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"Jay, man, let's go! Hurry up!"
Jay glanced up to see his partner leaning against the door to his room, an unimpressed look on her face. Hailey was probably one of the closest friends he had, mostly because she wasn't afraid to fight back when he was being a dick.
"I'm coming, hold up," he replied, finishing up on lacing his sneakers. Opting for a more casual look meant hopefully Voight wouldn't call him Halstead and he wouldn't call him Boss. It wasn't even slightly one sided.
Following Hailey out his apartment door Jay locked it, pocketing his keys. Hailey dashed into the elevator, waiting for him.
It was obvious Hailey was excited; this was her first Voight Christmas dinner. The other she'd missed due to prior commitments but this time the second Voight mentioned a date she cleared her schedule.
Voight's Christmas Party was the event of Intelligence's social year. Not just about having a drink, they all had a home cooked meal and did a little team bonding as cheesy as it sounds. There was always laughter but it was often accompanied by tears when they remembered who they had lost.
This year in particular would be hard; it was the first without Voight's right hand man.
Just at the thought Jay felt his stomach flip. Olinsky, cranky as he could be, also had a strong paternal side and Jay had to admit he'd sought that side out more than once. Olinsky being absent was going to be weird.
"So... First one without Al, hey?"
Jay hummed, one hand on the steering wheel with the other leaning against the window to bracket his head. The drive to Voight's wasn't far but traffic was especially busy for some reason; for a moment Jay considered putting the lights on and going straight through the middle. He hated traffic.
"You going to be okay? No one's really talked about it."
Jay made a similar noise and Hailey sighed.
"Okay then. I'll shut up."
The rest of the drive was silent except for the quiet hum of the radio. When they peeled into Voight's driveway Burgess and Ruzek weren't far behind them. Atwater and Dawson were already there; probably helping set up. Jay turned off the engine and reached to undo his seatbelt but Hailey caught his arm, making him meet her eyes.
"Hey. Let's just have fun tonight, okay? Something's bothering you but you're clearly not ready to talk about it."
Jay sent her a gentle smile, his stomach still nervously flipping. If he could have left he would have, but by the look on Kim's face he realised the others were feeling a similar way. Running a hand through his hair Jay climbed out of his Ute, locking up before going over to greet everyone. Hugging Burgess and fist bumping Adam. The cheesy Christmas decorations out the front of Voight's made Jay smile and his stomach stopped for a moment to let him appreciate the lights. How considerate of it.
"Let's go inside, I'm freezing my fucking ass off," Adam complained, earning a groan from everyone else- only Adam could say that on their boss' front lawn and get away with it.
Taking Jay by the arm Hailey stepped forward, going up the stairs and knocking at the front door. Shortly after it opened and the group were greeted by Voight himself. In casual clothes he was a different guy, grinning and inviting everyone inside. For a split second Jay wanted to ask if Erin was coming, but thought better of himself. Erin wasn't going to come.
"Jay, thanks for comin' man."
Jay snapped out of his trance when Voight approached him. Managing a smile Jay hugged him, resting against Voight.
"Thanks for havin' me boss, appreciate it."
"It's Hank here, Jay. My place is your place too."
When he pulled away from the hug his brow furrowed, cupping Jay's cheek in a way a good father would have.
"You sick?" He asked, and Jay shook his head.
"Hailey had the heat blasting in the car, it's still there."
Voight didn't seem convinced but didn't question it, instead gesturing for Jay to go inside.
"C'mon in."
In true Voight fashion everything was decorated to the max as though his grandson was still living there. A tree in the living room made the space feel more lived in than it already did and the dining room was completely decked out in festive gear. Even the music was festive. Kevin appeared, beer in hand and he hugged everyone while Antonio did his usual bro-hug-handshake thing. As per usual he did the exploding fist bump with Kim who finally did it back to him, earning a laugh from the crew.
"Everyone go and get settled in, dinner will be ready in ten."
The entire squad headed for the alcohol fridge, talking and laughing while they filled up their cups or popped their beer caps. This time it was Antonio who approached Jay.
"You're acting weird. Is there something I should know?"
Having known Antonio for the longest amount of time out of everyone in the group, Jay knew it was safe to be vulnerable around him; Antonio wouldn't use it against him later.
"It's just... First one without Olinsky y'know? It doesn't feel right to be celebrating without him at Voight's side."
"Hank said something similar to me yesterday; I volunteered to help him get ready because usually Al would have helped. Now that he's gone... We gotta do our best to help Hank however we can without stepping on his toes. He'll have our necks."
Giving Jay a pat on the shoulder Antonio clinked his beer with his fellow detective and ambled over toward Kevin and Adam squabbling playfully at one end of the table. Down the other end Hailey and Kim were rehashing all the pranks they'd managed to pull off in the short time Hailey had been with the unit and they occasionally looked his way then burst into giggles.
Standing in the middle of the dining room Jay realised he was alone. Clearing his throat he put his beer down next to a plate; drinking didn't seem like a good idea right now. Hailey looked up again and called him over, waving.
"Jay, Kim's got the best story to tell you!"
Jay hesitated, before he joined the two women. Kim immediately burst into a story about an incident involving Ruzek, a pair of lace underwear, and a squirrel. Despite the hilarious story Jay found it was hard to smile or laugh and his stomach flipped uneasily, gurgling and growling. Food wasn't so tempting anymore and he was about to go to the bathroom to text Will for help when Voight and Atwater appeared carrying platters of food- from roasted meat, to delicately cooked vegetables, to the fruit salad at the end. It smelled wonderful and homely and Jay's eyes welled with tears. Alvin should have been home by now.
"C'mon."
Kim was beside Jay, one hand on his shoulder and he nodded, going to join the rest of the crew who were serving up.
Amidst the "can you pass the gravy?" And the "hey, hands off that chicken I called dibs!" (Adam), the chatter turned to how they were surprised Trudy and Mouch weren't here; close friends with Hank, Platt usually didn't hesitate to come to the night's gathering. Hank sat back and listened to their predictions; Kim thought Platt forgot (unlikely), Adam was convinced she'd taken a wrong turn and ended up in the backseat (everyone grimaced), then Kevin spoke up.
"She's probably down at Al's grave."
Everyone fell silent. Hailey stared at her plate and the flipping in Jay's stomach intensified. He grimaced, subtly slipping a hand down to rub it in gentle circles like Will had suggested years ago. Hank lifted his beer into the air, standing.
"To Al."
"To Al."
Everyone followed suit, before sitting back down.
Dinner slowly eased back into it's conversational tone and Jay managed another couple carrot sticks before he pushed his plate away. Forever the detective Antonio leaned closer and whispered in his ear.
"You sure you're good man?"
"I'm fine. Saving up for dessert," Jay replied through gritted teeth. Antonio frowned but didn't push it, turning back to the unit.
"Are we ready for dessert, guys?"
Everyone gave their approval and Hank stood, holding out a hand at Atwater.
"You stay here. Jay?"
Jay shakily stood. When he realised his hands were trembling he shoved them into his hoodie pockets. Everyone fell back into easy jovial conversation and Jay followed Hank into the kitchen.
"Is Will okay?"
Jay frowned at Hank's question, digging in the fridge for the cream.
"Will's fine. Why?"
"You haven't been yourself this evening. Something is going on and if you want help I need you to tell me what's going on."
"Hank, I'm- I'm fine. It's been a long year y'know, with everything that happened. Losing Al, the whole thing with Erin... I guess it's just catching up with me. I'm good."
Voight's eyes softened and he held Jay's shoulder, making direct eye contact.
"Losing Al was rough, and Erin's departure was unexpected but she had to get out of there. It wasn't healthy for her."
"It was gonna kill her," Jay admitted. Hank nodded, before pulling Jay into a hug that Jay hadn't realised he'd needed until now. Jay's head rested on his shoulder and Hank squeezed the back of his neck.
"It's been a hard couple of years, Jay, but we made it through. We still got plenty of lives to save and our own lives to progress."
Jay sniffed and when Hank let him go he swiped at his nose, turning to dig in the fridge.
"Did you want the chocolate cake cold or reheated?"
"Jay, that isn't just any old chocolate cake; it's a chocolate self saucing pudding."
Despite the way his stomach flipped and nausea flicked inside him, Jay couldn't help but grin.
"Sounds great."
"Hank?"
Hank turned from the dishes in front of him to see Hailey and Kevin in the doorway, sleeves rolled up.
"We got these; go sit down."
When he went to protest Kevin gently pushed him out of the way, taking over washing while Hailey picked up a tea towel.
"Go, boss, be with the unit. Adam was just about to launch into a story about the academy and we all know they're a laugh."
"Thanks, you two."
Hank headed for the dining room and took Hailey's seat next to Jay. Speaking of Halstead, his entire body was shivering and he had gone a funny shade of white. Adam was using his hands to explain the story and the other two were laughing. Keeping his eye on Jay Hank tuned in just in time to hear the punch line.
"So I turned to him, and I was like sir! If I did this you would know because there would be cow shit everywhere!"
Whatever the story was it was obviously funny- even Antonio was chuckling while Jay was staring at the table.
"You know, I had something similar happen this one time me and Jules were on duty..."
Antonio launched into a story of his own and Voight saw Jay shudder in the corner of his eye. He had his eyes closed and his teeth clenched- a look Voight was a little more familiar with than he was willing to admit. Justin had pulled that face right before he-
Ah. That.
Shoving his chair back from the table Jay didn't even have time to get up before he doubled over again. It only took one heave and the delicious dinner that had been served was on Hank's newly carpeted dining room floor. Adam squeaked and shot out of his seat, making an excuse of going into the kitchen for a moment. Kim, forever Adam's friend even when they weren't together, followed after him. Antonio grabbed Jay by the shoulder, holding him steady.
"Breathe man, take it easy."
Hank grabbed the fruit bowl off the side table and emptied it, handing it to Dawson who quickly slid it under Jay's chin. Another gag pitched him forward again and Antonio barely had time to move before Jay projectile vomited on to himself.
"Hailey, call Will Halstead!" Hank called into the kitchen. Hearing a confirmation from Hailey he let himself focus on his detective, keeping a hand on his shoulder.
"You need to calm down, Jay, slow and easy."
The hardened Sargeant felt himself slipping into a more paternal mode as he nodded at Antonio. The detective nodded, getting up from his seat to grab napkins and paper towels ready for cleanup. The bowl in Jay's hands was slipping and Hank grabbed it to prevent more of a cleanup job. He would probably have to get the carpet deep cleaned but it wasn't a big priority. Jay's shoulders shook and between gags a sob escaped. Deciding Jay was just winding himself up Hank put the bowl on the table and pulled Jay into a hug, letting him bury his face against his jacket.
"M'so sorry, boss, I'm just-"
"Jay. Shut up."
Hank could feel Jay was starting to calm down and he lifted the detective's body up enough so he wasn't curled over. Hearing footsteps, Hank turned his head.
"I want Hailey and Kevin, everyone else disperse. TV has Netflix upstairs."
That made everyone skedaddle; Antonio was already starting cleanup while Adam and Kim headed to the living room upstairs. Knowing they would probably squabble about what to watch Hank knew he'd made a good choice.
"Boss?"
"Will on his way?"
Hailey shook her head, leaning against the doorway.
"Can't; he was needed in surgery. Dr Rhodes said he'd let him know when he got out."
"Might be the best we're gonna get, surgery could take a while. Hailey I need you to talk some sense into Jay and Kevin you're gonna be needed to help him into the bathroom."
"Gotcha boss."
As though it was a case the two moved quickly; Hailey had a hand in Jay's hair quietly talking to him while Kevin helped him to stand. Antonio poked his head up from the mess, a scowl on his face.
"That cake was good until I saw bits of it on the floor."
"Dude. Gross," Hailey scolded. Jay looked at her and she frowned.
"Okay, bathroom. Let's go Jay. Now; before you add to Tony's cleanup."
Jay groaned and Kevin held him under the arms.
"One foot in front of the other man, just a couple steps."
With Jay curled around the toilet and Hailey rubbing his back, Hank softly closed the bathroom door and whistled like he usually did to get the unit's attention. Adam and Kim appeared from downstairs, Kevin not far behind. Antonio stood from his cleanup and Hank nodded at him.
"Thanks for that."
"One too many from the kids, I'm practically immune," Antonio joked. The rest smiled and Hank turned to them.
"We're still going to have a nice night; granted, Jay's will be spent in the bathroom but we're going to open the secret santa and do what we usually do tonight. Sound good?"
Everyone nodded and Hank smiled.
"Let's get to it."
"A fucking sex toy? Who got me that?"
Everyone burst out laughing and Adam glanced around the group before settling on Kevin.
"Was it you? Dude we were going clean this year!"
"Wasn't me man, I didn't have you."
"Who would have..."
Everyone shuddered at the sound of Jay retching downstairs and Hailey got up.
"I'm just gonna check on him. Don't want our best detective choking."
As she departed downstairs she could hear laughter and Adam yelling.
"It was you?! Who put you up to that?"
Knocking gently on the bathroom door Hailey waited until she couldn't hear gagging anymore, she cracked open the bathroom door.
"Jay? How you feeling?"
"Shit. I moved to rinse my mouth and nearly puked all over myself. Again."
Wearing his sweats and t-shirt, Jay looked exhausted. The little spit hanging off his chin made Hailey grimace, gesturing on her own chin.
"Dude, you got a little somethin'..."
"What- oh. Right."
Jay wiped the spit and Hailey sat on the edge of the bathtub.
"Did you eat something funky?"
"Don't know... God I regret whatever I did though."
"Not sure it was entirely your fault, Jay. C'mon; maybe you should lie down for a bit."
"I can't. Everytime I move I can feel it creeping up my throat and it's just-"
"Dude. Tmi. Thanks for telling me, I didn't need to know, but I know you're humiliated so I'm going to let it slide."
Jay's already flushed cheeks darkened and he groaned.
"I can't believe I hurled on myself. And Voight's carlet- tell him I'll pay for it to be replaced, okay? I want to pay for it."
"Don't think about that right now, you just focus on keeping whatever you ate yesterday in your stomach. I called Will but Dr Rhodes said he was doing something up in Plastic Surgery."
"You called Will?"
"Jay I know you. You go home you won't do anything until you're in the hospital from dehydration. I called Will because he's a doctor, but also because he's your brother. You do need him sometimes despite popular belief."
Jay huffed, rolling his eyes as he turned away from Hailey. She sighed, reaching down to rub his back.
"You join us upstairs when you're ready. I'll let you know when Will gets here."
"Thanks."
Hailey stood, heading for the door.
"Text me if you need anything. Voight will probably check on you later."
The bathroom was pitch black when Jay woke up and he panicked, frantically grabbing for the toilet, or his phone, or-
Hang on. He's warm. The tiles were cold... Weren't they?
Finally finding his phone Jay flicked the torch on, taking in his surroundings. The tiles in question were covered by towels and there was a soft blanket covering him. The blanket was unfamiliar and Jay wracked his brain for his last memory of someone coming into the bathroom...
Was it Adam? Or Dawson? Shit. With no strong recollection Jay realised how sick he actually was and unlocked his phone, dialling Will's number.
"Jay?"
"Nat, hey. Is Will still in surgery?"
"He just got out, Connor told him straight away. Hang on I'll pass you over."
Some shuffling on the other end and Jay nearly collapsed when he heard his brother's voice.
"Jay, hey man. Connor was just telling me about Hailey's call. You okay?"
"Will, you uh- do you think you could get here fast? The nausea is nuts and I just really want my own bed instead of the tiles."
"I hear you Jay, I'm just jumping into my car now. Hold on just a little longer."
Tears welled and Jay fought to keep them back. A sniff and Will knew what was going on.
"Oh, Jay, man... I know it's all been a lot lately but you've got people around you; me, Hailey, Dawson, Ruzek, Burgess, Atwater, even Voight... Stubborn asshole he is; he does care."
"I'm good," Jay croaked out but Will disagreed.
"Being sick has brought on a lot of stuff you probably buried. I thought you were seeing that therapist?"
"I am. Once a week."
"Good. Keep that up. I'm not going to make you do anything right now but I think you should talk to someone about increasing it to twice a week."
Jay groaned, stomach flipping again.
"Go puke Jay, I'll be there in ten."
Will hung up and Jay threw himself over the toilet just in time for his stomach contents to empty for the umpteenth time.
As per usual, everyone passed out in front of the TV after the shitty cop movie they'd decided to watch and take the piss out of- a habit from when Erin was still there. Ruzek and Atwater were fast asleep on one couch, while Burgess and Upton took the other. In separate armchairs Dawson snored softly and Voight dozed lightly. Poking his head into the room Jay smiled and set about blanketing everyone. Just as he was about to turn off he heard a yawn and turned to see Hank was waking up.
"Jay? What are you doing up?"
"Will's on his way. I was about to say goodbye but you guys had decided to fall asleep in front of the TV like my dad did."
"Good to see the puking hasn't hurt your sense of humour Jay," Adam murmured as he stirred and Jay rolled his eyes.
"Shut it Ruzek. Go back to sleep."
Ruzek shuffled back down under the blanket and dozed off, snoring softly into Atwater's ear. If Ruzek wasn't so smitten by Kim he and Atwater probably would have gotten together by now.
"Lie down Jay, I'll wait for Will."
Voight stood and before Jay could say anything he was sitting where Voight had been, the blanket wrapped around him. He had to admit; having a sleepover in your early thirties was kind of fun, even when it wasn't sexual.
After making sure Jay was going to stay Voight tracked downstairs, impressed at the sparkling clean dining table and kitchen. We're not considering where Jay projectile vomited; that's still a taboo subject. When Hank did peek he saw that Antonio had done an incredible job with the stain remover but the carpet may still need a deep clean. Will knocked on the door and Voight made his way over, opening up to the doctor. Will looked bone tired and cold, but he also looked worried.
"Jay's sick? How sick?"
"When was the last time you had a full night's sleep, Will?"
"A couple days ago, it's been hectic in the ER and-"
"Will, go home. I can take care of Jay; you need some sleep and some time to yourself."
"Does he want me?" Will asked quietly. Voight glanced back toward the staircase, nodding.
"I just convinced him to sleep, he's upstairs with the rest of them. It's been busy for us too."
"Any correlation?" Will asked as Hank let him inside. Taking off his shoes the older Halstead followed Hank up the stairs, taking two at a time to get to Jay. If he was called it was usually serious.
"An increase in domestic abuse cases."
"If you're okay with it I'll pass that on to Goodwin; she might be able to notice something we haven't."
"Go ahead."
Opening the door Hank stepped back, allowing Will into the second living room to get to Jay. Jay, who was asleep in the armchair curled up and shivering. Will rushed over and felt his pulse on his wrist first before managing to carefully wake his brother.
"Jay... Jay, it's me. Will. I'm here."
"The fuck are you doin' here?" Jay cussed as he stirred, hand to his head. Will frowned, rubbing his arm.
"I got called because you weren't feelin' so hot. Mind telling me what's goin' on?"
"Stomach man, it's been doing flips all day and I- I thought it was just because tonight was the first Christmas party without Alvin Olinsky, but I guess I was wrong."
"It could be a mix of things, Jay. Listen I'm gonna go home and get some sleep but if you need me for anything all you gotta do is call."
"I know. Thanks man."
Will put his hand to Jay's forehead, the furrow of his brows deepening.
"You've got a pretty high fever Jay. If that climbs I want you to go straight to the ER, okay?"
"Go away, you're annoying me."
Will raised his hands in surrender, letting a yawn escape.
"Okay, okay. I'm gonna leave you to it but Jay, seriously-"
"-we got it, Doc," Hank interrupted before a tired Halstead fight could break out. He'd seen Jay break Will's tooth once; they didn't need a repeat of that. Will nodded, clasping Hank's shoulder.
"Thanks, Voight, I appreciate it."
"Jay's a part of the family too, Will."
Will showed himself out and Hank knelt by Jay who was shifting on the armchair.
"How about I bring a bowl in here and you can sleep there tonight?"
"That sounds... Okay. Thanks, boss."
"Back in a moment."
When Voight returned Jay was sound asleep and he didn't hesitate to cover him up. Turning off the TV and checking over his unit Hank realised just how much he had taken these guys under his wing as much as he had with Erin all those years ago. Erin had been a little less willing to give in, though.
Jay had needed someone to fight against but also someone to lean on before his brother returned to Chicago. Even when Will returned Jay had relied on Hank for paternal guidance Pat Halstead didn't feel like giving him. They weren't just a team or a unit now; they were a family.
Monday morning rolled around and Jay entered the 21st district. He made a beeline for Intelligence, but was called back by Sargeant Platt.
"Chuckles!"
Jay sighed and turned, fronting up to the desk.
"It's still Detective Chuckles, Sarge."
"Whatever. I need you to sign this."
Skimming over the document Jay took the pen she offered him and scribbled his signature. Trudy watched him, opening and closing her mouth as though she had something else to add. Jay looked up as he put the pen down, eyebrow raised.
"Sarge?"
"You're still sick Halstead, you should sit down," she demanded and Jay almost laughed. Of course Platt knew about him being sick.
"Sarge I'm good, thanks-"
"Don't make me tell you twice, Halstead."
Jay sighed; of course Platt would want to talk to him when he was already running late. Admitting defeat, he followed her into the side room. She closed the door and he raised an eyebrow.
"Sarge, I spoke to my brother this morning and he's fine, so if you're trying to tell me bad news I can't say I'll believe you-"
"-Halstead. Stop. I'm actually trying to apologise to you."
That shut him up, and Platt sat down beside him at the desk.
"Mouch brought a bug home from the firehouse last week. I didn't realise I had it until Friday night, that's why I couldn't make it to Hank's. I must have passed it on to you; I'm sorry."
Jay sat, jaw dropped. Platt... Apologising? Today was going to be a weird day.
"That was all, Halstead. Go tell Voight I kept you."
"Yes, Sarge."
Jay scooted out the door and into Intelligence without further prompting and Platt went back to the desk as though nothing had happened.
21st at its finest.
"Okay, here's the plan. I want Antonio and Kevin on the far side of the building, Kim on the inside and- can someone please wake Halstead?"
Ruzek, sitting on the edge of Jay's desk, nudged him and Jay startled awake, hands out to defend himself. Everyone snorted in amusement and Jay blushed. Hank raised an eyebrow at his detective, gesturing toward his office. Jay sighed and got up; being called into Platt's office and then Voight's in one day pretty much guaranteed he would be leaving work early. Like Trudy had, Hank closed his office door and settled in his office chair.
"When was the last time you puked, Jay?"
"I dunno, like... 3 this morning? I feel a lot better, Sarge. I swear."
"I can see that, but I don't think you're completely 100% yet which is what I need for my unit. Go home, Jay, come back only when you haven't been sick in 24 hours."
Staring at his boots Jay frowned.
"Sorry, boss."
"Not mad. I would prefer you raring to go over a half assed Halstead any day."
Hank stood, opening his door for Jay to leave. Jay gave in, pausing at the door.
"Sarge?"
"I'll let you know how we go, Jay. Don't worry."
"Thanks."
Jay disappeared out the door and downstairs, and Voight heaved a sigh of relief. The youngest member of Intelligence deserved a break.
Chucking his keys on the island counter Jay made a beeline for the bathroom. Turning on the light over the mirror he grimaced at the blush on his cheeks, making his freckles more prominent against his pale skin. If he looked hard enough he could see why Will had been hesitant to agree to him going back to work; those eye bags could have held all his food shopping yesterday. Heading back into the living room he dug under the couch for the remote he'd dropped last night, lying back against the comfy cushions. Within seconds he could feel sleep coming for him again and this time he let it envelope him.