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Eugene realised that, as much as he thought he was angry with Cassandra, he wasn't really furious until he saw Varian hanging over the air in a cage of black rocks. He had been sad, because Cassandra was his friend and she betrayed them; he had been frustrated, because she kept hurting Rapunzel, who had her flaws, but nothing that couldn't be solved with a discussion; he was concerned, for his friends and for Corona, concerned at what she would be willing to do.
Then, she kidnapped Varian and put him in a cage high above the ground, and he felt furious.
Varian, for his part, was scared but more focused on the last incantation than on himself, letting Eugene do all the worrying about the empty space under them, and how easily Cassandra could let them fall. When the rocks started retreating, Eugene had half a mind to curse - until Varian called his name fearfully, and he realised there were more important things. He took the kid's hand in his, squeezing it tightly and hoping he would understand that Eugene intended to defend him against Cassandra if need to be.
Well, except that she squeezed him between black rocks, and he was helpless to do anything but glare at her. She was using him to pressure Rapunzel into fighting and Eugene hated it, but when he tried to talk, the rocks squeezed tighter, and he lost his breath with a groan.
The next part was a little blurry. Or, more exactly, a little too bright for Eugene to follow. Rapunzel was shining and floating and exuding power like a goddess and, once Eugene's heart stopped beating so loud with anxiety, he would be awed by her beauty. She was fighting Cassandra, who was also glowing because nothing could ever be easy in their lives, and Eugene still struggled to breath, both because of the rocks and the sheer energy he was faced with. Some part of his brain told him he was also cursed with the "birthday should involve a near death experience" special, and he would have laughed if it wasn't his friends being in danger too.
Then, Rapunzel and Cassandra clashed together and the energy was enough to break the black rocks surrounding him, and push him away a few feet. He was fighting the strong gusts of wind when he heard a cry from behind him, and turned just soon enough to see Varian being pushed over the edge.
Eugene thought he screamed but he wasn't sure - there was too much noise all around and blood was rushing to his ears.
He scrambled after him, the wind pushing him harshly to his knees midway - but he got up again, he ignored the pain in his bones and rose up because he needed to see- needed to go and try to fix this, even if it already felt like he was too late because Varian fell and they were so high up the ground-
Eugene stumbled again near the edge and crawled the few inches left, his head sticking out over the staggering height. He felt sick, Varian's cry of terror like a twisted knife in his body - and Eugene knew something about those.
It felt like a dream, then, when he saw the tiny figures right under him - first a recognisable red-head, Catalina, then Angry right at her side, Lance and… Varian, in Lance's arms. It took several more seconds before Eugene managed to breathe again, laughing nervously as he was overwhelmed with relief. He closed his eyes and thought numbly that they had been lucky, so so lucky, but his body was still thrumming with anxiety and fear.
The energy of the sundrop and the moonstone disappeared and Eugene got shakily to his feet, running to the second focus of his worry: Rapunzel. He joked that she had been awesome, and she was too exhausted and wrung out to see that his smile wasn't quite reaching his eyes - which was good since Varian didn't seem to know that Eugene had saw him go over the edge.
Everyone was acting normal, so Eugene bottled up the terror he couldn't quite shake, and they went home.
"Hey Varian, are you- oh my god get down from here are you crazy?!"
"Hi Eugene!" Varian greeted brightly, ignoring the unmanly screech as he balanced himself precariously on a ladder, trying to reach the highest part of his new contraption. "You'll never guess what this do!"
"Varian-"
"I mean, I know I wouldn't have guessed, considering that this is beyond what currently exist, but I'm also the creator so nothing is impossible for me-"
"Kid-"
"Well some things are, impossible that is, but not this and once I tell you what this is I think you'll be pretty amazed that-"
"Varian!" Eugene's voice was loud enough to interrupt the alchemist's excited ramblings, something dark and scared hiding in his tone. Varian looked down at his friend, the other half of team awesome, and noticed that Eugene was white as a sheet. "I- Varian, please, can you get down from here?"
It was supposed to be a request but sounded so much like begging that Varian complied immediately, sliding down the ladders in barely three seconds. Eugene seemed ready to protest, but sighed instead, his shoulders sagging as he put his hand through his hair. Going by said hair, more precisely its disheveled state, something was seriously wrong with Eugene.
"Are you alright, Eugene?" Varian asked, biting his lips.
"Who, me?" Eugene laughed, the sound too high pitched to be genuine. "Pff, yeah I'm fiiine, always am! Anyway, uh, I have to- to- brush my hair, so see ya!"
And just like that, he was gone, without even asking what he came here for. Varian blinked at the half-opened door worriedly, rubbing his own arm as Ruddiger settled around his neck to comfort him. Since the events with Cassandra, Eugene had been downright weird - always insisting on safety measures, and stopping Varian from doing anything that could result in even a papercut as long as he was in the room. At first, Varian basked in the new found attention; then he was frustrated by Eugene's overwhelming protectiveness, because he wasn't a little kid; but now, he was only confused and concerned about his friend's state of mind.
That was the first time Varian tried to confront him outright, but it had resulted in exactly what he feared: avoidance. He would have worried that Eugene was angry with him, if the man wasn't trying to protect him from every little bruise and cut. His health in general seemed to be the centre of Eugene's concerns, these days, as the man also lectured him on good eating and sleeping habits.
Though, going by the dark circles under Eugene's eyes, that was irony at its finest.
Varian grimaced, looking up to his ladder but abandoning this project for a while, not in the mood anymore. He gathered his tools and tried to think back at what could have provoked this shift, why Eugene wouldn't trust him with his safety anymore, when it hit him.
Trust.
Since Varian had been kidnapped, Eugene lost his trust in him being able to take care of himself correctly. Upset at the thought, Varian frowned, before coming to a conclusion: he had to gain that trust back. He had to show Eugene that he shouldn't worry.
Easier said than done.
Eugene knew that he couldn't keep this up forever, couldn't avoid Varian forever, and he already felt guilty enough about it. However, he also knew that he needed to get a grip on himself - he could hear how overbearing he was being with the kid and, despite cringing internally at his own behaviour, he couldn't stop himself from interrupting each time there was the slightest sign of danger. His mind kept flashing back to that day, at the top of that damn tower - different but identical in the way that mattered, because he nearly lost another person dear to him in there.
Eugene looked at Varian now, and could only hear his desperate cry for help as he tumbled over the edge. Eugene looked at Varian, looked at the things that could harm him, and his heart started to beat so loudly he wondered if anyone could hear it except him, wondered if anyone could see the trembling of his own hands. So Eugene intervened, because the worst thing that could happen was being too late again when he could have done something - luck wouldn't always be on their side.
That also meant he was being an horrible and controlling friend. Which is why he avoided Varian, which in return made him an even worse friend - vicious circles were like that.
Seeing Varian up on that ladder a week ago made his whole body tense in panic so quickly that it was a wonder Eugene managed to flee - and, after that, it took a very long time for him to be able to breathe normally again. And Eugene knew, he was certain he couldn't impose his own problems on the kid because Varian didn't deserve that - he'd have to deal with his issues first, and everything could come back to normal, and they would be team awesome again.
For the time being, though, he was an horrible friend.
Eugene groaned and buried his face on his pillow. He had to shake off the fear that gripped his gut when he thought back on the few seconds when he thought he would find Varian's sprawled body when he looked down - had to shake off the terror of thinking that this kid, his friend, had died in the middle of a conflict he had no business with, and tha5 Eugene had been useless to save him. Easy, right?
A knock interrupted his swirling thoughts and he frowned. It wasn't late exactly, but Eugene was pretty sure he had nothing planned for this evening, and he was also pretty sure that Rapunzel had other duties to attend, so it couldn't be her. He got up and-
"Hello Eugene!" Varian chirped excitedly, pushing back his goggles in his hair. "Got ten minutes or so?"
"Varian?" Eugene yelped, before he plastered an anxious smile on his face. "I, uh, I'd like too but-"
"I checked with the Princess, your schedule is clear for the evening," the alchemist singsonged without losing a beat.
Varian took Eugene's sleeve and tugged him out of his room without leaving him the time to protest, leading him toward the guards training area. Eugene could only gap at the multiple installations that were clearly not here earlier, and who looked like something you could find in the challenge of the brave. Hardcore version.
"I present you," Varian announced with a dramatic flair Eugene could only admire, "the TRUST! Or Training Regimen to be Used Safely and Tactically, as you wish!"
"What?" Eugene asked dumbly, taking in the spiky ball hung mid-air on a pendulum, or the obviously unsafe axe-throwing area or-
"Well, I noticed you've been very protective of me recently, and I think I know why." Varian nodded at his own words, ignoring the contrived stare Eugene gave him. "This is my way to show you that, even if Cassandra did kidnap me, it doesn't mean that I can't take care of myself!"
"Varian, that's not-"
"I don't blame you, don't worry!" Varian smiled weakly, self-conscious. "I mean, I guess I can understand that you would think I constantly need help, my life is rhythmed by disasters, but you don't need to worry constantly about me and I'll prove it to you right now!"
Varian made his way to the TRUST and pushed a lever Eugene hadn't seen, making all the different obstacles move in a very creative fashion, certainly, but also terribly dangerous. Eugene picked up his jaw from the ground before grabbing the kid's arm and stopping him as he made his way to the spiky pendulum, swaying from right to left quickly.
"Varian you don't need to do that," Eugene pleaded, guilt churning in his stomach.
"Of course I do!" Varian answered angrily, tearing his arm from the hold and backing off toward the contraption without looking. "You don't trust me anymore Eugene and this, this is my way to regain your trust. I- We can't be team awesome if you don't think I'm good enough to protect myself!"
"It's not that," Eugene insisted, "not at all Varian! It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I… I…" he stuttered, feeling his throat dry up as the dreaded images popped back in his head.
Varian took another step back, hurt, and Eugene knew he was fucking this all up but the words wouldn't come to him. Then, he saw the pendulum come their way and realised that Varian had backed off way too much - he didn't even scream his name, instead throwing himself on the kid and making both of them tumble on the ground, to safety. Well, more or less, going by the stinging pain in Eugene's arm - a glance told him that a spike had come too close for comfort.
"Oh god I'm sorry!" Varian exclaimed fearfully, grabbing at Eugene's arm before searching frantically in the bag he carried. "Wait, there's got to be bandages here, I'm sure-"
"Hey, kid, it's okay," Eugene reassured gently, both of them still sitting down on the ground as the could hear the swishing noise the pendulum made behind them. "It's only a graze."
"Yeah, a graze cause by one of my inventions! Again!" Varian's voice broke, and he lowered his eyes, his hair falling in front of his eyes. "Maybe you're right not to trust me," he mumbled, "everything I build ends up hurting the wrong people…"
"Varian," Eugene called firmly, his hand going under the kid's chin and raising his head, "I trust you. Actually, I trust you a lot more than most people, and your inventions may cause problems, but they also constantly help us. They're brilliant, kid."
Seeing the alchemist unconvinced and sad look made Eugene sigh, his free hand tightening against his own leg.
"You remember the mess with Cassandra at the tower, right?" Eugene asked, as if Varian could have forgot - even waiting until the kid nodded, nonplussed. "You… fell, off the tower."
"Yeah," Varian nodded quietly, the memory an unpleasant recurring guest in his nightmares, "Lance was there to catch me, though, I told you."
"You told me," Eugene assented quietly, "but I already knew, because I saw you fall."
Varian's eyes widened as he opened his mouth, before closing it with an audible snap. Eugene's eyes were looking at him, but they seemed glazed over, far away from the situation. His hands were trembling.
"I saw you go over the edge and… I thought-" Eugene trailed off, his voice too quiet to continue, before Varian sneaked his hand to take his. "It took me nearly twenty seconds to get to the edge and, for every of them, I was sure I would find you- find you dead. And I know I've been overbearing recently but- I can't get this fear out of my heart. I'm sorry, Varian," Eugene offered earnestly, "I know that I need to get over this but… I don't know what I'll do if something happened to you."
Varian hugged Eugene tightly right when he finished the story, his goggles digging painfully in Eugene's cheek.
"Thank you," Varian whispered, "for caring about me."
"Of course I do," Eugene whispered too, his arms settling around the kid's back. "You're one of my closest friend. Team awesome, am I right?"
"Team awesome!" Varian yelled in answer, nearly deafening Eugene for a moment as he jumped back to his feet. The kid paused, before proposing shyly: "Let's make a deal: I swear to do my most dangerous activities with someone to help supervise the experiment, if you swear you can accept that I am competent enough to do most things alone."
"Sounds good to me," Eugene grinned, happy that they made progress today - once they escaped the training equipment from hell.
He didn't think everything was fixed - didn't think he could stop being afraid for Varian so suddenly - but it was a first step in the right direction. As long as they were team awesome, they could surpass any obstacle.