big," Will deadpanned. Jay laughed, shaking his head.
"That too. I guess I just needed someone to talk to."
"Ah, well it's a good thing you've got Dr Will Halstead here. I'm good with kids and I hate puke so if you happen to puke on me I'm out."
The younger Halstead winced when he laughed again, holding his ribs.
"No, no. I need Will here, my brother. The half-wit who sang his way through med school, got engaged, broke up, got engaged and broke up again… I need my brother who will tell me when I'm being a fucking idiot because he cares."
"That can be arranged."
He stood, climbed over Jay's body, and landed on the other side of the bed. Turning on the TV, he found the PlayStation 4 controllers and turned on the console, handing Jay one of the controllers.
"C'mon, let's vs in something. Rocket league?"
"Yeah, okay."
Despite only having one hand usable, Jay beat Will 3-1 and then defeated the computer easily. The brothers managed to keep it quiet between them, and when Jay started yawning Will looked over at him and took the controller from him, turning off the console.
"C'mon, I'll stay until you fall asleep.”
“Morning, Hank.”
“Morning Will.”
The two men worked together to get coffee and breakfast together in silence; neither spoke a word while they fried off bacon and cooked oatmeal. It was when the coffee maker beeped that Hank finally grabbed Will by the arm.
“I want you to know I’ll never let Jay be in a situation like the one he was in with Angela again.”
“Ah, sarge, look-”
“- if I had known what was going on I would have put a stop to it right off the bat.”
Will sighed, handing the Sargeant a cup of coffee.
“Look. It happened. I don’t think there’s anything we could have done to stop Jay. He has this weird tunnel vision whenever he feels guilty, it’s something I’ll definitely be working through with my therapist for the next six months.”
“You and me both,” Hank agreed. He clasped Will’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Jay might be your little brother, but he’s-”
“-Hank, I know. Jay has always seen you as his father figure and a safe place to go when things get bad. This was something I feel had been building for a while from external pressures; the Angela thing was just the icing on the cake. No need to apologise to me, or to Jay. If anything, that knucklehead should be begging for his job back.”
“Are you kidding me? Kid’ll always have his job in Intelligence if I have anything to do with it.”
Will grinned. Together, they made their way over to the dining table with breakfast for Hailey and Jay. The two looked up from their hushed conversation with grins and dug in, Jay sighing in relief at the coffee delivered to him.
“Oh man, what I would have done for a real cup of coffee in the hospital.”
There were chuckles from everyone on the table and Will leaned over to ruffle Jay’s hair.
“You look a little more perky this morning.”
“Oh, I feel a little more perky. Like I didn’t get shot three days ago.”
That earned him a careful smack upside his head.