Chapter Text
“Peeta! Peeta!”
She was in the Games again, by the river’s edge. But Peeta wasn’t there. She needed to find him and he was nowhere. Katniss was frantic with fear. She needed him, but she knew that he was gone.
“Katniss!” A soft, familiar voice called out to her.
And then Rue was standing across the river from her -- whole and alive. Her round face was lit by one of her impish smiles. Katniss began to run towards Rue, jumping into the river. The water was up to her waist, dragging her down. With every step forward, the current pushed her two steps backward. Still, she struggled towards Rue. She had to protect her.
A low whistle filled the air. Katniss looked up to see a spear soaring overhead, towards Rue’s unmoving form.
“Rue!” Katniss watched, helpless in her watery prison, as the spear pierced Rue’s stomach, just as it had in the Games. As Rue collapsed, the river claimed Katniss, pulling her into its depths.
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“Katniss!” Peeta is shaking her. “Katniss, it’s just a dream!”
A dream. Katniss blinks, taking in the opulent room around her, struggling to come back to herself. She is not in the Hunger Games. She and Peeta Mellark were crowned the Victors months ago. She is on a Capitol train, on her way to District 11 for the first stop on the Victory Tour. Peeta is not gone. He is here, with her. Rue is gone. Katniss had not protected her. She had let Rue die.
Katniss’ chest suddenly feels unbearably tight. She can’t breath. She is going to suffocate. Katniss’ heart beats furiously as she takes huge, gasping breaths to try to sooth her suddenly oxygen deprived body.
She feels a hand, large and sturdy, on her back, making small, soothing circles. “In and out. In and out,” Peeta whispers in her ear.
Katniss focuses on her breath, her inhalations and exhalations matching the rhythm of Peeta’s words. Slowly the tightness in her chest loosens and her breathing feels less labored.
“Nightmares?” Peeta asks, after Katniss was breathing normally again.
Silently, she nods.
“In the Games?”
Another nod.
“I get them too. Every night.” Peeta’s voice is matter-of-fact. Katniss looks up at him, her grey eyes meeting his blue. For a minute, they are silent, exploring each other’s depths. Peeta’s eyes, steeped in such profound sadness, belie the impact of his nightmares. Katniss wants to reach out to him, to sooth him in the way he had just soothed her, but she doesn’t know how.
After a minute, Peeta awkwardly clears his throat. “I should go back to my room. I need to at least try to sleep tonight.”
“Stay.” He is almost at the door when Katniss finds her voice. He freezes, but does not turn around. Katniss repeats herself, louder and stronger this time. “Stay. Please. I don’t want to be alone.”
Without a word, Peeta turns around and walks back to her bed. He climbs in and lays his head on the pillow next to hers. Katniss stays perched on the end of her bed, staring at Peeta. She suddenly feels awkward and unwieldy.
“Is this okay?” Peeta asks, moving to sit up as he second-guesses himself. “I can sleep on the couch --”
In answer, Katniss lays down next to him, placing her head on his chest. Tentatively, Peeta puts an arm around her. It feels weird and yet completely natural, as if they’re back in the cave. Katniss finds herself focusing on the beating of his heart, the rhythm of his breath, the feeling of his hand making small circles on her back --
That night is the first time since the 74th Reaping that Katniss sleeps without dreaming.