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Summary:

Put a face on your fear. When you understand it, and it is no longer vague and shapeless, you will find that your fear is no longer so formidable.

Notes:

I am positively weak for cute firefly scenes, so I cracked my knuckles and got to work on my own.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Bumblebee ungracefully sat himself down near the edge of Lake Eerie, legs outstretched and aching, not caring that the grass was still damp from that morning's rain. Looking up at the full moon, Bumblebee found himself uncharacteristically appreciative of the scenery around him. The moon was casting an attractive glow onto the water, while the lake itself was gently lapping at the shore in front of his pedes. If he listened carefully, he could hear crickets chirping.  

Bee would never admit to the rest of his crew he’d been coming here alone. They would worry, remind him of his short frame, remind him that their enemies were too large for him to fight alone, and by Primus, he hated being fret over. Yes, Bumblebee was small, he knew that. But there had to be some kind of advantage, some kind of benefit to being a mini-bot that Bumblebee just hasn’t realized yet. He’s fast, but he’s not agile. He has his stingers, but they could never do the kind of hard-hitting damage that he needs. He could easily hide and take cover, but his bright paint job would sooner give him away than offer any real camouflage. Not that his headstrong personality would allow him to shy away from a fight anyway. Bumblebee had to shape up, and quick, or else a certain triple-changer might actually be the death of him.  

Thinking back on the last few battles, Bumblebee’s face soured. For whatever reason, Blitzwing had eyes only for him on the battlefield, and Bee has finally understood just how big an issue that is. Bee can hardly even remember their last fight, just the sensation of an intense heat against his faceplates before going unconscious. Sari had barely gotten to him in time.  

“He activated his thrusters right against the side of your helm kid,” Ratchet had said after helping Bee up onto his pedes. “You’re lucky you’re still online.”  

That’s why Bee was out here. Because if that had happened anywhere besides Earth, anywhere that didn’t have Sari and her key, Bumblebee would be offline.  

With that sobering thought, Bee shook his helm and, with a grunt, stood back up and dropped into a fighting stance. He'd only been training for about an hour, and he planned on continuing for a few more. However, as soon as he was about to throw the first punch, he noticed a flash to his left. Quickly bringing out his stingers and pivoting, Bee stayed as still as possible, cables tight. If a 'Con showed up now he was so slagged, maybe it was kinda stupid to come out here by himself, ok if he made it through this he’d never sneak out again, he’d even clean his room-  

Another flash, this time on his right. Then another, drifting lazily upwards. Bee exhaled and slouched forward, putting his stingers away.  

“Just fireflies,” Bee said to no one in particular, smiling as relief rolled through his circuits. “Thank Primus. You little guys nearly made me jump out of my processor!”  

Bumblebee stepped forward carefully and held a hand out, trying his best not to scare the small insects away. Sometime last week Sari had run into the base giggling, a glass jar held out in front of her, excitedly showing it off to everyone in the base. She laughed when all she got in return were blank stares, save for Prowl, who leaned down to get a closer look at the three imprisoned little lights.  

“Are you sure they’re not, you know, dangerous? Why are they glowing?” Bulkhead had asked warily, still keeping some distance away. Bumblebee, however, was the next one to crouch down.    

Sari just laughed again, letting Bee hold the jar in his servo. “They’re fireflies! Or lightning bugs, or whatever. They’re flashy but totally harmless.”  

As Bee had watched the bugs dance around in the jar, he tried not to think about that statement too hard.  

Now, watching as a firefly gently landed on one of his digits, Bee’s mind wandered back to that memory. Sari had only managed to catch three of these things.  

Bee could probably one-up that.  

Cupping his servos around the firefly already in his grasp, Bee waited for another flash, then slowly stalked towards it. Seeing the little critters was difficult at this time of night, even with the moonlight, so when Bumblebee saw a flash within grabbing distance, he immediately shot his servos forward in an attempt to capture it. Bringing his arms in close, he closed one optic and peeked inside his little cage. Two lights blinked back at him.  

“Yes!” Bee exclaimed aloud, feeling instantly rejuvenated. No longer bothering with the stealth approach, he quickly darted to the closest flash and scooped it up. He collected a third, a fourth, kept running around and chasing these lightning bugs until he had 8 of them dancing around in his servos. He was so enraptured with his odd form of training that his audials didn’t even pick up the sound of a twig snapping in two nearby. He felt giddy, and he wasn’t even sure why this was so much fun, but he now understood Sari’s excitement.  

Going back to his favorite spot near the water, Bee smiled up at the moon, then stared intently at his servos. He then stretched out his arms, and slowly unclasped his hands.  

Eight fireflies gently lifted up and around Bumblebee, and he could only look up at them with a sense of wonder. Did Prowl get this same feeling when he looked at like, trees and stuff? Of course, Bee would never openly admit to enjoying his time out here, he had a reputation to keep up after all, but his thoughts were his own.  

Bumblebee wasn’t sure how long he stood there, just watching the fireflies around him, letting his mind wander from one topic to another, but when he looked back up at the moon and noted it definitely wasn’t in the same spot he remembered it being, he decided it was time to head back to the base.  Ratchet would offline him if he overslept.  

A bit after Bee got past the tree line, a large mech waited until he could no longer hear the mini-bot's steps before cautiously stepping out from his hiding place, the foliage and dense tree population giving a decent amount of cover.  His monocle rapidly zipped in and out as he tried to process what exactly he just witnessed, hands still at his sides. He shook his helm after a moment, then activated his thrusters, making a beeline for the Decepticon base.  

The calm stayed with Bumblebee the whole ride home, and as he climbed into his berth, he wondered how soon he’d be able to sneak back out. Chasing fireflies and thinking about nothing for several hours had to count as some kind of training, right?  

Meanwhile, Blitzwing dropped himself down onto the edge of his own berth, processor running a mile a minute. He leaned forward and rested his helm against his hands, his faceplates completely sore from how often they were switching. It was like half of his processor was replaying the scene over and over, rapidly spitting out thoughts and emotions, while the other half had completely shut down, unable to properly translate his feelings. Which face was most appropriate for this situation?  

He should have taken the shot, had a thousand opportunities to do so. He should have taken the shot, and brought back the small Autobots dead frame as a gift to their “glorious leader”. Maybe Megatron would look at him with something a little less threatening in his optics, and being able to have seen the look of absolute incredulity on Lugnut would’ve been reward enough on its own.

He should have taken the shot.

But you didn't.

“Regardless, jou von’t be getting much rest tonight,” Blitzwing whispered to himself. He had to work through this, and fast, or else Megatron would be having his spark on a platter.  

 


 

It was two days before Bumblebee could find a good opportunity to go back to Lake Eerie. And sure, it might have been considered “out of character” for him to jump at the chance to go night patrolling, but most of the others had just assumed Bee was restless and didn’t ask too many questions. Except for Bulkhead, who knew him a bit better than the others, but he wasn’t about to question him in front of the whole team. Bee wasn’t even sure what he would say. It’s true that he had some built-up energy, two days without a single problem needing his team's attention leaving them all a bit fidgety, but rather than spend those two days kicking his pedes around or playing video games like he normally would, Bumblebee had been thinking. Fantasizing, really. Dozens of combat scenarios running through his head, fights where he and his friends were up against terrifying odds yet always coming out on top. Fights where Lugnut would have Bulkhead pushed into a corner, only for Bee to swoop in and deliver a swift kick to the back of the Decepticons knee and save him. Or Megatron would have Optimus in his clutches, ready to tear his helm off, but Bee would be the one to drop from above, stingers out, and completely fry his circuity with the biggest electrical discharge any of them had ever seen. Bumblebee wasn’t entirely sure he actually stored that much power, but in his dreams he was a hero. And heroes didn’t have limitations.

So no, Bumblebee’s urgency to leave the base didn’t come from a lack of stimuli, in fact it was quite the opposite. In all his fantasies, Bee was much more lithe than he was at present, knowing exactly how to throw his weight around to his advantage. Bee had a lot of work to do if he wanted to match up to the Bee in his head, and that certainly wasn’t going to happen by playing Mortal Kombat all day.

Bee pulled off the side of the road and transformed, and as he retraced his steps back to the lake, he thought about his goals for tonight; first he needed to make a balance beam out of two stumps and a log, then he was gonna walk across that log like, a lot,  until he could do it with his optics blindfolded and his servos tied behind his back. Then maybe like, try to do a cartwheel? Sari did it once, so it couldn’t be all that hard—

Bee slapped a servo over his intake and quickly put his back to the tree next to him.

Someone was already here. Someone big. And if the wing struts he saw were anything to go by, someone bad.

Crouching down very slowly, Bumblebee made sure the foliage gave ample cover before daring to peek over at the unwelcome visitor, then immediately wanted to groan when he recognized Blitzwing, the one Decepticon who seemed to have it out for him personally. Of course he’s here, and it seems like he hasn’t noticed Bee’s presence yet.

Blitzwing was currently standing in the clearing by the water, faced away from him. The fireflies were out again, lazily drifting about, and Bee felt a pang of pity for them. You poor sods,  Bee thought with a frown, squinting to get a better look at what Blitzwing was up to. You have no idea what kinda brute this mech is.  

But the oversized tin can wasn’t actually doing anything. No violent tantrums, no maniacal laughter, just a strange sense of calm and stillness that went against everything Bumblebee knew about the mech. Then Bee came to the realization that he was witnessing the Decepticon with his guard down. From the angle his helm was at, Blitzwing seemed to be looking down at something held in his hands. Or someone. Bumblebee shook his head at that. What would the Decepticons want with any humans?

But then Blitzwing turned around, and Bumblebee had to stop himself from gasping. Blitzwing, now facing towards him, idly looked at the scenery around him, servos clasped. A lightning bug drifted over to him and gently landed on his servo, and Blitzwing’s monocle zoomed in on it before it took off again. His optics followed it for a bit before he retracted the monocle and looked back down. His shoulders heaved in what must have been a sigh, before gently parting his servos.

Oh, Bee thought to himself. And that really was his only thought then, because Primus, what else was he supposed to think?

What easily must have been 20 fireflies flew from Blitzwing’s palms, blinking around his entire frame leisurely. Bumblebee could only watch Blitzwing’s face, see his optic ridges raise and mouth part open, and Bee had the brief thought that he must have the same expression on himself. 

Blitzwing gazed up and around, holding up a servo to delicately poke at the lightning bugs in front of him. Then Bee witnessed Blitzwing’s lips quirk upwards just the slightest bit before a soft whirr broke the silence, his faceplates spinning before stopping on a sharp red grin. Oddball Bumblebee was still thinking up nicknames for Blitzwing’s faces —stepped forward and cupped his servos, bringing them up near his faceplates to get a better look at the bugs within them. He cocked his head to the side before letting a rather long glossa drift out of his intake before the thing darted forward and—yup, judging from how he was now aggressively shaking his head, he ate a firefly. Bumblebee very nearly let out a laugh from the sheer absurdity of this entire situation, the fear of getting caught the only thing keeping him quiet. He should call for backup, he should leave,  but Bumblebee firmly kept his pedes on the ground and his arms by his sides. Something about all this, despite the insanity of it, felt important.

So Bumblebee stayed in his spot, optics never once leaving Blitzwing, and Blitzwing continued to enjoy his time with the fireflies. The serenity was ruined when Blitzwing suddenly jerked his helm to the side, servo going up to his audial and face changing to the fiery one. He looked like he was about to shout something before he stalled. Then with a grimace, Ice Queen—Bee really had to work on these—took over. There was a harsh expression on his face, even more rigid than usual.

“Understood, Lord Megatron. I vill be zere immediately.”  Ah, a comm link then. A beat of silence passed, then Blitzwing sighed, expression and posture slacking just a smidge. He looked at the lightning bugs again, before turning and walking towards the lake. As he got to the shoreline, he looked behind him, and Bee was worried he might’ve somehow accidentally revealed himself, but then Blitzwing transformed into his jet alt-mode and took off.

Bee stayed crouched for quite some time, long after he couldn’t hear the sound of the jet anymore. When he did finally stand up, he realized his whole frame was shaking, and then his processor finally caught up with the situation.

“Oh slag! ” Bee shouted, then took off back towards the road he came from. There was a voice screaming in his head that this was something he was not ever supposed to witness.

He sped back to the base, ignoring every traffic law ever, and didn’t even spare Bulkhead a glance when he got inside. Bulkhead tried to hail him down, but it went in one audial and out the other as Bumblebee raced towards his room. Bee closed and locked his door, then threw himself onto the berth. On his side he stared at the wall with wide optics, and only then did he really allow himself to think about what happened.

You saw Blitzwing, not 30 feet away from you, and he was acting cute. Cute! Bee nearly lurched at the thought, instead flipping onto his back to stare at the ceiling.

Cute. Gentle. Blitzwing, the mech who wants to rip you apart in his servos and then have you for dinner. You should have just called for backup, all of you probably could have taken him.

He should have called for backup.

But you didn't. 

Bee threw an arm over his optics. He vaguely remembered being warned of something like this back in the military.

“You never view your enemy as mechs and femmes. Decepticons are monsters, and the moment you feel any inkling of sympathy for them, is the moment you’re lost. Do not hesitate on that trigger soldiers, or you’re better off in the acid wastes.”

Lost, huh? Bumblebee let out a huff that was almost a laugh. Guess I am. I just saw a Decepticon as a mech, and I want to see more.

Bumblebee took that realization a lot better. Maybe he was just numb. Maybe he took solace in that something like that would never happen again, and he and Blitzwing could go back to beating each other up like they used to.

The numb feeling was spreading now, and before Bee fell into recharge, he noted that only half of him wanted to forget the whole thing. The other was still curious. If Blitzwing liked fireflies, what else did he like?

Notes:

Comments and criticisms always welcome!! This was a lot of fun to write and I look forward to continuing it!