Archive of Our Own

 

J. Novak Clinical Hospital was bigger than a clinic but smaller than a city hospital. Castiel Novak was the cousin of the founder, Naomi Regan, and one of the top doctors of the city. In fact, Dr. C. Novak was number one in the hospital and he disliked number two. Dean Winchester. They worked together on the same floor, in the same office, with the same nurses, and he hated it. Castiel has never hated anyone before. Dean's smug attitude, smiling at everyone, joking around with the patients. He never took his job seriously and Castiel didn’t know how he was so close behind Castiel's standards, he even found out that Dean tested higher than him overall. He tried to ignore the green eyed jester, as much as one can do with the same patients.

"Good morning fellow doctor!" The annoying voice rang through the nurses' station. Castiel happened to be there only to gather an old patient's folder when Dean walked in. "How are you Cas?"

"Don't call me that." He snapped back, quickly looking through the huge filing cabinet. "Meg, a little help here?"

"I need to check on 102." She interrupted, huffing out a laugh. She knew he hated Dean, and would put them in awkward situations. Meg would call Castiel to the same room Dean was already in just to cause trouble.

"Why don't I help you?" Dean suggested, standing too close. Castiel took a step back and threw his hands up in defeat, walking away. His blood pressure would have spiked. He didn't want to deal with Dean today, he was having an annoying day to start with. His patients were very grumpy, causing him to be grumpy. One of his patients happened to threaten him too because Castiel refused to write a prescription for sleeping pills. He gave out a sigh and went to the clinic.

"You have Alastair in room seven again." Meg said annoyingly and walked past him. And there was his sleeping pill abuser again. He let out a sigh and pushed his stethoscope into his pocket before opening the door.

"Mr. Alastair, pleasure to see you again."

"You won't write me the prescription." He said more as a statement then a question.

"That is correct. You are abusing prescription drugs. And I think-" he gulped down air when Alastair pulled out a long butcher knife. "Mr. Alastair."

"Write me the prescription, Doc."

"No. Please calm down." He just needed to get to the small call button on the desk behind him. He took a few steps back, backing up into the desk and began feeling around for it, keeping his eye on Alastair.

"Write. It."

"No-" and like that, it was all he could say.

A flash of metal, oxygen ripped out of him, gargling instead of gasps for air, and a numbing pain filled his body. He fell back towards the desk, sliding down to the floor. He finally grabbed his neck and felt the deep cut.

He was going to die. His body rushed with a cold sweat, as his vision blurred. He could hear screaming and his vision filled with his annoyed nurse, Meg and the sound of yelling behind the ringing in his ears.

"Hold your horses, Clarence. Dean!" She turned and he tried to follower her, but his vision was cutting in and out. He felt like his head was swelling up and was going to fly away. Full green eyes, no smile, no cheer.

All Castiel could think of was 'finally.'

------

Castiel never liked the beeping sound of the heart monitor. His heart always sped up when it changed, even for a second, fearing it would tell him his patient was dead. He would rather have ringing then this constant beeping in his ears.

"Are you sure we can't just try to reconnect it? It was a straight cut." Meg.

"I'm afraid to reopen it right now in fear of cutting it up. We shall wait for it to heal." Dean.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked around, realising he was in the hospital's suite room.

"It could heal over and you won't be able to-"

"Cas - Doctor Novak?" Dean said. He opened his eyes as wide as they would go. He lifted his hand to his neck and felt a bandage. Stitches laid under them, lined across the cut perfectly. He wish he had a mirror to judge the work done. "Don't try to talk okay?"

He shot a glare at Dean. His throat felt raw and crowded. He wanted to ask what happened, but he knew something was wrong if Dean was taking this seriously.

"Meg, can you check his I.V.'s. I shall be back in just a moment." Dean placed down a folder - when did he pick that up? - and left the room. Meg rolled her eyes and walked over to Castiel's IV station. He watched her in silence trying to make eye contact. She finally looked over at him and tried to smile.

"You are one lucky sonovabitch, Clarence." She pulled up a chair and sat down, propping her feet up on his bed. "Dean came in and beat the livinshit out of Alastair. Had to get someone to pull him off to focus enough to help you. He was the only doc around." She stretched her hands. "He tried to operate on you right there, but he decided to save you instead of your voice." Castiel's eyes widened, the beeping sped up. "Alastair cut your vocal cords. This close to killing you, but Dean wouldn't let that happen." She pulled a banana out of her apron, peeling it. "I tried to be your voice Clarence. I know you'd want it-" he waved at her and tried to charade that he wanted paper and pen. She rolled her eyes and got up, crossing the room. The suite had a desk and another bed if a visitor wanted to stay with their loved ones. She pulled out a notepad and pen, handing it to him.

He quickly jotted down his thoughts and handed it to her.

Dean mentioned you can go back in and fix this.

"No, he said he doesn't want to risk it. Killin' you by trying to heal you." He took the paper again and continued to write, a bit more aggressively.

Give me a mirror, I'll do it myself.

"Now you're just being stupid Clarence." He slumped back into the bed. If he didn't have his voice, he lost everything. "Dean said he might be able to go back in when you heal a bit. Why don't you-"

"Can you get me Alastair's folder Meg?" They both turned to find Dean, looking in a book. Meg turned to Castiel before standing up and leaving. Castiel made sure to lock his eyes on Dean, trying to figure out what to write down. He thought 'I want another doctor' or 'Go back in there and fix this.' But Dean wasn't looking at him, he was looking down at his damn book. He wrote on a blank paper and waved at the doctor, trying to get his attention.

"Please stop moving so much. You'll tear your stitches." He looked up and watched his frown dropped even more.

I want another doctor.

"Cas, I'm going to fix this. Just give me time." As Dean gave his excuses, Castiel wrote another note, holding it up.

I will not allow you to take my job away from me.

"You think I didn't operate on you because I want your job? Dude, you're thinking crazy."

I want to see Naomi.

Dean's jaw locked.

"Don't pull family on me. I am your doctor, not your fellow co-worker. You're straining yourself. Stop." He ignored 'his doctor' and wrote quickly and aggressively.

I can still pull rank. Get me Naomi!

Dean frowned and took a step back. He slammed the book down on the table near Castiel and left the room. He turned to the book and saw Dean was reviewing the ENT. He felt guilt in the pit of his stomach, but he ignored it and faced the door.

Naomi came in quicker than he expected. She didn't look happy, he saw Dean behind her, looking down at his feet.

"Castiel. I'm so happy to see you awake, and from the sound of it, very much alive." He gave a small nod. Holding up paper he wrote on earlier. "I understand you want another doctor, but Dean knows more about your injury than anyone. He saved your life Castiel. Show him respect."

He wanted to yell at her. She had never liked Dean, why was she taking his side. He slammed his hands down beside him and felt a sharp pain under his bandage. Dean quickly rushed around Naomi and was lifting his head up softly.

"He will only be helping you heal until you are back on your feet. He said there is a way to get your voice back. You once told me, patience is a virtue. Why don't you follow your own advice." She turned and left. He turned his eyes to Dean who was pulling off his bandage, touching the raw skin.

Pain ran down his neck, he felt like he was drowning. He grabbed Dean's hand and squeezed tightly.

"I know, hold on. This isn't going to feel good. Open your mouth." He followed instructions knowing what was to happen. Dean slowly shoved a suck tube down his throat and flipped on the machine. The slurping noise caused his stomach to turn. Dean held his neck with a sturdy hand, and when Castiel moved his eyes, he saw worry filling the doctor's face. Dean pulled the tube out slowly, and kept his hand on the back of his neck. Castiel tried not to cough, and pointed to his neck. "Yeah, yeah. Well I did say don't move so much."

Dean moved his hand around his neck softly to the front, continuing to remove the bandage. He pulled a chair over and grabbed some tools to work on the popped stitches.

"You're very stubborn, you know that?" He glared at the doctor. The room fell silent as Dean worked on Castiel's neck. When he pushed away to get a fresh bandage wrap, Castiel reached over for the IV  control, but before he could adjust the vicodin, Dean slapped his hand away.

"You have enough. Don't make me handcuff you to the bed." It was suppose to be teasing but it came out more aggressive. He began wrapping Castiel gently, holding the top of his neck softly and wrapping the bandage even softer. It felt comforting.  He hoped he could make his patients feel this calm. As he felt himself relax, he had a thought  and tried something but it hurt.

"What's wrong?"

I tried to hum.

"Try not to. At least for a while.  I don't need to explain why. I feel like you'd get annoyed at how I'd explain it." He finished and leaned away from Castiel. Green eyes examined his face, still full of worry. "I'm just going to study over there. Feel free to use this to get my attention." He handed Castiel a bundle of keys. Dean was sometimes in charge of locking the rooms, these must be the keys. Dean gave him a weak smile and headed to the desk with the large book.

Castiel realized that that was the first smile Dean had made since he woke up. That wasn't like him at all. What happened to always smiling Dean, joking around Dean; instead he got this cold, yet caring Dean. He wrote on his paper and jingled the keys, watching Dean turned to him.

What about our patients?

"Anna and Tessa stepped in."

And Meg?

"Refusing to work with anyone else. Checking on our patients."

Food?

"You can't eat for a while. Broth maybe in two days."

Diagnostic?

Dean's jaw locked up and turned away from him. "I was more concerned for your life than your vocal cords. By the time I was able to get to you, you'd lost too much blood." He turned the page and fell silent. Castiel had no idea. He would have had done the same and then told the patient they were stuck that way forever, not like Dean. Dean was studying material to make sure there was a way to return his voice. He now felt selfish. He sunk into his bed and let the pain numb him into slumber.

------

He ended up having a nightmare. Alastair stabbed him a hundred times instead of slitting his throat. Dean hovered over him, wet green eyes, weeping in sadness. Castiel remembered running a bloody hand over Dean's face before wake up gasping for air.

There was an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. Dean, who looked exhausted, was hovering over him. He pulled the mask away from his face and gave a small smirk.

"Better?" He nodded in return, watching Dean walk to the spare bed, and crawl into it. He stared for a moment before turning to face the ceiling.

His mind raced too much to fall back asleep. He contemplated getting up and walking over to the book Dean was reading, but that could strain his stitches.  Instead, he lay there thinking. He thought of Dean. Why was he so nice? He saved Castiel's life and continued to help him. Maybe Naomi threatened him, forcing him to return his voice. That was ridiculous,  Naomi and the rest of his family didn't give a donkey about his health. They only wanted him alive to show people the brother of the great J. Novak.

Castiel's twin brother, Jimmy, died ten years ago from cancer. He was so young and was ambitious. Mother always loved Jimmy more than himself. He became quiet and watched as his brother died. He didn't have his own voice until after Jimmy passed, and even then people said they could only see Jimmy when they look at him.

Now Castiel had no voice at all, when he finally became noticed by his family as himself, number one doctor in the state. He looked over at Dean, who was fast asleep. He wondered if Dean knew. Knew that without his voice, he was just a face of his beloved twin brother. He closed his eyes and decided to up his meds without his doctor’s permission, helping him fall asleep without drama.

-----

Angry green eyes. Didn't know green could have so much emotion.

"You upped your own iv and it caused you to become comatose." He sounded angry too. He looked around the room. The only thing that changed was the desk had more books on them along with coffee cups. He turned back towards Dean. He didn't know that would happen. "I should take you completely off. Make you suffer." He paused running a hand over his face. "Slowed your heart so slow, I thought you died." He began pacing now. "Almost two days, you dick."

Castiel felt guilt build up in him again.  His mind was clouded with pain, he didn't pay attention towards what he was doing. He watched as Meg entered the room, her eyes wide and red. She quickly snorted and walked up to him, lifting a hand as a threat.

"Don't do that again, you idiot." Now he was confused. He looked over at Dean who understood his confusion.

"You practically overdosed yourself. Meg told me about your family so I thought you tried to kill yourself." Dean plopped down on his bed and ran another hand down his face. "Meg, get me some coffee and Doctor Novak some chicken broth."

Castiel went to grab his paper and pen, but couldn't move his hands far. Dean actually handcuffed him to the bed. Leather bound bonds kept his hands by his side. Dean stayed on his bed, not looking up until Meg returned. She set down a tray of water and broth onto the food table and proceeded to pick up the rubber spoon.

"I'll do it. Go home and get some sleep."

"You do too Doc." She said, giving Castiel a knowing glare before leaving.

Dean crossed the room and resumed where Meg left off, yet he was avoiding eye contact. He picked up the cup and placed a straw in it.

"Let's see if you can swallow, alright? I took out your nutrients so, we need to get something in you." He followed Dean's instructions and took light sips, feeling the cool water rush down his raw throat. It still ached, but he guessed he still had pain meds in his system. "Good." Dean picked up the broth and spoon. Castiel could see dark rings form under his eyes.  He wanted to apologize, if only Dean would look up. Instead, he fed him spoon by spoon, only looking at his mouth and throat.

Instead of taking a spoonful of broth, he mouthed I am sorry. Dean looked up from his mouth to his eyes. Castiel saw so much grief in those green eyes. He had never noticed Dean's eyes this much before. He pulled his paper and began to write, but Dean spoke before he finished.

"I could have saved your vocal cords. But I was afraid of losing you." Castiel looked up and gave Dean a squinty face. "You hated me so much, but - uh, I envied you greatly and I idolized you. Seeing you there on the floor freaked me out. I didn't want a friend to die. Not like my mother." Deans jaw locked and he turned away. "I'm happy you're awake and well. I shall be giving you pills to help the pain and sleep. You're off the IV." He stood up and walked out of the room quickly.

Castiel stared at the door for a while. He didn’t know why his face lit up, embarrassed and charmed. Dean considered him a friend and cared, despite the fact that he always treated him like garbage. Castiel frowned and lay down, Dean removed his cuffs so he could be more comfortable

He must have fallen asleep because he was definitely dreaming.

Alastair was in front of him, knife in hand. Castiel knew what was going to happen, but couldn't prevent it. As Alastair surged forward, he tried to close his eyes, but couldn't. A flash and his vision shifted, he found himself turning and finding Dean with his throat cut. Castiel rushed to help, but blood seeped out too quickly. He started digging into Dean's neck, trying to tie the vocal cords back together, but he was killing him faster. He yelled at himself to stop,  watching in horror as Dean died in his hands.

He tried to stop the dream, tried to close his eyes, but it was a soft feeling that pulled him from his dream. He was screaming, or trying to. He grabbed onto whoever was in front of him and tried to speak. Sharp stabbing pain rocketed through his neck. He could feel his tears race down his face being absorbed by a flannel shirt. He turned his head slightly and saw the person was Dean. Since he was no longer handcuffed to the bed, he gripped tighter around the doctor.

"You're fine. It was just a dream."

Castiel laid his head into Dean's shoulder and tried to subside his sobbing. Pain pulsed through his neck and caused his head to swirl. He wanted to sleep, to block out the pain, but it seemed the pain followed him even in his dreams.

"Have you been having these nightmares often?" He nodded into his shoulder, refusing to let go even after Dean released him.  "You might be having mild PTSD." Dean paused and tried to push away from him. He pulled back, but left himself stable by holding onto Dean's shoulders. "I should call Hael." He knew his eyes went wide, but he stared at the doctor in front of him before looking away, feeling pain in the neck shoot through his head. "You're always better when she's around. You're calmer." He mouthed 'No' hoping Dean would see it, he’d rather not nod his head anymore.

Dean pulled away, causing him to panic. He tried to tell Dean not to call Hael, not to leave him alone. Meg would be better than Hael. He knew she knew what happened, but she must not have permission to visit him. If Dean called as his doctor, she would have full permission to come visit him. She must be in Haiti still, probably watching her phone like a hawk. Dean helped him lay down and began to unwrap his bandage gently. He must have pulled his stitches again.

"Would you rather I call Gabriel? I bet he'll calm you down right away. Naomi will just stress you out more." He examined the cut softly. "Balthazar keeps trying to see you, but I'm not allowing him near this whole floor." Castiel wanted to laugh at that, of course Balthazar would try to push his way into here, he was Castiel's friend through med school and transferred here when he got the chance.

He hissed when Dean patted the cut with something cold and rough.

"My brother is going to be your attorney, the trial will be starting tomorrow." Castiel was confused at first, but his mind finally caught up with what he said. His trial. Alastair must be up for attempted murder. Dean's brother, Sam, was one of the best lawyers in the state. Dean wouldn't stop talking about him, Sam this, Sam that. Sam was a humanitarian lawyer, so a murder must be different for him. He hoped it wasn't a burden for Sam. The Winchesters cared too much for him, working too hard for him.

Castiel closed his eyes and focused on breathing slowly, relaxing under Dean's gentle touch. He shot his eyes open when he heard Dean stand up.

"I'll be right back. I need food, and I'll send Meg to finish up." Before Dean walked away, he grabbed his hand and squeezed. He mouthed 'don't call Hael,' but Dean didn't answer. He squeezed back before letting Castiel’s hand go, leaving the room.

The room was too quiet.

He was staring at the bathroom door and realized he needed to use it. He could go slowly or ask Meg for help. He really didn't want Meg to help him. He sat up and turned his body slowly for his feet hanging off the edge. His ears rang for a moment with a rush of dizziness washed over him. He waited for it to clear and slowly pushed himself to his feet. His limbs felt so stiffened, he almost fell back onto the bed. He pushed himself to the closest wall and used it to help him cross the room. Pain filled him from his neck down, causing him to become short of breath. He would yell at a patient doing this and realized Dean would be furious.

Right on cue, Meg walked in and dropped what she had in her hands.

"Clarence!" She quickly wrapped her arm around his shoulder and helped him stand on his feet. He pointed to the bathroom door, and she rolled her eyes. They slowly crossed the room and she stood in the doorway. "Do you need me to hold you while you do your business?" He shot a glare at her and used the handicap railings to keep him standing. She rolled her eyes again and closed the door softly.

After he struggled to wash his hands, he turned to the door and was about to knock on it for Meg, when he heard voices.

"Naomi wants me to allow Tessa to analyze him."

"You can't. He'll fail her stupid test. If you can't fix him, then she wouldn't allow him to practice ever again." Meg sounded like her annoyed self.

"You don't think I don't understand that? I'm trying, Meg."

"What will happen if they summon him to the trial?"

"I won't allow it. Look, I called Hael. She will help. Clean the spare bed for me, she should be in tomorrow morning." Dean  tried to whisper, but the room was too quiet to hide anything, even behind this door. Castiel didn't want Hael, he didn't want Dean to leave. "When is your summoning to the trial?"

"In two days. Yours?"

"Monday. Look, lets not expand on what happened when I entered the room." Meg chuckled.

"Thought we agreed, I beat the shit out of Alastair." Meg bouted as Dean laughed softly.

Castiel knocked lightly causing their laughter to seize and Dean opened the door. He didn't look happy.

"I didn't think I'd have to tell you to wait for help." Dean helped him back to the bed. Castiel waited for his eyes to travel back up to his face. 'I'm sorry.' Dean smiled.

"I can't tell if you're breaking all of your own rules just to annoy me or to get me back for something." Castiel shook his head tightly and worded 'no.' Dean grabbed his jaw to seize his movement and lips made a thin line. "Stop moving your head." Before Castiel could snap back, he got up and walked over to the desk. Meg swooped in and finished wrapping up his bandage. "Hael will be here tomorrow, I shall be back in a few days. She should be able to take care of you."

"And if Tessa comes, don't say anything." Meg said, laughing and picking up his water up. Castiel glared at her as she pushed the straw at his lips. "Oh come on, it was funny."

Dean sent a squint facial expression towards Meg and handed Castiel his cell phone. He totally forgot about it, it was in his lab coat during the attack, turned off. He was afraid to turn it back on. Dean also handed him a folded piece of paper.

"If you need anything, text me. Meg will be happy to get your phone charger."

"I totally will." She sarcastically said.

Meg finished up and left Castiel alone. He felt on edge, not able to fall asleep.

 

He ended up staying awake until Hael knocked lightly on the door and entered. Her hair had grown longer since the last time he saw her. She went pale when she saw him in the hospital bed.

"Oh Castiel." She walked over to him and sat on the edge of the bed, lightly lifting his jaw up to look at his neck. He pushed her away, already annoyed by his younger sister's motherly nature. "I was so happy when Dean called. I can only be here for a day."

Castiel pointed towards the pad of paper and pen on the side table, Meg must have moved it. She handed it to him.

I'm doing fine.

"Just being stubborn. I would rather you sleep a bit. Dean told me about the nightmares." She paused and took his hand. Her identical blue eyes stared back. "Are they as bad as they were as a child?" He gave a small nod and looked away. He watched her kick her shoes off and climb next to him, he scooted over enough to make room for her. She was warm against him and the feeling was comforting.

"Get some sleep. I'll wake you if you get another nightmare." She ran a hand over his collarbone. "Just like old times." He closed his eyes and breathed out a long sigh.

-----

When he woke up, he realized he didn’t have any dreams, and his sister was still on her side. Another thing he realized was someone else was snoring. He turned his head slightly and saw a body in the other bed fast asleep. He took his free hand, since Hael was sleeping on the other, and ran it over his soon to be scar. His pain meds had completely worn off and he was in extreme pain. His throat felt raw and it burned every time he tried to swallow. He couldn't even moan in pain, it hurt too much. He shifted, causing Hael to wake up and look up at him.

"Everything ok?" she ran a hand over her face and turned to the snoring man. "Dean must have came in. Quiet coming in, but a loud sleeper," she said, rubbing her eye. He must have been showing how much pain he was in because she sat up and ran a hand over his forehead. "You don't look so good. When was the last time Dean gave you something."

"Wha?" Dean shot up from his bed, looking around groggy. The small light above Castiel's bed lit enough to see that Dean hadn't changed out of his flannel, sleeping in his slacks no doubt.

"Castiel's vitals, when was the last time they were checked?" she was out of bed, picking up the clipboard from the end of the bed.

"A few hours ago. I don't know. Meg was supposed to do them. We took him off the IV because he thought it would be a good idea to up his own pain meds." Dean ran a hand through his hair and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

"Are you in pain Castiel?" He gave her a small nod, it hurt so much. "On a scale of 1 to-" he interrupted him and held up a 10. Hael looked over at Dean who looked sympathetic.

"I'll go get something. You stay put. Keep an eye out for you-know-who." Hael nodded and watched Dean leave the room. Hael turned to Castiel with an unnecessary smile on her face. He gave her a look back mouthing 'what?'

"Dean is a good person. He refuses to let you out of his sight. I’ve only met him once before, at the christmas party, and you weren't very nice to him then." Castiel remembered, there was a karaoke machine and he didn't want to sing. He had to listen to Dean sing for two hours and it wasn't something he enjoyed. He only tolerated it because Hael was there.

He gave her a shrug back and pointed to his water. She picked it up and helped with the straw. It was excruciatingly painful to swallow, but the liquid felt good on his raw throat.

"He saved your life, and he is continuing to fight for you. Fighting so you can keep your job. We all know Naomi's plan." She pulled the cup away when he tried to drink more. 'What plan?'

"Make you a pretty face again, keep you out of being in practice."

'Why?'

"You know why Castiel. Dean might not know exactly why, but he cares about your career. He doesn't want you stuck as a nurse for the rest of your life." She opened her mouth and closed it to smile. "You know this right?" Castiel tilted his head, and saw the look on her face. He knew that look. If he could nod his head like crazy, he would. She always had this face when she thought he was interested in someone. He should have never told her his sexual preference. "You're blind if you don't see."

 'I'm mute, not blind,' he tried to say. He felt more comfortable trying to talk to her. He had this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach when he tried to talk, maybe because he knew nothing would come out. He knew he tried to talk to Dean when he was watching Castiel, but he never got the feeling of awkwardness.

"You're always so cute when you try to defend yourself, especially with no voice."

'No.' He knew he was blushing.

Dean came in before she could continue to harass him.

"Damn reporters made it up to our floor some how."

"Where's Benny?" Hael asked, standing up and crossing the room. She peeked out of the closed blinds. Castiel caught Dean’s attention and tilted his head. Benny was the hospital’s head security guard.

"Benny’s out there. Pissed." Dean smiled at him and placed two pills in his hand. "This should help. Sorry they are pills, couldn't get to the liquid stuff." Dean took Hael’s seat on the bed and placed a hand on Castiel's forehead. He blushed, in context to his conversation with Hael. "You still not feeling well? You have a fever?" Dean walked to the wall and grabbed the thermometer. His temperature was fine, he was just flustered. He took the pills quickly and laid back into his pillows.

"He did sleep better with you." Dean said to Hael, like Castiel wasn’t in the room.

"Yes. Well, he used to get nightmares after James-" Castiel made a hissing noise with his tongue, stopping her. "Uh, he has them often."

"That’s good. I mean, it’s not good that you have nightmares, but it's a pre-existing problem not caused by this." He gestured to his neck. "Open up." He asked shining a light down his throat.  

"How's our Tessa problem?"

"Not good. The defense wants her results for the trial." Dean ran two fingers under Castiel's jaw softly, trying to avoid the cut, sending a shiver down his spine

"I have to leave in the morning."

"Good. Cas can get one more good night of sleep." He looked up at him with sorrow, sliding his hand into Castiel's. It caused him to go wide eyed and look down at their joined hands. Dean gave them a squeeze and began to stand. Castiel looked at the distracted Hael before holding Dean in place, kissing softly on the under part of his jaw quickly. Now it was Dean's turn to go wide eyed and bright red. Castiel quickly joined him, realizing what he had done.

"I don't think he needs me anymore." Hael giggled. Of course she saw. It caused Castiel to blush harder and Dean to turn redder. "I'm hungry. Take me to the cafeteria, Dean." She had this smile on her face and it seemed to not want to disappear.

"Uh sure. Meg should be up soon with some soup."

Meg didn't come, but Castiel was okay with that. He was able to feel the pain meds kick in. When Dean returned, he took his place on the bed as Hael stood at the end.

"Castiel, they want you to see Tessa." Hael said. He turned to Dean who was looking down at Castiel's hand. "She is the best at what she does, but so are you."

"She only gets ten minutes." Dean said quietly, taking his hand.

Ten minutes is enough to finish my career.  Castiel thought. Tessa can read people's emotion, and she is a psychologist. It doesn't help that she is on Naomi's side of things.  

He gave them a small nod and closed his eyes. He could try to prolong it by sleeping. Hael is still here also. He picked up the paper and opened one eye to write, handing it to Dean.

Tomorrow. I shall sleep now.

"Yeah, good idea."

"There's another thing, Castiel." Hael said, causing them both to turn. "If Tessa gets any sign that you and Dean-" she gestured at their hands which Dean pulled away like fire. "Then he can no longer be your doctor."

He mouthed 'okay' and laid his head back down. His body felt heavy, along with his eyes. Dean must have given him drowsy pain meds.

----

Castiel knew he was dreaming because he saw Jimmy as a child next to him in the bed.

"Boys are icky, Cashew."

I know you think that way, but I've grown.

He knew Jimmy was going to die in his dream. He always did, especially when he used their nickname for him.

"He's icky. Bad blooded, icky." He was talking about Dean. This part was new.

He saved my life.

"He could have saved your voice. Selfish."

Stop.

"Icky icky icky. He's going to ruin everything you've done, Cashew."

No.

The dream shifted.

He watched as Jimmy climbed up onto the hospital bed and began jumping, yelling icky. For some reason, he felt rage build in him. He watched as the room turned red and he stood up on the bed. He grabbed Jimmy still and cut his throat. He smiled at him as blood spilled out down his chest.

"He did this to you.  You know how to fix it." He panicked. He threw the knife and began to dig into the cut, trying to find the vocal cords, just like in med school. Jimmy made choking sounds, trying to moan in pain. He found them and yanked on them. He screamed when he tore them out and watched his twin brother fall on the now soaked red bed.

His scream echoed in his dream, but as it faded to his own dark hospital bed, it was silent.  

"Castiel!" Hael was yelling from somewhere in the room. Strong hands held him, one hand firmly secure on the nape of his neck.

"Get me that gause!"

He closed his eyes tight, and grabbed onto Dean tightly. He pushed his face into his shoulder again, feeling a sharp pain. He had opened his stitches.

"Lay back Cas." Dean asked. He refused to let go.

"Castiel!" Hael yelled, laying a hand on his shoulder. He slowly leaned back with the help of both doctors in the room. He closed his eyes, feeling as they poked and prodded at his neck.

"Shit. He tore it further."

"I'll get a kit." Hael said softly. He opened his eyes slowly and found Dean's flannel covered in blood. The pain was still numb or, he wondered if Dean shot him with something.

"You're a train wreck, you know that right?" He tried to joke. Castiel just stared at him with half lidded eyes. He watched as Dean cleaned the blood off him, and Hael popped up with a stitches kit. Dean did give him something, he didn't feel anything as Dean worked on his neck slowly. He realised that Dean was practically sitting on him, trying to focus on the work at hand. Castiel smiled and ran a hand over Dean's thigh.

"Whoa there." Dean practically turned a new shade of red and moved off of him, sitting on the edge of the bed instead.  Castiel grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, distracting him from working on his neck. He kissed him on his jaw. He liked Deans jaw, it had stubble growing thick because of his time here. "H-Hael?"

"He gets loopy on it. Always becomes braver on it too."

"So, I can tell Tessa not today." Dean sighed in relief. It caused Castiel to do the same and went to grab him again, but he shot up. "Hael wants to shave your face." Dean looked at the floor and rubbed his neck.

"Yes. You're becoming a bear Castiel. All that peach fuzz." She giggled. He giggled back, or tried to.  

When Dean left, Hael's expression was dark.

"You had that dream, didn't you."

Yes.

"Yet, it was different."

Yes.

"I wish I didn't have to leave." She helped him take off the bloody night gown, and slowly helped him into a clean one. "But Dean will take care of you."

And Meg.

"Yes, and Meg." She smiled. "She spoke at your trial today." He watched her pull a razor out of a plastic bag. "Defense was brutal on her. Saying she could have saved you." You know her, she blew up on him."

How do you know?

"Castiel, your case is huge. Alastair is making it a big deal, also its televised."

He had no idea. He hoped they didn't call him to the trial. Sam must be annoyed about this case.

When is Dean?

"What?"

He asked for the paper and wrote it down.

"Oh. He is called in two days. But he might be moved to tomorrow since Tessa is being moved around."

Can I watch?

He pointed to the neglected television posted against the wall near his bed. She gave him a sympathetic look.

"Oh Castiel. You shouldn't. It's brutal. Things the defense is saying about you."

Dean's day.

"It wouldn't do you any good. Not with Tessa coming."

Dean's day.

She couldn't tell him no. He wanted to watch it. The trial started two days after the attack, and Richards asked for it to be televised, saying he was not guilty due to the medication he was taking prescribed by Castiel.  

"You must ask your doctor." She said. He will.

----

Meg returned with a scowl on her face. She checked his vitals slowly and quietly.  He tapped her shoulder and mouthed 'how are you?'

"Fine. You're the one who I should be asking. You have more stitches since the last time I saw you." She pointed to his neck and turned to roll over his dinner tray.

Where's Dean?

"Getting ready for the trial. It's in a few hours." She went to give him a spoonful of broth when he pointed sternly at the television. "You want to watch it?" He nodded. "I don't think that's a good idea, Clarence." He pointed again, glaring at her. She gave him a sympathetic look. "Eat and I'll turn it on."

Hours passed. And some soap opera was playing on the channel before the trial. Meg explained that the trial was already happening and they will air it soon. It began as if it was a news channel. It made Castiel's stomach flutter as he watched as his face went on screen along with Alastair. It explained that Dr. Dean Winchester was on today and how he was a hot fuse. Whatever that meant, it didn't sound good. They cut to the courtroom filled with people he didn't know. He recognized Sam and his girlfriend Jess sitting at his table. He had seen them when they'd come in for check ups. Then there was Alastair, smiling at his table with some big balding guy who seemed to also be smiling.

"What a dickhead." Meg said, she was practically growling.

"I call to the stand Dr. Dean Winchester."

Castiel perked up, watching as the camera switched to the doctor. He was dressed in a nice suit, face shaved but couldn't hide the circles around his eyes. Alastair's attorney, Zachariah, stood up and unbuttoned his suit jacket.

"What is your relationship to Dr. Novak?" He already hated this guy and his voice pissed him off.

"I am a colleague and friend." Dean only half lied.

"And what is your relationship with Alastair?"

"There is none. He was Dr. Novak's patient." Dean looked pissed, staring right at Alastair.

"Could you please explain to the court what happen that day?"

"Yeah sure. I arrived that day with two bagels instead of one."

"The incident,  Dr. Winchester." The judge said. Laughter filled the courtroom, the camera moves to Sam who didn't look so happy.

"Dr. Novak forgot Alastair chart at the nurses' station. When I went to deliver it to his nurse, nurse Masters, I met her outside of the exam room. It wasn't until we heard Alastair demand something that we entered the room, witnessing Alastair-" he paused and looked over at the jury. Dean knew what he was doing. "Alastair cut Castiel's neck with a kitchen knife."

No reaction from the audience, they probably have heard this from Meg.

"What did you do then?"

"I-uh, restrained Alastair before he could do any other damage, sending Meg to start with Dr. Novak's injury."

"What was your method of restraining Alastair?" Deans jaw locked and he looked over at his brother. "Your method Doctor."

"My fist."

"Thank you. " Zachariah turned around to pick up a photo. "I have here photographic proof that Dr. Winchester beat my client as his method of restraint."

"Objection!" Yelled Sam.

"Yes, proceed. I want to hear your side."

Sam stood and watched Zachariah sit down.

"Dr. Winchester, say I pulled out a knife and threatened you,  what would you do?" Sam asked. Dean laughed at his brother and smirked.

"I'd probably try to get the knife away from you."

"With what means?"

"With any means. If I need to protect someone, it's not like I'm going to pull out another knife and fight them like a gang member."

"Self defense."

"Yes."

"Objection, punching someone to get a dangerous weapon away from them and beating them to a pulp are two different things." Zachariah yelled.

"Overruled."

"May I presume that Dr. Winchester didn't have much time to quote 'beat him to a pulp' because he also had to began operating on Dr. Novak."

"That is correct. I immediately got to work once I knew Alastair was out for the count."

"You eliminated the threat before proceeding with Dr. Novak?"

"Yes."

"And you saved Dr. Novak.”

"Yes."

"That is all."

Sam returned to his seat looking unhappy. Castiel thought he did a good job. Zachariah stood.

"You are still Dr. Novak's doctor, correct?"

"Yes."

"You saved his life, but not his vocal cords." Castiel could see how tense he was.

"That is correct."

"If you were not beating Alastair for so long, could you have saved his voice?"

There was a pause. Why did he pause?

"No. The damage was done. I focused on saving him."

"Meg Masters stated that could have."

"Could is different then a for sure thing." Dean snapped back.

"Could you have entered the room 10 seconds before, you could have stopped it."

"Look. He is the one who slit his throat, I did everything in my power to stop Alastair and save Castiel."

"I don't have any further questions. You want to take over?" Zechariah said to Sam. Sam stood up and glared at him.

"Will Castiel ever talk again?"

"I cannot determine that at this time."

"What would you say, if you had to."

Dean paused. "No. The damage is done."

"Castiel can no longer work as a doctor, is that correct?"

"That is correct."

Castiel felt a cold sweat wash over him.

"Not only did Alastair almost take his life but he took Dr. Novak's voice and job." Sam said to the jury. "In your medical opinion, will Castiel be able to work again?"

"If he doesn't receive PTSD from the experience, he could become a main nurse."

"Why did Sam ask that?" Meg asked quietly.

Castiel didn't know. But he didn't like where this was going.

"And if Dr. Novak has PTSD he can no longer work, correct?"

"Correct." Dean didn't look happy, glaring intensely at his brother

"What are a few signs of PTSD?"

Silence. Come on Dean. Don't pause.

"Night terrors. Fatigue. Loss of appetite. Really depends on the person."

Right as Sam asked another question, Dean walked into the room.

"Shit. Sam screwed us." He pulled his tie off while crossing the room. Castiel's stomach was still turning uncomfortably. He reached out for Dean, keeping an eye on the television. "Turn this crap off."

"Has Dr. Novak had any of these symptoms?" Sam said on the television

Dean in court looked down at his hands before letting out a sigh.

"He has, but they have prior incidence to cause mild stress."

"Prior incidence? The doctor should have been fired a long time ago." Zachariah said.

"Order!"

"Castiel is a great doctor, the best! You don't know what you're talking about." Dean stood up.

"I wouldn't want a doctor who could have a melt down."

"I wouldn't want a lunatic for a patient, who goes around murdering people who are just trying to help."

"Order! Sit down Dr. Winchester!"

"I wouldn't want either of you as my doctor. Beating people up instead of helping them."

"Zachariah, be quiet or I'll kick both of you out!" The judge was yelling now.

"I said turn it off." Dean beside him picked the remote up and turned it off. Castiel grabbed his hand, twisting their fingers together.

"That Zach guy was just trying to get you angry." Meg said, rolling the food trey closer.

"Well he did his job." Dean murmured.

"What was up with Sam?"

"He was trying to make Cas seem vulnerable, to sympathize with the jury."

Castiel wanted to bring up what Dean had said in court, but he didn't want to upset him.

"I'm going to get his x-ray exam ready." Meg said, waving a chart around as she left the room. They both watched her leave before Castiel turned slightly to see Dean still staring at the door.

A week ago, he never thought he would be in this position. Relying on a man he thought was lazy and naive. He smiled finding the whole thing kind of funny. When Dean turned to him, eyeing his neck, causing him to frown.

The last thing Castiel said to Dean wasn't a nice thing, and now he can't say anything to him ever again. His chest swelled up and he felt overwhelmed by the thought, he choked a small sob causing Dean to look up.

"What's wrong?" He squeezed Castiel's hand before pulling him into his arms. He grabbed onto Dean's suit, digging in his fingertips. "Come now, you can't have emotional spurts on me. Not with Tessa coming." Dean pulled him away, but he became reluctant to let go of his suit. "I'm having your x-ray done before she gets here. Well, it was an excuse to delay her coming. She's coming in the morning." He got up and went to the large closet of supplies, pulling out a collapsible wheelchair. Castiel groaned, or tried to. He didn't want to be wheeled around like a-

"There are a few reporters out there. This will be your first appearance." Dean was avoiding eye contact. What was his plan? He didn't need x-rays, so Dean wanted him to be seen by the press? Was it Sam's idea? He just nodded and began to scoot to the edge of the bed. It was easier without IV's. Dean helped him into the chair and laid a blanket over his lap and bare legs. He looked stupid.

Dean quickly exchanged his suit jacket for a lab coat and began pushing Castiel to the door.

"Ready?"

He gave the tiniest nod and watched as Dean opened the door.

He was right about the reporters, about a dozen were in the waiting room between them and the x-ray room. They rushed over and began flashing pictures, Castiel squinted and tried to block the lights out. They practically yelled at 'Dr. Winchester' with questions about Castiel's health. Dean ignored him, and pushed through them to the big double doors. Benny came through them, standing intimidatingly behind them as they continued through.

When they stopped at the nurses office, all the nurses came over and coddled him. He asked for a paper and pen, which only Dean understood his charades. He wrote down hello which made them all coo. Dean was on a hospital phone, talking too quietly for him to hear. It wasn't long until he was pushing the chair again. He quickly scribbled on his pad of paper.

What is this all about?

"I knew you'd be too smart to fool. Look, it was Sam's idea. He wanted some press on your recovery. Pictures have a thousand words, he said." He still pushed him into the x-ray room where Meg stood with a magazine.

"Took long enough. Naomi wants the results before Tessa gets here tomorrow." He looked up at Dean, before quickly scribbling down his thoughts.

I thought this was a front.

"It's not. I want to check something."

Meg set him up still in the chair. She lifted his neck up as high as his comfort would allow. It was quickly over and he pointed to the small room Dean was in. Meg rolled her eyes and pushed him there. He knew Dean was scanning the results, he had such a serious face. His gut turned when he thought of his last words to Dean were. He felt guilty now, that he could never thank him in his own voice.

"So? What's the sitch?"

"I can. But-" he looked at Castiel. "I have to ask him."

"Your brother will be pissed." Meg pulled out her cell and began staring at it.

"It's not his life to choose." He turned back to Castiel. "My brother wants me to fraudulent these to show you will never speak again."

But...

"But, you may be able to." Dean tried to hold back a smile. Castiel felt his heart stop, he could feel his face stretch as he gave the biggest smile he had ever given. He tried not to cry, but they were tears of joy. It hurt to cry, but he couldn't stop.

He was saved.

By a doctor he thought was useless, no less. Dean was now smiling too.

"Now we just have to convince Tessa, and we are on the road back to Dr. Novak."

"You two make me sick." Meg said, handing her phone to Dean. "Your pictures hit the bandwagon already. The press is on your side now."

"Meg, take him back to his room. I need to talk to Sam." Dean handed her phone back and began typing on the computer. Castiel panicked and pushed his chair away from Meg. He circled the small desk and grabbed Dean's shirt collar, pulling his face closer. Their teeth clattered together, and Dean gasped against his lips, but he definitely kissed back.

"Oh brother." Meg said, sounding like she reopened her magazine. When he finally pushed away a little, green eyes stared back. He smiled, pushing forward for another small kiss. He felt heat radiate through him, numbing the pain, filling him with joy.

"You need to go back to your room, Mr. Novak." He said smirking. "Doctors orders." Castiel pulled him in for a last peck before falling back into his wheelchair.

Meg took him back, press still there asking her if Castiel will ever talk again. She ignored them and pushed them into the elevator. He felt like he was floating,  could be the medication Dean just gave him or-

"Tessa. What a pleasure to see you." Meg said, pulling Castiel out of his daze.

"Hello Miss. Masters. Dr. Novak." She was dressed in scrubs, not her usual get up. She smiled at him, pulling her hair out of her face. "I am looking forward to tomorrow Castiel. I can tell you are doing so much better. Got a bit of color back in your face."

It caused him to blush and look down at his lap. She shouldn't be here. She shouldn't be reading him. Dean wouldn't allow this. He watched her exit on a different floor and when the doors closed, he let out a loud sigh.

"Wow Clarence,  you're screwed."

Don't tell Dean.

"I wouldn't want to. He'd blame me."

--

Castiel was alone in his room staring at the door. He didn't like having to deal with his own thoughts. He wanted this to be over already.

He perked up when the door opened, but it was just Meg.

"Happy to see you too, Clarence." She groaned and lifted bathing bottoms. "Guess what time it is."

Bathing time.

It was his turn to goan. Meg helped him into the small tub after an embarrassing moment of trying not to fall while slipping into the shorts. Meg let him wash himself, but had to help with his hair and neck. It felt good to wash, even if it was with Meg.

After, he was able to wear sweats instead of just a gown. She helped him back to bed and asked if he was hungry. He nodded and wrote on his paper.

Dean?

"You're like a puppy." She turned away for a moment. "He's on his way." And she made for the door. "Be careful doc. Don't fall for him because he's your doctor." She said and left.

Castiel knew what she meant. It had happened to him before, but this was different. It wasn't the same when Ms. Tran fell for him after her traumatic attack, he didn't feel the same way back. Dean felt the same, right? He hated thinking about these things. He lay back and closed his eyes.

Castiel woke with a start, realizing he fell asleep. He looked around the room to find Dean at the desk, reading. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came. It still somehow got the doctor's attention.

"Well hello there." Dean got up and crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed. "Feeling any better?"

He nodded.

"On a scale of one to ten?"

He held up a three. Causing Dean to sigh and smile. Then he did something unexpected. He climbed into the hospital bed, pushing himself to Castiel's side, resting his head next to his shoulder.

"I'm exhausted. Sam tore me a new one when I told him I was going to submit the results as is." Castiel didn't know what to do with his hands, he placed one over Dean's that was against his side, and the other lightly lay in Dean's hair. The warmth was comfortable and he smiled. "When you return, I will be transferring out."

What?

Dean turned, feeling the breath against his forehead from Castiel's question.

"You're not in your right mind. I'm trying to help you, and the only way is to get out from under your feet. They want to promote me to your position, I refused, but they are being annoying about it." Dean sighed.

Dean couldn't transfer! This was his hospital, and if they lose both of the best, who was left?

Of course he panicked. He shook his head and winced when it sent pain down his neck. He didn't know how else to tell Dean, so he grabbed the doctors lapel and pulled him into a hard kiss. He held him there as long as he could, wishing he could just read minds. No! Don't leave. No, no, no!  He felt Dean try to pull away for a moment before melting into it. His lips slowly opened giving Castiel permission. He slipped his tongue, tasting Dean, pulling a moan out of him. Pleasure replaced the pain in his throat as he continued to push into Dean's space. Dean finally did something with his hands other than have them floating. He rested a warm palm against Castiel's nape and the other grabbed onto his hips. His grip tightened when Castiel climbed into his lap, licking the underneath of Dean's tongue, causing another moan. Castiel could feel himself try to moan in return, but It was silent. Pain radiated through him and he pulled back, stopped by Dean's hand on his neck.

"You okay?" Dean asked panting for air. The thumb on his neck caressed his hairline in comfort. He looked up at Dean,  making sure the green eyes were paying attention before moving his lips.

Don't leave.

"But-"

Don't!

He placed his hand over Dean's mouth and stared him down. He let out a soft sigh and leaned forward to kiss above his hand on Dean's cheek. He slowly let his hand drop and leaned forward, against Dean's chest. He should have asked for pain killers, but he was too comfortable to care.

---

Tessa was coming today and Castiel refused to open his eyes. He had already made his decision, and he didn't get the nickname 'emotionless angel' for nothing. It would be easier without his voice to fail him.

Opening his eyes, he was laying back on his bed and Dean had moved to his own bed sometime during the night, snoring again. Castiel listened for a while before opening his eyes all the way. He could feel his strength returning slowly, thankfully. He gathered the pad of paper and pen and began writing before he forgot anything.

He hesitated with what he wanted for a moment, until he looked over at Dean snoring. He knew his healing was going to take a while, he knew that his life was never going to be the same. He knew his options, and he knew his choice.

Castiel wrote, and rewrote, keeping an eye on the small clock above the door.

Meg came in a few hours later with pain killers and food. She took his vitals quietly and asked him if he needed her to feed him. He nodded and slowly sipped on broth through a straw. He reread his writing and ignored Meg's glare from her clipboard.

Around eleven, Meg went over to Dean and practically beat Dean awake. He rubbed his eyes and cursed at Meg's method of raising him from the dead.

"It's eleven." She said and walked over to the closet, pulling out the wheelchair. Castiel became confused, looking over at the groggy Dean who was running a hand over his face repeatedly. "Come on Clarence, let's get you all fresh and bushy tailed." She helped him into the wheelchair and rolled him over to the restroom. He turned to Dean again, trying to find answers, but Meg pressured him inside. "Wash up, and brush your damn teeth. Or do you need me to help you?" He sent a glare at her and walked slowly into the restroom, closing the door slowly. He took his time, hiding the paper in his pocket of his sweats. It felt like a brick in his pocket, causing him to feel twists in his stomach.

Castiel finished and opened the door slowly, leaning on the doorframe. Dean was dressed in a fresh green button up and lab coat. He had glasses pushed up his nose, Dean only wore his glasses if he was too tired or stressed. Or if he was going to be analyzing something. He smiled at Castiel and called Meg's name. She rushed in and pushed the wheelchair making car noises, along with a screeching brake noise when she stopped in front of him.

"All aboard." She said smiling. He rolled his eyes and climbed into the chair. It was useless, but he would rather not be dizzy and he had no idea where they were going.

Meg followed Dean out of the room, towards the elevator. Sam stood right outside of it, hands in his pockets and a stern face.

"This is a horrible idea." Dean said to his brother.

"Well it's not up to you." Sam looked angry up close. Meg passed Castiel over to Sam and went back to the room. Dean was glaring at his brother.

"Something isn't right. Who's idea was this anyways?"

"Mine Dean. Just, hang back. Alright?" Sam began rolling him into the elevator, he panicked and grabbed out at Dean's hand, pulling him into the elevator with them as the door closed. He looked up at Dean who had a huge grin on his face and when he turned to Sam, he looked over at his brother with what Dean would call 'a bitch face.'

"I will take you both out back and kill you both." Sam said bitterly.

"Oh, come on Sammy. Don't be a sour puss." He tried to let go of Castiel's hand, but he gripped it tighter. "You too Cas, they're reporters. It'll be over soon."

He hesitated before letting go and placing his hand in his lap.

"Take off his bandage?" Sam asked quietly.

"No. No more sympathetic pictures." Dean said running a hand over the nape of his neck sending a pleasant shiver down his spine. The elevator dinged and the doors opened, with the hand disappearing quickly. Sam pushed him and when he didn't hear a second pair of shoes, he tried to turn to see Dean. He was in the elevator, waving back at him as it closed behind him.

He groaned, or tried to, sinking into the wheelchair.

Through the next door, thousands of flashes blinded him. There were three times more reporters than before, and it made his stomach turn. He blocked the flashes out with his hands, they yelled questions at him and Sam making no sense in the jumble. Sam quickly pushed them through the double doors. The flashes and yelling ceased. He let out a sigh and left his eyes closed. His heart was still beating quickly, his nerves on edge.

"Sorry 'bout that. We needed them to know, you were in fact seeing Tessa."

Of course he was seeing Tessa. He didn't want to, but they were insistent about it.

"You're going to have a thirty minute session. She believes you to be done before that, but the court issued a session."

He grinded his teeth, annoyed by Tessa already. Someone who was an ally now felt like an enemy.

Castiel recognized this hall, where his old office used to be. Sam turned into an old office, he recognized the number on the door. It was Dean's old office. His heart pounded as Sam pushed him inside. Tessa was sitting on a small rolling chair looking over a clipboard of paper, her blue eyes avoiding his. Her hair hung over her ears, moving when she shifted her head.

"Thank you Mr. Winchester." She said softly. Castiel felt him leave, closing the door. He noticed that Dean's things were still in this room, desk and all. He didn't know that Dean stayed in this part of the hospital.

"It is nice to see you're doing better." She finally looked up at him, eyes scanning over his form. He knew what she did, her method of extracting the truth out of someone. She could read people's emotion, even with the slightest twitch of an eyebrow, that was why his family hired her.

"Would you like some water?" She lifted a bottle up. Was this part of it? He nodded and reached out for it. She slowly handed it to him. It was already partially open, and he slowly drank it, trying not to move his neck too much. He could feel her eyes watching him. He put the lid back on and smiled at her. She turned and lifted a pad of paper with a marker.

"Since you can't talk and all." He accepted it, remembering the note in his pocket.

"Shall we begin?" She pulled out her own pad of paper and pen.

"On a scale of one to ten, how much pain are you in today?" He wrote on the pad.

Six.

"Are you having any symptoms of PTSD?"

Right to the point, Castiel smiled.

Yes. But,

He showed her as she took notes of her own.

They are pre-existing.

"How long have these pre-existing symptoms occurred?"

Since Jimmy.

He watched her face change to something sympathetic.

"Are these symptoms morphed into something related to your current situation?"

He moved his hand in a wave motion, indicating so-so.

"How so?"

He moved his finger over his throat in a cutting motion. She wrote that down.

"Is that all?"

Yes. Minor altercations. Less dreams.

"I have not gotten the final tests back from Dr. Winchester to find if you will be able to talk again. If the tests come back positive, you can be trained to talk again and return to your job in about a year." She watched him carefully. He already knew this information. "But, if you come back negative, you shall be let go or have the option of demotion to a high nurse." He gave a small nod. She shifted in her seat.

"What is your relationship with Dr. Dean Winchester?"

He grinded his teeth, knowing she saw the shift in his jaw.

It does not concern this evaluation.

"It does Castiel. If you are compromised by the doctor, you could have the Florence Nightingale Effect. Dr. Winchester and Nurse Master is the only communication you've had since your accident."

And my sister.

"Irrelevant. You can show signs of dependents towards the good doctor and therefore be unfit to work around Dr. Winchester."

He practically hissed at her, dropping the pen into his lap and digging out the piece of paper in his pocket, handing it to her.

She stared at it for a moment before taking it out of his hands. He watched her eyes scan over the words as she read quietly. Something in Tessa's face shifted until she was done and looked up.

"Are you sure Castiel?"

It will not affect my job.

"This means you-"

I understand the change and accept it.

"Dr. Winchester will fight this. He will read my report and will agree with me. He will cause you to become dependable, that is not a proper treatment."

He is the only treatment I need.

She closed her mouth tight, eyeing him, but he could tell she was having a hard time reading him. She looked down at her notes and back up at him.

"I like you Castiel, and I do not want to watch you fall. I hate what your family wants to do with you, so-" she bit her lip and looked at the clock. "I shall read my report to the court. I hope it helps." He gave a small nod and a smaller smile.

Castiel watched her stand and walk to open the door, Sam was right outside the room.

"This session is over." She said and walked down the hall. Sam watched her for a moment before turning to Castiel with a queer look on his face. Castiel shrugged and wheeled himself to the door. He wrote Dean on the pad and watched Sam roll his eyes.

"That only lasted about fifteen minutes. I hope everything went positive." He gave a small nod. "She goes to court this afternoon."

He hoped she understood.

---

Dean must have been pacing while he was gone because they caught him mid step. He turned to them and smiled.

"That was quick. Wait, why was it quick? Is it bad?" Sam stopped him, but he continued to roll himself towards Dean.

"I have no idea. I need to head to court." Sam rolled his eyes and left the room. Dean turned to him.

"Was it bad?" Castiel gave a small nod and smiled, grabbing Dean's hand and pulling him closer. He pointed to the bed, then the TV. Dean got the message and helped him back into bed with ease, of course Castiel dragged him down onto the bed as well. Dean yelped and let out a laugh.

They turned on the television and watched the soap opera about doctors before his court.

"This is so unrealistic. We do not have sex in every room of a hospital, it would be unsanitary." Dean pointed out about the soap opera. Castiel turned to him raising an eyebrow, causing Dean to turn a dark red. "Don't get any funny ideas mister. Bed rest till-till forever!" He looked down and Castiel could tell he was flustered. He gave a silent giggle.

The news reporter reviewed Dean's disruption to the court the day before, and opened with Tessa already on the stand.

"Can you please read your diagnostic of Dr. Castiel Novak to the court please." The judge asked. Tessa stood, fixing her blazer and pulling out a paper, among them he could see his note. He felt his face heat up quickly before he glanced at Dean and back at the television.

"Dr. Castiel Novak will be able to have his voice returned with intensive physical therapy. Signs of pre-existing mild case of PTSD does not bring danger to his duties as a doctor. However-"

He could feel Dean lean forward and hold his breath.

"Dr. Novak has chosen to become demoted to Head Nurse of J. Novak Hospital and Dr. Dean Winchester will take position as the main doctor."

The court went loud, and he wasn't sure why they cared about him as much as the attacker.

"What?!" Dean yelled, sitting straight up from where Castiel was trying to pin him to the bed. "You can't!" He practically yelled, trying to get out of bed. Castiel quickly climbed over Dean and pinned him to the bed, holding his hands. Dean looked angry, flustered and angry. Castiel raised a pointer finger to indicated Dean to stay. He grabbed the pad of paper and pen, quickly writing on it.

It is my decision. This way I can work alongside you. I need you.

He hesitated with the word 'need.' He watched Dean read over the paper, eyes becoming wide. He took the pad out of his hands and set it down on the table. He wrapped his hands around Castiel's face and pulled him slowly down.

"I might disagree, but I guess you're just as stubborn as me." He kissed his forehead softly and when Castiel winced in pain, since the angle of his neck was disagreeing with him, Dean sat up carefully and examined his throat. "Besides, this might be a good idea. I'd be constantly worried about you if you were away with patients without me." He kissed his lips softly and ran a hand over the nape of his neck.

-----

It had been eight months since the accident and Castiel was actually enjoying himself as a nurse. He didn't have to work so hard. His voice wasn't returning as quickly as they hoped, but him and Dean took a sign language class together.

Castiel won the case, sending Alastair to jail for fifty years. Besides periodic visits from Tessa, his mental state was fine, no nightmares as long as Dean was by his side.

He had a voice computer system installed in each waiting room, so as he typed it would talk to the current patient, and other than that he signed to his good doctor.

Can we have pizza tonight? Castiel signed.

"Only if you're buying." He was busy writing something on a pad of paper, half paying attention. Meg was busy behind them, cleaning the room for the next patient.

What if I promise to be your delivery boy this time?

Dean actually paid attention, placing down the pad of paper and smiled.

Is my pizza going to be extra meaty tonight?  Dean signed.

Maybe.

"Guys, you know I read sign language. My brother is deaf. God! I never catch a break with you two." Meg slammed down her clipboard and jogged out of the room, leaving two very flustered, bright red faced doctors.

"Pizza sounds great." Dean said, wrapping his hands around Castiel's hips and pulling him into a small kiss.

"Good." Castiel whispered softly in his ear.His voice wasn't coming back as well, but whispers came out loud and clear.

So did moans.