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Mafia life wasn’t exactly easy. Even as an ex-mafia member Dazai was still haunted by those days.
It had been five years since he left the Port Mafia and became a member of the Armed Detective Agency. A year since he and Chuuya rekindled their previous relationship despite Chuuya still being apart of the Port Mafia.
The two had decided to not tell anyone else about their relationship. After all, what would happen? Chuuya was an executive and Dazai was a traitor. It wouldn’t end well and Dazai was really not willing to risk Chuuya’s safety, no matter how much Chuuya claimed he’d be fine.
Currently, the two had been assigned to work together again which was no longer an uncommon thing. When the Port Mafia and Armed Detective Agency needed to work together it was usually Chuuya and Dazai if they were available seeing as the two were the infamous Double Black duo.
The mission was simple. Stake out a possible drop point for Rats in the House of the Dead. The Rats were a common enemy for the Port Mafia and Armed Detective Agency so it made sense for them to at least cooperate together a little. Not to mention if it was a drop point they’d need the strongest duo they could get together to take them out without an issue.
That’s where Dazai and Chuuya came in. It was night two of their stakeout with no movement. They were told to wait a week and if there is no movement to switch out with Akutagawa and Atsushi, though Dazai definitely doubted those two could last a week without trying to kill each other at least once or twice.
Either way, Dazai was grateful he was with Chuuya, no matter how many times he was called insufferable by the other. He thought of it as a week of Chuuya to himself while getting paid. Though because it was a stakeout it wasn’t the most romantic situation.
They found an abandoned building nearby, out of earshot but they had a clear view of the drop point from the window. They were on the floor with yoga mats, sleeping bags and a small fire as their only heat source. The kept the blackout curtains closed during the night, only the person who was on watch occasionally peaking out to make sure that they didn’t miss anything.
Speaking of which is was currently Chuuya’s watch and Dazai was fast asleep in his sleeping bag. He seemed so calm and peaceful, Chuuya couldn’t help but admire his features as he slept. Not that he’d admit it to Dazai’s face but he was gorgeous, especially when asleep. Chuuya knew the hard way not to stroke Dazai’s ego like that, not unless needed.
Once done admiring his boyfriends sleeping figure, Chuuya went back to peering out the window, keeping an eye for any suspicious activity. It was pretty quiet and nobody appeared to be around so you could imagine his shock when he heard a soft whimper.
Looking for the source of the noise he looked around only to find Dazai as the culprit.
Dazai’s eyebrows were knitted together tightly, sweat pooling up causing his hair to stick to his forehead. He was tossing and turning in his sleeping bag and it looked as if he had been crying.
A Nightmare.
Neither of the two was strangers to nightmares. The Port Mafia made sure of that. Though usually, it was Dazai comforting Chuuya in the comfort of their own bed. He prefered to not wake Chuuya for his dreams, thinking them not worth the hassle. After all, they are just dreams.
This time was different though. Chuuya was quick to Dazai’s side as the other woke up with a gasp.
Dazai’s eyes darted around as he tried to gather his bearings, figure out where he was and what was going on. He was dazed, confused and spiralling. His mind was racing not realising the nightmare wasn’t real.
Chuuya was quick to recognise the fact that his boyfriend was indeed having a panic attack and that he had to try and ground him before he started to hyperventilate.
Chuuya started to gently coo and rub his back, he and Dazai had discussed this kind of thing before. Making sure for situations like this the other knew what they were comfortable for them to do.
“ Osamu, Osamu hey. I’m right here. Can you tell me five things you see? ” The shorter male asked in a soft voice, patiently waiting for Dazai to respond. Once he did he moved onto the next question, “ okay, now what about four things you can touch? ”
They continued that process until Dazai was calmer, at least calm enough to not have a panic attack. Chuuya stayed by his side though. He knew Dazai, even if he seemed okay, he wasn’t.
Now that he had mostly gotten his thoughts together, Dazai gave Chuuya a very fake smile, “ I’m okay now, it was just a silly dream. Thank you Chibi. ” he hummed out, despite not being okay. That dream had been the worst in a while, it had truly shaken him up and Chuuya knew that.
“ Osamu, you’re not okay and that wasn’t just a silly dream. ”
Unfortunately for Dazai, he had an amazing boyfriend who knew him as well as he knew himself. He couldn’t lie to Chuuya. No matter how hard he tried to, Chuuya always caught on.
“ I’m not going to force you to talk about it if you don’t want to but I- ” Chuuya ended up getting cut off by the other who sniffled softly, quickly letting his brave facade break.
“ Chuuya I- ” The brunette got choked up on his words. However, Chuuya knew that Dazai found it very difficult to open up about these things and let his guard down, so he just waited patiently. Giving Dazai the time he needed.
“ It was Oda. ” Dazai’s voice was soft but Chuuya heard him and his face just softened even more. He had heard the story of what happened to Odasaku a few times now and he knew it had a large toll on Dazai. “ He was right in front of me, I could have saved him. I should have saved him! I didn’t though. I was frozen in place. I let him die Chuuya, it’s my fault he’s dead. ”
Chuuya continued to rub his boyfriends back softly and slowly as he choked out sobs. Odasaku was a sensitive subject for Dazai but he had to understand it wasn’t his fault
“ Osamu, it’s not your fault and it never will be. He made that choice fully aware of what the outcome was going to be and you couldn’t have done anything to save him. ” Chuuya spoke out, his tone soft as he pressed one of his hands gently to Dazai’s cheek and got him to look him in the eyes.
Dazai took a deep breath and pressed his forehead to Chuuya’s. He knew that was the truth, even if it didn’t feel like it was. It was hard to let go but he had to try.
They stayed in the position they were in currently with Dazai’s head now resting on Chuuya’s shoulder as Chuuya messed with his short brown hair for a while.
Eventually, Dazai fell asleep again though and with a gentle kiss on the forehead Chuuya laid his head back down on the pillow. God knows Dazai needs the rest.
When the time comes around for them to swap shifts Chuuya just leaves him to rest instead and he’s glad he did because about twenty minutes later, some Rats showed up and Chuuya was waking Dazai up anyways so they could go and take them out.
Once Dazai was awake and revving to go, he gave Chuuya a smile. The earlier event not forgotten but rather set to the side for later discussion.
“ What do you say we go catch us some rats Chibi? ” he said with a sly smirk as he placed a gentle kiss on Chuuya’s lips, which just earnt him a smile and nod in return.
“ Yeah, Let’s go catch some Rats you bandage wasting Mackerel. ”